Comments on: Online Instructor

By: urbanmutant

urbanmutant — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 21:23:51 +0000

[blockquote]And remember that getting caught having sex with animals is a sure fire way to prematurely end your tennis playing career.[/blockquote]

What? Those oily dogs never did Tim Henman’s career any harm…

By: D'Oyle Dog

D'Oyle Dog — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 12:30:05 +0000

I will humbly suggest a few things, Rafa. Never slam your balls in a car door. It’s a really bad idea. Never drink bleach. Also, try and refrain from beating little old ladies to death. Use that bat thingy to hit the little fuzzy ball over the net and keep it inside the white lines on the other side. It’s a good idea to try to make sure the guy at the other side of the net can’t hit it back to you – so don’t hit it straight at him. And remember that getting caught having sex with animals is a sure fire way to prematurely end your tennis playing career. Those who love you might not always stick around and those who don’t love you will come around if you give them enough money; even if they don’t, there’s always somebody cheaper. If you love someone then set them free. If they love you they will come back: if they don’t come back then hunt them down and kill them. You are Rafael Nadal, try and remember that. If you can’t then I find that writing it in marker pen inside your clothing helps. Better still, write it on the back of your hands: that’s what I do. Happy Bar Mitzvah.

By: Mim

Mim — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 10:15:37 +0000

Yeah, but who doesn’t like oily dogs?

By: pigfrottage

pigfrottage — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 08:59:21 +0000

What if you like tennis and cricket, but don’t like oily dogs? What then?

By: Grov

Grov — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 07:17:48 +0000

I read Eve’s words in the grumpy barking tone of a coach, and it seemed to fit well. Except that the ‘happy birthday’ at the end seemed weirdly begrudging.

Oily dog fucking = still 100% more interesting and worthwhile than watching tennis.

Bahahahahaha! This is special for you, Daley Mayle.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6-JfIduytVs

By: John Freeman

John Freeman — Sun, 14 Jun 2009 07:52:55 +0000

CRICKET? CRICKET? NORMAN TEBBIT? WHAT ARE YOU? WHAT? ARE YOU A FENCE? NO, YOU’RE SOFT! YOU FUCKSQUID! GET OUT!!!

By: Mim

Mim — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 23:52:24 +0000

Ho hum. Sometimes this site really brings out the grumpy dialectologist in me. If I want quasi-moral interpretation of linguistic diversity I’ll read the collected works of Norman Tebbit ta very much.

Eve is quite sweet for a tennis fan. At least she doesn’t seem to live in a particularly awful world of her own. And her punctuation seems pretty extensive by the standards of stream-of-consciousness.

I shall admit to liking cricket now so that I get all my unpopular opinions out of the way at once.

By: The Crushinator

The Crushinator — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 17:44:37 +0000

Separate is spelt with an a, not an e, and it’s the same for the US and here, durr.

PS What game? Get a life!

By: John Freeman

John Freeman — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 15:19:01 +0000

Oh and Crushinator, you just lost the game.

By: John Freeman

John Freeman — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 15:17:21 +0000

Oh sorry. I’m posting from my phone, it doesn’t like it’s, but I did write seperate right, unless my phone gave me the American version, besides, “it what seperate us and THEM…” doesn’t work grammatically.