spEak You're bRanes

Permanently Bewildered19 Jun 2009 02:35 pm

By Nelson

Thanks to John for this one from the “Points of View” messageboard. I can’t believe I didn’t know it existed.

Does this woman imagine that the only reason there are no centaurs around is because nobody’s fucking their horse these days?

I’ve been thinking about this and finally decided I MUST express my feelings on the ‘personal remarks’ Dr Alice Roberts made about Neanderthals in ‘The Incredible Journey – Europe’, first broadcast on 24th May and repeated in the early hours of yesterday morning.

Had she been making the comments about people of a different ethnic background to herself, they could have been regarded as racist.

I refer to how, when she was talking about the idea of Neanderthals and ‘modern’ humans interbreeding, she looked at a reconstruction of a head, depicting how a Neanderthal might have appeared, pulled a face, shook her head and dismissed the idea completely – “No, I don’t think so”, or something close to that, was her comment.

She also made disparaging remarks about how far apart their eyes were (no further apart than mine and other people’s from what I could see!) and other features.

Many so-called modern Europeans, myself included, possess various Neanderthal-like features to a greater or lesser degree and I felt she was, in turn, insulting those of us who have them by making these comments.
thecats’mother

Photo or STFU.

155 Responses to “Inter-species Gang Bang”

on 19 Jun 2009 at 2:56 pm offensive_mango

Wow, that is truly a post of beauty.
on 19 Jun 2009 at 2:56 pm Neil M

Oh, please please please let that one be read out of the TV show. Please.
on 19 Jun 2009 at 2:57 pm Daley Mayle

Proof – as if any were needed – that commenters on these sorts of things truly are a breed apart.
on 19 Jun 2009 at 2:59 pm dirigible

Many so-called modern Europeans, myself included, possess various Neanderthal-like features to a greater or lesser degree

Not the larger brains, though. Apparently.
on 19 Jun 2009 at 3:11 pm Bit Special

I can’t understand why we’re meant to be mocking this post. I too have a head, torso, limbs, skin, hair and facial features – just like the Neanderthals did! Which makes any disparaging comments about their appearance WORSE THAN THE FINAL SOLUTION.

Kudos to thecats’mother for getting her Neanderthal brain around how to work a computer. Next stop, learning how to punctuate. Or how not to be a mental.
on 19 Jun 2009 at 3:12 pm outragedofbelmarsh

As a spokesperson for the Neanderthal Anti-Defamation league, I would like to take this opportunity to disassociate ourselves from thecats’mother’s claims of neanderthal inheritance.
We get enough bad press as it is, without being bracketed with BBC HYS’ers.
on 19 Jun 2009 at 3:13 pm fucko the clown

hang on, if she is the cats mother, then she must herself have had a bit of feline cock in her time?

neandertal, more like liono from the thundercats.
on 19 Jun 2009 at 3:34 pm Emma

[blockquote]she looked at a reconstruction of a head, depicting how a Neanderthal might have appeared, pulled a face, shook her head and dismissed the idea completely – “No, I don’t think so”, or something close to that, was her comment.[/blockquote]

Alice Roberts is an Osteologist. She knows a crappy facial reconstruction when she sees one.
on 19 Jun 2009 at 3:37 pm Emma

Blockquote fail
on 19 Jun 2009 at 3:40 pm Bit Special

I went out with a guy once who had really Neanderthal features and his nickname was Lion-O (because that’s who he looked like). Although he was really good-looking, however improbable that sounds*.

Does this prove that Thundercats are the missing link between Neanderthals and modern humans? How cool would that be?!

*I might not be the best judge of male beauty. The Young Fella looks like Shaggy out of Scooby Doo**.
**I’ve just realised that I only go out with men who look like cult cartoon characters.
on 19 Jun 2009 at 3:53 pm john Adair's Gerbil

Your sort of attitude is why I hesitated posting; why is it that people find it acceptable to make fun of Neanderthals? (I know I’ll regret asking that!!!)

And yes, I was angry that she made remarks like that about members of the human race. It’s known as standing up for the underdog.

They’re all dead, Alice. Gone the way of the Dodo, but I see you don’t speak up for them.

That’s avaianistism in my book.
on 19 Jun 2009 at 3:54 pm Digger

Thus, we have established four things.

1) That thecats’mother is a monumental idiot with far too much time on her hands. (Yes, yes, I appreciate the irony.)

2) That thecats’mother probably isn’t blessed with pulchritude in the commonly accepted conventional sense. It’s likely that she possesses a heavy jaw, thick and low brow ridge and wiry hair. She has also, evidently, given birth to a cat and is a) a genetic freak b) a witch who has consorted with the devil or c) intimately acquainted with her pet feline.

3) A Bit Special prefers her menfolk to be two-dimensional and cel-shaded.

4) Dr Alice Roberts has fairly high standards when it comes to appreciating the male form.

Out. Of. My. League.

*sad face*
on 19 Jun 2009 at 4:02 pm Throbbe

On the plus side, my rodent like features, enormous ears and tendancy to hang around with ducks with severe speech impediments may mean I’m in with a crack at Ms Special if Shaggy messes up.
on 19 Jun 2009 at 4:17 pm Manly J. Panda

Bit Special – you are my friend Rebecca and your Young Fella is Sandy, and I claim my £10.

That or you are breaking up a happy home and you should be ashamed. Shame.
on 19 Jun 2009 at 4:27 pm Dr Feelgood

I’m excited by the fact that at least Dr Alice Roberts has excluded selecting one of another (extinct) species for breeding purposes. My chances have gone up ever soooo slightly.
on 19 Jun 2009 at 5:05 pm Alex

Personally, I reckon thecatsmother is just fucking ugly and unhappy about that; the thought of neanderthal inbreeding made her feel better, until ALICE ROBERTS RUINED IT, LIKE OMG, WHAT A BITCH
on 19 Jun 2009 at 5:15 pm Ug

I don’t see the problem; I’m a neandethal and I’d fuck Alice Roberts.
on 19 Jun 2009 at 5:19 pm tuscanyiscol

I’ve been thinking about this

no you haven’t.
on 19 Jun 2009 at 5:19 pm tuscanyiscol

DAM fucked up blockquotes.
on 19 Jun 2009 at 5:22 pm Bit Special

@Manly – sorry, but I’m not this Rebecca you speak of (nor is TYF called Sandy). But clearly Shaggy is a look women really go for. Much hilarity was had last weekend when The Young Fella put on a v-neck green t-shirt and some scruffy brown trousers without thinking.

@Throbbe – sorry, but I prefer my men to at least resemble human characters. I’ve got to have SOME standards! Though I appreciate your respectful usage of ‘Ms’.

thecats’mother could be male – he/she could’ve just thought it was hilarious to choose a name based on a dreary saying.

Wish someone would make a tv show where HYS mentals and their ilk could voice their bonkers grievances and hurts to the experts who have so crossed them and then fight it out to get ‘closure’. But make it light-hearted, like ‘It’s a Knockout’. Stuart Hall is still alive and available for work. DO YOU HEAR ME, BBC EXECS? MAKE IT SO!
on 19 Jun 2009 at 8:20 pm TFH

so-called modern Europeans

Doesn’t not being dead 30,000 years ago and living in Europe qualify us as actual modern Europeans? What is it with these people and their incessant so calling?
on 19 Jun 2009 at 9:05 pm David San

posted by egrvdf

So what happened in the Euro elections in Albert Square? It used to be NuLaber territory with all the people holding professional jobs or going off to “uni” being ethnic minority folk. But I wonder if the white working class characters have noticed they’re all thick and useless and never get to mention Einstein or Shakespeare or to move up in society, and certainly never go to “uni”, and might be turning to the bnp! What were the results? We have a right to be told!

http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/mbpointsofview/F1951566?thread=6672697
on 19 Jun 2009 at 10:11 pm Bit Special

After seeing himself outed as a Shaggy-alike, TYF has insisted that I point out that I closely resemble Scrappy-Do (in all ways).
on 19 Jun 2009 at 10:11 pm Bit Special

Or even Scrappy-Doo.
on 19 Jun 2009 at 10:28 pm Dr Feelgood

Where do we draw the line people?

If thecats’mother is happy to fuck Homo Neanderthalensis, why stop there? Why not Homo Heidelbergensis, or making the old two-backed beast with an Australopithecine…

Maybe she has a pet chimpanzee, sorry, animal companion, well more of a soul mate really – “What’s that Cheeta? Want a special tickle from mummy?”
on 19 Jun 2009 at 10:50 pm Simon

I refer to how, when she was talking about the idea of Neanderthals and ‘modern’ humans interbreeding, she looked at a reconstruction of a head, depicting how a Neanderthal might have appeared, pulled a face, shook her head and dismissed the idea completely – “No, I don’t think so”, or something close to that, was her comment.

I present you exhibit A: http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/40778000/jpg/_40778150_keown203x270.jpg
on 20 Jun 2009 at 2:53 am Theodore

I was in the pub last week and a group of lads were sitting by the fireplace in the saloon bar, pointing at a magazine and laughing. I was intrigued so I sidled over (I chose not to saunter on this occassion) and found that they were mocking a reconstruction of a female homo habilis in a Geographical publication.

I hope society isn’t developing a nasty trait of mocking the sexuality of our antecendants.
on 20 Jun 2009 at 11:45 am Gobbler the Oral Sex Neanderthal Alsatian

Woof woof woof
Slurp slurp slurp
Extinct extinct extinct
on 20 Jun 2009 at 11:47 am Hitler's non-Neanderthal penis

Can I point out that Neanderthal is just a short and pleasant train-ride out of Duesseldorf? Nice museum and cafe. Go visit, we’re friendly nowadays.
on 20 Jun 2009 at 11:50 am Gobbler the Oral Sex Alsatian

@bit special:

but I prefer my men to at least resemble human characters

Woof?
Woof woof?
Wooooooooooooooooooof???
on 20 Jun 2009 at 12:38 pm Modern Homo Sapien

Bloody Neanderthals.They should send em all back in time to prehistory where they came from.
on 21 Jun 2009 at 1:24 am The Doctor

Yes sorry about that – all sorted now. Mind you, had a hell of a time getting thecat’smother back into the Tardis.

And Gobbler, I know you want a bit part in the next series, but frankly it’s before the watershed so we’re going to stick with K9. Perhaps Captain Jack might have an opening for you though?
on 21 Jun 2009 at 10:16 am Finbarr Saunders

Fnarr Fnarr!
on 22 Jun 2009 at 10:41 am Living-off-your-license-fee

Neanderthaals have been commonly regarded to be a different sub-species, not a different species, from modern humans. The centaur comment is pretty stupid. We don’t know if cro-magnon man and Neanderthaal man were interfertile, but there are at least as many biologists who think they might have been as who think they probably weren’t. It’s not remotely comparable to humans and horses.
on 22 Jun 2009 at 10:47 am Digger

After seeing himself outed as a Shaggy-alike, TYF has insisted that I point out that I closely resemble Scrappy-Do (in all ways).

What? In that you were hastily tacked onto a failing franchise as a last ditch, and largely futile, attempt to stay “down with the kids”.

Or is Shaggy being ungallant and comparing your looks to that of a minature Great Dane?

Or is it just that you have a really massive head and a tiny body?

Your worried public need to know.
on 22 Jun 2009 at 12:42 pm Bit Special

@Digger – none of those things (I hope), but because I am really small but arsey. Just as everyone found Scrappy-Doo’s battle-ready tenacity merely adorable instead of taking it seriously, the world metaphorically – and sometimes literally – pats me on the head for being a girly-looking titch*, ignoring the reality of my dour, sneering, bad-tempered misanthropy (undoubtedly the result of the former). Grrrrr. Lemme at ‘em… Lemme at ‘em!

*I also have a girlishly high-pitched voice. When I’m hassling jobsworths about shit over the phone (one of my favourite pastimes), I am perpetually asked ‘Can I speak to your Dad?’. FUME.
on 22 Jun 2009 at 2:10 pm Framlington

I like a bit of Neanderthall. But I’m not keen on the strawberry bit. It doesn’t really go with chocolate and vanilla.
on 22 Jun 2009 at 2:12 pm Mr Cat

First they came for the Neanderthals.
And I did not speak out
Because I thought they were ugly.
on 22 Jun 2009 at 2:23 pm Dad

@Bit Special

Alright, darling. Let the adults talk.
on 22 Jun 2009 at 2:24 pm Rotwatcher

@Bit Special

Just as everyone found Scrappy-Doo’s battle-ready tenacity merely adorable

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but round our way “everyone” found Scrappy Doo a cynical, character-free, witless bolt-on to a failing franchise that added nothing to the sum of human happiness. Now honestly, does that sound like you?
on 22 Jun 2009 at 3:16 pm liberal intelligentsia

Neanderthaals have been commonly regarded to be a different sub-species, not a different species, from modern humans.

Your reasoning will be lost on the average HYS Neanderthal (not human) who claims to live in England (not UK).
on 22 Jun 2009 at 4:21 pm Ceannair

Good to see that HYS is not the only recepticle for twatbasketweaving.

I give you a debate on ballet from Sky.

————————–

For ballet ever to reach it’s true heights of popularity, it should be performed in complete freedom as nature intended ( unclothed ) where one can truely appreciate movement, the utter beauty, the wonder of the human form. Yet even attempting such freedom of expression would have the christian brigade out in the streets in tens of thousands, waving their banners crying (CHILD ABUSE). Centuries of christian teaching, that all are the product of sin, the flesh be evil, such halfbaked nonsense in having brought great a burden upon humanity, where beauty taught / portrayed being evil.

Posted By :william wallace
—————————

PEEEEDO
on 22 Jun 2009 at 5:01 pm tuscanyiscol

[blockquote] fja
on 22 Jun 2009 at 5:03 pm tuscanyiscol

@ finbarr Saunders, wtf??
on 22 Jun 2009 at 5:45 pm Bit Special

@Rotwatcher – by ‘Just as everyone found Scrappy-Doo’s battle-ready tenacity merely adorable’ I meant that within the cartoon itself other characters didn’t take him seriously and lovingly patronised him (as far as I can remember). The character of Scrappy-Doo was indeed a desperate shark-jumping addition to the gang and an all-round twat.

Unlike me (hopefully). It’s just a joke implying I am a bad-tempered short-arse, ’tis all.

@ tuscanyiscol – have you never heard of Finbarr Saunders? For shame!

@ Dad – goooo aaawaaaay! Christ, this is more embarrassing than the time you turned up to drive me home from the village hall disco and you were wearing your pyjamas and shouted ‘Daddy’s here!’ above the music.

I was 29 at the time. Badum tsssh!
on 22 Jun 2009 at 9:10 pm SuperCraggs, Comrade Brown's Lie-berial la la land

Catsmother : Post Tits or GTFO.
on 23 Jun 2009 at 10:47 am Dr Feelgood

Back on topic…

I used to think ‘I Love Lucy’ was a 1950s sitcom, rather than a category of er ‘adult entertainment’… really quite shocked!
on 23 Jun 2009 at 12:42 pm Oaf

Where do we draw the line people?

I think they’re called stick people.

And on a piece of paper would be fine.
on 23 Jun 2009 at 12:44 pm Oaf

,blockquote>Christ, this is more embarrassing than the time you turned up to drive me home from the village hall disco and you were wearing your pyjamas

I must remember this. In a few years time my kids will probably want to be picked up from dicotheques and box socials and the like.
on 23 Jun 2009 at 12:45 pm Oaf

Bloody buggery blockquotery!
on 23 Jun 2009 at 12:49 pm Hmmmm

Sorry, but couldn’t she have been taking the piss? I read it and though, she’s pulling your plonker.
on 23 Jun 2009 at 5:17 pm pigfrottage

Dr Feelgood rules this one…
on 24 Jun 2009 at 4:54 am ed

I think they’re called stick people.

best comment all day. i had to go and buy a cup of tea and bring it back to my laptop in order to do the obligatory keyboard-snorting.
on 24 Jun 2009 at 8:49 am Rogue_Leader

Many so-called modern Europeans, myself included, possess various Neanderthal-like features

No…too…easy…must…desist…
on 24 Jun 2009 at 9:50 am Dr Feelgood

I think they’re called stick people.

Listen, Oaf, on my cave wall we draw line people, alright? Want to make something of it?

Now, where’s that ass’s jaw bone? I might have invented a new use for it…
on 24 Jun 2009 at 12:24 pm L S Lowry

You’re all wrong. They are called match stick men. I should know, I invented them.
on 24 Jun 2009 at 1:25 pm Mr Swann

@L S Lowry

NO you didn’t.
on 24 Jun 2009 at 2:30 pm Mike Oldfield's Tubular Balls

Explicit sexual come-on to thecats’mother:

Fluggugh! Blach! Doch! Mnguwab!

Oh bother that was Piltdown Man. But hey, who’s counting? Piltdown Schmiltdown. Neandertal, er, Schmeanderthal. I bet she’s up for it anyway.
on 25 Jun 2009 at 11:52 pm Bit Special

Michael Jackson has died (and Farrah Fawcett). FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WILL YOU TRAWL HYS AS SOON AS IS HUMANLY POSSIBLE, NELSON/ALEX/ETC.? I think we all know how *amazing* the comments are going to be… we can expect twatbasketry on a level we could previously only have dreamed of.
on 25 Jun 2009 at 11:54 pm Bit Special

And by dreamed, I mean tormented by hellish, feverish nightmares.

Boo hoo, the tiresome, formulaic, paedo has-been has karked it and I’m going to have to go into hiding till the fuss dies down because I won’t be able to keep my gob shut when everyone’s going on about his *genius*.
on 26 Jun 2009 at 1:57 am Uncle Max

Is this an actual verified sighting of that mythical beast “Political correctness gone mad”?
on 26 Jun 2009 at 2:35 am Nick

I already had a look at the first comments coming in about Michael Jackson.

You’re not wrong Bit Special, but you’re going to have to invent a new word. Twatbasketry just doesn’t seem strong enough.
on 26 Jun 2009 at 7:41 am Grov-R

?

justme

Recommended by 22 people

Best comment in the Peter Pan thread.
on 26 Jun 2009 at 8:45 am Alex

“You’re not wrong Bit Special, but you’re going to have to invent a new word. Twatbasketry just doesn’t seem strong enough.”

Your not wrong, never have i seen a full array of comments that you would normally expect from an obituary thread but written so pompously or displaying such a previously unknown zenith of twatbasketry. “Iv never heard of him” posts as far as the eye can see dear children.
on 26 Jun 2009 at 8:48 am Ceannair

I agree – twatbasket just doesn’t cut this one.

We need a much bigger word for these cretins.

“?” WTF ????
on 26 Jun 2009 at 9:12 am Oaf

Michael Jackson has died

No. It’s just an OTT way of getting out of his O2 concerts. He’ll be back in a few months.
on 26 Jun 2009 at 9:24 am Lucie

jackson…. where u hidden … plz return…

10 . 9 . 8 . 7 . 6 . 5 . 4 . 3 . 2 . 1
Coming – ready or not
on 26 Jun 2009 at 10:07 am chelsea

tiresome, formulaic, paedo has-been

Nah, he was an angle.
on 26 Jun 2009 at 10:22 am Tomsk

king of pop, prince of hearts, rip jacko xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
on 26 Jun 2009 at 10:36 am Bit Special

You’re all right, ‘twatbasketry’ IS woefully inadequate, but it was late and I was a bit overwhelmed by the thought of what *precious* HYS bounty Jacko’s demise would bring. And how right I was!

How pissed off do you think Farrah Fawcett’s ghost is right now?
on 26 Jun 2009 at 10:39 am Bit Special

Also, could I make money on a bet that The Sun et al will be working in some Princess Diana-Jacko-in-heaven-together angle in the coming days, or is it too much of a given? I’ve never placed a bet before, but it seems a winner.
on 26 Jun 2009 at 10:57 am Ceannair

Bit (if I be so bold as to call you Bit? “Ms Special” if not”)

Given his marriage to the fragrant Lisa Marie, I’m going with an Elvis link somewhere.

“King of Pop” meets “King of Rock n Roll”.

Who knows ?
on 26 Jun 2009 at 11:00 am Hissy Fitt

I was amused to see that some of most recommended comments are anti-Jacko. Perhaps this is because the usual idiots who post on HYS can’t find a way to crowbar in their usual gripes about ZA NU-LIARBORE, or their new favourite stock comment: “If this had happened in Iran we would be up in arms, but we allow it to happen here without complaint”
on 26 Jun 2009 at 11:54 am Throbbe

micheal jackson you are the best
we will always remember you while you rest
your video’s music and soul will go on
exploring the world as your days move on
we will always know when you are near
for every time we shed a tear
R.I.P micheal jackson
we love you and miss you already
Rio Hine & Hollie Bendall

No comment needed.
on 26 Jun 2009 at 11:59 am Lell

Micheal Jackson……

He was the peoples’ peado.
on 26 Jun 2009 at 12:03 pm Daley Mayle

‘People’s paedo’ – classic.
on 26 Jun 2009 at 12:14 pm alt-f4

How pissed off do you think Farrah Fawcett’s ghost is right now?

Spinning in her grave most likely. Best opportunity to revive her career since Lee Majors gave her the elbow, only to have it usurped by an “ethnic”.
on 26 Jun 2009 at 12:15 pm Mr Poo

I daren’t enter the hell of Jackson-themed HYS. On the one hand, you have opportunites for “rot in hell, paedo”, “rot in hell, nignog”, and “rot in hell, peadonignog”, but on the other hand, Diana PRINESSOFOURHARTS liked him.

Also

WATCH YOUR BACK BABY P
on 26 Jun 2009 at 12:18 pm Mr Poo

Okay, I lied. I couldn’t resist it. And to counter HissyFit’s claim that there is no way the HYS lot could get Iran/NuLiarBore in, I give you:

I don’t care. And I don’t care for the re-writing of history that is taking place here. He hasn’t made a good record since “Off The Wall” and the title of ‘King of Pop’ was one he gave himself during an album marketingyscheme. He is as prime example of what can go wrong in the fantasy world of showbiz, what is even more disturbing is the number of people on this message board who seem to have bought into all the self-righteous messianic nonsense. Meanwhile in Iran real heroes are on the streets

Darren Cook, Plymouth

Recommended by 120 people
on 26 Jun 2009 at 12:20 pm Clovis Sangrail

On the radio I heard, I swear I heard, an announcer say that Farrah Fawcett died of “canal cancer” – pronounced ‘canal’ as in tow path. But then Jacko died and with it, the laughter – sigh-
on 26 Jun 2009 at 12:39 pm alt-f4

Meanwhile in Iran real heroes are on the streets

He’s referring to “The Butcher of Beirut”, now recast as a “moderate democrat”. His involvement in the destruction of the US Marine barracks during the Lebanese civil war is not to be mentioned. Michael Jackson was going to write a song about this….
on 26 Jun 2009 at 1:06 pm Red Andy

I feel slightly ashamed to admit that when I heard that Michael Jackson had died, one of my first thoughts was how the dribbling multitudes of HYSers would respond, given their love of grief athletics set against their hatred of paedos.

I see they have exceeded expectations once again.
on 26 Jun 2009 at 1:10 pm Ellie

From the Times:

Michael Jackson epitomized music and dance, and epitomized a loving father and a love for children. The UK HMCS family courts could learn from Michael, namely that a man being with a child is not a vile act as viewed by the police and the courts, but as Michael said ”very loving.”

Jack Smith, Londonn, UK

An interesting take on the whole “paedo/grief athlete” issue.
on 26 Jun 2009 at 1:23 pm billyo

I can’t help but think that the media circus wouldn’t have been this great had a black popstar died.
on 26 Jun 2009 at 1:38 pm Ceannair

Just got a message from a mate.

They have a transcript of the 911 tape and they have Michael Jackson’s last dying words on tape.

Paramedic: Does it hurt sir ?

MJ: Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

So sorry, coat is being got.
on 26 Jun 2009 at 1:40 pm fucko the clown

they said he will be buried at sea, between 2 bouys.
on 26 Jun 2009 at 1:58 pm dom Kaos

Damn Sickipedia has been showing the message “Database latency too high” for at least the last three hours – those jokes had better be blimmin’ good when I finally get a chance to look at it…
on 26 Jun 2009 at 2:00 pm (Another) Ellie

This is my favourite so far just for its utter needlessness.

I was never any great fan, but I’m sorry to hear about this sudden death. 50 is no great age these days.
I was so surprised, all I could say was “Blimey!”

Daniel, Kent, UK
on 26 Jun 2009 at 2:04 pm Lucie

WATCH YOUR BACK BABY P

*snort*
on 26 Jun 2009 at 2:06 pm My Foot Hurts.

“don’t know what to say?

Nixon Tandukar, Nepal”

How about ‘Blimey?’
on 26 Jun 2009 at 2:08 pm My Foot Hurts.

“if its true that Michael Jackson probably died from perscription drugs then it sounds very similar to another legend that probably died from perscription drugs, Elvis

Garry, Bedford”

Those damned perscription drugs. They’ll get you every time. Probably.
on 26 Jun 2009 at 3:03 pm Lucie

From the Farah Fawcett outpourings:

Fondly remembered by young guys growing up in the seventies.

Jacques B, United Kingdom

Recommended by 27 people

This translates; me and my mates used to have group wanking sessions over her pics
on 26 Jun 2009 at 3:20 pm john Adair's Gerbil

I may have done a baaaad thing on HYS…
on 26 Jun 2009 at 3:22 pm That Bloke in the Corner

I here Jacko didn’t die of a heart attack, as he was seen on the children’s ward having a stroke
sorry, after reading HYS since seven this morning, the smile on my face is now actually hurting. This has to be the marathon of grief athletes.
on 26 Jun 2009 at 3:22 pm Ceannair

Come on – spill!
on 26 Jun 2009 at 3:24 pm That Bloke in the Corner

Please Mr john Adair’s Gerbil do tell
on 26 Jun 2009 at 3:26 pm Lucie

@gerbil – prey tell
on 26 Jun 2009 at 3:32 pm That Bloke in the Corner

@gerbil
if this was you-well done

I will always remember Jackson as a man who, quite literally, cut off his nose to spite his face.

michael swann, Thurso, United Kingdom
on 26 Jun 2009 at 3:36 pm poor effort

After searching Michael Jackson’s house Police are reported to have discovered Class A drugs in his living room, Class B drugs in his kitchen and Class 4C in his bedroom.
on 26 Jun 2009 at 3:37 pm Lucie

I will always remember jackson as a man who, quite literally, cut off his nose to spite his face

Genius!
on 26 Jun 2009 at 3:39 pm john Adair's Gerbil

It’s still in the mod queue.

Free tour of jon Adair’s lower colon if anyone spots it.
on 26 Jun 2009 at 3:41 pm That Bloke in the Corner

Top grief athlete in my book and appropriately named as well.

Oh Michael, how many times have I kissed your picture on my bedroom wall, how many times have I dreamt of you and me going out together (i was 12 at the time). Michael your music inspired us all, and I was lucky enough to see you 3 times in concert! I remember the first time like yesterday. You played at the free Trade Hall in Manchester, brilliant!!! You have left a legacy behind which no one past or future can touch. Rest in peace Michael Jackson for you a star amongst stars.

carol childs, london
on 26 Jun 2009 at 4:04 pm Dr Feelgood

I really can’t take much more of this Jackson crap.

I doubt very many of the HYS fuckwits gave this infantile pervert warbler more than a second’s thought until they heard he’d been snuffed by his doctor.

Oh God, is it booze o’clock yet?
on 26 Jun 2009 at 4:10 pm db

there is a debate somewhere on facebook going on, someone wrote “MJ’s death is worse than 9/11 – discuss”

someone piped up with the vaild point that there were no celebrities who perished in 9/11, so it must be true. outstanding
on 26 Jun 2009 at 4:28 pm Mr Galbraith

Can I copyright the phrase, “Gary Glitter with better tunes and lawyers”?
on 26 Jun 2009 at 4:30 pm Malcolm Armsteen

“michael RIP, your music will ,life for a long time ,
thank you for music,you will be missed

mick, chatham ”

Mick, you are a dead duck’s dangler.
on 26 Jun 2009 at 4:56 pm Simon

if u want a break from jacko, i found this on the points of view msgboards. classic BBC = liberal brainwash commintern. nice slanging match develops

http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/mbpointsofview/F1951566?thread=6678740&skip=0&show=20
on 26 Jun 2009 at 5:04 pm Simon

JACKO WON’T BE BACKO

Mary, London

Recommended by 162 people
=================================

one hundred and sixty-two people?!?!
on 26 Jun 2009 at 5:21 pm Bit Special

I just nearly choked to death on a cashew laughing at Michael Swann’s comment. I hope J A’s Gerbil can top it. But not by killing me, obviously.

@Ceannair (& the rest of yers) – Spesh/Speshy if I’m in a good mood, Ms Special if not.
on 26 Jun 2009 at 5:40 pm Dr Feelgood

This says it all really:
http://yfrog.com/46famousip
on 26 Jun 2009 at 6:05 pm That Bloke in the corner

@gerbil,
you win,there are too many of the rubber helmeted fuckmonkeys on there that I cannot find your bad comment(or it was just so baaaaddd the communist Zanu-nulairbore bbc have modded it). I shall have to think of something better to do than touring J.A’s lower colon, I know I shall leave my memory of michael jackson in a suitable receptical and flush it.
on 26 Jun 2009 at 7:22 pm Manly J. Panda

It seems that doctors have ruled out exposure to sunshine and moonlight as the triggers for MIchael Jackson’s heart attack. Good times are similarly unlikely to have brought it on. According to them, the most likely cause of death is boogie.
on 26 Jun 2009 at 7:46 pm First Past the Post

Farrah Fawcett was given a wish as she passed into heaven “Keep the children safe”
on 26 Jun 2009 at 8:08 pm dom Kaos

Gerbil’s comment was added on Friday, 26 June, 2009, 13:56 GMT 14:56 UK – currently recommended by 31 people. Good work that man – when does the guided tour start?
on 26 Jun 2009 at 8:40 pm Ed

@dom Kaos

Linkit linkit linkit.
on 26 Jun 2009 at 8:41 pm john Adair's Gerbil

No, that’s not me, still in the mod queue. Bet I’m being censored, it’s like 1984 all over again.

Though I have spotted

I may only be twelve years old but Michael has really touched
my heart and I will never forget him as he was my my favourite artist so RIP Michael Jackson as I and all people will nver forget you!

Ribena, Sunderland

Ribena? Ribena

Who on earth names their kid after a soft drink?

Yours,

Carlsberg Special Brew.
on 26 Jun 2009 at 9:06 pm dom Kaos

What? oh sorry, it’s here:
http://newsforums.bbc.co.uk/nol/profile.jspa?userID=15715730&edition=1&ttl=20090626210252

Did that work?
on 26 Jun 2009 at 9:10 pm dom Kaos

Oh, sorry – actually, if you want to see it in among all the dross, it’s here:
http://newsforums.bbc.co.uk/nol/thread.jspa?messageID=6375730&edition=1&ttl=20090626210252&start=435&#6375730
I really should have done this before I opened the wine…
on 26 Jun 2009 at 9:49 pm forrin

Shocked! i rushed to gather all my collection of his…. i didn’t want to loose them either….

Aser, Pune, IND

CDs don’t die with the artist, retard.
on 26 Jun 2009 at 11:30 pm That Bloke in the corner

We return this gentlest of souls back to his maker.

Hersh, Lansing

does this mean he is out with the pop bottles waiting for recycling?
on 27 Jun 2009 at 10:55 am Dipshit

I’m confused. Does this mean when Gary Glitter dies he will be remembered as a musical genius and tragically missed around the world in a luxurious, Diana-style, grief-fest?

Or is GG still a hideous slavering peado because the cheap shit couldn’t afford the world’s best lawyers and doesn’t deserve our pity?
on 27 Jun 2009 at 11:00 am Wally Arkwright

I wouldn’t say he was my favourite singer, but he was an immensely talented man, bursting with ideas, shrewd business sense, and, in my opinion… blah blah blah.

[Martin1983], London, United Kingdom

If you die $500,000,000 in debt, is that shrewed business sense? I honestly can’t decide.
on 27 Jun 2009 at 12:05 pm Grov

Princess Diana-Jacko-in-heaven-together

What a team they’d make! He could traumatise them, and she could establish a rehabilitation center for them to recover, ready to be traumatised all over again.

On a serious note though, Michael, you will be missed. Rest in peace, you’re in heaven now, molesting cherubim.
on 27 Jun 2009 at 1:10 pm A tragically inadequate Jackson Fan

I love him since i was 3 !!! Words are not enought. He is in all my memories my mother telling me about how i was watching his Thriller video without a twinkle and she’s saying that you were holding your breath. İn junior school everybody was know how much i love him. I couldn’t catch the concert that he gave in here İstanbul i wish i could . . . He lived a lonely life and he didn’t deserve it but i know deep down inside he always knew that hundreds of thousands people will always loved him . .

Hande Aydemir, Istanbul, Turkey

only three years old and Jackson took his twinkle. Fucking shocking.
on 27 Jun 2009 at 2:07 pm Dr Feelgood

Video ‘tribute’ to the dead paedo (NSFW):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tVACUjHn6yU
on 27 Jun 2009 at 2:26 pm Clovis Sangrail

“i didn’t want to loose them either….”
Sorry. going to have a little rant here amongst all the wonderful Jacko comments – but why (and indeed, oh why) can so many people not tell the fkn difference between ‘lose’ and ‘loose’. They’re two DIFFERENT words pronounced in two DIFFERENT ways. The inability to tell the difference ranks high in my twatbasket identification criteria(yeah, I have a list, OK?).
on 27 Jun 2009 at 3:38 pm Bit Special

@Clovis: you appear to have your priorities in life sorted correctly. Do you approve of my habit of taking pictures of punctuation, spelling and grammatical errors with my camera-phone everywhere I go?
on 27 Jun 2009 at 3:39 pm Oaf

I like this one:

You can say what you want about Michael, but he was always there for the kids.

Daniel, Bradford

Recommended by 3 people
on 27 Jun 2009 at 3:42 pm Oaf

Agreed. Death penalty for all improper use of loose/lose, effect/affect, alot,/allot/a lot and any apostrophe in the wrong place.

Well, perhaps not the death penalty, but something similar. Maybe a 2p fine.
on 27 Jun 2009 at 3:43 pm Oaf

Oops. Where do I send my 2p?
on 28 Jun 2009 at 11:55 am Wally Arkwright

@Clovis

A big irritation for me is the habit of organising life’s experiences into lists. (Top 5 shags. 50 films to see before you die. 10 most irritating spelling mistakes. 100 funniest sketches. etc.) It implies that everything in life can be quantified and organised into distinct levels of merit, which I don’t believe they can, or should. In fact, assigning false numerical values to non-numerical experiences is my number one pet hate to be honest.
on 28 Jun 2009 at 12:21 pm Ugg

Many so-called modern Europeans, myself included, possess various Neanderthal-like features to a greater or lesser degree and I felt she was, in turn, insulting those of us who have them by making these comments.
thecats’mother

Ugg! Ugg Ugg! Urrrhhhh!!! Ugg Uggg Urrr Ugg Ugg! Urghrgrh Ugg Ugg! Huhh Urgrgg Ugg Ugg! Huurrrh Ugg Urggrgg Ugg! LOL.
on 28 Jun 2009 at 12:44 pm Tim, England not Wales

@Wally Arkwright

I agree 110%. That is without a doubt one of top 10 most thought provoking blog comments I’ve ever seen.
on 28 Jun 2009 at 12:47 pm Tim, England not Wales

“I’m suprised that a comment like this was published. I find it ghastly and out of context to the debate.

Shirlena, London”

Will we ever know what comment that was referring to?
on 28 Jun 2009 at 1:32 pm Clovis Sangrail

Spesh – I FULLY approve. Do you then, in idle moments, look at the photos and growl exasperatedly to yourself all over again?
on 28 Jun 2009 at 3:54 pm dom Kaos

@Tim – surely it’s a paradoxically self-referential comment, sort of a post-post-modern version of “this is a lie”? No?
on 29 Jun 2009 at 6:15 pm Dolly's evil nemesis

Do you approve of my habit of taking pictures of punctuation, spelling and grammatical errors with my camera-phone everywhere I go?

Oh dear that’s completely sick and worrying – erm, you’re not actually me are you?
on 29 Jun 2009 at 7:00 pm Dolly's evil nemesis

All those hours spent in that clean air thing didnt do much good after all.

Haaaa ha aha ah ha oh dear oh dear. (Dries eyes.) Genius, pure genius. The BBC (bunch of leftists if you ask me) should take the 100 most brilliant MJ comments from HYS (but, my word, choosing them would be difficult) and inscribe them on a giant inflatable chimp to be moored permanently above Trafalgar Square. The whole work would be entitled “MJ – we’ve Had our Say” (you couldn’t make it up)” and tourists would flock from as far afield as Arnos Grove to gaze with wonder upon the brilliance of these utterances. Erm, and the chimp (blimp) of course. Yes. _*IF*_ I’m right.
on 29 Jun 2009 at 7:04 pm Dolly's evil nemesis

It’s sad when someone dies, but honestly, this man hasn’t produced anything of note in 20 years.

Of NOTE geddit? NOTE?? Like, like MUSICAL NOTES??? (Plays short comedy[1] trombone solo and walks off.)

—
[1] Mind you, they all are of course.
on 29 Jun 2009 at 10:26 pm Dr Feelgood

Dear, oh dear. There are some sad fuckers out there (if true):
Grieving Jackson Fans ‘Commit Suicide’
on 29 Jun 2009 at 10:56 pm Bit Special

@Clovis – you know full well I do.
on 29 Jun 2009 at 11:41 pm Hitler's penis

Oh good grief. I mean blimey. The whole thing.
on 29 Jun 2009 at 11:44 pm Gobbler the Oral Sex Alsatian

woof woof woof
slurp slurp slurp
Its close to midnight and something evil’s lurking in the dark
woof woof woof woof woof WOOF!
on 30 Jun 2009 at 12:43 am Chelsea

This intaspeshies gang bang thingemy’s gettin a bit boring now.

*yorn*
on 30 Jun 2009 at 9:40 am Dolly's evil nemesis

@Gobbler: BAD BAD DOG! Learn your correct apostrophe usage or it’s the Special Vet Visit for you.

/ break, break /

@Chelsea: Yes, PLEASE Nelson start a new topic. Has any celebrity died recently, or anything? I was thinking there might be a bit of fun in that, perhaps. Just a thought.
on 30 Jun 2009 at 10:07 am Mim

I notice non-standard spelling and grammar and very carefully remind myself that they are not actually criminal or unethical and that my objection to them is merely aesthetic. I am fairly sure that this makes me insufferable.

It would be exciting if there could be a new post some time. It is taking quite a long time to scroll to the bottom of this one.
on 30 Jun 2009 at 10:55 am Chelsea

Bollox. Nothing wrong with non-standard spelling and grammer. Being a pendants’ far worse.
on 30 Jun 2009 at 11:15 am Grov

Ms Special is a vet?
on 30 Jun 2009 at 11:22 am Always a first time

Since there have been no new posts since last week are we safe to assume that Nelson and Alex are (or were to be more correct) in fact Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson? I think we should be told…
on 30 Jun 2009 at 11:43 am Wally Arkwright

I think it is more likely that Nelson was the President of Honduras and is currently preoccupied with scrabbling his way back in to power. SYB has the unmistakable whiff of a banana-republic dictator’s pet project. After a hard day torturing journalists, shooting human rights lawyers and raping the pretty left-wing students, every tyrant needs to relax. SYB is a despot’s hobby. It’s for taunting western liberals with the blatant evidence of the impossibility of democracy. “These comments were written by your electorate; look, weep and despair.” (followed by lots of Mwah hah hah obviously)
on 30 Jun 2009 at 11:58 am pigfrottage

I suspect Nelson and Alex are on holiday or watching the tennis, or embroiled in a life and death struggle with somehting unpleasant. Or working, which would be far less cool.
on 30 Jun 2009 at 11:59 am pigfrottage

Arrrhgh! I spelled “something” wrong!!!!

Disaster. Be merciful, Spesh!
on 30 Jun 2009 at 1:00 pm Chelsea

And there’s been no Kelvin since Ali bongo died.
on 30 Jun 2009 at 1:01 pm RadiatorLizard

Just to derail the derailment of this thread in a Shandyesque fashion…

Dr Feelgood said:

I used to think ‘I Love Lucy’ was a 1950s sitcom, rather than a category of er ‘adult entertainment’… really quite shocked!

Ha! I demand that someone makes this programme immediately (I’m assuming there are at least a few Nathan Barley media types reading this.) The adventures of a 4 ft tall hominid housewife and her marriage to a Cuban band leader would be ratings gold. And as Dr Feelgood notes, there could be a ‘Nights’ version.

Otherwise I’ll be forced to imagine it and I’m not sure my reputation could take another half hour per week giggling in the corner with my eyes closed. People are suspicious enough when I ‘watch’ Han & Lando: the College Years.
on 30 Jun 2009 at 6:09 pm Bit Special

@Grov – a vet? Huh? No.

@pigfrottage – Jebus AND basic errors? You’re on your first warning, Sonny Jim.

@Chelsea – yeah, pendants are shit. Pedants, on the other hand, ROCK!

Muahaha, and so forth.

"If you love Afghanistan so much..
why don't you go live there?"

155 Responses to “Inter-species Gang Bang”

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spEak You're bRanes

"If you love Afghanistan so much.. why don't you go live there?"

155 Responses to “Inter-species Gang Bang”

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"If you love Afghanistan so much..
why don't you go live there?"