Thanks to Ste for finding the artificial sperm discussion. I say ‘discussion’, I imagine it’s some kind of Oulipo project to write a paranoid sapphic version of Brave New World in 500 characters without using punctuation, lower-case letters, intelligence or modesty.
“Scientists claim to have created…; “…the creation of…”; “… have been created…”. So Newton was wrong all along! Who’d have guessed?
Jean Manuforti, London
Sorry Jean, I’m baffled. You might need a few more words.
Dear Scientist:
Please Stop cloning sheep, we have loads of them. Please stop putting fish genes in out tomatoes. Please stop messing with human sperm, we have loads of humans. Please cure Cancer and HIV and Swine Flu.
Thanks,The human race.
Chicken Little
And how do you expect Scientist to make this cure for Cancer and HIV and Swine Flu? Don’t forget there’s a global shortage of papier-maché and lolly-sticks at the moment.
Having seen some of the women in my town, waddling around in their summer attire I say bring it on. The idea of donating my sperm to any one of them makes me shiver like a Raspberry jelly. Let’s face it, this will be news, as important as the second coming, (pun intended) to lesbians around the world. We, (mankind), seem hell bent on self destruction, and this is just another nail in the coffin. I could see this as being useful only if a comet struck, or disease came making all men sterile.
Worry Wort, Sheffield, United Kingdom
Don’t worry, Wort. There’ll always be a place for your greasy seed. In that grey sock you keep under the bed.
Does it have a microchip? I mean surely we need human microchips now. Oh! maybe it has microwires? Can it be plugged in to a computer? Well at least it’s another grand step in the right direction of continued control.
tiny bin, Arun District, United Kingdom
We’ve gone over this before. You remember when you got ketchup on your shirt, and you said it meant the government was putting shirts in the ketchup, but then the shirt was much too big to fit in the sachet? Well, it’s the same with the spunk on your keyboard.
I am afraid this is not a record.
I developed sperm in a laboratory over forty years ago and I was assured at the time that I was not the first….
Clogged My Pops, Big Town
Astounding! I think your next big research project should aim to find the difference between “developed” and “leaked”.