Thanks to Ben for pointing me at this thoughtful and informative analysis of the recent European elections. Do I mean thanks to Ben? Or do I mean “Christ on a bike Ben, what the fuck did I do to you?”
The BNP won seats because people are fed up with this government changing the population of this country without asking anyone. That is what ultimately has destroyed the Labour Party.
harry portsmouth
I have to admit I agree with you there. It’s so annoying when you’re sat down with a nice cup of milky tea and some marmite on toast to watch the cricket, and suddenly you’re Norwegian and can’t enjoy any of it. Bloody Marxists.
“I’m truly sickened that the BNP have now got seats. Is this what my grandad fought for?”
I am over 80 years old and it is exactly what I fought for! Well done the BNP.
Average Joe, Belfast
Auf welcher Seite?
It’s amazing how Labour politicians keep telling us we voted for the BNP because we didn’t understand its policies. NO – we voted for the BNP because we’re white, we’re native British, and we want OUR country back.
Paul
Hear that Brown? Hear that BBC? PC Brigade? This was NOT a protest vote! Paul really is JUST RACIST. So don’t you generic Islington liberals patronise him by trying to address his other, legitimate concerns.
Great news that the British National Party have won 2 seats! I backed them, as did everyone I know. And i’m not one of these working class racist ‘yobbos’ the media make the BNP out to be. Just a hard-working Englishman that cares about his country and doesn’t want it governed by Europe.
God bless democracy.
Englander, Yorkshire
That’s fine then. It’s quite alright to be that kind of racist. Just make sure your tie is straight when you assault ethnic minorities, use tasteful pastel colours to daub swastikas on Jewish graves and remember there’s an ‘h’ in “go home”. Otherwise people will think you’re some sort of ghastly plebeian Nazi who drinks red wine with fish.
Feel like stabbing a fork into your own face until the stupid goes away? Well here’s Ben’s find. Like a magic eye, it takes a few seconds for you to see it. But, unlike a magic eye, it’s actually rather clever and entertaining.
The Most Curious outcome of this Election is the proclivity of the Commentators on this fine Website for sudden and unexpected Capital Letters, that blight out Fine Nation more profoundly than beef mountain, butter curtains and other Dimensional Junk.
Henry Dechamps, Hemel Hempstead
96 Responses to “Not Your Typical BNP Voters”
… butter curtains?
*returns profanisaurus to the loo*
I see what he’s done there. Very clever.
I think.
Oh gawds.. please fix the RSS!
Nnnnaarrgghhh, one thing that annoys me about the BNP is that their supporters spout out the same “England for the English” bullshit mantra – don’t they realise that they’re the BRITISH (not English) national party. BRIT-ISH.
It’s either Britain for the British BNP, or re-brand yourselves the ENP and say England for the English. If the BNP are wanting to segregate everyone, I want to know if I will be considered ‘British’, allowing me to travel around Britain freely, or if I will be considered a ‘Jock’ and will have a tartan star sewn onto my clothing, limiting my ability to travel around this island.
I second Rob, the RSS needs to contain the whole article. It is pointless otherwise!
Love the site otherwise and so on licky bum etc
I third Rob, and second Adam… which sounds a bit rude, but what the hell.
Please fix the RSS, thank you, nice people, kissy kissy, etc.
That could easily be mistaken for Europe for the Europeish though.
Please, please, please fix the feed.
I was never any good with the magic eye pictures
I think I might need to get a magic eye to see this one, or I am being a bit special
Scrub that- I am not A Bit Special, there is possibly only one of her-I meant specially retarded in a BNP voter type of way.
Can someone explain Magic Eye? I think my slobbering Alsatian has a higher IQ than me.
Oh for fuck’s sake.
THINK ABOUT THE EU’S FAMOUS BUTTER MOUNTAINS
Aaahhhh, Thank you Alex, yep get it now. Flagellating oneself now for being such a fucktard.
Oh pissflaps. No, no, I must be some kind of twat. I’ve made a real lab kebab out of myself haven’t I? A proper spampurse.
No good Alex, you’ll need to publish the entire Profanisaurus for me to see it.
Okay, I get the beef curtains joke but what’s with the ‘Dimensional Junk’, and the meta-reference to capitals? Is that all just flimflam?
Thinking the commenter might be really smart and have hidden something in the capitalised words, I’ve come up blank. The letters are, in order of appearance, M C E C W C L F N D J. As Carol Vorderman would say, I think I need some more vowels…
Ah, I’ve found something, or have I… Dimensional Junk is an anagram of Mandolin Junkies??
Dear “fix the feed” people. The feed is working fine for me (using Bloglines as it goes) and if you visit the feed URL and look at the raw data, the full article content is still there.
So if there’s anyone whose feed is broken but who has the tech-balls to work out why and let me know, I’ll see if there’s owt I can do to fix it. Otherwise, I’ll just continue to file your “fix the feed” requests in my “spectacularly unhelpful bug reports” folder.
Thank.
I have giant tech-balls. Yesterday’s entry (“Put an end to this NOW Google”) showed on my Google Reader as truncated with “[...]“. Today’s (“Not your…”) showed fine. When I look at “all items” on GR for both of them, they both show in full.
Therefore at the moment, the status for me is: saw the problem once, can’t reproduce it.
People, if you want to report this you have to say:
* which entry was truncated
* when you saw that
* what your RSS reader is
* is it still doing it (eg by viewing old entries or similar)
I just have giant balls
Dear Mister Nelson please feed my fix because i cannot open browser and you have to fix please if i give you my address will you come and help my aresses?
@Ed: K. Reckon I’ll assume it’s fixed.
@tlumacz: I will come help you yes.
I think Henry was channelling Marcel, but spelt the surname wrong.
they said on saturday kitchen that that sort of thing is allowed now, you know.
re: using my magic eye, is it a schooner?
Hemel Hempstead. Well, that just says it all.
RSS Feeds? What’s wrong with just using a link to the main page. Lazy fucktards. No wonder they can’t figure out that it’s the sodding reader that’s the problem, not Nelson’s obviously finely crafted and hugely efficient (not to mention regularly updated) web portal thingummy.
Worse than BNP voters…
Plus if you don’t come to the site, you miss all the funny comments! Wait and see, I bet the funny cock-sucking dog will be along later! That guy’s the greatest – so funny.
What do you apply for best suction results? Cesar or Eukanuba?
Cesar, Eukanuba? If it is a BNP cock sucking dog, it can only be good old Pedigree Chum, English dog food for English cock sucking dogs
Reading that, I’m now curious about where Gobbler the Oral Sex Alsatian sits on the political spectrum :\
Gobbler’s political position is somewhat ambiguous, thank you for asking. He (or she) is after all the pet dog of a disembodied (?ex-)Nazi knob. On the other hand, she (or he) has a clear ambition to bite right-wing genitals (in a non-pleasurable way) and has uttered pretty clear threats against Griffin The Barnet Haemorrhoid, a person of whom she (or he) is clearly not enamoured. He (or she) enjoys her (or his) participation here and is very fond – alarmingly fond, in some cases – of his (or her) friends here.
Does that help at all?
woof woof woof
slurp slurp slurp
what he (it?) said
woof woof woof
grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
(uncontrollable hysterical angry barking for 5 minutes)
Do you think I could manage a “fix the feed” joke at this point? No? Sorry, I’ll get me coat.
Poor Gobbler. You’ll never get on cuteoverload at this rate…
Yes, quite. That was going to be my next question too. Sounds like one of ours for sure. Oldies but goodies, eh? Well done Sturmbannführer Josef, nice loyalty and that, but you may find that things have moved on a bit …
After some digging around it turns out that Average Joe was in the war: Hes none other than former propaganda minister Joseph Goebbels. He recently blew his cover helping coordinate the expulsion of 100s of Romanians from Belfast to create “Irish lebensraum” (a new Ikea)… Mention clubfoot and watch his eye get a nervous twitch like Herbert Lom
I read these comments hoping to learn what the magic eye thing was about, but I still have no idea. Anyoane care to post an actual explanation?
Terrible, terrible mistake. You seriously need to lower your expectations. Try something like:
- and you’ll be further along the True Path to Enlightenment.
If I’m right.
Oh Feck, rumbled.
Well don’t look at me I didn’t vote for them, but then again I am dead.
“Cesar, Eukanuba? If it is a BNP cock sucking dog, it can only be good old Pedigree Chum, English dog food for English cock sucking dogs”
Only problem there is Pedigree Chum isn’t English, it’s American. The English cock sucking dog would have to have something like Royal Canin. It’s ROYAL no less!!
I am over 80 years old and it is exactly what I fought for! Well done the BNP.
Average Joe, Belfast.
Ha ha, Average Joe unt his crazy British sense of humour. I am eighty myself unt vos was nowhere near the war. I vos honest carpenter in Lithuania. Making toys for zer kiddywinks.. Ha ha. Yes, toymaking. Definitely no gaschambers. TOYMAKING! Unt if Average Joe vishes to remain Average Joe and avoid Mossad visit, he should start to have similar background. Schnell!
I love those Irish lebensraums. With their hats and their cute little green trousers and that business with the rainbows and the Nazi gold.
It’s said Adolf’s dog was killed in the bunker using a cyanide pill, but I’m starting to develop an alternative theory.
I’ve just watched Downfall again but I can’t see the bit where Eva Braun and Goldi get down to business with a can of Chappie. Has anyone got the deleted scenes?
More up-to-the-minute stuff, then. Only four weeks late. Well done.
Maybe soon you’ll get around to viciously satirising the comments on the Have Your Say “Elvis dies: Your reactions” thread.
@Dr Feelgood – but even if Blondi were still alive she’d be er er 60 or something. This current Alsatian in question is, I assure you, youthful and vigorous. Sometimes a bit too vigorous. Sometimes really quite a lot too much so. Indeed yes. The relationship between HP and GTOSD is really quite recent. It is of course true that HP itself is about 120 but that’s a different matter. It’s amazing what you can do with a bit of formaldehyde, care, staying out the direct sun, etc.
Doh! There’s an error in there. See if you can spot it. Yeah, it’s like a magic eye thing. (?) Now kick me, go on, you know you want to.
@Dolly’s evil nemesis – of course, it was Blondi. I feel most foolish. Not quite sure why I thought AH’s pet was called Goldi – I can’t imagine there were too many drum ‘n’ bass DJs in the bunker.
I’ve “spotted” Dolly’s mistake. If I’m right.
You can have it back after you’ve paid back all the money you owe on it and when all the things that were stolen from other countries are returned or compensated for.
If they are white and British, they obviously haven’t been outside recently-the only people I am seeing are very brown or lobster red. Equal rights for Red people NOW!!!! Fact
It’s that word “native” as in “native British” that actually makes me want to throw up. It’s … so … GAH!!!! What is WRONG with these people? Horrible smug smug smug smug morons.
Sorry. I very nearly wrote something serious there and will try to make sure it never happens again.
Ah, excellent, the hot weather stories have enabled witty commenters to get out the extremely funny “dihydrogen monoxide” joke AGAIN. What a blessing to us all:
- from the comments at http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2009/jul/02/keep-pets-cool-hot-days – marvellous stuff. Marvellous marvellous marvellous. Aha. Ahaha. Aha.
That reminds me of an old Bernard Manning joke (was there ever any other kind!?)
“My father died at Auschwitz …
… He fell out of a machine-gun nest”.
Nice answer.
me too. They should stand up like everyone else.
“I’m truly sickened that the BNP have now got seats. Is this what my grandad fought for?”
So the Grandad had a scrap with the smug Barnet Bollock Head over some seats, now I would have paid to see that, and what type of seats are we talking flat pack jobbies from Ikea or a set of nice G-plan?
Funny you should mention that well-known Jewish comedian Bernard Manning. I recently heard something about him being in the army and being posted to Germany just after WWII.
According to Wikipedia, he was guarding Nazi war criminals at Spandau Prison, including the likes of Rudolf Hess, Albert Speer and Karl Doenitz.
Just goes to show you never can be too careful.
Are G-plan seats specially designed for owners of G-spots?
PISS FLAPS!
Ms Spesh – don’t let it get it to you!!!
NSFW action with Nick Griffin’s very own head of security and two INDIGEENOUS ENGLISH womens.
http://alassmithandgraham.blogspot.com/2008/01/security-lesbian-porn-scandal.html
NOW THE MUSLIMS HAVE TAKEN OUR SWEETS
http://isupporttheresistance.blogspot.com/2009/06/relentless-slither-of-islam.html
http://isupporttheresistance.blogspot.com/2009/06/relentless-slither-of-islam.html
No Bit Special is right, first they came for the chairs, but I wasn’t a chair, then they came for the televisions-oh hang on that was the bailiffs
if someone doesnt explain this magic eye thing Im gonna go insane.
So what butter mountains? what is remotely clever or entertaining about that?
seriously, what the fuck
help me!
I just nod wisely and add amusing comments so it might look as if I am on the joke. I’m treating it in effect as a variant of Mornington Crescent. I haven’t actually a single clue in my notably brainless rightwing BBC-commenting head what anyone (including me) is on about 97.2% of the time. I try not to worry. Chocolate helps too. So does beer. Beer is good, I find. Paracetamol helps with the headache too.
(PS Sorry about adding apostrophe’s in your “direct quote”. Its virry virry bad of me. On the other hand, this is not Wikipedia, hahaha, so who give’s a rats ar’se, eh? Nelson already has my admin request with oversight, rollback and upyerbum privilege’s.)
Me too. I presume it’s the relatively lame insertion of the words “beef” and “curtains” into a single sentance in a way to fool the retro-active moderators into the BBC into allowing a barely noticeable reference to labia to get past.
I’ve been happily whiling away time at work attempting – with some success – to visualize the subject of this “magic eye”, since looking at photos, or better live exhibition, of the same is NSFW.
OTOH, I, as others, still feel that I missing something (in addition to me marbles, of course).
I like bunnies and kittens.
I have two eyes, but they are not magic.
I like bunnies and kittens but do not have any at the moment.
Magic eyes.
Bunnies. Kittens.
Bunnies and kittens can have magic eyes. See the bunnies with magic eyes. See the kittens with magic eyes. See the lovely bunnies and kittens and their lovely magic eyes.
See the people with lead-lined armour trousers, welding goggles and a big big gun.
Magic eyes!!
Bunnies!! Kittens!!!
Zap boom splat!
It’s quite simple. Mcecwclfndj is the Welsh word for a colossal collection of cattle’s cunts.
Unless I’m incorrect.
There’s no J in Welsh. Must be Polish.
On the subject of “Lebensraum” being a new Ikea, the German word also means “habitat”.
These comments are incredibly shite please hide them Nelson.
I like pie.
I also like pies, but haven’t had one this week
Good greif, shite comments are what make this site so enjoyable, no shite, no site.
On the subject of “Lebensraum” being a new Ikea, the German word also means “habitat”.
So this is the BNP’s plan, to let their Nazi chums in the back door via furniture store annexing,
We shall fight them in the soft furnishings, we shall fight them in the bedroom deapartment…..and more mocking Churchillian drivel.
@Linguist – If there is no J in Welsh, how do they spell ‘Jones’? Is it Iones or Chones? Sorry, trying not to be serious, but am intrigued. Diolch.
Clovis – by dint of Jones not actually being a Welsh surname. Ta.
Wondo papoonlay skrms!
“Treat others, as you would like them to treat you.
But if they treat you badly, treat them twice as badly.”
Publish Last, Derby, United Kingdom
I get the feeling that Publish Last has been subject to some fairly crappy treatment in his time and is now sitting in his hovel in Derby plotting revenge on all those that have called him fat, four eyes, homo,geek, dork,loser, mummys boy, retard, fuckwit,twatbasket, turd gobbler……need I go on, one day he will have his revenge and then we’ll be sorry.
shit, posted that on the wrong one-arse biscuits
Are arse-biscuits a Welsh delicacy?
There’s no J in it, so the chances are good.
That’s a real cry for help if ever I heard one. Brother/sister/etc, we feel your pain. Group hug. Yeah.
Oh by the way, there’s a nice doggie round here somewhere, would it make you feel better if it came and said “hello”? Ah bless. Oops.
“I’m truly sickened that the BNP have now got seats.”
Well after Rosa Parks got one, is was bout time the BNP got some too.
‘Arse biscuits’ are not a Welsh delicacy – you’re thinking of ‘welsh cakes’, which frankly don’t taste much better. If I’m right
I have moved from HYS to the hilarious BNP deputy leader’s blog: simondarby.blogspot.com
It cuts down on the amount of scrolling I have to do, as all the brilliantly stupid comments are in the same vein.
hehehe if its the (return of the EU’s) butter mountains, then Henry Dechamps’s’ other bit must mean beef curtains. And oooo I’ve heard what they are….