Big shout out to the HYS moderators for asking the question “What philosophical quotation inspires you?“. Brilliant.
No one inspires anyone. I enjoy creating knowledge. There is no one that can inspire without the willingness of you the individual. But it is not them but you. When you read, write or simply just contemplate. You are the creator of knowledge. Not one individual is the same. Try as you will no one is the same, nothing ever means the same. What you think and what you know of life belongs to you. You can designate any place in your shelfs of thought to put it but it is you and no God else.
Lee Sanders Jr, Phenix City, AL. North America, United States
Keep creating that knowledge!
If you don’t/do then the terrorists win.
Dave, Ca, USA
Well that’s us buggered then.
Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see.
John Lennon. He was talking about liberals.
[chuckm51], Austin,Texas, United States
Makes sense.
I suspect that this next “philosophical quotation” may have been fabricated by a witless bell-end.
And as Gordon Brown leaves No10 for the last time……
Diesel Dog, United Kingdom
Or maybe it’s just the only phrase he knows. He probably shouts it when he comes.
And finally, a cunt:
“Treat others, as you would like them to treat you.
But if they treat you badly, treat them twice as badly.”
Publish Last, Derby, United Kingdom
Good choice. My favourite Jesus quote is “Let he who is without sin throw the first stone. Nobody? Really?? Well I’m going to stone the bitch myself then. Come on you pussies! THROW SOME FUCKING STONES. YEAH! NICE! RIGHT IN THE FACE! MAN I’M SO HARD RIGHT NOW. LET’S KICK HER IN THE TITS!”.
154 Responses to “Deep Thought”
Oh my God.
Just shoot me, right now.
(Good Jesus quote though.)
I have decided to yell topical HYS phrases when I cum from now on:
“I bet they don’t publish this!”,
“England for the English!”
and when it’s a massive ejaculatory gush; “Joy Pattinson…ROLLE!!!!!!111!!1!”
“Treat others, as you would like them to treat you.
But if they treat you badly, treat them twice as badly.”
Publish Last, Derby, United Kingdom
I get the feeling that Publish Last has been subject to some fairly crappy treatment in his time and is now sitting in his hovel in Derby plotting revenge on all those that have called him fat, four eyes, homo,geek, dork,loser, mummys boy, retard, fuckwit,twatbasket, turd gobbler……need I go on, one day he will have his revenge and then we’ll be sorry.
‘If you don’t/do then the terrorists win.’
Yeah, keep the teatowel wearing bastards guessing what you are going to do Dave, will you won’t you, it’s the indecision that fools them but they will still win because you are really just a dead racoons oozing arsehole
At least Lee Sanders from Alabama isn’t spewing hate all over us (despite having such a Confederate name). Shame his Dad wasn’t so nice to all those chickens though.
Oh, hang on, that’s Kentucky isn’t it?
Damn. Is the tennis on yet?
I thought Dave was taking the piss, meself.
The thing about John Lennon is that you can interpret what he said to suit your own preconceptions. JUST LIKE JESUS!!!!!!!
Wasn’t John Lennon kind of famous for actually being a liberal? He also said “give peace a chance,” married a furrin and took up with some weird Eastern religion for a bit, and moved to New York to imagine people living in harmony before leaping into the path of any passing bullets.
Okay, technically the last bit may not necessarily be the behaviour of a liberal, but I’ve no doubt he meant well.
Thanks for fixing the RSS.. even though I accept from the previous post that you didn’t know there was anything wrong with it and it may be luck
But thanks anyway.
Uh-oh. If one thing lends credence to the anti-forrin arguments it is Yoko. So don’t bring her up.
John Lenin said that.
“Don’t put off until tomorrow that which can be put off until the day after tomorrow” – Mark Twain
I was going to write this tomorrow… Oh buggering shit fuck it.
Disagree with that last one. It’s chuckm51 who is the real cunt of the list. He probably sings Imagine with the line “and no religon too” with the “no” changed to “one” (or simply drops that line as it’s quite possible he’s never heard the full atheistic version broadcast on the amerikan radio/teevee).
As if editing out atheism to make a popular song suitable for christian bigots isn’t bad enough, it is also necessary to assume that anything critical ever mentioned by anybody was clearly aimed at all those idiots – commies, liberals, leftists – who aren’t members of the ignorant far right rabble.
I genuinely lolled out loud at that one.
He was talking about North London Champagne Socialists, particularly those from Camden who work in government services.
Even though it is logically impossible to do so, I agree with every word Lee said. eg. Me and my mates love LOTR, but one is convinced that Ken Livingstone was the Steward of Gondor and tried to block Boris Johnston’s rightful claim to the throne because his ancestor, Margaret Thatcher, cut the one ring off (of) Queen Victoria’s finger. And the other is certain it states that hobbits are hairless, blue hermaphrodites.
Everything is subjective. isn’t it?. Or IS it? Hmmm?
Ungrateful cunt
Is it me or does it seem like chuckm51 is trying to quote Imagine, but got confused and accidentally quoted Strawberry Fields.
Surely the moderators should only let one repetitive cliched Lennon song be quoted.
Maybe two if they included Working Class Hero.
This thread says a lot about HYSers.
The question is:
Gandhi, inspriational pacifist leader
Einstein, Scientific heavyweight
Shakespeare, the father of literature
Alice Hergett, scum
And by the way – is this person really quoting RATM?
I prefer “What? The land of the free? Whoever told you that is your enemy?” or “Fist in the air in the land of hypocrisy” comrade.
Lee Sanders Jr is a stoner. And he screwed up his address. He left out “Earth, The Solar System, Milky Way Galaxy, The Universe”
Mmmm, words to live by.
‘A little of knowledge acquired of any Subject is a live Volcano’. Armed with so, when an entity intends to impart knowledge to others, it invariably make everyone mad amasses especially when it connected to ‘Religion’ and ‘Spirituality’ to instantly force the mind to behave erratic. This is exactly is the reason why the present World is turned into a deep turbulence without seeing much sign of retract as yet in-spite of our best efforts to revert the knowledge so infused out of the mind .
Dr MRIDUL MOHAN HAZARIKA PhD, BANGALORE, India
…and how good is that
I like inspiration, but I have never been inspired
I wonder what Dr Hazarika’s PhD is in. Not in a literate discipline, anyway.
“Im probably the only person to have written more books than I’ve read”
-Garth Marenghi
Or as Jesus also said “Blessed are the meek, but not as blessed as the Have Yer Sayers.”
I always remember this word of wisdom I heard on the London Underground: “Bank.”
And they say education is crap now.
;(
I know this post doesn’t immediately stand out, but I think its unintentional honesty is morbidly fascinating. That smug, superior taunt to “Think about it” after his feeble playground joke! This is his idea of a tricky mental exercise! (surprise, surprise, his vast post-history is a stream of angry, brash idiocy)
Devilzadvacate? I’ve thought about it… you’re a tragic moron. Imagining what it’s like inside your head makes me genuinely claustrophobic.
I’m interested in Publish Last and how he decides quite when he has inflicted treatment that is twice as bad as the crime that has been perpetrated against him (surely it’s a him). Does someone who looks at him in a funny way end up being in the cross hairs of an M16 from the top of a multi storey car park? If somebody picks up the last copy of Jungle Survial Monthly from the local newsagent are their family stalked and mown down or does he just sit at home twisting his old comfort blanket through his fingers and impotently going through what he would have done if only……………….
I’m far to lazy to actually read HYS but how many of them selected that wanky Voltaire misquote about not liking racists but wanting to kill anyone who disagrees with them?
If ever there was a pointless website this is the one.
Ha Ha Ha! Whooop! We have a 24 carat HILL-BILLY in tonight. (1984ReturnsForReal is a hardcore sad-fucker who spends his life posting thick second-hand shite on HYS.)
And yes, you’ll come back to check the replies to your devastating critique… So here’s one…
Dear 1984RFR, you’re a sad little ignorant dick whose tragic posts contain logic-holes the size of Jupiter and factual errors that would make an infant blush. You are a thick fascist twat. You, and 20 million other dicks like you, are the main problem with this “once great nation”. Thank God the reach of your influence is confined to a website which has as much political clout as a cub-scout jumble sale, because otherwise you’d be dangerous. Shove your ignorant self confidence up your arse and fuck off.
*Siiiiiiiiiiiigh* I’ve waited 2 years for the opportunity to say that.
Shhhh… shhhh… you might frighten it… shhhh… you’re genuine HYSer in the wild… Shhhh… First we coax it with a Daily Mail… beckon it over… shhhh… coax it wit words it might know… “Britain’s gone to the dogs”, “It’s Political Correctness Gone Mad”, “I Blame the Forruns” etc Then slap it in a box and send it back to 1932 Germany.
Now there was me wondering where the public funded idiots who run HYS hang out.
^^^^^^^
See above.
Less than 500 characters. On the subject. To the point. Not abusive & 100% accurate.
Keep it up. Your post certainly doesnt surprise me. What did happen to the once “great” BBC? Now I know the answer.
Blah. Blah. Blah. Daily Mail. Daily Mail. Daily Mail.
I have a copy a Private Eye & yesterdays Telegraph if you want it. They make better reading than your drivel but I suppose they are a little dated.
What did happen to your own 20+ IDs on HYS?
You know what they say about people with multiple user names? dont you?
Dont forget to polish off your Rosette. It will look better on Ebay.
You used 677 characters, you shaven shark’s shitflap!
Oh, I do like sinking to the level of the silent majority. But I’m going go one better by being abusive too. Cunt! Ahahahahahahah!
Ooh, and 1984blahblahblah, if you HYS mod person is such an idiot and you feel so passionately about people being able to Have Their Say, why not go for a job at the BBC? I mean, you might not get the job because of the horrible liberal conspiracy against you and the rest of the right thinking silent majority. Or maybe you’re just thick as shit? Go on, chuck it all in and work for the BBC. After all, HYS is a VITALLY important battleground for great minds, I think you should really go for it!! Good luck, friend! xxxxxxxx
your.
FFS!
You can count.
Or did you get your sister to do it?
Its amazing that you can judge my politics.
How is Uri? Send my regards.
Your as pathetic as those who you mock.
I got Word to do it, because your mother was busy. I don’t judge your politics, I judge you! Some of my best friends are Telegraph readers, but against the odds, they are not morons. You pride yourself on your short, concise snappiness, then drivel on turgidly.
I’m confused by the Uri thing. Are you trying to imply that I’m beholded to some kind of psychic Jewish conspiracy? Or is this some elaborate way of calling me a bender? I’m both actually…
And seriously, given HYS is so important to you, and given that the people who moderate it are *clearly* morons, why don’t you get involved? Or diddums not get a very good education because the the world was against him? It’s alright, the big pages in the Telegraph make you look very very clever, and make women want to sleep with you.
BEHOLDEN! GRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111ONE
Dave is officially awesome.
Wait, is that a Sayer admitting that he and the rest of them are pathetic? Or is it that he just didn’t think about what he was typing?
Interesting.
1984returnsforreal:
1. It cannot return for it is a NOVEL. It’s either there or it’s not.
2. You have never read the book. Guaranteed.
3. Put down the Dungeons and Dragons (or whatever “game” you crazy kids play these days) and get the following, in any order:
Laid
A job
Real
Lost
Thanks.
Fuck what a nob… look, we are not guessing that you are a low-brow opiniontated dick. You are one of the addicted ranters at that stupid site. Haven’t you worked it out yet? You’re an internet loony! Someone who sits at home bashing away at the keyboard thinking you’re leading some great grassroots crusade when in fact you’re all alone in the spare bedroom in your underpants. By a man’s works shall ye know him; So I present… Exhibit A
abusive and a massively simplified sweeping statement not worthy of a 12 year old.
Exhibit B
ridiculous Daily Mail led Paranoia. Laughably tragic.
Exhibit C
‘shouldn’t of’… ’nuff said.
There are millions more of your posts, but they’ll do. You’re an ignorant right-wing internet ranter. We don’t need Uri Geller to tell us that. You told us yourself. Have a nice day.
No fucker better even THINK about making (my beloved) SYB a worthwhile use of my time or I won’t be responsible for my actions, so help me…
Eureka! Stop the bus. I’ve found it… I’ll tell you why you’re a sad internet loony.
At MoneySavingExpert.com you have 2000 posts. Mostly boring drivel with lots of exclamation marks, ‘rotfl’, and moaning about post deletions. But the pure and wonderful thing is that you have included a fucking COPYRIGHT statement on your banal ejaculations. Ha! Trawling through your posts I didn’t find a single thing worth reading and yet you’ve copyrighted them!!! How self-important is that?
Awesome! I’d copy and paste some examples here, but as you copywrited them, I just daren’t in case you sue.
Addendum. The above comment by ‘HYS Mod’ remain the exclusive property of The BBC and may not be used in any media without written permission from the BBC Legal Dept. © 2009
I just hope that 1984ReturnsForReal doesn’t work out that we’ll delete all the HYS mod posts and make it look like he’s winning the argument if he sends something vaguely legal to the submissions address.
Thanks for the text at 4.42 this morning.
I assume its only the owner or agent of this site who can trace an IP address.
Surely the owner isnt that stupid to make that type of information available to anyone who comes across the site.
Unfortunately whover texted made the mistake (& I assume its a mistake) of texting my wife who has newly announced (yesterday) she is pregnant. Now if you take that text & read it back it would somewhat have undeniable threatening tone to a pregnant woman, wouldnt it?
I would advise all posters that possibly either the site owner or agent cannot be trusted with your details & should you have jobs that depend on a certain degree of discreteness you stay well away from this site.
Feel free to text her back & apologise.
It seems some people are not as intelligent as they pretend to be. Idiot.
KELVIN! Yay! Lord Kelvin returns with his sangefroid so froid he had to invent a temperature scale to measure it. How was the four months for gross tax evasion?
Well looky here! *spits* We got ourselves a dandy city slicker! That’s some mighty fancy grammar, city boy. “it would somewhat have…” Hooo-weee! You use your tongue prettier than a $20 whore. That’s powerful book learnin’ ya got there, mister. I sure do wish I’d gotten some schoolin’ like that.
I assume it would be a complete idiot who would imagine there’s any way you could determine a mobile phone number on an unrelated network from someone’s IP address.
Beastly. Room service was practically non-existent and to say the staff were brusque… well!
Oh. My. God. He’s RIGHT – 1984 is returning for real! Nelson is clearly a major player in a terrifying-yet-all-too-real Zionist Muslim NuLiarBore plot to bring down all right-thinking True Ingerlish (not British) men (not women, as they aren’t fully human) by working out someone’s mobile phone number from their IP address – despite that being, like, totally impossible, even for that poor Asperger’s bloke from Scotland who hacked into the Pentagon for shits and giggles and is now facing extradition for.. you get the picture – to send them vaguely hassling texts at rude o’clock in the morning! WAKE UP AND OPEN YOUR EYES TO DA TROOF, FOOLS! There’s no way it could be a text not meant for you sent by a drunken stranger inputting the wrong number, nooo way whatsoever (IF said text exists, of course).
You couldn’t make it up!!!!eleventy!!! Or be a paranoid freak and make a stupid mistake at a time of heightened personal emotion!!!one!11!!!!one!one!1!!
Anyway, Mr 1984ReturnsForReal – what the fuck are you doing pointlessly spitting out your illogical and embarrassing bile on here which we are only going to rip the shit out of anyway if your wife has just given birth? You heinous, pitiful excuse for a man (as if we needed any more proof!)! I feel sorry for her in more than one way (that is, presuming she actually exists and is not just some tiresome invention to try and make whoever sent you the text look even more *guilty*). Shouldn’t you be with her and your newborn enjoying those precious first hours and days together? Reject the kid now and you’ll the first one grassed up by the little tyke when 1984 RETURNS FOR REAL!
What’s that you say? You don’t get my reference? You’ve not actually read the book? Ah. I think we all see now.
For “wife” and “pregnant”, read “Lucy Latex” and “puncture”.
If I’m right.
p.s. Mobile numbers from an IP ?? Yeah right!!!
by working out someone’s mobile phone number from their IP address – despite that being, like, totally impossible
—
It would be interesting to know how exactly a random person can produce a person specific text.
Grow up.
I don’t like what you’re implying here. If it didn’t exist that would mean 1984ReturnsForReal would be making up an imaginary infringement of his rights and then blowing himself up into a very real fit of anger over it, all to make himself seem like some kind of wronged moral hero. And that runs completely contrary to the spirit of his beloved Have Your Say.
Just humour me here, old chap, I’m going to make a suggestion that on the face of it might sound a outlandish but go with me on it. Seeing as how it’s utterly impossible to determine someone’s mobile phone number from their IP address, is it perhaps just possible that this text was sent by someone else, possibly not from the internets? I know it’s a long shot because someone of your undeniable calibre couldn’t possibly make enemies of every single person he meets by dint of blurting out your half-formed reactionary spittle-flecked pseudopolitics at the most tangential opportunity any conversation presents, but perhaps you once did it unknowingly in a fit of the vapours?
If you’re this much of a prick online, imagine how bad you are in person ?
I suspett your text buddy could be anyone you’ve pissed off.
Suspect.
Cod’s gonads.
Also, on a hunch that the “person specific” aspect of the text was just that he called you a cunt, I’m afraid it’s my sad duty to inform you that the word is actually a commonly-used slang term for the female genitalia and a form of coarse abuse, and not your personal nickname down the pub.
But, in the spirit of reconciliation, I will apologise to your wife. I’m so, so, sorry that’s she married to you.
What did the text say?
P.S. I think you may have quoted the wrong part of Ms Special’s post. Or possibly replied to the wrong part. Or both.
Gosh. Just popped in for quiet Sunday afternoon catch-up and all this has been going on. It’s jolly entertaining.
Incidentally, if 1984RFR was posting from a mobile, it is possible for the network to associate the IP address with a phone number. I’m sure T-Mobile have nothing better to do at 4.42AM on a Sunday morning.
Perhaps they sold this vital information to the sinister characters who control the Interent*. THEY then passed this information on to the owner of this site. It’s a conspiracy I tell you, the voices in the sandwich maker warned me about this.
* The cognoscenti will note the witty reference.
For the avoidance of doubt, that’s the only way it would be technically possible, but it would require a court order for any ISP to release identifying data related to an IP in their range. And unfortunately we can’t bring proceedings against 1984RFR for being a bellend, so there’s no way the text came from anyone associated with this site.
Can we at not least TRY? My brother’s best friend is a solicitor – I’ll give him a ring, see what he says.
@Grov – you can call me Spesh if you, erm, want to, y’know, like…
@Dr F – Sir, Sir! I got it, Sir!
Incidentally, 1984RFR, you still haven’t answered my questions – have you (a) actually read 1984 and (b) why the fuck are you on here when your wife’s just had a baby? Bet she’s well chuffed at where she and the baby come in your list of priorities.
Also, I didn’t write the bloody text (or DID I? Buahaha!) so how do I know what’s in it? ‘Grow up’ is so disappointing – please do not address the creator of ‘twatbasket’ with such rudimentary and inadequate insults. Tssk.
I just love the way you all read facts into information that is not even there.
Is there such a thing a paranoid reading?
Could there be psycholiterate experts on here. There seems to be experts in politics, IT & psychology so you could be in with a chance of online therapy.
To believe that any level of intelligence exists by manufacturing your own delussional thoughts within other peoples words is truely awe inspiring.
As for answering any questions I suggest you try your best to read my posts again. After you have done this then you may possibly see that your questions are (a) idiotic (b) have no basis on the facts.
There’s just the one ‘s’ in delusional, but you KNEW that didn’t you ???
I claim my five pounds for spotting the deliberate error!!!
1984 – agree with La Spesh, you have no more read Orwell’s magnup opus than I’ve eaten a camel’s penis.
MAGNUM – fuck.
Am eating one as well as we speak!
For the purpose of gleefully debunking 1984′s tiresome tirades I have to point out that his wife, who he lets leap from her bed at 4 am in the morning instead of wrapping her in cotton wool in her delicate state is a mere 4 to 5 weeks pregnant… unless she’s holding out on some vital info to her husband for some unknown reason…
With that established he can stop evading questions
I understand it might be difficult to someone who’s only used to paranoid writing.
Ms. Special – My thanks, methinks, milady, I am honored. However, I recall that there is a novelisation of the site in the works (They Spoke They’re Branes, if memory serves) and I believe the unnecessary formality may lend the text an air of Jane Austeniness*. I hope to be depicted with a ridiculous mustache and top hat. Maybe even a monocle, if I’m lucky.
*I haven’t read any Jane Austen, but it cropped up in Red Dwarf once, and it looked well classy. There was a tank and all. I think there’s gazebos and horse riding and shit too.
What is this ‘delussional’ he speaks of? I can only understand the writing of well-educated, literate non-mentals with a full grasp of irony. I have TRIED to read his posts, as he so requests, but my mind finds it a struggle to cope with them; I may well need to read some Derrida in the original French to stop me having some sort of fit.
Also, as a woman, I would say that casting aspersions on a man spending all his time on here boo-hooing like Spoilt Bastard from Viz when his wife has just given birth is entirely relevant. Not to mention reasonable.
WON’T SOMEBODY THINK OF THE CHILDREN?!!!
PS: ‘La Spesh’? I LOVE it! La Spesh it must be from now on. I may even consider changing my *real* name by deed poll. Ceannair, I am reet chuffed wi’ that (as we say round these parts).
@Admiral Grovworth III – thank you, kind sir. Your gentlemanly and respectful demeanour is most becoming in one of your station. If I may be so bold as to speak my mind (or indeed ‘Branes’, if you will grant a lady her little diversion), I would divulge freely the fact that I always imagine you with monocle, top hat and facial whiskers of the utmost hilarity. And thus it will be ever so in ‘They Spoke They’re Branes’. I only hope that my advanced spinsterhood, shrewish disposition and less-than-tolerable teeth* do not spoil my chances of being a major protagonist (hopefully called Mademoiselle La Spesh). I am otherwise comely, buxom and agreeable. http://cellar.org/attachment.php?attachmentid=22584&d=1237841881 See?
*Please don’t let me be the only person who gets this Austen reference.
PS Don’t forget the zombies! http://www.amazon.co.uk/Pride-Prejudice-Zombies-Romance-now-Ultraviolent/dp/1594743347/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1246815216&sr=8-1
My wife has just let me back on the interwebs after dealing with children things, and I am glad that she has. 1984RFR is top quality. I have a mental image of a white mondeo (51 plate) on the drive of a newly built house on a perfeclty manicured estate, with neighbourhood watch stickers in the window and 1984RFR wallpapering his wheelie bin, so that it is camoflauged, so that NuLiabore cannot put cameras in it to see all the secret midget porn that he is discarding lest his poor long suffering wife find them and show them to Mr Johnson in the office, who wont tolerate that sort of thing in the company and fires his sorry ass, and his perfect Ingerlish life comes to an end and he has to live on one of those dreadful sink estates with knifecrimming, drug dealing,sex traffiking (he’d probably like that bit) forrin types on ludicrously low benefits (I paid my taxes before the midget porn thing and deserve more than forrin spongers)…….ah , so much better now.Come on 1984RFR give us some more entertainment it is Sunday.
Shit, hope he doesn’t manage to wok out my address from that last one, if you can do mobiles nobody is safe. I await the dawn raid.
Just got my first ever email from a dating site.
On top of the text to my wife at 4.40 this morning.
Funny that you all seem to think that this website is run by the righteous.
Like I said if your job means you need to maintain discretion I wouldn’t touch this website with a bargepole.
It would seem very few of you have these type of jobs then.
Admiral GrovworthIII – thank you, kind Sir. Such a gentlemanly and respectful demeanour is most becoming in a man of your station. If I may make so bold as to speak my mind (or my ‘branes’, if you will permit a lady her little diversion), I must divulge that I already imagine you with monocle, top hat and facial whiskers of the utmost hilarity. And thus it will be ever so in ‘They Spoke They’re Branes’. I just hope that my own advanced spinsterhood, shrewish mien and less-than-tolerable teeth* do not ruin my own chances of being a major protagonist (hopefully called Mademoiselle Bitsy La Spesh). I am otherwise entirely comely, buxom and agreeable.
*Please let someone else get this Austen reference.
PS Don’t forget the zombies! http://www.amazon.co.uk/Pride-Prejudice-Zombies-Romance-now-Ultraviolent/dp/1594743347/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1246815924&sr=8-1
Lets face it; the best bit of SYB is when an HYS troll blunders in and we all happily boot the fucker for a few days. It’s good for group morale. So, just to keep the ball rolling, here are some more 1984rfr gems that prove he’s a rage addicted thicko who constantly hits the SYB 5-stars mark. (‘Sadly’ most of his post history was lost in the crash a couple of months back (Mad time! You should’ve seen the uber-nutters demanding their precious mountain of oral-spunk be returned!), but we still have some caches left… here are a few retrivals. Enjoy.
Bellend. FACT! End of!!1!
Yep, That about sums the twat up-and for the record 1984RFR, I do have an extremely responsible job that does require a hell of a lot of discretion, but unlike you, I am not stupid enough to spout forth such uniformed and hate filled arse gravy, that I need to be worried if my employers found out-you on the other hand are.. why would that be??
Wow, 1984RFR, I’m going to stop coming here now, after your little foot-stamp about discretion an’ ting. Your arguments are so persuasive.
You only got your first spam email THIS WEEK? Shouldn’t you be thinking how lucky you are not to have had your inbox crippled daily by spam like everyone else who uses the *interent* instead of immediately presuming you’re now being targeted by people on here? We like taking the piss out of you, cos (a) that’s what we do, (b) you’re a mad and pitiful assclown and (c) it’s a boring Sunday, but you need serious psychiatric help if you think any of us could be arsed to send you texts or try to set you up with spam! We’re not only indiscreet but lazy too! It’s all that nuliar-bore plotting, you see – it just takes it out of us all.
Actually, that should have just ended at ‘… need serious psychiatric help’.
‘Like I said if your job means you need to maintain discretion I wouldn’t touch this website with a bargepole.’
Oooo, but you keep coming back you masochist.
‘Just got my first ever email from a dating site.’
How did you know it was from a dataing site, don’t you filter and delete your spam without reading it like everyone else, or are you secretly looking?
on 05 Jul 2009 at 6:46 pm 1984ReturnsForReal
Just got my first ever email from a dating site.
—————
First ever date more like!!!
Oh and La Spesh, feel free to use this on your passport and credit cards!!
@Daley Mayle – what’s wrong with spam? Without it, I would never have been able to get this massive penis which I can keep up all night or win the Nigerian, Kenyan AND Bolivian lotteries.
I really need to stop posting on here and do something else with my day.
Ah, fuck it.
@Ceannair – It will still be Ms La Spesh, mind.
British people are Europeans.
Now come on chaps (and Ms Special), lets leave the dating thing, Mr 1984RFR has already informed us of his marital status, lets have a little respect for Mrs 1984RFR, how would we all sleep at night in the knowledge that we may have broken up such a happy home, shame on us all… right off to bed for a bloody good nights sleep then.
It is a truth universally aknowledged that any man in possesion of a long post history on HYS must be in want of a brane.
*raises straw boater and spins cane* eye than’ kyow!
Off to bed? Off to bed??? I’ve got to organise 15 pizza deliveries and a tranny dominatrix to go round 1984RFR’s house and THEN print his full address on facebook stating he’s holding the biggest gay orgy in Europe tonight – I’ll be lucky if I’m in bed before 3am!
@That Bloke in the Corner – leave me out of it, matey! I ain’t said nuffink about his dating. It’s everything else about him I’M slagging off.
@fp – verily, you are a true wit, sirrah! I tip my poke-bonnet in your direction.
on 05 Jul 2009 at 6:46 pm 1984ReturnsForReal
Just got my first ever email from a dating site.
———–
Yeah, that was from me.
And it wasn’t spam, I actually want to go on a date with you.
Can we share your midget porn?
Madam, your tipped poke-bonnet is a most pretty and appealing thing to behold. It is more than I deserve. I only hope I can muster the grace to be allowed to delicately mention that it appears to me your bonnet is surprisingly wet, and yet I swear it is not raining nor has been these past few hours.
@Bit Special AKA la Spesh
au contraire dear lady, I didn’t say that you that you were joining in in the ‘dating’ debate, but my use of the word ‘chaps’ assumed that everyone is a bloke type and I didn’t want to be on the receiving end of your wrath by not doffing my cap towards your existence, what with you being of the lady persuasion and everything, but do please carry on slagging everything else about him off, it really is making my Sunday..doffs cap, bows in deepest reverance and trundles off for more wine.
@That Bloke – thank you for your courteous inclusion of the feminine sex in your previous post. Never before have I been surrounded by such chivalry as on here! Nor such witness such twatbasketry as I have in 1984RFR.
@fp – you’re scaring me now.
What the fuck is ‘Nor such witness such’ about? I meant ‘Nor witnessed such’. Ye Olde Fucklesticks!
Well that’s particularly interesting, since you and I both know you post here using an obviously fake email address. And also that if we were going to sign you up to unwanted emails it would be wall-to-wall goat porn and midget slapping, rather than subject any more women to your unpleasant little existence.
So I’m kind of forced to conclude that you’re making up these communications in the hope of achieving Internet Martyrdom, or better still in the misguided belief that you can drive people away from this site because they’ll believe a word you say. Which, I must say, for someone who has no discernible sense of humour, might be the funniest thing you could do.
Fuck it, scratch all of the above, I know what’s happened. I just caught Sandra Bullock and Keanu Reeves sneaking around behind the server. 1984RFR, you should direct your complaints to:
Mr. Neo
1 Zion Street
Zion
Try and do it before the third film though, as he gets a bit shit then.
Don’t you mean Carrie-Anne Moss ?
Sandra B was in the actually quite good Speed.
Well, I say “quite good” as it was shite but a) Dennis Hopper – legend and b) Reeves when he was fit wearing a uniform.
No, I mean Sandra Bullock. Nelson taught me never to get away with cramming one pop-culture reference into a post when you can shoehorn a second in there.
The other pop culture reference wasn’t to Speed by the way.
Am taking this toooooo seriously ain’t I ??
Sorry!!!! Will not happen agsin.
Shouldn’t someone inform the 1984etc eejit that anyone who has actually ever read the book knows it is “Nineteen Eighty-Four” not 1984.I also suggest that, if it has not already happened, someone formulates an equivalent of Godwin’s Law for Orwell references.
As he’s already stated that my reference to the book is irrelevant, I think he means the year 1984 is returning for real. I fucking hope not, because that’s the year I started secondary school. I ain’t wearing a bri-nylon sky blue shirt ever a-bastard-gain. Although I am prepared to wear a tie which shows only 2 inches of the thin side. Fellow crones and old-timers will know what I’m talking about.
Thank you all for the wonderful insight into this illustrious website.
As for the HYS moderator posting on here I would like to say I find it reassuring that he & you can take the mickey out of the various comments made on the BBC website.
Its also rather warming to know that a vast majority of the exhibits on here are written initially by said moderator.
So in reality you are ridiculing yourselves.
As for the text at 4.40 this morning you have had the opportunity to reverse it & yet done nothing. Its publish or police time. No choice after you arranged the email. Wifes mobile & my email, where do you stop?
I hope for your sake its a throw away sim in a throw away phone.
I can’t wait for our HYS pal to initiate ‘publish or police time’. More exciting than waiting for Christmas!
Christ on a bike, 1984RFR actually believes that he is being stalked by the SYB forum…
As I am a bleeding-heart liberal and a self-confessed ‘kitten squeezer’, I’m going to go on the record to express my concern that, given 1984RFRs increasingly irrational responses, he might just be someone with genuine mental health problems
Given that everyone here knows these two allegations are complete bollocks, I’m going to go all out and say that within 24 hours you’ll be accusing us of doing a full colonoscopy on you without your consent (and not admitting that you secretly enjoyed it either).
By the way you should have that growth looked at.
Its also rather warming to know that a vast majority of the exhibits on here are written initially by said moderator. – 1984RFR
Total posts – 106
Posts by HYS mod – 6
Posts by 1984RFR – 10
Okay, proper scared now. Not of your ‘publish or police’ threat ‘cos that scares me less than when my brother used to wipe snot on his toys so I wouldn’t want to touch them, but of YOU. You are clearly either a real mental or this is a wind-up. For your sake, I really hope it’s the latter. Am with PiratePete on this matter* (do you also like bunnies, Pete? I do!).
Still, please come on here and tell us about the outcome of your chat with the cops: “So what you’re saying, Sonny, is that you got a weird text from someone you don’t know and then a single piece of spam email and you’ve put 2 and 2 together and made 5** and decided it HAS to be the work of a group of people on a website devoted to having a laugh at ignorant things other people say on another website, who all have nothing better to do with their lives than to club together to try and harass you for reasons not even clear to yourself?”…
PS Ever heard of apostrophes? Marvellous things they are.
*Hey, I’m a poet and I didn’t know it!
**See what I did there?
Incidentally, this has been but a brief sunlit sojourn for me. Real life calls and I must, for a while, away. Technically I shouldn’t even be using the computer after midnight, if you listen to my parole officer.
How do you “reverse” a text message? For extra credit, how do you reverse a text message that you never sent, to a number you don’t know, to somebody you don’t really care about, who may not even be telling the truth about having a text, or a mobile, or anything else?
More to the point, does “reverse texting” mean that the phone network pays you 12p each time you do it? If so, count me in!
Anyway, it will all be OK when 1984 returns for real because mobile phones will be the size of house bricks, won’t do texts and only yuppies will be able to afford them anyway. Problem solved! Glad to be of service.
and our bullshit detector said… NHAH NAH. Sorry 1984, Go to Newssniffer.com, search for ’1984returnsforreal’ and you’ll find all those ‘exhibits’, written by you, for all to see.
Is that some kind of celebrity gameshow like ‘Deal or No Deal’? It sounds great! A proper prurient Saturday Evening ITV Game Show for numbnuts.
PS, just so we can all join in this Publish or Police Time thing, copy and paste your dangerous 4.40 death threat email on to here. Come on, show us, you know you want too.
Ironically, I bet George Orwell would have been well impressed by the concept of a game show called ‘Publish or Police Time’.
Now then, who should the host be? Would Felix Dennis be too obvious a choice/pun?
Oh great! Now I’m consumed by guilt. Sometimes I hate being a hippy liberal. grrrr…
1984rfr… No-one here myseriously sent your wife weird shit in the middle of the night ffs! Get some perspective. Look at the pwetty birds and flowers instead of strutting up and down the cyber-highstreet bellowing ‘RIGHT, I’M GOING TO CALL THE POLICE… LOOK, I’M DIALING… REALLY I AM.’ You just look like a nob.
We don’t like HYS posters in here. When they turn up it’s like letting a cat loose in a kennel. (One day, inshallah, Topsy ‘the git’ Turvy will blunder in here and when he does… oh boy, is the fur gonna fly. And if he doesn’t come in with genuine mental health problems then the fucker’s gonna leave with them.)
I suggest you don’t try anymore ‘stern, morally outraged citizen’ bollocks, cos this website’s raison d’etre is to kick the shit out of ridiculous peoples’ attempts to tell the world what to do. So an HYSer crashing about SYB, shouting that he’s going to call the police is probably the most gloriously splendid bit of twatbasketry we have ever ever seen. Absolute Fact! I can’t see how it could ever be bettered to be honest. Congratulations. You win five pounds. But cos we are nice people (unlike the hate filled HYS) we are now worried you’re getting a bit ‘upset’. So, maybe you should go away now.
If your wife really did tell you yesterday that she’s pregnant, then go and be happy about that. Unplug. And leave HYS alone, it’s an addictive toxic waste site for some very strange, angry people.
@BitSpecial – yes I coo at bunnies, and like stroking puppies as well. And no, Gobbler, that is not an invitation!
@fp – the insomnia has been worth it tonight just for your last comment.
@Pirate Pete – he doesn’t need an invitation. I’d tell you to beware but you’ve brought it upon yourself.
I thank you and good night.
PS for some reason I thought 1984RFR’s wife had given birth. I think it was his other craziness confusing me. It certainly can’t have been my fault I misread it. So I would like to amend my comments about why he is on here when she’s just given birth, to why is he one here when he’s just got that wonderful news? It should have been obvious to me that she can’t have had the baby yet – there’s no hysterical breaking news on the BBC about a colossal hellmouth appearing in the UK (or elsewhere).
(Too far?)
At Ms Spesh, mayhaps a nadge too far methinks. The poor little tyke is only a tiny ball of cells and already it’s being batted about the internet for friperous amusment and point scoring. But then, it was a bit tacky of 1984 to try to cite the unborn to gain a few extra centimeters of psuedo-moral highground. btw, I’m a tree-hugger… no really.
Right. Erm… I’ll shut the door on my way out, shall I?
Anyone get a dawn raid from Mr Plod then? Guess his hot line to the Chief Constable is out of order (just one more thing for him to complain about).
Doesn’t need any comment.
Pure,unadulterated twatbasketry at it’s finest
Just dropped by for a Monday morning catch up and haven’t laughed so much for ages and now I’m going to be late for work (obviously, not to any sort of responsible job that requires discretion). Thank you to all you Sunday / late night SYBers and I’m now doing sum speshal prayers that Topsy will drop by one day……..that would just be too much fun…………right, better dash before the Sweeney take my doors off its hinges and tell me I’m nicked for technical wizadry
ALLRIGHT! THIS IS THE CYBER POLICE!!
WE’VE GOT THE WEBSITE SURROUNDED! EVERYBODY FREEZE!
PUT YOUR MICE DOWN AND DOWNLOAD YOUSELVES INTO OUR HIGH-SECURITY CACHE. AND DON’T TRY ANY FUNNY STUFF. I’VE GOT A VERY UPSET PREGNANT WOMAN HERE AND I WANT ANSWERS! MOVE IT DIRTBAGS!
More!
More!
Please bob more.
I want to know if the devious SYB cadre have been doing more black-ops to mess with hard working Ingerlish types.
I heard that they can ‘smell’ your postal address through their internet screens, and are responsible for all those pizza delivery leaflets.
I’ve only logged on to see what paranoid drivel SYBers haven’t inflicted on 1984RFR in the early hours of the morning… I’ll not be satisfied if one of us didn’t sneak into 1984′s house (not crushing his flowerbed whilst not at it) and not taking DNA tests whilst they all slumbered and not popping it on a police database…
Anything less just won’t be crrrazy enough for me. Bloody liberal cyber-terrorists.
What about David Beckham? Or Naomi Campbell?
alt-f4: The fictional (probably) rapture story reminded me of this little gem:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IVseBfMq_Dc
Blimey, I take the weekend off and pop in to see what’s happened … good grief.
Nelson, when they storm the server room I suggest you go quietly. Unless they are using Ghurka Trombonists who as you know take no prisoners. In that case you may as well fight to the death and try to take a few of those pesky Lumleyites with you. If I’m right.
Ob, disclaimer: I have not sent any text messages for days, not signed anyone up to dating sites. I know I certainly have not.
The text message said:
It can be removed if the original sender texts the following:
@CAPTAIN STERN, CYBER-POLICE
You’ll never take us alive copper
I don’t even own a mobile phone to get paranoid over. The wife banned me from having one when she found I was texting ex-girfriends lewd comments
Oh… and I have a really really sensitive job, more sensitive than 1984etc’s… I’d have to be careful about my number being traced through my IP address… or something.
on 04 Jul 2009 at 7:30 pm
on 05 Jul 2009 at 10:37 pm
rats cocks + “/”
sorry alt F4 – its not a real story… I don’t think.
http://www.snopes.com/religion/rapture.asp
Message for the old man: I’m at John’s, won’t be coming back. He’s the daddy.
Ah, shame
Mr Cat you’ve spoiled that one for me now!
1984thingy… it’s impossible to work out your mobile number from the info I’ve got (though, I didn’t actually check, it’s possible that you’re stupid enough to have leaked it via Facebook or something).
Anyway, rather than a technical solution, I actually used magic instead. If you go to the police I’m going to use more magic to prevent them from being able to imprison me.
There’s literally nothing you can do against this kind of power.
Mrs Throbbe works in government services in Camden and to the best of my knowledge has never had a cock, so there could be something in what you say.
What a truly brilliant thread – I can’t BELIEVE I missed all the action, buggrit. Especially since I finally got round to reading Nineteen Eighty Four*.
Nelson, would you magic up Topsy’s number and invite him (or his pregnant wife) to a discussion? Please?
*Which I thought was pretty good, although I was disappointed by the total absence of talking pigs.
Sorry to jump so far back in the thread, but:
Ed, I don’t suppose you looked at Dr Hazarika’s location? I’d love to see you write something more coherent in Hindi.
Yes, about 20 secs after posting it, it occured to me to check on it’s veracity
and I discovered the same. Appy-polly-logies.
Next time I post something without fact-
checking I will go and make 10 obviously false statements on HYS, qualifying them “FACT. END OF”, as remedial (or perhaps aversion) therapy.
Two quick points about the loon from HYS who has been posting on here:
1. All the pedantry about the Orwell book may be unnecessary. It could be that he is dreading some return to the year 1984 when we had the miners strike and all that.
2. Perhaps the offending text message was from someone who dislikes him or his wife independently of this site. Can he not face the possibility that he is loathed by people in the “real” world?
Age, IQ, what’s the difference?
Wrong thread. So apparently very little, in my case. *Sheepish grin*
YOUR comments are incredibly shite. Not the ones from the BNP/HYS message boards. Not the ones by Nelson and Alex at the top of the page. YOURS.
Good grief, who d’you mean? You sound a bit cross.
This is my first ever post on this site, although I’ve been an avid reader for a while. I hope I don’t waste it by forgetting to say that this 1984 fellow seems to me to be a misanthropic monkey minge.
I hope he comes back.
A quick check reveals that 1984yadayada is over at Moneysavingsexperts.com forums (where they mostly spend their time collaborating to win prizes in corporate ‘give-away’ competitions (if I’m right, bank, relax, I’m a catchphrase-oholic etc). He shows no hint of the terrible, pitiless mauling his psyche inflicted on him by mis-associating his bonkers midnight texts with our 48 gun broadside on his mental capacity.
I miss him. *sniff* I’m going to call the police, for old times sake.
… and your point is?
“YOUR comments are incredibly shite. Not the ones from the BNP/HYS message boards. Not the ones by Nelson and Alex at the top of the page. YOURS.”
But I didn’t post anything
I’m so depressed at having missed the nut-bashing. But I agree that we can’t ignore the possibility that 1984RFR appears to be so ignorant and stupid that he might genuinely be insane and the whole text episode may be a farce, and his ‘wife’ is actually a rotting sack of potatoes, and her ‘pregnancy’ is entirely imaginary…
let’s be fair, with the kind of monkey minge who thinks mobile numbers can be tracked using an IP address, anything is possible.
@ HYS moderator:
http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?p=23294289&highlight=#post23294289
He’s not getting much sympathy, even from the money-savers.
It’s pretty amazing what you can do online ..It was not that long ago that you were wondering who just called your when you were not
)
at home. Now you can only see who’s the unknown caller .. and also spy on who’s talking to your lover
It’s crazy … You can even find the address by a simple phone number.. Wonder what’s gonna come next ?