Miscellaneous Prats06 Jul 2009 06:17 pm
By Nelson
Thanks to whoever pointed me at the fountain of idiotic rimcheese over at the “The One Show” website.
Should schools allow to teachers to wear full-face veils?
The Burkha is supposed to be about the deflection of sexual attraction but what if the wearer meets a man who finds the burkha a turn on.
zergon
Damn right. The burkha doesn’t go far enough. If these buggers had any sense at all, they’d force their women to wear plate armour, covered in broken glass, dog spunk and photos of a smiling Melanie Phillips, squatting down and shitting into a Pringles tin.
56 Responses to “Hot In Burkha”
Wouldnt it just be easier for all men to be blindfolded (or for all woman to look like Melanie Phillips for that matter)?
The idea of Melanie Phillips covered in broken glass is actually rather lovely.
<blockquote?plate armour, covered in broken glass, dog spunk and photos of a smiling Melanie Phillips, squatting down and shitting into a Pringles tin
I’ve got a mate who runs a website catering for men with this specific taste.
A mate. Honestly. Not me.
Wasn’t there another topic earlier? I’m sure there was – it was about Eastenders and that shockingly fugly fella off of the One Show wearing shorts.
Unless I dreamt it?
The same could be said about nun’s habits in christendom, concerning which sexual fetishes abound – but this is not considered a conundrum. Far from it, sexy nuns are frequently used as a marketing device.
The logical outcome of zergon’s train, or rather rickshaw of thought can be seen in places such as Kuwait where men and women are simply forbidden from coming into any public contact whatsoever, even on the phone.
Two words: Beurettes Rebelles.
Yeah, where’s the earlier thread? Oh.. my… GOD – do you think 1984RFR is vreaking his rewengey on us by removing random stuff?
CENSORSHIP! Is there any difference between Stalin’s Russian and The SYB dictatorship nowadays? Brown got to you too, did he? How was the free Trip to Brussels on OUR Taxes you one-of-the-boys Eurocrat propaganda milk-sponge! We’ve been GAGGED! You can’t kept the silent mapority quiet forever Nelson! wE DEMAND A VOICE. oUR OPINION IS SACRASANCT. Don’t you Oprress us you left-wing facist!
You can take my life but you’ll never take my FREEDOM!
Two threads ave gone! The whole thing is unravelling.
The weather forecaster seemed very pleased to announce that the warm weather was coming to an end.
She’s in the market for an emotionally-themed weather forecast.
Presenters, for they will no longer be forecasters, will be properly attired and wear suitable expressions and viewers will always be able to press the Red button on their remotes for a gaurenteed forecast of happy sunshine broadcast from seasonally adjust sunny locations (weather permitting).
The weather forecaster seemed very pleased to announce that the warm weather was coming to an end.
She’s in the market for an emotionally-themed weather forecast.
Presenters, for they will no longer be forecasters, will be properly attired and wear suitable expressions and viewers will always be able to press the Red button on their remotes for a gaurenteed forecast of happy sunshine broadcast from seasonally adjusted sunny locations (weather permitting).
I reckon zergon himself fancies women in burkhas and this post is actually a plea for advice.
I spose it has its benefits, if you never see her face you can supplement in your mind whoevers face you want.
It better not be fucking raining for my UK holiday in 3 weeks time or I’ll be sending every member of the BBC weather team threatening texts at 4.42 am and then signing them up for dating websites. Cos that’s the way I roll, beyatches.
Christ on a fucking bike, my friend just sent me THIS link: http://www.viceland.com/wp/2009/07/babes-of-the-bnp/
It… is.. incom… oh, see for yourselves…
Bit Special: That’s the best thing I’ve read in ages!
“‘In terms of the BNP’s repatriation policy on immigration, if you had to choose, who would you repatriate first, Dizzee Rascal or Tinchy Stryder?’
The second one, because I’ve never heard of him and I like Dizzee Rascal.”
Oh dear, I wouldn’t want to meet no 1 down a dark alley – she looks a bit, well, liike she was dragged up so to speak. Although I adore the comment she makes in her ‘interview’ – “Fascist? I don’t understand that word” Oh dear… education a bit lacking was it love?
And with the second lot (lesbian overtones in that image perhaps?) I’m puzzled by this in the Q&A –
“Do you think the anti-BNP movement are too overtly black?”
What the **** is that question supposed to be insinuating??
The One Show blog had a debate: “Butter or margerine?”. There were dozens of entries.
Blimey Ms Spesh. That’s all kinds of wrong.
Spectacular.
Yes. If only they could explain themselves more clearly. Lucky they have you, eh?
They truly are immensely classy. I particularly love how no.1 really hates Nazis. Think she needs the one who came out with the above quote to explain things to her. Or, er, not.
Oh Spesh, what a find, thank you.
Mother would never let me talk to girls like that from the village. So now feeling a bit conflicted.
1984Returns for 2 weeks only with an all new cast featuring those plucky intellectuals… The BNP Babes….
Q: Shoes or Fascism, Girls?
A: Shoes.
Q: Politics or Eastenders?
A: Eastenders, def’nitly.
Q:Hitler or Mussolini?
A I y’aint never heard of the first one, but not Mussolini ‘cos I don’t like pasta, it gives me cellulitis.
Q: Shopping or Freedom.
A: Oh Shopping, *giggles* I could shop for England… err… I mean, Britain, *looks nervously off camera*
Q; Electoral Representation or Two Weeks in Magaluf?
A: (both squeal) The Luf! Wooo! Yeah! We luv The Luf! There was this time last year, right, when me ‘n’ Charleen, that’s me Jamaican friend from work, and we…. oh fuck… *looks off camera* Nick I’m really sorry. I didunt mean it.
Re The Disappearing Threads.
C’mon Nelson… You are quite within in your rights to do whatever the blue-arsed fuck you sodding well like with your website. We are uninvited guests who hangout at your place and squabble over the crumbs that fall from your table …no, that’s way too creepy and obsequious, I really wouldn’t write that, if I were you. People will think you’re weird… but, as a decent host, which you have shown yourself to be. Why/where/what happened to the Too Speedy thread? Have the Police confiscated it as forensic evidence as part of 1984rfr’s quest for justice? Perhaps you are, right now, lounging in the cells in Bow Street Nick only minutes away from a right proper hidin’. Our curiousity has been thoughroghly spiked. Are we to be left hanging?
Aww Danny, how cute! Genius.
From that viceland article (is it made up?):
FFS! C’mon!
La Spesh, where you were rummaging to find that, but thank you, you have confirmed my theory that there really should be some form of IQ test before you are allowed to vote, but looking at some of these ‘Ladies’ answers, I am surprised that they can get themselves dressed in the morning (a couple of them patently couldn’t from the pictures)-do these people really live here? Do these people really think like his on a day to day basis, I am shocked by what is plainly professional twatbasketry, this has really made my morning.I don’t think the Anti Nazi League has anything left to worry about if this is the quality of voter the BNP are recruiting these days.
Christ, it is like car crash interwebbing, I keep going back there as I cannot believe it.It has to be a piss take, nobody is that thick, please people tell me that this isn’t real and restore my faith in Ingerland.
I love this from the time travelling 23yr old
”The memory I have is the war, and how we fighted [sic] all the people in WWI and WWII, and it makes me proud to be British.”
That day she went over the top at Ypres was the best, true Brit grit.
Luverly… sinister leery wheezing … always on the look out for fresh material for the mag… rustle of crispy mac… these girls’ll do nicely… phlegmy chuckle turns to cough… thanks for the tip…
That’ll be the Ypres Niteklub in downtown Burnley where she had five alcopops, got her baps out, and showed all the shaven-headed lads her BNP knickers.
Those muslim men in muslimistan who have a deep primal need to be an outrageously glamourous tranny must find life a bit dull. Can you get Givenchy organza Burkhas in aquamarine and burgundy with mother of pearl Koranic decorations? (and sequins, obviously)
Having seen the photos of the *ladeez* in La Spesh’s extraordinary piece of internet trash then I would give my full support to the implementation of full burkhas for them all. Based on the earlier post, zergon would then find himself inexorably attracted to them and thus, a perfect match is formed. Although, to coin a phrase, won’t somebody think of the kids!!!
If, as a hypothetical solution to the problem of immigration, we turned over one city to immigrants and made them all live there in a sort of ghetto, what city would you choose?
Birmingham, because it’s full of them anyway.
Thank you, thank you, thank you. I am still wiping the tears of joy from my face.
Also, the thought of her sitting down for a political discussion with Nazi Danny??!!
I would tho’.
That BNP thing is surely a wind up – genius though – shame about the pics – they mean its a struggle to read their dull racist blahs at work because of the ropey pics thrown in.
What happens if you’re turned on by plate armour, covered in broken glass, dog spunk and photos of a smiling Melanie Phillips, squatting down and shitting into a Pringles tin?
Just a thought.
how did you manage to ge t a pciture of my wifer Jo with her mobiel???11! Have teh owners or agents of this site been accessing her phoen at 4.42AM in the morning at night? And how did you findd out my real name is Danny from my IP adress? Dfeinitly POLICE TIME now!!!
One of the BNP ‘babes’ (Helen – the third one who can’t remember how old she is) has attempted to defend herself in the Viceland comments section. Marvellous.
Yeeeees, and she seems to be reasonably OK with being thought of as a racist intellectual pigmy but quite upset that people think she’s as rough as your hat.
I am very upset about the missing threads. Clearly the “moderators” will claim that it’s a technical issue, or perhaps a legal one. But I don’t have to be a rocket scientist to see that this is all just a bit “convenient” with regard to what is happening in the news. A normal “legal” or “technical” issue would in now way lead to the loss of up to two threads for up to several days.
I’ve done so much good writing on here that I really think the least I can expect is that the “moderators” will provide me with a CD of all my contributions so I can look back over the missing minutes of greatness.
Come on BBC, play fair with your loyal contributors! I for one certainly would.
Re: the BNP bints – I think my fave bit is the word association game they play with one of them. Incredibly, she’s too thick to be properly racist – how does that work?!
“Golly… ? Wally” OH, COME ON!
Shall we have a savage bout of infighting over the fact that it’s a blatant windup and we are trying to pointscore off fictional characters, which makes us the gimps… or not? We don’t have to if you don’t want to.
If you are right @funny peculiar then is it 1984RFR getting his rewengee?
Finally, has anything amusing ever happened to you in connection with spoons?
Spoons? No. I don’t follow.
that used to be in private eye, ‘me and my spoon’
i can’t see the bnp being that clever really
Pringles in a tin?
Fred West or Steven Fry?
Steven Fry
Best. Interview. Question. Ever.
Bugger it, I’ve forgotten how to do them blockquote fellas. Now Chad will never ask me to the prom.
They are also ‘discussing’ MMR, with the usual quota of cognitively impaired twatbaskets:
“I was told by my paediatrician if you have a child diagnosed with autism, they recommend you not to have any more children vaccinated with the MMR. What am I supposed to do? I have 3 children all with autism, one had the jab, one only had one jab and one didn’t have any.”
Eh? What arse gravy is this? Can she not see the common factor here, and that MMR has nothing to do with it? Jeez.
I find women in burka’s attractive, so much so, I tried fucking a post box once.
“Yeah. I wouldn’t mind them if they actually worked and didn’t take all of our jobs, basically.”
Sorry Oaf, you beat me to it.
Woof??????
Down boy (or girl).
Indeed not. I happen to know – with what you might call intimate inside knowledge – that the entire party was cloned from used toilet paper in the Fuehrerbunker. Not really a strongly intellectual starting point.
The BNP Babes article is genuine.
http://www.facebook.com/Barbiegaal
blah
BlahBlahBlah
“What nationality would you most like to keep on in the UK?
African, because my nana’s African. She was a white African from somewhere next to Cape Town. She moved back here in 1987 or something. My granddad was in the RAF over there and she came back with him.”
What, was your nana an Albino, pet?
To be fair to the fun-witted BNP Babe, people can be African and white. Or are you going to do a BNP and call them racial foreigners?