Thanks to Alan for finding this one about the Channel 4 show “Inside Nature’s Giants” where they do autopsies on massive animals (I think).
I find the program offensive – it makes me feel sick. You wouldn’t show the autopsy of a human being on TV… I understand the importance to and interest of inspiring and existing veterinary professionals and appreciate it – but think this should be an optional “watch online” program – the amount of animal “harmers” and such that must watch this is unacceptable and the fact that adults and children know that animals are being cut up and “examined” for the entertainment or interest of people is not pleasant. I am upset at the adverts of this program and disgusted at the knowledge that these animals are being examined on television. I think this program should not be advertised on TV or should be advertised to interested parties only… or shown to them via the internet or recorded media. I somehow cannot believe that all the animals on the show died of natural causes or were happy to have their body examined on TV for the world to see. I appreciate the sharing of knowledge, but there is many cases which you would not share with everyone and anyone for certain reasons – and a show about cutting up animals should not be treated any different – it promotes animal cruelty un-directly – people get ideas from CSI – so people will get ideas from this program – and not feel ‘as’ guilty from acting upon their ideas because they are “only animals” – as some people think.
JANEFREE
Up until now I’ve used garden tools and fireworks to damage animals the old-fashioned way but this is really going to open up a new world for me. Soon I could be kicking a horse’s lung off or giving a giraffe an unwanted vasectomy.
65 Responses to “Massive Meat Harmers”
” You wouldn’t show the autopsy of a human being on TV”
They did. Over a week long TV series. My wife used to video it and watch it at breakfast which was a little worrying.
”people get ideas from CSI” what sort of ideas Jane? Hanging around in sunglasses looking cool and drinking coffee? I agree that sort of behaviour should not be tolerated especially if children are watching. And another point”only shown to interested parties”-if it wasn’t advertised how would the interested parties know about it-think these things through woman before you bleating on, you really are making yourself look like a meerkats front bottom-ripe for autopsy.
“I somehow cannot believe that all the animals on the show died of natural causes or were happy to have their body examined on TV for the world to see.”Have you ever see the last will and testament of a Donkey? or for that matter any animal? How do you know it was not their dying wish? You assume once more dear lady, and are making yourself look, quite frankly,like the arse end of a rogerred chimp. Think before you bleat girl.
I like the way she demands that the program should be shown ‘optionally’ – as though her TV has fused itself on, and refuses to show anything but Channel 4.
Although I am also concerned that some of the animals weren’t happy about their bodies being used for the program. Perhaps Channel 4 should have obtained a certificate or something?
Interesting thought for TV series-HYS’ers Autopsy. Where we could stone some of the greatest twats on there and then chop them up to see what made them tick. There must be a part of the brain that is called the racistbigot twatbasket,where all the thoughts are formed.
Did channel 4 show the usual disclaimer about ‘no animals were harmed during filming’?
Nick Griffins’ drowned Immigrant animal autopsy show.
No animals *were* harmed during the film – it was an animal autopsy program not an animal slaughtering program.
Though I think they’ve already done that.
I found the programme interesting and informative. I learned that a whale’s epiglottis looks like a nineteen pound clit.
A television show being… optional? My god… I never imagined the possibility! Quick, somebody, get this girl a Nobel Prattery prize!
“HYS’ers Autopsy.”
Who’d've thought they’re just an all-too-thin layer of skin, ready to burst with foetid bile? Oh, right. Us.
>blockquote>There must be a part of the brain that is called the racistbigot twatbasket,where all the thoughts are formed.
Apparently it’s located just above Shatner’s Bassoon.
Fucksocks
“Apparently it’s located just above Shatner’s Bassoon.”
Now that is scientific fact – there’s no real evidence for it – but it is scientific fact.
By a curious coincidence, JANEFREE looks like a nineteen pound clit too, she’s just less fun.
No animals were harmed in the formation of my username.
Bit Special is a bit quiet today. Are you watching the cricket, Spesh?
Aslo, If you’re really bored you should have a look at the “no one’s eating school dinners” thread.
http://newsforums.bbc.co.uk/nol/thread.jspa?sortBy=2&forumID=6718&start=15&tstart=0&edition=1&ttl=20090709153254#paginator
What an utter hippo’s helmet. I would advise no one to “Take a 15 year old boy as an example.” All very upsetting…
“I know what I did 45 years ago”
We really don’t want to know what you did 45yrs ago, but I bet it involved calling black folk ‘darkies’ beating the wife with a large stick and sending the kids down the mines whilst you and your mates sat in the pub with your pint of mild and a woodbine-what a tossbag
So don’t watch it then.
In Britain it is called POST MORTEM. Autopsy is the Amerikan expression. You have obviously been watching far too much telly.
Animals do not have human emotions, and they do not understand the concept of watching television.
I’d like to slag you off some more for being an aggorant little shit who thinks its acceptable to impose your own views on others, but I’m off home now having spent a hard day at work trying to persuade my boss to allocate me a large-breasted female intern for the summer. She has to pass the elbow test.
I could be wrong but I seem to remember reading that most donkey wills are solely concerned with donating all their carrots to a little old lady sanctuary.
They’re generally pretty chilled about being hacked to bits on telly.
That Bloke in the Corner
I suspect I could not agree with you more. I bet the kids near his house love him, talking about his feckless youth avoiding luncheon meat by smoking in parks…
I misread the title of this post as “Massive Meat Hammers” first time round, and even it’s pithy genius cannot fully salve my disappointment at this not being the case.
I’ve not seen the program in question, but I now imagine it is hosted by MC Hammer.
Menendo – I had that exact same experience. I’m still holding onto the mental image. It’s not a pretty sight.
Am I fook watching the cricket!
@pigfrots (?) – I work p-t and can’t use t’interwebs there (am on bus home now). I spend the rest of my time: trying in vain to get funding for my PhD/deluding myself that the book I’m writing (not ‘They Spoke Their Branes’) is any cop/at the gym/wanting a baby/spending too much time on here.
This latest choice offering has left me almost speechless. It is sublime in its twatbasketry. I do want to know, however, if the fucksocks ARE located in/on the feet.
JANE FREE, as free as the wind blows, as free as the grass grows….
everyone Ive shown this too gets a brain pain from trying to work out how she came to these conclusions. Glad you used it
I was going to pick up on Jane Free’s idea of compulsory television and animal consent BUT like so many HYSers she may just have hit upon a brilliant idea [stay with me] .
The Japanese and Norwegians want to chase whales – Jane (I suspect) and others don’t like the idea of whales being harpooned.
So why not PAY THE WHALERS TO FIRE DONOR CARDS AT WHALES :-
In the event of my being washed ashore dead on an Irish beach I do/ do not consent to my body being used for dissection.
Would need waterproof ink, and not quite sure how our blubbery friends could hold a pen, but …….
My god! There are places called butchers and fishmongers where you can just go in and look at bits of dead animals lying around for anyone to see. And these places are full of vile perverts of the sort who love to mutilate animals. Some people even pay money for the bits of dead animals and then take them home! This must be stopped! It promotes animal cruelty and all sorts of pie and casserole!
Perhaps they could stick in their blowhole? Or hold it in their teeth like that Alison Lapper. Don’t know what they’d rest the card on though, any ideas?
I’m pretty sure the sheep we slaughtered last month would have objected had it had the power of speech and the means to retain a solicitor. But it didn’t, so we cut it’s throat, lopped it’s head off, skinned and gutted it, chopped it up, grilled it, then shared the meal with the dog.
The surprising thing was how big sheep’s bollocks are. The one that Tim Roth supposedly ate in The Cook, The Theif, His Wife, and Her Lover was far too small.
But that’s the difference between watching telly and the real world. Sheep’s bollocks are larger than you think. I bet Jane didn’t learn that on Channel Four.
To be honest, I am “appalled”, simply “APPALLED”, not only at Janefree’s use of malapropisms and at her “cake-decoration” use of speech marks, but also, and most especially, at her buggered-to-fuck tortuous embedded prepostional phrases and clauses. Not only are they pseudo-intellectual and affected, not least in the hands of one, in all truth, so incapable, but, which is worse, CHILDREN COULD BE READING THIS HORROR YOU HEARTLESS COW!!! I dread to think of the “harm” your twisted grammar has ‘afflicted’ at, to, on, in, for, through and over our “CHILDREN!”.
CHILDREN!!!!!!
alt-f4, can I take those unnecessary apostrophes you put in your “it’s”? I need them for the tickets on my fruit stall, otherwise nobody will know how much my apple’s and banana’s are.
I liked the bit about it being interesting to inspiring veterinarians. The inspiring need their inspiration too.
Okay, that’s a bit weak. I’m still worried about Nick Griffin sinking my boat.
Hmmm… I wonder what floats Nick Griffin’s boat?
Only if you don’t mention the spelling mistakes.
@fp
His grotesque, obscene layer of blubber.
What floats Nick Griffin’s boat? Surely it would be an Ingerlish Oak yacht full of babes from the BNP serving good honest Ingerlish chips (not ones made out of inferior Irish spuds) wrapped in pages of Mein Kampf with a huge deck cannon, anchored just off the straits of Gibraltar targeting poor unsuspecting illegal econonmic (cos they are not escaping anyting but poverty) African rafts
Janefree migh have a point. After watching the show I was feeling a litle frisky, restless and needed a little stimulation.
Obviously, I could have slammed my head in the fridge door for half an hour but the programme gave me an exciting idea.
Grabbing my craft knife from under the cushion on the sofa, I left the house and went into the cow field up the lane that runs by the side of my house.
There were a few fine specimens asleep on their feet but finally selected one that looked a little smug for my liking.
As quick as a flash I’d filleted the little bastard and hung it’s entrails like macabre bunting in the trees.
Theodore, you should have filmed it and posted it on the interwebs, but only advertised it to interested parties.
I wouldn’t like to see any bunnies or kittens in an autopsy, I like them.
Hmmm… I wonder what floats Nick Griffin’s boat?
I thought he preferred to sink them?
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/8141069.stm
I liked the bit about it being interesting to inspiring veterinarians. The inspiring need their inspiration too.
My mate Jon was on it. He is an inspiring veterinarian, and looked interested.
Oooh, giblets
If she doesn’t like animals being chopped up for educational resons why did she watch it?
I saw the whale one and found it rather interesting.
Eeeeh eeeeeh eeh, k kk kk kaaa k, eeeh ee k kk k
Allow me to set out my evidence:
And a couple from the programme in question:
Thus proving the programme a generally good idea and something to which any animal would be proud to donate its body after it was finished with it; a progenitor of awesomeness, despite JANEFREE’s odd objection.
At least we now know the first name of Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells. JaneFree (as JaneFree as the wind blows) is clearly the twatbasketing assclown who writes all those ‘I was so disgusted I had to watch the whole programme’ letters.
Still, I am very worried – no whale or elephant will be safe on our streets once da yoof ov 2day get bored of knifecriming each other and turn on giant mammals instead. I also think animals should not be cut up unless they’re being turned into delicious meaty produce or lovely new shoes for meeeee. Dissecting a dead animal in a mature, respectful and awestruck manner in the name of science is sick.
I once watched an entire episode of The Jeremy Kyle Show (I had stomach flu and couldn’t find the remote). I am now a 25-stone 18 yr-old in pink fake Ugg boots with 5 kids by different fathers, needing a paternity test to find out who the father of little Kiora-Leigh* is. I can’t wait for those ‘all important test results’ – this bloody scraped-back ponytail is giving me a migraine, innit.
*This is the real name of the granddaughter of a woman I used to work with. It took everything I had not to ask her if the next grandchild would be called Um Bongo.
what a bag of toss shittery wankshaft
I’m a primary school teacher and I agree with Jane. I’m very concerned. Before these programmes the Nature Table in my form room generally consisted of snail shells, birds eggs and conkers. However, since the broadcast, my table now contains a hemisphere of dog’s brain, a sheep’s penis, a complete set of the class hamster’s intenal organs and a bizzare scultpure made from coathangers, tinsel and horses’ eyes. (The last one was from Kirsty, she’s a bit… special.)
“Inside Nature’s Giants” – did it have David Attenborough strolling through a huge dark tunnel, wearing a miner’s helmet and saying, “and here in the lower intenstine we can finally see what happened to those Greek sailors who dared to challenge the Kraken’s mighty jaws at the start of the programme…”
I’d like to see a programme in which children undergo a pre-mortem. Pre-mortems are exactly the same as port-mortems but, as the name implies, are carried out on live specimens.
As a teacher could you arrange that?
Fucking imposter!
Thinking about THE CHILDREN and TV…
Cast:
Peter: a 49 year old teacher with an eccentric moustache.
Kathy: a 14 y.o. sexually mature pupil with magnificent breasts.
Jack: a spotty little 14 y.o. cunt that fancies kath something rotten.
Scene: An ordinary church-run school where extra-ordinary and bogus science is being indoctrinated.
Teech: Kathy, stop talking and get on with your work.
Kathy: Fuck off you bald old cunt.
(Kathy proceeds to rip up her textbooks)
Teech: Class dismissed.
(As Kathy leaves the class Peter aims a kick at her handbag).
Peter: If you damage church, I mean school property, your property will get damaged as well.
Jack: Oi, leave her alone you peodphile bastard.
Peter: You fucking little shit. I’m going to fuckign have you.
(Peter picks up a weight from the Newtonian educational scales and throws it at Jack. His aim is perfect and the weight clocks Jack a corker right between the eyes, caving in most of his forehead. Jack fulls to the floor writhing in agony. Peter falls upon him, picks up the weight, and repeatedly bashes the living fuck out of Jack’s head. Blood pisses everywhere, spraying on the walls, the ceiling, and all over Kathy. The camera poignantly zooms in to a lingering close-up of rivulets of Jack’s crimson life-juice flowing through her amazingly fresh young clevage.)
Peter: Cuntcuntcuntcuntcuntcuntcuntcunt…
END OF.
You couldn’t make it up.
And as far as I can tell, that’s the only difference.
I’m genuinely amazed that she thinks someone was doing this out of some morbid desire to sully the minds of the public.
alt-f4,
You worry me on so many levels.
talking loosely of intestinal investigation ever since that knob end HYSer crashed into our site my work computer has been block filtering us “extremepolitics”
I have had to start not working from home. It’s very inconvenient.
It worries me as well. I know HTML and could have formatted that so much better. But that’s flippancy for you.
You might also enjoy this. As I got off my train this morning there was this stunning business lady in front of me. Tall. Slim. Immaculately dressed. Beautiful. As we walked down the stairs she was directly in front of me and I had a perfect view of her smoothed-skinned, perfectly-formed neck that was so slender you could have snapped it like a matchstick.
God bless the Daily Mail. Some young hot head dies running with the Bulls and they say…
That’s right, cos those hunt-sabs are all foriegn eurocrats.
Yeah, the lazy do-gooding fuckers.
(the mail has not allowed a comments board on the teacher who took a stand for all us teachers everywhere and tried to ice a mouthy little chav.)
That’s why I had to post my dramatisation above. But I don’t think it would have got past a commercially moderated site, despite it being a largely accurate portrayal of what went down, even to the level of the dialogue.
The bit about Kathy’s tits I made up in order to add a bit of glamour.
alt-f4 ‘n’ fp – I had the misfortune to go to school near Mansfield and I can tell you that the entire fucking population of that shit-tip deserve their heads caving in and then some.
(Feeling sliiiightly guilty now… nah, fuck it, it is Mansfield after all. And a Catholic school. And they always used to beat us at hockey. Cunts)
Hold on, was that your letter in Readers Victims?
A nineteen pound clitoris?
You have to fork out £50 at least round our way.
Here’s a nugget from the Brandon Life (Local, Informative, Factual and Entertaining it claims). Eddie Stewart holds court with his cliqued opions, whining about political correctness and “elf n’ safety”, witlessly punctuated by “you couldnt make it up” and “going to hell in a handbasket”. He genuinely believes his cousins bests mates hairdresses son has been banned from sing “Baa Baa Blacksheep” at their made up nursery… You get the idea… he’s a cock… I present his latest rant, since it’s on topic.
Yep that right, Eddie Stewart has read a book he agrees with, the word is saved. Thousands of peer approved research be damned, it’s just not scientific anymore (had they only thought to slip bollocks into the title of a couple of them and maybe they’d be taken seriously
“But that’s the difference between watching telly and the real world. Sheep’s bollocks are larger than you think.”
I know someone who castrated a lamb with his teeth on a reality TV show. Not only was the sheep underage, it hadn’t signed a consent form for the footage to be broadcast.
I love Jane’s idea that by making it available only on the internet that weirdo animal harmers and sociopaths won’t be able to see this programme.
What does she mean by “interested parties”? Is she thinking of maybe a link from a necro-zoophiliac site?
If they ever watched the end of CSI, they’d know the criminals always get caught! Also the real police have access to real scientists who have data analysis equipment that isn’t a photocopier, so they’re even more likely to actually get caught.
Every data analysis machine on CSI is ‘the machine that goes ping’, if you’re basing your criminal activities on what you see on that show you deserve everything you get.
And they did a human autopsy on TV, as well as live surgery. Presumably JANEFREE missed that one, I think it was on around the same time as the 3am repeat of Jeremy Kyle.