Delusions of Grandeur and The Regular Twats16 Jul 2009 09:23 am
By Nelson
Thanks to Sarah for this one from Times Online. This looks very much like the work of the same “rjaggar” from this post the other day. I had a look around and realised we’ve featured him before as well.
If it takes an insider like you 3 years to get your pound of flesh, what hope for an outsider rebel like me, particularly one who has probably enraged the CIA and, more notably, Dick Cheney, in addition to more normal ‘usual suspects’ within New Labour?
Rhys Jaggar, Leeds, UK
The CIA and Dick Cheney are indeed powerful enemies but I can’t believe that even they could suppress a genius like yours. Why aren’t you on telly or something? Maybe God thinks you’re a dick.
279 Responses to “Massive Rhys”
I don’t know what scares me more about people like Rhys Jaggar, the fact that they have access to the internet or that they really believe the bollocks they are spouting.
Rhys,
Relax, I’ve checked http://www.fbi.gov/wanted.htm at you’re not in their list.
Fight The power, Brother !!!
Rhys,
The girl that you wrote that book (http://ifyoulikeitsomuchwhydontyougolivethere.com/2008/07/18/believe/) for that might get you killed. Was it Condoleezza_Rice. Is that why Dick Cheney is enraged?
Laura Bush?
Mrs Cheney?
Sara Palin?
I’m all out of names, and got work to do.
Cherie Blair (neé Booth)?
*née* Booth.
Fucknuts! And goodnight.
I just checked with both the CIA and Dick Cheney, and they are convinced you are a goat’s gonad of no importance.
Sleep easy.
Huh! And Jaggar reckons he’s got cred cos he’s made enemies of War-mongering vice presidents and the CIA. You ain’t seen nothing yet, buster! You’ve got the SYB Special Ops on his ayAss now. Fuck waterboarding and “enhanced interviewing techniques”, sonny. We’re comin’ atcha with sarcasm (*KAPOW!*), derision (*WHAM!*) and alliterative animal genitalia similies (*BLAMMO!*) Stalking Internet Libruls are way worse than the girly CIA or dictatorial ex-VPs. For one thing, we’ve actually noticed you exist, you ridiculously myopic mallard’s muff.
Maybe that should have read “The SYB Bit Special Ops” – ba boom ching!
Although he is right in thinking most of us hate him, Mandy does admire his chutzpah.
Don’t forget the bad sandwiches – after a few days of eating those, Jaggar will see the light (or have gastroenteritis, whichever happens first). And the pedantry; it’s the technique even the Chinese would shy away from.
Am I now our official torturer? This perturbs my wimpy Grauniad-reading soul. Bit Special Ops is v flattering, tho’. To arms*, comrades!
*Keyboards.
I’ve noticed that Rhys Jaggar is an anagram of “Jah’s Gay – GRR”.
Surely that proves something.
Please please please can somebody clever engineer it so that 1984RFR and our friend Rhys here get in touch. Two such massively paranoid wankstains would be a sight to behold! What do you think readers? Would the force of two such beings cancel each other out or would there be a crescendo of ranting and spittle resulting in double spontaneous detonation………………either is good for me if you’re asking……….which I’m sure you’re not.
Well duh! That’s because THE MAN is keeping him down and denying him access to the airwaves, in case he broadcasts his revolutionary messages and destabilises the New World Order.
Preferably by text at 4:42am.
Is it like Black Squadron? Do we get buns?
BBC thread. How important is space exploration?…
here HYS addict Adrian Mugridge (a twat of such vast proportions that I want to reach down the internet and strangle him) goes beyond the normal ranting at politicians and immigrants and exclaims “Pull your socks up, mankind, for god’s sake.”
Just what is man playing at? Just WHAT is man playing at? Tchah!
Either someone’s been watching too much Garth Marenghi, or someone’s a bit of a tit.
Muggridge clearly hasn’t been paying attention to his HYS comrades or he’d know that man has never been to the moon. It was a giant con just like nuliebore.
ZaNooLieBore if you don’t mind!
It took the finest minds in the land* months** to think of that!
* – self important arse dicks
** – nicked from the Sun.
You speak for yourself.
On the Telegraph at the moment we have features and comments on:
1) Why the moon landing was faked
2) UFOs photographed by lunar astronauts
Now, one doesn’t need to be an expert in cognitive dissonance to see the contradiction here (even with a pretty wide definition of ‘cognition’).
Just a taster:
Sigh… so much material, so little time…
PS. Is that a Predator drone circling Leeds? Best not go to any wedding parties there just in case.
Back to TMS.
I would like to be one of those too. Is there a starter pack or induction scheme or something please?
Are you undergoing transcranial magnetic stimulation in order to study the effects of tweedily half-baked Telegraphic asininity on the human brain? Or are you going to laugh at them and listen to the cricket?
Yeah, me too. I sent him a CD of nine different performances of the big trombone solo from Mahler 3, introduced by Joanna Lumley and the 1st Battalion, Royal Gurkha Rifles. I’m doomed, frankly, aren’t I?
You see? It was all a fiendishly clever plan by von Braun and the other nazi rocket scientists! They foresaw that their work would lead to globe-spanning media networks with which the successors of National SOCIALISM could brainwash the world’s populace into giving up its freedoms and bowing down to the new Ubermenschen such as, er, Ed Miliband and, er, Alan Sugar. Um.
It’s quite a mystery really. I have trouble breathing here on Earth when there is no wind.
But there is wind on the moon. haven’t you seen that film of the flag fluttering in the wind? (and Neil Armstrong flying a kite from the back of the lunar rover).
1) It wasn’t “the Russians” it was “the Soviets”. It’s like saying “England” when you mean “UK”.
2) If it was hoax to beat the Soviets, then why is it that the lunar rover that the Soviet Union had on the moon before the yanks landed was driven over to the yank landing site to take pictures of the lander? If the moon landings were faked, then the Soviet Union helped them fake it by faking their own independent pictures.
Rhys, please, if you must be a paranoid numpty, please go and do it for the right, we libruls prefer to hold on to our credibility a little tighter than that.
“…well they didn’t fool me or anyone else with half a brain.”
At least Carl Pain is honest
Does he sign off his posts as Knob, Russia (NOT USSR!)
World of Wankcraft™
http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2009/jul/16/moon-landings-conspiracy-theories
Man on the moon? Yeah, right
Open thread: Apollo 11 was launched 40 years ago today. But do you believe the moon landings really happened?
Could be worth watching…
“and yet we have never been back to the moon”
What about Wallace and Grommit? It was on the telly and everything, you can even get the DVD, Gibbons warty gonad.
It was Apollo 17 that the Soviet rover visited, so I’ve learned. So it wasn’t there before the moon landings as I said above.
Also, on further thought, simply sending a rover to look at an abandoned lander does not actually prove that men were in it. It would have been better if the CCCP had pre-placed a well-armed, re-entry capable lander at the site, shot Armstrong, and returned his body to Moscow for public display.
So the conspiracy theory still stands, I’m afraid. >:-(
Good point TBitC.
And don’t forget The Clangers.
If we didn’t go to the Moon, who filmed them then?
I wonder if Commander Koenig is going to jump in on the HYS thread – he could definitely put them to rights on the whole ‘moon landing hoax’ thing.
As any fule know, the moon was blasted out of earth orbit ten years ago… the one you see at night these days is only a model.
@ RadiatorLizard
Does this require a foil hat? I’ve got mine ready…
If any of those HYSers find their way to Alpha, I’ll maroon them out at the nuclear waste dumps. Or set Maya on them.
Was Maya the one with the Rice Crispie unibrow ??
She was hot!
Indeed. Just as well they don’t fly into space in computers – today’s models would be far too small.
I bought a car in 2001 and it had 15″ wheels. I bought one this year and it had 18″ wheels. Therefore I surmise that the car cannot have been invented in 1889 [i]as the liberal media likes to claim[/i] because its wheels would have been too small.
The HYS thread called ‘Will British Troops Succeed in Afghanistan?’ is an eye opener. Lots of posts say “Our Boys” won in Iraq (HYS fails to give specific details to support this claim but I get the impression we scored the winner in extra time and the war’s finished now… So we won!
Yay for us!)
As for Afghanistan, we’re winning there too! And this just goes to show, apparently, that even with freedom-hating, librul apologists supporting the terrorists, “Our Boys” (aka ‘Our Brave Boys’, ‘The Lads’, ‘The Lads and Lasses’, ‘The Lads in Uniform, ‘Our Hereos’, etc) are great and just can’t lose (unless those useless politicians sell them down the river, obviously). War’s fucking ace when you’re winning! I’m going to run round and round the garden pretending to be a Spitfire…
What’s up with the rss feed? It’s not displaying the whole post
@ Tegid
A tinfoil hat is a prudent accessory in every conceivable situation. (Except this one, because it wouldn’t work.)
I’ve got the potential to be far worse than the Nazis. But everybody refuses to recognise my potential. Give me a uniform and I think I’m Hitler.
The moon was defended by the X Bomber. anything else is heresy.
http://www.sfxb.co.uk/
I think you’re confusing her with Worzel Gummidge. Remeber that time he had to put his thinking head on and stop Rumpole of the Bailey running amok all over the moon in a spaceraft powered by giant deeley-boppers?
And, ergo, Gordon Brown has the potential to be a greater leader than Churchill and the potential to be revered by HYSers. All those who denigrate our potential glorious leader are potential traitors. Fact (potentially).
I think “man” should immediately return to Button Moon especially considering the technology at our disposal.
We’re off to Button Moon, we’ll follow Mr. Spoon,
Button Moon, Button Moon.
“Why aren’t you on telly”
Maybe his homosexual technique just isn’t up to the standard required here & at the BBC?
I’ve just been conducting a bit of google sleuthery and have found that Mr Rhys Jaggar turns out to be a serial twat. He is a complete blog addict – writes on the Daily Mail, Telegraph etc blogsites. He is completely up his own arsehole – see: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/…/Lets-be-honest-there-are-losers-and-winners-in-this-world.html for two magnificent examples of why SYB exists.
What it is with the feeble-minded and their homophobia?
Neil, I hate to disappoint you but this is the 21st Century, a period of history in which men, hetereo or otherwise, no longer take offence at being called gay. It just makes you look backward.
Damn link didn’t work:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/comment/5438066/Lets-be-honest-there-are-losers-and-winners-in-this-world.html
The man is quite mental.
It really isn’t.
Neil Craig
“Why aren’t you on telly”
Maybe his homosexual technique just isn’t up to the standard required here & at the BBC?
…………..
Its a well known FACT that the BBC only employs poofs who support MMGW theory, Like Jezza “NancyTreeHugger” Clarkson. A whole blog devoted to absolute bollocks Neil, well done, its like your own personal HYS. Brilliant!
alt-f4
Maybe his homosexual technique…
What it is with the feeble-minded and their homophobia?
Neil, I hate to disappoint you but this is the 21st Century, a period of history in which men, hetereo or otherwise, no longer take offence at being called gay. It just makes you look backward.
…………….
To make sure Gays aren’t coming to get you? Sorry.
I would like to thank Neil Craig for promoting feelings of nostalgia- after all I haven’t heard anyone using the “You’re just gay” retort to try to win an argument since I left primary school in 1988.
Still he seems to have good grammar for an 11 year old.
Seems like a nice boy:
http://9percentgrowth.blogspot.com/2007/04/candidates-personal-statement-neil.html
Hang on, you mean all you blokes on here AREN’T gaying each other left, right and centre (but mainly left, ho ho)? But I only post here for the hot gay sex voyeurism.
To be fair to the red-hot love god Neil Craig, his retort is quote sophisticated FOR A MENTAL. Suggesting that anyone who disagrees with you is homosexual is at least the level of a 7 yr-old, whereas most HYSers and their ilk are only at the level of a 5 yr-old.
PS What, exactly, IS ‘homosexual technique’? This? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Felching
I demand explanatory charts and diagrams of ‘homosexual technique’. Preferably featuring massive cocks*. Thank you.
*And by that I mean penises. Not people like Neil Craig, Topsy or 1984 RFR. Though I would pay good money to see their particular 3-way crazyman gangbang.
Ohgodicantbreatheicantbreathe
Perhaps Neil’s problem with homosexuals is the fact they are a demographic made up entirely of people who will never fancy him. He’s probably a mysogynist too. With the exception of his strokey, strokey love of Sarah Palin.
QUITE sophisticated, arsebuckets*.
*The latest craze in homosexual technique. Possibly.
Oh man, Neil’s other blog is just as hilarious!
Yes, how inconvenient for them that your observation of a changing climate refutes their suggestion that climate change is happening!
Can it really be true that Neil is the only member of his own political party?
It is tooooo perfect?
I seem to have, metaphorically, touched a sore spot among all these glad to be gay BBCistas. In fact if you had read the point before commenting you would have seen that i was not decrying whatever you want to as long as it doesn’t frighten the horses but prostitution for advancement, which, even in the BBC, is not entirely homosexual.
Kelvin you clearly have an even greater comprehension problem – declining world temperatures do indeed tend to contradict the theory that we have fast rising world temperatures.
I take it you merely using your left brane hemisphere here to say I am wromg while it is the right brane hemisphere that said, on my own blog, that everything I had written was logical, evidence backed & well explained.
Prat.
Sexy Neil (I’ve been wanking over his picture) is also the Nostradamus of our times
[QUOTE]A significant factor in what is now called the 2nd Enlightenemnt was the unexpected & catalytic effect on all parties of the vote for the 9% Growth Party in the 2007 election which cemented in place the SNP’s comitment to corporation tax cuts & Jack McConnell’s words in the same direction while encouraging the SNP to drop their opposition to nuclear power. The Forth tunnel was a useful bonus adding to the massive housebuilding boom following the relaxation of building restrictions. These & other progressive technology projects led to Scotland achieving one of the higher growth rates in the world & now in 2020 gives Scotland a GNP triple what she had before the 2007 election. Tonight she will again try to persuade her mother to consider emigrating to the 2nd British Isles L5 Space Settlement when it is opened to non-industrial habitation in 3 years. Her doctor advises that with her heart condition the low gravity should extend her life by up to 30 years, & make an active life even easier. By that time he is certain the worldwide reseach effort coordinated at the University of Islay will have been able to reverse aging. [/QUOTE]
I think David Icke now has some serious competition
Bugger, blockquotes foil me again.
Hang on, you mean all you blokes on here AREN’T gaying each other left, right and centre (but mainly left, ho ho)? But I only post here for the hot gay sex voyeurism.
——
You too La S ???
@ Neil Craig – Kelvin is never ‘wromg’, how dare you!
I’m not a gay BBCista – though it must be ace to work in a really open-minded, creative well-paid environment. You’re clearly as jealous as I am.
Yes, dear. Just like Mein Kampf was.
PS Can I have a signed photo of you naked? Cheers.
Well, you’ve got me there. I guess that’s why they now call the theory “global warming” as our greater understanding of the complexity of the Earth’s climate leads us away from the foolish notion that changes in temperature difference in the large oceans could shut down the convection mechanisms that distribute the sun’s heat away from the equator leading to expanding desert belts but making some temperate areas colder as they no longer enjoy the supply of warm air from the tropics. But you obviously know more about this than me – we’re not all lucky enough to have a small imp sat on our shoulders telling us every conclusion we jump to is the right one.
Another hit, a palpable hit! I shall reproduce for posterity my admission:
I guess there’s no arguing with that, unless you somehow believe words can convey meaning beyond their bare faces. Some sort of “sub” to the text perhaps.
Just looked at Neil Craig’s profile – 50s, divorced and owns a branch of Forbidden Planet!!
He’s Comic Book Store Guy from The Simpsons.
I claim my five pounds (not euro!*).
* can I have it in euro though ? I don’t live in UK!
@Ceannair – phwoooargh, eh? PHWOOOARGH!
The year 2001 was loads warmer than the 2000, therefore global warming must have restarted in 2001. See how daft your argument is?
Temperatures fluctuate year-on-year. Always have, always will (El Nino, major volcanic eruptions, even solar changes are a minor influence). It is the trend that is important, not the maximum value. Besides, should someone who calculates that the Scottish Climate Change Bill will cause the deaths of 6,346,050 Scots over the next 91 years really be lecturing on statistical analysis?
@Ceannair (again) – Comic Book Guy AKA Jabba The Video (as I called him) used to run the video store near my parents’ house… could it have been the one and only studmuffin N C? He didn’t have a Scottish accent, mind. But then again, he did generally just grunt whilst staring at your tits. Anyway, I digress.
Speshykins, he probably just stared trying to work out why they were in 3D as he’d only seen paper ones in his “special books”.
Either that or wondering where your staples where.
Please keep the explicit talk down a bit – my friend’s dog is getting “restless”. And I think you know where that can lead …
@ Bit Special – I’ve waited my whole life for you to admit you are a Big Lezzy Media Whore. Well, the past six months anyway. Shall we go lez it up at the BBC? After I’ve procured a shag from the sex bomb that is Neil Craig, of course. Rowr! Fight you for him?
Sorry to be Little Ms Super-Poster (bored, on day off), but N C has actually admitted his own insanity:
The Left Brain (or brane) is the site of logical processes – hence K is right to say NC is wrong (or wromg). The Right Brain (or brane), which N C uses* to tell himself he is right and logical, is the site of random, intuitive, non-linear and non-logical thinking. Hence, he’s talking bollocks.
As any fule kno.
*This is, of course, presuming his brain/brane** plays an actual part in his so-called hypotheses.
**At least us massive libbrul gaybos can write, spell and use grammar properly.
Please keep the explicit talk down a bit – my friend’s dog is getting “restless”. And I think you know where that can lead …
—————
Ssssshhh, you said l – e – a – d.
If he’s like my dog Gobbler will hear those letters and be on us like Neil Craig on an Ann Widdecombe love doll.
@Rosie – (Dolly’s EN, please cover Gobbler’s ears for this one) Why fight when we could just pleasure him together at the same time? There’s more than enough of him to go round. Unless by fight, you mean in a paddling pool filled with baby oil…
There should be a spare room at Television Centre for us to use, surely. Might be a bit awkward round his, as his Mum might overhear.
(I feel a bit sick now. Bleeeeurgh)
oops, yes, quite. In fact he or she appears to have quite a large repertoire of trigger words, movements and political stances which may spark off some sort of, ah, episode with sometimes pleasurable, sometimes embarrassing and sometimes bloodily mutilating effects …
9% Growth party seem to be obsessed with the successful Irish economic policy….
And on a more puerile note, what sort of name is the 9% growth party?
SARAH PALIN, HOPEFULLY AMERICA’S NEXT PRESIDENT.
Says it all really. The man is an alpaca’s aching axe wound.
I thought, since Hollywood began telling us so about 2/3 years back, comic books are now acceptable forms of entertainment? On the other hand, as we all know comedy reached its peak with Ben Elton’s late-80s observational standup. Hey, anyone know any good ones about students?!
There’s a wealth of claims and statements to attack him on as well, such as
“the Climate Change Bill will provably cause the deliberate & unnecessary deaths of 6,346,050 Scots over the next 91 years.”
Or we can laugh at the comic books and do shitflirting.
@ Bit Special Wow! If he would allow us to both pleasure him at the same time, we would be the luckiest girls in the world. He is just so FIT! And smart. And sexy.
He would be one lucky boy too as we wouldn’t puncture like his regular girlfriend.
PS Sorry if anyone’s done ‘alpaca’s aching axe wound’ before; I’m new here.
@Bit Special and @Rosie, thank you, my day off is now complete with the thought video of the pair of you rolling around in baby oil for the attentions of Mr Craig. It sure beats reading the 9% Growth Party’s blog, but surely given Mr Craigs’ profile, you wouldn’t have to fight?(unless of course you really must), as he would be there like a proverbial rat out of a drain pipe vying for your affections, should you wish to proffer them in his direction that is.
“And on a more puerile note, what sort of name is the 9% growth party?”
Could it be referring to a stirring in the trouser region when viewing pictures of Ann Widecombe?
“Could it be referring to a stirring in the trouser region when viewing pictures of Ann Widecombe?”
Well I did wonder, but 9% is such an unimpressive target. To impress Annie, Neil will require a lot more than 9%.
Ah but as the fair Ms W is as familiar with men as I am with successful dieting, then perhaps she’s easily pleased ?
“2001 was loads warmer than the 2000, therefore global warming must have restarted in 2001. See how daft your argument is?
Temperatures fluctuate year-on-year. Always have, always will (El Nino, major volcanic eruptions, even solar changes are a minor influence). It is the trend that is important”
Precisely. from 1980 to 1998 they fluctuated upwards, from 1998 to now they have fluctauted downwards.
“9% Growth party seem to be obsessed with the successful Irish economic policy….
And on a more puerile note, what sort of name is the 9% growth party?”
The star in the puerility stakes here. It shows what a parochial backwards lot the BBCistas are that the idea we should be interested in why the Irish have gone from 2/3rds to 4/3rds our standard of living seems strange to them.
And Kelvin you clearly aren’t educated enough to know the whole left Brane/right Brane thing was disproven decades ago (except among media folk & the subliterate it seems). I was taking the piss you plonker.
@ Neil Craig So I suppose that shag’s out of the question then?
@Neil Craig – it was me who pointed out the left/right brain thing. As for being subliterate, I can at least spell ‘brain’ correctly, know that ‘subliterate’ was the wrong word to use (it actually means ‘unable to understand artistic literature’ or ‘pertaining to slang dialects’) and am a Doctoral candidate (that means I am going to do a PhD, DumDum). And yourself?
By the way, ‘BBCista’ is just rubbish. If you’re weren’t thick and mad you’d realise that.
@Rosie – I’ve gone off him a bit now. Looks like it’s just you and me, girl!
You… you were? But I thought we were friends Neil, I thought we were going to change the world together! I could see us whirling hand in hand around L5 like Wall-E and Eve in that movie. Star Wars I think it was called.
And you don’t think that might have anything to do with the fact that they’re rapidly heading back towards the 2/3 mark as a result of the celtic tiger being essentially a huge property bubble? Wait, sorry, that’s evidence, I apologise for subjecting you to something to which you’re allergic.
God this is tedium.
Why can’t people read the genius of Lydia Read
http://newsforums.bbc.co.uk/nol/profile.jspa?userID=11184015&edition=1&ttl=20090717123304
(Thanks Fat Edgar)
Also – Nelson… did you know its national talk like a Brummie day…
http://talklikeabrummieday.co.uk/
I kow you’re a Yam Yam but have some solidarity for your mid-land brothers!
@ Bit Special Me too. You, me, the wrestling and that baby oil. Bring it on.
Oh, and I am a genuine BBCista. While I’m supposed to be moderating HYS, I am actually sitting here on SYB soliciting Mister 9% brain (brane), flirting with girls and setting up paddling pool play dates. All while being paid with YOUR LICENCE FEE. You couldn’t make it up!!!one!
@ Neil Craig Bit Special is right – BBCista is just rubbish. You may address me as an angsty, hand-wringing, liberal, censoring BBC layabout. Fanx.
In Neil’s defence, I interpreted his spellingof ‘brane’ to be taken from the name of this website.
In any case, he uses some pretty strange, ignorant and insulting turns of phrase for a wannabe politician, don’t you think?
Do what I did and get yourself reassigned to BBC Scotland through the Distance Workers Plan. That way you get paid directly from Scottish licence fee funds without having to live up in that fucking wasteland or doing anything to serve the ungrateful cunts, and you get the Distance Workers allowance out of them too.
“Thirteen of the fourteen warmest years in the series (going back to 1850) have occurred in the past fourteen years (1995-2008). The only year in the last fourteen not among the warmest fourteen is 1996 (replaced in the warm list by 1990). The period 2001-2008 (0.43°C above 1961-90 mean) is 0.19°C warmer than the 1991-2000 decade (0.24°C above 1961-90 mean).” (source: CRU, UEA)
Perhaps most interesting is that the average for 2001-2008 is warmer than the average for the decade 1991-2000. This decade is shaping up to be warmer than that last decade, yet you still maintain is getting cooler?
Perhaps in your delusions you think the whole climate change thing is based on looking at temperature records alone, and isn’t underpinned by elementary scientific facts:
1 CO2 is a greenhouse gas.
2 CO2 is accumulating in the atmosphere as a result of human activities .
Yours with gay abandon,
mincer
XXX
http://futureshockbks.blogspot.com/
Aw, there’s only one member on Neil Craig’s comic book shop blog, whom I suspect might be Neil Craig. Should we help a brother out and join? I wonder if he sells old back issues of Whizzer and Chips.
@ Kelvin – What a sterling idea! I would get paid even more for being a BBC layabout and it has the added bonus of pissing Neil Craig off even more. It’s the idea that just keeps on giving
Having tried to read and understand Neil’s blog and given up partly because of the strange typeface. I wondered if their is some correlation between typeface choices and grip on reality.
To conclusively prove my point I submit Time Cube (http://www.timecube.com/)
What, one additional example isn’t conclusive proof! Well damn you.
Time Cube
@La Spesh,
Won’t TYF be upset if you are cavorting with Neil and Rosie in baby oil?
Also, I don’t think Neil knows you are scrappy doo…
Neil,
You can’t win, but there are alternatives to fighting…
@ pigfrottage
Kudos on the Star Wars reference. It’s very kind of you to meet these weirdos half-way.
Nice to see the SYB Weirdo Outreach Programme is proceeding well, following our success with 1984RFR.
I suggest we should try and get our favourite ex-pat Joy Pattinson on here next. We could try reuniting her with her estranged brother. It would be like a Noel Edmonds Christmas special.
Only not as shite.
@pigfrottage – I shall leave TYF* with plenty of Scooby Snacks and he’ll be happy as a pig in mud. Or a puppy with a grotesquely-oversized head in baby oil. Does this make Neil Craig Old Man Withers? And is Rosie Daphne or Velma?
Incidentally, I’ve just remembered that it snowed in June in 1977 or similar, so Neil Craig must be right.
Methinks.
*Obviously not. Even the charms of Rosie and the wrongness of N C could not tempt me away from my beloved hapless cartoon stereotype.
Oi BBC! Where’s my bloody salary check then? Mr Comic Book Guy here says I’ve been working for you and who am I to doubt him?
Maybe I need to be a bit more assiduous at working on the bum sex and Trotskyism or something before I can get paid.
If I had to sum it up in one sentence it would be “That Sarah Palin is well fit ‘innit”…
Neil, do you write any songs or poetry? If so, I’d love to hear. Ta.
Leave Neil alone, we have bigger fish to fry.
The Now Show has just read out a couple of bits from ‘Have Your Say’ that they clearly lifted from SYB but pretended that they found them themselves. Not even a hat tip.
We should direct our l33t hax0r skilz at taking down the BBC! See if Punt and Dennis like it when they get a text at 4.42 am!
So much to say… I’ll have to content myself with a Get Well Soon to Scotland’s mother, out in space.
@Neil Craig – you own a comic shop? I reckon that’s amazingly cool.
Your politics are utterly mad, but even so I find myself filled with a grudging respect.
Hmmm, that could be gayness though…
Climate change denial, Sarah Palin fantasist, unsustainable economic growth promoter, and statistical extrapolations of such mindblowing simplicity that my pet rat would have to bang its head repeatedly against the cage wall to comprehend. The only fly in Neil Craig’s ointment is the missing apostrophe in Hooray Henrys.
As a Scot, scientists and rationalist, may I apologise most humbly for this cancerous abberation on my nation’s proud history of innovation in science and its position as the centre of the enlightenment.
Given his propensity to drop loads of vaguely scientific assertions into the mix – presumably in the (frankly impossible) belief that his audience is more ignorant that he is – you’ll have to indulge me for a moment.
Really? Is it safe to drink now? Or are they just using it again, carefully, as it’s an extremely effective pesticide.
Umm, no. But I think I see what your small right-wing left-brain mind is struggling with – you find an exception and conclude that an entire trend is disproved. Stop listening to Geordi La Forge! He’s not a scientist! He’s not real!
Just brilliant. Neil – if you were walking towards the back of a fast moving train, would you be going forwards or backwards? Confused?? Can you comprehend the fact that there might be a second order effect?
Neil – go and annoy some seven-year-olds with your undoubtedly extensive knowledge of comic books and stop pestering cyberspace with you pig-ignorant first-order interpretations of real life. Ya big poof.
Look, I hate to tell you this, but I don’t think Neil Craig will answer your inconvenient litany of facts. See, he never answered my question about how the BBC supports the war in Iraq given the Kelly affair, or about how it’s just possible that climate change might make places cooler rather than warmer, or even on his own blog about how it’s not hypocritical that he censors comments then throws his toys out of the pram when one of his own desperately important branespeaks fails to make it through on here. I don’t think he’s actually very good at the “arguing” part of having an argument, he seems much better at the “throwing out an assertion then belittling anyone who disagrees with him.” And he chose the wrong place to do that, because I’m a fuckton better at belittling than he is.
This is indisputably true. But on the other hand, so are my slippers.
(These are they: http://www.lazyboneuk.com/products/Freudian-Slippers-.html TYF got them for me)
@ Bit Special AKA La Spesh
Cool footwear! But aren’t you a bit Jung for them?
Sorry. Where did I put my coat? Ah, got it…
Now those are the kind of slippers I wouldn’t mind telling my childhood problems to.
@My Foot hurts – from wikipedia:
We don’t judge you for wanting to have sex with dead rabbits whilst dressed as Olive from ‘On The Buses’.
@TBITC – Ja… now tell me about your mother.
Freud was a phallocentric twatbasket. But he sho’ looks good as punning and cosy footwear!
Neil, do you sell any Space: 1999 merchandise in your shop?
@Bit Special AKA La Spesh, my mother was a complete twatbasket who talked to slippers all day-hence why I am here (on SYB rather than why I am here, that one you would have to ask my mother about-I DIDN’T ASK TO BE BORN)
“Freud describes jokes as letting in forbidden thoughts and feelings which society suppresses into the conscious mind”
Neil Craig- I rest my case m’lud
He said Brane! Like a bird’s brane!
@TBITC – Ja, Ja, is all making sense to me now… when you were 3, tell me, did you look at ze family pet whilst hugging your mother and enjoying an innocent frisson as you pressed against her bosom, and felt annoyed at its interruption? Ja, you did? Ah, I see you ‘ave a typical case of sublimated anger and desire – for zis is why you are obsessed with hatred for animal genetalia, for example – withered warthog’s wizards’ sleeves like Neil Craig.
Sadly, ‘is pathology is beyond even my powers of analysis and help. Besides, I am mainly made of velour with a soft cotton tongue.
Oh Mother, how I still recall the feel of your apron against my cheek. That too was like a soft cotton tongue caressing my… No Mother, you cannot ‘ave my penis! Leave mah penis alone, Mother!
Why do you not want mah penis, Mother? Why do you reject me so?
Erm I really think I ought to go to sleep now. Good night, one and all.
@Bit Special AKA Dr La Spesh, thank you doctor, yes animal genitalia causes me great hatred and yes,yes my mother didn’t want my penis, and you are so right It is late and the whisky is now taking hold (at fucking last), but still I am concerned about this non global warming/cooloing-Neil can you help where Dr la Spesh has left off?
@Speshul
You kind of veered out of ze JAIRMAN accent across into ze Frrrrrench accent about halfway through there.
“We don’t judge you for wanting to have sex with dead rabbits whilst dressed as Olive from ‘On The Buses’.”
Are you suggesting there’s something wrong with that?
@Ed – Ja, but I spent ein lot of time in Paris, so is allowed. Your pedantry is ein clear sign of repressed masochistic perversion, as I am obviously never wrong.
Am now worried I sound a bit like Bruno.
@MFH – mein fee is £200 an hour.
It takes something special to get thrown out of the Liberal Democrats-
the resting place for people who can’t function in the depersonalizing world of a mainstream party.
If you can’t function in the Lib Dems, that is startling dysfunctionality.
Well I’ve learned a lot in this thread – Nelson is a yam-yam? To which my question is “yow ay, am ya me mon?” *cough*
And I’ll make an announcement right here and now – I’m going to be hosting a big gay party on the good ship, “The Cormorant’s Clunge” very soon – and you’re all invited. There’ll be streamers, sparklers, a buffet, Kylie on the sound system and everything
You smug fuckers, you just don’t get it, do you? You sprinkle your grab bag of ‘science phrases’ that you got while reading the Guradian on the bog and you think you have the answers to everything.
Well let me tell you, once and for all, a interneter with a grade D in ‘science’ at GCSE is globally recognised as THE most respected and qualified authority in ANY field of science. And when a group of these people gather… YOU FUCKING LISTEN, NOT TALK, you arrogant twats.
The THEORY of Evolution… see?… ‘theory’, It’s ONLY a theory. That means it’s not a science fact it’s a science THEORY.
Global WARMING. Hmmm? Warming? Which part of ‘warming’ do you not understand? The THEORY of global WARMING. But it is raining and cold in my garden. (that’s SCIENTIFIC EVIDENCE for you, idiots)So the theory can’t be true. Duh? Wake up, grow up, and FUCK OFF!
OK Doctor Kelvin (online Nobel & bar) meet all the other assorted nuclear physicists, environmental scientists & SAS members who demand they are right because of their alleged qualifictions. And incidentally I have, as you know perfectly well, answered the non-obscene questions you have posted,
Nonetheless thank for the first attempt by anybody else on here to introduce evidence. Yes Ireland’s economy is declining 8,9% (which is not 40%) while ours has declined 4%, this is because there is a fairly widespread, though by no means total recession. However we have done this by borrowing 12.5% of GNP, which Ireland decided would be loony since it will have to be repaid. The net difference does not suggest that their bubble is as bad as ours.
“Climate change denial, Sarah Palin fantasist, unsustainable economic growth promoter, and statistical extrapolations of such mindblowing simplicity that” only Beboids (is that better) can’t understand them. There is lots more there for people who don’t have trouble with this reading stuff. I am most impressed with your grasp & your correction about the letter s – incidentally are you sure you are multiple scientists – sounds like something Fawlty.
Mincer says
“Perhaps in your delusions you think the whole climate change thing is based on looking at temperature records alone, and isn’t underpinned by elementary scientific facts:”
Which shows his rigidly ludicrous grasp of the scientific method. ANY scientific theory depends, for acceptance, on it fitting the facts. So yes the whole climate change thing depends on the theory’s predictions, that we have fast rising global temperatures, being borne out by the records.
The records clearly say we have declining temperatures & therefore a theory which predicts them rising catastrophically fast is wrong. No matter how much sticky back plastic, political push & computers were used to making it earlier.
Who posed a non-obscene question? C’mon, own up! Call yourself a SYBer? You SICKEN me.
PS Neil – you finish sentences with a full stop, not a comma. And the only qualification we all have that makes us so sure you’re wrong is that we’re not mental.
PPS And what you’re not grasping is that none of us could give a living shit about your theories – even if they were right! Which they’re not. Now go away, you nutter.
Really? Because I can think of three you haven’t:
1. In light of the Kelly affair, the Hutton Report and the subsequent resignation of Greg Dyke, how can you say that the BBC (which is what you usually mean when you make blanket statements about “the media”) is in agreement with the government position on the War in Iraq?
2. Can you explain which part of the current accepted climate change theories state that falling temperatures in some areas are evidence of climate change? Hint: I know you’re not good on the ‘collecting evidence’ side of things, so you probably want to avoid any pages with the phrase “climate change winners and losers” in them.
3. Why is it acceptable for you to censor comments on your very important political blog and not acceptable for us to censor comments on our childish and puerile blog? Please explain your reasoning for your assertion that it is not hypocritical of you to do so, and also please explain why it is that you feel it is more important for third parties to have a commitment to free speech than you do.
4. Your beard is very manly. Can I touch it with my fingers?
Oh, oh, oh!
5. Please identify the main players in the conspiracy that led to your party getting a record low share of the vote in the 2007 Scottish Parliament elections. If you feel there was no conspiracy, please explain the reason that all but eighty of the electorate disagrees with your policies.
6. Please confirm that your pubic hair is as well-trimmed as your beard. I would hate to think that a man with such hirsute gifts would fail to do a bit of topiary down there.
Wait, wait, wait, one more:
7. How angry are you right now? Are we at risk of making you pop your aorta and collapse in the tentacle rape aisle, or are we safe to drive you on a bit further yet?
8. Do you understand that sometimes people post things on here and they are not me when they do it (nor indeed before or after they do it, I am a discrete human being and not part of any fluid or static gestalt consciousness and/or hive mind like the one in Neal Stephenson’s Xeelee Trilogy)? If so, why do you keep addressing answers to me about posts I didn’t write?
Neil,
I’ll address you here where it’s not censored. I am aware of the pitfalls of argument from authority, but I would like you to tell us what academic qualifications you have, especially in the science field. You know, since you claim to understand the scientific method, and logic, so well.
To start the ball rolling: I have a bachelor’s in a science, and a master’s in law. I know that there is at least one PhD here. Dazzle us.
@Kelvin
He thinks we’re all a hive-mind. Or, just possibly, he genuinely can’t tell libruls apart.
Wait, one more.
9. Theoretically, if we weren’t really interested in your opinions and we were just doing our best to jerk your string and tug you back here to say things that make you angry, and yet you couldn’t stop yourself coming back to read them and getting angrier and angrier and sooner or later you’re going to punch out a customer godfuckingdammit! would that make you a masochist, or just some kind of raving loon who’s so bad at dealing with people he’s practically austistic?
Doesn’t Comic Book Guy realise that if he stays round here long enough he’ll be assimilated into the Kelvin Collective?
I lied.
10. If we’re all employed by the BBC, why haven’t you complained to the BBC about us? We’re obviously biased, apparently violating copyright, and breaking the BBC Charter by not identifying this blog as a BBC website. we’d be in huge trouble if you did, so is it only the fear of being laughed off the phone and having it patronisingly explained that the BBC doesn’t own the whole internet that stops you?
*sigh* You’re such a prick. Why am I going to bother, hey ho,
1) The Earth’s climate has natural fluctuations of temperature, in both the short and long term, based on a huge and complex system of parameters. 2) The system is a chaotic system which has a certain level of stability but is not ‘stable’.
3) Man can influence these parameters by changing the content of the planet’s atmosphere and so disturb the overall stability in the system over the long and short term, inducing wider fluctuations than the system would otherwise exhibit.
4) Citing a short period of falling temperatures for an isolated of the system CLEARLY does not describe the complete behaviour of the system.
As any fule kno.
But, you stupid dingo’s dickpocket, do you REALLY think that your ad hoc little ‘if…then…so…’ piece of pseudo-science has escaped the notice of the world’s thousands of clever scientists. Do you REALLY think if it were as simple as ‘Hey lads, it’s cold outside, we must be wrong’ that the clever people wouldn’t have spotted that one. The only reason you DARE TO SPEAK YOUR APPALINGLY NAIVE CRAPPY LITTLE THEORY IS BECAUSE YOU HAVE ZERO COMPREHENSION OF THE SUBJECT! You’re like the embarrassing girlfriend at the football saying, “Why doesn’t he just pass it to that player there, he’s an idiot?” When your boyfriend has already tried to explain the offside rule to you A DOZEN TIMES.
Neil Craig – you, yes YOU, are an ignorant dick. YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT. I’ve got a 2:1 BSc in Physics from Nottigham Uni and I know that really all that means is I have scratched the surface of a small area of a few topics and the real scientists would laugh at my simple understanding of ‘science’, what have you got that makes you think you can challenge them? A copy of The Daily Mail and a GCSE in Nose Picking Studies?
Please, (just so we can delight in ripping the shit out of you), explain how isolated falling temperatures disprove the current climate model popularly known as ‘global warming’.
(oh fuck! look how long that is and look at all those angry BLOCK CAPITALS. That’s a proper HYS rant, that is.)
Ha! I just ran your branesquak past my 15 year old niece and asked her if she agreed. She frowned for a bit and said, “Hang on, that’s rubbish, cos it’s not just, like, ‘up’ or ‘down’ everywhere at the same time.”
Go Gurl!
HA! I would like to publically record my pride in my clever niece and my derision at your feeble brain. I asked her if we should call you a dick Neil and she said, “Yeah, cos he is. Why don’t people like him just shut up?”
Bingo.
I have Biology GCSE Grade E (this is because I had the shittest teacher ever and I was bored beyond all human comprehension and did no work for it) and I am STILL better informed and more rational on the subject than Neil Craig.
I have BA Hons English & Writing, a double Masters in Women’s Studies & Critical Theory and should be embarking on a Critical Theory* PhD this autumn if someone can sort out the ridiculous funding mix-up currently blighting my life (sorry, had to vent; it’s a nightmare). But that’s another story.
I also have a Grade 3 Trampolining Certificate. Again, better qualifications than N C.
None of it has been as useful as my BTEC in Being Kelvin, mind…
*I might change my topic to understanding N C and his ilk. I’ve read Derrida in the original French and that was a piece of piss compared to how N C thinks. Ooooh, ‘Inside The Minds of HYSers And Other Bonkers Losers’ – perhaps that might get me the funding?
Look, will all of you just stay the fuck away from the door on floor 7 1/2 of Broadcasting House that leads into my head?
Guys, I wouldn’t want you to get the idea in your heads that this is a one-sided fight, so I feel honour bound to state for the record that Neil is fucking pwning me in the comments over on his own blog. He has a comeback for literally everything I post.
PS. Nelson, the blog is ignoring my comments again. I had to post from a different browser to get this through. I DEMAND YOU STOP CENSORING ME!
Look, will all of you just stay the fuck away from the door on floor 7 1/2 of Broadcasting House that leads into my head?
Guys, I wouldn’t want you to get the idea in your heads that this is a one-sided fight, so I feel honour bound to state for the record that Neil is fucking pwning me in the comments over on his own blog. I’d post a link but the site treats that as spam and CENSORS MY VERY IMPORTANT MESSAGES.
‘Inside The Minds of HYSers And Other Bonkers, Right Wing Losers who Despise our Glorious Socialist Government and the wonderful BBC’ – There’s your funding, right there.
Come on, Spesh, you know the rules. If you want financial assistance from the government you have to support the Great Conspiracy. Are you an ethnic minority, disabled or muslim by any chance? Obviously being a woman is going to play in your favour. Also, may I suggest you emphasise that your research is completely banal and useless and that the likes of Neil Craig could tell you all the answers to its premise without even opening a single book. Stress that its main aim is to provide a luxurious lifestyle funded by the tax-payer.
A couple of policies from Neil’s 9% Party Manifesto
There you go, Neil, have some free publicity for your party.
9% economic growth at the same time as a house price crash. How can anyone say he hasn’t done his homework?
Because the sinking variety of island aren’t practical unless you’re an Irish ghost or something… What do I know… I have a BA in Philosophy and Literature so in comparison to my learned friends above I’m a bit thick
@Bit Special
I can see a whole new research field opening up on the social construction of ignorance. I’d probably run some sort of ethnomethodolgical approach demonstrating how ignorance is consistently produced, maintained and valorized through contingent institutional praxis. Or would if I was still a jobbing sociologist, I’m sure the ESRC would fund it.
Critical theory was too hard for me and anyway my Grade 3 CSE German wasn’t really up to it.
The only possible use for a floating island in the South Atlantic is as a gigantic prison for all BBC employees. According to Wikipedia, Ascension island was once used as a prison for homosexual sailors. Which I would count as conclusive evidence. And I have a Nobel Prize in philately!
Actually, it could be a staging post to invade Brazil. That probably makes more sense.
Also from 9% blog:
That means if the GNP was zero, there would be only 2100 deaths per 100000 people – 98% of the population would be fine, despite nobody having anything to eat, drink, or keep warm with?
Interesting. according to New Scientist rising carbon dioxide in the atmosphere puts more than half a billion people who rely on cassava as a staple of their diet at risk of cyanide poisoning. Currently 9% of Nigerians suffer cyanide poisoning as a result. So by doing nothing about atmospheric CO2 we put an additional 45 million people at risk of cyanide poisoning during their lifetimes.
Wait, wait, wait, sorry. I was using “evidence” and “interpretation” there. What I should have been doing was recommending we put rockets on Africa so the whole continent hovers at 10,000 feet because that would be so cool.
Anyway,
11. Neil, who’s more important? Your bullshit* figure of 6 million scots, or an actual 45 million brown people? Don’t worry, we won’t think you’re racist if you don’t answer like one.
Gah, god dammit.
*I’ll explain why your figure’s bullshit if you like, but it has to do with the fact that the climate change bill is supposed to embody sustainable lifestyle patterns, and eating fish from collapsing stocks fried in corn oil, the way poor people do, is not a sustainable way of eating. So it will probably save the lives of Scots by weaning them off unhealthy cheap food in the long run.
Ha, I wondered how long before Neil Craig would wash up here. I drink in the same pub as the nasty little, stupid-bearded, beer-gutted, right-wing homophobe, and he’s invariably on his own, but then you could have guessed that anyway. And his comic shop’s shit; just crappy sci-fi (he doesn’t appear to know who the Hernandez brothers are) stuff jammed so tightly into the racks they crease and get bleached out in the sun. It’s also covered in clippings of all the mental letters he’s had printed in newspapers over the years.
I’m not even going to try arguing with him over global warming as it’s all been said already and he’s all but sticking his fingers in his ears and going “la la la”, but if you look at his blog you’ll discover that not only does he know better than the world’s climate scientists, he also knows better than its economists, civil engineers and transport planners.
He seems obsessed with tunnels: he wants to build them everywhere, including to the little island (pop 5000) where my mum and dad live, which would no doubt be a very wise use of billions of pounds. I’m sure Dr. Freud would have something to say.
Here’s a game: go through his blog and count of many of his scientific claims are referenced to Michael Crichton.
Well since you have finally actually got round to asking them;
1 – This would be the BBC that even after Hutton continually insisted that”Tony Blair was sincere” in believing in WMDs & never once said “Toany Blair is a lying murdering genocidal pro-Nazi war criminal.
2 – If by “climate change” you mean what used to be called catastrophic global warming, then no part of the theory predicts falling temperatures. That is the point.
3 – I censored your obscene homosexual fantasies. If the difference between that & censoring real poetical discussion is not readily apparent to you I would not be in the least surprised.
4 – Only if your fingers are several hundred miles long & fit inside telephone cables.
5 – My guess is that if I had had as much media coverage as the others I would have done substantially better. Do you not?
6 – Clearly the height of your intellectual interest is just under 3 foot.
7 – I get angry at people who are worth it.
8 – Saves time.
Ed – None not even made up ones. And I still clearly know more than all you Nobel laureates.
9 – Theoretically if pigs could fly they would have wings.
10 – You mean like that civil servant who put a comment on a blog that Harperson was a prat & got fired. I don’t think that was right. Also if the BBC can’t dispute lying & censoring to promote genocide but do nothing I doubt they would wish to do much about comment piracy.
Funny pec – You mean “a short period” of rising temperature,”for an isolated of the system (?) CLEARLY does not describe the complete behaviour of the system” so a rise between 1980 & 1998 would not be proof of a catastrophic change in the life of the entire planet. What are you – some sort of denier? They”ll take away your certificate.
FP2 – As for your niece’s “it’s not just, like, ‘up’ or ‘down’ everywhere at the same time.” Then the whole concept of some catastrophic warming is pants. Better make sure those alarmists who want to make scepticism a criminal offence don’t find out.
“9% economic growth at the same time as a house price crash. How can anyone say he hasn’t done his homework?”
I assume you think it is equally impossible to have a growing economy as long as Moore’s law applies (computer prices falling for those who don’t know it)
Also, there’s a great bit on the blog where he claims that proponents of anthropogentic global warming know that it’s false. So it’s not enough for the world’s thousands of climate scientists simply to be wrong; they’re all engaged in a massive conspiracy to deliberately mislead the world.
It’s almost like they didn’t want him to sue them for slander or something, given that all of the above would be difficult to prove, not that proof is something with which you usually concern yourself.
I do indeed mean the what used to be colloquially known as global warming. The name was changed partly because of our better understanding of the climate and partly because it gave idiots with no scientific understanding the ammunition to say “Doh but it’s cold today” without having a fucking scooby what they were on about. Have you read any of current climate change theory, or are you smugly repeating the conclusion you jumped to in 1997?
Actually I don’t see the difference, Neil, because that is the point of freedom of speech. You cannot pick and choose from what is said to suit your own comfort zone. If you want to hide from ideas you don’t like – such as my tongue gently caressing the ridge around the base of your glans – then feel free, but don’t set yourself up as some kind of bastion of freedom when in fact you’re a repressed and repressive homophobe.
I thought we established I live in Glasgow? I’m sitting at a bus stop swigging from a can of warm flat lager even as I type this.
No, I really don’t. I really, really, really don’t. In a way that I find it hard to express because it’s not possible to be more than 100% certain of something.
You said it Neil, looks like both of us love talking bollocks.
But you said we weren’t. You said this site was a haven of hooray henrys who did no discourse at all. So why, as we’ve done absolutely nothing to change the way we discuss things here, are we suddenly worth getting angry over? Is it perhaps because, for the first time, you’re encountering people who have a point, and you don’t know how you can stop them incessantly bringing up salient arguments that you can’t make your creaking idiot brain answer?
Fair enough. Probably a good tactic because at this rate you’ll be having an aneurism in the yaoi aisle by Thursday. Make the most of what you’ve got, I say.
Hahaha, good point. I suppose my theory was only a theory, just like climate change. And gravity.
Oh sorry, let me put that right. As an actual employee of the BBC and stuff, I formally dispute your allegations that we lie and censor to promote genocide and do nothing. I forgot this is the first time anyone from the BBC – which I definitely work for – has taken your wackaloon comments seriously enough to answer.
Well, actually, you’re wrong AND wrong here. Moore’s law says absolutely nothing about the price of computers, it says that the number of transistors it’s possible to fit in a square inch will double every 18 months. It doesn’t say anything about the cost of the raw materials or production processes, and therefore says absolutely everything about computing power growing exponentially and absolutely nothing about what the price of computers should do. Sorry to come back at you with a fact there.
And secondly, there’s a bit of a difference in that computers are not the source and security of the kind of excessive lending which drove the house price bubble which resulted in the growth of the Irish market which you so respected, the way property was. Thank God your economic policy wasn’t formulated by someone with such a basic failure to understand the economy. Oh wait…
11 – That was a stretch. Haviong looked at the link what the guy actually says is that they should bred les toxic varieties of Kasava. This is a good example of trying to hike a global warming angle onto any story. You must have been desperate if that is the best you could come up with.
In fact, since you have been checking my blog, you know perfectly well that I am against the deliberate murder of 70 million, mainly African children, by encouraging malaria & I don’t think you could say that of anybody at the BBC. Certainly not you Kelvin who made his opinion about DDT clear earlier.
If Mr Stack is Norman he doesn’t drink in my pub & his general reliablity is obvious. If he has something to actually say he should say it.
Er, I have an opinion on DDT? Could you tell me what it is? Because I wasn’t aware I did.
Also, please don’t confuse me glancing over the first three posts on your blog and finding a rich seam of idiocy to mock with me actually reading everything you’ve ever written. I wouldn’t want to give you false hope that anyone ever reads what you write on there.
Who’s Norman? What on earth are you talking about? And I most certainly do drink in the same pub as you Neil: the Doublet on Park Road. I was there last night between half nine and closing time, and have the hangover to prove. If you were there, I didn’t notice you, but still, if you’re going to be drinking on your own, Friday, when the pubs are full of people enjoying themselves, probably isn’t the time to be doing it.
I would have thought what I was trying to say was perfectly obvious to anyone with basic reading skill: your unhinged ramblings are perfect fodder for this website; you’re invariably in the pub on your own, indicating that you probably have no friends (confirmation rather than revelation); and your comic shop’s rubbish.
Here’s a question, Neil; how come your current shop is smaller, crappier and in a worse location than than your old one, despite you being such a economic wizz and everything? Is it the greens’ fault that you’re not acheiving 9% business growth? Or are your mad skills suited only to creating massive economic grow in advanced, highly-specialised, interlinked complex economies rather than maintaining small businesses?
Oh, and Neil:
‘”There is no problem with global warming. It stopped in 1998.”
Are those claims actually true? Do climatologists work in a frame of 150 years? Did global warming stop in 1998? Well, no. And also no.
As for 1998 — that was an unusually hot year, exceeding even the temperature of the previous record-holder way back in 1997. Average temperatures in 1998 were exacerbated by the short-term effects of a record-breaking El Nino in the Pacific Ocean, as well as the long-term trend towards global warming. Nonetheless, global average temperatures have continued to rise since 1997 and NASA recorded fractionally higher temperatures in 2005 — when there was no additional El Nino effect. A graph makes the upward trend, and the denier cherry-picking, clear.
Medium and short term trends (such as the ocean cycle) can work both ways — they can cool the planet down for a while, even as CO2 and other greenhouse gases continue to accumulate in the atmosphere. But they don’t effect the long-term trend as greenhouse gases accumulate.
If climate scientists had ever said, “Because global warming is taking place, it will never be cold anywhere, ever again and each day will be hotter than the last”, then the observation that some years have been cooler than 1998 would matter. Since they don’t, loudly and often, there are no excuses for the “It’s-cold-today-so-global-warming-is-a-fraud!” time-wasters.’
From http://www.huffingtonpost.com/alex-higgins/the-ispectatori-is-hot-fo_b_230873.html
“11 – That was a stretch. Haviong looked at the link what the guy actually says is that they should bred les toxic varieties of Kasava. This is a good example of trying to hike a global warming angle onto any story. You must have been desperate if that is the best you could come up with.”
Did you actually read the article, you semi-literate twat? Or are you just deliberately misrepresenting it? It says there’s a desperate need to breed less toxic varieties of cassava because its cyanide levels are rising in direct proportion to the concentration of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere. How the fuck is that “hike[ing] a global warming angle (sic) onto any story”? Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you? Are you stupid or a liar, Neil? Which is it?
Dear Neil
Please learn how to format your blog so it looks less like a blind cobblers daughter eating badger poo from a cats arse.
Sincerely
Me
“Theoretically if pigs could fly they would have wing”
Or they could just buy a ticket from Ryan Air like everyone else and save on the whole messing about evolving wings (or gaining them through magic or a bizarre form of plastic surgery)
Wings not wing – arsewipe
Obviously it wings – one wing would be a waste a time unless they could move around like a helicopter…
Perhaps we could then retrofit them with sidewinder missiles and use them in combat zones
Seriously this Neil Clarke loon has infected my synaptic mechanisms with his numpty-ness and now all I can think about is complete lunacy bollocks
Is DDT the name of the shadow BBC – or did someone just cock up on code books this week?
Obviously he’s making a loss selling all his stock at 1/4 the price, but it’s OK because he’ll make it up on volume! It’s not working too well just now, but it’s got to start getting better soon, because it’s obvious, innit?
I have actually made myself dirty by looking at Neil Craig’s interweb thingy
He is crazy for tunnels…
http://a-place-to-stand.blogspot.com/2006/12/scottish-tunnel-project.html
What is he a friggin’ mole?
Ja, is my easiest diagnosis to date. Neil Craig is obsessed with tunnels because he is a massive cunt.
Holy fuck, I’ve just run across this gem from Neil on a different SYB thread.
“Being free to smoke in pubs. That we were only threatened with a global ice age. No (well far fewer) fascists running TV. No politicians in power who were personaly guilty of war crimes, genocide & child rape. The hospitals weren’t dependent on our police kidnapping people & cutting them up for organs. The BBC weren’t run by the sort of scum who would lie & censor to assist in such things. Voyager.”
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! You massive raving mentalist! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Ah, another sexist twatbasket who presumes everyone on here is a man. Poor love; he’s so used to his blow-up doll that he doesn’t realise that there are real-life women who can talk and type and think and everything! Neil – some of us taking the piss out of your repulsiveness are women; so curb your raging paranoid homophobia a little bit, yeah?
I abhor the censoring of poetical debate. As one of the the major figures of the Modernist poetry movement of the early 20C, is it fair that Ezra Pound is now largely overlooked in academic study due to his pro-fascist activities in Italy during WWII. Discuss.
(Yes, I know what poetical really means)
Hold on their Neil!!! Are you saying not one person at the BBC is against the deliberate murder of 70 million, mainly African children, by encouraging malaria (rhetorical question obviously… thats exactly what you said)…
I’d gone out on a limb here… I’d say at least one does (marking a farce out of your anybody) and go as far as most if not all would be against it… How could you come up with such a bizarre conclusion???
When someone lies Sarah Palin cries
“I censored your obscene homosexual fantasies”
You better not have done.
I started a new obscene homosexual fantasy about 5 mins ago (sent the boyfriend out to do some shopping)
If the good bits are missing, blocked out and/or blurry I’ll know who to blame.
*claps hands* How wonderful! We’ve had two HYSers in here in as many weeks
On the subject of tunnels, they would of course provide easy access to the more outlying islands, but given the astromonical cost in comparison to the absolutely minute number of people who would benefit, I think on balance boats are a lot cheaper – pirate ships like mine particularly so (as it happens, “The Cormorant’s Clunge” makes a profit)
Oh, and on the subject of the gay sailors’ prison near the Ascension Islands, can someone provide me with the co-ordinates? Roger the cabin boy would welcome the distraction of some new scenery…
@Pirate Pete – any chance of a picture of The Cormorant’s Clunge? It sounds wonderful.
Here’s a surreptitious snap of our fair vessel:
http://media.photobucket.com/image/gay%20pirate%20ship/sgurd4/Kyouran%20Kazoku%20Nikki/Episode%2010/episode_10-09.jpg
Very pretty, I’m sure you’ll agree
Neil Craig, by day a mild-manner shopkeeper, but by night *woooooooosh* The Net Avenger, fighting the entrenched hegemony; toppling the ancient towers of incompetence and conspiracy; a brave but lonely light shining in the face of corruption and stupidity. A hope when all others fail.
But now, suddenly, our hero finds himself thrown into a mortal struggle deep in the heart of the enemy’s stronghold [because we DO all work for the BBC, Neil, that's how we know EVERYTHING about you.] Without warning, humanity’s last good hope is bombarded with waves of devastating attacks. There’s no time to go to The Doublet tonight, Neil. There’s a war to be won! To Arms, Net Avenger! To Arms! Your country needs you! Come on Cape-man! Srike mightily for righteousness. Raise the banner high for all to see! Don’t give up! Show them all that the people can overcome the hated system…
But… beware, Net Avenger, *steeples fingers* others have tried to smash through our barricades before, we could show them to you if you like… mwah…. mwah-ha-ha….. MWAH-HA-HAAA!
We also know where he lives, and that his flat is filled with floor-to-ceiling stacks of comics and porn mags. But you could have guessed that.
I don’t yet work for the BBC, but I’m hoping my impressive homosexual technique will help my job prospects – friends are astounded by my ability to pull lesbians at straight clubs.
@Pirate Pete – it’s delightful! Is it available for hire? And do you have a cabin full of scampering kittens to play with? I do hope so!
Do I get a BBC League of Evil discount?
i would just like to point out that unlike most other commenters on here I do not work for the BBC. They claim to have an equal opps policy too! bastards.
woof woof woof
BBC BBC BBC
slurp slurp slurp
stop that! Bad dog! Down boy or girl! I’m so sorry, maybe we can get those dry-cleaned for you? Sorry.
@ A Bit Special – yes of course, we have a cabin full of kittens, specifically bred to ensure that they never mature, and thus keep their cute little kitten ways forever.
Of course, the door to this cabin is protected by powerful magical glamours to prevent the, shall we say, more ‘adventurous’ members of the crew from entering. Dubious Doreen, the ship’s purser tends to their needs when he isn’t otherwise occupied disciplining poor Roger.
@ Neil
I know this has been raised before, but can you give us your calculations that lead you to this conclusion?
I’m not suggesting that your workings are inaccurate, but I just had a check & the latest figures on the scottish government website show that the population of Scotland is expected to peak at 5.37m in 2031 before slowly declining.
Even allowing for births during that time (which currently exceed deaths by 4000 per year), I’m struggling to get to your number. I think it would be really useful if you could clarify this – and it would also show that you are basing your arguments on real, provable evidence.
Thanks!!!!!1!1!one!1!
http://www.gro-scotland.gov.uk/files1/stats/high-level-summary-of-statistics-population-and-migration/j1068501.htm
Pirate Pete – ship looks luverly, do you need a new cabin boy?
@Pirate Pete – oh, you would LOVE the filthy festive double entendre-laden Xmas sea shanty me and The Young Fella wrote a few Wintervals ago. Sadly, it’s far too long and irrelevant to post on here.
Seaman Stains, thanks for the offer but we haven’t worn out Roger yet, but do you have any other skills? We’re in dire need of a decent pastry chef, and also someone with the patience to spend six months sewing sequins into the mainsail and mizzen mast
Dear Mr Craig,
What are these “floating islands” [or rafts, as we call them] to be used for?
And why off Ascension Island?
Many thanks in anticipation.
Ooooh, now I wasn’t going to bother because frankly my climate change knowledge is fairly basic, and I’ve read enough arsegravy from deniers already. However, I am a chartered Civil Engineer and also have a background in transport planning. I suspect I shall enjoy quiet lunchtimes at work this week. Oh. and it’s Throbbe CEng MICE MIHT to you bitchez.
I should come clean really. I’ve been a naughty Kelvin.
The reason Neil Craig keeps banging on about homosexual fantasies is because of a little thing I did on his blog. See, when I saw that he censors comments, I decided to test his commitment to free speech by sending him a rather graphic description of the exact techniques I would use if only he would allow me to lick his mighty meatstaff. He, of course, refused to publish it, and brought the argument back over here, although unless you read one of my comments in another thread you wouldn’t know that my original comment had ever existed. But now, of course, my homosexual fantasies (which are, naturally, real because Neil can’t understand the concept of sarcasm) are a central plank of his argument against SYB.
And so, Neil, by censoring my comment but then referring to it, you’ve managed to make yourself look like a cock-obsessed homophobe. I hope this has been a graphic (in more ways than one) lesson that the real evil of censorship is that it distorts the debate, leading your righteous fire to sound more like desperate denial. And the real fun is that it’s so easy to goad you into it!
Well clearly Craig is talking bollocks as its July and is raining.
So there.
If I’m right.
@Kelvin
“And so, Neil, by censoring my comment but then referring to it, you’ve managed to make yourself look like a cock-obsessed homophobe.”
You are clearly wasting your time with Neil – if you want appreciation for your deliciously sordid homosexual fantasies then send them to those of us that will appreciate them in all their depravity and stop wasting them on some meerkat’s minge crumble.
BTW “sending him a rather graphic description of the exact techniques I would use if only he would allow me to lick his mighty meatstaff”
As has been proved with evidence and SYB proof many, many times in this thread Neil Craig is a cunt and therefore does not have a mighty meatstaff – QED.
@Pirate Pete
I am known for my extensive skills aloft int’ riggin (rhyms with). I am also deft at threading the eye of a needle and love a salty dog (not you Gob).
Enough I say, enough.
I must get back to work at the Beeb (not) although I do work for the government in a round about way. If I told you I would have to kill you all
@Pirate Pete: This is how I imagine life aboard The Comorant’s Clunge: http://www.youtube.com/watch?gl=GB&hl=en-GB&v=xPGLNYAgL-8
Without Tim Curry, of course. That would be absurd.
PS My pastry skills are fantastic and I can sew – do I get the job? I know I’m a not a gay homosexual, but will you settle for a foul-mouthed faghag instead? I have GCSEs in swabbing, keelhauling and mainbrace splicing.
PPS This is going to make a great chapter in ‘They Spoke Their Branes’!
Sweet baby Jebus this has been a splendid adventure catching up. I really must stop going to work and missing all the fun. Clearly, Nelson is lining up a guest speaker each week in order for HYS and SYB to learn about and understand our differences……….good to see it’s going so well so far!!!
I’m booking some days off for next weekend……………fingers crossed for Topsy!!
@ A Bit Special – in fact, life on “The Cormorant’s Clunge” is exactly like that YouTube video, but with fewer mice. Tim Curry is actually aboard, but at his “sweet transvestite from transexual… Transylvania-aha” prime
And, of course you can join the crew, but in order to fit in you’ll have to change your name to “Bob” and strap down your lady parts when on deck…
@Pirate Pete – by ‘lady parts’ do you mean breasts (surely not my Jemima Puddleduck? I’m not Lady GaGa*, you know)? Because if Tim Curry is in full Frank n Furter regalia, I’m going to be Magenta and no bastard better try to stop me.
But I’ll call myself Bob and pretend I’m a tranny: a happy compromise?
@Melliflouous – Weekend Twat-Baiting is what makes the working week worthwhile (although working for the BBC like we all do is good fun too, what with all our genocide collusion an’ ting). I’m sure Neil Craig will still be available for your derision tomorrow.
*Oooh, topical!
woof???
(wag, wag, pant)
(disappointed whine)
Kelvin – Blair – I assume you have never seen anybody broadcast by the BBC saying any of these things about any of people we are supposed to hate, since, obviously if you had seen any you would be lying to suggest they had some opposition to saying such things. In any case all those accusations are easily provable whereas his alleged sincerity, at the very least, isn’t.
” forgot this is the first time anyone from the BBC …. has taken your wackaloon comments seriously enough to answer.” Not quite – some prat called Damien Whyte once objected to me saying the BBC had censored massacres & genocide & challenged me to prove it. I did & he went silent.
DDT – Actually it was twisted pair above who brought it in but you didn’t disagree & as we have established, it saves time treating Branes on here as a gestalt since you so clearly all agree with each other about how silly the common people are.
Mr Stack you are clearly Norman Fraser. It is barely credible that there would be 2 people wishing to spend their time trolling round the net to stick out their tongues at me. For one of these nemesis (nemsii?) not even to have introduced himself & explained his desire to wreak his rewenge on me is to pathetic to believe.
‘”There is no problem with global warming. It stopped in 1998.”
Are those claims actually true?
Well yes. Indeed that is why the alarmists (including yourself) now say that 1998 was special, something they most definitely did not at the time. By accepted measures (& I agree with the 15 year old niece that such figures are imprecise but that clearly cuts both ways) temperature has fallen since then & currently falling sharply. That is not warming, let alone the catastrophic sort. Now here is a test – what is the big difference between denying “each day will be hotter than the last” & an 11 year cooling trend. Take your time.
If it is honesty I could at least respect Kelvin’s claim that the survival of democracy in the great country depends on him being able to post porn on my site. If it is honesty he will, of course, have exercised this duty repeatedly here by recounting his fantasies about raping 15 year old nieces, nephews, alsatians (or indeed people from Alsace) or whatever other Freudian excesses fester in there. I am glad to have missed them.
“Are you saying not one person at the BBC is against the deliberate murder of 70 million, mainly African children, by encouraging malaria (rhetorical question obviously… that’s exactly what you said)”…
Certainly there is no evidence that even 1 of them has on air denounced those doing it or the method – or perhaps you know better?
“I started a new obscene homosexual fantasy about 5 mins ago (sent the boyfriend out to do some shopping)”
That’s a shopping fantasy. Can somebody explain the difference to him.
Tegid – the calculations are actually given in the piece you quote. Prat.
Yegods – Again all on my blog. This asking questions long answered gets tedious. If you want to criticise something it would help to know what it is.
Throbbe (yet another sexual innuendo name!) isn’t it unwise to admit you are ignorant of the subject before promising to take me on over global warming?
Now despite all the kindergarten humour this site pretends to be one where people so intellectually rarefied that they can prove the common people wrong just by giggling. Is it wholly impossible for anybody here to put up an intelligent argument on:
Why we should destroy most of the world’s economy to stop global warming when the evidence is that it is cooling.
Why tunnels are the Devil’s work.
Why it is good for the economy that housing should cost 4 times the necessary price.
Why the half blood Prince is so obviously more experienced, competent, honest, intelligent, capable of making the tough decisions & likely to balance the budget than Barracuda Sarah?
Now lets see if there is a single person here capable of making a coherent answer to any of these. You can phone a friend if it helps.
“While Nasa, the US space agency, cites 2005 as the warmest year, the UK’s Hadley Centre lists it as second to 1998.
Researchers say the uncertainty in the observed value for any particular year is larger than these small temperature differences. What matters, they say, is the long-term upward trend.” BBC.com
We don’t need to prove you wrong. You’re doing a pretty good job if it yourself.
Ah, back on firmer ground here with a thinly veiled racist comment and bestiality fantasy. Well done.
Wow Mr Craig, that was a bit long for Sunday. In response to “Now despite all the kindergarten humour this site pretends to be one where people so intellectually rarefied that they can prove the common people wrong just by giggling.”, I don’t think that this site has ever pretended to intellecually rareified, as far as I am aware it sole existence is as a forum where like minded purile folk can get together and bait the ‘serious’ folk who pst on HYS, the fact that some of the people on here are quite knowlegeable and intelligent is possibly a by product. As nobody has responded so far I can only assume that the good ship Cormorants Clunge has set sail leaving myself and Gobbler on the quayside. None of this is serious. If you do wish to have your theories taken seriously, please get out your soapbox and broadcast it to the ordinary folk of the UK, you may get more than 80 people agreeing with you, however ditch the BBC paranoia, it’s a TV broadcaster in amongst 100′s of others, not the public service arm of MI5, CIA, Mossad, KGB (can never keep up with what those guys call themsleves these days) or any other state sponsored secrect service-It shows strictly come dancing for heavans, valhalla, nirvana’s sake (multicutralism in the afterlife there).
“Of it” Fucksocks.
At least my first stab at blockquotes worked out pretty well.
” Barracuda Sarah”
Half woman half fish?
Mr Craig are you claiming the exsitence of Mermaids?
@Lurker, got what you meant, never have worked out the block quotes thing myself, but that obvioulsly means I am not up to intellectual sparring with Mr Craig.
@TBitC – Why not? He obviously stands as much chance of getting a shag off a mythical creature as he does of getting anywhere near a real lady’s pee-pee.
Marina, aqua Marina (one for all the Stingray fans there)
What has Steve Irwin got to do with any of this?
To paraphrase my old Commander; “Anything can happen in the next half hour… when Neil Craig’s about”
I’m praying for the day that Colin Whinger or dear Joy find their way to this site.
Not wishing to answer for Throbbing MICE who can fight his own battles, he (or myself, or Kelvin et al) would admit we know little about MMGW because it is not our field. We are lay people.
If you want a new roof, you get a good roofer and let him/her do his/her professional job. We hesitate to contradict the roofer’s knowledge they have aquired which we do not posses. The same goes for scientists. We only know what we have gathered from popular science media and University education.
But (and I warrant that this is a BIG but) “taking you on” about GW is very hard; not because you are an authority, but because you are a fool. We are aware we are lay people, but you know so little that you challenge the professionals. Any intelligent man would not dare to challenge the academic opinion of the Global scientific community with such breath-takingly feeble arguments as yours. You MUST be a fool if you cannot see that. So we will not “take you on” to try to convince of your errant ways. We are just putting the boot in to one of the millions of over-confident, ignorant dickheads who blight our lives and bugger up democracy. You are not debate, you are sport.
“If you want a new roof, you get a good roofer and let him/her do his/her professional job.”
I can attest to that-I made a complete Neil Craig of my shed roof.
Neil – 2008 was the 10th warmest year in a time series going back to 1850. 10th out of 158. Sits in the top 7% of values. Is that really your idea of a cool year?
If your denial of MMCC is based purely on the temperature record does this mean than up until 1999 you believed in MMCC? If the 1998 temperature is surpassed in the next few years (and our understanding of physics indicates it will) are you going to admit that you are wrong? Can we I come over to your web site and accept your gracious apology for your error?
As for setting yourself up as a representative of the ‘common man’, I should point out that you are the one and only member of your own political party and received a record low of 80 votes in the election. Why didn’t the common man vote for you?
@History Crow, Can we not work out Joy’s mobile number from her IP and send her a text?
Weeeell, it’s very hard to give a coherent answer to questions that are so bafflingly incoherent (to the mentally stable), illogical, downright freaky and scarily odd that one just does not know how to respond. It’s like when you’re at a railway station or bus stop and some wobbly old tramp comes up to you and starts talking about how Sandra went off with Jock in 63 and he can’t ever forget because that was also the first night the pixies came and sat on the end of his bed and told him about the Jewish plot to sell us all to Satan and you just don’t know how to respond because it’s all insane jibberjabber but you don’t want to inflame him by saying, ‘what the fuck are you on about, you nutcase? Now piss off’ in case he goes snookerloopy stabmental on you or similar.
Besides, we’re not interested in answering you or indeed, your questions in the first place. This is a place where we mock tragic losers, asshats, twatbaskets and mentals. You coming on here is basically you admitting your problems. But it’s a first step. Good for you. Now, is there anything you’d like to talk about with my Freudian Slippers? For an extreme case like you, they will work Sundays…
@Gobbler – don’t worry, I still love you… no, not like THAT! Down, boy, down! Ewwwww. Bad dog.
@FP – I imagined ‘Jerusalem’ playing in the background as I read your last comment. Bravo, old chap, bravo! (wipes away proud tear)
Don’t forget that Switzerland is one hour ahead, be sure to send it at 3.42
Should read ‘or indeed, in your questions in the first place’.
I blame Sunday.
Do you mean coherent-coherent or Neil-Craig-coherent? I can have a stab at the latter…
Aha! So you admit that your comments are wackaloon, as you did not deny it in your answer!
But I have also not ever seen any suggestion by the BBC that a golden statue of him should be raised up on a plinth and gilt in the radiance of the sun, yea even so that God himself should look upon it and weep for his beauty. Without them doing so, clearly they are condemning him by omission.
I never said anything about wanting to rape girls, underage or otherwise. So exactly whose psyche are these scenarios coming from?
There is absolutely no evidence that any BBC presenter, on air, has ever denounced the notion that Neil Craig puts his willy in the church collection and waggles it around so that all God’s money gets touched by his gentleman. Therefore all I can assume is that the entire BBC is in favour of what you’re doing, although personally I find it abhorrent Neil.
Because according to research from the University of Strathclyde, for every three metres you dig a tunnel down, it gets 0.35 degrees celcius hotter. The reason is clearly that deep tunnels go close to Hell. Satan encourages tunnel builders to do so in order to bring souls close enough to power his windmills, which are powered by souls not wind. You cannot dispute this FACT because I put numbers at the start of it and that makes it SCIENTIFIC PROOF.
Well, other than everything he says, does, thinks and imagines, he’s obviously better at diplomacy than she is. She could only see Russia from Alaska; he was brought up in Hawaii where he could see China AND Japan, so he’s twice as good at foreign relations and stuff. QED.
This made me very happy.
Oh Neil, one more thing – there have been other fringe political parties in Scotland that got a similarly feeble amount of media coverage as your own, and yet they didn’t poll the lowest ever share of a popular vote the way you did. What did they have that you don’t?
I thought this thread was about Rhyss Jagger.
@Neil Craig: I have a BSc in Chemistry from Bristol. I am NOT an expert. However, I know enough to give more credence to specialists and experts wrt MMCC (or should that be “so-called experts”?) that to an ill-educated shop-keeper.
Is that an elitist comment?. I posed a similar question on here a few threads back: Why do morons like yourself use Americanisms? Is it because that’s where you get your opinions whether you realise it or not? eg “Liberal”=”Atheist/Pinko”, and “Elitist”=”Anyone with a high standard of education”=”State”=”Enemy of ‘Normal’ People”. Would you go to the newsagent if you were coughing up blood? Do you go to see the man who runs the chippy to fix your car. No!! You see the people who have the education/experience needed. So don’t come here to debate MMCC. This site is not a debating chamber of any sort. See the “about us” page.
To continue this debate, I suggest going to here, but that’s up to you.
A couple of straight questions for you, Neil.
1. Do you hate women?
2. Do you hate black/non-white people?
3. Do you hate homosexuals/bisexuals?
4. Do you hate Muslims?
5. Do you hate Jews?
These are honest questions, Neil.
Hey hey hey, let’s not throw around accusations wildly here. Have we proved he owns the shop, or is he just a chain store manager?
Topsy doesn’t seem to have posted in the last month. Maybe that rugby team he captains has gone on tour.
Kelvin is not allowed to post porn on your website in North Korea.
North Korea is not a democracy.
∴ Being a democracy is a result of Kelvin being allowed to post porn on your website.
QED
“Mr Stack you are clearly Norman Fraser. It is barely credible that there would be 2 people wishing to spend their time trolling round the net to stick out their tongues at me.”
…and yet, somehow, I’ve momentarily strained my disbelief to conceive that such a scenario might just be a possibility.
At the store…
Comic Book Guy: Yes, I would like to return your quote unquote, Ultimate Belt.
Storekeeper: I see, do you have a receipt, quote unquote, sir?
CBG: I do not have a receipt, I won it as a door prize at the Star Trek convention, although I find their choice of prize highly illogical as the average Trekker has no use for a medium-sized belt.
Storekeeper: Whoa, whoa. A fat, sarcastic Star Trek fan. You must be a devil with the ladies.
CBG: Hey, I… Huh… Tha… Oh…
Storekeeper: Gee, I hate to let you down Casanova, but uh, no receipt, no return.
Bart: I’ll give you four bucks for it.
CBG: Very well. Now I must hurry back to my comic book store, where I dispense the insults rather than absorb them.
………………………………….
Outside Alec Baldwin’s House…
CBG: Alec! Alec! Regarding that so called “silent” propulsion system in “The Hunt For Red October”, I printed out a list of technical errors which I think you’d enjoy discussing with me…. awwww
Well. Fun though this has been, I reckon it’s time to end all this excitement. He’s not used to people actually listening to his bizarre whining and I’m worried that all this attention is getting a bit much for him. He might wank all the water out of his body.
Let’s let him go back to writing long, unhinged blog posts that nobody reads because they’re bollocks.
No, actually this one is more appropriate…
At the Bi-Mon-Sci-Fi-Con…
CBG: Someone has mixed an “Amazing Spiderman” in with the “Peter Parker – The Spectacular Spiderman” series. This will not stand.
Woman: Pardon me, but I wish to tender a serious cash offer for this stack of water damaged Little Lulus.
CBG: Huh, A) that is not water, it is Diet Mr. Pib, and B) I… (CBG turns to look at the woman) Ohh… Err… Tell me, how do you feel about 45 year old virgins who still live with their parents?
Woman: Comb the Sweet Tarts out of your beard and you’re on.
CBG: Don’t try to change me baby.
Damn you blockquotes…
How many of the thousands of BBC employees actually get to appear in front of a camera? Even with that tiny tiny percentage that do, (and we have to disregard Blue Peter presenters etc because really what is the chance of them dropping that between defleeing a dog and building Tracy Island) them not mentioning it has fuck all to do with them supporting it… only a complete moron would make that leap in logic.
*gulp* a dislocated post order by pure bad luck now makes it look like I told Lord Nelson to sod off!
This has all the appearance of mutiny! I’ll swing from the highest gibbet in Southampton dock for this day’s work if they catch me. Pirate Pete! Pirate Pete? Is there room for one more aboard the Jolly Rogered Cabin-Boy.
@FP – That’s my personal favourite CBG moment
But you still ain’t sharing with me aboard The Cormorant’s Clunge. I’m sneaking TYF aboard dressed as a giant gay lobster (why? Why not).
I kinda agree with Nelson; twat-baiting is fun at first, what with the heady excitement of catching a ‘live one’, instead of reacting to comments originally posted elsewhere but ultimately, the endeavour is pointless and unrewarding – we’re never going to get anywhere cos they is well mental, innit, I personally start to feel like a bully picking on a thick kid and it detracts from old skool-stylee SYBing.
Still, there’s no harm in going a little buckwild at the weekends…
as a frequent reader but rare commenter on SYB I am heartened by how many sensible, purile-minded SYBers live in my own home city of Glasgow! Which I always thought was inhabited mainly by the kind of twatbasket-type we see in Neil. And of course the ubiquitous Neds, who are, needless to say, snookerloopy stabmentalists.
anyway, can we all get together some time at the Doublet and snicker into our pints at Neil, so he thinks we’re all Norman Fraser?
Maybe Nelson should have some form of pre-entry qualification for the site:
If they agree that 2+2= 4, they can enter.
If they think that 2+2= 4 million darkie gay disabled immigrunts who are all going to come over here & take our jobs whilst at the same time not working and sponging off the state and causing everyone to die because of the big BBC/Librul conspiracy, then they could be put into the internet equivalent of a big circus sideshow cage (possibly using majik & electrickery) whereupon they could be occasionally poked & pointed at (& ultimately pitied) without distracting from the main event of the circus – even if the circus can’t have any animals anymore (sorry Gobbler) because of the aforementioned PC/BBC/Librul conspiracy.
If I’m right.
@ Bit Spesh.
But… but… you can’t stop now, we’re on for a hat-trick. First 1984 returned for a real arse-walloping. Then Neil Craig willingly put his goatee-bearded head on the block. And if my karmic intuitions are right, these two were merely the heralds of he who shall soon be amongst us. The spirits are whispering slight murmurs that all good things come in threes. We await the coming of the self-chosen one…
@FP – you mean Topsy, right? I would gladly renounce my previous statement if He would grace us with His presence, blessed be His name.
Let us pray…
I first became aware of electrickery when it was mentioned by the great twentieth century philosopher and scarecrow, Professor Emeritus Doctor Worzel Gummidge, when he opined to Aunt Sally, on what I recall was a TV documentary, that it was the source of the majick driving the Telling-bone.
When viewing his photograph earlier, I was struck by the uncanny resemblance to him of Mr Craig. Professor Gummidge was also a turnip-head, of course.
Oh Dammit, Nelson, how many times have I told you to fix those wretched blockquotes thingummies? What’s the point of being the leader of the liberal elite conspiracy if you can’t get other people to do your plebby blockquotes for you? We pay your wages, after all. Abusus non tollit usum, surely, old chap?
“I now mention spEak You’re bRanes where a bunch of Hooray Henrys who work at the BBC”
Oi Craigy, less of the Hooray Henry, I always miss Henley and the boat race just isn’t the same anymore since they let ‘comprehensive kids’ in.
I have to say Rhys Jaggar got off lightly cpmpared to our 9% Growth of Turnip head
Indeed. My point was that on subjects that I am an expert of sorts on, such as modular construction to reduce housing costs, I am qualified to tell you all that Neil has the beginnings of the right idea, but then ruins it all by plucking some figures out of thin air and talking fluent slocklob.
The pleasingly ironic bit is that in this Neil has a lot in common with the journalists that he so despises.
We start off mocking them but then I start to get frightened. I wish my Mummy was here.
It’s a good job no-one reads NC’s blog, agrees with him, thinks he’s sane or would touch him with a bargepole, because he might make people truly believe that we are a sinister cabal of upper-class media twonks privy to info no-one else ever gets to see which we then callously rip the shit out of for our own egotistical, superiority-complex-driven amusement.
I feel compelled to address this/have nothing better to do whilst TYF plays Virtual Tennis 3 on the PS3 (YAWN).
Let me spell it out for you once and for all, Neil:
1) I think about 1 person who visits here works for the BBC. The rest of us have normal, boring jobs, or are students or are unemployed, whatever. We have no affiliation or involvement with the BBC in any way, shape or form.
You need psychiatric help. Seriously. You are beyond even the reach of my slippers.
2) We don’t have access to all their computer records, you raving loonpot. Lies like this are bordering on slanderous.
3) The comments we take the piss out of are NOT those censored from other blogs, they are comments on public websites like the BBC’s Have Your Say, which anyone in the world with access to that particular website can see. Millions around the globe could cut and paste any of the comments and then post them on a website for other people to comment on, just like this website does – they are not exclusive things that only we get to see.
4) Nelson or sometimes Alex select the most stupid/ignorant/misinformed/crazy/rightwing/all of the above comments from these public websites (or other people who visit here send them to them), and copy them on here with an acerbic and hilarious little opinion piece about them and then we all take the piss out of them.
5) This is because we like to callously rip the shit out of them because the comments and opinions either make us sick, make us despair at the human race or make us laugh and we’re a bunch of sarky buggers. None of us – or very few of us – know each other in real life (or so I presume).
6) THIS IS ALL.
7)Not being Scottish does not automatically make us that aristocratic rapey Tim Roth character out of Rob Roy. And you certainly ain’t Liam Neeson.
(You’re not going to pay attention to any of this because I’m not Kelvin and I’m a woman, aren’t you? God, when will you just admit your unquenchable big gay love for Kelvin and put an end to this charade?)
Now look what you’ve made me do – I’ve been serious. And on a weekend too – you BASTARD!
PS Nelson, etc.: if I got any of the details slightly wrong, then please accept my epilogies. I am only a laydee and don’t understand how tecknollerjee works.
SEE? I’m so crap that I didn’t know 8 + ) made 8)!
I better go look at cuteoverload or something.
” None of us – or very few of us – know each other in real life (or so I presume).”
Unless we all get together for an Adriatic cruise on the Cormorants Clunge.
I have commented a link to Neil Craig’s comment blog, which may get flagged as spam and show up later.
To find it yourself, here is the blog posting to which the comments apply.
Why didn’t it do it that time? Boohoo
Oh Kelvin, are you the Ed? Forgive me my ignorance, master. (grovels abjectly)
@Ed aka Kelvin, thanks for the link,it proves what we already had worked out, that Mr Craig is a paranoid weirdy beardy, conspiracy theorising, delusional, window lickingly special, dingo’s dangler of the highest order.
Dear Neil, Mater tua criceta fuit, et pater tuo redoluit bacarum sambucus.
In the past 10 days we’ve had two HYSers come in and start slamming the cyber-desk, demanding to see the manager. This has been immensely entertaining. It’s an itsy bit scary, but somehow reassuring, that both of them immediately constructed improbable conspiracy theories about SYB invovling impossible technology and conspiracies within The BBC. They also both tried to tell people about it and got laughed at for their trouble.
So while it shows the world is full of nutters, it also shows the HYS agenda is unlikely to become a major force in the world. We may sleep safe in our beds secure in the knowledge that we are surrounded on all sides by millions of ineffectual, forehead-bashing, swivel-eyed lunatics.
Although we’ve all heard it before, I vote for “swivel-eyed lunatics” as second-best phrase of the day.
The first-best? “Snookerloopy stabmental”, of course.
WOO-HOO! Do I get a prize (apart from the honour, of course – feeling a bit choked up right now)?
Neil likes to post a lot on the Newsnight threads, following the link from his blog we find him ranting endlessly about really far out conspiracy shit. At 2:10pm on 09 Jun 2009, neilninepercent wrote:
Fucksticks. I’m drenched in guilt again. OK, I’m agreeing with Bit Spesh and Nelson; venting liberal anger on these loons who blunder in is bullying. They’re too fragile to be given truck loads of savage abuse (which I have been merrily venting for the last 48 hours). If we wind him up too much, he’ll bury the cash register in some kid’s head for asking if he stocks The Beano.
Indeed. As Benjamin Franklin once said: “The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorace; it is Neil Craig.”
Ignorance. Bugger that typo.
woof?????
grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
I think I’ve found the ninepercenters a campaign song for the next elections. It seems to incorporate Neil’s philosophy subtly, yet effectively.
http://www.rathergood.com/seepage
Oh well… since the hounds have been called off I shall return to my kennel. I will just mention my naughty moment. On Friday, roughly 8ish in the evening I attempted to post on Neil’s site the comment “Why did you censor my last post. Do you hate freedom so much”… He has the choice to post it… and look like a censorer or simply censor it and be a censorer…
He went for the latter… Big Brother would be proud… I know now why he needs so many tunnels… It’s to bury opinion he objects to once his party transcends to power… and old copies of Hawk the Slayer.
Except for the extracts from the complaints log. Aha! Explain that, and watch the secret network of hate unravel!
I would though quite like to know how many of the 79 votes the 9GP party got were genuine votes from other technolatrous libertoonians and how many were just Mister Magoo-style mistakes by elderly shepherds and crofters struggling with the saxon tongue.
Mesostim, apologies for singling you out, as others have said similar things, you were just closest.
You are sailing perilously close to “publish this if you dare!!!1!!”, after which the Craigmeister simply has to publish the comment and make you sound like one of them.
[BLOCKQUOTE]Well. Fun though this has been, I reckon it’s time to end all this excitement. He’s not used to people actually listening to his bizarre whining and I’m worried that all this attention is getting a bit much for him. He might wank all the water out of his body.[/BLOCKQUOTE]
I couldn’t agree more, Nelson. My generous offer of a shag to Mr Craig and his Manly Beard was not even acknowledged and I felt so rejected.
Seriously, it’s been tears on my pillow all weekend*
Never mind – Neil will soon know how that rejection feels when we stop paying attention to him and his blog returns to a readership of one. Including himself.
*I’m OK now. I’ve had a Star Bar and seen something else I want.
Fucksticks!
I suggest you accuse him of re-arranging the gnomes in your garden in the middle of the night. Then insist that the brusque letter you received from your bank this morning was due to his high-level interference. And finally assert that he arranged for United Utilities to dig up your street outside your house in order to spy closely on your activities.
THEN… in a clear loud type say, “Its publish or police time, Neil. No choice after you arranged the gnomes. Bank letters and roadworks, where do you stop?”
Your firm tone of outraged moral decency will surely terrifty him into compliance with your every whim.
Outraged moral decency
I’ve become what hate… shoot me 
Er, Stephen Baxter?
Well it looks like you have answered my question in the affirmative:
“Now despite all the kindergarten humour this site pretends to be one where people so intellectually rarefied that they can prove the common people wrong just by giggling. Is it wholly impossible for anybody here to put up an intelligent argument on:
Why we should destroy most of the world’s economy to stop global warming when the evidence is that it is cooling.
Why tunnels are the Devil’s work.
Why it is good for the economy that housing should cost 4 times the necessary price.
Why the half blood Prince is so obviously more experienced, competent, honest, intelligent, capable of making the tough decisions & likely to balance the budget than Barracuda Sarah?
Now lets see if there is a single person here capable of making a coherent answer to any of these. You can phone a friend if it helps.”
It clearly is indeed wholly impossible for any of you to make a coherent answer on anything. Thank you.
Mincer – up until 1998 the evidence did tend to support warming, though not necessarily catastrophic & I thought it likely there was something to it. I’m sure you consider allowing oneself to change ones mind when the evidence changes to be a sign of weakness. So be it.
Simon – No X 5 – nor do I hate Black people who are White (#2)
Best of luck in getting Al Gore & David Miliband to fix your car.
Mesostim – Thank you for that demonstration of the sort of integrity to be expected from the drooling branes here. It is quite obvious which of us would be happier doing Winston Smith’s job though perhaps you don’t understand the disadvantages of boasting of being a liar.
Funny pec I hope you will convey to your 15 year old niece my respects. In a remark about it being impossible to give an absolute figure for global temperature, which you inexplicably interpreted as meaning that we should immediately destroy the world economy on the off chance, she has reached the same conclusion as a prominent sceptic:
“I consider the concept of a global mean temperature to be somewhat dubious. A single number cannot adequately capture climate change. This number, as I see it, is aimed mostly at politicians and journalists.”
Craig Bohren”
Professor Emeritus
Pennsylvania State University
Clearly this young lady is intellectually an order of magnitude smarter than all the assorted alleged PHD & CDM regulars here.
I can’t think of any finer way to end this thread, than with Neil’s essay, showcasing as it does the full extent of his intellect, maturity and ability to construct a coherent, rational argument.