spEak You're bRanes

Permanently Bewildered and The Regular Twats22 Jul 2009 09:41 am

By Nelson

What is the legacy of the Moon landing?

Why will it take until 2020 to land on the moon again? If they’ve already done it 40 years ago, why can’t they just go ahead and do it again now?
Dave Blake

Yeah, fuck’s sake, it’s not rocket science.

165 Responses to “Dave, Scientist”

on 22 Jul 2009 at 10:01 am Rosie

Perhaps all the moon-size TV studios are booked until then
on 22 Jul 2009 at 10:05 am Expert Scientist

It’s not exactly brain surgery is it?
on 22 Jul 2009 at 10:07 am Colin

“Why can’t I buy a third plasma telly for the bathroom and get another loan to build an extension on my conservatory? Last year they gave me twenty credit cards with a £15,000 limit, and a 110% mortgage for a second home in Marbaya, why can’t they just do it again now?”
on 22 Jul 2009 at 10:23 am Bit Special AKA Ms Pedant

I’m hoping that was an ironic spelling of Marbella…
on 22 Jul 2009 at 10:24 am Dumbest

It’s obvious why we have to wait. They have do a secret mission to plant the evidence so that we don’t realise it was all faked 40 years ago.

Oh and remove the WWII bomber
on 22 Jul 2009 at 10:29 am Colin

@ Bit Special AKA Ms Pedant

Yep. I did consider spelling it “Marbayarr” at first, but then figured people might not get it…
on 22 Jul 2009 at 10:34 am burnel

You only have to point a rocket thingy in the general direction of the moon, I mean it’s quite big, you cant exactly miss it can you..Why dont they do it now?
on 22 Jul 2009 at 10:37 am the crew of Dark Star

‘cos space travel is so tedious it drives you to the brink of insanity, and aliens (in reality Space Hoppers with claw feet) an irritating annoyance best left alone.

(apols, obscure sci fi movie reference that know one (other than neil craig) will get)
on 22 Jul 2009 at 10:58 am RadiatorLizard

I love Dark Star – does this make me a Craigesque figure?

BTW, “You are false data” followed by a firm slam of the door is a great way of dismissing unwanted Christians.
on 22 Jul 2009 at 11:26 am Neil Craig

Kennedy called for a Moon landing in 1962 & it happened in 1969 so it is perfectly sensible to ask why it would take twice as long now.

Whatever NASA say I doubt they will make it by 2020 unless they buy a ticket on the Chinese rocket.
on 22 Jul 2009 at 11:31 am Charles Exford, Oxton

Dear Mr. Blake,

Unfortunately, we are not currently in a position to be able to undertake a manned mission to the moon. This is because our #1 priority is to develop a delivery system capable of firing know-nothing twats into the sun.

Yours faithfully

NASA
on 22 Jul 2009 at 11:41 am Dr Feelgood

At least Dave believes in the Moon landings, 25% of the UK population think they were faked. http://kn.theiet.org/magazine/issues/0912/fake-right-0912.cfm

How nice of the bottom quartile to make it so easy to identify them.

Anyhow, seeing as we have established the staff of the BBC come to this site, what Neil has worked out that this is where you actually read the posts – unlike HYS and all the other shite vomited up all over the BBC web empire.

So, BBCistas while we have your attention, please please please can you cancel Last of the Summer Wine – in the name of GOD, it’s gone on too long. Please have some pity!
on 22 Jul 2009 at 11:45 am Funny Peculiar

Hi Neil, you elitist bastard, why aren’t you busy trampling on the people you want to represent and silencing their opinions? Stifler of truth. Promoter of lies. Obstacle of free speech. Spin Doctor. Propagandist. Cyber-thug. Truth blocker. Dishonest politician. Biased reporter. Self promoter. Shameless opponent of liberty. Abuser of power. Misleading charlatan. Massive fucking hypocrite.

oh and twat, obviously.
on 22 Jul 2009 at 11:46 am burnel

“Kennedy called for a Moon landing in 1962 & it happened in 1969 so it is perfectly sensible to ask why it would take twice as long now.”

No it fucking isn’t.
on 22 Jul 2009 at 11:48 am AndyS

it’d obvious why it’ll take til 2020. all the computers only powerful enough to run calculators and phones are being used by calculators and phones.

in 2020 however, all phone calls will be done by those watches dick tracy had so the not-very powerful computers will be free again to power moon rockets.

that and 2020 is when mr spoon’s lease runs out.
on 22 Jul 2009 at 11:49 am burnel

Or maybe it chuffing is
on 22 Jul 2009 at 11:50 am Ceannair

Just had a gander at Craig’s website.

Can anyone spot the typo ???

—————————

I hadn’t intended to do another Palin article so soon but she did this article in the Washington Post (which is pretty deep in the enemy heartland) which I want to do some fisking of because I think it says something about her policies & her tactics.

—————————–

Incidentally, Neil – and others that Sky News trot out ?

Writing on a PC does NOT make you a “net journalist”, “online social commentator” or any of the other words.

You’re a tit with a PC like the rest of is. Get a job.
on 22 Jul 2009 at 11:52 am Throbbe

A not unreasonable question Craigy, although I suspect that Kennedy would not have publically announced plans to put a man on the moon in ’62 unless plans were already well underway.
on 22 Jul 2009 at 11:55 am Funny Peculiar

Anyway I’m sure your mum thinks you are a passable attempt at a human being so what does she know? – neil craig, a place to stand

Oh dear. The would-be MP for Glasgow Central and The Leader of The 9%Growth Party has just plumped for the ‘yeah, well, your mum smells of wee then, nur’ argument in order to discredit her evaluation of Paddy Ashdown.
on 22 Jul 2009 at 12:12 pm ligne

I suspect that Kennedy would not have publically announced plans to put a man on the moon in ‘62 unless plans were already well underway.

actually, they’d got nowhere — they just got very scared the russians were leaving them behind.

that’s also why they had him assassinated. they were afraid he’d promise a cure for AIDS, decades before anyone had heard of it. otherwise the TRUTH would have got out that it was created by the government.
on 22 Jul 2009 at 12:22 pm Sensible Skeptic

I don’t want to sound like a loon, but there are some points in the “moon-landing faked” list of objections that do provoke some very sketchy answers from NASA. Check out these photos/issues here…

http://stuffucanuse.com/fake_moon_landings/moon_landings.htm
on 22 Jul 2009 at 12:30 pm Rod Wrongnob

“Check out these photos/issues here…”

Errrrmmm, no?

P.S. Dark Star is class.
on 22 Jul 2009 at 12:33 pm crew of Dark Star

The point Dave Bloke (and Neil C) are missing is that putting a man on the moon is expensive, dangerous and pointless when unmanned missions are cheaper, safer and yield more scientific data.

Putting men on the moon was good for demonstrating the American long point things were more potent than the Soviet long pointy things, but not much else.

Manned space travel – pointless and excruciatingly tedious. Now, where’s my surf-board?
on 22 Jul 2009 at 12:33 pm Mr Cat

Sensible Skeptic

That was very good.

Very good indeed.
on 22 Jul 2009 at 12:42 pm Bit Special AKA La Spesh

@Sensible Skeptic – aaah, that takes me back.
on 22 Jul 2009 at 12:43 pm Dr Feelgood

Thank you Sensible Skeptic, before I checked your link I was about to go off on a rant about your intelligence.

The scales have fallen from my eyes – what a revelation. Now I am fully converted to doubt the moon landings too.

PS. BBC people, the Sky at Night – why is it always on so late? What sort of people would stay up to the small hours for a programme on their favourite hobby? Eh?
on 22 Jul 2009 at 12:44 pm alt-f4

They are going back to the moon. On October the 9th this year there is a special NASA mission to bomb the Moon’s south pole.

The official reason for the bombing campaign is to “search for water”, with the real reason being disguised by use of “water” as a code word. They are actually concerned that the terrorists may be setting up moon bases, and even if they are not, they may do someday. So the War on Moon will still be useful as area-denial to terrorist forces even if no moon-based suspects are captured or killed in the October bombing.

This is not a first. In the early days of space exploration the US was similarly convinced that the CCCP were developing nuclear weapons on secret moon bases and launched a string of gamma-ray sensitive satelittes to search for them.
on 22 Jul 2009 at 12:50 pm Bilko

Well, Dave Blake, the cost of the original moon landings was well in excess of $100 billion US Dollars, which in real terms now, converted into GREAT BRITISH UKIP pounds (NOT EUROS)would work out as 9,461,897 Have Your Say posters forgoing their Jobseeker’s Allowance for a WHOLE WEEK.

Beans on toast and only using your library card for internet access. COULD IT BE DONE???

(Got all my figures off of an 8 year-old Geocities message board and my desktop calculator. You see, Neil Craig? I can do top-notch research too)
on 22 Jul 2009 at 12:57 pm fucko the clown

I read someone got there on a london bus once, god knows how, the ones round here never go fucking anywhere.
on 22 Jul 2009 at 1:02 pm the man in the street

Yeah, why can’t we just go ahead and do it now? I mean, I’m no expert, I know nothing about rocket science, space travel, how to build a fully functioning rocket, the amount of money and time it would take to build the thing, how long it would take to get the money to build the thing, the way that NASA works, the way that any other international space agency works, anything about space whatsoever apart from what you’d expect a child to know, the history of US space travel, the history of moon landings and attempted moon landings or anything else to do with space travel, but I reckon it could be pretty easy.
on 22 Jul 2009 at 1:51 pm Man of Kent

We should blow up the moon, just to see what happens. Should be a laugh.
on 22 Jul 2009 at 2:00 pm Funny Peculiar

from the BBC Knife-crime thread…

“Caught carrying a knife? Send them to Afganistan.”
Asma, London

“Captain?”
“Yes, Sargeant”
“What do you want me to do with Chav Platoon? Shall I take ‘em out on patrol with my boys?”
“Can’t Sargeant McKenzie take them? They’re his platoon.”
“Oh, haven’t you heard, Sir? Chav Platoon hospitalised McKenizie this morning. He tried to confiscate Private Jennings’s Game-boy while out patrolling on Iskander Street, Sir. Punctured lung and extensive bruising, a proper blighty wound.”
on 22 Jul 2009 at 2:02 pm History Crow

“Kennedy called for a Moon landing in 1962 & it happened in 1969 so it is perfectly sensible to ask why it would take twice as long now.”

It’d be sensible to do a bit of research

1. Nasa had a far larger cheque signed off by Congress, compared to what they have now

2. None of the infrastructure for building the Saturn V rockets remains, and a lot of budget is still tied up with the Shuttle.
on 22 Jul 2009 at 2:12 pm Neil Craig

Actually Crow they have a much bigger budget now it is just the $ isn’t as valuable.

Perhaps just a nitpick but if you are going to make a point about other people not doing the research…
on 22 Jul 2009 at 2:17 pm Knife crimer with a free PS3

I was actually forced to serve with the Chav Platoon for a little while after my latest bit of happy stabbing. Of course, it all turned out to be an administrative error and I was sent back to my usual 4 star rehabilitation hotel once it had been resolved.

I have to say that, although stylish, the standard-issue Burberry uniform makes for bloody awful camouflage.
on 22 Jul 2009 at 2:27 pm History Crow

Neil… you’re wrong.
on 22 Jul 2009 at 2:34 pm Clovis Sangrail

Neil – I’m not an economist (I just look at bugs n’ beetles n’ stuff in a BBC hooray henry kind of way) but if you have more dollars, but each dollar is worth less then you can buy less rockety moon stuff than if your dollars are bigger (spendy wise). When dollars were bigger (and came in big glass bell jars, and you got the broken ones for free), you could buy loads of burny rocket juice and shiny space rock repelling rocket bits than you can now the dollars are small and not as tasty and a bit Euro-like EVEN though you have more of them. I may have confused myself – I’m off to look at the Clangers on youtube (thanks sensible skeptic)
on 22 Jul 2009 at 2:38 pm chris

Actually Crow they have a much bigger budget now it is just the $ isn’t as valuable.

The budget is typed up double spaced, in big fonts, on one side of the paper so actually it is bigger you see.
on 22 Jul 2009 at 2:54 pm tegid

In fairness to Neil, as he pointed out – the budget is a bigger number now, just less valuable by comparison.

But Neil – yes, this is nitpicking. I think we all understood what Crow meant.
on 22 Jul 2009 at 3:15 pm Rob

Many of us like to call it inflation. In inflation-adjusted terms the budget was far larger 40 years ago. The reason being, of course, that the remaining dollars are now being dropped on Iraq and Afghanistan.
on 22 Jul 2009 at 3:19 pm Ire

Come on guys, you can’t start actually *debating* the issue. If you want to do that, there’s a perfectly good website here.
on 22 Jul 2009 at 3:22 pm Kelvin

Star Trek: The Wrath Of Khan was a much better film than The Motion Picture, but it only cost about half as much, and didn’t take so long to make. Neil’s point stands, I think.
on 22 Jul 2009 at 3:40 pm Funny Peculiar

Took the words out of my mouth, Ire. The problem with nasty little mosquitos like Neil is that you just can’t stop scratching their irritating bites. It feels soooo good. You challenge just one little lunatic comment, which of course he replies to and pretty soon you find you have arranged a vast army of posts and proofs and logical conclusions that completely back his ideas into a corner. “That’ll show you, ya tosser, I win.” you say to yourself, admiring your seamless wall of logic. But Neil can just ‘magic’ all your arguments away by pretending they’re not there and still TRULY believe he’s an all conquering champion of everything. Because, yousee, he’s completely fucking Maaaaaaaaaaaaaad. His train has come off the rails and is stuck in a muddy ditch with it’s wheels spinning merrily.

Arguing with him is like arguing with vicious mutant spaghetti that was cloned in a lab experiment which went terribly wrong. You just get wrapped up in a load of weird shit that doesn’t make any sense and scares the hell out of you. Do not try to debate with The Craig Monster, it’ll suck out your Branes.
on 22 Jul 2009 at 3:51 pm That Bloke in the corner

@Funny Peculiar, you’ve got to hand it to Neil though, after all the abuse over the weekend and yesterday, he still keeps coming back and joins in-fair play to him, but he is still a tinfoil hat wearing loon as the picture yesterday testified
on 22 Jul 2009 at 3:54 pm Simon

Neil,

We are vanquished and humbled!
on 22 Jul 2009 at 3:56 pm Theodore

As a relative newcomer to SYB, I have noticed that more and more debating of facts has occurred of late.
Slowly but surely this site is becoming what it was designed to take the piss out of.
I am not interested in the facts that people produce to back their viewpoints because I can easily rustle up a different bunch of phoney scientific guff from the internet to back an opposing viewpoint.
If you want to jerk yourself off by parading your tailored, completely non-objective half-arsed research to any twat who will listen then fuck off somewhere else and do it. HYS being most arseholes destination of choice.
I’m here to take this piss out of fuckwits like you, not debate with you.
on 22 Jul 2009 at 3:57 pm Simon

… and bored and irritated.

Please, please, please, read the “about us” page. Then think about it. Then, by all means, post something here about HYS loons. That is the raison d’être of this site.

Again, read the “about us” and think!
on 22 Jul 2009 at 3:58 pm alt-f4

We should blow up the moon, just to see what happens. Should be a laugh.

Assuming we used powerful enough bombs to smash it into smithereens the dust would eventually spread out to form rings around the Earth. Which would make for much prettier, albeit darker, nights. Eclipse-releated tourism revenues would plummet though.

In the Hollywood version though, any attempt to blow up the Moon would invariably entail some unforeseen and hitherto unsuspected warping of the planet’s gravitational field causing the debris to fall to Earth causing spectactualar secondary explosions in major cities.
on 22 Jul 2009 at 3:58 pm Kelvin

after all the abuse over the weekend and yesterday, he still keeps coming back and joins in

That’s because he loves being abused. Being abused means he gets to play the misunderstood underdog, passive-aggressively being smarter than everyone else. He gets attention, he gets to flaunt his ‘superior intellect’ and he gets to maintain his psychological veneer that he could be the best in the world at everything, if only we would be worthy enough to beg for his wisdom, and that makes it our fault he fails at everything he tries. One day in the far future an archive of his blog will be dug up next to TMA Zero and then they’ll recognise his genius and resurrect him to share in the bounteous wonder he ~~ripped off from a variety of hacks~~ foresaw in his visionary brain.
on 22 Jul 2009 at 4:14 pm Joe C

I’ve no idea who this Neil guy is, but the next person to discuss the moon landings in a serious way on here will find themselves as the BNP candidate for Bradford come the election. Yes, I have the money, and I can find all your details from your IP address.
on 22 Jul 2009 at 4:20 pm Twisted Pair

Kennedy called for a Moon landing in 1962 & it happened in 1969 so it is perfectly sensible to ask why it would take twice as long now.

Is that yet another brainstem-rottingly dumb conclusion derived by simplistically extrapolating a single variable by any chance? Like your belief that global warming can’t be happening because it gets colder at night-time or something? Or the assertion that the climate change bill will cause the deaths of more Scottish people than actually exist? Or the belief that DDT must be safe now they’ve started using it again? Or the claim that anyone with an alternative viewpoint must sanction the deliberate killing of 70 million Africans?

Here’s the suitably one-dimensional answer that question deserves: you’re a stupid.
on 22 Jul 2009 at 4:23 pm History Crow

Added: Tuesday, 21 July, 2009, 13:58 GMT 14:58 UK

The Moon landings don’t affect me at all,but i can’t help but admire the American’s endeavour at reaching the Moon.
Also i can’t help but wonder that if it was’nt for our own Politicians ineptitude,incompetance,ignorance & backwardness(usually the socialist’s!),
one of those astronauts may have been British.
We did,after all,have a rocket launch system capable of launching satellite’s into orbit,until it was cancelled by some incredibly naive Labour Minister.

Rod Dublin, Aldershot, United Kingdom

Recommended by 2 people

Vintage HYS! Surely a spoof?
on 22 Jul 2009 at 4:25 pm Neil Craig

“Do not try to debate with The Craig Monster, it’ll suck out your Branes.”

FP – I think we had already established that coherent debate is beyond this site. I assume the Brane sucking occured some years ago.

Ted – the problem is that if you are “not interested in the facts” what makes you think that what you are chortling at is wrong? Who knows – perhaps the people who say the world is round have actually got it.
on 22 Jul 2009 at 4:28 pm Simon

Neil,

Have you read the “About Us” page yet, and had a liitle think?
on 22 Jul 2009 at 4:32 pm Simon

Nelson,

Do we have a Naughty Step where Neil can sit quietly whist reading the “About Us” page, and think about what he’s done.

I think sending him to bed with no dinner is a little harsh.

What do you think, dear?
on 22 Jul 2009 at 4:34 pm Kelvin

Neil,

Have you read the “About Us” page yet, and had a liitle think?

Does he ever have any other kind?
on 22 Jul 2009 at 4:35 pm Theodore

Neil – Don’t call me Ted you sanctimonious git.
Who ever said coherent debate was what this site was about? Didn’t I make that quite clear? Read what I wrote.
This site is here to marvel at opinionated drivel being submitted by the likes of you.
You have utterly proved the point of this site is valid – you have read what I had written and then have ignored the basic premise of it and come out with some unrelated shit of your own invention. I can imagine that the same blinkered, self-serving unintellectual process goes on when you read something and then use it to produce your god-awful self-important blog or contribute to HYS.
To finish, there is no point debating with someone like you because you will never see past your own “genius” to find the truth.
on 22 Jul 2009 at 4:35 pm That Bloke in the Corner

“the problem is that if you are “not interested in the facts” what makes you think that what you are chortling at is wrong?”

Who cares Neil, a chortle is a chortle and makes the day go round-if I want serious debate etc I will come and read your blog, but to be honest taking the piss is more fun and it really does while away the time at the company’s expense to boot.
on 22 Jul 2009 at 4:37 pm Clovis Sangrail

“Coherent debate”?! Coherent flippin’ debate?! If I wanted that I wouldn’t be here. I’M here to have a laugh ta very much Neil. You’re not getting it.
History Crow – Rod Dublin’s mis’use of apos’trophe’s are almos’t too perfect – I call spoof. Nice.
on 22 Jul 2009 at 4:37 pm That Bloke in the Corner

“Don’t call me Ted you sanctimonious git.”

I was wondering who Ted was.
on 22 Jul 2009 at 4:43 pm That Bloke in the Corner

“The Moon landings don’t affect me at all”

If this is spoof, with a statement like that, surely this is Christine Oliver in camouflage.
on 22 Jul 2009 at 4:49 pm Simon

-Clovis

Rod Dublin’s mis’use of apos’trophe’s are almos’t too perfect

Surely “to perfect” ?
on 22 Jul 2009 at 4:49 pm Neil Craig

That somebody can describe what he does as an “intellectual process” when He says he is “not interested in facts” suggests a dissociation from reality.

However I hope Kelvin will start a thread about how silly people who say the world is round are. It would not detract from your enjoyment & increase mine watching you do it.
on 22 Jul 2009 at 4:54 pm Simon

Neil,

Why are you ignoring me ???
Is it ‘coz I iz black?

Neil, write something to cheer up the readers of this blog, and I’ll try (probably fail) to do the same.
Deal ?
on 22 Jul 2009 at 4:56 pm Dr Feelgood

It’s becoming more and more clear to me that we need to practice some proactive eugenics on the flat earthers, moon landing denialists, creationists/intelligent designers, and the rest of the fuckwits.

Let’s fly them to the Moon (thus providing a business case for manned spaceflight while proving the globular nation of the Earth), stuff them out of the airlocks (sans spacesuit to admire the ‘breeze’ ruffling the flag), and revel in the subsequent improvement in mankind as a species.

None of this B-Ark namby-pambyness.

Harsh, but you’ve driven me to this Neil. You hear me? It’ll be all your fault!

And breathe…
on 22 Jul 2009 at 5:03 pm Kelvin

However I hope Kelvin will start a thread about how silly people who say the world is round are. It would not detract from your enjoyment & increase mine watching you do it.

Funny you should mention it, because I put an angry post on my blog demanding the BBC denounce the flat earth theory, and as none of them ever have, I deduce that every single employee of the BBC believes that upon reaching the worldrim, one doth plummet.

Any argument that the BBC doesn’t read the entire internet looking for loony allegations to refute, and that it wouldn’t be in the licence payers’ interest to dedicate airtime to laboriously disagreeing with every hairy-palmed conspiracy theory in existence, will be met with my entirely cogent response of sticking my fingers in my ears and going “LALALALALALALALA.”
on 22 Jul 2009 at 5:09 pm Kelvin

I did once think of phoning up the BBC and asking them to refute it, but then I managed to construct a baroque set of reasoning in my head which meant that doing so would in some way get someone in trouble. Which is lucky, because if that happened it would seriously dent my retreat from reality into this comforting world of delusion where I am right, and being right means I can ignore reason and logic. Phew.
on 22 Jul 2009 at 5:34 pm markie126

Has the moon moved since 1969? Is it taking us time to work out how to get to it’s new location?
on 22 Jul 2009 at 5:45 pm No longer lurking

Ted – the problem is that if you are “not interested in the facts” what makes you think that what you are chortling at is wrong?

I’m sure he meant he’s not interested in *debating* the facts. To be honest I can’t be arsed going back to re-read what he actually said because I’m obviously a BBC-employed hooray henry who is more interested in genocide that facts.

Now cock off, you bison’s ball-bag.
on 22 Jul 2009 at 5:51 pm Prof. Victor Bergman

“Why will it take until 2020 to land on the moon again? If they’ve already done it 40 years ago, why can’t they just go ahead and do it again now?
Dave Blake”

Blown out of orbit in 1999 Dave.
on 22 Jul 2009 at 5:56 pm Bit Special AKA La Spesh

Look, all we need is some fuck-off giant ladders. The Catholic church used to say you could reach the moon with a really long ladder, so if it’s good enough for them, it’s good enough for me. Besides, they’ve never been wrong about anything else.

I’d prefer to go to Button Moon, myself.

@Clovis – I want to know more about your job (not insects, mind – I hate them)! Sounds fab

I want us to ignore The Neil Craig – he is clearly in the category of proper, full-on mental illness not merely a pig-thick loon like our usual fodder and he’s just hijacking everything with his crap. But if we can’t ignore him, can we adopt him as our agony aunt? It’d be like The Onion, where a ‘guest’ agony aunt just goes on and on about their personal obsession, regardless of whatever question is being asked.
on 22 Jul 2009 at 6:07 pm My Foot Hurts.

“I want us to ignore The Neil Craig”

Utterly, totally agree, Bit Special, but Funny Peculiar was spot on when he described him as an itch you can’t help scratching. Or like when you’ve got a tooth abscess and even though it hurts like hell, you can’t help pushing with your tongue to savour the fresh pus that oozes out.

1984RFR was NORMAL by comparison.
on 22 Jul 2009 at 6:41 pm Neil Craig

I am so much more clever than any of you that I have formed my own political party. I am so clever that if I did not spend all of my time trying to pick tiny factual inaccuracies out of thoughtless pisstakes and general banter then my massive intellect would cause the entire Internet to melt down. It’s for your own good. I think one of you may have misplaced an apostrophe or mis-estimated the distance to the moon by a couple of centimetres. My picking up on this has prevented my brain from swelling to the size of a planet from lack of use and destroying the earth with its massive gravitational pull.
on 22 Jul 2009 at 7:07 pm Funny Peculiar

Please, please, please, read the “about us” page. Then think about it. Then, by all means, post something here about HYS loons. Simon.

Gotcha Si… I’ve read it. We are supposed to be moral arbiters of what is posted on HYS coupled with a self-satisfied sanctimonious attitude

Ok. I think I understand the rules and I’m ready to give it a go. C’mon FP, you can do this… *nervous deep breath*

@FP – I think we have already established that coherent debate is beyond this site. – Neil Craig.

Bang on, Bitch – now fuck off!

(How was that? Maybe I should have put a nice big smiley at the end? Should I cite Nelson as the source of ‘bang on bitch’? Oooh it’s all so nuanced, isn’t it?)
on 22 Jul 2009 at 7:12 pm Greebster

I notice that on his excellently presented blog Mr Craig has quoted excerpts of this site. Were Nelson to delete those portions of this site, it would then prove that Mr Craig works for SYB, and by extension, the BBC. Therefore he would be guilty of war crimes, fascism, rape and genocide. Anyone got the Hague’s number?
on 22 Jul 2009 at 7:16 pm Commander Koenig, Moonbase Alpha

Actually we’ve built a fantastic base on the Moon, with a seemingly unlimited supply of Eagle Transporters to get crash and blow up each week. Doing very well for ourselves, thank you.
on 22 Jul 2009 at 7:25 pm Ed aka Kelvin

I posted this on the ongoing death-march on Neily’s “branes” posting. I post it here because I am sure that Neily will censor it, like he censored asking him:
* why someone as brilliant as him is a failure
* if he’s taken an IQ test ever

Here it is:

Nelson said something sarcastically. Neil thought Nelson was serious. Nelson explained it was sarcasm. Neil is still asking Nelson to apologise for it.

Neil is a(nother) poster-child for the Dunning-Kruger effect.
on 22 Jul 2009 at 7:36 pm Funny Peculiar

“Ridicule is the only weapon which can be used against unintelligible propositions.”
Thomas Jefferson 30 July, 1816

Give that fucker an honourary SYB membership.
on 22 Jul 2009 at 7:38 pm ekcol

/lurk

If everyone’s going to keep talking to Neil, can we have the blah filter back on?

lurk
on 22 Jul 2009 at 7:41 pm Mesostim

Still losing his deposit over Sarah Palin then.
on 22 Jul 2009 at 7:44 pm alt-f4

That somebody can describe what he does as an “intellectual process” when He says he is “not interested in facts” suggests a dissociation from reality.

I think you won the debate hands down, but Theodore (Teddy to his friends) used the sly trick of going backwards in time just to make it look like he was taking the piss out of you all along.
on 22 Jul 2009 at 8:08 pm Oaf

BBC people, the Sky at Night – why is it always on so late?

Well duh!…. It has to be dark to look at stars.
on 22 Jul 2009 at 8:14 pm Pirate Pete

Thank god Commander Koenig has injected some sanity into the “debate”. Look, we cannot go the moon full stop, because its not in orbit – these days, the one in the night sky is just a styrofoam model.

And btw I am also a fan of Darkstar – the freakiest sci-fi movie ever. And on the “cost of Star Trek” calculation, it all falls down if you bring First Contact into the equation. It eats “Khaaaaaan!” for breakfast. If I’m right…
on 22 Jul 2009 at 8:16 pm Simon

Bang on, Bitch – now fuck off!
Funny Peculiar

He shoots, he scores. Stop on.

Stop debating with this cock about what he wants.

Neily C: Have you got your massive intelect around what this site is for? It’s not for debate in any way, shape or form. It’s for … Ah fuck it y’all, what’s it for again. Was it something to do with darkies ? No, I remember; now this is just for Neily C (most of the rest of you have seen this). Here’s a clue for you CLUE
on 22 Jul 2009 at 8:23 pm Twisted Pair

Look you lot. I like this site because it’s funny. You take the piss out of stupid people. Recently the site has been blessed by stupid people actually turning up – an indisputable opportunity for interactive discourse a whole order of magnitude funnier. Yet you tell them to go away!!??

Stop it!
on 22 Jul 2009 at 8:43 pm alt-f4

Yet you tell them to go away!!??

And shoot themselves, yes.
on 22 Jul 2009 at 8:45 pm Nelson

I take back everything I said before. I’m happy as a pig in shit arguing with Neil on his site. I think it’s my favourite argument ever.

It’s a bit like kicking a puppy… but I don’t feel too bad about it. It’s an intellectual kicking and Neil’s not really equipped to tell when he’s being kicked.
on 22 Jul 2009 at 8:56 pm Nelson

Slowly but surely this site is becoming what it was designed to take the piss out of.

I’ll blah it all clean again soon. Fresh start.
on 22 Jul 2009 at 9:20 pm Funny Peculiar

Yet you tell them to go away!!??

But it’s like the ‘Don’t push this button’ scenario. The more you tell them to fuck off, the more they stay and argue. Besides which Neil is a proper fully paid up politician with his own rosette and everything. They just can’t resist a good squabble.

Did you know that on his precious website he claims that The British Government gives more money to sponsoring nazi genocide and child rape than to infrastructure development in Scotland! Ha! What a guy! I think he’s just some really alternative comedian warming up his act for The Fringe. Nobody could believe that shit.
on 22 Jul 2009 at 9:22 pm That Bloke in the corner

Not the blah filter, can’t we just all agree that Craigy is a foil hatted loon, accept him for what he is, freely insult his intelligence, but not encourage debate-it is his source of power, his reason for being. The blah filter is annoying, surely we can get some mileage out of the moon loonies
on 22 Jul 2009 at 9:33 pm Dr Feelgood

Oaf – yes exactly… oh never mind…

But, but, but, now I think about it, what if you’re doing radio astronomy, or astronomizing the Sun?

Ah ha!
on 22 Jul 2009 at 9:53 pm Mr Poo

what if you’re doing radio astronomy

Well, duh. You have to wait until everyone’s gone to bed and turned their trannies off, or you’ll never astronomate anything.
on 22 Jul 2009 at 10:10 pm Clovis Sangrail

Don’t ignore Craig yet – give him a few more posts. He’s blimmin’ brill. The wonderful way he just keeps failing to get it. Just wonderful. Happy daze.
@La Spesh – it IS fab, apart from the pay packet and the tropical diseases.
on 22 Jul 2009 at 10:23 pm Twisted Pair

In his blog, Neil sagely points out the flaws in the Copenhagen interpretation:

The multiverse version that if there are an infinite number of parallel universes & it is possible, as the 2 slit experiment suggests, for information at the quantum level to cross over, why haven’t we met ourselves?

The double-slit experiment to which he links is Young’s original – the one you do in school – that shows coherent light shone through two slits forms an interference pattern.

Thomas Young’s interpretation: light is a wave.

Neil Craig’s interpretation: I should have met my counterpart from a parallel universe by now.

What a loon.
on 22 Jul 2009 at 10:29 pm Bit Special AKA La Spesh

@Pirate Pete & all ye other salty seadogs – TYF pointed out to me earlier that ‘The Cormorant’s Clunge’ is an anatomically incorrect name and should actually be called The Cormorant’s Cloaca. I hit him with the wardrobe tidy thingy we’d just bought from IKEA (the excitement never starts!).

@Nelson – please not the blah filter! Anything but that, Massah! Last time you did it, I had the worst flu EVER (I’m half-convinced I was, in fact, Patient 0 of swine flu, it was that bad, even though it was the end of last year) and I had nothing but my laptop and a sick bucket to amuse myself with and my favourite site was fucked. I’ve only just finished with the therapy I had to have to get me over the trauma and loss.

Shame you can’t do something* to blah filter just Neily McC’s comments. Just imagining his reaction brings genuine tears of joy to my eyes. My heart is made of black, black coal.

*Can you? I know nothing of these things. I’m still half-convinced the internet thinks I’m a racist because I accidentally clicked on an innocent-looking link that actually took you to a white supremacist site.

(Pirate Pete – yes, I am recycling my Twitter joke. What of it?)
on 22 Jul 2009 at 10:37 pm Felix Castor

Neils right that NASA isn’t getting back to the moon by 2020 – the budget will inevitably get cancelled.

He’s also not a moon landing hoax conspiracy theorist, and they are the real scumbags here.

Well alright, Neil is a climate change denier and that is pretty fucking stupid, but Jesus it’s a free country, leave him alone already.

Besides, comics are cool and he owns a comic shop and is therefore officially not all bad.
on 22 Jul 2009 at 11:42 pm That Bloke in the corner

@Felix Castor, true Neil has freedom of speaach, and so sadly does Nick Griggin and most of HYS (if not moderated), but comics, have you seen some of that Anime amputee midget porn stuff? I thought I was weird but there is no scale on the weirdometer for that.
on 22 Jul 2009 at 11:43 pm That Bloke in the corner

what is speaach?-cheap shite microshaft keyboard
on 22 Jul 2009 at 11:45 pm That Bloke in the corner

Griggin- see what i mean, makes me look like a complete twatbasket now, going to have to rob a new one from work
on 22 Jul 2009 at 11:53 pm Theodore

Did I get rid of that annoying twat?
on 23 Jul 2009 at 12:06 am Simon

it’s a free country, leave him alone already

Felix: Have you had the pleasure of looking at his blog?

That’s not “pleasure” as one would get from, say, good company or a sense of a job well-done; it’s more like “rubbernecking” at a road accident or the relief from a particularly difficult and hard shite.

I won’t quote anything of his here for fear He-Who-Should-Not-be-Named may actually try to debate in a circular (hence endless) fashion.

Nelson/Alex: Did you notice that Norman Fraser said “Years”. I can believe that.
on 23 Jul 2009 at 12:08 am Simon

Did I get rid of that annoying twat?

Theodore, I certainly hope so. I’ve been trying. Fingers crossed.

Maybe he’s like Candyman: Let’s not metion him/it by name.
on 23 Jul 2009 at 12:09 am Daley Mayle

have you seen some of that Anime amputee midget porn stuff? I thought I was weird but there is no scale on the weirdometer for that

I don’t come here to be judged. I shall take my leave. Gentlemen.. ladies… adieu.

Hmmph.
on 23 Jul 2009 at 12:15 am millie

Bang on, Bitch

Term of endearment, innit?
on 23 Jul 2009 at 12:40 am Pirate Pete

Anatomically incorrect? Anatomically incorrect? I’ll have you know that I’m anatomically incorrect!

And anyway, I wasn’t going to mention this, but you’ve forced me to – the ship’s figurehead is our pastry chef strapped to the prow, covered in feathers with her legs spread – so ‘clunge’ is entirely appropriate in this case…
on 23 Jul 2009 at 12:59 am ratat-tat blakam

Anatomical correctness gone mad
on 23 Jul 2009 at 1:08 am Pirate Pete

ratat-tat blakam, you are David Baddiel – I claim my £5
on 23 Jul 2009 at 1:59 am Ed aka Kelvin

Allied carpet bombing! Hundreds of Iraqi missile sites MUST GO!

Ok, it was topical 18 years ago.
on 23 Jul 2009 at 2:37 am Magician Assisted Suicide

From today’s Metro, on the comments about Psychoville:

The show’s murderous simpleton has the same name as my son, who is now bullied at school as a result. Will the programme makers pay for a therapist? Thought not.

-Sarah Sowerbutts, Lancs

This can’t be real, surely? No-one with a name like Sowerbutts would be this dumb? They’d try and spend all their time studying so that they could find a cure for cancer or something so that no-one could take the mick.
on 23 Jul 2009 at 6:06 am TomTom

Erm… where’s HYS gone?
on 23 Jul 2009 at 7:35 am Felix Castor

@Simon – oh yeah, read the blog. Extremely comprehensive on the “Sarah Palin’s crooked stupidity stimulates me to orgasm” front.
on 23 Jul 2009 at 7:50 am My Foot Hurts.

Please not the blah filter! If people want to go on about him, can’t we just have a separate thread so that we can get back to what we’re really here for?

Personally, I fully intend to leave You Know Who alone now – on his blog he called me (at least I think it was aimed at me) “a hypocritical lying little shit” which, when you think about it, is a bit offensive. I don’t think I’ve lied once*.

As you can imagine, I was in tears all night, and I don’t want to be friends with him any more.

* alright, technically ‘Hurts’ may not be my real surname, but apart from that…
on 23 Jul 2009 at 8:06 am That Bloke in the Corner

There’s a cracking one on HYS at the moment-knifecrimming, all the usual twatbaskets are there with the usual views,

“A vicious flogging with the birch would make them think twice. Also if a life is taken or the intention was to take life then they should forfeit their life, irrespective of age. Don’t waste thousands of pounds on a drawn out trial and luxury in prison, just get rid of them from society, for good. Looking for a hangman? I coulddo that, giz a job.”

Nigel Clark, Lincoln, United Kingdom
on 23 Jul 2009 at 8:08 am framlington

Re: Moon

Ask that nice Count Duckula if we can borrow his castle.

Simples.

Judging by the bloaty nature of the comment count, looks like the site has got a bad attack of the fuckwits. Just stop it all of you.
on 23 Jul 2009 at 8:26 am burnel

I’m skiving today, I blame Thatcher, Neil Craig, and the moon, and the fact that I work for myself and I was a drunk twat last night.
on 23 Jul 2009 at 8:36 am My Foot Hurts.

“If you are caught carrying a knife then there is a very good chance you will use it ergo 5 yrs,no parole no plea just straight to jail. Des Miller”

Gosh, good job I wasn’t stopped on the way back from Sainsbury’s last week. I had six of them! Big ‘uns, some of them, too.

He’s right though, I did use them.
on 23 Jul 2009 at 8:43 am burnel

I am going to be very cautious with my cuttlery today, just in case.
on 23 Jul 2009 at 9:06 am Mesostim

It was on radio HYS (neé 2)yesterday because they had no real news to get knee-jerky about. More forks than knives being sold or something… You’d think they’d be pleased.
on 23 Jul 2009 at 9:09 am alt-f4

Neil Craig’s interpretation: I should have met my counterpart from a parallel universe by now.

Imagine if he did, he’d finally be able to talk to someone who agrees with him.
on 23 Jul 2009 at 9:31 am tegid

Hang on – aren’t parallel universes (universii?) supposed to be similar, but where a different decision was made that altered the course of events.

Like Neil deciding to listen to someone other than himself.

Can we swop our Neil for the alternate Neil?
on 23 Jul 2009 at 9:42 am tegid

Re: the moon

I’ve realised, we’re thinking about this the wrong way round. Why are we trying to go to the moon at all?

What we should do is attach a tow rope, and winch the moon to us! We could put it somewhere deserted – say, the arctic. Would save lots of money in trying to send rockets there, give us a whole load of extra space – AND we’d have possibly the only snowman shaped planet in the universe!

C’mon – who’s with me?

Really? No-one?
on 23 Jul 2009 at 9:48 am Funny Peculiar

The PC idiots demand fair representation of different groups regarding stop and searches, but this reminds me a little of what happened after 9/11. Airports totally gridlocked with security staff searching white grannies for bombs etc, yet Mr. Muslim goes through unchecked due to fears of racism claims.

I’m not racist, but….

Feel_Bad_Factor, Sutton Coldfield – UK

Yeah I remember that too; long long queues of people waiting with their shoes and belts off, having drinks or shampoos or nail clippers confiscated while security waved all the muslims to a ‘fast-track’ lane so they could stroll through unchecked. That’s exactly how it was; smug Pakistanis and Arabs swanning past queueing Brits, pointing at laughing at the semi-naked grannies being frisked and interrogated. Of course the PC media hushed it up.

I’m not racist, but… I am.
on 23 Jul 2009 at 10:03 am naich

I’ve had a couple of goes at reading Neil’s dribblings but the formatting on his site is so fucked up, I just end up getting bored and pissing off somewhere else. Is it worth the effort? Are there any ironic chortles to be had or is it just a load of self-satisfied felching?
on 23 Jul 2009 at 10:08 am alt-f4

What Feel_Bad_Factor fails to appreciate is that the “bad guys” (along with most other people) are smarter than he is.

Drug smugglers have far more experience of evading searching than he has, and reverse-engineering profiling is one of their activities. So if little white haired old ladies, or muslims, or any other sub-set, are outside the profile, these are the ones they’d choose to carry the H.

Also anybody who says “I am not a racist but…” is a racist. And a liar.
on 23 Jul 2009 at 10:26 am Mr Cat

Anyone not interested in baiting/being baited by idiots who and reading/writing off-topic essay might prefer to have a go on BYB until things here have calmed down:

http://blahyourbranes.invisionplus.net/

At least there you can laf at teh sutpids without reading 100 posts by people actively trying to engage/reason/have dull conversations with them.

If you do like baiting/being baited by idiots then you can always engage with BNP loving John Adair, who I believe is still trapped on the message board’s “naughty step”.

I never go there as I think that if I wanted to speak to someone who posted their brane on HYs I’d go to HYS and do it. Perhaps some people here should try that?
on 23 Jul 2009 at 10:45 am That Bloke in the Corner

“I am not a racist but…” is almost always found in the same sentence as “One of my best friends is Black/Coloured/Asian” and is almost invariably said by a Chardonnay swilling middle class middle manager who posts on HYS every day whining on about Gordon Clown and BBC conspiracies -If I am right?
on 23 Jul 2009 at 11:04 am Nelson

Wow, Neil actually DID reject one of my posts. There was nothing exciting in it, just reams of boring stuff showing why he was wrong. Too long and dull to post here.

Ah well. Sorry. It was just too funny watching the hate-filled gnome make a such total fool of himself.
on 23 Jul 2009 at 11:09 am christine oliver

i dont know much about the moon landings because i’ve never been to the moon
on 23 Jul 2009 at 11:29 am Funny Peculiar

Nelson, sometimes, for liberty and justice’s sake, it is the sad duty of their custodians to put ‘liberty and justice’ somewhere safe where they can be protected from their enemies. Neil is a trusted guardian of the precious jewels of liberty, why should he let you run your mucky paws all over them simply for malicious amusement? Freedom of speech is for those who have proved they do not wish to abuse it. Surely it is fair and right to censor extremists such as yourself from disturbing the smooth running of 9% Growth and/or Craig’s Comic Shop.
on 23 Jul 2009 at 12:39 pm Mr Cat

on 23 Jul 2009 at 11:09 am christine oliver

i dont know much about the moon landings because i’ve never been to the moon

More like it…. Much more like it
on 23 Jul 2009 at 12:41 pm That Bloke in the Corner

@Nelson and @Funny Peculiar, you keep mentioning the name that dare not be mentioned. He will gain more power and become unstoppable, save us from this fate and if you must mention him please whisper-he has his fingers in his ears going ‘lalalalala’ to not hear the truth so he won’t hear a whisper.
on 23 Jul 2009 at 12:52 pm Mr Hubble

Why not use my fucking great big telescope to verify if there’s anything on the moon?

Wouldn’t that help clarify things?
on 23 Jul 2009 at 12:58 pm whinegums

[quote]
the police were allowed to arrest a particular demographic group before they were hamstrung by Labour’s PC nonsense. Sit in the public gallery of the Old Bailey if you want to know the reality of knife crime – not the Keith Vaz version.

harry portsmouth
[/quote]

Yeah…I remember the good ol’ days when you could just go ahead and presume that if a crime had been committed, the nearest wog had probably done it. And of course this was easily proven as we all know that crime did not exist before ethnic minorities appeared in GREAT BRITAIN. Ethnic profiling is what made this country GREAT, but now it’s not so much PC Plod can’t protect us because PC Brigade is getting in his way! You couldn’t make it up, etc.

*SYB post cherry pop*

(I’ve soooo messed up this quotebox haven’t I?)
on 23 Jul 2009 at 1:08 pm Neil Craig

Twisted Pair explains the 2 slit experiment cos he dunnit in skool.

To quote Feynman “If you think you understand quantum mechanics, you don’t understand quantum mechanics” which I find more amusing than the witticisms here. I don’t understand it either but at least I know I don’t.

Thank you Felix. I am right about global warming being a scam too but you are clearly capable of looking at reality without hysteria.

It seems I have also been cloned here which is some sort of compliment & am gratified about the vast amount of discussion on whether I should be ignored.
on 23 Jul 2009 at 1:16 pm RadiatorLizard

The show’s murderous simpleton has the same name as my son, who is now bullied at school as a result. Will the programme makers pay for a therapist? Thought not.

-Sarah Sowerbutts, Lancs

Her son should count himself lucky! My surname was cruelly misappropriated by television and film producers, and now I have to fend off daily attacks from bullies who accuse me of:

(1) being a bumbling Chief of Police who requires the help of a costumed psychopath in order to maintain order.

(2) keeping slaves and generally being a bit of a slut during the American Civil War.

(3) attempting to rape Bruce Lee’s sister.

Complete nonsense! Especially (3), as I was clearly only trying to abduct her for my opium and slavery cartel.
on 23 Jul 2009 at 1:21 pm Funny Peculiar

The ‘most voted for’ section of the Knife-crime thread is filled with posts from people who’ve pushed their creative branes to the absolute limit to invent posts which imply, but don’t specifically say “All black people are criminals and all crime is done by them. Vote for the BNP and send the buggers back”.

I’d have gone for , “The statitics don’t take into account that caucasian young people have a very high reflective index when lit by police car headlights, compared to certain other social groups, and so the police are EVEN LESS likely to spot and arrest the hidden, root cause of this problem. I don’t think the main parties are capable of dealing with this issue effectively.”
on 23 Jul 2009 at 1:50 pm Rosie

@ FP

“The statitics don’t take into account that caucasian young people have a very high reflective index when lit by police car headlights, compared to certain other social groups, and so the police are EVEN LESS likely to spot and arrest the hidden, root cause of this problem. I don’t think the main parties are capable of dealing with this issue effectively.”

So what does he/she propose? That all the ‘root causes of this problem’ be made to wear hi-vis jackets?

I see where he’s coming from, though. I am always being mistaken for a roadsign.
on 23 Jul 2009 at 1:53 pm Rotwatcher

The statitics don’t take into account that caucasian young people have a very high reflective index when lit by police car headlights

Yeah, it’s all about the albedo innit. Or do I mean albino. Whatevs.
on 23 Jul 2009 at 1:55 pm Pirate Pete

@ tegid. We really don’t want the Neil from another dimension, in place of the current one.

I’m channeling Stargate Atlantis here, but I think we can safely say that the other Neil will be more intelligent, without visible character flaws and actually quite handsome. That being the case, I say we keep the current one, thanks all the same… that other bloke will be no fun whatsoever.
on 23 Jul 2009 at 2:03 pm Kelvin

I don’t understand it either but at least I know I don’t.

Can someone tell Neil his OpenID account has been hacked by someone with an ounce of self-awareness please?
on 23 Jul 2009 at 2:10 pm Nelson

Wow, Neil actually DID reject one of my posts.

Ah, he’s approved it now. I feel I have to mention that in case he starts frothing.
on 23 Jul 2009 at 2:15 pm That Bloke in the Corner

Is there knife crime on the moon, the dish and the spoon are already there dropped by the cow that jumped over it.
on 23 Jul 2009 at 2:16 pm That Bloke in the Corner

@Nelson-sssshhhhhh he can hear you, he’ll be back and the whole sorry thread will start again.
on 23 Jul 2009 at 2:40 pm My Foot Hurts.

I was going to come up with some moon based Lunar/Loonie/HYS joke but frankly I doubt it would be worth the effort.

@RadiatorLizard

You don’t also play midfield for Spurs, do you?
on 23 Jul 2009 at 3:48 pm Nelson

Neil, just a gentle reminder. You’ve got that post in your moderation queue. The one with the two quotes from you. You know, the ones where you’re really starting to unravel..

“The fact that it is full of [content deleted from the BBC]”

And

“I never claimed full of [content deleted from the BBC]”

Those ones.

Come on. I want to see if one of your eyeballs pops.
on 23 Jul 2009 at 4:30 pm Rosie

@ Nelson – I’m still waiting for him to march into BBC HQ, slap his palm down on the counter and demand to see Lord Nelson. I’ve got a camera posted on reception, just in case.
on 23 Jul 2009 at 4:32 pm Magician Assisted Suicide

Yeah, it’s all about the albedo innit. Or do I mean albino. Whatevs.

Of course, if all the flithy forrins in this country were honest hard-working WHITE folk, the increased albedo would mean global warming could be reversed, if it existed. It’s like painting the roofs white. If I’m right.
on 23 Jul 2009 at 7:19 pm Admiral Grovworth, III

can we have the blah filter back on?

ekcol

If you like the blah filter so much, why don’t you go live there?

Now, about this party on the Cormorant’s Clunge. I am afraid I cannot attend. Being as I am an admiral of the Royal Navy, if I was caught at a seafaring gayparty on a pirate ship the Queen would give me head on a spike.
on 23 Jul 2009 at 7:52 pm Pirate Pete

Admiral, we won’t tell anyone – we can be very discreet when we’re offshore. As long as you bring along a few cases of rum of course, and a few of the ratings from your engine room – unwashed please…
on 23 Jul 2009 at 10:15 pm Bit Special AKA Cap'n La Spesh

Surely I’m not the only one thinking FNARR! about a Queen giving him head?

That’s really shivered me timbers!

(I’ll get me coat)
on 23 Jul 2009 at 10:31 pm Twisted Pair

To quote Feynman “If you think you understand quantum mechanics, you don’t understand quantum mechanics” which I find more amusing than the witticisms here. I don’t understand it either but at least I know I don’t.

Yes Neil. I know everything about quantum mechanics because that’s the one I didn’t do at school. Those knee-jerk assumptions explain why you will always be shite at science.

Now, please, go and sit in a quiet corner and read your comics like a good boy while the grown-ups try to figure out why it’s so fucking cold in July.
on 24 Jul 2009 at 11:49 am Neil Craig

Let me know when the grown-ups have told you & we can see if the answer differs from mine.
on 24 Jul 2009 at 12:41 pm Buzz Aldrin

And you wonder why I became an alcoholic?
on 24 Jul 2009 at 5:25 pm Lurker - really needs to think of a better name now he is no longer lurking

Interesting that he-who-shall-remain-nameless is having a good old rant (albeit poorly worded and barely coherent) about this site on his blog, effectively lagging us off with the following opener…

This, lifted from Wikipedia seemed appropriate considering the Speak your Branes site seems like politically correct herd instinct after a lobotomy. Indeed it has been fairly said on there that the whole point is to make fun of different ideas without having to discuss the facts at all & that I am a bit of a spoilsport by mentioning them.

Why, then, is he still hanging around and attempting to get involved in the “Rage In Favour Of The Machine” thread? Doesn’t he get it yet, despite having had to type out the whole idea? Good heavens, whatever next? Some kind of trolling badger’s bollock trying to get a rise out of someone he doesn’t like* on the internet?

*doesn’t like / is jealous of for having a bit of fun – delete as appropriate.
on 24 Jul 2009 at 10:08 pm Admiral Grovworth, III

he-who-shall-remain-nameless

Christ. See that, Craigy? You’ve reached Lord fucking Voldemort status.
on 24 Jul 2009 at 10:29 pm Throbbe

I for one look forward to the publication of ‘Harry Potter and the Dillusional Spacktard’.
on 24 Jul 2009 at 10:56 pm Lurker - really needs to think of a better name now he is no longer lurking

I for one look forward to the publication of ‘Harry Potter and the Dillusional Spacktard’.

Neil Snape : Listen Harry, you aren’t a wizard because the BBC have not officially denied that you aren’t, and therefore my superior intellect shows without doubt that the LibDems like to spank each other with leather wands.
Harry : But Professor Snape – I don’t…
Niel Snape : Ha! That proves it.
Hermione : (mumbles) what a wanksplat!

etc.
on 25 Jul 2009 at 12:06 pm Neil Craig

Apparently there are some people who think I have been slightly rude about some of the mimdless idiots on here. In my defence I point to the above.
on 25 Jul 2009 at 3:11 pm Lurker - is considering becoming "sqrt(-1)" but knows it's a bit geeky

No, Neil, nobody thinks you have been slightly rude. Lots of people think you been a… Oh fuck it. I can’t be arsed with you. It’d just be a waste of finger movement to attempt to point out your many failings. You won’t take any notice anyway.

While I don’t wish you any harm personally, I do wish you’d just fuck off until you learn a bit more about real life.
on 25 Jul 2009 at 3:30 pm Ed aka Kelvin

We know that Neil is a failure at business, and politics, and web publishing, and thinking, and basic manners, and rational discussion. What I wonder is: even though he’s certainly on the plus side of 50, do all of the previous points mean he’s actually a virgin?*

* That prostitute who turned out to be a ladyboy doesn’t count
on 25 Jul 2009 at 5:06 pm Lurker - is considering becoming "sqrt(-1)" but knows it's a bit geeky

I’d like to issue an apology to all regular SYBers for focussing on this one issue. I’m trying to stop myself (in fact, I’ve just reconfigured my router to block access to the other site, just in case my resolve weakens)

I will try to get myself back on track by hurling abuse at other borderline mentalers, as soon as Nelson puts up some new content.
on 25 Jul 2009 at 7:21 pm alt-f4

Apparently there are some people who think I have been slightly rude about some of the mimdless idiots on here.

Have you actually read the “About” page yet?

Being “slightly” rude to some of the mindless idiots on here doesn’t really cut it. You have to be VERY rude to ALL the mindless idiots on here. And there’s no shortage of them. I could name two recent examples of the class-A loon variety. But you already know one of them.
on 25 Jul 2009 at 9:21 pm Ed aka Kelvin

I could name two recent examples of the class-A loon variety. But you already know one of them.

Is that in the biblical sense?

Actually, see my question at 3:30pm…
on 27 Jul 2009 at 3:58 pm Dolly

Yeah, fuck’s sake, it’s not rocket science.

Well that’s just silly, Mr Nelson! I know plenty of young scientists who’d jolly well say it IS rocket science! You need the rocket to make the spacemen go to the moon. There, your silly joke doesn’t look quite so funny now, does it?

Has anyone seen my specs please?
on 05 Aug 2009 at 1:22 pm Anon

This is a paragraph.

This is another paragraph.

"If you love The Environment so much..
why don't you go live there?"

165 Responses to “Dave, Scientist”

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spEak You're bRanes

"If you love The Environment so much.. why don't you go live there?"

165 Responses to “Dave, Scientist”

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"If you love The Environment so much..
why don't you go live there?"