Curtain Twitchers and Outsiders and Plain Weird and Unfocused Rage10 Aug 2009 09:02 am
By Alex

Thanks to Robyn for this comment on the NHS website. I have to say this commenter is a cut above the average HYSer in terms of intelligence. Not because her post is any more rational, coherent or even readable, quite the opposite in fact, but because instead of hammering out her detailed instructions to Gordon Brown on the BBC or Times messageboards, she has actually found the time to type them into the website of a genuine arm of government and, better still, the one actually concerned with the particular thing she’s terrified of. All power to her I say.

‘debsmk’:
What is the government doing not quick enough for god sake this is serious we need the injections now and every 1 should have it regardless of age it should be given to all straight away this should have been tested years ago why is every one letting them get away with this maybe its who eerv is in space wiping us all out that will teach people who eat animals looks like its pay back time life for a life maybe don’t know action needs to be now injections need to work and it needs to be given next week to all . Come on stop people entering this country now and shut schools for 5 months and keep kids in not allowing them to spread it to every one else stop flights the french have right idea oh wyes but they havent got it have they

Too bloody right a life for a life. That must be what’s happening. You barbaric carnivores have brought swine flu upon us as karmic punishment for your cruel pork-guzzling ways. Hopefully crisis can be abated if we bite the (lettuce) bullet and let the slaughter of innocent animals stop at twenty-nine. Oh and stop immigration. That always helps, whatever the issue.

86 Responses to “Who Eerv is in Space”

  1. on 10 Aug 2009 at 9:22 am Felix Castor

    Why aren’t we sending the Imperial British Star Fleet after these alien batards who attacked us with swine flu?

    Fucking leftist government.

  2. on 10 Aug 2009 at 9:27 am David

    Just when I thought debsmk was going to get through the whole post without a single punctuation mark, up came the random full stop – which was as much use in that piss-stream of semi-consciousness as a pair of water wings in a tsunami.

  3. on 10 Aug 2009 at 9:29 am eerv in space

    Thanks for the plug, Debs.

  4. on 10 Aug 2009 at 9:46 am Shinybiscuit

    homigod.

    I am so scared by this clear indication that Swine Flu is creating a hugely irrational and grammar-free race of really fucking angry killer morality zombies, I’m bolting my door shut now and awaiting the inevitable apocalypse of all good reason and common sense.

  5. on 10 Aug 2009 at 9:51 am Oaf

    And just one full stop in the middle!

  6. on 10 Aug 2009 at 9:51 am Oaf

    Oh yes. What David said.

  7. on 10 Aug 2009 at 10:00 am offensive_mango

    Wow, add in some eccentric spacing and what you’ve got there is an e.e. cummings poem.

  8. on 10 Aug 2009 at 10:09 am offensive_mango

    In fact, I’ve added it to Found Poetry (http://community.livejournal.com/found_poetry/)

  9. on 10 Aug 2009 at 10:13 am funny peculiar

    maybe its who eerv is in space wiping us all out that will teach people who eat animals looks like its pay back time

    Genocidal vegetarian alien invaders!!! Yipes! Someone tell Picard we’re being invaded by Vegans!

  10. on 10 Aug 2009 at 10:27 am My Foot Hurts.

    this should have been tested years ago

    She’s right, dammit. Why the hell did they wait until the disease existed before testing the treatment? Are they stupid?

    Typical leftist government – no precognisance whatsoever.

  11. on 10 Aug 2009 at 10:28 am TheViolentMajority

    If m’lady has posted this on the NHS website, there’s a strong possibility she’s an actual healthcare professional. Jesus.

    Do you think she talks like this too?

  12. on 10 Aug 2009 at 10:54 am Noely Noel

    That’s what you get for giving people in Milton Keynes access to the internet.

  13. on 10 Aug 2009 at 10:57 am Herm

    Genocidal vegetarian alien invaders!!! Yipes! Someone tell Picard we’re being invaded by Vegans!

    That’s not the worst of it — I heard one threatening to read us its poetry!!!

  14. on 10 Aug 2009 at 11:46 am davemk

    Jesus H Motherluvin’ Christ – will someone please get this freak out of my town?!!?

  15. on 10 Aug 2009 at 12:31 pm Call of Davrodu

    Yeah, why wasnt a vaccine created and tested for an at the time non-existant virus all those years ago?

    Immigration. Thats why. Or space people, I forget. Same thing.

    Solution? Tyre Iron.

    Do one.

  16. on 10 Aug 2009 at 12:39 pm Goldstein

    maybe don’t know

    Best bit.

  17. on 10 Aug 2009 at 12:54 pm Yossarian

    Absolutley mind boggling, geniusness!

    B+ to debsmk for the best SYB comment in months. Just one point lost for not mentioning Gays.

    If I’m rite!

  18. on 10 Aug 2009 at 1:04 pm Clovis Sangrail

    Go debsmk! can I second Yossarian best comment for ages oh wyes I like debs and her space vegetarian monkey flu conspiracies if I followed properly and I also want toknow what the gubmint is doing about it also I want to know what kind of drugs she uses to make her thinkthisfastwritethisfastandpostwithoutcheckingGODEBS!!!!!1!

  19. on 10 Aug 2009 at 1:20 pm Chris

    Think that rapid-fire collection of syllables is bad? Imagine it being shouted at you, angrily, with the same respect for punctuation.

    You now have the reason GPs are paid so much.

  20. on 10 Aug 2009 at 1:46 pm Ugly Newt

    Do you think she talks like this too?

    Hopefully, the rant tails off when she runs out of breath, or the audience looks like it’s not taking her seriously.

    That’s why the HYS submission form needs some automatic feedback, in the shape of a small animated face. It starts off with an attentive expression, but after a while of frantically unpunctuated keyboard-mashing, the eyes glaze over, it yawns, and eventually goes to sleep and drops off the bottom of the screen.

    I started working on this, but I’m not sure about my javascript. Can I post it here and have you lot correct it?

  21. on 10 Aug 2009 at 1:54 pm Received Opinion

    More like this please. This particular burst of mental is worth a million rants about the boring old leftist conspiracy that we’re all part of.

  22. on 10 Aug 2009 at 1:58 pm TheViolentMajority

    It was already pretty fricking awesome before she put a “keep the forrins out” cherry on top.

    First class.

  23. on 10 Aug 2009 at 2:00 pm funny peculiar

    HYS thread asks, “Is the British government colluding in torture?”

    and the top answer is…

    people need to stop crying over the human rights of those who ignore the human rights of innocents and blow themselves up on trains and fly planes into buildings. these people do not play by the rule book of the civilised world. so if the western civilised world wishes to win the war on terror then we have to throw away our own rule book and throw our compassion out the window because these peole do not deserve our compassion.”
    Zak Kettle

    Recommended by 328 people

    And the entire thread is packed out with posts that boil down to, “We are the 100% good guys. If we need to torture 100% bad guys to get the job done, do it.”

    God, I wish I lived in their world full of easy answers. It must be so refreshing to be a fucking moron.

  24. on 10 Aug 2009 at 2:14 pm Fucking moron

    Why yes, yes it is thanks.

  25. on 10 Aug 2009 at 2:15 pm Paranoid Mandroid

    You could say that with that staggering level of hypocrisy, Zak Kettle is calling the pot black…

    It’s ok, I’ve already got my coat…

  26. on 10 Aug 2009 at 2:39 pm alt-f4

    Zak should be tortured.

    First, it should be claimed that he has knowledge of the whereabouts of a “ticking bomb”. He can be beaten for several days for not telling us where the bomb is, until enough time has passed to make it obvious even to debsmk that there never was any ticking fucking bomb.

    Second, we can start beating confessions out of him. Swine flu, Iraqi MDW, The Great Fire of London, AIDS. He can be made to confess to all of them, until it becomes so obvious that he wasn’t the culprit that even debsml will begrudingly protest his innocence.

    Third, we torture the fucking shit out of him in the most horrible and painful ways imaginable simply because he’s a cunt and we enjoy it.

  27. on 10 Aug 2009 at 2:52 pm goblin

    oh wyes?

  28. on 10 Aug 2009 at 4:09 pm John Adair

    Having spent more than half of my 28 years in the military working in Intelligence, the answer is a resounding yes. How do you think a huge number of terrorist atrocities were averted? The Government was mainly unaware of what was going on. Would you tell one of our Politicians?!!!!! Politicians are little boys playing in a man’s world!!

    This type of activity will not stop, regardless of what laws and measures are put in place.

    Safety and liberty costs!!!

    [laughingChrisCS], United Kingdom

    Recommended by 240 people

    What he is saying is, it’s OK to use torture as long as you are one of the good guys.
    Terrorist’s must not use torture.

    End Of Simple.

  29. on 10 Aug 2009 at 4:14 pm I Marxed Karl

    Error: There’s no end to the Simple.

  30. on 10 Aug 2009 at 4:34 pm funny peculiar

    …half of my 28 years in the military working in Intelligence… How do you think a huge number of terrorist atrocities were averted? The Government was mainly unaware of what was going on.
    Laughing ChrisCS

    Laughing ChrisCS likes to stroke his cock and pretend he’s Jack Nicholson from A Few Good Men; a ruthless, blunt, alpha male providing the blanket of security under which we all sleep, ignorant and safe, while he ignores our soft, civilised rules and does what must be done.

    But someone should tell Chris that he’s coming across more like Mike from Spaced than Colonel ‘Mad Jack’ Jessop from Gitmo Bay.

    P.S. Paintball doesn’t count, Chris. And you shouldn’t call your job ‘military intelligence’ when you work in Sainsbury’s HR admin.

    P.P.S. People who are really in Military Intelligence generally don’t tell the BBC that they torture people without telling the government. Cos, you see, it’s a seeeeecret. Shhhhh Chris. Secret, yeah? Very hush hush, need to know and all that.

  31. on 10 Aug 2009 at 4:41 pm History Crow

    Chris demonstrates how a careless lack of punctuation can give the impression that he claims to have worked in the military since he was 14. Which makes him look an even bigger twat.

  32. on 10 Aug 2009 at 4:48 pm miguel

    I reckon it’s a rap.

  33. on 10 Aug 2009 at 4:55 pm Joe

    It’s oh wyes the same. Zak Kettle’s right – there’s nothing wrong with torturing people who’ve blown themselves up on trains or flown planes into buildings. It’s just hard to do.

  34. on 10 Aug 2009 at 5:15 pm Bit Special AKA La Spesh

    I was going to make the same comment as History Crow. He stoleded it from mah brane.

    BTW, Debs seems like a woman who is a paranoid, ill-informed, semi-literate mental with too much time on her hands. Does she have a phone number we can pass onto a certain Scottish gentleman (I use the term as loosely as possible) of similar character… ?

  35. on 10 Aug 2009 at 5:40 pm Clovis Sangrail

    Miguel is right: if you read it out loud like a rap it sounds great – you do have to stand up and throw a few gang signs while busting moves though. This is REMARKABLY satisfying and can make you giggle immoderately to oneself. Until you realise that, yes, there are still people in the back office and they have just watched and listened to you open-mouthed in a mix of horror, astonishment and embarrassment. Flippin’ BLINK…

  36. on 10 Aug 2009 at 5:40 pm radiatorlizard

    @ Mme La Spesh

    Of course, Nelson can get hold of her phone number – he has access to the personal details of everyone using the internet and indeed the mobile phone numbers of their spouses.

    It would be a wonderful thing if the two of them got together though. Although I’m not sure whether it would mellow their respective lunancies or create an unholy folie à deux.

  37. on 10 Aug 2009 at 5:43 pm jos

    Reading the HYS thread scared the shit out of me.

    “Torturing is an art.”

    Andre, Miami

  38. on 10 Aug 2009 at 5:55 pm Theodore

    I wonder what Catherine Oliver would have to say about all this.

  39. on 10 Aug 2009 at 6:28 pm funny peculiar

    “Torturing is an art.”
    Andre, Miami

    He’s got a point. A few months ago my wife dragged me to watch the Bolshy Ballet do Swan Lake. A five hour re-enactment of a dumb fairy story, told through the medium of hopping, skipping and jumping about in tights.

    It was unremitting, fucking agony.

    The panicked desperation on the faces of grown men in the bar at the interval as they threw back double scotches will haunt me to my grave. I suggest the CIA incorporate classical ballet into their range of ‘advanced interview techniques’.

  40. on 10 Aug 2009 at 6:34 pm Bit Special AKA La Spesh

    @Radiator Lizard – good point. And if we get them together it will be great kudos for the dating company Nelson is always sending out adverts for…

  41. on 10 Aug 2009 at 6:38 pm alt-f4

    Reading the HYS thread scared the shit out of me.

    It occured to me that making suspects read HYS might be an effective torture in itself. Giving it further thought I realised that such an endeavour would be more likely to elavate them from mere suspected terrorists into well motivated actual terrorists with good reason to kill as many HYS contributors as possible in the shortest amount of time.

    The HYS community need not fear though. As Nearly can testify, the only thing it’s possible to suicide-bomb online is one’s own credibility.

  42. on 10 Aug 2009 at 6:59 pm Simon

    … Bolshy Ballet do Swan Lake. A five hour re-enactment of a dumb fairy story, told through the medium of hopping, skipping and jumping about in tights.
    It was unremitting, fucking agony.

    This kind of thing always reminds me of what Alan Davies (I think) said of Le Cirque De So Lame:
    “It’s not just crap, but crap that’s really hard to do”

    Can be applied to so many things.

  43. on 10 Aug 2009 at 7:20 pm Loop

    Chris demonstrates how a careless lack of punctuation can give the impression that he claims to have worked in the military since he was 14. Which makes him look an even bigger twat.

    Let’s look again;

    “Having spent more than half of my 28 years in the military working in Intelligence…”

    Now with aids, this is what you see;

    “Having spent (more than half of my 28 years) (in the military working in Intelligence)…”

    This is how it should be;

    “Having spent (more than half) of my (28 years in the military) working in Intelligence…”

    If I’m right.

  44. on 10 Aug 2009 at 7:25 pm Smiley's Peehole

    @History Crow

    Yes, but I think he means the first half of his twenty eight years. He dishonourably discharged himself on reaching puberty.

  45. on 10 Aug 2009 at 7:44 pm That Bloke in the corner

    Why do most of the fucktards on HYS claim to have spent most of their lives in the ‘Military’, do they want a medal or something?

  46. on 10 Aug 2009 at 8:24 pm Bit Special AKA La Spesh

    @Loop – it’s rather childish to suggest Chris has AIDS…

  47. on 10 Aug 2009 at 8:41 pm ligne

    Nelson can get hold of her phone number – he has access to the personal details of everyone using the internet and indeed the mobile phone numbers of their spouses.

    he can?

    hey, Nelson. i need to be at work early tomorrow. can you give me a wake-up call? 7am would be great.

  48. on 10 Aug 2009 at 8:47 pm ligne

    Zak should be tortured.

    [blah blah liberal bullshit about "reasons" and "excuses"]

    Third, we torture the fucking shit out of him in the most horrible and painful ways imaginable simply because he’s a cunt and we enjoy it.

    can’t we just skip straight to step 3? if we need to make up stupid scenarios before we can blowtorch noses off, the terrorists have already won.

  49. on 10 Aug 2009 at 9:13 pm Mim

    Debs has at least managed marginally less hate than the usual “vaccination for me, my mum and people of my precise skin tone” approach.

    If you add punctuation she isn’t even particularly mad, which is why I’m glad she was good enough to favour the stream-of-ill-informed-consciousness approach. Unless that’s actually a panic attack in written form in which case I feel a bit unkind and think she should maybe do that breathing-through-a-paper-bag unpanicking thing and have a nice cup of tea.

    At what point in the bodies-piled-in-the-streets collapse of society does looting become socially acceptable, incidentally? Our Wii got stolen and I want a new one.

  50. on 10 Aug 2009 at 9:16 pm Loop

    At what point in the bodies-piled-in-the-streets collapse of society does looting become socially acceptable, incidentally? Our Wii got stolen and I want a new one.

    Well I watched Cloverfield the other night, so… seventeen minutes in, I think.

  51. on 10 Aug 2009 at 9:59 pm christine oliver

    theodore i dont know what catherine oliver would think because i am christine oliver

  52. on 10 Aug 2009 at 10:09 pm Loop

    No you’re not.

    … oh go on then, prove it!

  53. on 10 Aug 2009 at 10:12 pm fucko the clown

    i blame that cunt on the t-mobile advert singing total eclipse of the heart into his phone at trafalgar square. The only person who wouldn’t have hung up on the cunt is eerv in space.

  54. on 10 Aug 2009 at 10:44 pm eerv in space

    Wotchoo on abaaht, Fucko? Even in space we know that guy is an abject cunt? You and he should get together and DO ONE!!11!

  55. on 10 Aug 2009 at 10:46 pm eerv in space

    Moonfuck! That shouldn’t have been a question mark after the word cunt. I blame that Jupiter. Fat bastard.

  56. on 10 Aug 2009 at 11:14 pm *burp*

    ‘debsmk’

    Is the poor girl speaking in tongues?

  57. on 11 Aug 2009 at 1:36 am funny peculiar

    On HYS there’s a major twatbasket called Adrian Mugridge. A shrill commander of an army of sock pupppets, who pumps his predictable NuLiarBore vomit to the top of threads with tragic regularity. He has serious form and has featured on SYB many times (prob’ly).

    The BBC recently had a touchy-feel-good thread called, “Are You Making The Most Of Life?” Aww… bless. It was a festival of smaltz and HYS ‘wit’. In this short post, Adrian fails to rage about Gordon even once, but one glorious typo accidently transforms his plagarised homily into a thing of beauty.

    So, Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Adrian’s creed for full living…

    *house lights down*
    *stage curtains open*

    Try everything in life once; expect incest and Morris dancing!

    Adrian Mugridge, Chester, United Kingdom

  58. on 11 Aug 2009 at 1:49 am Mim

    fp, that was beautiful. It could only be improved if his fellow HYS denizens notice that he has just confessed to paedophilia.

  59. on 11 Aug 2009 at 3:48 am Chris

    I like this one from Aidsridden.

    What are your worst Christmas presents?

    For the last two years now no one in my family have sent each other presents. What’s the point ? Adults tend to buy presents for other adults that cost maybe £20-£30 and if I actually want something for that amount of money I’ll just go and buy it, I don’t need to wait until Christmas for it. Also, I went into a large department store recently where they had mountains of cr*p for adults to buy for each other. Do people buy this rubbish ? I suppose the answer must be yes, but I’ve no idea why.

    Wow, what a tremendous cunt. Everyone in Adrian’s family stopped buying presents because every time you expressed any kind of emotion in the form of a gift, he immediately belittled you for buying him a fucking present. Adrian appears to be one of those people who tragically forces his spunkbubblish opinion on his immediate surroundings, and fuck anyone else’s feelings.

    Mrs. Chris just bought me, for my birthday, a $20 DVD of Dylan Moran. I know it was $20 because she accidentally left the price sticker on. What a huge Adrian I would have been if I’d have instantly gone on the internet and bitched about being able to buy it myself, and that presents are all pointless and shit.

    Adrian’s little rant about everything being shit would have been all well and good, if I hadn’t accidentally Googled his name and found out he’s a fat cunt working in IT with a sports car fetish. Who’s given his cat a fucking email address.

    I suppose it’s alright if you’re spending the money on good things, like pies, knob polish and feline anal lube.

  60. on 11 Aug 2009 at 4:34 am Jane

    I dunno, but that comment dates from at least 2006.
    http://www.newssniffer.co.uk/bbc/threads/show/5060

  61. on 11 Aug 2009 at 4:42 am Jane

    and there’s this:

    http://ifyoulikeitsomuchwhydontyougolivethere.com/2009/07/16/massive-rhys/

    “#
    on 16 Jul 2009 at 12:06 pm Funny Peculiar

    BBC thread. How important is space exploration?…

    Over the last 40 years, technology has increased beyond belief (just look at a 40 year old computer, your mobile is thousands of times more powerful ), and yet we have never been back to the moon. Just what is man playing at? Adrian Mugridge, Chester, United Kingdom

    here HYS addict Adrian Mugridge (a twat of such vast proportions that I want to reach down the internet and strangle him) goes beyond the normal ranting at politicians and immigrants and exclaims “Pull your socks up, mankind, for god’s sake.”

    Just what is man playing at? Just WHAT is man playing at? Tchah!”

  62. on 11 Aug 2009 at 4:53 am Chris

    I dunno, but that comment dates from at least 2006.

    Yes, this is long term fucknuggetry, not just a minor aberration on the mingemeter.

    Time, like an ever-rolling stream, bears all its sons away, but spunk stains stick around for a good while.

  63. on 11 Aug 2009 at 5:20 am Jane

    But did he regurgitate it again after lo these many years? Or has he been agitating about it for that long, gently simmering over the thought?

    Anyone have a link to the quote itself?

    Anyway, he’s not the only one who has wondered, at least in passing, how we can have computers a million times more powerful and much tinier, and still not have gotten back to the moon. I even queried my beloved about such, in passing, one evening. He gently sat me down, took my hands in his, and explained in the smallest, simplest words possible: ” Rocket fuel .” To which I cogently replied “oh”.

    Also “duh”.

    And then I vaguely recalled such things as two wars, the collapse of hundreds of banks, the dot com and real estate bubbles popping, a depression/recession, the aging of the populace, outsourcing, and that my eye was twitching, and he gathered me into his arms and assured me I need not worry my pretty little head about such things.

    But I’ve heard that those things might have something to do with why we haven’t gone to the moon again. It’s all a little fuzzy. I’m awfully sleepy all of a sudden.

  64. on 11 Aug 2009 at 6:27 am Chris

    Rocket fuel? What?

    Fuck’s sake. We’re not sending men to the moon because we don’t need to. No political or scientific motivation. Not a priority. Other things to do with the money.

  65. on 11 Aug 2009 at 7:39 am one of the eds

    So Jane, you’re saying that your beloved says we haven’t been back to the moon… because there’s no more rocket fuel? Right, that explains it.

    And Mim,

    If you add punctuation she isn’t even particularly mad

    This is my best shot -

    Why is every one letting them get away with this? Maybe its whoever is in space, wiping us all out. That will teach people who eat animals. Looks like it’s payback time; life for a life

    Not particularly mad? Admittedly, I might not be the best punctuation-adder in the world, but who is this person in space? Is it God? Crew on the international space station thingy? The Alien-lizard overlords?

  66. on 11 Aug 2009 at 7:50 am Jane

    Oh come on, work with me here, it was supposed to be amusing.

    I’m pretty sure I mentioned a bunch of the “other things” that are occurring. Heck, we aren’t on the moon, because Mars is better, ok?

    Internet is serious business.

  67. on 11 Aug 2009 at 7:54 am Jane

    No, not because there’s no more rocket fuel, but because it’s so expensive in these times when gas is around $4 gallon.

    IT WAS A JOKE. As in, my “sweetie” gave me a simple explanation to soothe my simple mind.

    Damn, I thought you all could figure that out. I made it plain enough, with the “pretty little mind” thing and all.

  68. on 11 Aug 2009 at 8:00 am That Bloke in the corner

    @one of the eds, Surely we all know that the great evil space overlords who are slowly wiping out mankind with horrible diseases are the Clangers, sitting up there under their dustbin lids commanding the Soup Dragon to spew flu ridded soup into our atmosphere-anyfule kno’-if I am right.

  69. on 11 Aug 2009 at 8:03 am That Bloke in the corner

    @Jane-it was a joke? shit,and there was me just starting to produce some in my shed to help mankind out. Back to the Homebrew then.

  70. on 11 Aug 2009 at 8:08 am That Bloke in the corner

    ‘If you add punctuation she isn’t even particularly mad’

    Oh come on, she is a mental as a bag of demented badgers. She may have posted it on the NHS website, but I am sure she was just trying to jump the cue to see the loony doc-probably a bloody sponging immigrant just trying to get free psychiatric care cos they don’t have real loony docs in the bongo bongo land she came from.

  71. on 11 Aug 2009 at 8:10 am one of the eds

    Damn, mis’sed a couple of apostrophe’s.

  72. on 11 Aug 2009 at 8:39 am one of the eds

    @ That Bloke ITC

    I was always under the impression that the balance of power on the Clangers’ home planet was in the Soup Dragon’s favour. I mean, he had all the soup. And he was a dragon. They were made out of wool or something, right? Well, there you go then. Flammable.

    To be fair though, I’m a bit out of my depth, having only been born in 1984. I used to watch such quality childhood TV as Stoppit and Tidyup. Narated by Terry Wogan, no less.

  73. on 11 Aug 2009 at 8:56 am That Bloke in the corner

    @one of the eds, quite correct, very flammable-hence the dustbin lids for protection. They were the real masters as they collected all the space junk so the dragon could make soup.
    Vaguely recall Stoppit and Tidy up, but then it was ‘O’ Level time and I would have been dutifully revising-well that’s what I told my mum.

  74. on 11 Aug 2009 at 10:02 am Jane

    @That Bloke in the corner

    Hold on now, you’re making some homebrew in your shed? I have some Grolsch bottles here…. most of them are even empty. I think we could do business together. Might have to help me empty the rest of these bottles, though.

  75. on 11 Aug 2009 at 10:15 am Bit Special AKA La Spesh

    @Jane – this contains all the info you need:
    http://www.amazon.co.uk/Destination-Moon-Adventures-Tintin-Herge/dp/1405206276/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1249981784&sr=8-1

    @one of the eds – just take it from us old-timers: The Clangers are a powerful alien force to be reckoned with. And rumours that I own a cuddly toy version of one are almost entirely unfounded.

    PS 1984? And you’re an ED? 1984 REALLY IS returning FOR REAL – a zanuliebore plot if ever I saw one!

    If I’m right.

  76. on 11 Aug 2009 at 12:22 pm Ed aka Nearly Craig

    Tintin returns for real!

  77. on 11 Aug 2009 at 12:34 pm om

    seems zak kettle is only ikkle

    found one on the internet, and he’s in year 9 or 10, bless

    http://209.85.229.132/search?q=cache%3ADr50C39AqcYJ%3Awww.lindisfarne.school.nz%2FAttachments%2F134_349771258.pdf+Zak+Kettle&hl=en&gl=uk

    still, torture the cunt anyway

  78. on 11 Aug 2009 at 2:55 pm Chris

    I don’t think that’s the same Zak Kettle. I mean, that’s a kid in New Zealand. Besides, look at this from HYS:

    yes life has changed but very little. now that people are paying in foreign currency the shelves are full again and there is food to eat. but it is the fact that people have to use foreign currency to buy things that signals little has changed. mugabe is still in power and Morgan for all his speeches has done nothing. yes things have changed but until people are using zim currency again, mgabe is gone and the farmers can farm again only then will things have truly changed for the better in zim.

    See? He’s in Zimbabwe. He has to be. That’s the only way he could be such an expert on what it’s like to live there.

  79. on 11 Aug 2009 at 3:17 pm Rotwatcher

    The Saturn V rockets used liquid oxygen and liquid hydrogen; gas, not gasolene.

  80. on 11 Aug 2009 at 3:27 pm om

    oh rite !!1! so it’s one law for them and one for everyone else ??!!

    you saying we should torture anyone callerd Osama Bin Larden and just cos Zaq Kettle has a good brittish name he doesn’t get the same perks. FACT !

  81. on 11 Aug 2009 at 4:20 pm Mim

    A minor belief in the reality of Clangers is as nothing considering that lots of people who believe in a magic beardy man in the sky are allowed to wander among us unhindered. At least Clangers are cute. Anyone trying to get psychiatric treatment out of the NHS would have to do a lot better than that.

    Ms Special, people keep buying me various sizes and types of Clangers and I don’t help the situation by knitting them and then getting too shy to post them to their intended recipients. My house looks like the invasion force has landed. Thus I believe one Clanger to be a reasonable and indeed frugal number.

    Relax, I’m on a waiting list for the psychotherapy I so clearly need.

  82. on 12 Aug 2009 at 1:27 am Bit Special AKA La Spesh

    Thanks Mim. Is the talking Bagpuss pushing it, though? By ‘talking’, I mean that it has a pre-programmed voice that speaks when you squeeze him – I don’t think he’s actually conversing with me.

    Any more.

    (In my defence, all these things have been given to me. Including my vast range of Snowy stuff. I should shut up now, shouldn’t I?)

    PS Can I have one of your knitted ones? Pretty please?

  83. on 12 Aug 2009 at 3:45 am Chris

    @mim

    So, you have a house overcrowded with immigrants? They’re probably all claiming housing benefit, too, right?

    You disgust me. You need to start posting those filthy spongers off to other countries.

    That may or may not be a hint.

  84. on 12 Aug 2009 at 5:48 pm Mim

    I have a waiting list at the moment but I am in need of something to occupy my hands (fner fner) so shall obviously add you to Clanger List Mark II.

    They have not started conversing in the wardrobe yet, which means I am at least still merely neurotic and not psychotic.

    Did I mention they all have little CND badges? Please insert “woolly liberal” joke here…

    And to all the many knitters on SYB, the pattern is downloadable from somewhere or other. You know you want to.

  85. on 20 Aug 2009 at 12:19 am Crampo

    This is probably a little off topic by this stage, but the worst thing i ever got on christmas was appendicitis(sp?). Just thought I’d share.

  86. on 21 Aug 2009 at 9:06 am Admiral Grovworth, III

    Was it beautifully wrapped, at least?