How can we tackle drug-driving?
Perhaps it might be an idea to clamp down on drug dealing.
harry portsmouth
I wanted to take the piss out of this one, but just couldn’t. The more I thought about it, the more sense it made. I mean, why treat the symptoms when you can treat the cause? Cut off the supply and all the problems derived from it will be solved instantly, and it might even have other beneficial social effects like reducing the burden on the NHS from overdoses and cutting drug-related crime. I’m surprised nobody tried this one before.
59 Responses to “Pure Simplicity”
I thought it might be an idea to clamp down on stupidity, using a system of education. Most HYSers rejected this as an attempt at PC brainwashing, and the rest told me to keep away from their children.
“portsmouth” – what an unusual surname.
Where are Crockett and Tubbs when we need them most?
Labour has probably got them protecting peado immigrants at the tax payers expense, you couldn’t make it up!
It is from the old english where ‘ports’ means ‘full of seamen’.
Basically, his actual surname is ‘cumgargler’
How do pills drive a car anyway?
We could also solve the problem of drink driving by closing all the pubs. Or taking everyone’s car keys away.
Cumgargler is a fine old English name, isn’t it? It was Edward Cumgargler, The Earl of Warwick who, at Crecy, was exposed on both flanks, but he held hard against the pushing French line and though the air was raining thick with French shot, he took down the Dauphin with one mighty blow.
Boom Ching.
93 for 4!!!!
Have it you bastards!!!!
John from Deptford (Telling It Like It Is Party, 2 Votes) thinks we should go further…
REALIST is an unusual surname as well.
Surely the best way to tackle drug driving would be to make it an A level subject. Then HYSers could toss on about how standards are dropping and how it means less year-on-year going forward.
Apparently drug drivers are quite stare-y and unstable so quite easy to tackle
If only Harry Portsmouth had checked the stats:
If one in five people are under the influence when an accident occurs, that is 20%. That means that 80% of all accidents are caused by sober people NOT on drugs or alcohol, so it’s them we need to turn our attention to!!!
Master Buck
If Master Buck had his way cars would come with pill dispensers and pint glass holders as standard.
Maybe it was such a good idea, so succintly and persusively expressed that Gordon Brown nicked it for himself?
Or maybe it was just a resonant bovine gut-grunt of such grotesque stench that it was abandoned steaming where it fell?
I do like that “WE! give a good answer…”
I like to think he gave a convulsive twitch and sreamed WE! in a high strangled voice as he typed it
The man is a genius, tackle drug dealers! Of course! Why isn’t this man Home Secertary?
“make’s alot of sence?”
Three illiteracies in one short sentence (four if you count the dubious question mark). Brilliant!
I like to drive when on drugs. It means I get there quicker and cos my eyes are open so wide i can see more than a straight driver so have more time to react. This is poppycock. Meh
Preposterous. Drug driving is only a problem because some people have to drive long distances to obtain drugs. If drugs were delivered to your door every day by a man in a white hat driving an electric cart, you would reduce drug-driving dramatically, and the associated carbon emissions and global warming. Think of the planet! And the children! And the cancellation of ten million crappy “worlds’ worst car chase” TV shows.
I am in shock. Dear old Harry Portsmouth has established himself with a first for HYS, a sensible suggestion. Not the one I would go for, but a lot more sense than the usual “lock up all the junkies, except the forin ones” approach of the average HYSer or Cabinet member.
The forin ones of course are lined up for castration, deportation and execution.
And in extreme cases, it’s possible actually to see round corners, which is handy at times.
Honestly, the number of foxtrotting peonies I would’ve collided with if I’d been restricted to straight line vision…
Thank you, harry portsmouth. I’m going to sit and eat crisps until Utopia happens.
Believe me, they can be. I suggest you google ‘mephedrone’.
From “Fundies say the darnedest things“, this wonderful offering:
Oh god!!! The sheeple will follow if you ask them! (Read Brainwash)
I have the misfortune of being from Portsmouth. Spent almost 35 years there. I went back there last year for the first time in nearly a decade, via Wembley, partly for nostalgia, partly to collect a debt owed me from such places as Tranmere and Rochdale Away on Tuesday nights for Fourth Division games, and out of a sheer sense of duty of showing my wife the appalling place I came from.
I wont bore you with any tales about what goes on in Portsmouth, or the kind of people that choose to stay there, suffice to say Harry is a cunt. If people like him are anti-drugs, it will only encourage more people to take them.
Which is a good thing.
ACAB
The war on drugs has worked really well the last 40 years…
As we can see from its efficacy, the western world’s policy on narcotics is actually driven by the HYS world view. Perhaps it’s a case study in what would happen if the rest of their ‘thinking’ was used to shape official policy.
PS. If anyone wants their usual prescriptions…
There’s nothing wrong with drug driving. I have been doing it for years and the only accident I have had was when I crashed into a luminous vole who was playing the trombone in a skiffle band on the inside of a deep blue Tuesday. It was all cleared up by Frank the pocket fluff demon, plying the squid with severed elbows.
I to, have seen a luminous vole but because i smoke so much green i cant bleedin remember where?…It was one dark night in the cuntry or somthing like that and this fookun glowin vole jumped out! Shiiiit it pooped me out…So i kicked it…yup straight in the saggy bag…it hit the deck like a sack a shit. Then i whited out and saw all kinda mental shit….even when i closed my eyes!!!!
I closed my eyes and wierd shit still happened like my eyelids were cinema curtains!!…
Drugs make you mess yourself…Just say…Whoops…i have a visitor..
My bum is sore..
She’s got the wrong end of the stick here, gary’s attracted to children, not attractive.
Ban driving, legalise drugs.
Sorted.
Next problem please.
Oh, world hunger?
Give everyone enough food.
I’m on a fucking roll.
All we are saying is, give cannibalism a chance?
See, such vile lies provide yet another reason to confirm I’m right to be an Atheist – NOTHING is prettier than glitter! And I should know; I’m female.
Not kittens, not ribbons, and not even those amazing shoes I bought 3 years ago that I keep in a special box and will never wear.
Perhaps it might be an idea to clamp down on fucktards. I have no interest in drugs or booze… until I look at HYS and then I’m prowling the flat in despair, hysterically wondering where I can get crystal meth around here, just to make the brain-pain stop.
Tough on twatbaskets, tough on the causes of twatbasketry, that’s my motto.
c’mon, seriously.
It’s a good idea.
Road deaths have been falling for 70 years as the numbers of cars have obviously risen. Of these, while many are drink related, few are drugs related. We should worry more about MRSA deaths in hospital or hypothermia deaths because we insist on having incredibly expensive electricity. Of course both of these are the government’s responsibility, rather thann being an excuse for government to run our lives so they get less coverage.
Or, we could give them the roll that I’m on with solving all the world’s problems. See, it’s a delicious crusty bread roll.
Yes clamp down on drug dealers.
These pharmacies and pubs doling out their mindbending goodies are on every streetcorner where innocent children can walk past.
They even have lollies to entice kids in. Sick bastards.
ZaNuLiebore want us all to be poisoned addicts so we can’t see what they’re up to.
Forget stiff sentences. Chop bits off the bastards. Hands, feet, heads. that’ll learn ‘em.
“I just smile, get in really close and say, ” Heaven is prettier than glitter!” ” oooooh, how fkn scary! yes lord Jesus, come get her NOW, please.
Ooooh, she needs to sign up for this:
http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=27676
I almost wish it was real (trawl down to the bottom comments; some people take it entirely seriously)…
@La Spesh
As Slappy Squirrel would say, now that’scomedy.
OK, so the tears of laughter dropping on the keyboard made my space bar not work, or something.
For people whose thang is satire, they seem a bit dense about recognising it from new people.
Completely off-topic, but saw this in Private Eye this week – maybe Joy from Rolle, Switzerland’s HYS friends are putting their plans into action?
Pirate hunting cruise (Austrian Times)
Luxury ocean liners in Russia are offering pirate hunting cruises aboard armed to the teeth private yachts off the Somali coast, it emerged today (Weds).
Wealthy punters pay 3,500 GBP per day each to patrol the most dangerous waters in the world hoping to be attacked by raiders so they can let fly with grenade launchers, machine guns and rocket launchers, reports Austrian business paper Wirtschaftsblatt.
Extras include an AK-47 machine gun for 5 GBP a day and 100 rounds of ammo for just 7 GBP while passengers are protected by a squad of ex special forces troops.
http://www.austriantimes.at/news/Around_the_World/2009-06-24/14241/Pirate_hunting_cruise
Oh Bit Spesh.
What a glorious website. The whole thing is nicely done. Too obvious in places, but still…
For those that don’t know, compare Bit Spesh’s gem of a find with the genuine article at Rapture Ready.
Sorry, ballsed up the link …
http://www.rr-bb.com
Pirate hunting.
I see no possible way for that to go badly.
From the Lockerbie thread:
Yes, go on, nearly there.
NOOOOOOO!
Err, actually it was Dumfries and Galloway Police. Scotland Yard is, despite the name, actually in England.
And it’s New. Though it’s not really.
It was the CIA that “got their man”[1] and the judges (three of them) were Scottish. In what was, legally, Scotland, even though it was in the Netherlands.
[1] Aye, that’ll be shining bright, all critical evidence “found” by CIA people, only witness putting Megrahi in the frame given several million dollars by the USA after being shown a current picture of Megrahi.
I mean, can you remember who served you in Tesco’s 6 years ago today? Could you pick them out of a line-up?
But the bit about giving up Scotch was still the stupidest.
Great uncle Bulgaria says that Libya has 3% of the world’s proven oil reserves and huge amounts of natural gas.
With the three biggest British oil companies doing deals in the country, it helps to suck a bit of cock wherever we can.
So, are we basically saying that drug pedaling leads to drug driving?
@Tomsk – can he still remember the days when he wasn’t behind the times?
Clamp down on drug dealers, it’s so simple. As in Simon.
I may be just throwing scraps to the troll, but I’ve obviously missed something here. Tom, are you referring to me? I provided the Rapture-Ready link. Have I offended you in a different thread, or perhaps just bored you shitless? Are you Tomsk and Tom?
Tom, are you a pieman?
A paranoid pieman?
Not everyone’s out to get you. Some people are far too busy trying to get NATO, the British government, Nazis, organ thieves, um…
…people with shaved balls. Moles. The bloke who invented cat’s eyes.
I’m talking about Neil Craig.
I wasn’t sure if that was clear when I started on about shaved balls.
No not referreing to you Simon, just to the rhyme.