The death toll in Afghanistan has hit the sad milestone of 204. The death toll of people we actually care about I mean.
The rising death toll among british forces is horrendous. What does me is there seems to be an air of acceptance among the british people. I dont mind saying this but i wept last night. How many more soldiers are going to have to be sacrificed. How many are going to come home with shattered bodies and minds. How long is going to before the british get angry and demand the end to this carnage. RIP to the 380. You will always be in my thoughts.
steve orton, loughborough, United Kingdom
“I don’t mind saying this but I wept last night”? Ok so it’s good you’re man enough to admit it but what? YOU CALL THAT FUCKING GRIEF? You’ve ballooned the figure to nearly double and you STILL can’t do better than “I wept last night”. Do you even care about the troops, or are you just another tool of George Bush and the Taliban? Show him how it’s done, [philpeacerob]:
I WEEP for the families who have lost loved ones,I cry in ANGER when I hear Gordon Brown say we are fighting to keep Britain safer,and I cry in ANGER when I hear the Bob Ainsworth use the word ‘THEATER’ , His he ashamed to admit that it is a war zone, and his government are sending are troops into the killing fields, If he and any other MP are committed to the Afghan course, I suggest they go into ‘THEATER ‘
I will WEEP for joy when our boys are home, and this government is laid to rest[philpeacerob], birmingham, United Kingdom
That’s more fucking like it! This guy blubs at established phrases like “theatre of war”. Beat THAT. Come on you fuckers! CRY FOR THE TROOPS! Do you love the Queen? Do you love Winston Churchill? Well then let’s see some fucking TEARS you PUSSIES! Yeah!
But it’s not all about raw emotion. Sometimes you need to take the rational approach.
I am a reasonably intelligent adult. I do not understand what we are doing in Afghanistan.
Bring the soldiers home.
AA
Well AA, all I can say is, keep using that brain-training thing your aunt got you for Christmas. When you make it up to “actually intelligent” it’ll all seem obvious.
148 Responses to “Proficiency Level”
first
The rising stupidity among HYSers is horrendous. What does me is there seems to be an air of acceptance among the british people. I dont mind saying this but i wept last night. How many more brain cells are going to have to be sacrificed. How many are going to come home with shattered minds. How long is going to before the british get angry and demand the end to this carnage. RIP to the 360(RRoD). You will always be in my thoughts.
Soldiers, *sniff*, Gawd bless ‘em. They remind me of Diana. They are saints, gun-totin’ blessed saints, every single last one of ‘em, even the nig-nog ones.
[blockquote]I am a reasonably intelligent adult. I do not understand what we are doing in Afghanistan.
Bring the soldiers home.[/blockquote]
I’ve just reached unreasonably intelligent according to Professor Leyton, so would like to add “and send the immigants back over there!”
Blockquote no work right.
When I reach actually intelligent blockquote will work…
Bunch of namby-pamby, liberal softies! I didn’t fight in two world wars and one world cup to see proud Britons weep like fairies! I blame the 60’s.
I don’t see why everyone is so upset about Afghans.
After all, they’re just hairy greyhounds.
Well, I didn’t die in 2 world wars, 1 world cup, swimming and cycling at the olympics and Andy Murray winning the Roger’s Cup for decent British men and women to die for no reason.
It was simpler back in my day, we didn’t ask no questions, just got on with our duty. Things were better then, we had less but we had more. Yoof today don’t know they’re borned!
This is precisely what they are doing, and is what makes grown men cry. In all previous British wars the Army left it’s “fallen” behind. You heard the phrase about the corner of a foriegn field already didn’t you? For the first time the Army is bringing back it’s dead volunteers, hence, tears. Boo fucking hoo.
There is even a reason why they are bringing them home. In the last two, failed, occupations of Afghanistan British dead were buried in-situ, only to be dug up and desecrated by the natives who, then as now, do not want them there. Dead or alive. The sight of british corpses being strung up and burned Fallujah-style, is deemed to be too much and might (although probably won’t) turn people against the war.
We have to stay the course. There’s light at the end of the tunnel. But the important thing is that the British Army have already lost two wars against the Pashtun, and in this one seem headed for a hat-trick and will get to keep the match ball.
It’s THEATRE.
Dumb fauquer.
Alternatively we could cut and run. A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. Many mickle makes a muckle.
Oh good grief. Now the HYS mods are combining hate topics. Early indications are that ‘Should Africa get climate change compensation?’ will reach new lows.
My favourite shouting at the monitor moment so far is …
I hope these displays of crocodile tears aren’t going to become a new HYS trend. I blame Glenn Beck, the cunt.
[blockquote\]I suggest they go into ‘THEATER ‘ [/blockquote]
Yes, maybe a stint in rep would do them the world of good. 12 week run of the mousetrap in Cromer Pavillion followed by a tour of King Lear in provincial WI Halls-will make men of them.
I also cry in ANGER when people use the word ‘theater’. Spell it fucking right, cunts.
Yeah! What that special person said.
Having read some of the comments, isn’t it great how so many HYS’ers are fully conversant with the art of war and are splendid tacticians? If these people were at the Front now, surely the Taliban would pack their bags and annoy some other poor drug producing country. Surely the MOD are missing out, on what could be a crack regiment-the Queens Own Twatbaskets maybe?
I know it’s rather passe (dahling!) to use the “nose/snort/tea” metaphor – but “Queen’s Own Twatbaskets” did just that.
Thank fuck there’s no pasta!
Isn’t ‘theater’ acceptable under common usage rules?
Like Ulrika Jonsson?
I thought I had at least a basic understanding of what the war was about. Now I know it’s to stop forruns from Afghanistan sneaking up on surfers, Jaws stylee, as they sneak into the country.
I’m sorry, I know this is off topic,
Does this not confirm what we have all thought about the sex lives of HYS’ers?
Ok, back to topic.
Every word in AA’s post is correctly spelt. And yet you are abusing him. Surely he is of more than reasonable HYS intelligence.
I thought we brought the bodies home in case they turned into zombies.
What is the AA doing transporting bodies? Is this a new add on service to standard break down and Homestart?
I’d be rather interested in seeing any Branes explain “what we are doing in Afghanistan” too.
I’m not in Afghanistan,so I can’t help you there.
I’d be rather interested in seeing any Branes explain “what we are doing in Afghanistan” too.
Killing off the white indigenous population of this country to make way for more asylum seekers from raq and Afganistan not to mention cheap labour from Poland and all of Africa’s waifs and strays. NuLabour voters if you like.
@ john adair, perhaps your blockquotes have joined up and gone to Afghanistan and are now involved in ‘Operation Blockquote’ to quote the Taliban to death.
All the Poles round my way have gone home (there are some telegraph lines that need holding up back there-badubum tsh, I will get my coat)
It’s a high-level conspiracy Neil, we can’t tell you, sorry, you haven’t got clearance. But you can be sure there are Islamofascist, organ-harvesting Nazi sympathisers involved though, obviously.
Would you like a kidney? Only $15,000. It’s still warm.
“Why cant we defend our boarders”? is them forrins invading sea side boarding houses now then?
I’m in Warsaw right now, in fact. I’m a filthy foreign immigrunt. I’ve taken a decent pole’s job. I’d send me home, if i were them. And i don’t speak the language. It’s disgusting. Shagging their women, too.
Losing.
Anyone seen Gobbler ?
I’m sure he can see off Craig easily!
I’ll chip in for a bag of Winalot (not IAMS!) if needed ?
@funny peculiar, are you also performing cheap labour whilst there?
Not like you to admit your ignorance, Neily boy. Is this a glimmer of self awareness shining through? Well done, Neil, this could be the first step on a glorious road for you.
Better late than never, old chap.
“How many more soldiers are going to have to be sacrificed.”
Don’t worry, Mr Orton, back when all of this started Tony Blair set the victory level at 210, so we only need six more fatalities to win. Phew, good work, Armed Forces!
In other news, soldiers only ever come back from wars with mental problems, leading to unemployment, broken families and alcoholism. Do we really want 204 more violent alcoholics roaming the streets? 204 more single parent families? Think before you speak next time, Mr Orton.
I wonder how many of our wonderful politicians sons and daughters are currently serving in Afganistan?
Adair – who let you off the naughty step?
You twat.
I WEEP at the horrors of the THEATER too. How can they call it that when it is the scene of so much death and gore?
Sometimes the anaesthetic doesn’t even kick in properly, there’s MRSA in every mop and bucket and I read that Gordon Brown once left his carkeys inside a patient after an appendicectomy.
It fills me with ANGER.
@skunkpussy, in fairness, old john has a serious point there, for a change.
Right back to normal-what does Christine Oliver think? she’s been rather quiet.
Er….does Christine Oliver actually think?
Adair – who let you off the naughty step?
You twat.
………..
I’m a bit queasy from constantly felching him, so I’ve sent him out to play.
Interesting opinion from the climate change compo HYS.
Yes interesting to all other twatbasket HYS ranters, nobody else gives a raped reptiles flange.
Since you put me on the naughtystep BYB has died a death, let me back in and get some valid political debate discussed out in the open, instaed of locking yourselves up in a closet and gigling like schoolchildren.
Laugh? No I didn’t
From the HYS on cow attacks.
When roaming the countryside, to dress up as Ronald McDonald.
Enough to frighten any cow to death.
[SKYISBLUESOAMI]
What advice would you give to avoid an attack by cows?
Perobably to go & have a swim in shark infested waters, at least the cows won’t get you.
[SKYISBLUESOAMI]
I heard a rumour that the SNP was going to ban meat eating because of legal due process in asessing compassion for cows.
[MrWonderfulReality]
I’m finding it really funny imagining philpeacerob crying in ANGER every time Gordon Brown appears on his television and says something he doesn’t like. Not so much crying as letting out some sort of lupine howl.
Have they got any udder thing to talk about, it must be a slow moo’s day.
Wait, is Lord Wreath suggesting that Africa doesn’t deserve humanitarian aid and concern because they were the progenitors of… humanity? That’s a hell of stretch to find a reason to blame darkies for EVERYTHING. Please can someone Kadir-Buxton me till it makes sense? Or at least until the pain goes away?
Note: don’t try any double-fisting whilst I’m unconscious.
John? Have you met Neil? You two should get on really well. He’s an angry prick and a moron, too. He likes hanging round here while people abuse him all day for being a right-wing BNP conspiracy nut. I guess he feels negative attention is better than none at all. You two have so much in common.
@ Spesh – I’m still trying to understand Lord Wreath too – humans originated in Africa so they started it all so the Africans should pay compensation to…who? The climate? Deer? Wolves? The nearest remaining relatives of passenger pigeons? Perhaps we need to see some Africans throwing money into the air- “take it! take compensation wind, clouds, sky!” or sneaking up on a dozing zebra and trying to slip a few hundred dollars into its wallet. Wading in streams and hurling coins at passing trout? Good one Lord Wreath. Good one.
From the cows HYS
#
Interesting, If the BBC have to pay £10 compensation for every comment they reject that does not break house rules, I reckon I could give up work and earn a good living getting rejected by the folk that force me to pay them for simply owning a TV set.
John, you’re a bit of a Nearly Craig, aren’t you: dull and humourless. You do occasionally say something coherent, though. If you would self-censor and only say those things, you would fit right in. Please give it a try.
ps Why do I keep reaching out to the unreachable? Some kind of deep-seated psychomological thing, probably.
By the way, here is a comic about dealing with the permanently unreachable.
BBC HYS Thread: “Did England winning the ashes make HAPPY!” The top three explosions of uncontrolled joy are…
@ I Marxed Karl
I was taken by [Fly_n_finn]’s ability to ask probing questions (not to mention his 50/50 approach to the use of apo’strophes) :
and foolishly succumbed to temptation and went to
http://newsforums.bbc.co.uk/nol/profile.jspa?userID=2590100&edition=1&ttl=20090824200134
He asks a lot of probing questions. And makes a lot of forthright statements, which I found to be best appreciated if one imagines them spoken in the voice of Angry Frank, Harry Enfield’s subtly crafted alter-ego. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ETqncRvQHWk
I was touched by his belief that cross-referring to another HYS thread will add to his authority. And impressed by the implied menace of those final hanging full stops…
He is indeed a chimp’s chuff.
Bloody hell, can’t believe both “john adair” and LL&P are still hanging around. I come back here every month or so to see if any actual jokes can be perceived through the thick haze of received-opinion student union Leftist smugness. The posts are often quite good, but I still think the site was best when Nelson disabled comments.
Imagine my surprise to find both of you here, like yin and yang, chalk and cheese, black and white, New Labour and the BNP, the Guardian and the Mail. Truly, the Universe is in a state of harmony.
However, it still doesn’t look like you’re convincing anybody, adair. I don’t think this place, or even BBC HYS, is really a very good way to break Leftist brainwashing. You’re up against an entire culture! That’s why attempts to do so often fail laughably and end up in the twatbasket, i.e. here.
Oh dear.
wow, ed/nearly, you really like those cartoons don’t you?
this site always makes me think of a dilbert cartoon in which ratbert is considering getting involved on online debates, but he’s concerned he doens’t know enough about the subjects to make valid contibutions. then he actually goes online and reads HYS (i presume) and thinks “ok, i’m in.”
i’d love to provide the link for it but i read it in a book years ago and wouldn’t know where to find it.
besides, i already ruined it for you all by revealing the punchline.
sorry
I can’t help it if those cartoons are great. I’m the victim here.
Gordon Brown and Proud
Bloody hell, can’t believe both “john adair” and LL&P are still hanging around. I come back here every month or so to see if any actual jokes can be perceived through the thick haze of received-opinion student union Leftist smugness.
………
Is the irony intentional? Probably not. GB&P read some popularist books a few months ago on why socialism is a very bad thing (welfare payments V V bad indeed) and had a damascene conversion to young fogeyism. I cannot imagine anything more 6th form common room. Rather like the twats in my day who listened to Rush, then read Any Rand and became insufferable bores.
Heh heh, all doubt is removed. It really is LL&P, not some imposter using his name
.
You can’t just read any Rand, you know – it’s got to be the one and only.
It’s almost a Shibboleth for the humourless – they prefer the good old days of “blah”
@ LL&P and GB&P
This is SYB, not FriendsReunited.
Rotwatcher
then read Any Rand and became insufferable bores
You can’t just read any Rand, you know – it’s got to be the one and only.
…..
Bugger it. Still, on the plus side you did make me laugh.
I must admit to a slight envy of people who come up with good animal fanny alliterations: Putrid Penguin Pussy or Putrid Penguin Pouch. I am also a fan of the HYS-auto-generator that is the Twat-O-Tron. Can you see where this is going ?
Dear Nelson,
Can you fix it for me to have an auto animal fanny alliteration machine. You could call it the twat-O-Tron. Wait … no. How about the Minge-O-Matic?
Thanks in advance,
Simon.
If you don’t listen to Ayn Rand then we’ll all end up living in underwater cities crammed with implausible genetic modifications firing lightning our of our arses at crazed guys in diving suits. Fact.
Expert Scientist
If you don’t listen to Ayn Rand then we’ll all end up living in underwater cities crammed with implausible genetic modifications firing lightning our of our arses at crazed guys in diving suits. Fact.
……………
You are David Icke and I claim my £10!
So AA, as a reasonably inteligent adult & all the branes here as …… can’t say what we are doing in Afghanistan.
In theory we are still there trying to kill the late Mr bin Laden.
Expert Scientist
Nah, that’s what happens if we do listen to Ayn Rand. Bioshock’s about how a society built by a thinly-disguised Rand descended first into anarchy and then totalitarian dictatorship. It’s yet another study of how utopian thinking leads to dystopian results. If I’m right. Fact.
Settle down class Professor Craig’s here
So AA, as a reasonably inteligent adult & all the branes here as …… can’t say what we are doing in Afghanistan.
In theory we are still there trying to kill the late Mr bin Laden.
……
Remind me what you are a professor of again? Do some more of your wacky racist humour about Obama, that is just so cool. Almost as cool as an aging wannabe politician running a comic book store.
they only bring back the soldiers so they can harvest their patriotic organs to give to Gordon Clown’s cronies and imams with hooks. if i’m right
i no know why our soldiers are in afganistan because i am not in the army
Oi, “Simon”, get your own moniker.
Settle down class, Professor Craig’s here. Come on. Quiet now. Sit up straight. You at the back, stop whatever you’re doing and gaze in wide wonder at Professor Craig’s vast knowledge and canny ability to construct coherent sentences. God, we are so lucky to have him! He is the only person in the entire western hemisphere who knows the truth and he frequents our little backwater of the net. What are the chances of that? He gives us his valuable time, showing us the error of our ways, and asks for nothing in return. How can we ever show our gratitude enough?
@ FP
We could start by teaching him how to spell “intelligent” properly.
Truth is, nobody knows why you are in Afghanistan (or why you were in Iraq for that matter). It’s quite possible that even the people who ordered the invasions don’t really know either. What is known is that they have consistently told a load of lies about their reasons. The most recently stated reason has nothing to do with Sheik Osama – it was something to do with protecting your cowardly asses from having to fight yourselves. So much for “an Englishman’s home…”
But why single us out for not knowing what they are lying to cover up (if anything)? Do you have some theory that people who take the piss have secret knowledge about govt intrigues that they are not prepared to share? Or is it our imagined status as on the BBC payroll that makes us privvy to all that is unknown?
Now, having said that, it only remains to ask you, would you fuck off?
I thought the rule of this site wasnt to lower ourselves to serious debate and not conduct the twatbasketry of the minging mammoths minges on HYS. The cunts have really infiltrated this site; time for a bit twatbasket cleansing “methinks”. Lets make a start… *unholstering luger and pointing at professor Craig*
Well, I thought we could take in a show then maybe go out for a nice meal or something. I don’t see why I have to decide all the time when all you do is complain about everything we do.
The moderators seem to have hit the ‘autopilot’ button for HYS today. Which would would explain the red rag/bull scenario of “Is our contribution to the EU value for money?”
Here’s one of our finest economic minds, getting to the root of the matter…
Ah, thinking. The cornerstone of a sound economic plan. Thanks Gary! It’s good to see someone do away with all those pesky ‘facts and figures’ for once – don’t you just find they get in the way of having great opinions?
Some hooting comments from the seatbelt HYS
and
Head on collisions? I shit ‘em!
“If i don’t wanna wear a seatbelt then i wont”. To be said in Eric Cartman-type voice – whateva, ah do what ah wan’!
The thing is, dear Johnny Adair put those quotes on here because he thinks they are intentionally funny. Just as his opposition to the war in Afghanistan is not based on his love for his fellow man but rather on his insane conspiracy theories about a global Zionist plot to eradicate decent white straight blokes like himself. Oh and his mum felches him nightly, The weeping wombat’s womanly wound.
Afganistan is about oil pipelines LLP. If Bush’s oil companys insist on sacrificing British soldiers for profit, they could at least be open about it and pay their wages.
They are not defending me!
From the EU thread
Actually He got plenty in return, he has greased palms with British taxpayers money and will become the President of Europe in the next few years, God help us all.
I don’t get it. If you prefer no comments, why read the fucking comments? If you are in some way offended by the commenters you could at least make the effort to call them an anorexic alligator’s axe-wound, rather than just wanking over your fondest memories of the blah filter.
I’ve said it before and I’ll probably say it again* – if you love the blah filter so much, why don’t you go live there?
*Because there’s always the thought that maybe this time someone will think I’m witty.
That’s as good a reason to be in Afghanistan as any I have ever heard.
F’fks sake…bring on the minge-o-matic and lets have done with ‘debate’
I have just read some Alisa Zinov’yevna Rosenbaum and it’s really very good.
I have just subscribed to the Journal of Ayn Rand Studies and will be reporting back forthwith.
Can’t fucking wait. Can you have a wank over it as well.
What a flapping flamingo fanny!
Good for you. Now can you fuck off.
How come Ayn Rand is suddenly namedropped? Is it because free market capitalism is a fucking farce and suddenly it’s cool to be a free market Libertarian?
Well I’m a fucking Marxist Anarchist Neo-Con Fruit Machine so up yours. Twats.
“I have just read some Alisa Zinov’yevna Rosenbaum and it’s really very good.
I have just subscribed to the Journal of Ayn Rand Studies and will be reporting back forthwith.”
OH F’FKS SAKE – stop being a sparrow’s spermy spam purse will you?
ow come Ayn Rand is suddenly namedropped? Is it because free market capitalism is a fucking farce and suddenly it’s cool to be a free market Libertarian?
Well I’m a fucking Marxist Anarchist Neo-Con Fruit Machine so up yours. Twats.
…….
Na, it’s because I mentioned the cunts who got into her crap through listening to Rush.
@LL&P
I’d like my size 12’s to meet the nadsacks of those aardvaark’s abnormal appendages. It would be like kicking soggy chips around a wank dungeon at the Adam Smith Institute.
To stand within the Pleasure Dome
Decreed by Kubla Khan
To taste anew the fruits of life
The last immortal man
To find the sacred river Alph
To walk the caves of ice
Oh, I will dine on honeydew
And drink the milk of Paradise
Christ, you turn your back for a day or two and the place gets overrun by a shitload of syphilitic civet’s cervixes (cervices?).
Fuck off back to HYS (motto: Moron shall speak shit unto moron) if you want what passes in your dull minds as a ‘debate’.
I liked Rush when I was 14 but then I grew up and had sex. I’d advise other Rush fans to do the same.
I am here as an asylum seeker from HYS, I claim my free council house and when I am settled in will bring over the rest of my hugh family, Topsy Turvy, Joy Pattinson, Andrew Carter, L A Odicean, Catherine Cave (Illustrious Frisby),Ian Jempson,Keith Hutchinson?,Karl Flavell,Maurice Cheval,Paul Maddon ,Ian Cheese, Catherine Oliver etc etc
Where do I sign on?
Oh, the irony. It burns! It burns!
not a *genuine* asylum seeker though is it…
…..more like next door’s cat defecating in your garden between killing smaller creatures
Professor Neil’s been touching me in my toilet place.
I’ll just clarify the position on Nearly’s “professorship”. Someone (was it me?) first awarded him the title after he admitted he had no academic qualifications at all, “not even made-up ones”. It was to mock him. The fact that he has embraced it is telling.
It tells us he’s a suppurating seal snatch. (My first animal parts alliteration!)
“Is it because free market capitalism is a fucking farce and suddenly it’s cool to be a free market Libertarian?”
Seeing as you ask, it’s been cool to be a free market capitalist ever since free market capitalism built our civilisation and brought wealth, freedom and democracy for all of us.
CUNT.
Simon,
It isn’t alliterative yet, since I am too feeble minded to come up with an exhaustive list of genitalia, but you could try my tool* at http://zombiesheep.co.uk/branes/fannies.php
*no sniggering at the back!
To all except John.
The ting about Adair is, basically he’s bernard manning’s unfunny cousin and desparate for success, love and attention. He’s like the two year old who is naughty to get make his parents’ notice.
He likes being told to fuck off and loves it when you get upset at his naughty opinions. It confirms he is effective and being noticed. It is best to just skip over his posts and ignore him.
John has got a tattoo on his arm that says, “When you’re good, no-one remembers. When you’re bad, no-one forgets.” It’s very sad.
“You are a beaver’s beaver…”
Needs a bit of work. If I’m right.
I think Phil is trying to use caps to convey a hidden message. “WEEP ANGER ANGER THEATER THEATER WEEP”. Oh, maybe not.
Hey! At least it’s alliterative! Or something.
“Beaver’s beaver” is excellent I think. Um, as a phrase. I am not acquainted with it in any sense.
I got a cougar’s crack. Nice.
If HYS gets into a vast weeping contest its scariest inhabitants may be reduced to powder. Does humanity’s gain outweigh pointing-and-laughing’s loss?
alt-f4
Well, I wasn’t going to say it, but I suppose that you are. Maybe you can come up with a nice little animal-based alliteration to describe yourself next time.
I often think about composing a searingly witty and sarcastic pasta-over-keyboardTM riposte to all the tiresome and mental fucktards/twatbaskets who post their boring rubbish on here like we could give a living shit, but all I can ever think up is ‘OH, JUST FUCK OFF!’.
This made me laugh so much I also spat out pasta over my keyboard. And I wasn’t even eating pasta at the time.
Sometimes you read something so funny it makes you leave the computer, cook pasta, bring it back to the computer, eat some pasta, read it again JUST SO you can laugh the pasta onto the keyboard.
If I’m right.
Umm … is it possible to give away a rebate, let alone get something in return? If I gave you a quid, then you gave me 50p back but moaned about it, so I capitulated and gave you 20p, should I expect something in return?
Etiquette has clearly evolved a great deal from “no, I couldn’t possibly / oh all right then”
@Ed aka Nearly Craig – I hate pasta and am allergic to wheat (yes, really; properly diagnosed by a Dr and everything so shaddap), but your comment about pasta was so funny I cooked, ate and spat some anyway.
Feel a bit ill now. Heeeeurgh.
“Professor” Craig, the reason we’re in Afghanistan is becuase some Saudi Arabian loonies hijacked some planes and flew them in to some building.
George W. Bush got confused over Arabia and Afganhistan, and then decided to invade Iraq as well, becuase the Tooth Fairy told him that Saddam was in a homosexual relastionship with Osama bin Laden and had nuclear weapons.
He conspiciouly didn’t invade North Korea, which does have nukes, but only little ones.
In the interim, the SNP released Megrahi in a calculated attempt to piss off Labour and England and gain access to all Libyan oil, making Scotland very rich as bait for a referendum on independence – this being secretly organised by Brown and Mandelson in the hope that the Scottish Parliament will have a vote of no confidence in the SNP minority government, the Scots will vote in a new Labour government and it can give all the money from Libyan oil sales to the UK Treasury, solving the credit crunch, making Brown once again the saviour of the day and gaining Labour the next election, when Brown will stand down and Mandleson (the architect of all this) will become both PM and First Minister of Scotland.
Actually, that makes frightening sense…
Oh I do like it when threads approach the surreal.
Btw I still think that ‘Cormorant’s Clunge’ is one of the better alliterative phrases around here, although I am thinking about a bit of a respray and going with the new name “Neil Craig what an utterly clueless cunt you are” but I’m not absolutely sure it would fit…
I’m a Reindeer’s cunt! That should come in handy at Xmas. Now, what will it say I am on the Animal Fanny Generator?
PS Badum tsssh!
Stick with ‘Cormorant’s Clunge’, it’s snappier. Plus, Nearly isn’t worth naming a ship after.
Animal Fanny Generator threw up ‘tiger’s twadge’. A fitting description of ‘John’ methinks.
‘Puma’s pudenda’ works too.
You are a squirrel’s bearded clam, not sure which is the animal and which is the rude part…
and “You are a pig’s beaver”… again, stuck for ideas..
Well there’s no arguing with that
Can I have a marmoset’s micturating minge, or has that been done? (Sounds kind of familiar, but that might just be the company I keep.)
My Foot Hurts.
Can I have a marmoset’s micturating minge, or has that been done? (Sounds kind of familiar, but that might just be the company I keep.)
…….
It has been done, but only when I was very drunk. To be fair, she was very provocative.
I got that I am an ermine’s apricot slit!
Now that is genuinely funny!!
By the way, I have pasta again so at 1pm today can the unfunniest person ever post on here only ? I ran out of J Cloths.
Yes, that’s you Craig.
I’m an “Ass’s Cunt”. That’s an oxymoron, not an alliteration!!
I reckon that for people without an OpenId, including me, they should use the Beta version of the Minge-O-Matic for their user name.
FFS Ceannair!! You got Apricot Split, as well !?
This ID is mine, you Septic Ceannair’s Sperm Sluice.
I drafted a few responses to your comment, but on reflection the simple “CUNT” was the only adequate response an articulate person could possibly make given the paucity of the intellect to which it was aimed.
It was, therefore, not a surprise to see that the counter-response would be an infantile multi-line variant of “you too, nyah”. Now all we need are a few “yo momma” references and we will have exhausted this feeble-minded yobbo’s entire repetoire.
If you use a playground insult, then you should expect one in return. “You see that Karl Marx? That’s your mum, that is. That’s your mum trying to look extra feminine.”
While we’re on the subject of John Adair, here’s some rambunctiously hilarious comments of his that ended up on the shite pile. I mean, of course, the shite shite pile… what with HYS being such a huge pile of shite, they have to put another pile to one side for diarrhoea or something. Whatever, just click this link and search for your favourite twats to see them in their uncensored glory.
From these two, you’d think John hates brown people and white are, as they say, alright… but you’d be wrong. He’s just a cunt to everyone who’s not a member of the BNP:
Not killing enough sand niggers for your liking, eh, John? Never mind, there’s always your other hobby of shouting at people in the dole queue.
Well, your momma is so fat that her doctors are serious concerned that she is at serious risk of developing diabetes and heart disease, not to mention the mental illness issues that may result from having an obese body in our image-driven modern world.
So there.
Alt-f4 it is a fair point that nobody either here or in govevernment knows what we are there for. The only problem is that thread was created to make fun of AA, singled out as one the members of the public branes get off on taking the piss of, for not knowing either.
JA’s gerbil
That is indeed one of the vest informed comments on here (except for mine of course)
See my vest? See my vest? Made from real gorilla chest. As opposed to you, who are made entirely of gorilla gorge.
It’s only an oxymoron if you’re using ‘ass’ as the rather pathetic American euphemism for ‘arse’. In British (not UK) English, an arse is the thing that shit comes out of that’s not your mouth; an ass (Equus africanus asinus)is a domesticated member of the Equidae family. Thus “ass’s cunt” is perfectly acceptable in British English, if a little dull as an insult.
Problem? Problem? Taking the piss is the raison d’etre of this site.
Don’t feed Nearly by acknowledging his existence.
alt-f4, I think you were actually a victim of the timeless “I know you are but what am I?” which is widely known to be entirely conclusive and means Mr Proud has now officially won and is better than us all.
I hate it when that happens.
@Mim
Remember there are two “Proud”s presently, and only one of them is an obvious twatbasket.
See what he does here? First of all he calls everyone a cunt, then he tries to join in.
Craig, I’d hope you’d die from AIDS, but seeing as that would involve you being close to another human at some point, it’d be hope gone astray.
Mim
Sorry to correct you but there is a gambit that can succesfully be employed against “I know you are but what am I?”
It’s the old favourite, repeating back the phrase you have just heard, but in a high pitched whiny voice. Very tricky to pull off in a text based medium, I’ll grant you.
Can JA and Prof not just fuck off somewhere else and pretend to be serious there?
Tabby cats scabby twats
baaaaa bleet *munch munch* bleet
I know you are but what am I?
That?