Hypocrites and Racists11 Sep 2009 02:35 pm

Sarcasm and Irony for Beginners

By Alex

You know what, we’ve not had an good old straight-up racist fucknut-magnet thread for a while. Should the EU welcome more refugees? One of the more unorthodox answers comes from Glen Thomas, who I assume is transforming into some kind of white supremacist werewolf.

AAAARRRRGGGHHHH NNNOOOOOO!!!!

Glen Thomas

But rather than just roar, some HYSers have decided to use this topic to try out their dry, cutting wit, and that’s what we’re going to be learning about today.

What an absolutely splendid idea. Cut the number of illegal immigrants by allowing them to come over legally.

Could we please extend this to other crimes. The murder rate would be cut drastically if we made it legal to kill and the number of thefts slashed if we made it legal to help yourself to other peoples property.

Phil, Liverpool

You’ve made a bit of a mistake here Phil. You’ve gone and opened your sarcastic tirade with a very reasonable idea, one that we already do anyway by allowing any immigration at all. Then you’ve made a massive jump to something completely different. Doing that doesn’t make the idea look stupid, it makes you look stupid, and that’s not what you want from sarcasm. Let an expert show you: I see where you’re going with this. While we’re at it, let’s eradicate a terrible disease by cutting the cancer quota to zero and bring in an Australian-style points system for rape.

See? Much better. You could also try something like this, if you don’t mind being a cunt.

”They often rely on human traffickers and risk their lives as they try to enter the EU on rickety boats.”

Oh, my heart bleeds for them, sniff…

peter paxton

Some competent sarcasm there. But what a cunt. Somehow though, straight insults aren’t enough for me. I wanted to work out exactly how one achieves such world-beating sarky cuntishness, and I think I’ve got it. These two actually think immigration is a crime. Not just illegal immigration, all of it. They actually think that what basically amounts to moving house is a heinous act in and of itself. All that stuff about visas is just the government going a bit soft. From that viewpoint, there’s a delicious irony to immigrants drowning on their way to Europe. Poetic justice! You wanted to flood our green and pleasant land with yourselves, but now it is your own lungs which are flooding! Hoist by your own petard! Live by the boat, die by the boat! Peter Paxton, you’ve passed both sarcasm and irony with flying colours, simply by failing as a human being. You cunt.

Unfortunately these next two weren’t up to sarcasm and could only manage unintentional irony:

Right now, people all over Europe are remembering the 70th. Anniversary of the outbreak of WW2 – a monumental struggle to free Europe (and elsewhere) from the yoke of unbearable tyranny. And now along comes the “EU” with this notion.

Remind me – what did so many die in WW2 for?

The “EU” must be stopped. Now. No ifs, buts nor maybes. Abolished. Thrown into the dustbin of History. Period.

[NewsMonitor]

You’ve got to admit he does it well though. I can’t help but admire anyone who can wax lyrical about how noble it was of us to fight Hitler and then call an ineffective trading bureaucracy that lets people flee to Britain “unbearable tyranny”. It just goes to show, nothing helps you with unintentional irony like having absolutely no sense of perspective whatsoever. Though he’ll never quite be the mack daddy of the discipline:

No, the UK should not welcome more refugees.

Queue the swivel eyed leftys and their personal attacks, devoid of an argument.
g mitchell, kent

Good point. An internet discussion forum is no place for unjustified assertions, straw-man arguments and hypocritical ad hominem attacks.

74 Responses to “Sarcasm and Irony for Beginners”

  1. on 11 Sep 2009 at 2:43 pm   John Adair gets the first comment in again, Wham

    Hi my fans out there.

  2. on 11 Sep 2009 at 2:49 pm   Expert Scientist

    You think HYS is bad, but then you see SA officials threatning the ‘third world war’ over an intersexual (woof).

  3. on 11 Sep 2009 at 2:58 pm   Steve

    My pee-pee need a wet-wipe.

  4. on 11 Sep 2009 at 3:19 pm   Rube

    My blah bleeds for them.

  5. on 11 Sep 2009 at 3:32 pm   Expert Scientist

    My comment was run through the blah filter again, or is it procedurally generated?! You couldn’t make it up!

  6. on 11 Sep 2009 at 3:44 pm   Everytime you blah a comment, an angel gets aids.

    Please stop the blah.

  7. on 11 Sep 2009 at 3:56 pm   Settle down class Professor Craig's here

    Here we see grazing branes in their natural habitat.

    Giggling to themselves about how much smarter they are than the common people because the common people oppose unlimited immigration (as indeed do most of the Asian community) & that proves them racist (except maybe for the Asian community who have just been brainwashed by the Daily Mail which none of them read).

    Of course none of the branes have the brains to produce a reason why unlimited immigration is a good thing but it must certainly be so & opposing it RACIST!!! if Beeboids support it & the common people oppose it.

  8. on 11 Sep 2009 at 3:56 pm   twopoint6khz

    Queue the swivel eyed leftys and their personal attacks, devoid of an argument.

    You’re a cunt.

    And you can’t spell ‘cue’.

  9. on 11 Sep 2009 at 4:05 pm   Settle down class Professor Craig's here

    Looks like the self aware computer, entirely without any involvment by people running the site, is playing up again.

  10. on 11 Sep 2009 at 4:12 pm   Nelson

    Neil. There is definitely something wrong with your computer. All your posts are coming out saying blah blahdy blah instead of being wise and brilliant.

  11. on 11 Sep 2009 at 4:20 pm   Nick Griffin would kick the fuck out of Andy McNab

    Griffin McNab Fuck Kick

  12. on 11 Sep 2009 at 4:20 pm   binary solo

    1101010101001011 0100101010011010 1010101010101010 0101011110101010 1001001001010111 1101101011101111 1111111110101011 1000010100010100

  13. on 11 Sep 2009 at 4:20 pm   Yossarian

    Goddam Polish immigrunts, what did we fight the war for any…. oh

    I’ll get me … oh

    you’ve put it outside already.

  14. on 11 Sep 2009 at 4:22 pm   Goddam Polish immigrunts, what did we fight the war for any... oh. I'll get me ... oh. You've put it outside already.

    Massive bendy cock wanks

  15. on 11 Sep 2009 at 4:47 pm   shoo

    ‘White supremacist warewolf’ = genius

    good work all as ever

  16. on 11 Sep 2009 at 4:48 pm   It started with a blah

    I love immigrants me.

  17. on 11 Sep 2009 at 4:53 pm   All immigrants are illegal, raping our once GREAT land. Vote BNP and clean the country

    Immigrants Blah

  18. on 11 Sep 2009 at 4:54 pm   John Adair wants to suck Andy McNab's cock but is afraid to ask

    BNP fuckwits

  19. on 11 Sep 2009 at 4:55 pm   Keep trying Prof Craig (your arse got such a kicking over at Deltoid http://scienceblogs.com/deltoid/2009/09/ian_plimer_is_a_big_chicken.php )

    Ha Ha

  20. on 11 Sep 2009 at 5:01 pm   Cyril

    I seem to remember so many people dying in WW2 because they didn’t like the idea of some short-arsed racist cunt running things.

    Except for the Germans who died, they were all for it.

    By my calculations, this makes NewsMonitor a German. And being a mathmetician I judge that I am totally correct.

  21. on 11 Sep 2009 at 5:03 pm   I fought in the war cos I like racism, I was on the Germans side, natch.

    bloop

  22. on 11 Sep 2009 at 5:30 pm   Bloop?

    What?

  23. on 11 Sep 2009 at 5:57 pm   I was in a Show Uz Ya Big Cock contest in Hull once and a Polish came third behind two Islams. I was about 6th or 10th and John Adair came last with the smallest cock! Neil Craig had to enter the womens contest. Apparently he'd put it up so many bums it h

    blah bonjour blah cock blah petit dejeuner

  24. on 11 Sep 2009 at 5:58 pm   As long as there are any Islamic Terrorists and their muslim sympathisers in the UK we will never be safe

    Muslim terrorist 9/11 twin towers, planes

  25. on 11 Sep 2009 at 6:02 pm   It's impossible to smile when there are pedophiles hiding around every corner.

    Peados Philby

  26. on 11 Sep 2009 at 6:03 pm   Well i'm hoping Gordon Brown gets it and dies

    Prime minister bad

  27. on 11 Sep 2009 at 6:10 pm   Blah witch

    I bum foxes.

  28. on 11 Sep 2009 at 6:16 pm   Blah witch

    hmm my post changed. but i still bum foxes.

  29. on 11 Sep 2009 at 6:17 pm   witch blah

    Foxes bum me.

  30. on 11 Sep 2009 at 6:40 pm   I bum foxes and so does my wife.

    I bum foxes and so does my wife?

  31. on 11 Sep 2009 at 6:56 pm   eman

    I see you are all maintaining the usually level of conversation.

  32. on 11 Sep 2009 at 7:24 pm   Hull should be the "city of culture" because we still have the most traditional culture of all the great citys. Hull is a GREAT city.

    GREAT HULL BNP

  33. on 11 Sep 2009 at 7:26 pm   HULL!! and Spiders nightclub should be the centre!!

    GREAT HULL NIGHTCLUB

  34. on 11 Sep 2009 at 10:14 pm   Did g.mitchell get the most efficient pice of unintentional irony ever there?

    Fox bumming rules OK.

  35. on 11 Sep 2009 at 10:21 pm   Old Greg

    ingerland ingerland ingerland

  36. on 12 Sep 2009 at 12:13 am   Wow you guys are all so good at the fucking Internet

    Hormones

  37. on 12 Sep 2009 at 1:34 am   Bit Spesh's mate works in Spiders... A, is that you?

    I’d laugh if the person who recommended Spiders niteklub was one of my real life friends!

  38. on 12 Sep 2009 at 1:36 am   Oh Christ, it's not TYF's brother, is it? W? Is that you? Are you still in Newquay?

    Well, that would be an amusing turn up for the books!

  39. on 12 Sep 2009 at 1:37 am   Sorry to turn this into Bit Spesh's big Hull-centric family n friends shout-out. Will go to bed now.

    Cocknugget!

  40. on 12 Sep 2009 at 1:39 am   Hey! It actually said what I wrote (cocknugget). Damn, won't do it again, I bet. Right, am really off to bed now. Possibly.

    Insomnia.

  41. on 12 Sep 2009 at 4:48 am   I hate krauts and nips.

    And jews.

  42. on 12 Sep 2009 at 5:38 am   JOIN THE ENGLISH DEFENCE LEAGUE AND KICK SOME ARSE

    ARSE KICKING

  43. on 12 Sep 2009 at 10:05 am   why the blah filter still? this could ahve been an excellent thread to wind up the racists. Getting bored now.

    blah turdsplurges

  44. on 12 Sep 2009 at 10:06 am   why the blah filter still? this could ahve been an excellent thread to wind up the racists. Getting bored now.

    that was good it displayed wot i typed

  45. on 12 Sep 2009 at 10:06 am   why the blah filter still? this could ahve been an excellent thread to wind up the racists. Getting bored now.

    knew it-still fucking blahing.arse biscuits

  46. on 12 Sep 2009 at 11:25 am   save the foxes

    Haven’t they suffered enough? The racists, I mean.

  47. on 12 Sep 2009 at 2:25 pm   The ideology of this extremist socialist government is almost as much a threat to our society and way of life as mainstream muslim belief and ideology. Something needs to be done about it, before our society implodes. Bring Back Common Sense, UK

    Listen to the people!

  48. on 12 Sep 2009 at 2:54 pm   Everytime you blah a comment, an angel gets aids.

    我是英国人

  49. on 12 Sep 2009 at 3:06 pm   Settle down class Professor Craig's here

    On the contrary Deltoid, which includes as close to real scientists as the warming alarmist movement gets (eg an editor from Nature) were wholly incapable of producing a “coherent argument” & had to ban me.

    Mind you they didn’t have to claim it was the fault of a self aware computer ;-)

  50. on 12 Sep 2009 at 3:07 pm   angel killer

    blah * infinity

  51. on 12 Sep 2009 at 3:08 pm   Settle down class Professor Craig's here

    o

  52. on 12 Sep 2009 at 3:08 pm   Settle down class Professor Craig's here

    sdfdjhbhy

  53. on 12 Sep 2009 at 3:10 pm   A-WOOOOOO! Werewolves of London!

    Warren Zevon.

  54. on 12 Sep 2009 at 3:29 pm   我是英国人

    Everytime you blah a comment, an angel gets aids.

  55. on 12 Sep 2009 at 3:38 pm   The children's checks thread http://newsforums.bbc.co.uk/nol/thread.jspa?forumID=6991&edition=1&ttl=20090912142100 is sucking them in beautifully. (HYSers, not children.)

    Added: Saturday, 12 September, 2009, 13:15 GMT 14:15 UK

    There could be thousands of nonces out there waiting to groom children. Many parents and step parents / guardians are nonces. You’ve got to talk sense.

    P Collens, Nonce Sense

    Recommended by 0 people

  56. on 12 Sep 2009 at 6:59 pm   He's Spartacus

    Has anyone seen John Pilger?

    Who’s hiding him?

  57. on 12 Sep 2009 at 7:02 pm   I said, has anyone seen John Pilger? I've lost him.

    Onanist.

  58. on 12 Sep 2009 at 10:35 pm   FUck your fucking blah filter you fuck

    Seriously you are a bigger fucking cunt than any HYS ever.

  59. on 12 Sep 2009 at 10:35 pm   and fuCK it too

    twatbasket.

  60. on 12 Sep 2009 at 11:08 pm   Mummy, I done a wee

    Huggies.

  61. on 13 Sep 2009 at 2:33 am   I hate krauts, nips and NC

    Neil Craig bums foxes.

  62. on 13 Sep 2009 at 10:08 am   NATIONAL FRONT, STORMFRONT, THE BNP TOO, THESE ARE THE POLITICAL PARTIES, THAT ARE GOOD FOR YOU, GO ON, GIVE THEM A VOTE

    BNP STORMFRONT NATIONAL FRONT VOTE

  63. on 13 Sep 2009 at 12:06 pm   I have no idea if the person above is serious, but i just wanna say right now that stormfront is A FUCKING FORUM NOT A PARTY.

    BLAHDY SHEEP FUCKERS

  64. on 13 Sep 2009 at 12:09 pm   YOU ALSO CAN'T VOTE FOR YOUTUBE OR FACEBOOK SO plz John adair, stop trying (:

    I REFUSE TO VOTE LABOUR OR BUM FOXES.

  65. on 13 Sep 2009 at 2:48 pm   Settle down class Professor Craig's here

    Blah, bleh, bloh, feigh fo fum.

  66. on 13 Sep 2009 at 5:07 pm   Skippy the Wonder Sea-Dog

    H Blah
    E Blah
    L Blah
    P Blah
    ! Blah

  67. on 13 Sep 2009 at 6:02 pm   Un homme Francais qui bum les foxes.

    Je bum les foxes

  68. on 13 Sep 2009 at 6:02 pm   Un homme Francais qui bum les foxes.

    Quoi?

  69. on 13 Sep 2009 at 6:03 pm   Un homme Francais qui bum les foxes.

    Je ne dit pas que je danse! Le filtre de blah est tres weird.

  70. on 13 Sep 2009 at 6:03 pm   Un homme Francais qui bum les foxes.

    Merde.

  71. on 13 Sep 2009 at 6:04 pm   [Lionheart111] Glasgow

    No!!… I read that the British sheeple are allowing us to be swamped because theyve allowed immigration to go unchecked.. End this madness now send them to Iraq.

  72. on 14 Sep 2009 at 8:53 am   The Other Werewolf of London

    AWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

  73. on 16 Sep 2009 at 4:04 pm   Awaiting Response

    Now hey there people, won’t you lend an ear?
    ’cause I’ve a story to tell and I’m telling it here
    I was born in a town in the great UK
    From a baby to a boy to a man today
    And I’m a musical man, and I’m a man of verse
    But I’ve got a little problem and it’s getting worse

  74. on 23 Sep 2009 at 4:31 pm   shitferbrains

    and while they are at it. kill those cunting GREY squwirrels. re-introduce the brown bear