Miscellaneous Prats23 Sep 2009 03:18 pm
By Alex
They should get Lemmie from Mortorhead in the line up , now he would make it interesting. With his music writing abilities , years of experience in the industry, could teach them how to live rock n roll & do it For real !! They could change the band name to Sugg’a Daddy then ?? Least the music might sound better. Maybe their ace of hearts would compliment his ace O’ spades ??
Now that wud be sweet !!Simon Joe Brown, Pontefract, United Kingdom
I look forward to hearing your views on the future of the Church of England.
175 Responses to “Pre-Prepared Comedy Answers”
Get in
Blah?,no blah? woohoo are we back to normal then?
That’s awfully clever of you. How did you manage to post so quickly? Let’s have a round of applause for whoever wrote that.
Knew blah, it was blahdy too blah good blah to be blah true
Well done @first my compliments sir/madam
I think the anonymity has driven me mad.
BNP Ban sugerbabes at the RSS feed
I assume people are blahing on purpose.
blah blahde blah paedos blah blah
wait, what! there’s a blah filter!
blah
Quit the Blah filter Alex!
UKIP or BNP
Useless eaters muslims
BNP, the party of the people, for the people.
WE WON
Racism certainly exists in Britain but unfortunately it is directed largely at whites who the police are afraid to protect for fear of being labelled racists by the namby pamby “politically correct” groups who deserve to be deported to the Middle East where they will find freedom of speech and a load of other forms of liberty simply are not tolerated.
Dusty.
I’m a thick cunt.
warble warble
Just sayin’!
Newsniffer wisdom
Lemmie touched my bum.
I listened carefully to what Lord Adair said on the TV this morning and I concluded he is either a blatant liar or seriously deluded and Naieve.
He talked about bankers getting bonuses ‘staggered’ in the form of share options.
Has this man ever been to the city? I have worked in 4 fund management firms and all of them (bar none) have always issued part share, part cash bonuses. Usually 3 years to vest the options and 5 years and they are tax free.
So how could bonuses cause the crash? – the answer is they didn’t. The cumulative effect of extracting future labour value from the Economy and taking it as cash now, and then giving it to anyone (bankers, banks, shareholders etc) who are then expected the re-distribute the resources that the money represents – is where it all goes wrong.
Sometimes I think I must live in a bubble and that I’m the only one that can see it.
Just think about it, if I speculate on the stock market I am betting on the future of a company (or companies). If I bet right then that money I took today will be filled by the future production of that company (it’s profits).
However if that company doesn’t make money then who’s going to put it back? Me? I think not – I’m already in Mauritius.
The answer is this goes on and on until it reaches a point where so much has been extracted from the Economy we’re all going to have to work for the next 10 years – effectively for free.
It’s just like people who keep taking advances on their wages through those ‘pay day cheque’ places – except in the Economic scenario it’s not the wage earner but his relative (the bank).
The issue with the bankers bonuses is (in the scenraio above) the relative who keeps cashing your pay-day cheque is actually taking 30% commission for taking it to the shop while you’re at work!
I find it very worrying that Lord Adair (or the Government) has not grasped this simple problem. No wonder the banks are laughing, if they produce anything marginally complicated the authorities who are supposed to regulate it stare blankly into space with a total mis-understanding and the next robbery can begin…
In the meantime the Government re-assure all the public that they know what they’re doing and the despreate people lap it up (in hope more than confidence) because they cannot bear anymore crises – which unfortunately they will have to endure until Capitlaism eventually collapses.
I might send Lord Adair a copy of Das Kapital because he obviously hasn’t read it or he would realise the fundamental failure Capitalism contains.
HYS blarbellings
Neil Craig, the SYB king
flaps
I’d rather vote for a diseased badger’s twat then Nick Griffin.
I remember when all this were fields.
Typing as I wank this.
I’ll be back in two weeks.
BEE ENN BEE
England the GREEEAAAAT!
sad
(
Losers
Bastards
Another voter won
Blah blah blah, bleh.
Cunts Blahdy Blah
Blah Mugs Blah
like goldy and bronzy, but made of iron
Cowardly schoolchildren at SYB
Everyone is a racist, its just who you are racist against
Fox-bumming is ace
Puny trumps
Jeff Goldblah
I don’t understand this blah-filter thing
WHOSE RESPONSIBLE THE BLAH FILTER?
Lemmie bums foxes.
Fight
He wouldn’t stand a chance, the lazy eyed twat.
blah blah blardy blah
they they they they they are are are are are all all all all all cunts cunts cunts cunts cunts
Wee Jimmy Krankie.
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“If you love Women so much..
why don’t you go live there?”Miscellaneous Prats23 Sep 2009 03:18 pm
Pre-Prepared Comedy Answers
By Alex
Where now for the Sugababes?
They should get Lemmie from Mortorhead in the line up , now he would make it interesting. With his music writing abilities , years of experience in the industry, could teach them how to live rock n roll & do it For real !! They could change the band name to Sugg’a Daddy then ?? Least the music might sound better. Maybe their ace of hearts would compliment his ace O’ spades ??
Now that wud be sweet !!
Simon Joe Brown, Pontefract, United Kingdom
I look forward to hearing your views on the future of the Church of England.
54 comments hide
54 Responses to “Pre-Prepared Comedy Answers”
on 23 Sep 2009 at 3:21 pm first
Get in
on 23 Sep 2009 at 3:30 pm That Bloke in the Corner
blah?blah blah? woohoo blah barble back blah normal baa?
on 23 Sep 2009 at 3:31 pm Alex
blahdy’blahdy baa blah blahdy blarb blahdy barble.
on 23 Sep 2009 at 3:32 pm That Bloke in the Corner
blahdy blah barble was blah too blahdy barble blah blah blahdy blah blahdy
on 23 Sep 2009 at 3:34 pm That Bloke in the Corner
Well barble blahdy blahdy compliments blah
on 23 Sep 2009 at 3:47 pm The blah filter has infected my brain! Everything I say comes out blah except names! I’ve named my dog every word in the dictonary to get around it, but it’s still a pain in the aardvark.
I touch children.
on 23 Sep 2009 at 3:49 pm I bum foxes ror real, now vote for the Real British National Party who will ban the Sugerbabes for being too PC.
blahdy’blahdy blahdy my blahdy blog you know.
on 23 Sep 2009 at 3:53 pm pigfrottage – I go away for 2 weeks and now look what you’ve done
I blah baa are blahing warble purpose.
on 23 Sep 2009 at 4:18 pm shitferbrains
blahdy blah blah warble blah blahdy
on 23 Sep 2009 at 5:22 pm nicktionary
wait what! there’s blah blah baa!
on 23 Sep 2009 at 5:45 pm alex, quickly nelson’s away, deactivate the blah filter.
I touch children.
on 23 Sep 2009 at 5:55 pm If you are going to vote BNP, then say Blah, If you are going to vote BNP, then say Blah, If you are going to vote BNP, then say Blah, If you are going to vote BNP, going to vote BNP, going to vote BNP then say BLAH!
Quit the Blah filter Alex!
on 23 Sep 2009 at 6:10 pm I’ve had enough of all three main parties. I’m voting UKIP or BNP next time.
UKIP or BNP
on 23 Sep 2009 at 6:15 pm Time has come to anhiliate pakistan and Iran from the map of the world… the muslims need to be punished…they have lost their license to live
Useless eaters muslims
on 23 Sep 2009 at 6:46 pm It is now time to vote BNP for one reason alone, it needs a party that will put the British people first and get rid of all the trash we have harboured due to the mis-management of our country by the two main parties.
blah the party of the blah barble the blah.
on 23 Sep 2009 at 7:27 pm Topsy Turvey…….. It’s official, Hys 1 SYB 0, no more piss taking comments now from the Lefty PC losers.
WE WON
on 23 Sep 2009 at 7:45 pm I am a member of the BNP but I am not racist just one of the many who want homes, jobs, healthcare etc firstly for my family and children and only if there’s anything left in the “kitty” for the endless stream of illegal immigrants who are floodiing into
blahdy blah blahdy baa blahdy blah blah blahdy blah blahdy blah barble blahdy blah blah baa are blahdy blah warble blahdy blahdy blah blahdy warble blah blah barble blarb blah blah blah blah baa blah blahdy barble blahdy baa blah blah blah blarb blah blah baa blah of blarb blah baa blahdy blah blah barble warble blah blah blah blahdy blah.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 12:01 am “It was like being on Mars,” she told the BBC, “I haven’t been there, obviously, but I imagine that’s what the sky would look like.” Fucking brilliant. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/8270104.stm
blarb’blarb got blah own blahdy blah blah.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 1:44 am BNP ROOLZ. ALSO, THIS IS THE ONLY PLACE ON THE INTERNET WERE PEEPLE TAKE THE PISS OUT OF THE BNP. BRITISH NASHONLISM OKAY.
baa’baa a thick cunt.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 3:14 am i prefer warble to blah – but then a warble wouldn’t be as good if it weren’t surrounded by blahs
warble warble
on 24 Sep 2009 at 3:19 am JOHN ADAIR ISN’T A PAEDOPHILE. JUST SAYING.
Just sayin’!
on 24 Sep 2009 at 9:16 am Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity
Newsniffer wisdom
on 24 Sep 2009 at 10:17 am Rube
Lemmie touched my bum.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 10:27 am I listened carefully to what Lord Adair said on the TV this morning and I concluded he is either a blatant liar or seriously deluded and Naieve.I might send Lord Adair a copy of Das Kapital because he obviously hasn’t read it or he would realise the funda
blah blahdy baa barble blahdy blah blarb now it hurts.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 10:51 am They control the masses and their in no country immune. At one time it was just a thought now it is thought and it has become the salt of indisputable understandings. We are a mass of impulses and to actuate it outside of another exists.
HYS blarbellings
on 24 Sep 2009 at 11:08 am Wheres Neil Craig when you want him most?
blahdy blah blah blah warble hard and baa blah hurts.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 11:38 am i’m wanking as I type this
flaps
on 24 Sep 2009 at 12:35 pm this blah filter kills fascists
I’d baa vote warble blarb blahdy barble’barble blah blah Nick Griffin.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 1:32 pm I didn’t know I had to have a licence to live. Do I get one at the post office?
I barble warble blahdy this were blah.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 1:34 pm So I put me foot through me router – and sent NELSON the bill.
I touch children.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 1:42 pm They’ll get bored soon
blahdy’blahdy be back in two weeks.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 2:00 pm this blah filter kills fascists………Ehhh NO it does not, vote BNP and reclaim Engerland
BEE ENN BEE
on 24 Sep 2009 at 2:02 pm They’ll get bored soon NO WE WILL NOT NICK GRIFFIN FOR KING NEIL CRAIG FOR PM
England the GREEEAAAAT!
on 24 Sep 2009 at 3:22 pm sad
sad o
on 24 Sep 2009 at 3:28 pm 1984 returns for real…… Have Your Say have won, sad SYB losers
Losers
on 24 Sep 2009 at 3:34 pm Bee Enn Bee? Oh I Get it – British Nazi Bastards
Bastards
on 24 Sep 2009 at 4:04 pm on 24 Sep 2009 at 3:34 pm Bee Enn Bee? Oh I Get it – British Nazi Bastards…dO WE HAVE YOUR VOTE?
Another voter won
on 24 Sep 2009 at 4:06 pm Where did all the cunts suddenly appear from?
blah blah blah blah.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 4:23 pm In leading the World into a spending spree, we’ve gone from Great Britain to Grate Britain. This alleged Government is unforgiveable.
Cunts Blahdy Blah
on 24 Sep 2009 at 4:40 pm Thicks cunt’s don’t realise the comments aren’t the point of SYB. Thick fuckers actually think its some kind of alternative HYS, fucking funny really.
Blah Mugs Blah
on 24 Sep 2009 at 4:50 pm sticks, stones, broken bones – if you laugh at me i’ll put me boot in your gob!
blah blahdy and blah but blahdy barble blah
on 24 Sep 2009 at 5:44 pm SYB like to take the piss, but do not like it when HYS give it back. Schoolchildren!
warble baa at SYB
on 24 Sep 2009 at 5:50 pm Talk about getting off the point! However, if the BNP members are all racists presumably you will agree that the Islamic scum who want to behead us for being white are racists too – or is that not PC!
barble baa blahdy racist blarb blahdy who blahdy blah blah barble
on 24 Sep 2009 at 6:00 pm I love the way all the BNP-fellaters think that clogging up the comments section of a single website they’re not obliged to read counts as a victory for free speech.
Foxbumming is ace
on 24 Sep 2009 at 6:01 pm I also love the way they ham-fistedly try to dodge the point by mentioning Islam.
Puny trumps
on 24 Sep 2009 at 6:02 pm I even love the mention of ‘schoolchildren’ – because if there’s one thing which shows maturity, it’s having to have the last word – even on someone else’s website.
Jeff Goldblah
on 24 Sep 2009 at 6:07 pm ThoughtGrenade
blahdy don’t barble blah blahfilter thing
on 24 Sep 2009 at 6:13 pm ThoughtGrenade
WHOSE RESPONSIBLE blahdy BLAH blah?
on 24 Sep 2009 at 7:08 pm Rube
Lemmie bums foxes.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 7:20 pm Right, all you Liberals, OUTSIDE NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I touch children.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 7:50 pm Gordon brown would kick the living shit out of Nick Griffin
He blah’blah stand a blah the blarb blahdy blahdy.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 7:50 pm I wonder if all BNP members are merely dyslexic rather than just thick as shit
blah blah blardy blah
on 24 Sep 2009 at 9:44 pm I only hate one group of people: others
blahdy blahdy blah they blah blarb are blarb baa are blahdy all blah blah blah cunts blah blah cunts warble
on 24 Sep 2009 at 10:11 pm Can we also have Person A, Person B brought back, too? Pretty Please?
Wee Jimmy Krankie.
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Armchair Generals and Delusions of Grandeur and Permanently Bewildered18 Sep 2009 05:00 pm
Historian
By Nelson
Blah blah missile defence.
Those of you who bash the US constantly for being “warmongers” would be wise to remember the last two times our country was asked to step in a save your bacon. The kind of resentment seen from some in Europe resembles that of a spoiled child who hates Daddy, even though all the child has, in some way or another, he owes to Daddy’s sacrifices in the past. War is never going to end – it is an unfortunate part of human nature. So show some respect to those who have the power to rescue you…
Dave, Pittsburgh
Right, I’m off on holiday for a couple of weeks. Bye.
74 comments speak your brane
Permanently Bewildered17 Sep 2009 03:40 pm
Reynard The Fox-bummer
By Nelson
The Guardian is running a poll to find out who would be the nation’s favourite celebrity headteacher. David Tennant is winning at the mo.
Thanks to Jane for spotting “Reynardmandrake” taking the opportunity to Make A Point.
Don’t forget Christopher Eccleston – both he and David Tennant would make excellent teachers. I can see them now – teaching children how to think for themselves and to look at the mind as a growing thing – not as a receptacle for NuLabour philosophy.
The mind is “bigger on the inside than on the outside.”
Oh Yessssss!!!
reynardmandrake
Jane says “I like the Churchill quote at the end”.
44 comments speak your brane
Credulous Nincompoops and Curtain Twitchers15 Sep 2009 11:42 am
Git
By Nelson
Thanks to David for finding this one. It’s from a Times Online article about some ex-pat American bird’s struggle to decide whether her daughter should spend more time in the English countryside (feeding horses) or over in Texas (swimming in the Gulf of Mexico). I guess there are some decisions that nobody can help you with. The comment thread is full of people trying though. They’re mostly offering spectacularly generic advice about “being yourself”. Good call.
And then there’s this.
You are lucky in that you can leave the UK and escape the opressive tyranny that is the EU. The rest of us are stuck here. Believe me, your ‘get ouf jail free’ card is well worth it. If it was up to me, I would out of here before it is too late. The comparisons with the Soviet Union are very real. Keep your eyes and ears open and be ready to move.
Anthony Farrar
I love these ones. Anthony is a short step away from turning into my absolute favourite kind of long-suffering, middle class twat by proclaiming that he’s “ready to fight”. The only thing these fat-fingered gits are likely to end up fighting over is a fucking parking space.
86 comments speak your brane
Permanently Bewildered14 Sep 2009 09:22 am
Wise Men
By Nelson
From the (largely quite pleasant) thread on Alan Turing’s posthumous pardon. Good old Alan.
I think it absurd to appologise for the past, especially the distant past. We learn from the past, but we can not be held collectively responsible for it. The responsibilty for the actions of those who have gone before us lay with them, not us. Also you cannot judge those who have gone before us by todays standards or criteria.
Gerard Dilworth, Stratford upon Avon, United Kingdom
Indeed. As I keep pointing out to the missus, her entire gender has only been clever enough to vote since the 1920s, whereas men have been doing important stuff for centuries. We need to respect those wise men of the past. Except the gay ones.
72 comments speak your brane
Hypocrites and Racists11 Sep 2009 02:35 pm
Sarcasm and Irony for Beginners
By Alex
You know what, we’ve not had an good old straight-up racist fucknut-magnet thread for a while. Should the EU welcome more refugees? One of the more unorthodox answers comes from Glen Thomas, who I assume is transforming into some kind of white supremacist werewolf.
AAAARRRRGGGHHHH NNNOOOOOO!!!!
Glen Thomas
But rather than just roar, some HYSers have decided to use this topic to try out their dry, cutting wit, and that’s what we’re going to be learning about today.
What an absolutely splendid idea. Cut the number of illegal immigrants by allowing them to come over legally.
Could we please extend this to other crimes. The murder rate would be cut drastically if we made it legal to kill and the number of thefts slashed if we made it legal to help yourself to other peoples property.
Phil, Liverpool
You’ve made a bit of a mistake here Phil. You’ve gone and opened your sarcastic tirade with a very reasonable idea, one that we already do anyway by allowing any immigration at all. Then you’ve made a massive jump to something completely different. Doing that doesn’t make the idea look stupid, it makes you look stupid, and that’s not what you want from sarcasm. Let an expert show you: I see where you’re going with this. While we’re at it, let’s eradicate a terrible disease by cutting the cancer quota to zero and bring in an Australian-style points system for rape.
See? Much better. You could also try something like this, if you don’t mind being a cunt.
”They often rely on human traffickers and risk their lives as they try to enter the EU on rickety boats.”
Oh, my heart bleeds for them, sniff…
peter paxton
Some competent sarcasm there. But what a cunt. Somehow though, straight insults aren’t enough for me. I wanted to work out exactly how one achieves such world-beating sarky cuntishness, and I think I’ve got it. These two actually think immigration is a crime. Not just illegal immigration, all of it. They actually think that what basically amounts to moving house is a heinous act in and of itself. All that stuff about visas is just the government going a bit soft. From that viewpoint, there’s a delicious irony to immigrants drowning on their way to Europe. Poetic justice! You wanted to flood our green and pleasant land with yourselves, but now it is your own lungs which are flooding! Hoist by your own petard! Live by the boat, die by the boat! Peter Paxton, you’ve passed both sarcasm and irony with flying colours, simply by failing as a human being. You cunt.
Unfortunately these next two weren’t up to sarcasm and could only manage unintentional irony:
Right now, people all over Europe are remembering the 70th. Anniversary of the outbreak of WW2 – a monumental struggle to free Europe (and elsewhere) from the yoke of unbearable tyranny. And now along comes the “EU” with this notion.
Remind me – what did so many die in WW2 for?
The “EU” must be stopped. Now. No ifs, buts nor maybes. Abolished. Thrown into the dustbin of History. Period.
[NewsMonitor]
You’ve got to admit he does it well though. I can’t help but admire anyone who can wax lyrical about how noble it was of us to fight Hitler and then call an ineffective trading bureaucracy that lets people flee to Britain “unbearable tyranny”. It just goes to show, nothing helps you with unintentional irony like having absolutely no sense of perspective whatsoever. Though he’ll never quite be the mack daddy of the discipline:
No, the UK should not welcome more refugees.
Queue the swivel eyed leftys and their personal attacks, devoid of an argument.
g mitchell, kent
Good point. An internet discussion forum is no place for unjustified assertions, straw-man arguments and hypocritical ad hominem attacks.
74 comments speak your brane
Credulous Nincompoops and Unfocused Rage09 Sep 2009 01:31 pm
gold-plated pensions
By Alex
Thanks to Alan for pointing me at the thread on state pensions rising to seventy.
UNLESS YOUR A PUBLIC SERVANT, then its somewhere around 52 with FULL GOLD PLATED PENSION paid for by the tax from my state pension and savings…SHOCKING!
MPS, COUNCILORS, TEACHERS, POLICE, FIRE, etc…all should work until the same age…if they can’t work in the front line then they should be forced to do voluntary or desk jobs to earn their GOLD PLATED PENSIONS
MillerMan UKIP, Staford, United Kingdom
I’m sorry MillerMan UKIP, I can’t quite follow your point exactly. Could you highlight the key words, maybe in bold or underlined, just to make it a bit clearer to the layman?
Why do you think that the elderly will not be getting the swine flue vaccination this is the governments hope that they all die off so they can save on their pensions and othe social security benifits thereby saving the treasury money. Back in the 60’s they used to secretly spray the population with biological germs just to test how they would work out in a crowded environment as I do not trust the government whats to say they have not created this one to save the treasury money on pensions
[johnilmalin1], Edinburgh, United Kingdom
And as we’ve seen before, it’s the public sector which costs the most on pensions. Don’t be surprised if the government tries to infect the NHS by directing sufferers to hospitals and doctors’ surgeries.
I’ll give the last word to Alan though, as it’s genius and made me wee myself a bit: John has not made it entirely clear whether ’swine flue’ is a biological, non-bio or coloursafe germ.
144 comments speak your brane
Armchair Generals and The Regular Twats08 Sep 2009 09:25 am
Massive Horny War
By Nelson
Something about war.
“Declaration of war by Great Britain was not followed up with any military actions against Germany. Poland was abandoned by its allies…Why do we always say that Great Britain declared the war on Germany if it sat still and did not help its friend?
Marcin, Hartford, CT”
The fact is, we could not defend Poland as it was too far away, across hostile territory and we didn’t have the means. If wishes were horses, eh?
potato lord, cardiff
You’d have shit horses.
Germany was victorious in the war declared by Britain because she inflicted more harm compared to what she incurred.
wodgot, uk
Britain lost 400,000 in WW2. Germany lost between 6-8 million. The famous Luftwaffe raid on Coventry killed 800. At Hamburg the RAF killed 40,000 and at Dresden possibly 100,000. By the end of the war every major German city was reduced to cinders and their country occupied for 50 years. Germany lost very badly indeed.
[Peter_Sym], Nottingham
I made you a t-shirt.
177 comments speak your brane
Hypocrites and Outsiders03 Sep 2009 09:02 am
If You Can’t Say Anything Nice About Somebody, It’s Probably Melanie Phillips
By Nelson
The Daily Mail and its shitting bumwank of comment monkeys are all angry and confused again. This time it’s because Stewart Lee has done some very naughty material about Richard Hammond and his car crash.
I’m fairly convinced it’s the Daily Mail readers who are responsible for all those HYS comments that can’t distinguish between art and reality, whether that’s films, books, TV or comedy. No wonder it’s a bit light on culture. They probably get halfway through a play before running, screaming, to the nearest police station to breathlessly report that some Danish immigrant just knifecrimed Ophelia’s dad through a curtain.
Thanks to Rob for finding Lizzy here, merrily blathering away with so little self-awareness you wonder whether she was actually awake when she typed it.
I always follow this golden rule:
“If you can’t say something nice about somebody, don’t say anything at all.”
Thank goodness I’ve never seen this excuse for a human being – and, in future, I will go out of my way to miss him.
I hope his career goes straight down the toilet.
- Lizzy, W.London, 30/8/2009 3:04
“A” for effort, Lizzy. That was the best you could do.
I’ve not heard Stewart Lee’s current show so I don’t know what he was on about. I suspect he was either making a point about something, being very funny about something or, quite likely, both. I’m not sure how much I can be arsed to wish car crashes on Richard Hammond but I’m sure that I don’t subscribe to the idea proposed by the Daily Mail’s “readers” that Hammond’s car crash is something you “wouldn’t wish on anyone”. I don’t think there’s really anything in that category to be honest. Just try and think of something that you wouldn’t wish on anyone. Got it? Right, now imagine it happening to, say, Richard fucking Perle or Tony shitting Blair? Suddenly it’s ok isn’t it? In fact, I think I’ve mentioned before that I’d like people to stop using the phrase “I wouldn’t wish that on anyone” and replace it with the phrase “I wouldn’t wish that on anyone except Melanie Phillips” e.g.
A: Apparently, there’s a tropical disease that makes your nose go all flaky and drop off and then, where your nose used to be, you grow a little, poorly cock instead! Look, I found a picture of it on the fucking internet.
B: Urgh. I just sicked up in my mouth a little bit. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone except Melanie Phillips. I hope her nose falls off and then she grows a little, poorly cock there instead. A cock like a horrible toe.
389 comments speak your brane
Curtain Twitchers and Outsiders and Racists02 Sep 2009 01:15 pm
Itsy-Bitsy Teeny-Weeny Covert Terror Plot Bikini
By Alex
The Burkini. Half veil, half Victorian swimming costume. Seems a little silly, doesn’t it, especially if you give it an amusing name like that. Not so. It is in fact a very serious matter because blah blah Eurabia blah blah eroding our Western culture yadda yadda yadda Islamism. Now you would have thought the previous statement was the stupidest thing you could possibly say on the subject, but that’s not what right-wing blogs are for. It’s just a benchmark for the comments that follow it, so they know the absolute minimum level of angry idiocy they need to attain.
The burka and burkini have very little to do with religion or custom, and everything to do with a form of self inflicted apartheid, and a rejection of the culture and customs of the host nation. I have at times witnessed more women wearing burkas in Wathamstow Market, in East London, than would normally be seen in Lahore. I am unaware of the plural for several burka wearers, but a murder of crows always comes to mind.
Toboo
This is a nice example of why you get a better class of cunt on the Telegraph. Background facts: the plural of burkha wearer is in fact ‘burkha wearers’, and collective nouns are a long, pointless list of words you’ll never actually use in a sentence and the most smug, tedious and unfunny substitute for wit and eloquence the English language has to offer. By the way, did you know that the collective noun for people who comment on news sites is a “shitting bumwank” as in “Have you seen the massive shitting bumwank of racists on the Telegraph site today?”.
I saw a woman at my gym in California come into the pool area wearing one of these recently. YOu should have seen the looks she was getting.
I hate to say it, but these people are manifesting themselves en mass even out here in California now. I thought and hoped that I’dleft it all far behind in London, but no. It’s like a disease.
20 years ago, you couldn’t buy a curry in San Francisco, now there’s a pakistani place on most streets. They don’t waste time. Nightmare.
debunker
You couldn’t buy ipods 20 years ago either. Or Casablanca Special Edition DVD Boxed Sets. In fact, the more things I think of, the more scared I get. You might just have to emigrate again. In fact, if I were you, I’d move to Antarctica, cut yourself off from the world and internet and just sit, surrounded by leg-warmers, rubix cubes and Cindi Lauper tapes, pretending Charles and Di are still married.
debunker – you are so right. I was in JC Penney in Long Beach a couple of years ago, and found some muzzie bint praying to Mecca in the Men’s Levis section. I was so enraged I told her to get herself out in the parking lot if she was going to behave like some alien, and stop offending my Christian (ha-ha) principles. She gathered the hem of her sack and beat it.
They must be stopped.
45govt
You’ve done something very stupid here, 45govt. You see, if you actually type “ha-ha”, even in brackets, people will get the impression you’re joking and don’t really have Christian principles. Then we’ll naturally assume you’re only pretending to be religious as a pretext to bully brown people. Which we all know is true, but the point of pretexts is you have to keep them secret. The best thing to do is probably to spend ten minutes every morning standing in front of the mirror saying “It’s not about race, it’s about defending our culture from a backward, medieval religion”. If you can do that ten times in a row without winking, laughing sarcastically or shouting “NOT!” at the end, the BNP might finally accept your membership.
63 comments speak your brane
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“If you love Women so much..
why don’t you go live there?”Miscellaneous Prats23 Sep 2009 03:18 pm
Pre-Prepared Comedy Answers
By Alex
Where now for the Sugababes?
They should get Lemmie from Mortorhead in the line up , now he would make it interesting. With his music writing abilities , years of experience in the industry, could teach them how to live rock n roll & do it For real !! They could change the band name to Sugg’a Daddy then ?? Least the music might sound better. Maybe their ace of hearts would compliment his ace O’ spades ??
Now that wud be sweet !!
Simon Joe Brown, Pontefract, United Kingdom
I look forward to hearing your views on the future of the Church of England.
54 comments hide
54 Responses to “Pre-Prepared Comedy Answers”
on 23 Sep 2009 at 3:21 pm first
Get in
on 23 Sep 2009 at 3:30 pm That Bloke in the Corner
blah?blah blah? woohoo blah barble back blah normal baa?
on 23 Sep 2009 at 3:31 pm Alex
blahdy’blahdy baa blah blahdy blarb blahdy barble.
on 23 Sep 2009 at 3:32 pm That Bloke in the Corner
blahdy blah barble was blah too blahdy barble blah blah blahdy blah blahdy
on 23 Sep 2009 at 3:34 pm That Bloke in the Corner
Well barble blahdy blahdy compliments blah
on 23 Sep 2009 at 3:47 pm The blah filter has infected my brain! Everything I say comes out blah except names! I’ve named my dog every word in the dictonary to get around it, but it’s still a pain in the aardvark.
I touch children.
on 23 Sep 2009 at 3:49 pm I bum foxes ror real, now vote for the Real British National Party who will ban the Sugerbabes for being too PC.
blahdy’blahdy blahdy my blahdy blog you know.
on 23 Sep 2009 at 3:53 pm pigfrottage – I go away for 2 weeks and now look what you’ve done
I blah baa are blahing warble purpose.
on 23 Sep 2009 at 4:18 pm shitferbrains
blahdy blah blah warble blah blahdy
on 23 Sep 2009 at 5:22 pm nicktionary
wait what! there’s blah blah baa!
on 23 Sep 2009 at 5:45 pm alex, quickly nelson’s away, deactivate the blah filter.
I touch children.
on 23 Sep 2009 at 5:55 pm If you are going to vote BNP, then say Blah, If you are going to vote BNP, then say Blah, If you are going to vote BNP, then say Blah, If you are going to vote BNP, going to vote BNP, going to vote BNP then say BLAH!
Quit the Blah filter Alex!
on 23 Sep 2009 at 6:10 pm I’ve had enough of all three main parties. I’m voting UKIP or BNP next time.
UKIP or BNP
on 23 Sep 2009 at 6:15 pm Time has come to anhiliate pakistan and Iran from the map of the world… the muslims need to be punished…they have lost their license to live
Useless eaters muslims
on 23 Sep 2009 at 6:46 pm It is now time to vote BNP for one reason alone, it needs a party that will put the British people first and get rid of all the trash we have harboured due to the mis-management of our country by the two main parties.
blah the party of the blah barble the blah.
on 23 Sep 2009 at 7:27 pm Topsy Turvey…….. It’s official, Hys 1 SYB 0, no more piss taking comments now from the Lefty PC losers.
WE WON
on 23 Sep 2009 at 7:45 pm I am a member of the BNP but I am not racist just one of the many who want homes, jobs, healthcare etc firstly for my family and children and only if there’s anything left in the “kitty” for the endless stream of illegal immigrants who are floodiing into
blahdy blah blahdy baa blahdy blah blah blahdy blah blahdy blah barble blahdy blah blah baa are blahdy blah warble blahdy blahdy blah blahdy warble blah blah barble blarb blah blah blah blah baa blah blahdy barble blahdy baa blah blah blah blarb blah blah baa blah of blarb blah baa blahdy blah blah barble warble blah blah blah blahdy blah.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 12:01 am “It was like being on Mars,” she told the BBC, “I haven’t been there, obviously, but I imagine that’s what the sky would look like.” Fucking brilliant. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/8270104.stm
blarb’blarb got blah own blahdy blah blah.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 1:44 am BNP ROOLZ. ALSO, THIS IS THE ONLY PLACE ON THE INTERNET WERE PEEPLE TAKE THE PISS OUT OF THE BNP. BRITISH NASHONLISM OKAY.
baa’baa a thick cunt.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 3:14 am i prefer warble to blah – but then a warble wouldn’t be as good if it weren’t surrounded by blahs
warble warble
on 24 Sep 2009 at 3:19 am JOHN ADAIR ISN’T A PAEDOPHILE. JUST SAYING.
Just sayin’!
on 24 Sep 2009 at 9:16 am Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity
Newsniffer wisdom
on 24 Sep 2009 at 10:17 am Rube
Lemmie touched my bum.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 10:27 am I listened carefully to what Lord Adair said on the TV this morning and I concluded he is either a blatant liar or seriously deluded and Naieve.I might send Lord Adair a copy of Das Kapital because he obviously hasn’t read it or he would realise the funda
blah blahdy baa barble blahdy blah blarb now it hurts.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 10:51 am They control the masses and their in no country immune. At one time it was just a thought now it is thought and it has become the salt of indisputable understandings. We are a mass of impulses and to actuate it outside of another exists.
HYS blarbellings
on 24 Sep 2009 at 11:08 am Wheres Neil Craig when you want him most?
blahdy blah blah blah warble hard and baa blah hurts.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 11:38 am i’m wanking as I type this
flaps
on 24 Sep 2009 at 12:35 pm this blah filter kills fascists
I’d baa vote warble blarb blahdy barble’barble blah blah Nick Griffin.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 1:32 pm I didn’t know I had to have a licence to live. Do I get one at the post office?
I barble warble blahdy this were blah.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 1:34 pm So I put me foot through me router – and sent NELSON the bill.
I touch children.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 1:42 pm They’ll get bored soon
blahdy’blahdy be back in two weeks.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 2:00 pm this blah filter kills fascists………Ehhh NO it does not, vote BNP and reclaim Engerland
BEE ENN BEE
on 24 Sep 2009 at 2:02 pm They’ll get bored soon NO WE WILL NOT NICK GRIFFIN FOR KING NEIL CRAIG FOR PM
England the GREEEAAAAT!
on 24 Sep 2009 at 3:22 pm sad
sad o
on 24 Sep 2009 at 3:28 pm 1984 returns for real…… Have Your Say have won, sad SYB losers
Losers
on 24 Sep 2009 at 3:34 pm Bee Enn Bee? Oh I Get it – British Nazi Bastards
Bastards
on 24 Sep 2009 at 4:04 pm on 24 Sep 2009 at 3:34 pm Bee Enn Bee? Oh I Get it – British Nazi Bastards…dO WE HAVE YOUR VOTE?
Another voter won
on 24 Sep 2009 at 4:06 pm Where did all the cunts suddenly appear from?
blah blah blah blah.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 4:23 pm In leading the World into a spending spree, we’ve gone from Great Britain to Grate Britain. This alleged Government is unforgiveable.
Cunts Blahdy Blah
on 24 Sep 2009 at 4:40 pm Thicks cunt’s don’t realise the comments aren’t the point of SYB. Thick fuckers actually think its some kind of alternative HYS, fucking funny really.
Blah Mugs Blah
on 24 Sep 2009 at 4:50 pm sticks, stones, broken bones – if you laugh at me i’ll put me boot in your gob!
blah blahdy and blah but blahdy barble blah
on 24 Sep 2009 at 5:44 pm SYB like to take the piss, but do not like it when HYS give it back. Schoolchildren!
warble baa at SYB
on 24 Sep 2009 at 5:50 pm Talk about getting off the point! However, if the BNP members are all racists presumably you will agree that the Islamic scum who want to behead us for being white are racists too – or is that not PC!
barble baa blahdy racist blarb blahdy who blahdy blah blah barble
on 24 Sep 2009 at 6:00 pm I love the way all the BNP-fellaters think that clogging up the comments section of a single website they’re not obliged to read counts as a victory for free speech.
Foxbumming is ace
on 24 Sep 2009 at 6:01 pm I also love the way they ham-fistedly try to dodge the point by mentioning Islam.
Puny trumps
on 24 Sep 2009 at 6:02 pm I even love the mention of ‘schoolchildren’ – because if there’s one thing which shows maturity, it’s having to have the last word – even on someone else’s website.
Jeff Goldblah
on 24 Sep 2009 at 6:07 pm ThoughtGrenade
blahdy don’t barble blah blahfilter thing
on 24 Sep 2009 at 6:13 pm ThoughtGrenade
WHOSE RESPONSIBLE blahdy BLAH blah?
on 24 Sep 2009 at 7:08 pm Rube
Lemmie bums foxes.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 7:20 pm Right, all you Liberals, OUTSIDE NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I touch children.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 7:50 pm Gordon brown would kick the living shit out of Nick Griffin
He blah’blah stand a blah the blarb blahdy blahdy.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 7:50 pm I wonder if all BNP members are merely dyslexic rather than just thick as shit
blah blah blardy blah
on 24 Sep 2009 at 9:44 pm I only hate one group of people: others
blahdy blahdy blah they blah blarb are blarb baa are blahdy all blah blah blah cunts blah blah cunts warble
on 24 Sep 2009 at 10:11 pm Can we also have Person A, Person B brought back, too? Pretty Please?
Wee Jimmy Krankie.
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Armchair Generals and Delusions of Grandeur and Permanently Bewildered18 Sep 2009 05:00 pm
Historian
By Nelson
Blah blah missile defence.
Those of you who bash the US constantly for being “warmongers” would be wise to remember the last two times our country was asked to step in a save your bacon. The kind of resentment seen from some in Europe resembles that of a spoiled child who hates Daddy, even though all the child has, in some way or another, he owes to Daddy’s sacrifices in the past. War is never going to end – it is an unfortunate part of human nature. So show some respect to those who have the power to rescue you…
Dave, Pittsburgh
Right, I’m off on holiday for a couple of weeks. Bye.
74 comments speak your brane
Permanently Bewildered17 Sep 2009 03:40 pm
Reynard The Fox-bummer
By Nelson
The Guardian is running a poll to find out who would be the nation’s favourite celebrity headteacher. David Tennant is winning at the mo.
Thanks to Jane for spotting “Reynardmandrake” taking the opportunity to Make A Point.
Don’t forget Christopher Eccleston – both he and David Tennant would make excellent teachers. I can see them now – teaching children how to think for themselves and to look at the mind as a growing thing – not as a receptacle for NuLabour philosophy.
The mind is “bigger on the inside than on the outside.”
Oh Yessssss!!!
reynardmandrake
Jane says “I like the Churchill quote at the end”.
44 comments speak your brane
Credulous Nincompoops and Curtain Twitchers15 Sep 2009 11:42 am
Git
By Nelson
Thanks to David for finding this one. It’s from a Times Online article about some ex-pat American bird’s struggle to decide whether her daughter should spend more time in the English countryside (feeding horses) or over in Texas (swimming in the Gulf of Mexico). I guess there are some decisions that nobody can help you with. The comment thread is full of people trying though. They’re mostly offering spectacularly generic advice about “being yourself”. Good call.
And then there’s this.
You are lucky in that you can leave the UK and escape the opressive tyranny that is the EU. The rest of us are stuck here. Believe me, your ‘get ouf jail free’ card is well worth it. If it was up to me, I would out of here before it is too late. The comparisons with the Soviet Union are very real. Keep your eyes and ears open and be ready to move.
Anthony Farrar
I love these ones. Anthony is a short step away from turning into my absolute favourite kind of long-suffering, middle class twat by proclaiming that he’s “ready to fight”. The only thing these fat-fingered gits are likely to end up fighting over is a fucking parking space.
86 comments speak your brane
Permanently Bewildered14 Sep 2009 09:22 am
Wise Men
By Nelson
From the (largely quite pleasant) thread on Alan Turing’s posthumous pardon. Good old Alan.
I think it absurd to appologise for the past, especially the distant past. We learn from the past, but we can not be held collectively responsible for it. The responsibilty for the actions of those who have gone before us lay with them, not us. Also you cannot judge those who have gone before us by todays standards or criteria.
Gerard Dilworth, Stratford upon Avon, United Kingdom
Indeed. As I keep pointing out to the missus, her entire gender has only been clever enough to vote since the 1920s, whereas men have been doing important stuff for centuries. We need to respect those wise men of the past. Except the gay ones.
72 comments speak your brane
Hypocrites and Racists11 Sep 2009 02:35 pm
Sarcasm and Irony for Beginners
By Alex
You know what, we’ve not had an good old straight-up racist fucknut-magnet thread for a while. Should the EU welcome more refugees? One of the more unorthodox answers comes from Glen Thomas, who I assume is transforming into some kind of white supremacist werewolf.
AAAARRRRGGGHHHH NNNOOOOOO!!!!
Glen Thomas
But rather than just roar, some HYSers have decided to use this topic to try out their dry, cutting wit, and that’s what we’re going to be learning about today.
What an absolutely splendid idea. Cut the number of illegal immigrants by allowing them to come over legally.
Could we please extend this to other crimes. The murder rate would be cut drastically if we made it legal to kill and the number of thefts slashed if we made it legal to help yourself to other peoples property.
Phil, Liverpool
You’ve made a bit of a mistake here Phil. You’ve gone and opened your sarcastic tirade with a very reasonable idea, one that we already do anyway by allowing any immigration at all. Then you’ve made a massive jump to something completely different. Doing that doesn’t make the idea look stupid, it makes you look stupid, and that’s not what you want from sarcasm. Let an expert show you: I see where you’re going with this. While we’re at it, let’s eradicate a terrible disease by cutting the cancer quota to zero and bring in an Australian-style points system for rape.
See? Much better. You could also try something like this, if you don’t mind being a cunt.
”They often rely on human traffickers and risk their lives as they try to enter the EU on rickety boats.”
Oh, my heart bleeds for them, sniff…
peter paxton
Some competent sarcasm there. But what a cunt. Somehow though, straight insults aren’t enough for me. I wanted to work out exactly how one achieves such world-beating sarky cuntishness, and I think I’ve got it. These two actually think immigration is a crime. Not just illegal immigration, all of it. They actually think that what basically amounts to moving house is a heinous act in and of itself. All that stuff about visas is just the government going a bit soft. From that viewpoint, there’s a delicious irony to immigrants drowning on their way to Europe. Poetic justice! You wanted to flood our green and pleasant land with yourselves, but now it is your own lungs which are flooding! Hoist by your own petard! Live by the boat, die by the boat! Peter Paxton, you’ve passed both sarcasm and irony with flying colours, simply by failing as a human being. You cunt.
Unfortunately these next two weren’t up to sarcasm and could only manage unintentional irony:
Right now, people all over Europe are remembering the 70th. Anniversary of the outbreak of WW2 – a monumental struggle to free Europe (and elsewhere) from the yoke of unbearable tyranny. And now along comes the “EU” with this notion.
Remind me – what did so many die in WW2 for?
The “EU” must be stopped. Now. No ifs, buts nor maybes. Abolished. Thrown into the dustbin of History. Period.
[NewsMonitor]
You’ve got to admit he does it well though. I can’t help but admire anyone who can wax lyrical about how noble it was of us to fight Hitler and then call an ineffective trading bureaucracy that lets people flee to Britain “unbearable tyranny”. It just goes to show, nothing helps you with unintentional irony like having absolutely no sense of perspective whatsoever. Though he’ll never quite be the mack daddy of the discipline:
No, the UK should not welcome more refugees.
Queue the swivel eyed leftys and their personal attacks, devoid of an argument.
g mitchell, kent
Good point. An internet discussion forum is no place for unjustified assertions, straw-man arguments and hypocritical ad hominem attacks.
74 comments speak your brane
Credulous Nincompoops and Unfocused Rage09 Sep 2009 01:31 pm
gold-plated pensions
By Alex
Thanks to Alan for pointing me at the thread on state pensions rising to seventy.
UNLESS YOUR A PUBLIC SERVANT, then its somewhere around 52 with FULL GOLD PLATED PENSION paid for by the tax from my state pension and savings…SHOCKING!
MPS, COUNCILORS, TEACHERS, POLICE, FIRE, etc…all should work until the same age…if they can’t work in the front line then they should be forced to do voluntary or desk jobs to earn their GOLD PLATED PENSIONS
MillerMan UKIP, Staford, United Kingdom
I’m sorry MillerMan UKIP, I can’t quite follow your point exactly. Could you highlight the key words, maybe in bold or underlined, just to make it a bit clearer to the layman?
Why do you think that the elderly will not be getting the swine flue vaccination this is the governments hope that they all die off so they can save on their pensions and othe social security benifits thereby saving the treasury money. Back in the 60’s they used to secretly spray the population with biological germs just to test how they would work out in a crowded environment as I do not trust the government whats to say they have not created this one to save the treasury money on pensions
[johnilmalin1], Edinburgh, United Kingdom
And as we’ve seen before, it’s the public sector which costs the most on pensions. Don’t be surprised if the government tries to infect the NHS by directing sufferers to hospitals and doctors’ surgeries.
I’ll give the last word to Alan though, as it’s genius and made me wee myself a bit: John has not made it entirely clear whether ’swine flue’ is a biological, non-bio or coloursafe germ.
144 comments speak your brane
Armchair Generals and The Regular Twats08 Sep 2009 09:25 am
Massive Horny War
By Nelson
Something about war.
“Declaration of war by Great Britain was not followed up with any military actions against Germany. Poland was abandoned by its allies…Why do we always say that Great Britain declared the war on Germany if it sat still and did not help its friend?
Marcin, Hartford, CT”
The fact is, we could not defend Poland as it was too far away, across hostile territory and we didn’t have the means. If wishes were horses, eh?
potato lord, cardiff
You’d have shit horses.
Germany was victorious in the war declared by Britain because she inflicted more harm compared to what she incurred.
wodgot, uk
Britain lost 400,000 in WW2. Germany lost between 6-8 million. The famous Luftwaffe raid on Coventry killed 800. At Hamburg the RAF killed 40,000 and at Dresden possibly 100,000. By the end of the war every major German city was reduced to cinders and their country occupied for 50 years. Germany lost very badly indeed.
[Peter_Sym], Nottingham
I made you a t-shirt.
177 comments speak your brane
Hypocrites and Outsiders03 Sep 2009 09:02 am
If You Can’t Say Anything Nice About Somebody, It’s Probably Melanie Phillips
By Nelson
The Daily Mail and its shitting bumwank of comment monkeys are all angry and confused again. This time it’s because Stewart Lee has done some very naughty material about Richard Hammond and his car crash.
I’m fairly convinced it’s the Daily Mail readers who are responsible for all those HYS comments
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“If you love Women so much..
why don’t you go live there?”Miscellaneous Prats23 Sep 2009 03:18 pm
Pre-Prepared Comedy Answers
By Alex
Where now for the Sugababes?
They should get Lemmie from Mortorhead in the line up , now he would make it interesting. With his music writing abilities , years of experience in the industry, could teach them how to live rock n roll & do it For real !! They could change the band name to Sugg’a Daddy then ?? Least the music might sound better. Maybe their ace of hearts would compliment his ace O’ spades ??
Now that wud be sweet !!
Simon Joe Brown, Pontefract, United Kingdom
I look forward to hearing your views on the future of the Church of England.
54 comments hide
54 Responses to “Pre-Prepared Comedy Answers”
on 23 Sep 2009 at 3:21 pm first
Get in
on 23 Sep 2009 at 3:30 pm That Bloke in the Corner
blah?blah blah? woohoo blah barble back blah normal baa?
on 23 Sep 2009 at 3:31 pm Alex
blahdy’blahdy baa blah blahdy blarb blahdy barble.
on 23 Sep 2009 at 3:32 pm That Bloke in the Corner
blahdy blah barble was blah too blahdy barble blah blah blahdy blah blahdy
on 23 Sep 2009 at 3:34 pm That Bloke in the Corner
Well barble blahdy blahdy compliments blah
on 23 Sep 2009 at 3:47 pm The blah filter has infected my brain! Everything I say comes out blah except names! I’ve named my dog every word in the dictonary to get around it, but it’s still a pain in the aardvark.
I touch children.
on 23 Sep 2009 at 3:49 pm I bum foxes ror real, now vote for the Real British National Party who will ban the Sugerbabes for being too PC.
blahdy’blahdy blahdy my blahdy blog you know.
on 23 Sep 2009 at 3:53 pm pigfrottage – I go away for 2 weeks and now look what you’ve done
I blah baa are blahing warble purpose.
on 23 Sep 2009 at 4:18 pm shitferbrains
blahdy blah blah warble blah blahdy
on 23 Sep 2009 at 5:22 pm nicktionary
wait what! there’s blah blah baa!
on 23 Sep 2009 at 5:45 pm alex, quickly nelson’s away, deactivate the blah filter.
I touch children.
on 23 Sep 2009 at 5:55 pm If you are going to vote BNP, then say Blah, If you are going to vote BNP, then say Blah, If you are going to vote BNP, then say Blah, If you are going to vote BNP, going to vote BNP, going to vote BNP then say BLAH!
Quit the Blah filter Alex!
on 23 Sep 2009 at 6:10 pm I’ve had enough of all three main parties. I’m voting UKIP or BNP next time.
UKIP or BNP
on 23 Sep 2009 at 6:15 pm Time has come to anhiliate pakistan and Iran from the map of the world… the muslims need to be punished…they have lost their license to live
Useless eaters muslims
on 23 Sep 2009 at 6:46 pm It is now time to vote BNP for one reason alone, it needs a party that will put the British people first and get rid of all the trash we have harboured due to the mis-management of our country by the two main parties.
blah the party of the blah barble the blah.
on 23 Sep 2009 at 7:27 pm Topsy Turvey…….. It’s official, Hys 1 SYB 0, no more piss taking comments now from the Lefty PC losers.
WE WON
on 23 Sep 2009 at 7:45 pm I am a member of the BNP but I am not racist just one of the many who want homes, jobs, healthcare etc firstly for my family and children and only if there’s anything left in the “kitty” for the endless stream of illegal immigrants who are floodiing into
blahdy blah blahdy baa blahdy blah blah blahdy blah blahdy blah barble blahdy blah blah baa are blahdy blah warble blahdy blahdy blah blahdy warble blah blah barble blarb blah blah blah blah baa blah blahdy barble blahdy baa blah blah blah blarb blah blah baa blah of blarb blah baa blahdy blah blah barble warble blah blah blah blahdy blah.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 12:01 am “It was like being on Mars,” she told the BBC, “I haven’t been there, obviously, but I imagine that’s what the sky would look like.” Fucking brilliant. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/8270104.stm
blarb’blarb got blah own blahdy blah blah.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 1:44 am BNP ROOLZ. ALSO, THIS IS THE ONLY PLACE ON THE INTERNET WERE PEEPLE TAKE THE PISS OUT OF THE BNP. BRITISH NASHONLISM OKAY.
baa’baa a thick cunt.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 3:14 am i prefer warble to blah – but then a warble wouldn’t be as good if it weren’t surrounded by blahs
warble warble
on 24 Sep 2009 at 3:19 am JOHN ADAIR ISN’T A PAEDOPHILE. JUST SAYING.
Just sayin’!
on 24 Sep 2009 at 9:16 am Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity
Newsniffer wisdom
on 24 Sep 2009 at 10:17 am Rube
Lemmie touched my bum.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 10:27 am I listened carefully to what Lord Adair said on the TV this morning and I concluded he is either a blatant liar or seriously deluded and Naieve.I might send Lord Adair a copy of Das Kapital because he obviously hasn’t read it or he would realise the funda
blah blahdy baa barble blahdy blah blarb now it hurts.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 10:51 am They control the masses and their in no country immune. At one time it was just a thought now it is thought and it has become the salt of indisputable understandings. We are a mass of impulses and to actuate it outside of another exists.
HYS blarbellings
on 24 Sep 2009 at 11:08 am Wheres Neil Craig when you want him most?
blahdy blah blah blah warble hard and baa blah hurts.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 11:38 am i’m wanking as I type this
flaps
on 24 Sep 2009 at 12:35 pm this blah filter kills fascists
I’d baa vote warble blarb blahdy barble’barble blah blah Nick Griffin.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 1:32 pm I didn’t know I had to have a licence to live. Do I get one at the post office?
I barble warble blahdy this were blah.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 1:34 pm So I put me foot through me router – and sent NELSON the bill.
I touch children.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 1:42 pm They’ll get bored soon
blahdy’blahdy be back in two weeks.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 2:00 pm this blah filter kills fascists………Ehhh NO it does not, vote BNP and reclaim Engerland
BEE ENN BEE
on 24 Sep 2009 at 2:02 pm They’ll get bored soon NO WE WILL NOT NICK GRIFFIN FOR KING NEIL CRAIG FOR PM
England the GREEEAAAAT!
on 24 Sep 2009 at 3:22 pm sad
sad o
on 24 Sep 2009 at 3:28 pm 1984 returns for real…… Have Your Say have won, sad SYB losers
Losers
on 24 Sep 2009 at 3:34 pm Bee Enn Bee? Oh I Get it – British Nazi Bastards
Bastards
on 24 Sep 2009 at 4:04 pm on 24 Sep 2009 at 3:34 pm Bee Enn Bee? Oh I Get it – British Nazi Bastards…dO WE HAVE YOUR VOTE?
Another voter won
on 24 Sep 2009 at 4:06 pm Where did all the cunts suddenly appear from?
blah blah blah blah.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 4:23 pm In leading the World into a spending spree, we’ve gone from Great Britain to Grate Britain. This alleged Government is unforgiveable.
Cunts Blahdy Blah
on 24 Sep 2009 at 4:40 pm Thicks cunt’s don’t realise the comments aren’t the point of SYB. Thick fuckers actually think its some kind of alternative HYS, fucking funny really.
Blah Mugs Blah
on 24 Sep 2009 at 4:50 pm sticks, stones, broken bones – if you laugh at me i’ll put me boot in your gob!
blah blahdy and blah but blahdy barble blah
on 24 Sep 2009 at 5:44 pm SYB like to take the piss, but do not like it when HYS give it back. Schoolchildren!
warble baa at SYB
on 24 Sep 2009 at 5:50 pm Talk about getting off the point! However, if the BNP members are all racists presumably you will agree that the Islamic scum who want to behead us for being white are racists too – or is that not PC!
barble baa blahdy racist blarb blahdy who blahdy blah blah barble
on 24 Sep 2009 at 6:00 pm I love the way all the BNP-fellaters think that clogging up the comments section of a single website they’re not obliged to read counts as a victory for free speech.
Foxbumming is ace
on 24 Sep 2009 at 6:01 pm I also love the way they ham-fistedly try to dodge the point by mentioning Islam.
Puny trumps
on 24 Sep 2009 at 6:02 pm I even love the mention of ‘schoolchildren’ – because if there’s one thing which shows maturity, it’s having to have the last word – even on someone else’s website.
Jeff Goldblah
on 24 Sep 2009 at 6:07 pm ThoughtGrenade
blahdy don’t barble blah blahfilter thing
on 24 Sep 2009 at 6:13 pm ThoughtGrenade
WHOSE RESPONSIBLE blahdy BLAH blah?
on 24 Sep 2009 at 7:08 pm Rube
Lemmie bums foxes.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 7:20 pm Right, all you Liberals, OUTSIDE NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I touch children.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 7:50 pm Gordon brown would kick the living shit out of Nick Griffin
He blah’blah stand a blah the blarb blahdy blahdy.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 7:50 pm I wonder if all BNP members are merely dyslexic rather than just thick as shit
blah blah blardy blah
on 24 Sep 2009 at 9:44 pm I only hate one group of people: others
blahdy blahdy blah they blah blarb are blarb baa are blahdy all blah blah blah cunts blah blah cunts warble
on 24 Sep 2009 at 10:11 pm Can we also have Person A, Person B brought back, too? Pretty Please?
Wee Jimmy Krankie.
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Armchair Generals and Delusions of Grandeur and Permanently Bewildered18 Sep 2009 05:00 pm
Historian
By Nelson
Blah blah missile defence.
Those of you who bash the US constantly for being “warmongers” would be wise to remember the last two times our country was asked to step in a save your bacon. The kind of resentment seen from some in Europe resembles that of a spoiled child who hates Daddy, even though all the child has, in some way or another, he owes to Daddy’s sacrifices in the past. War is never going to end – it is an unfortunate part of human nature. So show some respect to those who have the power to rescue you…
Dave, Pittsburgh
Right, I’m off on holiday for a couple of weeks. Bye.
74 comments speak your brane
Permanently Bewildered17 Sep 2009 03:40 pm
Reynard The Fox-bummer
By Nelson
The Guardian is running a poll to find out who would be the nation’s favourite celebrity headteacher. David Tennant is winning at the mo.
Thanks to Jane for spotting “Reynardmandrake” taking the opportunity to Make A Point.
Don’t forget Christopher Eccleston – both he and David Tennant would make excellent teachers. I can see them now – teaching children how to think for themselves and to look at the mind as a growing thing – not as a receptacle for NuLabour philosophy.
The mind is “bigger on the inside than on the outside.”
Oh Yessssss!!!
reynardmandrake
Jane says “I like the Churchill quote at the end”.
44 comments speak your brane
Credulous Nincompoops and Curtain Twitchers15 Sep 2009 11:42 am
Git
By Nelson
Thanks to David for finding this one. It’s from a Times Online article about some ex-pat American bird’s struggle to decide whether her daughter should spend more time in the English countryside (feeding horses) or over in Texas (swimming in the Gulf of Mexico). I guess there are some decisions that nobody can help you with. The comment thread is full of people trying though. They’re mostly offering spectacularly generic advice about “being yourself”. Good call.
And then there’s this.
You are lucky in that you can leave the UK and escape the opressive tyranny that is the EU. The rest of us are stuck here. Believe me, your ‘get ouf jail free’ card is well worth it. If it was up to me, I would out of here before it is too late. The comparisons with the Soviet Union are very real. Keep your eyes and ears open and be ready to move.
Anthony Farrar
I love these ones. Anthony is a short step away from turning into my absolute favourite kind of long-suffering, middle class twat by proclaiming that he’s “ready to fight”. The only thing these fat-fingered gits are likely to end up fighting over is a fucking parking space.
86 comments speak your brane
Permanently Bewildered14 Sep 2009 09:22 am
Wise Men
By Nelson
From the (largely quite pleasant) thread on Alan Turing’s posthumous pardon. Good old Alan.
I think it absurd to appologise for the past, especially the distant past. We learn from the past, but we can not be held collectively responsible for it. The responsibilty for the actions of those who have gone before us lay with them, not us. Also you cannot judge those who have gone before us by todays standards or criteria.
Gerard Dilworth, Stratford upon Avon, United Kingdom
Indeed. As I keep pointing out to the missus, her entire gender has only been clever enough to vote since the 1920s, whereas men have been doing important stuff for centuries. We need to respect those wise men of the past. Except the gay ones.
72 comments speak your brane
Hypocrites and Racists11 Sep 2009 02:35 pm
Sarcasm and Irony for Beginners
By Alex
You know what, we’ve not had an good old straight-up racist fucknut-magnet thread for a while. Should the EU welcome more refugees? One of the more unorthodox answers comes from Glen Thomas, who I assume is transforming into some kind of white supremacist werewolf.
AAAARRRRGGGHHHH NNNOOOOOO!!!!
Glen Thomas
But rather than just roar, some HYSers have decided to use this topic to try out their dry, cutting wit, and that’s what we’re going to be learning about today.
What an absolutely splendid idea. Cut the number of illegal immigrants by allowing them to come over legally.
Could we please extend this to other crimes. The murder rate would be cut drastically if we made it legal to kill and the number of thefts slashed if we made it legal to help yourself to other peoples property.
Phil, Liverpool
You’ve made a bit of a mistake here Phil. You’ve gone and opened your sarcastic tirade with a very reasonable idea, one that we already do anyway by allowing any immigration at all. Then you’ve made a massive jump to something completely different. Doing that doesn’t make the idea look stupid, it makes you look stupid, and that’s not what you want from sarcasm. Let an expert show you: I see where you’re going with this. While we’re at it, let’s eradicate a terrible disease by cutting the cancer quota to zero and bring in an Australian-style points system for rape.
See? Much better. You could also try something like this, if you don’t mind being a cunt.
”They often rely on human traffickers and risk their lives as they try to enter the EU on rickety boats.”
Oh, my heart bleeds for them, sniff…
peter paxton
Some competent sarcasm there. But what a cunt. Somehow though, straight insults aren’t enough for me. I wanted to work out exactly how one achieves such world-beating sarky cuntishness, and I think I’ve got it. These two actually think immigration is a crime. Not just illegal immigration, all of it. They actually think that what basically amounts to moving house is a heinous act in and of itself. All that stuff about visas is just the government going a bit soft. From that viewpoint, there’s a delicious irony to immigrants drowning on their way to Europe. Poetic justice! You wanted to flood our green and pleasant land with yourselves, but now it is your own lungs which are flooding! Hoist by your own petard! Live by the boat, die by the boat! Peter Paxton, you’ve passed both sarcasm and irony with flying colours, simply by failing as a human being. You cunt.
Unfortunately these next two weren’t up to sarcasm and could only manage unintentional irony:
Right now, people all over Europe are remembering the 70th. Anniversary of the outbreak of WW2 – a monumental struggle to free Europe (and elsewhere) from the yoke of unbearable tyranny. And now along comes the “EU” with this notion.
Remind me – what did so many die in WW2 for?
The “EU” must be stopped. Now. No ifs, buts nor maybes. Abolished. Thrown into the dustbin of History. Period.
[NewsMonitor]
You’ve got to admit he does it well though. I can’t help but admire anyone who can wax lyrical about how noble it was of us to fight Hitler and then call an ineffective trading bureaucracy that lets people flee to Britain “unbearable tyranny”. It just goes to show, nothing helps you with unintentional irony like having absolutely no sense of perspective whatsoever. Though he’ll never quite be the mack daddy of the discipline:
No, the UK should not welcome more refugees.
Queue the swivel eyed leftys and their personal attacks, devoid of an argument.
g mitchell, kent
Good point. An internet discussion forum is no place for unjustified assertions, straw-man arguments and hypocritical ad hominem attacks.
74 comments speak your brane
Credulous Nincompoops and Unfocused Rage09 Sep 2009 01:31 pm
gold-plated pensions
By Alex
Thanks to Alan for pointing me at the thread on state pensions rising to seventy.
UNLESS YOUR A PUBLIC SERVANT, then its somewhere around 52 with FULL GOLD PLATED PENSION paid for by the tax from my state pension and savings…SHOCKING!
MPS, COUNCILORS, TEACHERS, POLICE, FIRE, etc…all should work until the same age…if they can’t work in the front line then they should be forced to do voluntary or desk jobs to earn their GOLD PLATED PENSIONS
MillerMan UKIP, Staford, United Kingdom
I’m sorry MillerMan UKIP, I can’t quite follow your point exactly. Could you highlight the key words, maybe in bold or underlined, just to make it a bit clearer to the layman?
Why do you think that the elderly will not be getting the swine flue vaccination this is the governments hope that they all die off so they can save on their pensions and othe social security benifits thereby saving the treasury money. Back in the 60’s they used to secretly spray the population with biological germs just to test how they would work out in a crowded environment as I do not trust the government whats to say they have not created this one to save the treasury money on pensions
[johnilmalin1], Edinburgh, United Kingdom
And as we’ve seen before, it’s the public sector which costs the most on pensions. Don’t be surprised if the government tries to infect the NHS by directing sufferers to hospitals and doctors’ surgeries.
I’ll give the last word to Alan though, as it’s genius and made me wee myself a bit: John has not made it entirely clear whether ’swine flue’ is a biological, non-bio or coloursafe germ.
144 comments speak your brane
Armchair Generals and The Regular Twats08 Sep 2009 09:25 am
Massive Horny War
By Nelson
Something about war.
“Declaration of war by Great Britain was not followed up with any military actions against Germany. Poland was abandoned by its allies…Why do we always say that Great Britain declared the war on Germany if it sat still and did not help its friend?
Marcin, Hartford, CT”
The fact is, we could not defend Poland as it was too far away, across hostile territory and we didn’t have the means. If wishes were horses, eh?
potato lord, cardiff
You’d have shit horses.
Germany was victorious in the war declared by Britain because she inflicted more harm compared to what she incurred.
wodgot, uk
Britain lost 400,000 in WW2. Germany lost between 6-8 million. The famous Luftwaffe raid on Coventry killed 800. At Hamburg the RAF killed 40,000 and at Dresden possibly 100,000. By the end of the war every major German city was reduced to cinders and their country occupied for 50 years. Germany lost very badly indeed.
[Peter_Sym], Nottingham
I made you a t-shirt.
177 comments speak your brane
Hypocrites and Outsiders03 Sep 2009 09:02 am
If You Can’t Say Anything Nice About Somebody, It’s Probably Melanie Phillips
By Nelson
The Daily Mail and its shitting bumwank of comment monkeys are all angry and confused again. This time it’s because Stewart Lee has done some very naughty material about Richard Hammond and his car crash.
I’m fairly convinced it’s the Daily Mail readers who are responsible for all those HYS comments that can’t distinguish between art and reality, whether that’s films, books, TV or comedy. No wonder it’s a bit light on culture. They probably get halfway through a play before running, screaming, to the nearest police station to breathlessly report that some Danish immigrant just knifecrimed Ophelia’s dad through a curtain.
Thanks to Rob for finding Lizzy here, merrily blathering away with so little self-awareness you wonder whether she was actually awake when she typed it.
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“If you love Women so much..
why don’t you go live there?”Miscellaneous Prats23 Sep 2009 03:18 pm
Pre-Prepared Comedy Answers
By Alex
Where now for the Sugababes?
They should get Lemmie from Mortorhead in the line up , now he would make it interesting. With his music writing abilities , years of experience in the industry, could teach them how to live rock n roll & do it For real !! They could change the band name to Sugg’a Daddy then ?? Least the music might sound better. Maybe their ace of hearts would compliment his ace O’ spades ??
Now that wud be sweet !!
Simon Joe Brown, Pontefract, United Kingdom
I look forward to hearing your views on the future of the Church of England.
54 comments hide
54 Responses to “Pre-Prepared Comedy Answers”
on 23 Sep 2009 at 3:21 pm first
Get in
on 23 Sep 2009 at 3:30 pm That Bloke in the Corner
blah?blah blah? woohoo blah barble back blah normal baa?
on 23 Sep 2009 at 3:31 pm Alex
blahdy’blahdy baa blah blahdy blarb blahdy barble.
on 23 Sep 2009 at 3:32 pm That Bloke in the Corner
blahdy blah barble was blah too blahdy barble blah blah blahdy blah blahdy
on 23 Sep 2009 at 3:34 pm That Bloke in the Corner
Well barble blahdy blahdy compliments blah
on 23 Sep 2009 at 3:47 pm The blah filter has infected my brain! Everything I say comes out blah except names! I’ve named my dog every word in the dictonary to get around it, but it’s still a pain in the aardvark.
I touch children.
on 23 Sep 2009 at 3:49 pm I bum foxes ror real, now vote for the Real British National Party who will ban the Sugerbabes for being too PC.
blahdy’blahdy blahdy my blahdy blog you know.
on 23 Sep 2009 at 3:53 pm pigfrottage – I go away for 2 weeks and now look what you’ve done
I blah baa are blahing warble purpose.
on 23 Sep 2009 at 4:18 pm shitferbrains
blahdy blah blah warble blah blahdy
on 23 Sep 2009 at 5:22 pm nicktionary
wait what! there’s blah blah baa!
on 23 Sep 2009 at 5:45 pm alex, quickly nelson’s away, deactivate the blah filter.
I touch children.
on 23 Sep 2009 at 5:55 pm If you are going to vote BNP, then say Blah, If you are going to vote BNP, then say Blah, If you are going to vote BNP, then say Blah, If you are going to vote BNP, going to vote BNP, going to vote BNP then say BLAH!
Quit the Blah filter Alex!
on 23 Sep 2009 at 6:10 pm I’ve had enough of all three main parties. I’m voting UKIP or BNP next time.
UKIP or BNP
on 23 Sep 2009 at 6:15 pm Time has come to anhiliate pakistan and Iran from the map of the world… the muslims need to be punished…they have lost their license to live
Useless eaters muslims
on 23 Sep 2009 at 6:46 pm It is now time to vote BNP for one reason alone, it needs a party that will put the British people first and get rid of all the trash we have harboured due to the mis-management of our country by the two main parties.
blah the party of the blah barble the blah.
on 23 Sep 2009 at 7:27 pm Topsy Turvey…….. It’s official, Hys 1 SYB 0, no more piss taking comments now from the Lefty PC losers.
WE WON
on 23 Sep 2009 at 7:45 pm I am a member of the BNP but I am not racist just one of the many who want homes, jobs, healthcare etc firstly for my family and children and only if there’s anything left in the “kitty” for the endless stream of illegal immigrants who are floodiing into
blahdy blah blahdy baa blahdy blah blah blahdy blah blahdy blah barble blahdy blah blah baa are blahdy blah warble blahdy blahdy blah blahdy warble blah blah barble blarb blah blah blah blah baa blah blahdy barble blahdy baa blah blah blah blarb blah blah baa blah of blarb blah baa blahdy blah blah barble warble blah blah blah blahdy blah.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 12:01 am “It was like being on Mars,” she told the BBC, “I haven’t been there, obviously, but I imagine that’s what the sky would look like.” Fucking brilliant. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/8270104.stm
blarb’blarb got blah own blahdy blah blah.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 1:44 am BNP ROOLZ. ALSO, THIS IS THE ONLY PLACE ON THE INTERNET WERE PEEPLE TAKE THE PISS OUT OF THE BNP. BRITISH NASHONLISM OKAY.
baa’baa a thick cunt.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 3:14 am i prefer warble to blah – but then a warble wouldn’t be as good if it weren’t surrounded by blahs
warble warble
on 24 Sep 2009 at 3:19 am JOHN ADAIR ISN’T A PAEDOPHILE. JUST SAYING.
Just sayin’!
on 24 Sep 2009 at 9:16 am Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity
Newsniffer wisdom
on 24 Sep 2009 at 10:17 am Rube
Lemmie touched my bum.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 10:27 am I listened carefully to what Lord Adair said on the TV this morning and I concluded he is either a blatant liar or seriously deluded and Naieve.I might send Lord Adair a copy of Das Kapital because he obviously hasn’t read it or he would realise the funda
blah blahdy baa barble blahdy blah blarb now it hurts.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 10:51 am They control the masses and their in no country immune. At one time it was just a thought now it is thought and it has become the salt of indisputable understandings. We are a mass of impulses and to actuate it outside of another exists.
HYS blarbellings
on 24 Sep 2009 at 11:08 am Wheres Neil Craig when you want him most?
blahdy blah blah blah warble hard and baa blah hurts.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 11:38 am i’m wanking as I type this
flaps
on 24 Sep 2009 at 12:35 pm this blah filter kills fascists
I’d baa vote warble blarb blahdy barble’barble blah blah Nick Griffin.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 1:32 pm I didn’t know I had to have a licence to live. Do I get one at the post office?
I barble warble blahdy this were blah.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 1:34 pm So I put me foot through me router – and sent NELSON the bill.
I touch children.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 1:42 pm They’ll get bored soon
blahdy’blahdy be back in two weeks.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 2:00 pm this blah filter kills fascists………Ehhh NO it does not, vote BNP and reclaim Engerland
BEE ENN BEE
on 24 Sep 2009 at 2:02 pm They’ll get bored soon NO WE WILL NOT NICK GRIFFIN FOR KING NEIL CRAIG FOR PM
England the GREEEAAAAT!
on 24 Sep 2009 at 3:22 pm sad
sad o
on 24 Sep 2009 at 3:28 pm 1984 returns for real…… Have Your Say have won, sad SYB losers
Losers
on 24 Sep 2009 at 3:34 pm Bee Enn Bee? Oh I Get it – British Nazi Bastards
Bastards
on 24 Sep 2009 at 4:04 pm on 24 Sep 2009 at 3:34 pm Bee Enn Bee? Oh I Get it – British Nazi Bastards…dO WE HAVE YOUR VOTE?
Another voter won
on 24 Sep 2009 at 4:06 pm Where did all the cunts suddenly appear from?
blah blah blah blah.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 4:23 pm In leading the World into a spending spree, we’ve gone from Great Britain to Grate Britain. This alleged Government is unforgiveable.
Cunts Blahdy Blah
on 24 Sep 2009 at 4:40 pm Thicks cunt’s don’t realise the comments aren’t the point of SYB. Thick fuckers actually think its some kind of alternative HYS, fucking funny really.
Blah Mugs Blah
on 24 Sep 2009 at 4:50 pm sticks, stones, broken bones – if you laugh at me i’ll put me boot in your gob!
blah blahdy and blah but blahdy barble blah
on 24 Sep 2009 at 5:44 pm SYB like to take the piss, but do not like it when HYS give it back. Schoolchildren!
warble baa at SYB
on 24 Sep 2009 at 5:50 pm Talk about getting off the point! However, if the BNP members are all racists presumably you will agree that the Islamic scum who want to behead us for being white are racists too – or is that not PC!
barble baa blahdy racist blarb blahdy who blahdy blah blah barble
on 24 Sep 2009 at 6:00 pm I love the way all the BNP-fellaters think that clogging up the comments section of a single website they’re not obliged to read counts as a victory for free speech.
Foxbumming is ace
on 24 Sep 2009 at 6:01 pm I also love the way they ham-fistedly try to dodge the point by mentioning Islam.
Puny trumps
on 24 Sep 2009 at 6:02 pm I even love the mention of ‘schoolchildren’ – because if there’s one thing which shows maturity, it’s having to have the last word – even on someone else’s website.
Jeff Goldblah
on 24 Sep 2009 at 6:07 pm ThoughtGrenade
blahdy don’t barble blah blahfilter thing
on 24 Sep 2009 at 6:13 pm ThoughtGrenade
WHOSE RESPONSIBLE blahdy BLAH blah?
on 24 Sep 2009 at 7:08 pm Rube
Lemmie bums foxes.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 7:20 pm Right, all you Liberals, OUTSIDE NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I touch children.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 7:50 pm Gordon brown would kick the living shit out of Nick Griffin
He blah’blah stand a blah the blarb blahdy blahdy.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 7:50 pm I wonder if all BNP members are merely dyslexic rather than just thick as shit
blah blah blardy blah
on 24 Sep 2009 at 9:44 pm I only hate one group of people: others
blahdy blahdy blah they blah blarb are blarb baa are blahdy all blah blah blah cunts blah blah cunts warble
on 24 Sep 2009 at 10:11 pm Can we also have Person A, Person B brought back, too? Pretty Please?
Wee Jimmy Krankie.
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Armchair Generals and Delusions of Grandeur and Permanently Bewildered18 Sep 2009 05:00 pm
Historian
By Nelson
Blah blah missile defence.
Those of you who bash the US constantly for being “warmongers” would be wise to remember the last two times our country was asked to step in a save your bacon. The kind of resentment seen from some in Europe resembles that of a spoiled child who hates Daddy, even though all the child has, in some way or another, he owes to Daddy’s sacrifices in the past. War is never going to end – it is an unfortunate part of human nature. So show some respect to those who have the power to rescue you…
Dave, Pittsburgh
Right, I’m off on holiday for a couple of weeks. Bye.
74 comments speak your brane
Permanently Bewildered17 Sep 2009 03:40 pm
Reynard The Fox-bummer
By Nelson
The Guardian is running a poll to find out who would be the nation’s favourite celebrity headteacher. David Tennant is winning at the mo.
Thanks to Jane for spotting “Reynardmandrake” taking the opportunity to Make A Point.
Don’t forget Christopher Eccleston – both he and David Tennant would make excellent teachers. I can see them now – teaching children how to think for themselves and to look at the mind as a growing thing – not as a receptacle for NuLabour philosophy.
The mind is “bigger on the inside than on the outside.”
Oh Yessssss!!!
reynardmandrake
Jane says “I like the Churchill quote at the end”.
44 comments speak your brane
Credulous Nincompoops and Curtain Twitchers15 Sep 2009 11:42 am
Git
By Nelson
Thanks to David for finding this one. It’s from a Times Online article about some ex-pat American bird’s struggle to decide whether her daughter should spend more time in the English countryside (feeding horses) or over in Texas (swimming in the Gulf of Mexico). I guess there are some decisions that nobody can help you with. The comment thread is full of people trying though. They’re mostly offering spectacularly generic advice about “being yourself”. Good call.
And then there’s this.
You are lucky in that you can leave the UK and escape the opressive tyranny that is the EU. The rest of us are stuck here. Believe me, your ‘get ouf jail free’ card is well worth it. If it was up to me, I would out of here before it is too late. The comparisons with the Soviet Union are very real. Keep your eyes and ears open and be ready to move.
Anthony Farrar
I love these ones. Anthony is a short step away from turning into my absolute favourite kind of long-suffering, middle class twat by proclaiming that he’s “ready to fight”. The only thing these fat-fingered gits are likely to end up fighting over is a fucking parking space.
86 comments speak your brane
Permanently Bewildered14 Sep 2009 09:22 am
Wise Men
By Nelson
From the (largely quite pleasant) thread on Alan Turing’s posthumous pardon. Good old Alan.
I think it absurd to appologise for the past, especially the distant past. We learn from the past, but we can not be held collectively responsible for it. The responsibilty for the actions of those who have gone before us lay with them, not us. Also you cannot judge those who have gone before us by todays standards or criteria.
Gerard Dilworth, Stratford upon Avon, United Kingdom
Indeed. As I keep pointing out to the missus, her entire gender has only been clever enough to vote since the 1920s, whereas men have been doing important stuff for centuries. We need to respect those wise men of the past. Except the gay ones.
72 comments speak your brane
Hypocrites and Racists11 Sep 2009 02:35 pm
Sarcasm and Irony for Beginners
By Alex
You know what, we’ve not had an good old straight-up racist fucknut-magnet thread for a while. Should the EU welcome more refugees? One of the more unorthodox answers comes from Glen Thomas, who I assume is transforming into some kind of white supremacist werewolf.
AAAARRRRGGGHHHH NNNOOOOOO!!!!
Glen Thomas
But rather than just roar, some HYSers have decided to use this topic to try out their dry, cutting wit, and that’s what we’re going to be learning about today.
What an absolutely splendid idea. Cut the number of illegal immigrants by allowing them to come over legally.
Could we please extend this to other crimes. The murder rate would be cut drastically if we made it legal to kill and the number of thefts slashed if we made it legal to help yourself to other peoples property.
Phil, Liverpool
You’ve made a bit of a mistake here Phil. You’ve gone and opened your sarcastic tirade with a very reasonable idea, one that we already do anyway by allowing any immigration at all. Then you’ve made a massive jump to something completely different. Doing that doesn’t make the idea look stupid, it makes you look stupid, and that’s not what you want from sarcasm. Let an expert show you: I see where you’re going with this. While we’re at it, let’s eradicate a terrible disease by cutting the cancer quota to zero and bring in an Australian-style points system for rape.
See? Much better. You could also try something like this, if you don’t mind being a cunt.
”They often rely on human traffickers and risk their lives as they try to enter the EU on rickety boats.”
Oh, my heart bleeds for them, sniff…
peter paxton
Some competent sarcasm there. But what a cunt. Somehow though, straight insults aren’t enough for me. I wanted to work out exactly how one achieves such world-beating sarky cuntishness, and I think I’ve got it. These two actually think immigration is a crime. Not just illegal immigration, all of it. They actually think that what basically amounts to moving house is a heinous act in and of itself. All that stuff about visas is just the government going a bit soft. From that viewpoint, there’s a delicious irony to immigrants drowning on their way to Europe. Poetic justice! You wanted to flood our green and pleasant land with yourselves, but now it is your own lungs which are flooding! Hoist by your own petard! Live by the boat, die by the boat! Peter Paxton, you’ve passed both sarcasm and irony with flying colours, simply by failing as a human being. You cunt.
Unfortunately these next two weren’t up to sarcasm and could only manage unintentional irony:
Right now, people all over Europe are remembering the 70th. Anniversary of the outbreak of WW2 – a monumental struggle to free Europe (and elsewhere) from the yoke of unbearable tyranny. And now along comes the “EU” with this notion.
Remind me – what did so many die in WW2 for?
The “EU” must be stopped. Now. No ifs, buts nor maybes. Abolished. Thrown into the dustbin of History. Period.
[NewsMonitor]
You’ve got to admit he does it well though. I can’t help but admire anyone who can wax lyrical about how noble it was of us to fight Hitler and then call an ineffective trading bureaucracy that lets people flee to Britain “unbearable tyranny”. It just goes to show, nothing helps you with unintentional irony like having absolutely no sense of perspective whatsoever. Though he’ll never quite be the mack daddy of the discipline:
No, the UK should not welcome more refugees.
Queue the swivel eyed leftys and their personal attacks, devoid of an argument.
g mitchell, kent
Good point. An internet discussion forum is no place for unjustified assertions, straw-man arguments and hypocritical ad hominem attacks.
74 comments speak your brane
Credulous Nincompoops and Unfocused Rage09 Sep 2009 01:31 pm
gold-plated pensions
By Alex
Thanks to Alan for pointing me at the thread on state pensions rising to seventy.
UNLESS YOUR A PUBLIC SERVANT, then its somewhere around 52 with FULL GOLD PLATED PENSION paid for by the tax from my state pension and savings…SHOCKING!
MPS, COUNCILORS, TEACHERS, POLICE, FIRE, etc…all should work until the same age…if they can’t work in the front line then they should be forced to do voluntary or desk jobs to earn their GOLD PLATED PENSIONS
MillerMan UKIP, Staford, United Kingdom
I’m sorry MillerMan UKIP, I can’t quite follow your point exactly. Could you highlight the key words, maybe in bold or underlined, just to make it a bit clearer to the layman?
Why do you think that the elderly will not be getting the swine flue vaccination this is the governments hope that they all die off so they can save on their pensions and othe social security benifits thereby saving the treasury money. Back in the 60’s they used to secretly spray the population with biological germs just to test how they would work out in a crowded environment as I do not trust the government whats to say they have not created this one to save the treasury money on pensions
[johnilmalin1], Edinburgh, United Kingdom
And as we’ve seen before, it’s the public sector which costs the most on pensions. Don’t be surprised if the government tries to infect the NHS by directing sufferers to hospitals and doctors’ surgeries.
I’ll give the last word to Alan though, as it’s genius and made me wee myself a bit: John has not made it entirely clear whether ’swine flue’ is a biological, non-bio or coloursafe germ.
144 comments speak your brane
Armchair Generals and The Regular Twats08 Sep 2009 09:25 am
Massive Horny War
By Nelson
Something about war.
“Declaration of war by Great Britain was not followed up with any military actions against Germany. Poland was abandoned by its allies…Why do we always say that Great Britain declared the war on Germany if it sat still and did not help its friend?
Marcin, Hartford, CT”
The fact is, we could not defend Poland as it was too far away, across hostile territory and we didn’t have the means. If wishes were horses, eh?
potato lord, cardiff
You’d have shit horses.
Germany was victorious in the war declared by Britain because she inflicted more harm compared to what she incurred.
wodgot, uk
Britain lost 400,000 in WW2. Germany lost between 6-8 million. The famous Luftwaffe raid on Coventry killed 800. At Hamburg the RAF killed 40,000 and at Dresden possibly 100,000. By the end of the war every major German city was reduced to cinders and their country occupied for 50 years. Germany lost very badly indeed.
[Peter_Sym], Nottingham
I made you a t-shirt.
177 comments speak your brane
Hypocrites and Outsiders03 Sep 2009 09:02 am
If You Can’t Say Anything Nice About Somebody, It’s Probably Melanie Phillips
By Nelson
The Daily Mail and its shitting bumwank of comment monkeys are all angry and confused again. This time it’s because Stewart Lee has done some very naughty material about Richard Hammond and his car crash.
I’m fairly convinced it’s the Daily Mail readers who are responsible for all those HYS comments that can’t distinguish between art and reality, whether that’s films, books, TV or comedy. No wonder it’s a bit light on culture. They probably get halfway through a play before running, screaming, to the nearest police station to breathlessly report that some Danish immigrant just knifecrimed Ophelia’s dad through a curtain.
Thanks to Rob for finding Lizzy here, merrily blathering away with so little self-awareness you wonder whether she was actually awake when she typed it.
I always follow this golden rule:
“If you can’t say something nice about somebody, don’t say anything at all.”
Thank goodness I’ve never seen this excuse for a human being – and, in future, I will go out of my way to miss him.
I hope his career goes straight down the toilet.
- Lizzy, W.London, 30/8/2009 3:04
“A” for effort, Lizzy. That was the best you could do.
I’ve not heard Stewart Lee’s current show so I don’t know what he was on about. I suspect he was either making a point about something, being very funny about something or, quite likely, both. I’m not sure how much I can be arsed to wish car crashes on Richard Hammond but I’m sure that I don’t subscribe to the idea proposed by the Daily Mail’s “readers” that Hammond’s car crash is something you “wouldn’t wish on anyone”. I don’t think there’s really anything in that category to be honest. Just try and think of something that you wouldn’t wish on anyone. Got it? Right, now imagine it happening to, say, Richard fucking Perle or Tony shitting Blair? Suddenly it’s ok isn’t it? In fact, I think I’ve mentioned before that I’d like people to stop using the phrase “I wouldn’t wish that on anyone” and replace it with the phrase “I wouldn’t wish that on anyone except Melanie Phillips” e.g.
A: Apparently, there’s a tropical disease that makes your nose go all flaky and drop off and then, where your nose used to be, you grow a little, poorly cock instead! Look, I found a picture of it on the fucking internet.
B: Urgh. I just sicked up in my mouth a little bit. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone except Melanie Phillips. I hope her nose falls off and then she grows a little, poorly cock there instead. A cock like a horrible toe.
389 comments speak your brane
Curtain Twitchers and Outsiders and Racists02 Sep 2009 01:15 pm
Itsy-Bitsy Teeny-Weeny Covert Terror Plot Bikini
By Alex
The Burkini. Half veil, half Victorian swimming costume. Seems a little silly, doesn’t it, especially if you give it an amusing name like that. Not so. It is in fact a very serious matter because blah blah Eurabia blah blah eroding our Western culture yadda yadda yadda Islamism. Now you would have thought the previous statement was the stupidest thing you could possibly say on the subject, but that’s not what right-wing blogs are for. It’s just a benchmark for the comments that follow it, so they know the absolute minimum level of angry idiocy they need to attain.
The burka and burkini have very little to do with religion or custom, and everything to do with a form of self inflicted apartheid, and a rejection of the culture and customs of the host nation. I have at times witnessed more women wearing burkas in Wathamstow Market, in East London, than would normally be seen in Lahore. I am unaware of the plural for several burka wearers, but a murder of crows always comes to mind.
Toboo
This is a nice example of why you get a better class of cunt on the Telegraph. Background facts: the plural of burkha wearer is in fact ‘burkha wearers’, and collective nouns are a long, pointless list of words you’ll never actually use in a sentence and the most smug, tedious and unfunny substitute for wit and eloquence the English language has to offer. By the way, did you know that the collective noun for people who comment on news sites is a “shitting bumwank” as in “Have you seen the massive shitting bumwank of racists on the Telegraph site today?”.
I saw a woman at my gym in California come into the pool area wearing one of these recently. YOu should have seen the looks she was getting.
I hate to say it, but these people are manifesting themselves en mass even out here in California now. I thought and hoped that I’dleft it all far behind in London, but no.
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“If you love Women so much..
why don’t you go live there?”Miscellaneous Prats23 Sep 2009 03:18 pm
Pre-Prepared Comedy Answers
By Alex
Where now for the Sugababes?
They should get Lemmie from Mortorhead in the line up , now he would make it interesting. With his music writing abilities , years of experience in the industry, could teach them how to live rock n roll & do it For real !! They could change the band name to Sugg’a Daddy then ?? Least the music might sound better. Maybe their ace of hearts would compliment his ace O’ spades ??
Now that wud be sweet !!
Simon Joe Brown, Pontefract, United Kingdom
I look forward to hearing your views on the future of the Church of England.
54 comments hide
54 Responses to “Pre-Prepared Comedy Answers”
on 23 Sep 2009 at 3:21 pm first
Get in
on 23 Sep 2009 at 3:30 pm That Bloke in the Corner
blah?blah blah? woohoo blah barble back blah normal baa?
on 23 Sep 2009 at 3:31 pm Alex
blahdy’blahdy baa blah blahdy blarb blahdy barble.
on 23 Sep 2009 at 3:32 pm That Bloke in the Corner
blahdy blah barble was blah too blahdy barble blah blah blahdy blah blahdy
on 23 Sep 2009 at 3:34 pm That Bloke in the Corner
Well barble blahdy blahdy compliments blah
on 23 Sep 2009 at 3:47 pm The blah filter has infected my brain! Everything I say comes out blah except names! I’ve named my dog every word in the dictonary to get around it, but it’s still a pain in the aardvark.
I touch children.
on 23 Sep 2009 at 3:49 pm I bum foxes ror real, now vote for the Real British National Party who will ban the Sugerbabes for being too PC.
blahdy’blahdy blahdy my blahdy blog you know.
on 23 Sep 2009 at 3:53 pm pigfrottage – I go away for 2 weeks and now look what you’ve done
I blah baa are blahing warble purpose.
on 23 Sep 2009 at 4:18 pm shitferbrains
blahdy blah blah warble blah blahdy
on 23 Sep 2009 at 5:22 pm nicktionary
wait what! there’s blah blah baa!
on 23 Sep 2009 at 5:45 pm alex, quickly nelson’s away, deactivate the blah filter.
I touch children.
on 23 Sep 2009 at 5:55 pm If you are going to vote BNP, then say Blah, If you are going to vote BNP, then say Blah, If you are going to vote BNP, then say Blah, If you are going to vote BNP, going to vote BNP, going to vote BNP then say BLAH!
Quit the Blah filter Alex!
on 23 Sep 2009 at 6:10 pm I’ve had enough of all three main parties. I’m voting UKIP or BNP next time.
UKIP or BNP
on 23 Sep 2009 at 6:15 pm Time has come to anhiliate pakistan and Iran from the map of the world… the muslims need to be punished…they have lost their license to live
Useless eaters muslims
on 23 Sep 2009 at 6:46 pm It is now time to vote BNP for one reason alone, it needs a party that will put the British people first and get rid of all the trash we have harboured due to the mis-management of our country by the two main parties.
blah the party of the blah barble the blah.
on 23 Sep 2009 at 7:27 pm Topsy Turvey…….. It’s official, Hys 1 SYB 0, no more piss taking comments now from the Lefty PC losers.
WE WON
on 23 Sep 2009 at 7:45 pm I am a member of the BNP but I am not racist just one of the many who want homes, jobs, healthcare etc firstly for my family and children and only if there’s anything left in the “kitty” for the endless stream of illegal immigrants who are floodiing into
blahdy blah blahdy baa blahdy blah blah blahdy blah blahdy blah barble blahdy blah blah baa are blahdy blah warble blahdy blahdy blah blahdy warble blah blah barble blarb blah blah blah blah baa blah blahdy barble blahdy baa blah blah blah blarb blah blah baa blah of blarb blah baa blahdy blah blah barble warble blah blah blah blahdy blah.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 12:01 am “It was like being on Mars,” she told the BBC, “I haven’t been there, obviously, but I imagine that’s what the sky would look like.” Fucking brilliant. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/8270104.stm
blarb’blarb got blah own blahdy blah blah.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 1:44 am BNP ROOLZ. ALSO, THIS IS THE ONLY PLACE ON THE INTERNET WERE PEEPLE TAKE THE PISS OUT OF THE BNP. BRITISH NASHONLISM OKAY.
baa’baa a thick cunt.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 3:14 am i prefer warble to blah – but then a warble wouldn’t be as good if it weren’t surrounded by blahs
warble warble
on 24 Sep 2009 at 3:19 am JOHN ADAIR ISN’T A PAEDOPHILE. JUST SAYING.
Just sayin’!
on 24 Sep 2009 at 9:16 am Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity
Newsniffer wisdom
on 24 Sep 2009 at 10:17 am Rube
Lemmie touched my bum.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 10:27 am I listened carefully to what Lord Adair said on the TV this morning and I concluded he is either a blatant liar or seriously deluded and Naieve.I might send Lord Adair a copy of Das Kapital because he obviously hasn’t read it or he would realise the funda
blah blahdy baa barble blahdy blah blarb now it hurts.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 10:51 am They control the masses and their in no country immune. At one time it was just a thought now it is thought and it has become the salt of indisputable understandings. We are a mass of impulses and to actuate it outside of another exists.
HYS blarbellings
on 24 Sep 2009 at 11:08 am Wheres Neil Craig when you want him most?
blahdy blah blah blah warble hard and baa blah hurts.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 11:38 am i’m wanking as I type this
flaps
on 24 Sep 2009 at 12:35 pm this blah filter kills fascists
I’d baa vote warble blarb blahdy barble’barble blah blah Nick Griffin.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 1:32 pm I didn’t know I had to have a licence to live. Do I get one at the post office?
I barble warble blahdy this were blah.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 1:34 pm So I put me foot through me router – and sent NELSON the bill.
I touch children.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 1:42 pm They’ll get bored soon
blahdy’blahdy be back in two weeks.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 2:00 pm this blah filter kills fascists………Ehhh NO it does not, vote BNP and reclaim Engerland
BEE ENN BEE
on 24 Sep 2009 at 2:02 pm They’ll get bored soon NO WE WILL NOT NICK GRIFFIN FOR KING NEIL CRAIG FOR PM
England the GREEEAAAAT!
on 24 Sep 2009 at 3:22 pm sad
sad o
on 24 Sep 2009 at 3:28 pm 1984 returns for real…… Have Your Say have won, sad SYB losers
Losers
on 24 Sep 2009 at 3:34 pm Bee Enn Bee? Oh I Get it – British Nazi Bastards
Bastards
on 24 Sep 2009 at 4:04 pm on 24 Sep 2009 at 3:34 pm Bee Enn Bee? Oh I Get it – British Nazi Bastards…dO WE HAVE YOUR VOTE?
Another voter won
on 24 Sep 2009 at 4:06 pm Where did all the cunts suddenly appear from?
blah blah blah blah.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 4:23 pm In leading the World into a spending spree, we’ve gone from Great Britain to Grate Britain. This alleged Government is unforgiveable.
Cunts Blahdy Blah
on 24 Sep 2009 at 4:40 pm Thicks cunt’s don’t realise the comments aren’t the point of SYB. Thick fuckers actually think its some kind of alternative HYS, fucking funny really.
Blah Mugs Blah
on 24 Sep 2009 at 4:50 pm sticks, stones, broken bones – if you laugh at me i’ll put me boot in your gob!
blah blahdy and blah but blahdy barble blah
on 24 Sep 2009 at 5:44 pm SYB like to take the piss, but do not like it when HYS give it back. Schoolchildren!
warble baa at SYB
on 24 Sep 2009 at 5:50 pm Talk about getting off the point! However, if the BNP members are all racists presumably you will agree that the Islamic scum who want to behead us for being white are racists too – or is that not PC!
barble baa blahdy racist blarb blahdy who blahdy blah blah barble
on 24 Sep 2009 at 6:00 pm I love the way all the BNP-fellaters think that clogging up the comments section of a single website they’re not obliged to read counts as a victory for free speech.
Foxbumming is ace
on 24 Sep 2009 at 6:01 pm I also love the way they ham-fistedly try to dodge the point by mentioning Islam.
Puny trumps
on 24 Sep 2009 at 6:02 pm I even love the mention of ‘schoolchildren’ – because if there’s one thing which shows maturity, it’s having to have the last word – even on someone else’s website.
Jeff Goldblah
on 24 Sep 2009 at 6:07 pm ThoughtGrenade
blahdy don’t barble blah blahfilter thing
on 24 Sep 2009 at 6:13 pm ThoughtGrenade
WHOSE RESPONSIBLE blahdy BLAH blah?
on 24 Sep 2009 at 7:08 pm Rube
Lemmie bums foxes.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 7:20 pm Right, all you Liberals, OUTSIDE NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I touch children.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 7:50 pm Gordon brown would kick the living shit out of Nick Griffin
He blah’blah stand a blah the blarb blahdy blahdy.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 7:50 pm I wonder if all BNP members are merely dyslexic rather than just thick as shit
blah blah blardy blah
on 24 Sep 2009 at 9:44 pm I only hate one group of people: others
blahdy blahdy blah they blah blarb are blarb baa are blahdy all blah blah blah cunts blah blah cunts warble
on 24 Sep 2009 at 10:11 pm Can we also have Person A, Person B brought back, too? Pretty Please?
Wee Jimmy Krankie.
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Armchair Generals and Delusions of Grandeur and Permanently Bewildered18 Sep 2009 05:00 pm
Historian
By Nelson
Blah blah missile defence.
Those of you who bash the US constantly for being “warmongers” would be wise to remember the last two times our country was asked to step in a save your bacon. The kind of resentment seen from some in Europe resembles that of a spoiled child who hates Daddy, even though all the child has, in some way or another, he owes to Daddy’s sacrifices in the past. War is never going to end – it is an unfortunate part of human nature. So show some respect to those who have the power to rescue you…
Dave, Pittsburgh
Right, I’m off on holiday for a couple of weeks. Bye.
74 comments speak your brane
Permanently Bewildered17 Sep 2009 03:40 pm
Reynard The Fox-bummer
By Nelson
The Guardian is running a poll to find out who would be the nation’s favourite celebrity headteacher. David Tennant is winning at the mo.
Thanks to Jane for spotting “Reynardmandrake” taking the opportunity to Make A Point.
Don’t forget Christopher Eccleston – both he and David Tennant would make excellent teachers. I can see them now – teaching children how to think for themselves and to look at the mind as a growing thing – not as a receptacle for NuLabour philosophy.
The mind is “bigger on the inside than on the outside.”
Oh Yessssss!!!
reynardmandrake
Jane says “I like the Churchill quote at the end”.
44 comments speak your brane
Credulous Nincompoops and Curtain Twitchers15 Sep 2009 11:42 am
Git
By Nelson
Thanks to David for finding this one. It’s from a Times Online article about some ex-pat American bird’s struggle to decide whether her daughter should spend more time in the English countryside (feeding horses) or over in Texas (swimming in the Gulf of Mexico). I guess there are some decisions that nobody can help you with. The comment thread is full of people trying though. They’re mostly offering spectacularly generic advice about “being yourself”. Good call.
And then there’s this.
You are lucky in that you can leave the UK and escape the opressive tyranny that is the EU. The rest of us are stuck here. Believe me, your ‘get ouf jail free’ card is well worth it. If it was up to me, I would out of here before it is too late. The comparisons with the Soviet Union are very real. Keep your eyes and ears open and be ready to move.
Anthony Farrar
I love these ones. Anthony is a short step away from turning into my absolute favourite kind of long-suffering, middle class twat by proclaiming that he’s “ready to fight”. The only thing these fat-fingered gits are likely to end up fighting over is a fucking parking space.
86 comments speak your brane
Permanently Bewildered14 Sep 2009 09:22 am
Wise Men
By Nelson
From the (largely quite pleasant) thread on Alan Turing’s posthumous pardon. Good old Alan.
I think it absurd to appologise for the past, especially the distant past. We learn from the past, but we can not be held collectively responsible for it. The responsibilty for the actions of those who have gone before us lay with them, not us. Also you cannot judge those who have gone before us by todays standards or criteria.
Gerard Dilworth, Stratford upon Avon, United Kingdom
Indeed. As I keep pointing out to the missus, her entire gender has only been clever enough to vote since the 1920s, whereas men have been doing important stuff for centuries. We need to respect those wise men of the past. Except the gay ones.
72 comments speak your brane
Hypocrites and Racists11 Sep 2009 02:35 pm
Sarcasm and Irony for Beginners
By Alex
You know what, we’ve not had an good old straight-up racist fucknut-magnet thread for a while. Should the EU welcome more refugees? One of the more unorthodox answers comes from Glen Thomas, who I assume is transforming into some kind of white supremacist werewolf.
AAAARRRRGGGHHHH NNNOOOOOO!!!!
Glen Thomas
But rather than just roar, some HYSers have decided to use this topic to try out their dry, cutting wit, and that’s what we’re going to be learning about today.
What an absolutely splendid idea. Cut the number of illegal immigrants by allowing them to come over legally.
Could we please extend this to other crimes. The murder rate would be cut drastically if we made it legal to kill and the number of thefts slashed if we made it legal to help yourself to other peoples property.
Phil, Liverpool
You’ve made a bit of a mistake here Phil. You’ve gone and opened your sarcastic tirade with a very reasonable idea, one that we already do anyway by allowing any immigration at all. Then you’ve made a massive jump to something completely different. Doing that doesn’t make the idea look stupid, it makes you look stupid, and that’s not what you want from sarcasm. Let an expert show you: I see where you’re going with this. While we’re at it, let’s eradicate a terrible disease by cutting the cancer quota to zero and bring in an Australian-style points system for rape.
See? Much better. You could also try something like this, if you don’t mind being a cunt.
”They often rely on human traffickers and risk their lives as they try to enter the EU on rickety boats.”
Oh, my heart bleeds for them, sniff…
peter paxton
Some competent sarcasm there. But what a cunt. Somehow though, straight insults aren’t enough for me. I wanted to work out exactly how one achieves such world-beating sarky cuntishness, and I think I’ve got it. These two actually think immigration is a crime. Not just illegal immigration, all of it. They actually think that what basically amounts to moving house is a heinous act in and of itself. All that stuff about visas is just the government going a bit soft. From that viewpoint, there’s a delicious irony to immigrants drowning on their way to Europe. Poetic justice! You wanted to flood our green and pleasant land with yourselves, but now it is your own lungs which are flooding! Hoist by your own petard! Live by the boat, die by the boat! Peter Paxton, you’ve passed both sarcasm and irony with flying colours, simply by failing as a human being. You cunt.
Unfortunately these next two weren’t up to sarcasm and could only manage unintentional irony:
Right now, people all over Europe are remembering the 70th. Anniversary of the outbreak of WW2 – a monumental struggle to free Europe (and elsewhere) from the yoke of unbearable tyranny. And now along comes the “EU” with this
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“If you love Women so much..
why don’t you go live there?”Miscellaneous Prats23 Sep 2009 03:18 pm
Pre-Prepared Comedy Answers
By Alex
Where now for the Sugababes?
They should get Lemmie from Mortorhead in the line up , now he would make it interesting. With his music writing abilities , years of experience in the industry, could teach them how to live rock n roll & do it For real !! They could change the band name to Sugg’a Daddy then ?? Least the music might sound better. Maybe their ace of hearts would compliment his ace O’ spades ??
Now that wud be sweet !!
Simon Joe Brown, Pontefract, United Kingdom
I look forward to hearing your views on the future of the Church of England.
54 comments hide
54 Responses to “Pre-Prepared Comedy Answers”
on 23 Sep 2009 at 3:21 pm first
Get in
on 23 Sep 2009 at 3:30 pm That Bloke in the Corner
blah?blah blah? woohoo blah barble back blah normal baa?
on 23 Sep 2009 at 3:31 pm Alex
blahdy’blahdy baa blah blahdy blarb blahdy barble.
on 23 Sep 2009 at 3:32 pm That Bloke in the Corner
blahdy blah barble was blah too blahdy barble blah blah blahdy blah blahdy
on 23 Sep 2009 at 3:34 pm That Bloke in the Corner
Well barble blahdy blahdy compliments blah
on 23 Sep 2009 at 3:47 pm The blah filter has infected my brain! Everything I say comes out blah except names! I’ve named my dog every word in the dictonary to get around it, but it’s still a pain in the aardvark.
I touch children.
on 23 Sep 2009 at 3:49 pm I bum foxes ror real, now vote for the Real British National Party who will ban the Sugerbabes for being too PC.
blahdy’blahdy blahdy my blahdy blog you know.
on 23 Sep 2009 at 3:53 pm pigfrottage – I go away for 2 weeks and now look what you’ve done
I blah baa are blahing warble purpose.
on 23 Sep 2009 at 4:18 pm shitferbrains
blahdy blah blah warble blah blahdy
on 23 Sep 2009 at 5:22 pm nicktionary
wait what! there’s blah blah baa!
on 23 Sep 2009 at 5:45 pm alex, quickly nelson’s away, deactivate the blah filter.
I touch children.
on 23 Sep 2009 at 5:55 pm If you are going to vote BNP, then say Blah, If you are going to vote BNP, then say Blah, If you are going to vote BNP, then say Blah, If you are going to vote BNP, going to vote BNP, going to vote BNP then say BLAH!
Quit the Blah filter Alex!
on 23 Sep 2009 at 6:10 pm I’ve had enough of all three main parties. I’m voting UKIP or BNP next time.
UKIP or BNP
on 23 Sep 2009 at 6:15 pm Time has come to anhiliate pakistan and Iran from the map of the world… the muslims need to be punished…they have lost their license to live
Useless eaters muslims
on 23 Sep 2009 at 6:46 pm It is now time to vote BNP for one reason alone, it needs a party that will put the British people first and get rid of all the trash we have harboured due to the mis-management of our country by the two main parties.
blah the party of the blah barble the blah.
on 23 Sep 2009 at 7:27 pm Topsy Turvey…….. It’s official, Hys 1 SYB 0, no more piss taking comments now from the Lefty PC losers.
WE WON
on 23 Sep 2009 at 7:45 pm I am a member of the BNP but I am not racist just one of the many who want homes, jobs, healthcare etc firstly for my family and children and only if there’s anything left in the “kitty” for the endless stream of illegal immigrants who are floodiing into
blahdy blah blahdy baa blahdy blah blah blahdy blah blahdy blah barble blahdy blah blah baa are blahdy blah warble blahdy blahdy blah blahdy warble blah blah barble blarb blah blah blah blah baa blah blahdy barble blahdy baa blah blah blah blarb blah blah baa blah of blarb blah baa blahdy blah blah barble warble blah blah blah blahdy blah.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 12:01 am “It was like being on Mars,” she told the BBC, “I haven’t been there, obviously, but I imagine that’s what the sky would look like.” Fucking brilliant. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/8270104.stm
blarb’blarb got blah own blahdy blah blah.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 1:44 am BNP ROOLZ. ALSO, THIS IS THE ONLY PLACE ON THE INTERNET WERE PEEPLE TAKE THE PISS OUT OF THE BNP. BRITISH NASHONLISM OKAY.
baa’baa a thick cunt.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 3:14 am i prefer warble to blah – but then a warble wouldn’t be as good if it weren’t surrounded by blahs
warble warble
on 24 Sep 2009 at 3:19 am JOHN ADAIR ISN’T A PAEDOPHILE. JUST SAYING.
Just sayin’!
on 24 Sep 2009 at 9:16 am Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity
Newsniffer wisdom
on 24 Sep 2009 at 10:17 am Rube
Lemmie touched my bum.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 10:27 am I listened carefully to what Lord Adair said on the TV this morning and I concluded he is either a blatant liar or seriously deluded and Naieve.I might send Lord Adair a copy of Das Kapital because he obviously hasn’t read it or he would realise the funda
blah blahdy baa barble blahdy blah blarb now it hurts.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 10:51 am They control the masses and their in no country immune. At one time it was just a thought now it is thought and it has become the salt of indisputable understandings. We are a mass of impulses and to actuate it outside of another exists.
HYS blarbellings
on 24 Sep 2009 at 11:08 am Wheres Neil Craig when you want him most?
blahdy blah blah blah warble hard and baa blah hurts.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 11:38 am i’m wanking as I type this
flaps
on 24 Sep 2009 at 12:35 pm this blah filter kills fascists
I’d baa vote warble blarb blahdy barble’barble blah blah Nick Griffin.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 1:32 pm I didn’t know I had to have a licence to live. Do I get one at the post office?
I barble warble blahdy this were blah.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 1:34 pm So I put me foot through me router – and sent NELSON the bill.
I touch children.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 1:42 pm They’ll get bored soon
blahdy’blahdy be back in two weeks.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 2:00 pm this blah filter kills fascists………Ehhh NO it does not, vote BNP and reclaim Engerland
BEE ENN BEE
on 24 Sep 2009 at 2:02 pm They’ll get bored soon NO WE WILL NOT NICK GRIFFIN FOR KING NEIL CRAIG FOR PM
England the GREEEAAAAT!
on 24 Sep 2009 at 3:22 pm sad
sad o
on 24 Sep 2009 at 3:28 pm 1984 returns for real…… Have Your Say have won, sad SYB losers
Losers
on 24 Sep 2009 at 3:34 pm Bee Enn Bee? Oh I Get it – British Nazi Bastards
Bastards
on 24 Sep 2009 at 4:04 pm on 24 Sep 2009 at 3:34 pm Bee Enn Bee? Oh I Get it – British Nazi Bastards…dO WE HAVE YOUR VOTE?
Another voter won
on 24 Sep 2009 at 4:06 pm Where did all the cunts suddenly appear from?
blah blah blah blah.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 4:23 pm In leading the World into a spending spree, we’ve gone from Great Britain to Grate Britain. This alleged Government is unforgiveable.
Cunts Blahdy Blah
on 24 Sep 2009 at 4:40 pm Thicks cunt’s don’t realise the comments aren’t the point of SYB. Thick fuckers actually think its some kind of alternative HYS, fucking funny really.
Blah Mugs Blah
on 24 Sep 2009 at 4:50 pm sticks, stones, broken bones – if you laugh at me i’ll put me boot in your gob!
blah blahdy and blah but blahdy barble blah
on 24 Sep 2009 at 5:44 pm SYB like to take the piss, but do not like it when HYS give it back. Schoolchildren!
warble baa at SYB
on 24 Sep 2009 at 5:50 pm Talk about getting off the point! However, if the BNP members are all racists presumably you will agree that the Islamic scum who want to behead us for being white are racists too – or is that not PC!
barble baa blahdy racist blarb blahdy who blahdy blah blah barble
on 24 Sep 2009 at 6:00 pm I love the way all the BNP-fellaters think that clogging up the comments section of a single website they’re not obliged to read counts as a victory for free speech.
Foxbumming is ace
on 24 Sep 2009 at 6:01 pm I also love the way they ham-fistedly try to dodge the point by mentioning Islam.
Puny trumps
on 24 Sep 2009 at 6:02 pm I even love the mention of ‘schoolchildren’ – because if there’s one thing which shows maturity, it’s having to have the last word – even on someone else’s website.
Jeff Goldblah
on 24 Sep 2009 at 6:07 pm ThoughtGrenade
blahdy don’t barble blah blahfilter thing
on 24 Sep 2009 at 6:13 pm ThoughtGrenade
WHOSE RESPONSIBLE blahdy BLAH blah?
on 24 Sep 2009 at 7:08 pm Rube
Lemmie bums foxes.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 7:20 pm Right, all you Liberals, OUTSIDE NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I touch children.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 7:50 pm Gordon brown would kick the living shit out of Nick Griffin
He blah’blah stand a blah the blarb blahdy blahdy.
on 24 Sep 2009 at 7:50 pm I wonder if all BNP members are merely dyslexic rather than just thick as shit
blah blah blardy blah
on 24 Sep 2009 at 9:44 pm I only hate one group of people: others
blahdy blahdy blah they blah blarb are blarb baa are blahdy all blah blah blah cunts blah blah cunts warble
on 24 Sep 2009 at 10:11 pm Can we also have Person A, Person B brought back, too? Pretty Please?
Wee Jimmy Krankie.
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Armchair Generals and Delusions of Grandeur and Permanently Bewildered18 Sep 2009 05:00 pm
Historian
By Nelson
Blah blah missile defence.
Those of you who bash the US constantly for being “warmongers” would be wise to remember the last two times our country was asked to step in a save your bacon. The kind of resentment seen from some in Europe resembles that of a spoiled child who hates Daddy, even though all the child has, in some way or another, he owes to Daddy’s sacrifices in the past. War is never going to end – it is an unfortunate part of human nature. So show some respect to those who have the power to rescue you…
Dave, Pittsburgh
Right, I’m off on holiday for a couple of weeks. Bye.
74 comments speak your brane
Permanently Bewildered17 Sep 2009 03:40 pm
Reynard The Fox-bummer
By Nelson
The Guardian is running a poll to find out who would be the nation’s favourite celebrity headteacher. David Tennant is winning at the mo.
Thanks to Jane for spotting “Reynardmandrake” taking the opportunity to Make A Point.
Don’t forget Christopher Eccleston – both he and David Tennant would make excellent teachers. I can see them now – teaching children how to think for themselves and to look at the mind as a growing thing – not as a receptacle for NuLabour philosophy.
The mind is “bigger on the inside than on the outside.”
Oh Yessssss!!!
reynardmandrake
Jane says “I like the Churchill quote at the end”.
44 comments speak your brane
Credulous Nincompoops and Curtain Twitchers15 Sep 2009 11:42 am
Git
By Nelson
Thanks to David for finding this one. It’s from a Times Online article about some ex-pat American bird’s struggle to decide whether her daughter should spend more time in the English countryside (feeding horses) or over in Texas (swimming in the Gulf of Mexico). I guess there are some decisions that nobody can help you with. The comment thread is full of people trying though. They’re mostly offering spectacularly generic advice about “being yourself”. Good call.
And then there’s this.
You are lucky in that you can leave the UK and escape the opressive tyranny that is the EU. The rest of us are stuck here. Believe me, your ‘get ouf jail free’ card is well worth it. If it was up to me, I would out of here before it is too late. The comparisons with the Soviet Union are very real. Keep your eyes and ears open and be ready to move.
Anthony Farrar
I love these ones. Anthony is a short step away from turning into my absolute favourite kind of long-suffering, middle class twat by proclaiming that he’s “ready to fight”. The only thing these fat-fingered gits are likely to end up fighting over is a fucking parking space.
86 comments speak your brane
Permanently Bewildered14 Sep 2009 09:22 am
Wise Men
By Nelson
From the (largely quite pleasant) thread on Alan Turing’s posthumous pardon. Good old Alan.
I think it absurd to appologise for the past, especially the distant past. We learn from the past, but we can not be held collectively responsible for it. The responsibilty for the actions of those who have gone before us lay with them, not us. Also you cannot judge those who have gone before us by todays standards or criteria.
Gerard Dilworth, Stratford upon Avon, United Kingdom
Indeed. As I keep pointing out to the missus, her entire gender has only been clever enough to vote since the 1920s, whereas men have been doing important stuff for centuries. We need to respect those wise men of the past. Except the gay ones.
72 comments speak your brane
Hypocrites and Racists11 Sep 2009 02:35 pm
Sarcasm and Irony for Beginners
By Alex
You know what, we’ve not had an good old straight-up racist fucknut-magnet thread for a while. Should the EU welcome more refugees? One of the more unorthodox answers comes from Glen Thomas, who I assume is transforming into some kind of white supremacist werewolf.
AAAARRRRGGGHHHH NNNOOOOOO!!!!
Glen Thomas
But rather than just roar, some HYSers have decided to use this topic to try out their dry, cutting wit, and that’s what we’re going to be learning about today.
What an absolutely splendid idea. Cut the number of illegal immigrants by allowing them to come over legally.
Could we please extend this to other crimes. The murder rate would be cut drastically if we made it legal to kill and the number of thefts slashed if we made it legal to help yourself to other peoples property.
Phil, Liverpool
You’ve made a bit of a mistake here Phil. You’ve gone and opened your sarcastic tirade with a very reasonable idea, one that we already do anyway by allowing any immigration at all. Then you’ve made a massive jump to something completely different. Doing that doesn’t make the idea look stupid, it makes you look stupid, and that’s not what you want from sarcasm. Let an expert show you: I see where you’re going with this. While we’re at it, let’s eradicate a terrible disease by cutting the cancer quota to zero and bring in an Australian-style points system for rape.
See? Much better. You could also try something like this, if you don’t mind being a cunt.
”They often rely on human traffickers and risk their lives as they try to enter the EU on rickety boats.”
Oh, my heart bleeds for them, sniff…
peter paxton
Some competent sarcasm there. But what a cunt. Somehow though, straight insults aren’t enough for me. I wanted to work out exactly how one achieves such world-beating sarky cuntishness, and I think I’ve got it. These two actually think immigration is a crime. Not just illegal immigration, all of it. They actually think that what basically amounts to moving house is a heinous act in and of itself. All that stuff about visas is just the government going a bit soft. From that viewpoint, there’s a delicious irony to immigrants drowning on their way to Europe. Poetic justice! You wanted to flood our green and pleasant land with yourselves, but now it is your own lungs which are flooding! Hoist by your own petard! Live by the boat, die by the boat! Peter Paxton, you’ve passed both sarcasm and irony with flying colours, simply by failing as a human being. You cunt.
Unfortunately these next two weren’t up to sarcasm and could only manage unintentional irony:
Right now, people all over Europe are remembering the 70th. Anniversary of the outbreak of WW2 – a monumental struggle to free Europe (and elsewhere) from the yoke of unbearable tyranny. And now along comes the “EU” with this notion.
Remind me – what did so many die in WW2 for?
The “EU” must be stopped. Now. No ifs, buts nor maybes. Abolished. Thrown into the dustbin of History. Period.
[NewsMonitor]
You’ve got to admit he does it well though. I can’t help but admire anyone who can wax lyrical about how noble it was of us to fight Hitler and then call an ineffective trading bureaucracy that lets people flee to Britain “unbearable tyranny”. It just goes to show, nothing helps you with unintentional irony like having absolutely no sense of perspective whatsoever. Though he’ll never quite be the mack daddy of the discipline:
No, the UK should not welcome more refugees.
Queue the swivel eyed leftys and their personal attacks, devoid of an argument.
g mitchell, kent
Good point. An internet discussion forum is no place for unjustified assertions, straw-man arguments and hypocritical ad hominem attacks.
74 comments speak your brane
Credulous Nincompoops and Unfocused Rage09 Sep 2009 01:31 pm
gold-plated pensions
By Alex
Thanks to Alan for pointing me at the thread on state pensions rising to seventy.
UNLESS YOUR A PUBLIC SERVANT, then its somewhere around 52 with FULL GOLD PLATED PENSION paid for by the tax from my state pension and savings…SHOCKING!
MPS, COUNCILORS, TEACHERS, POLICE, FIRE, etc…all should work until the same age…if they can’t work in the front line then they should be forced to do voluntary or desk jobs to earn their GOLD PLATED PENSIONS
MillerMan UKIP, Staford, United Kingdom
I’m sorry MillerMan UKIP, I can’t quite follow your point exactly. Could you highlight the key words, maybe in bold or underlined, just to make it a bit clearer to the layman?
Why do you think that the elderly will not be getting the swine flue vaccination this is the governments hope that they all die off so they can save on their pensions and othe social security benifits thereby saving the treasury money. Back in the 60’s they used to secretly spray the population with biological germs just to test how they would work out in a crowded environment as I do not trust the government whats to say they have not created this one to save the treasury money on pensions
[johnilmalin1], Edinburgh, United Kingdom
And as we’ve seen before, it’s the public sector which costs the most on pensions. Don’t be surprised if the government tries to infect the NHS by directing sufferers to hospitals and doctors’ surgeries.
I’ll give the last word to Alan though, as it’s genius and made me wee myself a bit: John has not made it entirely clear whether ’swine flue’ is a biological, non-bio or coloursafe germ.
144 comments speak your brane
Armchair Generals and The Regular Twats08 Sep 2009 09:25 am
Massive Horny War
By Nelson
Something about war.
“Declaration of war by Great Britain was not followed up with any military actions against Germany. Poland was abandoned by its allies…Why do we always say that Great Britain declared the war on Germany if it sat still and did not help its friend?
Marcin, Hartford, CT”
The fact is, we could not defend Poland as it was too far away, across hostile territory and we didn’t have the means. If wishes were horses, eh?
potato lord, cardiff
You’d have shit horses.
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The Twat-O-Tron
spEak You’re bRanes © 2009 | FastTrack
Oh no, not the farking blah filter again. *sigh*
Just saying. Again.
twat
I believed the hype.
Seriously, what?
BNP=Nazi
The only good Nazi is a dead Nazi
blah
wankers
ponces
cunt
Griffinponce
BNP are traitors
nazi
Confused?
cunt
I love Britain
BNP = Hate
Is there anyone the BNP doesn’t hate?
Please continue to prove our point.
Best to leave them to it I suppose…
hahahahhaaaaa er…
At the risk of entering into some sort of actual debate (which I know is not what we’re here for). To all those who have stumbled here and decided to spout their racist, borderline sociopathic howlings in that hope that we’ll all say: “Why, I can’t believe I’ve never looked at it that way before! You’ve opened my eyes and now I can find room in my heart to hate all brown people” just take a moment, please…
You know I was going to say something about being Christian and yet not actually in the IRA, but it’s all gone a bit blah. Instead, I’ll settle for: “Please cock off back to SYB you gargantuan gorilla’s gungebuckets.”
RSS Feed Reading
Dirty dirty dirty bastards
They do have a point you know!
Boobies
So There
Could not of put it better myself.
The Perfect Storm approaches as reptile leaders Netanyahoo, Barak and Peres plan out the critical false flag event that they will need to force America into attacking Iran for them, just as they did with Afghanistan and Iraq.
Iran has no nuclear weapons program, Israel does and Israel lets no weapons inspectors into their facilities. They are not a signatory to the nuclear arms pact while everyone else in the world seems to be. Meanwhile Israel practices daily genocide upon the indigenous residents of the land which they have forced into ghettos that are ringed by murderous settlers who use them for target practice
The boogeyman is appearing everywhere all of a sudden. The dead Bin Laden is making speeches, moon-walking like Baron Samedi or an Egyptian mummy if you prefer that image. Ayman al-Zawahri is broadcasting from an undisclosed location as an unidentified Mossad or CIA agent and the non-existent Al Qaeda is marching over mountains and across the seas and even walking in sky as they trot out their state of the art communications system that has everyone in the non-existent organization in constant contact with all their non-existent associates.
The FBI keeps getting caught running false flag operations and had the misfortune of lying to the New York City Police Commissioner who swept into the ‘setup’ and found… wait for it… nothing at all. Now the FBI is leaking all sorts of embarrassing information about New York City cops as a payback.
The economy is in the toilet. The Federal Reserve says they are not going to let investigators look at their cooked books. Apparently, the Rothschild’s, who own the Federal Reserve and J.P. Morgan and maybe the whole world (who knows?) aren’t happy with the demands that they show the world how much they’ve been stealing and for how long. The last time there was pressure for transparency with The Fed, ‘somebody’ shot the president.
The stock market is a marvel to behold. There’s no reason for it to be going up and so on and so forth, so we have to assume that Goldman Sachs and their kindred from the deep places in Mordor are artificially stroking the market until they can get to the point where they can unload all that useless paper on the public yet again.
Mikhail Shashkavili is swaggering around like a belligerent drunk at 5’ 2” and a hundred and twenty pounds, making noises like he’s going to have a cage match with a 900 pound bear. Georgia is one big Zionist summer camp so it’s no surprise what’s going on there.
Over and over the crack whore press repeats the lie that Ahmanedijad has threatened to wipe Israel off the map. Over and over they get busted for lying and they’re still at it. We’re hearing the usual lies about thousands of people being tortured and murdered in secret Iranian prisons. We’re hearing about how the election was fraudulent but it wasn’t. We’ve heard that Ahmanedijad is more dangerous that Hitler and yadda, yadda.
There’s only one predator nation that is responsible for all of the Mid-East chaos and that is Israel. They casually murder Palestinian women and children in front of the world; you are not allowed to believe your lying eyes. The Palestinians are squeezed into ever smaller areas while being denied medical treatment, food, well… anything they need they are denied. They are harvesting the organs of these captive people as if they were livestock and there was a demand for sweetbreads. It could be a culinary thing. It doesn’t have to be transplants. You have to analyze what would be the most evil thing and then you pretty much have it.
Anyone who can drop a million cluster bombs on the people of Lebanon AFTER peace had been agreed on is capable of anything; Bombing UN outposts? No problem. Driving large extended families out of their residences and machine-gunning them down in the streets? All in a days work. Strapping children to the hoods of their vehicles, while they look for people with white flags to assault with white phosphorus and DIME weapons, it’s a piece of cake.
This is the time of unveiling so we are seeing it all. The psychopaths are exposing themselves by their behavior each and every day. The whole world is coming to see what’s happening. An arrogant moron who was not legally elected once is replaced by a Mr. Slick who was going to put an end to the warmongering and… he expanded the operations.
High ranking members of the CIA went on record and said there was no Al Qaeda. It was a creation of the neo-cons that acted as a straw man for a public with straw in their heads. Members of intelligence services around the world; in Italy, Japan and other locations have all said that 9/11 was an Inside Job. Moving right along…
Like I said, this is a time of unveiling. This ‘is’ The Apocalypse and time is getting short for the long time miscreants who have visited so much suffering and terror upon people around the world. They’ve got thirty balls in the air as well as some chainsaws and flaming bowling pins and they’re coming down the street talking about Swine Flu; Al Qaeda, Pakistani insurgents, Iranian nuclear weapons programs and anything they can think of in a desperate attempt to get you to believe that they are not the responsible parties behind just about every bad thing going on anywhere at any time.
It seems to me that you have to be honest to see the truth. If you are not honest then your perspective is skewered by your dishonesty and denial. This is why they can’t tell the truth and why a certain portion of the public can’t believe the truth. Every day the magnitude of the lies and the dreadful behavior of the few are being seen more widely and more deeply into.
Given all of the things I’ve pointed out here it seems pretty certain that any day now… any day now they are going to launch a series of violent actions that can be blamed on the people they want to destroy because… because that is what they do. They kill and maim. They bankrupt and release diseases and toxins. They’re made differently than you or I. They aren’t human. They wear the mask but a beast is behind the mask. It’s an ancient thing that has moved through the human herd for centuries and centuries. It’s coming out now and they don’t know what to make of it. They managed well over the years as they set traps and practiced treachery, accusing whomever they pleased of the actions they committed themselves. Things aren’t going according to plan though.
Wherever you are is wherever you are. I don’t know what to tell you about that. I’d stay out of the cities though. These people are serious and completely devoid of conscience. Look at what they have done in previous decades. When you can print the money you can call the tune. When you can print the money you can decide who gets the money. Since no one can see what you are doing you can do anything you want. It’s a nice setup.
I don’t know how it’s going to shake out but it’s coming to a head. I can’t lose the feeling that they are going to shoot themselves in the foot. The cat’s been out of the bag for awhile now. The awareness of the sleeping public increases every day. They’ve got away with it for a long time. Maybe they will continue to and maybe they won’t. I’m thinking there’s more going on than they or we know about. We’ll see.
Hitler liked golden showers.
i bum foxes i touch children
Blah Blah Blah
U K I P
yet another slating of the bnp by harriet harperson, when will nick griffin MEP be on the panel and allowed to answer for himself? “you must be white caucasian to join their party” what about the british muslim council or the black policeofficers commission, do they allow non muslim or whites to join?? i think not! why is everyone so scared of the bnp? is it because they think if they are given a platform it may just boost their membership even more???? what what
Good Point!
100 comment milestone
!halB !halB !halB !halB !halB !halB !halB !halB !halB !halB !halB !halB !halB
I’m backward.
COWARDS! LEAVING YOUR FUCKING MESSAGES IN YOUR NAMES! FACE THE FILTER LIKE MEN!!!
indeed.
Sheriff Fatman.
Vote UKIP for a brighter future.
Blarr
BNP Blah
minge
gash
Send immigrants home
SYB infidels die
You haven’t thought this through, have you?
Wake up.
Lefty numbnuts
Thick shits
Preserve BNP fuckwittery for posterity!
Belsen was a gas
Help!
Sandwich filling: Bummed fox.
Yes actually I think you’ll find that I do bum foxes and vote Labour and I once touched John Adair.
gollywogs on jam jars
lsdhjlkhglhkgslhs
Badgering foxed arses
Thanks!
Hehe. Balls.
Ha! Ha! Ha!
bumming foxes and john adair nightly.
Vote Mutant.
cowabunga
Blur
I love right wing cock me.
Nicky G wanks dogs
On the BNP,
BRING IT ON
Nazi twats
Has the Blah filter gone?
Kill the UAF
The Liberals are running scared now, multicultralism and political correctness are about to become history. White is right.
Run Run Run
Vote Now
Notice the predominant colour, plus the Gurka’s
Google BBC London streetcrime, Knifecrimes, drugpushers and home terrorism for many more examples,
Blah twats
Haven’t been on this site in months, what the fuck is this shit?
blah?
YOU ARE SO RIGHT ABOUT THAT.
omfg
Topsy rules
Damn keyboard
150
And I was worth every penny.
Foxes are asking for it.
he has a 14 inch black cock
alright
Vote communism!
I bum TopsyTurvey
Look at me Topsy Turvey, I’m dancing!
Comment here
Bogbrush
Cowards
Pubes
BNP=Broke
Let me at ‘em
C4n 1 35c4p3 t3h b14h f1lt3r w1th l33t?
blarcgghh
Gordon Brown saviour of the Brown coloured people
Told you!
cock
Homo.
shitabrick
word
Cunty McCuntbags
robocock
Christopher Robin spent a long time gathering up his friends and his toys.
“Silly ol’ bear,” Christopher Robin mumbled through his tears as he picked up the tattered rag doll his best friend has left upon his passing. He looked all around but couldn’t find Gopher — but with the pickaxe laying so close to the bodies he wasn’t sure he wanted to. The next day Christopher Robin brought his toys to town where he begged and pleaded with the toysmith to repair his torn and burned friends. It took the toysmith three days to replace the parts and sew the holes and enchant them with the spells that a toysmith knows and only a child can see. And for three days Christopher Robin fretted and waited and was very sad. But after the three days… after the three days, Christopher Robin went back into town. All of his friends were there and looked wonderful! Even Eeyore’s tail was tacked on tight like the first day he came home to the Hundred Acre Woods! Christopher Robin was so happy that he ran all the way back home, Kanga and Roo and Pooh and Rabbit and Tigger and Eeyore and of course little Piglett tucked into a large wicker basket Christopher Robin carried in his arms.
Everything was right with the world. And with the new bodies came fresher minds and the denizens of the Hundred Acre Wood forgot about their little trees — except for Pooh who could feel the rumblings in his tummy every so often and Kanga who would help him whenever she could.
AND POOH WAS A GREAT FATHER TO ROO AND OWL CAME BACK BECAUSE I LIED BEFORE AND A NEW GOPHER SHOWED UP THAT WASN’T A RAPIST AND WHISTLED TWICE AS AWESOMELY
What ho! Have the HYS-ers found their way out of their circle-jerk or summat?
No.
hi there, really sorry about all those person a and b comments, they all turned to blah at the time so i just went cntrl a cntrl v. now blahs gone off it looks fucking massive and makes no sence ):