Thanks to Jamie. On the spate of suicides at France Télécom:
Walter Ellis wrote:
Orange took three weeks to reconnect internet access to our house in France this summer. This followed a period when, in spite of the fact that I was paying their bills by direct debit, they denied I was even a customer. Soon after, when the line broke down, it took another three weeks to have it repaired. Today, when I tried to suspend the service once more until our return next May, I was told I could not do this over the internet or by phone. I could only do it by writing a letter. Perhap, just to be sure, I should send a carrier pigeon.
You know if you want anyone to take your suffering seriously, there’s only one thing for you to do.
101 Responses to “Tragic Story”
I’m fed up with all the bumming that us foxes are getting. We all know what’s gonna happen here…
Feck Blah
communism for ever
British National Party
Cunt.
Vote Mutant
Suicide is painless
Jibbidy nurgal tromk.
Flippity trip oven.
I have three shoes.
We will win
blah BNP blahhhhhhhhhhARGH.
Griffin will eat Straw for breakfast.
On the surface of the world right now there is
war and violence and things seem dark.
But calmly and quietly, at the same time,
something else is happening underground
An inner revolution is taking place
and certain individuals are being called to a higher light.
It is a silent revolution.
From the inside out. From the ground up.
This is a Global operation.
A Spiritual Conspiracy.
There are sleeper cells in every nation on the planet.
You won’t see us on the TV.
You won’t read about us in the newspaper
You won’t hear about us on the radio
We don’t seek any glory
We don’t wear any uniform
We come in all shapes and sizes, colors and styles
Most of us work anonymously
We are quietly working behind the scenes
in every country and culture of the world
Cities big and small, mountains and valleys,
in farms and villages, tribes and remote islands
You could pass by one of us on the street
and not even notice
We go undercover
We remain behind the scenes
It is of no concern to us who takes the final credit
But simply that the work gets done
Occasionally we spot each other in the street
We give a quiet nod and continue on our way
During the day many of us pretend we have normal jobs
But behind the false storefront at night
is where the real work takes a place
Some call us the Conscious Army
We are slowly creating a new world
with the power of our minds and hearts
We follow, with passion and joy
Our orders come from the Central Spiritual Intelligence
We are dropping soft, secret love bombs when no one is looking
Poems ~ Hugs ~ Music ~ Photography ~ Movies ~ Kind words ~
Smiles ~ Meditation and prayer ~ Dance ~ Social activism ~ Websites
Blogs ~ Random acts of kindness…
We each express ourselves in our own unique ways
with our own unique gifts and talents
Be the change you want to see in the world
That is the motto that fills our hearts
We know it is the only way real transformation takes place
We know that quietly and humbly we have the
power of all the oceans combined
Our work is slow and meticulous
Like the formation of mountains
It is not even visible at first glance
And yet with it entire tectonic plates
shall be moved in the centuries to come
Love is the new religion of the 21st century
You don’t have to be a highly educated person
Or have any exceptional knowledge to understand it
It comes from the intelligence of the heart
Embedded in the timeless evolutionary pulse of all human beings
Be the change you want to see in the world
Nobody else can do it for you
We are now recruiting
Perhaps you will join us
Or already have
All are welcome
The door is open………
Love to you my brothers and sisters
Felchjuice
Ninky Nonk
Griffin touched my bum.
deadfuckedsite.
What I say is (and I am noen roehorn or culkilt permit me to tell you, if uninformed),I never spont it.
Home About Contact The Twat-O-Tron
spEak You’re bRanes
“If you love Afghanistan so much..
why don’t you go live there?”Delusions of Grandeur and Outsiders30 Sep 2009 01:25 pm
Tragic Story
By Alex
Thanks to Jamie. On the spate of suicides at France Télécom:
Walter Ellis wrote:
Orange took three weeks to reconnect internet access to our house in France this summer. This followed a period when, in spite of the fact that I was paying their bills by direct debit, they denied I was even a customer. Soon after, when the line broke down, it took another three weeks to have it repaired. Today, when I tried to suspend the service once more until our return next May, I was told I could not do this over the internet or by phone. I could only do it by writing a letter. Perhap, just to be sure, I should send a carrier pigeon.
You know if you want anyone to take your suffering seriously, there’s only one thing for you to do.
19 comments hide
19 Responses to “Tragic Story”
on 30 Sep 2009 at 1:35 pm Vote for foxes?
I’m warble up blah blarb blah baa that blah baa blah blah. blahdy blah blahdy what’s blahdy happen baa
on 30 Sep 2009 at 1:36 pm I see a new thread, and the fecking Blah filter is still on-booooo
Feck Blah
on 30 Sep 2009 at 2:09 pm Have I got here before the Nazis?
I’ve got blah blah blahdy you know.
on 30 Sep 2009 at 2:16 pm I will be commiting suicide if Gordon Brown wins another term, vote BNP and save my life!
blahdy’blahdy got blah warble blah baa know.
on 30 Sep 2009 at 2:18 pm Michael E wrote: I’m no expert on France but my initial reaction to this story is that perhaps the nanny state has made these people too soft.
Cunt.
on 30 Sep 2009 at 3:13 pm I’ve got a holiday home, so fuck you plebs.
I’ve blah blah own blog blahdy know.
on 30 Sep 2009 at 3:13 pm I like to vote Labour can anyone help me?
blah’blah off for another blah
on 30 Sep 2009 at 3:39 pm Blah Barble Blardy Sheep
Jibbidy nurgal tromk.
on 30 Sep 2009 at 3:40 pm Blah Barble Blardy Sheep
I touch children.
on 30 Sep 2009 at 3:40 pm Blah Barble Blardy Sheep
I have three shoes.
on 30 Sep 2009 at 3:56 pm I cannot wait for The BRITISH NATIONAL PARTY to take power.
We will win
on 30 Sep 2009 at 4:27 pm No you won’t (Bitch Special)
I’m blahdy for another warble
on 30 Sep 2009 at 4:32 pm Jack Straw V Nick Griffin, Question time, cant wait
Griffin will warble blah blahdy blah.
on 30 Sep 2009 at 4:35 pm Read the Feed
I vote Labour!
on 30 Sep 2009 at 6:44 pm Jack Straw V Nick Griffin, it’s Stalin V Hitler again, hope they both lose
Felchjuice
on 30 Sep 2009 at 7:08 pm If anything, these lies have started making me a bit of a fan of the BNP. Any political party which is lied about and reviled as much as the BNP must have something up its sleeve that is going to rock the boat, and I’d like to find out what.
Ninky Nonk
on 30 Sep 2009 at 7:15 pm Rube
Griffin touched my bum.
on 30 Sep 2009 at 7:55 pm It’s fucked, give it up. This site is dead.
blarb.
on 30 Sep 2009 at 9:52 pm ontic gash
baa blahdy blahdy is blarb blahdy am blah roehorn blarb culkilt blah blah blah blah you if baa blah blah barble.
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Miscellaneous Prats23 Sep 2009 03:18 pm
Pre-Prepared Comedy Answers
By Alex
Where now for the Sugababes?
They should get Lemmie from Mortorhead in the line up , now he would make it interesting. With his music writing abilities , years of experience in the industry, could teach them how to live rock n roll & do it For real !! They could change the band name to Sugg’a Daddy then ?? Least the music might sound better. Maybe their ace of hearts would compliment his ace O’ spades ??
Now that wud be sweet !!
Simon Joe Brown, Pontefract, United Kingdom
I look forward to hearing your views on the future of the Church of England.
176 comments speak your brane
Armchair Generals and Delusions of Grandeur and Permanently Bewildered18 Sep 2009 05:00 pm
Historian
By Nelson
Blah blah missile defence.
Those of you who bash the US constantly for being “warmongers” would be wise to remember the last two times our country was asked to step in a save your bacon. The kind of resentment seen from some in Europe resembles that of a spoiled child who hates Daddy, even though all the child has, in some way or another, he owes to Daddy’s sacrifices in the past. War is never going to end – it is an unfortunate part of human nature. So show some respect to those who have the power to rescue you…
Dave, Pittsburgh
Right, I’m off on holiday for a couple of weeks. Bye.
76 comments speak your brane
Permanently Bewildered17 Sep 2009 03:40 pm
Reynard The Fox-bummer
By Nelson
The Guardian is running a poll to find out who would be the nation’s favourite celebrity headteacher. David Tennant is winning at the mo.
Thanks to Jane for spotting “Reynardmandrake” taking the opportunity to Make A Point.
Don’t forget Christopher Eccleston – both he and David Tennant would make excellent teachers. I can see them now – teaching children how to think for themselves and to look at the mind as a growing thing – not as a receptacle for NuLabour philosophy.
The mind is “bigger on the inside than on the outside.”
Oh Yessssss!!!
reynardmandrake
Jane says “I like the Churchill quote at the end”.
44 comments speak your brane
Credulous Nincompoops and Curtain Twitchers15 Sep 2009 11:42 am
Git
By Nelson
Thanks to David for finding this one. It’s from a Times Online article about some ex-pat American bird’s struggle to decide whether her daughter should spend more time in the English countryside (feeding horses) or over in Texas (swimming in the Gulf of Mexico). I guess there are some decisions that nobody can help you with. The comment thread is full of people trying though. They’re mostly offering spectacularly generic advice about “being yourself”. Good call.
And then there’s this.
You are lucky in that you can leave the UK and escape the opressive tyranny that is the EU. The rest of us are stuck here. Believe me, your ‘get ouf jail free’ card is well worth it. If it was up to me, I would out of here before it is too late. The comparisons with the Soviet Union are very real. Keep your eyes and ears open and be ready to move.
Anthony Farrar
I love these ones. Anthony is a short step away from turning into my absolute favourite kind of long-suffering, middle class twat by proclaiming that he’s “ready to fight”. The only thing these fat-fingered gits are likely to end up fighting over is a fucking parking space.
86 comments speak your brane
Permanently Bewildered14 Sep 2009 09:22 am
Wise Men
By Nelson
From the (largely quite pleasant) thread on Alan Turing’s posthumous pardon. Good old Alan.
I think it absurd to appologise for the past, especially the distant past. We learn from the past, but we can not be held collectively responsible for it. The responsibilty for the actions of those who have gone before us lay with them, not us. Also you cannot judge those who have gone before us by todays standards or criteria.
Gerard Dilworth, Stratford upon Avon, United Kingdom
Indeed. As I keep pointing out to the missus, her entire gender has only been clever enough to vote since the 1920s, whereas men have been doing important stuff for centuries. We need to respect those wise men of the past. Except the gay ones.
72 comments speak your brane
Hypocrites and Racists11 Sep 2009 02:35 pm
Sarcasm and Irony for Beginners
By Alex
You know what, we’ve not had an good old straight-up racist fucknut-magnet thread for a while. Should the EU welcome more refugees? One of the more unorthodox answers comes from Glen Thomas, who I assume is transforming into some kind of white supremacist werewolf.
AAAARRRRGGGHHHH NNNOOOOOO!!!!
Glen Thomas
But rather than just roar, some HYSers have decided to use this topic to try out their dry, cutting wit, and that’s what we’re going to be learning about today.
What an absolutely splendid idea. Cut the number of illegal immigrants by allowing them to come over legally.
Could we please extend this to other crimes. The murder rate would be cut drastically if we made it legal to kill and the number of thefts slashed if we made it legal to help yourself to other peoples property.
Phil, Liverpool
You’ve made a bit of a mistake here Phil. You’ve gone and opened your sarcastic tirade with a very reasonable idea, one that we already do anyway by allowing any immigration at all. Then you’ve made a massive jump to something completely different. Doing that doesn’t make the idea look stupid, it makes you look stupid, and that’s not what you want from sarcasm. Let an expert show you: I see where you’re going with this. While we’re at it, let’s eradicate a terrible disease by cutting the cancer quota to zero and bring in an Australian-style points system for rape.
See? Much better. You could also try something like this, if you don’t mind being a cunt.
”They often rely on human traffickers and risk their lives as they try to enter the EU on rickety boats.”
Oh, my heart bleeds for them, sniff…
peter paxton
Some competent sarcasm there. But what a cunt. Somehow though, straight insults aren’t enough for me. I wanted to work out exactly how one achieves such world-beating sarky cuntishness, and I think I’ve got it. These two actually think immigration is a crime. Not just illegal immigration, all of it. They actually think that what basically amounts to moving house is a heinous act in and of itself. All that stuff about visas is just the government going a bit soft. From that viewpoint, there’s a delicious irony to immigrants drowning on their way to Europe. Poetic justice! You wanted to flood our green and pleasant land with yourselves, but now it is your own lungs which are flooding! Hoist by your own petard! Live by the boat, die by the boat! Peter Paxton, you’ve passed both sarcasm and irony with flying colours, simply by failing as a human being. You cunt.
Unfortunately these next two weren’t up to sarcasm and could only manage unintentional irony:
Right now, people all over Europe are remembering the 70th. Anniversary of the outbreak of WW2 – a monumental struggle to free Europe (and elsewhere) from the yoke of unbearable tyranny. And now along comes the “EU” with this notion.
Remind me – what did so many die in WW2 for?
The “EU” must be stopped. Now. No ifs, buts nor maybes. Abolished. Thrown into the dustbin of History. Period.
[NewsMonitor]
You’ve got to admit he does it well though. I can’t help but admire anyone who can wax lyrical about how noble it was of us to fight Hitler and then call an ineffective trading bureaucracy that lets people flee to Britain “unbearable tyranny”. It just goes to show, nothing helps you with unintentional irony like having absolutely no sense of perspective whatsoever. Though he’ll never quite be the mack daddy of the discipline:
No, the UK should not welcome more refugees.
Queue the swivel eyed leftys and their personal attacks, devoid of an argument.
g mitchell, kent
Good point. An internet discussion forum is no place for unjustified assertions, straw-man arguments and hypocritical ad hominem attacks.
74 comments speak your brane
Credulous Nincompoops and Unfocused Rage09 Sep 2009 01:31 pm
gold-plated pensions
By Alex
Thanks to Alan for pointing me at the thread on state pensions rising to seventy.
UNLESS YOUR A PUBLIC SERVANT, then its somewhere around 52 with FULL GOLD PLATED PENSION paid for by the tax from my state pension and savings…SHOCKING!
MPS, COUNCILORS, TEACHERS, POLICE, FIRE, etc…all should work until the same age…if they can’t work in the front line then they should be forced to do voluntary or desk jobs to earn their GOLD PLATED PENSIONS
MillerMan UKIP, Staford, United Kingdom
I’m sorry MillerMan UKIP, I can’t quite follow your point exactly. Could you highlight the key words, maybe in bold or underlined, just to make it a bit clearer to the layman?
Why do you think that the elderly will not be getting the swine flue vaccination this is the governments hope that they all die off so they can save on their pensions and othe social security benifits thereby saving the treasury money. Back in the 60’s they used to secretly spray the population with biological germs just to test how they would work out in a crowded environment as I do not trust the government whats to say they have not created this one to save the treasury money on pensions
[johnilmalin1], Edinburgh, United Kingdom
And as we’ve seen before, it’s the public sector which costs the most on pensions. Don’t be surprised if the government tries to infect the NHS by directing sufferers to hospitals and doctors’ surgeries.
I’ll give the last word to Alan though, as it’s genius and made me wee myself a bit: John has not made it entirely clear whether ’swine flue’ is a biological, non-bio or coloursafe germ.
144 comments speak your brane
Armchair Generals and The Regular Twats08 Sep 2009 09:25 am
Massive Horny War
By Nelson
Something about war.
“Declaration of war by Great Britain was not followed up with any military actions against Germany. Poland was abandoned by its allies…Why do we always say that Great Britain declared the war on Germany if it sat still and did not help its friend?
Marcin, Hartford, CT”
The fact is, we could not defend Poland as it was too far away, across hostile territory and we didn’t have the means. If wishes were horses, eh?
potato lord, cardiff
You’d have shit horses.
Germany was victorious in the war declared by Britain because she inflicted more harm compared to what she incurred.
wodgot, uk
Britain lost 400,000 in WW2. Germany lost between 6-8 million. The famous Luftwaffe raid on Coventry killed 800. At Hamburg the RAF killed 40,000 and at Dresden possibly 100,000. By the end of the war every major German city was reduced to cinders and their country occupied for 50 years. Germany lost very badly indeed.
[Peter_Sym], Nottingham
I made you a t-shirt.
177 comments speak your brane
Hypocrites and Outsiders03 Sep 2009 09:02 am
If You Can’t Say Anything Nice About Somebody, It’s Probably Melanie Phillips
By Nelson
The Daily Mail and its shitting bumwank of comment monkeys are all angry and confused again. This time it’s because Stewart Lee has done some very naughty material about Richard Hammond and his car crash.
I’m fairly convinced it’s the Daily Mail readers who are responsible for all those HYS comments that can’t distinguish between art and reality, whether that’s films, books, TV or comedy. No wonder it’s a bit light on culture. They probably get halfway through a play before running, screaming, to the nearest police station to breathlessly report that some Danish immigrant just knifecrimed Ophelia’s dad through a curtain.
Thanks to Rob for finding Lizzy here, merrily blathering away with so little self-awareness you wonder whether she was actually awake when she typed it.
I always follow this golden rule:
“If you can’t say something nice about somebody, don’t say anything at all.”
Thank goodness I’ve never seen this excuse for a human being – and, in future, I will go out of my way to miss him.
I hope his career goes straight down the toilet.
- Lizzy, W.London, 30/8/2009 3:04
“A” for effort, Lizzy. That was the best you could do.
I’ve not heard Stewart Lee’s current show so I don’t know what he was on about. I suspect he was either making a point about something, being very funny about something or, quite likely, both. I’m not sure how much I can be arsed to wish car crashes on Richard Hammond but I’m sure that I don’t subscribe to the idea proposed by the Daily Mail’s “readers” that Hammond’s car crash is something you “wouldn’t wish on anyone”. I don’t think there’s really anything in that category to be honest. Just try and think of something that you wouldn’t wish on anyone. Got it? Right, now imagine it happening to, say, Richard fucking Perle or Tony shitting Blair? Suddenly it’s ok isn’t it? In fact, I think I’ve mentioned before that I’d like people to stop using the phrase “I wouldn’t wish that on anyone” and replace it with the phrase “I wouldn’t wish that on anyone except Melanie Phillips” e.g.
A: Apparently, there’s a tropical disease that makes your nose go all flaky and drop off and then, where your nose used to be, you grow a little, poorly cock instead! Look, I found a picture of it on the fucking internet.
B: Urgh. I just sicked up in my mouth a little bit. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone except Melanie Phillips. I hope her nose falls off and then she grows a little, poorly cock there instead. A cock like a horrible toe.
389 comments speak your brane
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“If you love Afghanistan so much..
why don’t you go live there?”Delusions of Grandeur and Outsiders30 Sep 2009 01:25 pm
Tragic Story
By Alex
Thanks to Jamie. On the spate of suicides at France Télécom:
Walter Ellis wrote:
Orange took three weeks to reconnect internet access to our house in France this summer. This followed a period when, in spite of the fact that I was paying their bills by direct debit, they denied I was even a customer. Soon after, when the line broke down, it took another three weeks to have it repaired. Today, when I tried to suspend the service once more until our return next May, I was told I could not do this over the internet or by phone. I could only do it by writing a letter. Perhap, just to be sure, I should send a carrier pigeon.
You know if you want anyone to take your suffering seriously, there’s only one thing for you to do.
19 comments hide
19 Responses to “Tragic Story”
on 30 Sep 2009 at 1:35 pm Vote for foxes?
I’m warble up blah blarb blah baa that blah baa blah blah. blahdy blah blahdy what’s blahdy happen baa
on 30 Sep 2009 at 1:36 pm I see a new thread, and the fecking Blah filter is still on-booooo
Feck Blah
on 30 Sep 2009 at 2:09 pm Have I got here before the Nazis?
I’ve got blah blah blahdy you know.
on 30 Sep 2009 at 2:16 pm I will be commiting suicide if Gordon Brown wins another term, vote BNP and save my life!
blahdy’blahdy got blah warble blah baa know.
on 30 Sep 2009 at 2:18 pm Michael E wrote: I’m no expert on France but my initial reaction to this story is that perhaps the nanny state has made these people too soft.
Cunt.
on 30 Sep 2009 at 3:13 pm I’ve got a holiday home, so fuck you plebs.
I’ve blah blah own blog blahdy know.
on 30 Sep 2009 at 3:13 pm I like to vote Labour can anyone help me?
blah’blah off for another blah
on 30 Sep 2009 at 3:39 pm Blah Barble Blardy Sheep
Jibbidy nurgal tromk.
on 30 Sep 2009 at 3:40 pm Blah Barble Blardy Sheep
I touch children.
on 30 Sep 2009 at 3:40 pm Blah Barble Blardy Sheep
I have three shoes.
on 30 Sep 2009 at 3:56 pm I cannot wait for The BRITISH NATIONAL PARTY to take power.
We will win
on 30 Sep 2009 at 4:27 pm No you won’t (Bitch Special)
I’m blahdy for another warble
on 30 Sep 2009 at 4:32 pm Jack Straw V Nick Griffin, Question time, cant wait
Griffin will warble blah blahdy blah.
on 30 Sep 2009 at 4:35 pm Read the Feed
I vote Labour!
on 30 Sep 2009 at 6:44 pm Jack Straw V Nick Griffin, it’s Stalin V Hitler again, hope they both lose
Felchjuice
on 30 Sep 2009 at 7:08 pm If anything, these lies have started making me a bit of a fan of the BNP. Any political party which is lied about and reviled as much as the BNP must have something up its sleeve that is going to rock the boat, and I’d like to find out what.
Ninky Nonk
on 30 Sep 2009 at 7:15 pm Rube
Griffin touched my bum.
on 30 Sep 2009 at 7:55 pm It’s fucked, give it up. This site is dead.
blarb.
on 30 Sep 2009 at 9:52 pm ontic gash
baa blahdy blahdy is blarb blahdy am blah roehorn blarb culkilt blah blah blah blah you if baa blah blah barble.
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Miscellaneous Prats23 Sep 2009 03:18 pm
Pre-Prepared Comedy Answers
By Alex
Where now for the Sugababes?
They should get Lemmie from Mortorhead in the line up , now he would make it interesting. With his music writing abilities , years of experience in the industry, could teach them how to live rock n roll & do it For real !! They could change the band name to Sugg’a Daddy then ?? Least the music might sound better. Maybe their ace of hearts would compliment his ace O’ spades ??
Now that wud be sweet !!
Simon Joe Brown, Pontefract, United Kingdom
I look forward to hearing your views on the future of the Church of England.
176 comments speak your brane
Armchair Generals and Delusions of Grandeur and Permanently Bewildered18 Sep 2009 05:00 pm
Historian
By Nelson
Blah blah missile defence.
Those of you who bash the US constantly for being “warmongers” would be wise to remember the last two times our country was asked to step in a save your bacon. The kind of resentment seen from some in Europe resembles that of a spoiled child who hates Daddy, even though all the child has, in some way or another, he owes to Daddy’s sacrifices in the past. War is never going to end – it is an unfortunate part of human nature. So show some respect to those who have the power to rescue you…
Dave, Pittsburgh
Right, I’m off on holiday for a couple of weeks. Bye.
76 comments speak your brane
Permanently Bewildered17 Sep 2009 03:40 pm
Reynard The Fox-bummer
By Nelson
The Guardian is running a poll to find out who would be the nation’s favourite celebrity headteacher. David Tennant is winning at the mo.
Thanks to Jane for spotting “Reynardmandrake” taking the opportunity to Make A Point.
Don’t forget Christopher Eccleston – both he and David Tennant would make excellent teachers. I can see them now – teaching children how to think for themselves and to look at the mind as a growing thing – not as a receptacle for NuLabour philosophy.
The mind is “bigger on the inside than on the outside.”
Oh Yessssss!!!
reynardmandrake
Jane says “I like the Churchill quote at the end”.
44 comments speak your brane
Credulous Nincompoops and Curtain Twitchers15 Sep 2009 11:42 am
Git
By Nelson
Thanks to David for finding this one. It’s from a Times Online article about some ex-pat American bird’s struggle to decide whether her daughter should spend more time in the English countryside (feeding horses) or over in Texas (swimming in the Gulf of Mexico). I guess there are some decisions that nobody can help you with. The comment thread is full of people trying though. They’re mostly offering spectacularly generic advice about “being yourself”. Good call.
And then there’s this.
You are lucky in that you can leave the UK and escape the opressive tyranny that is the EU. The rest of us are stuck here. Believe me, your ‘get ouf jail free’ card is well worth it. If it was up to me, I would out of here before it is too late. The comparisons with the Soviet Union are very real. Keep your eyes and ears open and be ready to move.
Anthony Farrar
I love these ones. Anthony is a short step away from turning into my absolute favourite kind of long-suffering, middle class twat by proclaiming that he’s “ready to fight”. The only thing these fat-fingered gits are likely to end up fighting over is a fucking parking space.
86 comments speak your brane
Permanently Bewildered14 Sep 2009 09:22 am
Wise Men
By Nelson
From the (largely quite pleasant) thread on Alan Turing’s posthumous pardon. Good old Alan.
I think it absurd to appologise for the past, especially the distant past. We learn from the past, but we can not be held collectively responsible for it. The responsibilty for the actions of those who have gone before us lay with them, not us. Also you cannot judge those who have gone before us by todays standards or criteria.
Gerard Dilworth, Stratford upon Avon, United Kingdom
Indeed. As I keep pointing out to the missus, her entire gender has only been clever enough to vote since the 1920s, whereas men have been doing important stuff for centuries. We need to respect those wise men of the past. Except the gay ones.
72 comments speak your brane
Hypocrites and Racists11 Sep 2009 02:35 pm
Sarcasm and Irony for Beginners
By Alex
You know what, we’ve not had an good old straight-up racist fucknut-magnet thread for a while. Should the EU welcome more refugees? One of the more unorthodox answers comes from Glen Thomas, who I assume is transforming into some kind of white supremacist werewolf.
AAAARRRRGGGHHHH NNNOOOOOO!!!!
Glen Thomas
But rather than just roar, some HYSers have decided to use this topic to try out their dry, cutting wit, and that’s what we’re going to be learning about today.
What an absolutely splendid idea. Cut the number of illegal immigrants by allowing them to come over legally.
Could we please extend this to other crimes. The murder rate would be cut drastically if we made it legal to kill and the number of thefts slashed if we made it legal to help yourself to other peoples property.
Phil, Liverpool
You’ve made a bit of a mistake here Phil. You’ve gone and opened your sarcastic tirade with a very reasonable idea, one that we already do anyway by allowing any immigration at all. Then you’ve made a massive jump to something completely different. Doing that doesn’t make the idea look stupid, it makes you look stupid, and that’s not what you want from sarcasm. Let an expert show you: I see where you’re going with this. While we’re at it, let’s eradicate a terrible disease by cutting the cancer quota to zero and bring in an Australian-style points system for rape.
See? Much better. You could also try something like this, if you don’t mind being a cunt.
”They often rely on human traffickers and risk their lives as they try to enter the EU on rickety boats.”
Oh, my heart bleeds for them, sniff…
peter paxton
Some competent sarcasm there. But what a cunt. Somehow though, straight insults aren’t enough for me. I wanted to work out exactly how one achieves such world-beating sarky cuntishness, and I think I’ve got it. These two actually think immigration is a crime. Not just illegal immigration, all of it. They actually think that what basically amounts to moving house is a heinous act in and of itself. All that stuff about visas is just the government going a bit soft. From that viewpoint, there’s a delicious irony to immigrants drowning on their way to Europe. Poetic justice! You wanted to flood our green and pleasant land with yourselves, but now it is your own lungs which are flooding! Hoist by your own petard! Live by the boat, die by the boat! Peter Paxton, you’ve passed both sarcasm and irony with flying colours, simply by failing as a human being. You cunt.
Unfortunately these next two weren’t up to sarcasm and could only manage unintentional irony:
Right now, people all over Europe are remembering the 70th. Anniversary of the outbreak of WW2 – a monumental struggle to free Europe (and elsewhere) from the yoke of unbearable tyranny. And now along comes the “EU” with this notion.
Remind me – what did so many die in WW2 for?
The “EU” must be stopped. Now. No ifs, buts nor maybes. Abolished. Thrown into the dustbin of History. Period.
[NewsMonitor]
You’ve got to admit he does it well though. I can’t help but admire anyone who can wax lyrical about how noble it was of us to fight Hitler and then call an ineffective trading bureaucracy that lets people flee to Britain “unbearable tyranny”. It just goes to show, nothing helps you with unintentional irony like having absolutely no sense of perspective whatsoever. Though he’ll never quite be the mack daddy of the discipline:
No, the UK should not welcome more refugees.
Queue the swivel eyed leftys and their personal attacks, devoid of an argument.
g mitchell, kent
Good point. An internet discussion forum is no place for unjustified assertions, straw-man arguments and hypocritical ad hominem attacks.
74 comments speak your brane
Credulous Nincompoops and Unfocused Rage09 Sep 2009 01:31 pm
gold-plated pensions
By Alex
Thanks to Alan for pointing me at the thread on state pensions rising to seventy.
UNLESS YOUR A PUBLIC SERVANT, then its somewhere around 52 with FULL GOLD PLATED PENSION paid for by the tax from my state pension and savings…SHOCKING!
MPS, COUNCILORS, TEACHERS, POLICE, FIRE, etc…all should work until the same age…if they can’t work in the front line then they should be forced to do voluntary or desk jobs to earn their GOLD PLATED PENSIONS
MillerMan UKIP, Staford, United Kingdom
I’m sorry MillerMan UKIP, I can’t quite follow your point exactly. Could you highlight the key words, maybe in bold or underlined, just to make it a bit clearer to the layman?
Why do you think that the elderly will not be getting the swine flue vaccination this is the governments hope that they all die off so they can save on their pensions and othe social security benifits thereby saving the treasury money. Back in the 60’s they used to secretly spray the population with biological germs just to test how they would work out in a crowded environment as I do not trust the government whats to say they have not created this one to save the treasury money on pensions
[johnilmalin1], Edinburgh, United Kingdom
And as we’ve seen before, it’s the public sector which costs the most on pensions. Don’t be surprised if the government tries to infect the NHS by directing sufferers to hospitals and doctors’ surgeries.
I’ll give the last word to Alan though, as it’s genius and made me wee myself a bit: John has not made it entirely clear whether ’swine flue’ is a biological, non-bio or coloursafe germ.
144 comments speak your brane
Armchair Generals and The Regular Twats08 Sep 2009 09:25 am
Massive Horny War
By Nelson
Something about war.
“Declaration of war by Great Britain was not followed up with any military actions against Germany. Poland was abandoned by its allies…Why do we always say that Great Britain declared the war on Germany if it sat still and did not help its friend?
Marcin, Hartford, CT”
The fact is, we could not defend Poland as it was too far away, across hostile territory and we didn’t have the means. If wishes were horses, eh?
potato lord, cardiff
You’d have shit horses.
Germany was victorious in the war declared by Britain because she inflicted more harm compared to what she incurred.
wodgot, uk
Britain lost 400,000 in WW2. Germany lost between 6-8 million. The famous Luftwaffe raid on Coventry killed 800. At Hamburg the RAF killed 40,000 and at Dresden possibly 100,000. By the end of the war every major German city was reduced to cinders and their country occupied for 50 years. Germany lost very badly indeed.
[Peter_Sym], Nottingham
I made you a t-shirt.
177 comments speak your brane
Hypocrites and Outsiders03 Sep 2009 09:02 am
If You Can’t Say Anything Nice About Somebody, It’s Probably Melanie Phillips
By Nelson
The Daily Mail and its shitting bumwank of comment monkeys are all angry and confused again. This time it’s because Stewart Lee has done some very naughty material about Richard Hammond and his car crash.
I’m fairly convinced it’s the Daily Mail readers who are responsible for all those HYS comments that can’t distinguish between art and reality, whether that’s films, books, TV or comedy. No wonder it’s a bit light on culture. They probably get halfway through a play before running, screaming, to the nearest police station to breathlessly report that some Danish immigrant just knifecrimed Ophelia’s dad through a curtain.
Thanks to Rob for finding Lizzy here, merrily blathering away with so little self-awareness you wonder whether she was actually awake when she typed it.
I always follow this golden rule:
“If you can’t say something nice about somebody, don’t say anything at all.”
Thank goodness I’ve never seen this excuse for a human being – and, in future, I will go out of my way to miss him.
I hope his career goes straight down the toilet.
- Lizzy, W.London, 30/8/2009 3:04
“A” for effort, Lizzy. That was the best you could do.
I’ve not heard Stewart Lee’s current show so I don’t know what he was on about. I suspect he was either making a point about something, being very funny about something or, quite likely, both. I’m not sure how much I can be arsed to wish car crashes on Richard Hammond but I’m sure that I don’t subscribe to the idea proposed by the Daily Mail’s “readers” that Hammond’s car crash is something you “wouldn’t wish on anyone”. I don’t think there’s really anything in that category to be honest. Just try and think of something that you wouldn’t wish on anyone. Got it? Right, now imagine it happening to, say, Richard fucking Perle or Tony shitting Blair? Suddenly it’s ok isn’t it? In fact, I think I’ve mentioned before that I’d like people to stop using the phrase “I wouldn’t wish that on anyone” and replace it with the phrase “I wouldn’t wish that on anyone except Melanie Phillips” e.g.
A: Apparently, there’s a tropical disease that makes your nose go all flaky and drop off and then, where your nose used to be, you grow a little, poorly cock instead! Look, I found a picture of it on the fucking internet.
B: Urgh. I just sicked up in my mouth a little bit. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone except Melanie Phillips. I hope her nose falls off and then she grows a little, poorly cock there instead. A cock like a horrible toe.
389 comments speak your brane
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spEak You’re bRanes
A collection of ignorance, narcissism, stupidity, hypocrisy and bad grammar.
All the comments quoted were found on the BBC “Have Your Say” site. Yes, people really have written them. On purpose as far as I can tell.
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spEak You’re bRanes © 2009 | FastTrack
Testing testing 1 2 3 …
More testing more testing more testing
crap crap crap crap crap crap crap more crap pointless crap dull crap and more crap
Blairs babes
That people who are members of a lawful political party are afraid that, if for instance, they’re a policeman, they’ll be sacked just for their political beliefs.
“But don’t blame me for that. That’s the fault of the main political parties and the mass media – the BBC included – who seem to think that it’s OK to have a witch hunt against people who have different political views from themselves.”
Bum a fox for Jesus.
fuckpig
fuckarseBNPfucktwats
fuckemall
OUR COUNTRY
Kenan Malik accuses the mainstream parties of hypocrisy: demonising the BNP whilst at the same time appropriating some of its policies.
The liberal establishment, argues Kenan Malik, would do better to engage with the British National Party rather than give credibility to the BNP’s claim that it is the victim of a liberal conspiracy.
The ladies in question were all aware of your medical condition and knew that having a full on sapphic scissoring session would only end in your having a grand mal, and your likely demise.
What they did was all go into the flat next door and go at it like knives with each other until it smelt like Grimsby market on a Monday
Also worth noting that they were all straight until they met you.
Nick Griffin is the second coming, all hail him!
I don’t usually vote, because none of the politicians in this country do anything for me the single male, dare I say White English as well.
However I will be voting in the next general election, if only to get rid of Labour who have turned out to be just like the Tories of the 80s.
screwem screwem screwemall
I’m not scared of dying,
And I don’t really care.
If it’s peace you find in dying,
Well then let the time be near.
If it’s peace you find in dying,
And if dying time is here,
Just bundle up my coffin
‘Cause it’s cold way down there.
I hear that its cold way down their.
Yeah, crazy cold way down their.
And when I die, and when I’m gone,
There’ll be one child born
In this world to carry on,
to carry on.
Now troubles are many, they’re as deep as a well.
I can swear there ain’t no heaven but I pray there ain’t no hell.
Swear there ain’t no heaven and I pray there ain’t no hell,
But I’ll never know by living, only my dying will tell.
Yes only my dying will tell.
Yeah, only my dying will tell.
Give me my freedom for as long as I be.
All I ask of living is to have no chains on me.
All I ask of living is to have no chains on me,
And all I ask of dying is to go naturally.
Oh I want to go naturally.
Here I go,
Hey Hey!
Here comes the devil,
Right Behind.
Look out children,
Here he comes!
Here he comes! Hey…
Don’t want to go by the devil.
Don’t want to go by demon.
Don’t want to go by Satan,
Don’t want to die uneasy.
Just let me go naturally.
and when I die,
When I’m dead, dead and gone,
There’ll be one child born in our world to carry on,
To carry on.
Yeah, yeah
braaaaaaaalh! brahahahaa blah blah BLAH!
The conflict in Palestine.
cunts
Sharp political thinkers
I bum Griffin.
I bum Griffin
Clown.
Please come back Nelson.
Blah blah blah.
Cunty fucking cunts, the lot of ‘em.
Nick Griffin for Chief Fox Fluffer!
Blah?
pricks
tossers
cum monkeys
Spit licker
Shit rub
knobs
blah blah blah
Nick Griffin Wanks Dogs……and his wife
goat fucking for fun
I found myself agreeing with much of what he said in it, because I see much of what he says happening all around me. I am a single male and my prospects in life have been diminished in recent times, be that due to an influx of immigrants or just the way the country has been governed,
so there
This is why BNP are getting more votes and more publicity because the British people are not being listened to by the mainstream parties.
If the rest of the BNP’s polocies are as bad as people on here are saying then there will be no way I will vote for them, however the more frustrated Britons get with unchecked immigration, the more votes the BNP will receive!
sad little grief hole.
No hard feelings
Cunt
parasites
Maybe their first case should address age discrimination in the workplace and the fact that we have NO workers rights after age 65 in this country.
The average age of these overpaid judges appears to be 75 so no problems in that proffession. How are builders and plumbers and oil rig workers expected to earn a living at 70 when the government as spent thier pensions, waged the retirement age and is taxing them to death.
BBC Censorship
Oh yes.
Yep
Class war
Nick Griffin takes thai ladyboys reverse cowgirl
After 10 years of data being withheld that would allow true scientific replication, and after dozens of requests for that data, Steve McIntyre of Climate Audit finally was given access to the data from Yamal Peninsula, Russia. He discovered that only 12 trees had been used out of a much larger dataset of tree ring data. When the larger data set was plotted, there is no “hockey stick” of temperature, in fact it goes in the opposite direction
You know if you want anyone to take your suffering seriously, there’s only one thing for you to do.
BNP Felchers
Up the BNP
Have your say
Its true ya all
asdasd
Am I alone in thinking nanny state long suffering hard working Middle England lazy public sector non-jobs NEVER consider suicide Jesus loves you.
Twats…
So what if I want to go to France and spend all summer holiday wanking over amputee porn. How could anyone possibly survive a few days abroad without the interwebs. Then when I want to cancel it they won’t let me… Such a shitcunt
Wah.
barble blah foxes?
wow that came out like i wrote it. what’s going on?
Send ‘em back to Apefrica!
Lefty wankers
I bum war heroes
blah
Orange
Cowards
jews
BNP for the lose
AKBuxton
Leave our classics alone
Ottie the very unPC otter
Mohammed Pork
Lonely!
supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
Three Party dictatorship, who ever gets in, nothing changes except for the worse
Nil Craig for PM
Pubequake