Permanently Bewildered and Racists and The Regular Twats02 Oct 2009 06:51 pm

Could You Ever Get Angry Because of an Otter?

By Alex

That’s right, an otter. Could you not dredge up just a little bit of blind self-entitled fury? It plays cricket. Still nothing? Ok, what if I told you it was a new character in a much-loved series of children’s books? Still only managing mild irritation and a slight feeling of sadness? Alright then, what if I told you the otter was a woman?

Political correctness dictates that females must be shown to be as good at sport as males. I’m sure that Lottie will also have a disability and attend a mosque!
Why can’t children’s classics, that have been enjoyed by generations of children, be left as they are.

Anon

It’s a very good point Anon, but it just lacks that sparkle.

No doubt the new character will have to conform to the Governments equality requirements, and be a lesbian otter with one paw, who has sought asylum in the Wild Woods……

[CaptainOfTheGuard], Minas Tirith

One-legged black lesbian. Now there‘s a classic. You’ve even updated “one-legged” to one paw, and even though otters are all the same brownish colour anyway you’ve made it asylum seeking, so we know it’s foreign under its fur. You’re so good at whining to the internet about political correctness. Do you do it a lot?

A literary creation is the author’s property. To update or change it is like painting a moustache on the Mona Lisa, and anyone who does so should be prosecuted for vandalism.

[eaglette]

A bit excessive there. You use up all your raging thirst for draconian punishment now, you’ll have nothing left for when you find slash fiction.

Why tamper with much loved classics. A cricket loving female otter could be the character for a new book – there is no need to put a politically correct gloss onto everything. What next – a transvestite hamster?!

Anon

A bit better Anon. It’s not as deft as [CaptainOfTheGuard]‘s, but it’s unorthodox and I like that. Tell me more about this transvestite hamster. Does it dress up as a chinchilla? Does that arouse you?

Suffering “Pride & Prejudice ” at school, I would welcome the introduction of a new character in the first chapter of that awful book, ideally Jack The Ripper or Lizzie Bowden.

[Sproutaholic], Durham City, United Kingdom

Been done. Better. With zombies. Nice try though.

Should Stonehenge be rebuilt as a zero-carbon monument? Let’s leave our legacy of literature untouched, please. There’s no shortage of new ideas for entirely new books, so let’s leave our memories intact.

[Darkseid], New house rule: If an HYS mod doesn’t like your opinion, you get rejected, United Kingdom

I’m now picturing [Darkseid] walking very slowly around Stonehenge, trying to work out where it plugs in.

41 Responses to “Could You Ever Get Angry Because of an Otter?”

  1. on 02 Oct 2009 at 7:53 pm   Darkseid is officially an otter's orifice.

    …

  2. on 02 Oct 2009 at 7:56 pm   Steve

    I would like to hear [Darkseid]‘s theory on what makes Stonehenge a carbon emitting monument at the moment. THAT bad boy is going to be a classic….

  3. on 02 Oct 2009 at 7:56 pm   Oh bother. Didn't realise we're back to blah-ing.

    ,mnvsl

  4. on 02 Oct 2009 at 8:04 pm   I would like to hear [Darkseid]'s theory on what makes Stonehenge a carbon emitting monument at the moment. THAT bad boy is going to be a classic....

    Steve

  5. on 02 Oct 2009 at 8:46 pm   While we are at it, let's put a turban on eyore and make owl a gayer.This coul be an excellent thread,but thanks to the far far right, we still have blah

    Tigger bums foxes

  6. on 02 Oct 2009 at 9:37 pm   What have the far right done on this thread?

    Confused?

  7. on 02 Oct 2009 at 9:41 pm   christ, it's only a fucking book.

    warblewarblewarble.

  8. on 02 Oct 2009 at 11:39 pm   Sod otters. I want Mutant Space Weasels and I want them now!

    The fact that I don’t actually know what a Mutant Space Weasel is only makes me want them more.

  9. on 03 Oct 2009 at 12:39 am   "A literary creation is the author’s property." Not when the author's (a) sold the rights or (b) dead. FACT. The word, not the unexpectedly apposite acronym.

    I miss SYB. Sigh.

  10. on 03 Oct 2009 at 2:18 am   wow nearly all of the posts on that discussion are whinging about pc values, funny stuff

    blahdy blahdy blah warble warble

  11. on 03 Oct 2009 at 10:54 am   Lets stop kids reading and destroy all books then the world can be like a post 9/11 1984 crossed with farenheit 451, we're all doomed. Unless you just let them write the story and fucking shut up.

    Blahrzz

  12. on 03 Oct 2009 at 11:56 am   Fuckin' fucked-up fuckwitted fuckers

    Blah

  13. on 03 Oct 2009 at 1:58 pm   fuckin A

    wah blah

  14. on 03 Oct 2009 at 2:48 pm   Nothing will work except the complete closure of our borders and a forced repatriation of those who are here illegally. Also, a purge on the numbers of non-nationals taking benefits, and a forced repatriation of those people too. A decent border patrol wh

    Riots

  15. on 03 Oct 2009 at 4:03 pm   It's The House at Pooh Corner for real

    Vote Mutant

  16. on 03 Oct 2009 at 7:46 pm   Don't you mean HouseAtPoohCornerReturnsForReal?

    I bum one legged lesbian asylum seeker otters?

  17. on 04 Oct 2009 at 1:16 am   NYAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHH. FUCKING WOMEN OTTERS. NYAAAAGGGHHHH. HERMAN WOULDN'T HAVE LET IT HAPPEN!!!!

    FUCKING OTTER CUNTS.

  18. on 04 Oct 2009 at 1:27 am   How dare you promote diversity at the expense of young, white, male otters! No one is looking after their interests! Vote ONP!!! ONP looks after indigenous otters' interests!

    FUCKING OTTER BITCHES!

  19. on 04 Oct 2009 at 3:05 am   Pooh bear bums otters, FACT

    Pooh

  20. on 04 Oct 2009 at 3:44 am   i say chaps - only one overtly nazi comment all day - do you think it's safe to turn off blah yet?

    I VOTE OTTER

  21. on 04 Oct 2009 at 9:29 am   One Pawed Lesbian Moslem Disabled Otter

    I agree.

  22. on 04 Oct 2009 at 12:06 pm   nope, the blah filter is a bit like a nuke, it's supposed to destroy All comments, so we can start again, clean and happy. I think the first one lasted about 4 months

    HOW NOW BROWN COW GODOT LOVES U

  23. on 04 Oct 2009 at 1:56 pm   Dont forget question time, Nick Griffin will sort the job and be a step closer to winning the next election.

    Question time.

  24. on 04 Oct 2009 at 2:25 pm   I have just reconfigured an enigma machine to decode the Blah filter. Most of the comments are trying to persuade us to vote BNP.

    VOTE BNP

  25. on 04 Oct 2009 at 2:53 pm   Make Piglet a moslem. Pooh joins the BNP and sets Owl's Howse on Fire

    Pooh to lead BNP (Bear National Party)

  26. on 04 Oct 2009 at 6:03 pm   If you think darkies are equal to us look at the state of Africa, now we are importing third world conditions into this country. Vote BNP and stop it now.

    Africa slumland

  27. on 04 Oct 2009 at 10:59 pm   If you are sick of otters coming here stealing our wealth, vote BNP and make it stop. Pooh Bear

    Pooh Bear

  28. on 04 Oct 2009 at 11:16 pm   BNP sucks gay otter willies

    Gay otter for President!!!

  29. on 05 Oct 2009 at 8:30 am   Hello SYB

    ?

  30. on 05 Oct 2009 at 9:31 am   WE WANT OTTER REPRESENTATION ON QUESTION TIME. WE CAN'T LEAVE IT TO THE BNP OR CHANCE - WE CAN'T LET OTTER REPRESENTATION BE AN OTTERY.

    NEVAR 4GET.

  31. on 05 Oct 2009 at 10:05 am   goblin

    I’m not down with all this cool blah shit that goes on, but I will just point out that Kanga from the ORIGINAL CHUFFING BOOK was a single mum.

  32. on 05 Oct 2009 at 10:08 am   goblin

    blah blah blah

  33. on 05 Oct 2009 at 11:46 am   This is otterly ridiculous

    Vote Otter

  34. on 05 Oct 2009 at 12:25 pm   I don't suppose they noticed that Kanga is an apparently unemployed single mother

    BNP=filth

  35. on 05 Oct 2009 at 12:27 pm   And Pooh and Piglet are obviously gayers - they even have gay nicknames showing that Piglet is the top

    BNP=scum

  36. on 05 Oct 2009 at 12:38 pm   Pooh is a bender

    Otters

  37. on 05 Oct 2009 at 12:41 pm   After the lisbon treaty fiasco in Ireland, I will now definitely be voting BNP at the next election and No, I am not a racist.

    The only party that can save us now.

  38. on 05 Oct 2009 at 1:25 pm   ^^^^ No just you're not a racist, just a fuck wit!

    BNP Fuck otters

  39. on 05 Oct 2009 at 4:18 pm   goblin

    ‘Tigger’ is blatant racial prejudice, of course.

  40. on 06 Oct 2009 at 12:49 pm   pigfrottage

    It’s not like disney haven’t completely butchered Winnie the Pooh already anyway. All the rage about the otter is fitting a padlock to the stable door after the horse has gone to France and been eaten.

    If I’m right.

  41. on 15 Oct 2009 at 10:21 am   john Adair's Gerbil

    Actually, it’s about time we had a native animal instead of the sponging immigrants like Pooh, Tigger and the single parent familiy of Kanga and Roo.

    Living on state handouts – Pooh does nothing but steal from hardworking British bees, Tigger’s spaced out on speed. You couldn’t make it up.