Self-appointed Sages14 Oct 2009 08:46 am
By Gainsbourg

What do you think of Obama’s Nobel Prize?

He doesn’t deserve it—at least not yet. He should have politely and thankfully turned it down and asked people to check back with him in a few years.
Brian W

Yeah, after he’s taught Israel and Palestine that it’s fun to share, and persuaded Iran to manufacture cake instead of enriched uranium. Maybe then he could say, “hey, you know that big, fuck-off, once-in-about-a-thousand-lifetimes Jesus prize that I rejected a few years ago? Would you mind offering it to me again?”

48 Responses to “Nobelma”

  1. on 14 Oct 2009 at 8:54 am That Bloke in the Corner

    Of Course he deserves it. Old Brian W is just jealous that his plan for world peace hasn’t been embraced, probably a leftynuliaborestasibbc conspiracy.

  2. on 14 Oct 2009 at 8:55 am That Bloke in the Corner

    Woohoo First!
    Should really get on with some work now, this Nobel prize won’t win itself.

  3. on 14 Oct 2009 at 9:42 am Theodore

    There’s no prize for guessing what the W stands for.

  4. on 14 Oct 2009 at 10:58 am millie

    He should have politely and thankfully turned it down

    Nah, shoulda just told them to fuck off.

  5. on 14 Oct 2009 at 11:13 am jbd

    If Obama doesn’t want it then I will have it. It would look great on my CV. 3 GCSE C or above, an Intermediate GNVQ in Health and Social Care and The Nobel Peace Prize. Might be able to get that job at Morrisons with qualifications like that.

  6. on 14 Oct 2009 at 11:13 am Generalist

    His suggestion to Obama might be a bit silly, but his point (that Obama’s contribution to peace should be judged at the end of his presidency, not the beginning) is a fair enough one, isn’t it?

  7. on 14 Oct 2009 at 11:22 am chris

    Generalist, mate, common sense never leads to anything good around here. Stick to taking the piss. It really is the best way.

    The Nobel committee can give their money to whoever the fuck they like because it’s their money and not anyone else’s. When people stand around and make hilariously original jokes like “I’ve never started a war, where’s mine!” and “I hope I do something good, where’s mine!” the best response is to grab hold of your belly with both hands and go, “HAHAHAHAHAHA! I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE! YOU’RE DENIGRATING THE LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD BY COMPARING HIM TO YOU, A KNOW-NOTHING LITTLE TURDLING WHO REALLY HASN’T DONE ANYTHING OF NOTE EXCEPT SPILL HATEFUL BILE ALL OVER THE INTERNET BECAUSE YOU’RE TOO SCARED TO DO IT IN REAL LIFE! You’re funny. You should do stand-up.”

    The Nobel committee deserve a Nobel Peace Prize for occupying millions of people who would otherwise be advocating the chemical castration and forced repatriation of immigrants. Giving the prize to Obama was worth it only because it pissed the right people off.

  8. on 14 Oct 2009 at 11:43 am funny peculiar

    I agree Brian W’s post lacks the oomph of a top-class HYS post. It seems a mild comment to me. There’s a thread on HYS now about an airport scanner which takes a ‘naked’ image of the people it scans. Top Post is a visionary prediction of the future, HYS stylee…

    “I can see it all now. little old ladies being made to walk through the scanner whilst people in burkas not having to.”
    Creamfresh

    Recommended by 139 people

    THAT’s Oomph.

  9. on 14 Oct 2009 at 11:53 am Kitchen

    The peace prize is for making the effort, not things you’ve already accomplished.

    So, basically, it’s a crock of shite.

  10. on 14 Oct 2009 at 11:56 am chris

    Kitchen

    The peace prize is for making the effort, not things you’ve already accomplished.

    So, basically, it’s a crock of shite.

    And which country were you the first black president of?

    See what I did there?

  11. on 14 Oct 2009 at 12:04 pm jbd - still waitng for that 5 pound coin

    …but still if Henry Kissinger can win it…erm, yeah…you get my point though, right?

  12. on 14 Oct 2009 at 12:07 pm Kitchen

    @Chris: Well if you like the nobel peace prize so much, methinks you should go live in nobellia?

    If I’m right.

  13. on 14 Oct 2009 at 12:14 pm spungin imgrunt

    This made me think that however idiotic the people of HYS are, there are some louder, brasher and gut grindingly stoopider voices in the USA. Most of them work for Fox News in fact.

    http://mediamatters.org/mmtv/200910130016

  14. on 14 Oct 2009 at 1:08 pm Settle down class Professor Craig here

    If he manages to persuade the Israelis & Palestinians to permanent peace I don’t think there would have been much doubt about him getting a Nobel (or even a bar to the present one). The Iranians have a perfect right to enrich uranium for electricity production. The question is only whether they are doing it for Bombs.

  15. on 14 Oct 2009 at 1:09 pm dirigible

    Giving the prize to Obama was worth it only because it pissed the right people off.

    Genius. Can we get Richard Dawkins a prize next time? Or, if I have to piss myself off, Andrew Wakefield?

    #trafigura

  16. on 14 Oct 2009 at 1:21 pm That Bloke in the Corner

    If he manages to persuade the Israelis & Palestinians to permanent peace I don’t think there would have been much doubt about him getting a Nobel (or even a bar to the present one). The Iranians have a perfect right to enrich uranium for electricity production. The question is only whether they are doing it for Bombs.

    Bloody hell Neil, that’s a fair and sensible liberal-esque view. Are you feeling all right? I am shocked to actually find myself agreeing with you, need to go and have a wash now.

  17. on 14 Oct 2009 at 1:43 pm chris

    The Iranians have a perfect right to enrich uranium for electricity production. The question is only whether they are doing it for Bombs.

    Hmmm. Pledge to wipe Israel off the face of the Earth… want to enrich uranium…

    …hey, do you think they’re connected?

  18. on 14 Oct 2009 at 2:10 pm Henry Kissinger

    No one must know I dropped my glasses in the toilet. Not I, the man who drafted the Paris Peace Accords.

  19. on 14 Oct 2009 at 2:18 pm Apricot Split

    Hmmm. Pledge to wipe Israel off the face of the Earth… want to enrich uranium…

    …hey, do you think they’re connected?

    No, I don’t.
    To “wipe the state of Israel off the map” does not equate to nuking it. It equates to the removal/expulsion of the Jewish/Secular government, and replacing it with one in their image. Why would an Islamic Theocracy nuke an area which is so holy to Islam?

    That is not to say that Israel should not be very weary, to say the least.

  20. on 14 Oct 2009 at 2:29 pm chris

    Apricot Split

    To “wipe the state of Israel off the map” does not equate to nuking it. It equates to the removal/expulsion of the Jewish/Secular government, and replacing it with one in their image. Why would an Islamic Theocracy nuke an area which is so holy to Islam?

    That is not to say that Israel should not be very weary, to say the least.

    Weary in the same way I am when people defend a state’s right to acquire nuclear technology when that state calls for the destruction of other states and ruthlessly puts down revolutions after rigged elections? That kind of weary, or was that a typo?

    Here’s the thing about nuclear weapons, and then I’m bowing out because I’m breaking my own rules about arguing on the internet. Aside from the fact that Israel is more than Temple Mount, I’ll just leave it to Robert McNamara to clarify why nuclear weapons only have uses beyond the obvious use:

    “Nuclear weapons serve no military purposes whatsoever. They are totally useless — except only to deter one’s opponent from using them.”

  21. on 14 Oct 2009 at 2:31 pm hillhunt

    The pillock whon runs Biased BBC has already decided that women in burkas will refuse to use the whole-body X-rays.

    Now he’s campaigning to make them do something that they haven’t act actually refused to do.

    Still, he thinks Muzzie is a prfectly acceptable way to talk about Muslims. I’m sure some of his best friends are, erm, Muzzies.

  22. on 14 Oct 2009 at 3:06 pm Knife crimer with a free PS3

    And which country were you the first black president of?

    See what I did there?

    Yes, you spouted completely irrelevant bollocks.

    Anyway, everyone knows that Abraham Lincoln was the first black president.

  23. on 14 Oct 2009 at 3:23 pm Rotwatcher

    Nuclear weapons serve no military purposes whatsoever. They are totally useless — except only to deter one’s opponent from using them.

    Israel has nuclear weapons.

    Israel doesn’t like Iran.

    Iran doesn’t want to be nuked into next week by Israel.

    Do you see where I’m going with this?

  24. on 14 Oct 2009 at 3:30 pm millie

    Looks like we’re in for some serious mass debatin.

    *yawn*

  25. on 14 Oct 2009 at 3:51 pm Yossarian

    @millie

    I say lets nuke the debate!

    What do you mean the debate is enriching uranium… peaceful purposes my arse.

    Impose sanctions on the debate immediately until it comes round to our way of thinking!

  26. on 14 Oct 2009 at 3:56 pm That Bloke in the Corner

    Nukes, Schmukes, lets blow the whole thing up.They are all twatbaskets and Obama has still on the Nobel prize and naked X-ray scanners will still get installed and nuliabore are behind it all along with immugrunts and single mothers.
    Situation normal.

  27. on 14 Oct 2009 at 4:27 pm funny peculiar

    Oh… umm… ‘scuse me, I was looking for the Speak Your Branes evening session? I guess it must have been switched to a different room. Apologies for disturbing your sixth-form politics class, Professor Craig. Nuclear States and Israel, eh? How fascinating.

    *leaves, muttering…* you insufferable staffroom windbag.

  28. on 14 Oct 2009 at 4:40 pm Johnny No Pants

    Nuke the whales! Gotta nuke something!

  29. on 14 Oct 2009 at 4:42 pm That Bloke in the Corner

    There is a classic HYS twatbasket field day on at the moment on the Govt spending 12m to revive depressed and alienated areas. It is just like SYB when the blah filter was on-here is a taster.

    How strange the government has suddenly named 27 alienated areas. I thought that when Labour came into power and in the 12 years since they had done away with hardship and depressed areas so we’ve been told. It further proves that by letting thousands of illegal immigrants into the country unchecked and uncontrolled it has turned parts of this country into the very same living conditions and reasons, deprivation, hardship and poverty, why these people fled to the UK for. A better life!

    John, Wilts

  30. on 14 Oct 2009 at 4:46 pm Limni

    I say we take off and nuke the site from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.

  31. on 14 Oct 2009 at 4:47 pm fucko the clown

    ohhhhhhh the Blah filter has been lifted, sorry, behind the times thought the blah was for ever.

    Did Obama get the prize for installing a global blah filter?

  32. on 14 Oct 2009 at 4:56 pm Apricot Split

    Christ! All I said was that no-one is nuking anyone, not even single mums with their feral offspring.
    The one occasion where Neil Craig said something sensible and it still descends into yet another clone of … whatever.

    Let’s nuke the Nobel committee, or not. Who cares!?

  33. on 14 Oct 2009 at 5:17 pm Yossarian

    That would just be ridiculous.

  34. on 14 Oct 2009 at 5:19 pm miguel

    @fucko, We’ve missed u…
    P.s the blah filter was turned off yonks ago, and then turned back on again…

  35. on 14 Oct 2009 at 5:19 pm funny peculiar

    from a Daily Mail Incapacity Benefit hate-athon…

    How do WE know who is claiming a bebefit??????? There should be a list of benefit claiments in the local post office . Then we can imform the authorities if we think they should NOT beclaiming a benefit!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    - MEL, sandwich ENGLAND,

    England! England! Uber Alles!
    Uber Alles, In-ger-land!

  36. on 14 Oct 2009 at 5:22 pm Alex

    Weary in the same way I am when people defend a state’s right to acquire nuclear technology when that state calls for the destruction of other states and ruthlessly puts down revolutions after rigged elections?

    So that’s a bollocks translation and something entirely unconnected to nuclear fuck all that you’re objecting to?

  37. on 14 Oct 2009 at 5:33 pm Neil Craig's left one

    Blahdy blah blah warble blah blah blah blahdy willies blah blahdy warble blah blah blahdy blah methinks blah blah blah branes blahdy warble blah.

  38. on 14 Oct 2009 at 5:36 pm funny peculiar

    Oh Boy Oh Boy… this is a beaut! Check out this “Get Fucking Angry About Nothing” wind up from The Daily Hate. The Reckless Terror of… The moment a young mother pushes pram in front of an oncoming train at level crossing.
    Read about the incident which “left observers stunned and horrified.” Then scroll to the bottom and watch the CCTV of the event.

    You’ll need to re-connect these two bits, its too long for posting in one go…

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1220268/

    The-moment-mother-pushing-pram-dices-death-railway-crossing.html

  39. on 14 Oct 2009 at 7:07 pm Bit Special AKA La Spesh

    Bad sandwich idea: MEL.

  40. on 14 Oct 2009 at 7:54 pm That Bloke in the corner

    Bad sandwich idea: Mel Smith and mayo

  41. on 14 Oct 2009 at 8:25 pm He's Spartacus

    I’ve nominated Obama for the Heisman Trophy, Footballer of the Year and the Best Actress in a Supporting Bra Academy Award.

  42. on 15 Oct 2009 at 12:22 am chris

    I’m sorry, the person you’re trying to have a debate with doesn’t give a fuck. Please try again never.

  43. on 15 Oct 2009 at 8:21 am Yossarian

    Here’s a nice one from the Times Online commenting on the return to profitabilty of investment banks and the subsequent bonuses being paid out to staff.

    Nick White wrote:
    It’s a disgrace. I am so angry at the injustice that I can’t bring myself to write any more.
    October 15, 2009 4:46 AM BST on community.timesonline.co.uk Recommend? (20)

    Phew!

  44. on 15 Oct 2009 at 8:41 am Liberal Left And Proud

    I was sent this lovely email yesterday

    Subject: the urine test – this should be the law

    The Urine Test – The best idea since sliced bread?
    I thought this was very interesting and he has a point, maybe it should be
    applied all over! Please read it.

    The Urine test

    This was written by a rig worker in the North Sea -
    What he says makes a lot of sense!)

    I work, they pay me. I pay my taxes and the government
    distributes my taxes as it sees fit.
    In order to earn that pay cheque, I work on a rig for a
    drilling contractor. I am required to pass a random urine test
    for drugs and alcohol, with which I have no problem.
    What I do have a problem with is the distribution of my
    taxes to people who don’t have to pass a urine test.

    Shouldn’t one have to pass a urine test to get benefits
    because I have to pass one to earn it for them?

    Please understand that I have no problem with helping
    people get back on their feet. I do on the other hand have
    a problem with helping someone sit on their arse
    drinking beer and smoking dope, and doing nothing.

    Could you imagine how much money the government would save if people had to
    pass a urine test to get their benefit cheque?

    Please pass this along if you agree or simply delete it if
    you don’t.

    Hope you will pass it along though, because something
    has to change in the UK , and soon!

    I deleted it, but I also pissed in the sender’s coffee cup.

  45. on 15 Oct 2009 at 9:20 am Horses fuck horses

    Wow its been a while and hussar, blah gone! I reckon Obama should have gambled for the caravan; worst bullseye ever. @ Liberal Left and Proud- Surely taking the piss right?…err.. I’ll get me coat

  46. on 15 Oct 2009 at 10:17 am john Adair's Gerbil

    I think Obama was given the Nobel Prize because the comittee wanted to see if Glen Beck’s head would explode as in “Scanners”

  47. on 15 Oct 2009 at 10:38 am millie

    pass a urine test to get their benefit cheque

    Conjures up a bizarre image of people queuing to pee in a bucket. Those that hit get handed a cheque, those that miss go home empty handed.

    Wasn’t it Sarah Miles who used to extol the virtues of drinking your own pee? Perhaps further use could then be made of the substance so the govt could make even more money. Could be the answer to ending the recession.

  48. on 15 Oct 2009 at 10:51 am Liberal Left And Proud

    Conjures up a bizarre image of people queuing to pee in a bucket. Those that hit get handed a cheque, those that miss go home empty handed.

    Wasn’t it Sarah Miles who used to extol the virtues of drinking your own pee? Perhaps further use could then be made of the substance so the govt could make even more money. Could be the answer to ending the recession.

    Then you’d let the pissheads and tokers keep their benefits and tell the straight edgers to feck off cos their piss is worthless.

    See what happens when your wishes come true Mr fecking rigworker?