Racists and Werthers Original Imperialists16 Oct 2009 04:09 pm

Kings William and Harry of Arthur III

By Alex

If you can spare five minutes, and can to get sound, why not watch this?

I sometimes wonder why we bother. We just can’t compete with that sort of thing. I might as well mellow out, put on my Union Jack slippers, make a cup of True British-Born Tea and settle down by the window, ready to switch on the Royal Bat Signal if a brown person walks past.

49 Responses to “Kings William and Harry of Arthur III”

  1. on 16 Oct 2009 at 4:26 pm   Mr Poo

    Give up now. There’s no point fighting it. The EDL have grabbed all the best soundtracks.

  2. on 16 Oct 2009 at 4:54 pm   nsq

    best soundtracks indeed – wonder how Paul Hardcastle feels about his muzak being used?

    this is more like the EDL we know and love – and with no soundtrack:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GW5UXSCrAdc&NR=1

  3. on 16 Oct 2009 at 5:11 pm   Fennario

    I think I’ve just lost the will to live

  4. on 16 Oct 2009 at 5:19 pm   The Go-nutteer

    I feel ill. Two thousand years of rule by the sword, and all these cunts can do is ask for more?

  5. on 16 Oct 2009 at 5:42 pm   Louisa

    Now if there ever was the need for something to be rickrolled…

  6. on 16 Oct 2009 at 5:42 pm   victoria

    I wonder if they have to follow the words with their fingers?

  7. on 16 Oct 2009 at 5:43 pm   Bit Special AKA La Spesh

    I know it’s not relevant, but PLEASE can we start slagging off Jan Moir?

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1220756/A-strange-lonely-troubling-death–.html

  8. on 16 Oct 2009 at 5:43 pm   Timbocrimbo

    Lord that was funny. I just startled my work colleagues by laughing out loud

  9. on 16 Oct 2009 at 5:46 pm   Bit Special AKA La Spesh

    Bah, Cheb got there before me in the last thread.

    I couldn’t get through more than 6 seconds of that vid before I had to put my own eyes out with a Chaz n’ Di memorial spoon.

  10. on 16 Oct 2009 at 6:00 pm   irishmcbride

    Wow, that was spectacular. I’d imagine the artistic director of that little gem broke about a dozen keyboards with his angry little fists having to google search all those pictures of evil muslims.

  11. on 16 Oct 2009 at 6:50 pm   john Adair's Gerbil

    Cool, I see a christmas album – “Music to beat up furriners by.” Number one, I guarantee.

    I’ll not pass comment on the British Isles being ruled by the English Throne, ‘cos, well, I’m Scots.

    “Our Royal Family” recognise the threat? FFS, the Royal Family couldn’t recognise toilet paper as they don’t wipe their own arses.

  12. on 16 Oct 2009 at 6:54 pm   john Adair's Gerbil

    @La Spesh – the interflubes have reacted.

    Ms. Moir has apologised – “All I said was he died because he was gay, smitten down because he was gay, with his poofter underlying medical condition. Which was being gay. What’s all the fuss about?”

    Case closed, if you ask me.

  13. on 16 Oct 2009 at 7:14 pm   Judas

    @ la Spesh

    Charlton Brooker has beaten us to it:

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2009/oct/16/stephen-gately-jan-moir

  14. on 16 Oct 2009 at 7:45 pm   edwin

    Fuck me. Worried about forrin types gaining control? Don’t fret, the Royal Family will save the day, won’t they? Just give Philip an M16 and let him loose in Finsbury.

  15. on 16 Oct 2009 at 7:53 pm   Clovis Sangrail

    You know, even if I was a racist, furriner-hating, Arthur Pendragon-fellating, silver-foil helm (with visor) wearing, replica sword owning potential EDL member, I’d still not join them until they learnt to spell and punctuate. Just petty, I guess.

  16. on 16 Oct 2009 at 8:00 pm   Clovis Sangrail

    Jan Moir…my oh my. She’s rushing to defend herself now. Some Guardian comments seem to suggest that the Daily Heil readers agree with her, but I was pleased to see the comments direct to her article did no such thing. Ten quid says she’s out by the beginning of next week.

  17. on 16 Oct 2009 at 8:14 pm   Chris

    I really enjoyed that. The punctuation, the soundtrack, the factual inaccuracies.

  18. on 16 Oct 2009 at 8:16 pm   bb

    Fantastic video

    King Arthur was real and the house of Saxe-Coburg-Gotha is going to defend the sons of Albion from those nasty furrins. Well, they would do if Prince Chuck wasn’t set on becoming Defender of Faith so that he can represent a multicultural society.

  19. on 16 Oct 2009 at 8:17 pm   Dawn

    Clovis, it seems likely- if you go to the pcc website they have one link to complain about the article and another to complain about anything else. The latter points you in the direction of a guideline on valid complaints but the moir link takes you straight to the form – nice to see the moany mail getting moaned at for a change.

  20. on 16 Oct 2009 at 9:06 pm   funny peculiar

    I watched the video and thought it made a lot of sense, but I’m confused. Where does Aragorn fit into all of this? I thought he was the true king?

  21. on 16 Oct 2009 at 9:11 pm   That Bloke in the corner

    Right, that’s it, I give up, my eyes have melted and my brain has turned to mush. The video has swayed me, I am now going to go next door and fire bomb Mr Ali and make sure that I hang my St Georges cross with pride from my bedroom window. I believe everything I have just seen thanks to the hypnotic trippy sound of Paul Hardcastle. Those EDL guys are so clever. God save the Queen

  22. on 16 Oct 2009 at 10:19 pm   Loztralia

    Is it me or was that video really, really gay? I would say the maker has some confused feelings but I don’t think there’s any confusion at all: he wants to be Lucky Pierre in a Windsor sandwich and he’s not even trying to hide it.

  23. on 17 Oct 2009 at 12:09 am   Alex

    Oh dear. He’s one confused smudge of Jenny Bond’s hairy clam cheese.
    Poor blighter probably thinks Jedi are defenders of Albion too, and belives Alec Guinness will return one day to challenge Ayatollah Khomeni to a lightsaber duel.

  24. on 17 Oct 2009 at 2:03 am   funny peculiar

    A less-gifted genius, constructing a montage on the inherited splendour of our royal line, may have chosen Handel or Haydn as the accompaniment. Or Elgar? Maybe Beethoven?

    My impetuous, muddy soul would have grabbed at The Pilgrim’s Chorus from Tannhauser or Siegfried’s Death March from Götterdämmerung to give it that obvious, wronged, noble supremacy. But while I stand in the crowd, fumbling with Wagner, he soared high above the packed stadium of dull and shuffling lesser men and slashed the heavens with immortality. A floaty Paul Hardcastle beat-box instrumental! Ohhh… The insight into the nature of royalty… The painstaking searching for the definitive theme of historic chivalry… The bravery to recognise the seamlesss fit… The glimpse of what we may be! The divine right of royalty expressed through the early sampling techniques of a Korg M1! It is too much. I am undone. My heart cries out!

    Long Live King William! King of all the Britons hereafter!

    *sniff*

  25. on 17 Oct 2009 at 2:36 am   chriswithasmallcee

    Loztralia

    Is it me or was that video really, really gay?

    Icksnay on the aygay. I’ve been told off before, I feel it’s only just to warn you.

    The above Chris isn’t me. I am the original one. Trust me, I’m a doctor.

  26. on 17 Oct 2009 at 3:19 am   Cheb Ghobbi

    Funny Peculiar

    I thought the same thing about the music, but you put it with more erudition than I ever could.

  27. on 17 Oct 2009 at 6:31 am   Loztralia

    I think I’m ok with “gay” as an adjective here as I don’t mean it in a pejorative way at all; I mean the video is actually gay – a homosexual fantasy.

    Personally I couldn’t give a toss if men fancy Wills and/or Harry (though the baldy one is looking less and less of a prospect let’s be fair) – my point is I would be surprised to find the compadres of the video’s maker were so laissez faire were they to spot the obvious overtones.

    And I admit I’ll be all turned round on the subject if the bloke who made the video said “yeah it’s a homoerotic fantasy as much as it is a pseudo-Arthurian synth workout. Just because I’m a muslim-hating neo-nazi doesn’t mean I don’t like cock.”

  28. on 17 Oct 2009 at 11:06 am   alt-f4

    The simplest solution to this is to remove the seating from one end of all football league grounds. The whole point of football hooliganism on the terraces is to channel what would otherwise manifest itself as political violence on the street.

    Disband the EDL and put them back where they belong – in the England Supporter’s Club.

  29. on 17 Oct 2009 at 1:24 pm   wringhim

    Don’t most of the theories about historical King Arthur say that he fought against the Anglo-Saxons? And some people reckon he was Roman or French.

    The EDL also seem to have forgotten about the noble kingless years of Oliver Cromwell, who excelled at foreigner-twatting. Also for about 400 of the last glorious 2000 years most of Britain was ruled from Rome, after which it fell into dark ages for a few hundred years, then was conquered by Scandinavians and French, and more recently had to ask Dutch and German people to come over and rule us because there was nobody here up for the job.

    Also good use of random quotation marks:

    Let us ‘hope and pray’

    Does that mean “let us beat up forringurs?”

  30. on 17 Oct 2009 at 9:37 pm   Gob Beldof

    That was the most hilarious video I have ever seen. The soundtrack was so soothing, especially when aligned with those wonderful IMAGES OF HATE.

    Is Lord Harry going to be Queen though? I don’t think this video provided all the answers we need, on anything at all anywhere, however I am now confident in the knowledge that David Milliband is a massive-headed traitor.

    And it seemed to me that they were suggesting Harry might be looking to off Wills in order to become King himself.

  31. on 17 Oct 2009 at 11:52 pm   Hootie McBoob

    Jesus! That was one of the most mind numbing things I have ever had the misfortune to watch. And I have kids who watch shit like iCarly and fucking LazyTown!

  32. on 18 Oct 2009 at 1:58 am   John Adair

    “yeah it’s a homoerotic fantasy as much as it is a pseudo-Arthurian synth workout. Just because I’m a muslim-hating neo-nazi doesn’t mean I don’t like cock.”

    Absolutely. As I prove on a daily basis, those things are not mutually exclusive.

  33. on 18 Oct 2009 at 8:20 am   Theodore

    Until just now I was unaware of the EDL.

    Luckily, they are mad enough and inept enough to be completely irrelevant. If they weren’t quite so insane or amazingly piss-poor at putting across a credulous arguement, they might be dangerous.

    Thanks SYB – I really enjoyed that.

  34. on 18 Oct 2009 at 8:26 am   brit slapped

    your patcondell a’rent You…

    ups sorry. that shou’ldve been spelted’d amaaazing dramati’c pause like thusly: ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

  35. on 18 Oct 2009 at 8:27 am   brit slapped

    “…………………………”

  36. on 18 Oct 2009 at 11:48 am   Pirate Pete

    (apologies to the women reading) Jan Moire is a total cunt – there, I’ve said it

  37. on 18 Oct 2009 at 12:03 pm   Nick Griffin's glass eye

    Fuck me, that video just persuaded me to join the EDL and defend Our Country.

    Even though I’m Scottish and know what capital letters are for.

    Where do I sign up?

  38. on 18 Oct 2009 at 4:06 pm   Mr Cooperative Commonwealth

    A new, terrifiyng discvery:
    http://www.fmft.net/
    Anybody heard of Mr Free Market here?
    Another fellow who considers Godro et al socialist (seriously, I genuinely don’t understand why), and this chap has a fondness for guns ‘n’ ammo, and always signs off with an unveiled desire to hang/shoot all MPs, complete with picture.
    I especially like the name of his pub themed forum, but I’m afraid to go on it becasue of what it must contain.

  39. on 18 Oct 2009 at 4:10 pm   Angela Merkel

    I like your queen. Such strong, Teutonic bone structure.

    Remember Helga out of Allo Allo? Now she was blonde as well, of course…

  40. on 18 Oct 2009 at 4:17 pm   J Sainsbury

    I hope you all noticed that the bearded men had been to Morrison’s. (Fool for missing out on Nectar points.)

  41. on 19 Oct 2009 at 3:18 am   Jesus Chris

    I especially like the name of his pub themed forum, but I’m afraid to go on it becasue of what it must contain.

    I tried, and either participation was low and he got rid of it, or he twigged I was a communist son-of-a-bitch intent on redistributing his guns to someone who can actually hit a barn door.

    Beats the shit out of me how people who don’t live in the UK can be so passionate about its politics. As soon as I moved, I reverted to pisstaking.

  42. on 19 Oct 2009 at 5:48 am   one of the eds

    Jesus Chris

    If they’re so interested in our politics, they should come and live here, shouldn’t they?

  43. on 19 Oct 2009 at 9:21 am   Felna

    The EDL, because sometimes the BNP just isn’t racist enough…

    But they can’t be racist, because they sell ‘Burkhas’* via their online shop:
    http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ENGLISH-DEFENCE-LEAGUE-HOODIE-EDL-BURKA-FACE-MASK_W0QQitemZ180414364348QQcmdZViewItemQQptZMen_s_Clothes?hash=item2a0188babc#ht_1548wt_934

    *For Burkhas, read hoodies with masks so you can beat up a furriner without the inconvenience of being recognised.

  44. on 19 Oct 2009 at 10:19 am   Sarah

    It’s always the smooth jazz that sets off a popular revolt. All those years when the PMRC thought Slayer would corrupt the children, they were just leaving Kenny G free to spread sedition.

  45. on 19 Oct 2009 at 11:38 am   Robert Mugabe

    “Anybody heard of Mr Free Market here?”

    I’m inclined to think he’s a white Zimbabwean (or `Rhodesian’ as he doubtless thinks of himself) ex-pat & gun-fetishist. He refers to his local countryside as `the bundu’ in one post. One of his regular correspondents is Kim du Toit, a South African safari organiser of similar mindset.

  46. on 19 Oct 2009 at 3:40 pm   Aux chiottes

    I was just glad they had a photo of handcuffsafter it said “I would say [insert mindless drivel here] but I don’t want to get arrested” as I wouldn’t have know what being arrested means because, being an effnik, I am, of course, protected by human rights.

    I also enjoyed the use of the “work that one out!” structure of one argument, but was disappointed that that particular point wasn’t expressed in the “what next…oh, hang on we’ve already got that” construction. Never mind. The music was nice.

  47. on 20 Oct 2009 at 8:06 pm   George of er... Georgia

    I’m guessing he doesn’t actually know that St George was a Turk who never set foot here and that our Queen is of German descent.

    This island has been Europe’s equivalent of Victoria Coach station for oveer 2000 years.

    Cretins.

  48. on 21 Oct 2009 at 9:34 pm   I can't be black, my best friends are racist

    Well, I for one am angry. Mayor of London meeting with a muslim or jew or whatever the hell he was.

    My dad didn’t fight in wars so that I could live in an inclusive, tolerant society. Then again, he didn’t fight in any wars.

    Am I though only one who had a little stonk on when they were showing Harry & Wills to that music?

  49. on 22 Oct 2009 at 11:42 am   Richard T

    I got as far as the pictures of Prinzen Wilhelm and Heinrich and had to go for the sick bag. What I saw just beggars description.