Thanks to Pete for finding this one at the Metro.
Oi Boris … Lions wouldn’t tackle wolves yah dozzy muppet … lions and wolves are predators … the wolves and lions would AVOID each other they predate on lesser, easier to catch and subdue, prey … If you were a lion (go on think about it .. try getting outside that mental comfort zone) would you go for unarmed relatively slow rabbits (and lots of them) or a pack of fast, fully armed pack hunters? I’m no David Attenborough and even I can tell you that a pride of Lions will avoid pack hunters like hyenas (and visa versa) for good reason … Foxes, wolves and (in the wild) bears will chomp on bunnies … but your best predator for Thumper and Bugs is still man!!! Bon apatite.
Couple of years from we might not turn our noses up at a free source class 1 protein like that … starvation has a nasty habit of robbing the sophisticated and the civilised of both humour and their spendthrift ways.
- Alec Mcgowan, Edinburgh UK
I can’t stop thinking about Alec’s mental comfort zone.
62 Responses to “Mental Comfort Zone”
I think he’s being a bit overly modest when he says he’s no David Attenborough. Be honest “Alec”. It’s David behind that facade, isn’t it?
Next time I take the gerbilette to Edinburgh Zoo, I must look out for a man dressed in a lion suit chasing rabbits along the paths.
Fully armed wolves? Should I be concerned? Are wolves in hoodies with knives about to crowd street corners and harass old ladies and good, honest, down to Earth BNP voters?
WHEN WILL GORDON BROWN TAKE CARE OF THESE WOLVES? THEY ARE LIKE PACK ANIMALS ON OUR STREETS.
“unarmed relatively slow rabbits – Bon apatite!”
Bitch be trippin’ if you ask me…
Reading that has taken me outside my grammatical comfort zone.
The man is clearly delusional. Bugs Bunny is a hare not a rabbit.
I worry about the picture. Shows clear signs of both insanity and juvenility. Hold on – we expect this, so it’s OK.
As you were.
There should be a warning for insomniacs such as myself before pictures such as that are posted. That’s me without sleep for the rest of the week.
It’s the cock on the cat that does it.
Erm, wouldn’t starvation increase ‘spendthrift ways’, not rob folk of them? Or am I expecting too much to expect a bit of sense from this cocknugget?
The cock on the cat did it for me as well!
Not just the cock – the walking stick up its arse doesn’t help.
And as a ‘scientist’ let me just add – lions hate hyaenas, fully armed or not, and will stick a walking stick up their comfort zone whenever they get a chance. So your thesis is fatally flawed Alec, methinks.
Jesus.. it’s not a cat.. it’s a RANDY TIGER.. obviously.
It’s like being trapped by the drunk in the pub. There’s this gaunt scottish bloke with mad hair and a charity shop suit and he’s been drinking since 11 in the morning. He’s grabbed you by the elbow and he’s rambling at you about wolves and stuff, and all you can do is smile and nod and pray he goes away before he turns nasty and tries to glass you. And that’s your dad, that is.
it is clearly a Cuger
Failed Art GCSE by any chance, Nelson?
Failed Art GCSE? I was thinking more a First in his BA (Hons) Fine Art.
PS. It was the cock on the cat what done me too.
It’s clearly a tiger. I mean, Alec is bound to confuse a lion with a tiger, as he thinks wolves and lions are actually going to meet outside of a tournament set up by a zookeeper who needs to boost receipts, and that rabbits will be involved somewhere.
Lions feed on rabbits, witches and wardrobes. That’s clear enough. What’s not clear is why my fucking brain is running khd if no rsdz.
Wait, have I missed something? Was Boris Johnson going to make wolves and lions fight? In Hyde park? For money?
I hate agreeding with the offensively posh, floppy haired tossbrain, but that would be *awesome*
I heard that lion/wolf fights were going to be the centrepiece of the Olympics, after the 100m pensioner stabbing and the marathon immigration whine.
I’m no David Attenborough, but even I know that Lions prefer Diners Club.
@bit spesh. I my mental comfort zone led me down exactly the same carpeted thought-path as you. But, luckily, I had a quick google and you volunteered to put your head on the block instead. It seems we both cling to the same false assumption.
fuckin’ linkin’ bollocks… but you get the idea Spesh. I’ll have another crack
false assumption
Bleah… stuff it. You’ll just have to Google it yourself.
Yikes…maybe the BBC School of Bender Lefty Economics didn’t teach us as well as we thought it had…
You don’t think we’re wrong about surveillance, war and darkies as well do you..?
As well as the madness of the subject matter I like how the style starts off all cockney wideboy, givin’ it ‘Oi Boris’ and ‘yah dozzy muppet’, but ends up a bit plumy with phrases like ‘a nasty habit’ and ‘their spendthrift ways’. It sounds like an Ealing Comedy (re-voiced by Vic Reeves) where a cheeky cockney chappie has to pretend to be the Duchess of Marmsbury for a visit from the Queen. The Queen never arrives, but much hilarity ensues around the duckpond.
I think I’ve found my mental comfort zone.
By the way Nelson, how do you expect us to believe that’s a tiger when it’s clearly a cat? I mean where would yo get a walking stick that big? Totally unrealistic.
Yeah, and Ross Kemp is fucking massive compared to the tiger. I’ve met Ross Kemp, and he’s not that big. And he had a walking stick shoved up a tiger’s chuff with him, so naturally, I’m in the position to make the direct comparison. And do you expect us to believe that’s a real horse?
Methinks not. QED.
Fuck you, I’m going to hang out at Neil’s blog. At least he posts hilarious pictures of kids smoking.
I like the way the cat’s having aural sex with Grant Mitchell.
sorry, tiger.
*snigger*
Ok, I get the fuel from bunnies bit, but where does the floppy haired Bozzer come into it? He doesn’t get a mention in the article.Are we suggesting that Big Bozzer is going to introduce packs of wolves to the streets of the capital to catch these bunnies and then use them for fuel on the bendy buses?
Nah, he’s talking about Boris Yeltsin mate.
Shurely this should be listed under animal fannies as well… nay? Blah
i found John!!!http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/northern_ireland/2647383.stm
@miguel, close, but no cigar. We know Adair is in Hull furiously ranting impotently at the interwebs-the Gerbil knows all too well.
@fp – well I never. I hang my head in shame. Clearly Alec is more intelligent than the rest of us and we are wrong. In penance, I’m going to black up and go join the BNP.
PS Why has the *tiger* got a walking stick up its arse? WHY? I can’t get it our of my head. Make it stop, Mummy (or is that ‘Mammy’, now I’m fully minstrelled-up?)!
Perhaps it’s actually one of these? (Although that wouldn’t make much more sense.)
Predators predate, just like doctors doct and authors auth. RAWR I’VE OPENED MY MIND RAWR GRRR MROW.
So Stokholm’s got a huge bunny boiler?
*insert joke about the girls from ABBA here*
damn, i always miss that damn cigar… and forget to put spaces between links and texts.
never gonna let a dog die, i found something else about him…
Written by John Chang, Glasgow on Mon Apr 21 13:56:18 UTC 2008. 2 recommendations.
Oh, and if you had wondered, John Adair from Hull/Dublin/Bertesgaden has multiple accounts: that’s why he always gets recommendations in the 10s – he will keep signing and recommending his own pro-BNP posts
the dublin fits in vaguely with the convict from the bbc thing.. IF I’M RIGHT
Lions can’t half shift when there’s a greyhound after them.
Damn. Must check facts first. Lions can go up to 50mph, jack rabbits 45mph and wolves 40mph. Bears go like shit off a shovel too.
OK, so the feline with the titchy nob and a walking stick up it’s arse,fine, I can live with that. But…why is Ross Kemp doing an impression of Pinocchio with a Pringles tube?
@miguel, close again, except, that Johnny Adair was in the UVF, who aren’t that keen on Dublin. However, if our John Adair has 10 accounts, could it be that he is really Topsy Tury,Joy Pattinson,1984returnsforreal,Cuger Brant and that ultra twat theskyisblueandsoami ? Are we closer to getting inside the mind of the racist git? Send a text at 4.20am and see if he replies.
Is is wrong of me to get a wide on at the thought of a cat cock?
@Hootie “Is is wrong of me to get a wide on at the thought of a cat cock?”
I don’t know – are you a cat?
Considering most kids spend all their time a) pretending to be various animals b) reading books where animals pretend to people, any kind of human-animal perspective crossover is pretty much as far inside a mental comfort zone.
AND Alec McGowan’s mental comfort zone seems pretty fucking mental to me.
Considering most kids spend all their time a) pretending to be various animals b) reading books where animals pretend to people, any kind of human-animal perspective crossover is pretty much as far inside a mental comfort zone as you can get.
AND Alec McGowan’s mental comfort zone seems pretty fucking mental to me.
Given that his good-natured right-wing prickism and general incompetence would generally allow for such a policy to find its way onto the books, you’d expect that would be the logical conclusion.
Alas, there is apparently a commenter immediately prior to Alec called “Boris”, who’s responding to a fellow called “Alex” who, in turn, is responding to what I assume to be an ironic comment from someone called Mark in Sydney suggesting that we release wolves into the park to kill the rabbits. I assume irony because he also suggests that they stop planting plants and grind up people for fertiliser.
I realise that this last point is part of the all-too-real BNP ‘Final Solution’ to the ‘Immigration Problem’, and that Mark is Australian and therefore must be a big racist, but I don’t think they’re connected.
Tigers are also mentioned at one point, hence Nelson’s tiger, who I assume was buggered by misanthropic TV doctor Greg House. He’s the only TV person I can think of at the moment with a walking stick. Unless you count CBBC presenters, and that’s just political correctness gone mad, why I want able bodied people on the children’s programmes I never watch.
I am worryingly charmed by that picture. Maybe I need a less mental comfort zone.
Because, astoundingly, Ross Kemp is actually a real live boy.
That tiger does look remarkably like my cat.
Except he has no balls. My partner had him ‘fixed’.
He wasn’t broken. :’(
@Icarus Smicarus, so it is only the acting that is wooden and @Jesus Chris, I get it now.
Although the image of Boris Johnson living like a wolfman in Regents Park leading a pack of wolves through London killing bunnies does have some charm.
Talking of la Pattinson, I’m a bit concerned to see she hasn’t posted since July 15th. Maybe the good citizens of Rolle have finally cast her outside the walls of the city? You used to be able to do that here. Couldn’t do it now, BUT IT WORKED!
In the tradition of people thinking that everyone on the internet reads everything, especially famous people, I found this on Times Online when I was reading up on how shit Liverpool are doing in everything.
It’s also a game of two halves, and oh, those Brazilians, you know? Circa 1970? Broke the mould. Theory out the window. Free expression of football. Uncategorisable. Is that a word? It is now! You know? Far cry from small boys in the park, jumpers for goalposts. Rush goalie. Two at the back, three in the middle, four up front, one’s gone home for his tea. Beans on toast? Possibly, don’t quote me on that. Marvellous.
I meant how shit Liverpool are doing in everything.
“Bon apatite”
A geological pun. We see all too few of those these days.
I’ll get me anorak (you can keep the weak orange drink)..
I know this is way off subject, but I have just been rooting through HYS on the subject of ‘do you want to live to 100?’ and found this one that made me guffaw,
Keep it up old man, you obviously have something she wants.
I can just imagine Robert’s wife’s face when he told her where they were going to live.
I’m still traumatised by the picture – is that a crow necro-rimming a dead goose?
(I think I just invented a new sex term. Proud face)
@Jesus Chris, especially as she had just come to the UK from there.
Bastard mail order company, go to the UK they said, meet nice Englishman they said….
I keep thinking I can’t draw but the missus (who’s rather good at that sort of thing) insists that I’ve got a “naive talent”.
Can’t argue with that. I’m gonna put it on my CV.
It’s the way you’ve juxtaposed the faux naïve with hyperrealism that demonstrates real talent. Methinks.