Unfortunate Slip of the Tongue
By AlexShock confession from our old friend [mugged_as_mp_laughs].
Well, I realised the importance of education, got my GCE ‘A’ levels, got several good telecomms jobs (because I had a ‘brain’), bought my modest house, saved a lot for the future and retired at 51.
Keep working ? You’re having a laugh.
Keep LEARNING more like.
Now when I wake up each day, I say to myself, ‘What shall I buy today ? or ‘which holiday shall I book ?’.
Best of all, I contribute ZERO income tax to this broken country.
Life is good.
[mugged_as_mp_laughs]
Golden rule of tax bores. Never, ever, EVER admit you don’t actually pay taxes. It really, really fucks your shit up. Observe:
Ms Lane Fox, the UK’s Digital Inclusion Champion
Who ?????
How much am I paying for this waste of space ?
Did we elect her ?
[mugged_as_mp_laughs]
Nothing. You don’t pay income tax, remember? Assuming you leave your house long enough to walk on the pavement and use a pelican crossing, you’re most likely a net drain on the public purse, albeit a middle-class one who can spell. This “waste of space”, unlike you, actually puts into the kitty and does something mildly productive with her time. The real question is how much she is paying for you. Because the poor woman’s clearly getting ripped off.
Man that felt good. Shall we have another one?
Actually. the Tunnel AND Bridge were FULLY paid for by us years ago, and I believe ALL the toll fees now go to benefit Essex and Kent County Councils.
So when it is sold, it will be a double whammy for them.
So much for helping the people.
Brown is such a child when it comes to Business.
[mugged_as_mp_laughs]
Did you know Tagalog has two forms of ‘we’; one including the listener and one not? Well [mugged_as_mp_laughs] has gone even further and developed a form of ‘us’ that doesn’t include the speaker.
And from just where does the UK Gov’t obtain it’s funding?
[lorderkules], Leeds .
Actually, It’s ME !!!!!
One of the millions of hard working mugs who are forced to pay taxes to prop up this pathetic third world country.
[mugged_as_mp_laughs]
This “ME !!!!!”… It’s a long shot maybe, but it wouldn’t, by any chance, mean “other people” would it?
Well, thats another 57 MILLION pounds (the cost of setting it up) of OUR money gone then.
[mugged_as_mp_laughs]
Excuse me, I’m sorry, whose money?
Personally, I don’t feel it is a UK Government responsibility to give OUR money to any foreign country.
If someone came to my house and demanded money to give to Oxfam, I would soon tell them where to get off.
I choose to give my money to UK Animal charities.
How DARE the Government deign to decide for me what to do with my charitable disposable income ?
[mugged_as_mp_laughs]
You should try withholding income tax, like Noam Chomsky. You’d probably adjust to it quite easily.
State Pension at 66 in 2016 ?????
Well that’s everybody’s vote under the age of 59 lost then.
They’ve certainly lost mine.
I thought the Tories were going to help working single people.
Oh and STOP child benefit. What the heck is that for ?
Surely if you have a child, you have already planned its financing until 18 years of age.
[mugged_as_mp_laughs]
I’m not sure that’s how having children works. Incidentally, what do you care about working single people? None of them are you.
I am literally itching waiting for this guy to use “hard-working taxpayers” as if he actually is one. ‘Cos you know it’ll happen. Man that’ll be good.
70 Responses to “Unfortunate Slip of the Tongue”
Yes….. That always happens.
What holiday shoud he book?
One way ticket to Tora Bora would suit me fine.
I think I just spooged in my pants.
1)Obvious that you are single chap.Do all the kids hang around outside your house chucking eggs at the windows and chanting ‘burn the weirdo’?
2)Thought you had retired at 51, so how do you work hard? Oh yes professional interweb ranter.
3)You forgot to mention that you are white indigenous Ingerlish.
4)You really are a malodorous manitees’ minge
I know how much Martha Lane Fox was paid to be the Digital Champion, because I put the Grant forms together and sorted out the payment… *cough* And she’s good VFM if you ask me, and nice too
And another thing, mugged_as_mp is a owl’s ‘orrible orifice, and I wouldn’t piss on him if he was on fire. What a twat!
Yeah mugged_as_Iamatwat, cos bestiality best.
I reckon we should give him his wish – we can all take turns mugging him, and I know our local MP (nice chap, even if he is a Tory), who I’m sure would be happy to stand by and laugh if I showed him some of this drivel…
Another piece of evidence as to just how much of a colossal coypu’s cumdumpster this gentleman is (if indeed he is a gentleman – I just can’t beleive anything he says anymore.)
“I am BRITISH and NOT American thank you.
Sick to death of this country picking up bad habits.
If a CV is presented to me with bad spelling, then it goes straight in the bin.
If you cannot write in ENGLISH then NO job for you.”
[mugged_as_mp_laughs] ,UK /
If he’s retired, what are the CV’s for – his fluffer?
blockquote bollox
Should there not be a comma in here somewhere? If I am wrong, then no job for me-If I am right?
Hang on, if you look through his other comments he says
“Well that’s me stuffed, unable to get a job at 53 and living off savings.”
Last I heard unemployed and retired were two different things, otherwise My husband is retired at 35, how awesome is he!
As a resident of Leeds myself, I feel entitled to say Mr. as_MP_laughs is, indeed, a twat.
Also, from our good friend Cuger:
Have books been ousted by DVDs?
Pro-tip: Saying “This is from a totally impartial point of view” tends to destroy any remaining belief that it did.
51,53,85? Is this man some age defying time lord, or is he as we all suspect an interweb ranting twatbastket?
Schroduck
Oh, please let’s have a link. He didn’t sign it ‘Cuger Brant, Bruce Grant’ again did he?
Also I like the way this supposed author apostrophises his plurals. Excess’s?
The classic sign of a misanthrope, and I note he refuses to give money to forrin animal charities.
Cheb
Unfortunately not. That would have been a little too perfect.
And clearly that excess (excess’s?) apostrophe was just on holiday from “child’s”.
As Mrs Cuger Brant reminds him every night
Bruce advertises Cuger’s book, then immediately outs himself as the author.
Was there a deleted comment in between the two or something? It looks like he’s been caught out.
I think the Cugester is well aware of that. Hence the politician comment. He’s pretty dumb but he does have a fair degree of self-awareness (except about his awful books) and is prepared to have the odd dig at himself, which sets him well apart from pompous rat-rectums like Mugged.
The “stop immigration as well!” comment quoted a couple of days ago also looks like an attempt at sarcasm – he should be given credit for having some understanding of how daft HYS is.
Anyway.
When a mummy and a daddy are very much in love, they go and see a financial adviser….
mugged_as_mp_laughs is the most hilarious username ever.
I think Cuger Brant has separated from the host personality and doesn’t know how to create his own HYS account. That’s the only reasonable explanation for his name appearing like that at the end of each post. The other explanation, that he’s a ginormous shitstain, is too simple.
Also, I have other evidence that similar stuff occurs. Eljunia Pumpernickel has an alter-ego called Ivan Pumpernickel [WALSALL], and he appears frequently on the Times website doing stuff like this:
The other option is that Ivan Pumpernickel is just a daft cunt who doesn’t know how to sign out of his wife’s account.
I’m unsure, because he appears in true form on the Beeb.
At least Political Penguin thinks he’s a twat.
It’s very confusing.
Grow up Alex.
I can’t agree with [mugged_as_mp_laughs]‘s opinions, but if he’s retired at 51 I expect he’s paid plenty of taxes along the way.
Except he’s also said he’s 53, and he’s not retired in some posts, he’s unemployed.
The only thing you can say with all certainty is that mugged_while_the_world_laughs is either very very confused or a lying twat.
I’m going for lying twat.
The benefit of children…?
And surely with his “‘brain’” and career in “telecomms”, he should be able to *spell* telecoms?
@Shroduck
You bugger, I sprayed a glass of water ovr my kybra.
Not really the point. For someone so proud of not paying taxes, he really does sound like he’s sore about paying them now. You know, what with all those present tenses and stuff.
An equally viable hypothesis would be that he evaded all his taxes along the way.
An equally viable hypothesis would be that he is 28, still working and paying taxes and has completely invented his interweb persona for the purposes of being able to splurge his ridiculous halfwitted opinions onto the unsuspecting (and uncaring) internet community. If I’m right, QED, quid pro quo etc etc
“literally itching”
I’ll take your word that you don’t mean “metaphorically” Alex. Try bathing.
“Cuger Brant is my ‘Nome de plume’”
I now have an image of Cuger as little gnome in a big feathery hat, carefully slipping off the tall seat in Starbucks after his free coffee, tongue pinched between his teeth in concentration. It makes me smile.
My forehead was itching slightly at the time Neil. I purposefully refrained from scratching it until the sentence was complete, just so I could use ‘literally’ legitimately and catch out some tosspiece prescriptivist with too much time on his hands. I’m so glad it was you.
‘Tosspiece prescriptivist’ – excellent new term. Wasted on a wharf rat’s warty winkie like Neil though.
To be fair, I read a recommendation for Cuger’s books from one E.R. Cuntgrab. Sounds like an upstanding fellow and one we can rely on.
Umm:
Charitably, I suspect that he’s confused. Less charitably…
bastard advertising ruined my head – all I could think of was Fly Fishing by ER Cuntgrab
From the political penguin site:-
Isn’t Some Fool lucky Political Penguin chose to humour him?
Mugged, you’re an insignificant blob of gerbil jizz, typing desperate words onto a website in the hope that a hundred other people (that’s approx. one in 60 million of the world population)will appreciate what you’ve written and care enough to comment further. Or even just to click some little electronic pat-on-the-head button.
Do you realise how pathetic that makes you? Yes you, a tiny little ant’s piss-stain of a man? Mocking people who will neither read nor care about your comments, your thoughts, you devastatingly accurate demolition of their…because you…but we…it’s different because…and we’re all…
Here’s what can be inferred from Mugged’s comments:
1. His ‘A’ levels weren’t good enough to get into university
2. They were good enough to get an entry-level job at somewhere like BT, though after 2 decades in IT his wage was probably above the national average
3. He has no children
4. He doesn’t appear to have talked over the logistics of having children with anyone ever
5. His disproportionate level of saving is the result of lacking anything to spend his money on apart from his “modest” (probably 1-bedroom) house, maybe with some inheritance thrown in
6. Sometime around two years ago, he was either laid off, fired, or politely asked to leave his job
7. Since then he’s been unable to find work
8. As a psychological defence mechanism, he’s decided that he’s a successful businessman who planned all along to retire at 51 and that maybe he’ll dally with the world of work a bit later: because otherwise he’d have to admit that he’s a fundamentally unlikeable and unemployable individual who lives alone in a shoe box, spending his worthless time ranting on the internet.
If I’m right.
His very username implies taxpaying – as we now know he doesn’t pay tax, he must mean it literally and he was actually mugged at the precise moment an MP was laughing. I’m willing to bet that is the case for an awful lot of muggings. Hell, if I were an MP and something funny happened or someone tickled me, I’d probably laugh – I wouldn’t have time to think ‘hang on a minute, somebody might be getting mugged’.
Or is he saying that the MP in question was present and either watched or participated in the mugging? In which case, surely a more appropriate username would be [mugged_as_mp_watched_laughing] or [mugged_by_laughing_mp]. Either way, it’s a matter for the police, not the username field on HYS.
And what’s with the square brackets? As the man himself puts it…
[Mugged] claims he has a ‘brain’. Surely the use of those quotations marks indicate some level of self-awareness?
Probably on Directory Enquiries,pedantically telling you that there is no number listed just because you spelt the name wrongly.
Hopefully when he was [Mugged], the MP in question was good enough to film it on his phone and shove it on youtube.
If you can be bothered to do a bit of Googling you can find a very amusing picture of Bruce/Cuger appearing to strangle his wife at Chessington World of Adventures.
@Loztralia, I could be bothered, until I started getting sucked into the world of the Cuger and I had to escape to my happy place.
Is it this one?
If not, I think that’s his creative process, anyway.
Is that writers block?
Right at the bottom of ‘B’.
He’s all over the fucking place, trying to advertise his shit books on comment threads, blogs and eschewing traditional media for his channels – although I’m not sure who eschewed who first.
I like that he’s in good company on that list of people without their own Wiki articles, including “Katherine Simm”, who’s described as a “local hero”. While I’m sure that’s not strictly true, I’m sure it’s more accurate than Cugar’s description of “local author”.
I could be bothered. What a nice chap, saving you all that effort…
http://www.flickr.com/photos/cugerbrant/3491571030
Who dares me to change the word ‘author’ on that wiki page to ‘twat’?
Me.
But be very careful – the autorevertbot might get you for abuse. I suggest something less sweary.
I can’t edit wiki pages from work anyway. Perhaps something to suggest he has delusions of grandeur? Help me out here, I can’t think of an appropriate word.
Alright, sorry, I got sidetracked by reading my 18 month old trolling of a 40-something man who wants to get rid of the age of consent.
I updated it. Seeing as it’s not him doing it, it’s much more NPOV and much more accurate.
Oh, please tell us more, JC!
Ah, nothing big to it – just why Wikipedia sucks and why nothing is NPOV. There’s a guy on there called Adam Fletcher Sasse, who’s a senior editor, who created a bunch of articles and added links about his own organisation, The Freechild Project. You’re not supposed to do that. It’s supposed to be impartial. His article on youth rights doesn’t once mention the UN Convention on Rights of the Child, just the groups he’s involved with, which makes it absolutely worthless.
I rolled up and added NAMBLA and GirlLove to the list of sites, because some of the organisations he’s into see the age of consent as a restriction on, not protection of children, and so do they. Obviously, they disagreed, we argued, I said it’s NPOV and his article on The Freechild Project ended up getting deleted. It’s back now, via sockpuppetry, but I don’t have the inclination to deal with him.
You can see it all on Wiki!
Here’s another one
As a prospective author, he should know there’s only one `s’ in `pastime’
http://www.flickr.com/photos/cugerbrant/3490762159/
It seems that Nelson may dish it out but can’t take it since he is not allowing Branes to comment on his little offering on why the BNP should be banned:
Because we have a corrupt FPTP electoral system which benefits the Lab/Con/Lib party & because his answer to his own question – “Would you allow a platform to a party that wanted to bring back slavery? – is that since he knows all those 3 party have indeed been involved in supporting child sex slavery he not only wants such creatures to have a plaform but wants to reserve it to the fascists.
What’s this bollocks about indigenous people? 17,000 years? I’ve been here for 28. Annoying to see other parties pandering to the immigration question though. Let’s set a limit, get to one space left, then triplets turn up who’ve all been raped, dismembered and tortured. Pick one of them.
If Nick Griffin can prove his 17,000 years of heritage, I’ll let his party bum me all the way to the ferry in Dover. A new word word needs inventing for this shitwipe. Twat is a start.
Neil, even with PR, you still would have only got 80 votes and you still would have finished last on the list with no seats at all. Even with PR, the cuddly-uddly-wuddly BNP would have pulled in less than 3% and not been entitled to a list seat.
And even with PR, your beard, leather jacket and spunk encrusted jumper combination would still frighten young children and ostracise you from those who would be your peers.
Jesus, Neil. That photo is damning! You look like such a miserable cockweasel!
You do realise that such fussy little beards are reserved for tedious, halitosis-ridden men whose “great sense of humour” is only appreciated by themselves, don’t you? At least everyone I’ve ever met with such fuzz has been such a person.
This scumbag needs to contribute something to society. I say we mug him.
Am pretty sure some jovial MP will be prepared to help.
Bet you don’t tell Jesus he must have been talking mince because he had a beard Jesus Chris. So not just a moron but a hypocritical moron.
Bet you don’t tell Jesus he must have been talking mince
If jesus had existed, as opposed to being a fictional character, he would still have been talking bollocks. “Take up thy bed and walk”, what a crock.
Satisfied?
Well, no Neil, because he’s dead.
Anyway, vis-à-vis the beard, I do feel the need to remind you that like you, Jesus may have had hair on his face, but unlike you he didn’t talk like a cunt.
That alone renders your argument as moot as your political party. I do like the yellow, by the way – did you make that rosette out of your gusset?
Oh, and to pre-empt your pedantry, Neil, we may disagree on small theological matters, but we find a comfortable philosophical common ground in agreeing that you’re hippo’s hole.
He may have been dead but he got better.
So you’re still allowed to talk to him. Alt I’ll let Jesus explain to you what people slept on then.
“that alone renders your argument as moot as your political party”
moot? do you mean m00t? of 4chan?
if not don’t use his name in vain.
He’s known as storyman over on the Daily Mail website. He published one of his short stories on that site!
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/debatesearch/debateUserSearch.html?user=2738039
This is my favourite part from Something Wicked This Way Comes:
Brilliant isn’t it. I must rush out and buy a copy from my local Waterstones.