Outsiders and Self-appointed Sages22 Oct 2009 09:24 am

Facts/Figures

By Gainsbourg

Did school change your life?

school in hindsight was just a place to collect the young and fill them with facts/figures,and even worse manipulate & condition them into modern ways of life,that being a “citizen” is above being a “human”. I’d rather have grown up learning a trade,on a farm,learn what i wanted at my own pace at the library or at home,out & about, anything other than get crammed in with several hundred other hormone raged children, a child in the 3rd world gets a better education than anyone.

lambsrumisgreat, felixstowe

Yeah. What use are facts/figures when the militia come to burn down your village, drag you away from your dying parents, press an AK into your little 14-year-old hands and say, “you’re fighting for us now, boy”? That’s the kind of education all the state funding in the world couldn’t buy. Life skills, mate. Life skills.

Oh, and you were doing so well… A not unreasonable point, maybe not quite buzzing with the wild, renegade spirit that you clearly hoped it had, but not unreasonable. And you could’ve stopped there, you could’ve left it as it was, you could’ve gone, “nope, that’s quite enough for now,” but you just couldn’t help yourself, could you? You couldn’t leave it at that. That last bit just exploded unexpectedly on to your keyboard like a jagged arc of mad, bloody jism, didn’t it? Like a jagged arc of mad, bloody jism at the climax of an otherwise uninspiring but perfectly adequate wank.

31 Responses to “Facts/Figures”

  1. on 22 Oct 2009 at 9:56 am   Theodore

    Wow. What an utter cock that guy is.

  2. on 22 Oct 2009 at 10:00 am   Martin

    Felixstowe being a fairly small community and my home town I probably know this person. I am going to scan everyone’s faces for that little glint in their eyes wishing the had grown up in the third world.

  3. on 22 Oct 2009 at 10:26 am   Mitch

    I don’t understand what he’s complaining about. Without school, where could he have learned about those lovely, shiny commas he adores so much? Pigs are intelligent creatures; down on the farm they’d have filled his sweet, undeveloped mind with tales of ‘full stops’ and ’semicolons’ to such an extent that he’d have been driven insane. Well, more insane.

    He’s got a point about class sizes, though. I’m a teacher myself and those rooms get mighty crowded these days with several hundred kids to a class. You’re at the end of the lesson after simply doing the register.

  4. on 22 Oct 2009 at 10:57 am   Jesus Chris

    Is he making a very sly George Orwell comparison there?

  5. on 22 Oct 2009 at 11:08 am   millie

    At least he has Lamb’s Rum to numb the pain.

  6. on 22 Oct 2009 at 11:34 am   john Adair's Gerbil

    Yep, if what you want to learn is grinding poverty, a subsistence existence and an early death through drinking contaminated water, then the 3rd World is the place to be.

    I wouldn’t shit my guts out anywhere else.

  7. on 22 Oct 2009 at 11:40 am   Dys

    Jesus, what did those hundreds of hormone raged children do to him?

  8. on 22 Oct 2009 at 11:45 am   TheViolentMajority

    Nothing. Which I suspect is the problem.

  9. on 22 Oct 2009 at 11:55 am   That Bloke in the Corner

    I’d rather have grown up learning a trade

    Mmmm, let’s see, you have no formal education, what career path could you stroll down? Cottager, village idiot? Ah,I have it, professional HYS tossbag.

  10. on 22 Oct 2009 at 12:07 pm   funny peculiar

    school… a place to collect the young and fill them with facts/figures,and even worse…

    Filling kids with facts and figures is BAD??? What an uneducated bag of shit. Oh poor downtrodden us, in our comfy modern world with all our knowledge and technology. Not like those jammy bastards in Bhangladesh.

  11. on 22 Oct 2009 at 12:13 pm   I'm not racist, some of my friends are filthy, ignorant foreigners who live 20 to a house and steal my job and live on the dole

    Yeah, school was awful. Being told facts and figures by people who, you know, knew the subject they were talking about. I’d rather have grown up under a bridge having the life kicked out of me by pimps everyday – that’s the real world.

    I learnt most of what I know from Jan Moir’s column. I learnt a trade of self-important internet complainer.

  12. on 22 Oct 2009 at 12:17 pm   funny peculiar

    My life’s shit. When I was a kid, some cunt(s) taught me all about science and maths and literacy and now I’ve got a well paid job in a comfy air-conditioned office with employment rights and a good salary in a peaceful country.

    While some flucky shits get to die of dysentry before they’re five!!! We’ve been royally screwed over by the man!

  13. on 22 Oct 2009 at 12:27 pm   That Bloke in the Corner

    lambsrumisgreat reckons learning a trade on a farm would have been better, but how would he fill in all the EU subsidy forms without the education? He should really think through his arguments, if he did, he wouldn’t end up here have the piss taken out of him-mind you he probably would as he really is a dead dogs prolapsed rectum.

  14. on 22 Oct 2009 at 12:35 pm   Jools

    The third world gets all the luck, if you ask me.

  15. on 22 Oct 2009 at 12:42 pm   db

    Warning: do not google image prolapse, especially if at work.

  16. on 22 Oct 2009 at 1:14 pm   Jesus Chris

    It looks like a little strawberry!

  17. on 22 Oct 2009 at 1:30 pm   StealthBadger

    http://newsforums.bbc.co.uk/nol/thread.jspa?messageID=6752147&edition=1&ttl=20091022132535&start=165&#6752147

    I’m not too talented with the ol’ interwebs, but Cuger rocks my world.

  18. on 22 Oct 2009 at 2:11 pm   That Bloke in the Corner

    @StealthBadger, wtf? Old Cuger on top form there.

  19. on 22 Oct 2009 at 2:43 pm   David-san

    Hopefully I’m not the only one who had to re-read Bruised Cunt’s post, five or six times before I could make sense of it. It must take fucking ages to get through one of his books.

    I noticed the bell-ended twat still signs off with two names as well. He reminds me of that daft old mare who used to sign off as ‘Illustrious frisbee’.

  20. on 22 Oct 2009 at 3:48 pm   the 3rd world child, that annoying immigrant

    I am a 3rd world child, and I have no idea what he is talking about!

  21. on 22 Oct 2009 at 5:44 pm   Starving African

    To quote this fantastic blog-ski: If he loves the third world so much, why doesn’t he go live there?

    I’m sure if he just packed his bags and turned up he’d soon forget all his useles lurnin’ and be taught all sorts of exciting things like how to dodge bullets and walk for hours to fill a leaky bucket of water. What fun.

  22. on 22 Oct 2009 at 5:47 pm   Schroduck

    @David-san

    I wonder what she’s up to now, anyway?

    Are you making the most of your life

    This is interesting that this subject has been brought up, it is, with me, regarding wearing something; I have 3 Elvis t-shirts and have got very funny looks while wearing them, that I have now thought of wearing them back to front so the picture is on the back. I am going out in one on August 16th, the anniversary, but I have come to the conclusion with music t-shirts that if the picture was on the back, it would be better. If someone is looking at you funny, you won’t know.

    IllustriousFrisby

    Ahh.

  23. on 22 Oct 2009 at 6:24 pm   Bit Special AKA La Spesh

    I have a feeling that it’s not ‘music t-shirts’ that are causing people to look at IF funny.

    lambsrumisgreat is basically saying that he’s thick as pigshit and like all total cunts, thinks that everyone should be forced to operate at his level so he doesn’t feel inadequate. Instead of pulling his finger out and putting a bit of effort in instead of thinking the world should revolve around him (the baseline HYS characteristic). Although I feel sorry for him not being a 3rd world child – think of all that smashing gang-rape and hilarious amputation from machetes and landmines he’s missing out on.

    PS Nelson, your article about Nick Griffin was great. Two thumbs up.

  24. on 22 Oct 2009 at 7:03 pm   Horses fuck horses

    Did he kust wank that one out while having “another brick in the wall” played on a constant loop?

  25. on 22 Oct 2009 at 8:13 pm   None of my friends are black, must I be racist?

    WHile we’re on Cuger, have a look at this link.

    http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/cdp/member-reviews/AAAOL08ICZ3HH/ref=cm_cr_pr_auth_rev?ie=UTF8&sort_by=MostRecentReview

    Anyone think the two reviews written by Lukey Look “Den” might have been planted by Bruce Grant. What other twat would think one of Cuger’s stories would make a good film?

  26. on 22 Oct 2009 at 9:54 pm   cpir

    An education isn’t the necessity to get you anywhere in life. There is a general misunderstanding about “knowledge is power” because knowledge is only useful if you know how to use it and obtain only the specific ones.

    Sherwin Lo, Georgia, United States

    These “specific ones” sound like something worth having, whatever they are.

    To tell the truth, I’m afraid to take the piss out of some of these posts in case they’re just kids and not mentally sub-normal adults.

  27. on 22 Oct 2009 at 9:58 pm   cpir

    For example…

    every day in every way changes peoples lives = NEXT

    upyours
    Recommended by 0 people

  28. on 23 Oct 2009 at 2:21 am   one of the eds

    I’d rather have grown up learning a trade,on a farm,

    Everyone in his class probably wished he had too

    learn what i wanted at my own pace at the library or at home

    Those lucky uneducated country dwellers, with their easy access to libraries…

  29. on 23 Oct 2009 at 2:33 am   Jesus Chris

    Well, books do grow on trees…

    …in a way.

  30. on 23 Oct 2009 at 11:02 am   Marx & Sparx

    Cuger Brant is a verbose vole’s vagina

  31. on 23 Oct 2009 at 11:04 am   Marx & Sparx

    Or maybe he’s a vole’s verbose vagina?