Permanently Bewildered02 Nov 2009 12:57 pm
A Furious Reverance (Behind the Bike Sheds)
By AlexThanks to Steven:
Tim Fellows wrote:
I hate the term “porn star”. Are we now revering such people?
Yep. Some people even wank over them.
48 Responses to “A Furious Reverance (Behind the Bike Sheds)”
I’m guessing he prefers thespians.
(weak pun no. 254 in a series of 876)
Oh dear, just wait till he finds out about ‘gold star’ lesbians….
I think we should. They do after all perform an important public function. Perhaps the Christian clergical term should be extended to include them?
I’m sure Jenna Jameson is often greeted as ‘your reverence’. She is, after all, very holey.
(weak pun no. 119 in a series of 876)
They perform an important pubic function?
(weak pun no. 69 in a series of 876)
I think Tim Fellows has it right on the money (shot).
(weak pun no. 240 in a series of 876)
I think Tim’s being a bit anal about things.
(weak pun no. 7b in a series of 876)
I think Tim’s right. There’s a big gaping hole at the heart of our value system.
(weak pun no. 761 in a series of 876)
He seems to be a bit confused. Could someone give him a hand (job)?
(weak pun no. 328 in a series of 876)
I think Tim’s blowing this out of proportion.
(weak pun no. 875 in a series of 876)
Thank God Tim’s around to stick it to the “man”
(weak pun that didn’t make the series of 876)
Tim likes men
(think i’ve missed the point 99,999 out of 100,000)
Tim’s a bit of a cock
(weakest pun in the series)
Problem with pedestals is you have to aim higher.
We revere Christ and he was repeatedly nailed in public.
(weak religious pun no. 42 in a series of 666)
Ooh! Can I join in the game?
I completely agree with Tim, and I would like him to finger those responsible.
(weak pun no. 802 in a series of 876)
Here‘s one for the wank bank (for all you perverts out there).
I think Tim should pull his finger out (of his arse) and get on with some real work, not this internet hobgoblinery.
(weak pun no. 877 in a series of 876)
Ah, Ayn Rand, easily the 20th century’s greatest troll: nobody annoys a liberal or a socialist quite as much as Rand or one of her books. She easily surpasses L. Ron Hubbard to claim the top spot. Hail Xenu.
@Ayn fap fap fap Rand – she only annoys liberals and socialists? I think any right-minded person would be repulsed by Ayn Rand wherever they are on the political spectrum. But, sticking to the values of the internet, I think I should react to the factoid of her contracting cancer after insisting all should smoke as it symbolises man’s domination of fire by saying – LOL!!!1! Loozer!!1!
Can we have some more cock and wank puns please?
Is that some sort of Cockney Rimming Slang?
(weak pun no. five & nine in a series of 876)
Tim Fellows is a puritan fuckwit.
Porn stars are cool.
Anyone who wants to discuss Ayn Rand, go ahead. Just include your address so I know where to send the invoice for my £55/hour listening fee.
Ayn Rand sounds like a Porn Star to me.
We should revere porn stars because they are a perfect example of social mobility in a pluralistic meritocracy. They can be taken anywhere.
(weak pun no. 472 in a series of 876)
P.S. Kelvin. Yaaay! in Comic Sans MS Font with an extra big
I’m wondering how Tim thinks we should refer to them. Hmm. Should we call them “porn dirtbags”? “Pornographic actors”? Perhaps, if we’re going by Tim’s standards, we should call them “naked people I see when the wife has gone to bed.”
If I asked for a weak pun about porn stars would you give me one?
(weak pun no. 1 in a series of 876)
Come on; pass me your coats as I leave…
Hate to mention, but most of the above are plays on words not puns. I know how much you chaps worry about these things.
However, I’m sure Louis XVI would be proud.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ridicule
@Mrs Slocombe’s Cunt – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ridicule
Fanny Ardent *snort* (weak play on euphemistic words in a film with a French actress in a slightly punning way no.1 in a series of 1)
Tim is basically saying, “I’m a guilty wanker”, isn’t he?
I mean, the only time you see or hear the term ‘Porn Star’ is when you are looking at porn. It’s not a phrase that crops up in normal life, like ‘Banoffee Pie’ or ‘Football Stadium’. Reading between the lines; Tim has frequent contact with porn and it makes him angry.
Five quid says he’s a Catholic.
Ridicule is nothing to be scared of.
(Weak pop-culture pun no. 47 in a series of 832)
A pun is a play on words.
I went and found that article, all about Sandra Bullock’s custody battle with a porn star.
And you guys can go and get fucked (
), because this one takes all these crap puns and shits all over them…
…and that wasn’t intended to be pun.
BOOM! Enjoy her professionally!! Get it!! Who’s she talking about, eh??? HAHA!!!
So we’re all in agreement that by that, Tim means ‘I have a 3″ dick and jizz myself when I see obese grannies on mobility scooters’, right?
Tim Fellows – sounds like some form of cottaging slang term to me, as in “I was down the local cottage looking for some trade and bumped into some Tim Fellows”
Perhaps Tim’s just a wannabe porn star? Got as far as auditioning once, but then couldn’t muster a hard-on with all those bright lights and cameras.
Nor could I, but in my defence Simon Cowell is a scary guy in real life.
I wonder if Tim would be happier if we shouted “Porn Star” into a big, echoing old building. That way we would be reverbing them. Which is way nicer.
Scaring the bejeezus out of JC? That’s proper scary.
If you like porn, you must see Cuger Brant in “Moses – The Arse of My Nieghbour.”
After taking two PornOscars in 2005 for the now legendary skinvid “The Reverend David” (Best Anal and Best Script) Cuger Brant has done it again and knocked out another almost perfect pornflick and guaranteed himself a bag of awards at this year’s ceremony.
Starring ,written and directed by Brant, “Moses – The Arse Of My Nieghbour” is a clever remake of the story of Moses set in a science-fiction version of Sodom where everyone is an incurable, nymphomaniac, assimilated cyborg.
I loved this film so much I came three times without a stroke just watching the first scene. It’s much much better than White Trash Bitch or Tail Pipe Hero You must see this movie.
Grucer Nabt – film critic
“Cuger Brant has done it again and knocked out another” – As he does every night. And at lunchtime in the bogs.
@ Jesus Chris
No – me asking whether you have stroked my pussy is a play on words.
Calling you an unpunny (ho ho sounds a bit like unfunny) thespian (ho ho sounds a bit like lesbian) is a pun (or two).
The one gets your field drained, the other gets you tripped up and called Mr Antipodes.
Or a job at NME / the Sun.
If Tim Likes Porn Stars So Much… Why Doesn’t He Go Spank There?
… either that or he’s a fluffer and this is a career aspiration for him. Before hitting his head on the glass ceiling.
(No 1,734 in a series of the A-Team)
Porn stars, are celebrities and do appreciate a hand on their entrance. Bringing them closer to mainstream culture will help them widen the circle of their friends.
(Weak puns 69a and 69b in a series of 80085)
@Jesus Chris
I’ll take your dictionary.com and raise you http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pun
Then I’ll get my coat and fuck off.
By complaining about this he’s just trying to stick his finger in a dyke to hold back the flow (double pun no. 345 of 876)
I think they perform an important function, and frankly I don’t know what this fellow’s banging on about.
(Utterly horrifying pun in a limited edition coffee table compendium, available at all good bookshops)