Thanks to Gareth for pointing us to this Times piece about dangerous dogs…
i have to agree it is not the dog its the owner that causes the problem i own 6 chow chows and have had no problems. thay have put prople out of the house that TRYED to come in unannouced.but this is what happens when you take the ablity of a person to defend there homes and persons.if you are going to take the rights of people to have guns and knifes then thay will turn to something to defend there homes and familys this is HUMAN NATURE and this is what people around the world will have to deal with.we cant put police on every coner to keep us as safe as we would like to be.we must take serton ricks to live in citys and towns.and there will alway be those who want to take what we have.and we must take the responiblity to defend that whitch we hold dear. the police and goverment cant alway be there to do the job for us.and if we dont take the responsabity then we have to accept that ower property will be stolen.and i do have an issue that the writer of the articl didnt state what sorces he used to support his numbers and asretions
william taylor
Since posting this comment, rigorous academic william taylor has hit upon the perfect anti-theft solution: he stripped naked, smeared himself with Vaseline and set fire to everything he owned. Then he wept and died.
mike lewis takes a tougher view…
If we culled the owners, the Dogs would’nt be a problem.
mike lewis
That evergreen classic, summary executions. And it’s a good point. See, you might not know this, but when dog-owners die, their pets just vanish into the ether. The universe simply cannot support dogs without owners. It’s like one of them paradoxes or some shit, so they get erased from reality altogether. It’s an immutable law of scientism. No more dangerous dog-owners, no more dangerous dogs.
Dogs don’t bite people.
Its people with dogs that bite people ????
Peter White
As Gareth says: “I think you’ve got the wrong end of the stick there, Peter”.
63 Responses to “Serton Ricks”
I thought Serton Ricks was a town in the Lake District until is discovered Smirnoff.
If it’s the famous Peter White I suppose you can’t really blame him for picking up the wrong end.
And he *would* know about dogs.
note to self: stop coming here before fully awake, that took far too long to read and comprehend.
mike lewis doesn’t go far enough. we should cull ALL dog owners. especially the ones who buy small dogs and dress them in clothes. the stupid cunts.
i thought william taylor made good point and well written.
there no need to be so not kind to him.
i dont have dog so do not kno if he is write.
Yeah, right. Can just picture him bravely standing up in his first ever meeting:
I suspected it might be a poncy kind of dog but… really! And he has six of them.
Strength in numbers, millie. Remember that. It’s how groupthink operates. Except in this case it’s groupbark. Or groupdrool.
How the fuck did any number of chow chows “put someone out of the house”? I suppose if they sat in a ring around an intruder and scratched themselves, the mushroom cloud of fur might cause an asthmatic to have second thoughts…
Or Group Doggy Dog even.
I’ll get me muzzle & coat…
That’s His Dark Materials, isn’t it?
Bark dematerialises, more like.
I’ve already got my coat.
william taylor manages to spell the word ‘responsibility’ in two ways just one sentence apart: ‘responiblity’ and ‘responsabity’. Combined with some of the other spellings (‘ower’, ‘articl’, ‘serton ricks’), I’m inclined to think that he might be operating in a kind of stream-of-consciousness fashion. Perhaps his brain is just hard-wired into HYS, a sort of instant HateScrobble, and this is just the way that it comes out.
I wish it didn’t.
> if you are going to take the rights of people to have guns and knifes then thay will turn to something to defend there homes
Has anybody told him he is still allowed to have knives in his home, just not walk around in public with them stuffed up his sleeve? I have a mental image of William Taylor at supper, tearing up a steak with his hands, muttering about how much easier this was before NuLab made him turn his knives in.
I’ve read it 3 times now and before I slit my wrists, can someone tell me what word ‘asretions’ is meant to be? Aspersions?
How does he even manage to turn his computer on? I have a feeling that this brainfart is actually the group effort of the chow chows.
@La Spesh: it’s “assertions”. Probably.
Now that I’ve worked out the spelling errors it makes sense, and I am preparing to defend that witch I hold dear. Does this mean I get to hang around Alyson Hannigans house with a set of binoculars?
i thought it was a contraction of arse secretions
jumping away, briefly, HYS is feeling sorry for Gordon Clown. i was actually quite astonished by this: http://newsforums.bbc.co.uk/nol/thread.jspa?forumID=7217&edition=1&ttl=20091110131351
still, if you can’t profit from the death of your son by selling your story of outrage to a redtop AND secretly recording a private conversation what is the world coming to. i’m sure jackie janes is totally grief stricken, or at least will be when the press move on to the next story & the cheques dry up. if i’m right.
I’m beginning to regret having googled myself today.
Exactly. She probably encouraged him into the army in the first place with the hope that this would be the outcome.
Who the fuck calls their son James Janes anyway? It’s asking for trouble.
Yeah, there was something quite heartwarming in seeing GordWrong Clown’s usual tormentors united in their wrath against wimmin!
From Wikipedia…
william is protecting himself against zoophiles who are trying to ‘come in’ to his pack unannounced with their unwanted physical attention.
Oh, and mike lewis is a scum-shitter.
@Serton Ricks
I googled you and couldn’t find you.
What is “serton ricks” supposed to mean anyway? Certain… what?
Anyone?
Certain risks?
@victoire – ‘certain risks’ – You have to forgive William Taylor, the combination of painkillers and asthma medicine from being alternately savaged and then shed all over by his six chowchows was kicking in as he typed. He may be dead now and beginning to be nibbled on by his loving pets.
Off topic (a thousand apologies), but can I nominate Jeremy Clarkson for his own SYB article? The following incoherent diatribe clearly reveals the portly one to be a) a credulous nincompoop, b) a hypocrite, c) a self-appointed sage, d) racist, e) full of unfocused rage, f) a miscellaneous pratt and g) a stupendous animal fanny:
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/comment/columnists/jeremy_clarkson/article6907747.ece
My mates dad had a Chow, cute thing it was, used to hump itself silly on the arm of the settee, perhaps this is how Williams’ dogs saw off the uninvited guest.
‘serton ricks’, wasn’t he a writer in the 60′s?
Those chow-chows dribble like fuck mind. Early childhood trauma – meeting one at Ashby de la Zouch castle, and being told by it’s owner that it got nervous if you touched the back of its head, and you should only tickle it under the chin.
Now imagine six of the buggers.
Does william taylor write scripts for Allo Allo?
@Throbbe – which witch do you hold dear? Grotbags? Samantha from Bewitched? Ann Widdcombe? And what are you defending her from?
@Clovis – you hope.
Ann Widdecombe. Arsebiscuits.
Now that is an image that is going to wake me up screaming at 3 in the morning.
Still at least I will be awake in good time to text 1984returnsforreals’ Mrs.
@Bit Special
I suspect the mention of Alyson Hannigan was a reference to her character in Buffy the vampire slayer.
As a teenager I delivered newspapers to a house with a chow-chow. Used to charge head first into the gate in an attempt to attack me. Lovely dogs.
Like the fuck-mind of william taylor, I guess.
Say what you like about Tony Martin but at least he can keep his dogs under control.
Re: Jeremy Clarkson.
This could be straight from HYS. If Rupert wants to charge me for the Times then he has to get his columnists to do better than this:
Although when I got to the end of that paragraph I had the distinct impression that Clarkson was talking about, well, himself.
So william taylor is saying if we lose our rights to have guns and shit in our houses, this is our next best defence? x6?
http://yevrah.blogsome.com/wp-admin/images/ChowChow_2006New.jpg
I find myself in a position to advise that Tunnock’s teacake mallow is difficult to get off flat-screen monitors.
When I was a kid we had guinea pigs, and next door’s chow ate one and killed two more one Sunday morning. I wanted to wreak revenge on it with an axe, but my opportunistic dad made me chop sticks for the fire instead. The dog was called Chum, and lived to be about 15, which was regarded as a pretty good innings. We had a mongrel ourselves, called Nigger. I kid you not.
Basgy the right to shit in Clarkson’s house instead.
Bagsy. Fai-fucking-l.
Sorry, Peter Mandelson got there first. You can first dibs in his mouth though?
In defence of Ms Special, Grotbags was the first witch to come to mind. I’m not sure I wanted to take that thought any further.
Just had to add – six chows? Six??? That’s just cruel. Chow’s don’t really like being kept with other dogs – they fight each other if you have more than one. My sister has one – I think they were originally bred as fighting dogs, but hers is actually really docile. He’ll bark like fuck if anyone he doesn’t know comes to the house, but he’ll run away and hide if they come near him. I can imagine this guy’s chows do get agressive if he’s keeping so many of them together though, that’s a bad idea.
Actually, I think the guy’s dyslexic. The way he writes, his phrasing, isn’t indicative of someone who has that poor an education that he’d misspell words like “people” and “certain”. A dyslexic friend of mine writes in a very similar way. So either he’s dyslexic, or was in such a hurry he just smashed his head against the keyboard a few times, or it’s a pisstake.
Still a bit of a muppet, though.
Well, I hate Peter Mandleson too. I hate to agree with Clarkson (especially publicly, in a forum which does tend to err a teensy bit on the left side of the political spectrum, whatever you say), but, you know, on this particular point, I do.
I have no particular issues with pale blue jeans or anything like thatr. It’s just the fact that the man’s a massive cunt. I’m sure someone can think up an alliterative insult for him, or me.
Or both. Go for your life.
Oh, don’t worry. I hate Peter Mandelson too. But after keeping his gob shut for years, only ever talking about cars and then coming out as a rabid right winger, you have to wonder if Clarkson is a) doing it because it’s a popular stance, b) doing it because he’s popular and he can get away with it, or c) if he’s doing it because he’s just a giant twatbasket. Any one of these hypothetical reasons being true makes him a giant cunt.
What I object to in Clarkson’s little furore is that a) he suggests that he has any right to comment on appearance, especially in the jeans department, b) that he has any right to comment on appearance, especially in the historical hirsuteness stakes, c) that he thinks that he’s any less offensive than Mandy to ordinary people, and, d) that he thinks he’s got the big racist solution to leaving the country, when his rabid Euroscepticism necessarily leaves out the fact that there’s 27 other countries that the British have the freedom to live, work and prosper in. That is, unless Clarkson’s populist tone kicks in and a small minority wander around in peak caps with armbands trying to ruin the big Euro-orgy I’ve loved being a part of.
I hate Clarkson more than Mandy right now because at least Mandy isn’t in my newspaper being a giant fucking twatbasket, trying to be funny about how crap Britain is, and failing, and generally being a xenophobic beer-gutted cuntbubble that people use as a justification to tell everyone why Britain is fucked. Well, Clarkson says so.
Hurrah. Clarkson says a lot of things he has very little experience of or right to comment on, and that in itself makes him another mouthy gobshite with too much licence payer’s money stuffed in his back pocket while he complains about how shit the BBC is. Hoo-fucking-rar for the lowest fucking common denominator and biggest fucking hypocrite in the known universe, Mr. Jeremy Clarkson.
(:
That was slightly longer than I expected.
Short version: yeah, they’re both cunts.
Jesus Chris
I completely concur Clarkson says a lot he is not qualified to talk about. Prime example: Cars. He hasn’t got a fucking clue. Wasn’t it you who had a thing about journos? Not trying to bring all that up again, but it seems to me Clarkson is the perfect example of everything that’s wrong with journalism because he says things people already agree with. And he’s made enough of a mint out of it too. Bastard.
However, might I suggest a variation on explanation B? He’s always been a raving right winger, but I think the reason he can now get away with this is because of the Dirty Digger’s apparent change of allegiance, for want of a better word.
Nevertheless, I hate Mandy more.
When I say ‘people’, I should, of course, have said something like wankers.
…Apologies all round. Not that many people are likely to read this anyway, late in the day as we are…
How do people reading in Australia (there seem to be a few of us) manage to get involved with these chats so early? Do you have an internet in your house? Where can I get one?
I do find it strange that given Clarkson’s hatred of Europe, that everytime I see him on’t telly, he is always creaming himself over a Ferrari or BMW or Maserati or some such muscle car. Last I checked none of these are made within the realms of the Empire and are almost certainly made by Johnny Forriners. Just an observation, the man is still a cunt.
Zounds that Clarkson thing is painful. What a complete chuffmunch.
But I found the comment of Billy Barnett slightly more disturbing:
Billy’s utopian dream is a racist beach where you can idly flog your burka-clad wife whilst she knits.
Epic cognitive dissonance from Clarkson here:
No contradiction at all
Clarkson is a troll. If you take anything he says seriously, whether you’re pro or anti what he’s saying, the joke’s on you.
That’s totally me. Nothing I’m proud of.
In deference to Kelvin though, I’ll freely admit that I’m just the butt of one great big joke on the part of Clarkson. Unfortunately, I’d seriously believe he’s the anti-troll, because trolls don’t get paid six figure sums.
Also, in NZ – so to be fair to me, that’s right at the end of what I laughingly call my working day.
Which do I hate more – Clarkson or Mandelson? Decisions, decisions. I agree that Clarkson venturing an opinion on appearance, jeans, science or pretty much any subject you can imagine marks him out as a real cunt’s cunt. But then there’s Mandelson, cunting about in the House of Fucking Lords, like the 24 carat, ocean-going cunt that he is and always had been. In fact, one of the least offensive things about him was the moustache, and God knows that was offensive enough.
I’m going to have to vote for Mandelson, because although Cuntson is on my TV 24-7-365 (if your TV is permanently tuned to DAVE), Cuntson can’t actually change the law to suit his monied cunty friends in the City (whichever city that is – the city with all the money and the yachts and everything else that Mandelcunt is so intensely relaxed about other people having, as long as they pass a fair wedge in his direction).
So Cuntlecunt by a technical knock out.
@Jesus Chris
Haha, thanks for your earlier Cuntson link. Does he not know it’s bad to smoke when you’re pregnant?
Mandy and Clarko are pretty much polar opposites of the animal fanny spectrum – choosing who I hate more is like trying to decide whether war or famine is worse.
However, Clarko edges it for me on this one simply for having the gall to charge the Times for what is (at best) a low-grade HYS rant. Loving the ‘cognitive dissonance’ comment on Clarkson’s inability to grasp the glaring irony of his ‘war on scientists/obsession with the climate’ upchuck. Twat.
Complaining about the vicissitudes of life, in Britain or elsewhere, can be fun and amusing – see Charlie Brooker for example. Or Chaucer come to that. Clarkson (and I admit I was one of the wishy washy ‘oh he’s probably not that bad’ kind of people, only ever having seen TG and never read an article by him) simply isn’t funny judging by that rant – far less funny than most of the HYSers (I miss Cuger). That makes it easy to think he may be serious.
Ho hum – anyone got any jokes? And what’s that latest on Andy ‘fister’ Kadir-Buxton?
Regular updates on Andy can be found via the Facebook group or by checking out his profile and comments on the Graun.
Although nothing much happens in the mind of AKB, because he’s still talking about vaginas and digging a big hole in the ground and filling it with water.
I thought Mandelson’s silly moustache wasn’t because he was rabidly left-wing, but because he was desperate to be asked to join the Village People?? Or am I confusing him with some other ageing queen that I’ve heard about?
I thought that was Freddie. I heard he was desperate to drop Queen for the two hit wonderfulness and the inventive costumes.
The only problem was that Bruce Grant was the policeman, and Freddie had a low tolerance for… well, just for Bruce Grant. It’s not well documented, but it’s apparently true.
Aren’t silly little moustaches rabidly right-wing?