Aha, if it’s weaseling out that you enjoy, then I have to say I was in fact referring to Jetsun Jamphel Ngawang Lobsang Yeshe Tenzin Gyatso’s penis rather than a llama’s cock in my sign of.

Can you spot my mistake included to keep the fun going?

There gas been no “reduction” in taxation, you’re fooled by slight of hand.

Jeremy Beadle is a government consultant now? It’s political correctness gone mad.

I have just seen the best one ever, a 3 series on an 09 plate on the back of a wrecker , which was, for want of a better word, totalled.

Crumbs*, must take some impact to total a wrecker.

* sorry, been re-reading Richmal Crompton lately so my ejaculations are a little archaic at the moment.

However, I did notice the audience I was addressing (as in the above remarks), so the addition of the estate wasn’t calling it a “V90 estate” as such, but rather noting, for my audience, that the V90 was in fact the estate version.

But just so you know, it’s spelled “llama”.

There are only estate versions of the V90.

Although I was 15% wrong last time I pulled on my pedant’s pully and harassed you so perhaps I’m just a lama’s love truncheon.

I can’t drive. Do I win anything?

Probably a bloody car.

I like to wind up car nuts, even though it is too easy. You start by referring to all cars exclusively by their colour, so that new shiny silver sports thingy that they are so proud of is “a grey one”. Once they get annoyed and start insisting that I must be able to tell their pride and joy from a rust bucket I hit them with my grand unified theory of motoring which holds that “There are three types of car, akin to the three types of quark, flat ones, square ones and round ones. To insist otherwise is to persist in error akin to the alchemists.” This normally persuades then to talk about something else.

Hurrah!