Sometimes it gets hard to laugh at their giddy bumwank. Other times you barely have to try, it’s already pure, understated comedy genius.
What does Armistice Day mean to you?
50 million dead.
Lions led by donkeys.
A lost generation.
Maintenance of the status quo.
Forgotten pensioners.
The loss of innocence.
Drongo Umbongo, in the, Congo
Junkers for goalposts?
The starkest lesson to learn from WWI; the most significant thing we’ve given titled to unite the ‘World’ – mankind – was a WAR! The most horrific & casual loss of life we’ve ever known.
People of all backgrounds jumped to defend a nation & that generation is now passed, not merely in the flesh.
We owe an unimaginable debt for our ‘freedom’ to those who gave their lives for our country.
Thousands of people still jump to the chance to defend our freedom, that should NEVER be forgotten!
Oliver Westall, Somewhere in England, United Kingdom
Jump up, jump up and get down.
46 Responses to “House of Prats”
Did these guys confuse WWI with WWII?
Defending our freedom – lest we forget.
It’s the poster’s name that makes it funny. It’s like the Queen reading out a solemn address at the cenotaph and then riding back to Buckingham Palace in a horse-drawn clown car.
Just imagine poor Oliver Westall every Remembrance Day. In his living room in front of the service on the telly standing to attention in his father’s old military uniform, a tear running down his cheek as he furiously masturbates into a pile of poppy leaves.
I(and around 1 million others) jumped to the chance to defend our freedom last night on Modern Warfare 2.
With the exception of the torrent of abuse about my mom, I’d still jump to that chance again.
Stealth Badgers? Stealth stealth badgers more like, under New Liebore. It’s nearly 60% now. If I’m right.
Yes the “starkest” lesson is that this is the main answer that people would give on Blankety Blank when confronted with “World BLANK”.
Yes, “World War 1″ was our top answer. Closely followed by “Cup”,”Wrestling Federation” and “Of Wankcraft”.
Makes you think, doesn’t it? If only we can get “Cup” to come top, we’ll have something to be proud of.
They are getting on a bit so probably require quite a bit of maintenance now.
Is he trying to tell us that Francis Rossi’s septum was shored up & supported by the national health using tax payers money?
The great Catherine Oliver sums the whole thing up better than any spouting adult on there
“Defending our freedom – lest we forget.”
Gorrd bless you Millie, and everyone who sails in you.
Truly, are there any greater warrior/poet heroes than Diddy, Donkey, and Dixie? We’d be speaking ruddy German if it wasn’t for them.
“I(and around 1 million others) jumped to the chance to defend our freedom last night on Modern Warfare 2.”
Nerf riot shields, it’s what Churchill would’ve wanted!
WWI wasn’t about Britain’s freedom, it was about petty territorial squabbles in continental Europe.
More people died in WWII than WWI anyway, he HAS to be confused.
Indeed we can all learn a lot from Catherine Oliver’s wise words. To me I see things too subjectively. The Grand National, for example: I see the product of centuries of selective breeding of horses, their training and also the fantastic skills of the jockeys. Catherine sees horses going round a track – which indeed it is.
I also admire her tenacity when it comes to passing her driving test.
When asked by HYS what she would spend £45 million on she replied:
I just hope she has enough left after million or so lessons to buy a car.
Lovely.
I hear the economist is hiring. I eagerly await Catherine Oliver’s first article “Money is good. I wish I had a bit more money. I suppose poor people think money is quite bad.”
That’s not an extract, by the way, it’s the whole thing.
Which party is Catherine standing for next year? Catherine for PM, she will tell it like it is. Imagine PM questions and Cameron trying to get clever with her. Straight talking from British youth.Take note Neil, that’s how you get your point of view across.
I think Catherine’s succinct and direct style is what the media are crying out for.
Forget about the verbosity of broadsheet columnists making oblique cultural references and taking digression to an art form. Her answer to the question “What does Armistice Day mean to you?” was spot on – She didn’t even squeeze in a NuLiarbore.
The BBC should use her to replace Nick “Peter O’Hanraha-hanrahan” Robinson as political correspondent. Which would you prefer? Catherine saying something like “Tony Blair will probably not be the European President” or gubbins like this verbal piffle paffle:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/nickrobinson/2009/11/if_you_thought.html
In other words there is no news so I’m trying to write a few hundred words of nothing to sound clever.
“We can still enjoy a band after original members have left. however it may not be the same.”
love it.
Isn’t Jeremy Clarkson going to be PM? I’m sure I signed a petition about it, and that’s the way democracy works, isn’t it?
Catherine Oliver can’t be PM because you need to be 21 to stand for parliament, and she’s still at school. I suppose she could have been kept back to retake her A levels a few times. Or maybe Gordon Brown will do a Mandelson and parachute her into the House of Lords and bypass all that tiresome electoral nonsense. Such a bore having to get the proles to vote for you.
Rotwatcher – I think it’s now 18 to stand for parliament. Indeed – Emily Benn (Wedgie’s granddaughter) was selected to contest a seat in Sussex at the age of 18.
I think we will have to wait another few years before C Oliver sweeps in to parliament on a wave of support from the voters of her (and my) home town, and then a few months later by acclaim as the greatest orator-politician of our times and natural Prime Minister. This would usher in a Golden Age for the UK, and later on Europe as she is chosen to be the President of the EU.
It would be worth the wait, if I’m right.
Hahaha. Hahaaaahahaha.
That’s awesome. I have nothing else to say except thank you, History Crow, for that gift. It’s not even 9am and my morning was going exceptionally badly. Now I can warm my cockles all day with that quote from Catherine Oliver. I’ll be laughing literally all the way to the bank.
Haha.
favourite quote from Only Fools and Horses… Uncle Albert has got very pissed off about unruly teenagers skate-boarding all over the precinct and is now back in the flat, winding up a rant…
“Bloody kids! I fought for this country! Without me those kids’d speakin’ Kraut. I risked my life to protect those little herbert’s freedom. And what do they do with that freedom? Eh? What do they do with that bloody freedom??? … *sits down in a huff*… Anything they bloody well like.
Do you know I’ve become rather fond of Catherine. Ever since I found out she was still doing her GCSE’s I’ve found it hard to blame her at all for Having Her Say*
Recently she’s told us she supports the postal strike; that whoever becomes EU will do a fantastic job; that the Government should listen to scientists on cannabis and that she’s been bullied at school
Poor love. I’m with her all the way. She’s a breather from the wall of hate.
*- This is relative to the sea of nutters obviously!
I meant EU President.
It’s so humiliating when you have to post-script yourself
I take it Drongo Umbongo is one of the Rickmansworth Umbongos? His Uncle Eric had a bicycle shop if I remember correctly.
PML, isn’t it, hmmm?
I think if that was the formation there’d be a lot of donkey buttock being chewed on.
Only adopted by the most unwise donkeys presumably. (insert your own ass joke here)
What were the orders?- “Stop biting me”
We’ve been over this before concerning Catherine – I think she’s probably about 8 years old, and being brought up properly. Either that or 80 and completely fucking senile
A mouth breather?
Five English pounds to the first person who finds and publishes one of Catherine’s articles in Busy Bee on here.
I take up your challenge! The exchange rate can be the retail rate as of close of business, NZ time.
Take your pick.
My pick is from February, because she didn’t make it into the May 2009 edition. Awww.
Someone should let Catherine know about internet safety, by the way.
@Jesus – hmmm, thanks for that. Would it be unspeakably evil of me to register Catherine as absent using the email link under the “contacts” option on the web page…
Fancy St Wilfrid’s being into World of Warcraft.
DON-KEH!
Yeah, let’s really, really not do this. Keep it on here.
Nobody will speak to him that’s why. Apart from the police who have one or two outstanding arrest warrants in his name.
Catherine told HYS her GCSE reaults earlier in the year so she’s a bit older than 8.
And I think Kelvin is right – no cyberstalking – even in jest.
..blockquote cock-up aside, i’m still right.
and my moral compass is reset, thank you!
Catherine is really rather sweet – I hope mom and dad are keeping an eye on her online activities (although I doubt it…). Lets just keep our fingers crossed for her shall we?
I really meant it when I said someone should teach Catherine about online safety. Obviously neither mum or dad or the school have given her enough of a lesson to know what information you can get from just a Google search with quotes.
Considering what she gives away on fucking HYS, I get the feeling that a bit more digging and the rest of her IRL powerwords could be out there too. Not for searching, though: I think Catherine just needs the protection of a bunch of Hackers on Steroids, otherwise she might end up having to Buy A Dog.
Catherine Oliver on HYS’s “How can children be protected online?”
Oh she fucking said it, too.
I like her stance on the economy:
Could we please go back to ‘funny’; this is just being unkind to a child. I expect a better standard of c*nts round here.