Permanently Bewildered and Plain Weird20 Nov 2009 11:38 am
By Kelvin

Thanks to Simon for finding thomas thompson.

To be honest contrary to dis-information by unseen government spectres, most of the energy now being produced by nuclear power stations “provides” secretive underground establishments with their power needs. There is not a single minister with the guts to tell the truth about “the other world beneath”. Of course therefore more power stations would enable cheaper available fuel, for us above ground users!

thomas thompson, heacham, United Kingdom

What I like is that unlike most conspiracy theorists, Thomas is able to see the underground cabal of – well, he doesn’t specify but I suspect as usual in these cases they don’t eat bacon – as a largely positive thing. They’re probably running round the inside of the Hollow Earth making baby-alien hybrids, but if we build them a few more Sizewells petrol might drop by 5p a litre.

I have undergone many cerebral changes throughout my life. changes brought about by witnessing/encountering real phenomena! Close encounters with alien-craft. Observing the awaiting arms of seraphim when I drowned in 1996. There is an almighty being, whom in christian faith is represented by god, in Islam by mohammed. And so on. However I do not believe any faiths should be “interactive” , Individualism cannot be cloned. Iamwhatiam god

thomas thompson, heacham, United Kingdom

Maybe I’m being unfair. Maybe it’s not the shellfish-challenged breeding alienbabies in Shambhala. I mean, apart from completely bollocksing up one of the basic tenets of Islam, he’s a pretty inclusive and knowledgeable guy about religion. Also, I’m not sure what he means by “interactive” faith, but I hope it means Guybrush Threepwood having an insult duel with Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates.

69 Responses to “Underground Nuclear Jews”

  1. on 20 Nov 2009 at 11:41 am Rod Wrongnob

    Bring back queen victoria.

    Genius.

  2. on 20 Nov 2009 at 11:42 am Rod Wrongnob

    Unlike me.

  3. on 20 Nov 2009 at 11:54 am Lord Molecock

    When I read his first message, I immediately wondered how he knew, and envisaged me making a clever joke about him being abducted and taken down there. Then I pressed Page Down and the smile was wiped off my face. You cannot make up stuff remotely as mad as these people say.

    I admit the second message is more confusing than the first, but at least I can now strike up conversations with Muslims in an informed way.

  4. on 20 Nov 2009 at 12:05 pm i drowned in 1996

    I observed the awaiting arms of seraphim

  5. on 20 Nov 2009 at 12:17 pm Felna

    I am rubber, you are glue…

  6. on 20 Nov 2009 at 12:22 pm therika

    I drowned once. Luckily, the seraphims brought me back to life so I could inform mankind of the nature of the transcendental and of the evil underground conspiracy and of aliens and such. And I do this via Have Your Say, because there’s no way I’ll be mistaken for a crazy, and people will definitely listen to me. If those gutless world leaders don’t try to silence me first. Exclamation point!

  7. on 20 Nov 2009 at 12:26 pm i drowned in 1996

    And so on.

  8. on 20 Nov 2009 at 12:37 pm john Adair's Gerbil

    You know, for someone who drowned nearly 15 years ago, he’s pretty chipper.

    Maybe he found the underground civilisation as he scraped his way out of his coffin, but went down instead of up and found The Centre of the Eaaaarth!!! See!!! The Secret Rulers of Earth at work!!! Hear!!! Their devious plans for our womenfolk!!!

    If I’m right.

    Unless he was cremated, in which case I’m probably not.

  9. on 20 Nov 2009 at 12:38 pm serapher

    Are we sure this chap isn’t joking..?

  10. on 20 Nov 2009 at 12:44 pm Mr Cat

    Are you sure there’s a jewish consipracy undertone here? I remember David Ike was accused of the same when describing the illuminati as giant child abusing alien lizards living under the whitehouse.

    People said it was some sort of anti-semitic metaphor but, as Jon Ronson point out at the time, it was actually because he REALLY believed that giant child abusing alien lizards lived under the whitehouse.

  11. on 20 Nov 2009 at 12:58 pm Philbert

    How appropriate – you fight like a cow.

  12. on 20 Nov 2009 at 12:59 pm radiatorlizard

    Also, I’m not sure what he means by “interactive” faith, but I hope it means Guybrush Threepwood having an insult duel with Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates.

    I hope so too. And if God turns out to be a grog-swigging pirate wearing an “ask me about Loom” badge, I would be even happier. Also, a piratical heaven would go some way towards explaining what the seraphim were doing hanging about the site of his alleged drowning.

  13. on 20 Nov 2009 at 1:00 pm Rogue_Leader

    most of the energy now being produced by nuclear power stations “provides” secretive underground establishments

    Did I miss a meeting? Is ‘provides’ not a real word any more? I really should keep an eye on my RSS…

  14. on 20 Nov 2009 at 1:09 pm Joe

    Mr Cat, there’s no question that Icke genuinely believes in the whole alien lizards there. There’s also no question that while he continually protests that he’s not an antisemite, he has a remarkable history of giving material support to frothing batshit neo-nazis like David Irving and that nutter Zundel. He was given to citing Irving as a martyr to free speech because Irving was suing another writer for calling him an antisemite, and gave him space on his website to flog his books in order to fund the prosecution.

  15. on 20 Nov 2009 at 1:10 pm therika

    I wonder if the hosts of Heaven are actually the singing pirates.

    “We’ll surely avoid scurvy if we all drank some divine ambrosia”

    “I heartily agree, as it would make our lives much rosier”

    Wait a minute… I think I broke it. Guess that’s where eternity comes in.

  16. on 20 Nov 2009 at 1:20 pm unpaid bill

    Government spectres, nuclear power, underground establishments, drowned and saved by seraphim in 1996? Sounds like the aliens crept into your room one night and replaced your brain with steaming heaps of shit. Good for them!

  17. on 20 Nov 2009 at 1:26 pm Mr Cat

    Sorry Joe I was just lahguing at teh sputid (well isnane actually) didn’t mean to raise hackles

  18. on 20 Nov 2009 at 1:37 pm Sam

    The concept of Government employed ghosts and gouls sounds scary enough for me, but ghosts and gouls employed by the Government to write propaganda?

  19. on 20 Nov 2009 at 1:38 pm millie

    Never realised lizards don’t eat bacon. My terrapins used to love it.

  20. on 20 Nov 2009 at 1:58 pm Gridlock

    To be fair to him a) remember all that hoo-haa about that Walham sub-station that was defended during the floods, because (according to the media) tens of thousands of homes would lose power otherwise – the truth is that this unassuming little sub-station fed Aldermaston and GCHQ

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/6912650.stm

    and b) drowning doesn’t have to involve death, just the removal of oxygen from someone by water. “Waterboarding” isn’t simulated drowning, it’s simulated dying through very real drowning.

    He obviously has issues though.

  21. on 20 Nov 2009 at 1:58 pm Pirate Pete

    Karaoke pirate here :)

    Oh dear, another HYSer who has clearly stopped taking his prescription medication… I had a friend who developed serious mental illness in his mid-twenties and it’s no fun watching someone descend into madness – I really feel for the people who are having to deal with this illness.

    Oh dear, my pinko liberal bleeding heart is showing again isn’t it…

  22. on 20 Nov 2009 at 1:59 pm A Morlock

    The Eloi you call ‘Thomas Thompson’ escaped our Seraphim warriors once – but soon will be the time for our nuclear-powered invasion of the ‘upper world’!

  23. on 20 Nov 2009 at 1:59 pm That Bloke in the Corner

    And the winner of this year’s most fetching Tin Foil helmet goes to………….

    thomas thompson,of heacham, United Kingdom

  24. on 20 Nov 2009 at 2:00 pm Octopoid

    First you’d better stop waving it like a feather duster.

  25. on 20 Nov 2009 at 2:09 pm Theodore

    I’m not sure if many of you are familiar with the works of Robert Rankin. He is a moderately successful author, blues musician and deep-sea fisherman.
    Most of his literary works are descibed as far-fetched fiction and do cover diverse topics such as alien lizard beings, Shambhala and Underground esablishments (capital U because usually they are based in Mornington Crescent Underground station). Either Mr Thompson is a big Rankin fan or when he drowned he didn’t only get rescued by the Seraphim but also mild brain damage.

  26. on 20 Nov 2009 at 2:17 pm millie

    @Karaoke Pirate Pete

    Oh dear, another HYSer who has clearly stopped taking his prescription medication… I had a friend who developed serious mental illness in his mid-twenties and it’s no fun watching someone descend into madness

    Quite scary the first time you experience it second hand, but I have one friend who’s come out the other end and now says it was actually quite an amazing experience. Not one he would necessarily want to re-live mind, but certainly not all bad.

  27. on 20 Nov 2009 at 2:21 pm Anne Morlock

    He’s got a poin there

  28. on 20 Nov 2009 at 2:24 pm Anne Morlock

    “poin”?!

    pint, obviously

  29. on 20 Nov 2009 at 2:24 pm Anne Morlock

    point, darn it

  30. on 20 Nov 2009 at 2:30 pm john Adair's Gerbil

    @Gridlock

    Coming in here, bring your so-called “facts” in to a perfectly rational discussion about underground denizens. You know what all these secret underground nuclear power stations mean?

    Wombles, armed with very, very tidy nukes.

    Great Uncle Bulgaria has finally worked out that the only way to keep the common clean is to remove the sources of the litter – humanity.

    Forever.

    On what the survivors will call “Oi! Put That In The Bin Day”, Wombles across the planet will rise from their burrows and launch their stockpile.

    Only one man will be able to lead us, and he must send an agent back in time to the 1980’s, when shoulder pads were big and hair bigger, to protect his mother before he is born. Wombledyne sends back a Terminator Womble to destroy the future before it happens.

    The Future Begins Here, On Wimbledon Common. Tonight…

  31. on 20 Nov 2009 at 2:41 pm Ugly Pirate

    @Anne Morlock

    I’ve got a little TIP for you. Get the POINT?

  32. on 20 Nov 2009 at 2:42 pm My Foot Hurts.

    Oh dear, John Adair’s Gerbil has been forgetting to take his medication too…

  33. on 20 Nov 2009 at 2:47 pm My Foot Hurts.

    Well, well, HYS is suffering technical difficulties. AND there happens to be an EU question on HYS at the moment. Coincidence..?

    Well, yes, obviously. But I bet the HYSers don’t see it that way.

  34. on 20 Nov 2009 at 3:37 pm History Crow

    Foot, like a bird’s foot!

    I hope they start up another one of those Editor’s Blog style apologies for the downtime! Priceless!

  35. on 20 Nov 2009 at 4:15 pm melanie philips wanks over pictures of hitler

    You’re as repulsive as a monkey in a negligée!

  36. on 20 Nov 2009 at 4:17 pm A Morlock

    @Anne Morlock “pint, obviously”. Oh go on then.

  37. on 20 Nov 2009 at 4:28 pm EviltheCat

    Kelvin, you fight like a dairy farmer

  38. on 20 Nov 2009 at 5:20 pm Kelvin

    I had a comment typed up about how ultimately all conspiracy theories lead back to The Jews, but the site threw a 500 just as I tried to submit it and now it’s gone. Nelson stop censoring me!

    PS I fight like a horny tiger on PCP.

  39. on 20 Nov 2009 at 5:21 pm Rogue_Leader

    To be honest contrary to dis-information by unseen government spectres, most of the energy now being produced by nuclear power stations “provides” secretive underground establishments with their power needs. There is not a single minister with the guts to tell the truth about “the other world beneath”. Of course therefore more power stations would enable cheaper available fuel, for us above ground users!


    thomas thompson, heacham, United Kingdom

    Funny, I read this a few times and I can’t detect a trace of anti-semitism. Still, let’s not let the actual words get in the way of a good lynching, eh?

  40. on 20 Nov 2009 at 5:46 pm Kelvin

    Maybe I should have said something about giving him the benefit of the doubt. I could have used words like “perhaps I’m being unfair.”

  41. on 20 Nov 2009 at 5:54 pm Deacon Lowdown

    What kind of asshole actually uses the word seraphim?

  42. on 20 Nov 2009 at 5:57 pm Kelvin

    St. John the Divine, for one.

  43. on 20 Nov 2009 at 6:12 pm spungin imgrunt

    Even BEFORE they smell your breath?

  44. on 20 Nov 2009 at 9:00 pm My Foot Hurts.

    Funny, I read this a few times and I can’t detect a trace of anti-semitism.

    Yes, Rogue_Leader, and that in itself is suspicious, is it not? The tenth letter of the alphabet is, methinks, conspicuous in its absence…

  45. on 20 Nov 2009 at 9:16 pm john Adair's Gerbil

    I’ve been taking my medication.

    But I’ve been washing it down with a bargain job-lot of pear cider while tidying the house.

    Aye, yer mah besth mates, so youse are.

  46. on 20 Nov 2009 at 9:50 pm millie

    The tenth letter of the alphabet is, methinks, conspicuous in its absence…

    Bet that triggered lots of finger-counting.

  47. on 20 Nov 2009 at 10:09 pm Cab Grunter

    Remember, when you find this underground world, make sure you’re able to construct a rudimentary voodoo doll to defend yourself from LeChuck

  48. on 20 Nov 2009 at 11:36 pm cpir

    Puts me in mind of this rejected petition from the Number 10 website…

    http://petitions.number10.gov.uk/ObjectivCurrency/

    We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to stop the psychological currency – get ego-free physics value system and in view of that implement technical programs to secure inintellectual property.

  49. on 20 Nov 2009 at 11:54 pm Schroduck

    For anyone curious, this is what Seraphim look like.

    Not many arms. But hey, if I saw a baby’s head glued to six burning eagle’s wings, I’d be fucking scared too. Can’t blame him for forgetting a thing or two in fear.

  50. on 21 Nov 2009 at 1:14 am Pirate Pete

    Eww – in that case I prefer those chubby little cherubim. Why couldn’t they have visited him as he was descending into an icy grave?

  51. on 21 Nov 2009 at 1:19 am Jesus Chris

    Kelvin

    I had a comment typed up about how ultimately all conspiracy theories lead back to The Jews, but the site threw a 500 just as I tried to submit it and now it’s gone. Nelson stop censoring me!

    It’s the self-aware computer again. Controls the power, too.

  52. on 21 Nov 2009 at 3:35 am The Seraphim

    Actually, we were just trying to grab a few lobsters for dinner. If we gave Tommy any other impression, that’s regrettable, because we think he’s a piranha’s private parts. (We like seafood.)

  53. on 21 Nov 2009 at 10:08 am millie

    Thom Thom probably went for Seraphim not Cherubim cos he was worried about being called a Peedo.

  54. on 21 Nov 2009 at 11:57 am Mr God

    Oy, Seraphim! NOOoooo!!!

    I’ve told you before, that lobster isn’t kosher! There’s plenty of birds of the air or fish of the sea for you to eat. Leave those bottom feeding crawly things alone!

  55. on 21 Nov 2009 at 12:34 pm Rotwatcher

    most of the energy now being produced by nuclear power stations “provides” secretive underground establishments

    Did I miss a meeting? Is ‘provides’ not a real word any more? I really should keep an eye on my RSS…

    He put the word in scare quotes because he knows that the truth is that the energy now being produced by nuclear power stations “completely bypasses” secretive underground establishments. But you don’t have clearance to know that. Which is why I’ve had to arrange to have you terminated with extreme prejudice – i.e. modded.

  56. on 21 Nov 2009 at 10:53 pm language police

    What kind of arsehole uses a word like asshole? Unless you’re an American, in which case please feel free ….

  57. on 21 Nov 2009 at 11:42 pm Blah Witch

    why is provides in “”. Surely he is making a statement of fact with that comment. It’s not like they have been providing nuclear energy but with conditions or something. Like stroke my cat. It “may” not bite.
    Fuck I am pissed. Block quotes rule. Neil Craig is a cunt.

  58. on 22 Nov 2009 at 6:07 am the 3rd world child, that annoying immigrant

    To be fair to him… and b) drowning doesn’t have to involve death, just the removal of oxygen from someone by water. “Waterboarding” isn’t simulated drowning, it’s simulated dying through very real drowning.

    Drowning is DEATH from suffocation (asphyxia) caused by a liquid entering the lungs and preventing the absorption of oxygen leading to cerebral hypoxia and myocardial infarction.

    At least as far as Wikipedia knows. Thus, in all fairness, we can’t be fair to Thomas.

  59. on 22 Nov 2009 at 6:21 pm Rogue_Leader

    Bet that triggered lots of finger-counting.

    Wouldn’t work anyway. I’ve got eleven fingers. I think.

  60. on 22 Nov 2009 at 6:22 pm Rogue_Leader

    And evidently no idea how to close a blockquote properly.

  61. on 22 Nov 2009 at 11:05 pm random punter

    The “Should police visit every crime victim?” thread is bringing them out in their hordes. http://tinyurl.com/ybk97uu

    george blake chips in with an old favourite :

    Why do many people moan at being stopped all the time by police for doing 32 mph on 30 mph streets and yet other people claim they never see police on the streets. Both statements cannot be true.

    A fair point well made there, george. Why is that extra 2 mph so important that you have to keep doing it and consequently keep being stopped? Does it provide a means of getting a personal hearing when reporting a crime? The next time I’m knife-crimed I’ll just jump in the car and set the auto-pilot on 32 mph, and the old bill will materialise out of thin air to hear my plaint.

    And Graham has picked up on something too –

    Added: Sunday, 22 November, 2009, 20:48 GMT 20:48 UK

    Is this not what happened prior to Tony Blairs government?

    Graham, Harleston

    Yes Graham, it is. And judging by the calibre of the alleged cops posting on that thread, the reason you could always count on their attendance was that they were probably doing the crime. Nowadays they have to sit in the station writing about other, less well-trained criminals. How it must gall them to be reduced to that. No wonder they don’t like NuLiarBore.

  62. on 23 Nov 2009 at 2:34 am The Seraphim

    But Mr God, they’re just so tasty! Honest, they’re as good as cloven-footed animals and apples!

    Oh, fuck….

  63. on 23 Nov 2009 at 3:14 am Jesus Chris

    I like the way [Oldgibber] makes the British people’s relationships with the government sound like being married to Jeffrey Archer.

    I suspect that we’re going to get more and more of these “initiatives” the nearer we get to an election, as this sorry apology for a government tries to con us into forgetting twelve years of lies, deceit and betrayal.

    [Oldgibber], Harlow

    Next thing you know the government will be offering the taxpayers £50 for a nice new dress, go on, you deserve it, I know I’ve been horrible, but I can make it up to you…

  64. on 23 Nov 2009 at 11:57 am Boring Doc

    Drowning is more about the inflammatory reaction in the lungs caused by the irritant i e water,then cerebral anoxia that’s why emptying them out when back on dry land doesn’t work. Methinks that SS had a fair bit of this and is working on about two neurones now……

  65. on 23 Nov 2009 at 2:01 pm pigfrottage

    What about this little gem:

    All I would expect from a justice system is to see justice is done. The police waste enough time re-capturing known offenders who go to court just to be released in time for tea and their next little adventure. To visit the victims over an over would only double the time wasted. All criminals should be branded so everyone will know they are not to be trusted. This includes politicians, bankers and CEO’s who have been convicted not just the local villains. Dye their hands and face green.

    [domthegrumpyoldman], Runcorn, United Kingdom

  66. on 23 Nov 2009 at 4:02 pm Henry's Cat

    Clem Snide has it about right in “The Ballad of David Icke”.

    Thomas Thompson may relate to the fact that it is more plausible that his girlfriend was stolen by the illuminati than he was dumped.

  67. on 24 Nov 2009 at 12:19 am Fact Police

    To be fair to him a) remember all that hoo-haa about that Walham sub-station that was defended during the floods, because (according to the media) tens of thousands of homes would lose power otherwise – the truth is that this unassuming little sub-station fed Aldermaston and GCHQ

    Really? A single sub-station (in Gloucester) feeding sites in Cheltenham and Reading?

  68. on 24 Nov 2009 at 1:42 am Jesus Chris

    Fact Police

    Really? A single sub-station (in Gloucester) feeding sites in Cheltenham and Reading?

    Not really a single substation, or a little one. Walham is fucking massive. It’s a National Grid substation, which as you probably know is different to the substations you get at the end of the road, which will invariably be owned by the local distribution company. It supplies half a million people with power coming straight from the National Grid into regional infrastructure, so it’s a bit different from the end of your road brick square substation.

    At that level, there’s little or no redundancy – that means that it’s either too expensive or impractical for an alternative route for power to be made available.

    However, because Walham is north of Gloucester and Aldermaston is about 100km SE, I don’t think that Aldermaston’s loss of power would have been a threat, as redundancy would have been available at that level. GCHQ and the half a million homes (although the real figure would have been less than that, because there would have been alternative power available for at least some of those homes) would have been a good enough reason for protecting Walham.

    Although GCHQ would have had its own generators on standby,
    the fact that it’s a huge National Grid substation and repair costs could have spiralled into the tens of millions, as well as the effects of losing power to a couple of major towns, would have been a good enough reason to protect it like they did.

  69. on 24 Nov 2009 at 1:49 am Mole King

    No one can escape the lair of the molemen…