SS isn’t pleased, and gives us a fascinating insight into the mind of the Have Your Sayer, (Well, the Daily Mail equivalent, it could be any idiot comment monkey on the internet). What happens when you’re long-term unemployed, and were the thickest in a thick workplace before that? How can you possibly convince yourself of your superiority to the rest of the pathetic human race? Simple: just take the only thing you’re good at in the whole wide world, and judge everyone else solely against that one yardstick. Please note: this may require extensive scraping in the lower regions of the barrel.
Why do they let these idiots on these programmes and waste our airtime? They should thoroughly test the contestants to make sure they are intelligent enough. Whenever I answer the Mastermind questions at home I always get the vast majority of them correct. The same goes for all the daytime quiz shows.
The standard of education has slipped too far in this country. We have ended up with a low IQ workforce or at least it was 10 years ago when I was made redundant.
- SS, London
Perhaps I was too harsh with SS. He/she does have more than one talent. Inadvertently confessing feckless stupidity to the internet, for one thing. Plus, I’ll wager SS wanks and eats Pringles with more skill and finesse than any of us ill-educated pond-scum could ever conceive.
33 Responses to “Master of Mastermind”
I auditioned for Mastermind four years ago. I thought I was fucking clever. SS might like to know that I ‘got the vast majority’ of the questions on the show correct as well, when I watched it.
In the audition I was asked a set of 20 general knowledge questions that might appear on the show. I then left the room, having first had my arse handed to me on a plate.
I now accept that I know fuck all about anything, and humbly suggest SS puts his name forward for the next series.
Wanking Pringles sounds really painful. That is all.
After ten years of nothing to do but watch daytime quiz shows, you too can impress your friends.
Because of course the value of time spent slabbed on your arse gawping at a quiz show is directly proportional to the scores that the contestants achieve.
Similarly, when the judges on a talent show say they are impressed with a participant’s performance, the nagging feeling that I could be doing something productive and positive with my life is far less pronounced than when they deride the pathetic hopefuls.
As for dramas that I watch in the hope of a flash of nipple, it really is all or nothing.
10 years ago, when you were presumably part of that low IQ workforce?
What does the SS stand for? (Squeaky) Seagull Snatch?
He’s so smart, he was made redundant 10 years ago and still hasn’t been able to find a job – Probably because he is so smart. I am sad that I am an employed un-intellect when SSs like these are unemployable
I hope he’s/she’s/it’s just a meme.
Well, you know what they say – once you pop, you can’t stop…
SS is the weakest link in the food chain. Universally challenged. I’m sorry, he hasn’t a clue. He’s a total blankety blank loser. A drain of Britain.
etc. etc.
Of course, SS is ignoring the fact that the average IQ of the workforce would have risen when he was made redundant.
Give him his due though, he did win “Who Wants To Be a Twatbasket?”
I met a lovely bloke once when I was working as a postie. He told me that all his life he knew he was going to be a rock star until one morning he woke up and realised he was a postman.
I think SS had the same epiphany when he was made redundant. Suddenly he realised he was born to be a stupid, bitter, twisted, lazy, useless scrounging fuckwit.
And good luck to him.
I liked this comment :
“that guy did his best i suppose, however something does not seem to add up im positive i have seen this guy on tv before can anyone tell me its doing my head in
- judith hines, manchester, 19/11/2009 22:03″
Well these ethnics do all look the same don’t they Judith?
‘Wanking Pringles sounds really painful’
But much preferred to wanking Doritos especially ’spicy nacho’.
And, coincidentally, the workforce IQ shot up when you were made redundant, or were sacked for being an irritating know-it-all, or maybe not.
What possessed the unfortunate contestant to opt for ‘Angels’ as his specialist subject? Maybe an angel appeared before him and told him to do it promising divine help, then returned to heaven where he and the rest of the angels sat back and pissed themselves laughing as the contestant floundered.
Well I mean it’s dead easy, innit. Angels, what’s there to know? Floaty white things, got wings and halos, there was one what spoke to Mary called Gavin or something. I’ll walk this one. Walk it. Surprised no-one’s ever thought of choosing such a piss-easy subject before, frankly.
Doh, it’s the tube you use, not the crisps themselves.
” They should thoroughly test the contestants to make sure they are intelligent enough. ”
THEY DO YOU THOROUGHLY UNPLEASANT TOSSER.
Nick Mazonowicz, 34, Second Place in First Round of Mastermind Heats 2006.
And when I call the prime minister he always answers and takes my advice, and the queen pops round for tea and cakes on a Thursday, and the voices I hear in my head are real,and when I mention this in job interviews, they always say ‘we’ll be in touch’, but never are.
Same reason they run HYS. To make you feel special.
Totally unrelated but I thought that I’d post this anyway as it made me chuckle.
From the Guardian ‘comment is free’ site,
“hrrrmnvonrompuy
23 Nov 2009, 2:35PM
East Anglia university is a club of leftwingers and they truly are exposed now.
To say different with “many many” doesn’t change that.
They have no credibility. Neither does the IPCC.
Despite all the funds clunked into near fascist “universities”, it turns out they cannot rebut fault pointed to them by even freelancing/pensioner sceptics.
To the contrary: These freelancers keep finding faults to the extent that this fasicst clerus only can resort to character destruction.
Europe is back to the middle ages with their posh lefty establishment, and there is only one way to reverse that: The right.
-Liblabcon can express how to “invest” in windmills at the expense of taxpayers.
-BNP can formulate an alternative.
We will make an educated choice.”
Same here.
Mind you, that might be because I only answer the questions I know the answers to. I can’t be arsed with the ones that are too hard.
@melanie etcetera etcetara and soforth.
What? They’re words, yes, I can tell that. Sentences, even, given the capitals at the beginning and punctuation.
But they fail at the hurdle of expressing meaning. I <i?think he’s saying Vote BNP, because East Anglia Univerity thinks I’m a goldfish’s gonad because they keep throwing me out of the union bar because I’m 70 and like looking at the young ‘uns.
If I’m right. Which, as I think I’m saying Vote BNP, I almost certainly am not. Because the BNP is a centrist party and not, in any way, shape or form, a bunch of aardvark’s anuses.
Arse, got the italics wrong. Oh well…
It’s the repetition that makes it funny … or maybe not.
Is there some course what I can do? Pensioner sceptic, now there’s a job I fancy. Pensioners? Bah! That’s what they’d LIKE you to believe.
@melanie blah, and then @JA’s gerbil…
…I think that he came along with life experience and was told to fuck off, working in a garage for your entire life wasn’t work experience relevant for a PhD in Climate Science.
Henceforth, his emails were ignored by the CRU and there was even a restraining order taken out.
A bit like the CRU should have done to Stephen “58 FOI requests in one day” MacIntyre.
Personally, I would have reached that point and binned every single request and sent him 58 replies reminding him of the clause in the FOIA that bars “vexatious” queries.
Interestingly enough I was watching the angels guy on the monitor when it was filmed – my Mastermind episode was later on that day and I was in the make up room at Granada Studios.
Funnily enough, in order to get on, I was “thoroughly tested to make sure I was intelligent enough.” And happily I got a high enough score that SS, in his grimy dressing gown eating a pot noodle, won’t be able to sneer at me.
Loving the BNP rant bit. It is award winning in my view.
The awards are:
1) Most total misinterpretation of audience. Blaming the left wing university types on the *Guardian* website?
2) Most erroneous use of the phrase “educated choice”.
(a) by not giving any education as to what the BNP’s alternative policy actually is.
(b) The notion that the *educated* choice is to ignore the majority of scientific opinion.
(c) That the educated choice would be expressed with such lack of basic English skills. What is a clerus? Google has it as the name of a really obscure Turkish saint.
He also gets a notable mention in:
The “copying your opponent’s slurs” category, for his overuse of the word Fascist.
The “inappropriate use of inverted commas” category for “universities” and “invest”.
7rew, very close to becoming the “Spelling Police” there *wags finger*
I’d love to know the reason for his incoherent rant about the uni though – oh the mystery of it all…
“What possessed the unfortunate contestant to opt for ‘Angels’ as his specialist subject? Maybe an angel appeared before him and told him to do it promising divine help, then returned to heaven where he and the rest of the angels sat back and pissed themselves laughing as the contestant floundered.”
Soddit!
“What possessed the unfortunate contestant to opt for ‘Angels’ as his specialist subject? Maybe an angel appeared before him and told him to do it promising divine help, then returned to heaven where he and the rest of the angels sat back and pissed themselves laughing as the contestant floundered.”
Yeah, but laughing at the easily led is pretty much all the fun we get. That, and moving the thing you just put down, and hiding your car keys. Anyhow, we don’t laugh much since Mr God stopped us eating lobsters. We now eat eagles, and they taste scratchy.
Here is the Daily Fail’s original article on Mr Burton’s performance, giving some of the questions he answered in a deferred-success way.
Here is the brilliant follow-up Daily Fail article with Mr Burton’s claim that he did badly deliberately. Read it and gweep [sic - Viz lives].
Pirate Pete, the reason that ‘hrrrmnvonrompuy’ has the bone about UEA is because of the hack (or whatever) of one of UEA’s servers. The climate change septics are all wanking their pringles about a few stolen emails, even though it is all completely irrelevant to the science. Basically, a scientist laughed when a Denier died, therefore all scientists are twats, therefore science is wrong. That is the main thrust of the argument, as far as I can tell. Boneheads. A guy I have the deep misfortune to know has been banging on about it for days, but then he is one of the “Alien Jewish Lizardmen Ate My Hamster, So Vote BNP” crowd. I think maybe he drowned once, or something.
Haha! He is f***ing redundant!?!? What a loser! He is a total joke. Lets spend more time mocking him.