Permanently Bewildered26 Nov 2009 10:53 am
By Kelvin

Occasionally we accuse the Have Your Say mods of not even trying any more, usually when they come up with a topic like “Do you agree with unchecked immigration?” or “Immigration: bad, or really bad?” or “Can you think of any imaginative nicknames for New Labour and/or Gordon Brown?” This time around though, they’ve pulled their fingers out. The question, “Should The Queen’s Speech Be Cancelled?” is at least one degree removed from “Fill the little white box with your impotent whinging” and requires the HYS faithful to exercise at least a little mental effort to turn it round to their favourite subject. It’s like Brain Training, but for people with the brain age of a orange.

I agree with Nick Clegg, Britain is in a hell of a mess what we do not need is more legislation, or new policies, a root and branch search for recovery should come first as Out of all Europe Britain is still in recessionand the Queens speech seems soem what irrelative.

jim evans, brighton

Yep, what government should do is get us out of this recession, but not by passing any of that difficult-to-comprehend legislation or having any of those silly policies or anything. They should think about the problem, like jim evans has.

No the Queen should still make her speech.

She should start it by saying:

“This government has totally failed Britain. I hereby dissolve Parliament until the return of democracy to Britain through proportional representation.”

Indigenous Englishman, Shoeburyness, ENGLAND.

I think she should start it with a joke. It could go, “A Chinaman, an Indian and a Somalian all walk into a bar and my husband enormously offends them all.” Props on your solution for the undemocratic resolution of democracy though.

I would rather listen to a thousand Queen’s speeches than listen to any of our political leaders even once!

Ben, Brighton

That’s our Queen that is, hardest working woman in politics. As well as all the queening, she has to think up all the forthcoming legislation for the entire year and write a speech about it all on her own, with no help from those political leaders. Good on yer, ma’am.

41 Responses to “Soem What Irrelative”

  1. on 26 Nov 2009 at 11:23 am millie

    Soems as if Jim Evans knows that irrelative is ‘a rare word for irrelevant’. I thought it meant ‘not being a relative’. Which makes Jim Evans cleverer than me.

  2. on 26 Nov 2009 at 11:44 am Schroduck

    Wait… Britain’s never had proportional representation. If that’s the only democratic system, surely it’s not a return of democracy, per se.

    But it doesn’t matter. Indigenous Englishman’s idea of proportional representation is a bit different to yours and mine. He basically wants his proportion of the vote to be 100%.

    Thanks for linking his profile btw, saving me precious seconds to find this gem:

    There will never be an agreement on climate change, because it is an outrageous fiction created by Margaret Thatcher in the early 80s for political gain.

    God, Maggie was such a dirty hippie, eh?

  3. on 26 Nov 2009 at 11:49 am Schroduck

    Also, sorry to double post, but:

    Is social networking undermining community life?

    Facebook, Twitter etc. create world communities and help break down cultural barriers.The opposite is true of religion, which creates division among peoples.

    Indigenous Englishman

    Does Twitter matter?

    Twitter never had any magic. It is populated by exhibitionists and stalkers.
    I really have no interest in the minutiae of someone’s life, where they’re drinking coffee, what they’re eating etc.

    If Twitter disappeared tomorrow it would make zero difference to my life, or to anyone else who has a life.

    Indigenous Englishman

    Discuss.

  4. on 26 Nov 2009 at 11:53 am Rod Wrongnob

    The Queen’s speech is on for about 10 minutes. And who actually listens to it? Aren’t we all busy opening our presents and eating our dinner at that time?!
    Helen T

    I think that counts as a yes.

  5. on 26 Nov 2009 at 12:03 pm burnel

    Brighton seems to have changed since I lived there, or are Jim Evans and Ben acid casualties? Not entirely irrelative.

  6. on 26 Nov 2009 at 12:28 pm Oaf

    I do like this one though:

    DEBATE:
    What does faith mean to you?

    To me, ‘Faith’ means the person who claims to have it should never be permitted to hold any office of responsibility. Just like any other adult who openly claims to believe in fairies, ghosts, giant-sky-genies, or imaginary friends.

  7. on 26 Nov 2009 at 12:29 pm Oaf

    Arsequote!

  8. on 26 Nov 2009 at 12:36 pm Philbert

    I would rather listen to a thousand Queen’s speeches than listen to any of our political leaders even once!

    Ben, Brighton

    I just had a vision of a thousand Queens, all speaking in unison… terrifying.

  9. on 26 Nov 2009 at 12:53 pm Charles Exford, Oxton

    Discuss

    “Indigenous Englishman” is an idiot?

  10. on 26 Nov 2009 at 1:43 pm Kelvin

    Thanks for linking his profile

    I thought everyone might find it enjoyable. For certain values of “enjoy”. I have a feeling that the Regular Twats category might have a new friend.

  11. on 26 Nov 2009 at 1:50 pm Edwin

    I love the way some people believe the royal family have any relevance, or do anything with their lives a papier mache head on a stick couldn’t do.

    A recent radio advert about a DVD of the Queen Mother gushed on about how she had ‘devoted’ her life to her country.

    What else was she going to do, run a pub?

  12. on 26 Nov 2009 at 2:00 pm millie

    papier mache head on a stick

    Perfect description of what being part of the monarchy really means – vive la revolution!

  13. on 26 Nov 2009 at 2:19 pm Ugly Newt

    [...] which creates division among peoples

    It has already created a division in “Indigenous Englishman”.

  14. on 26 Nov 2009 at 2:29 pm Goldstein

    Also, sorry to double post

    What? You’re not on Have Your Say now, Schroduck. No need to hold yourself to such high standards.

  15. on 26 Nov 2009 at 2:54 pm clute

    Look at you all , showing off with your fancy quotes. *sniff*

    Indigenous Englishman should be on Twitter just to follow a fellow true Englisher: http://twitter.com/realnickgriffin

    Jim Evans has been featured on here before. He seems only slightly more literate.
    http://ifyoulikeitsomuchwhydontyougolivethere.com/?p=2223

  16. on 26 Nov 2009 at 3:07 pm Rod Wrongnob

    Edwin:

    the Queen Mother gushed

    Eurrgh. More care with adjacent words please.

  17. on 26 Nov 2009 at 3:12 pm Jones

    I really have no interest in the minutiae of someone’s life, where they’re drinking coffee, what they’re eating etc.

    Irony, sweet irony.

  18. on 26 Nov 2009 at 3:25 pm My Foot Hurts.

    How embarrassing for Jim Evans. He uses a posh word like ‘irrelative’ all erudite like, and then goes and spells ‘somewhat’ as two words. And gets one of them wrong.

    That’s assuming, of course, that he knows what ‘irrelative’ means and he hasn’t just misspelled ‘irrelevant’. I realise this is entirely possible.

  19. on 26 Nov 2009 at 3:26 pm That Bloke in the Corner

    Facebook, Twitter etc. create world communities and help break down cultural barriers.The opposite is true of religion, which creates division among peoples.

    Indigenous Englishman

    Hold on, isn’t this the same Indigenous twat who is always banging on about how multiculturalism is bad and ruining Ingerland. Nobjockey.

  20. on 26 Nov 2009 at 3:44 pm Rotwatcher

    That’s assuming, of course, that he knows what ‘irrelative’ means and he hasn’t just misspelled ‘irrelevant’. I realise this is entirely possible.

    I assumed that it wasn’t a typo or misspelling but rather a thinko, save that the pre-requisite of a thinko is the ability to think. Which rules out jism, I’m afraid.

  21. on 26 Nov 2009 at 4:12 pm ligne

    i love how injunous englishman thinks everyone is so fascinated by his keyboard-feltchings that he feels the need to make the same post again and again over the course of days:

    http://newsforums.bbc.co.uk/nol/thread.jspa?forumID=6939&start=45&edition=1&ttl=20091126150927#6585562

    http://newsforums.bbc.co.uk/nol/thread.jspa?forumID=6939&start=1935&edition=1&ttl=20091126150928#6580719

  22. on 26 Nov 2009 at 4:15 pm ligne

    oooh, ooh:

    Would you like to live to 100? Not in Blair and Brown’s broken Britain.

    does that mean we can cull him now? pleeeeeease?

  23. on 26 Nov 2009 at 4:27 pm That Bloke in the Corner

    @ligne, not so much as a cull, but a mercy killing.

  24. on 26 Nov 2009 at 4:44 pm millie

    @My Foot Hurts & Rotwatcher
    You’re both wrong and Jimbo’s right: http://www.thefreedictionary.com/irrelative

    Fact.

  25. on 26 Nov 2009 at 4:52 pm Kelvin

    Yep, I’m sure that someone who randomly capitalises words, organises a sentence the way a careless chef organises cooked spaghetti and doesn’t know that “somewhat” is one word also knows a word so obscure that it doesn’t exist in the compact OED and even in dictionaries where it is listed it’s invariably described as “rare.” He’s practically Shakespeare, really.

  26. on 26 Nov 2009 at 6:38 pm millie

    Perhaps he actually meant ‘irreverent’?

  27. on 26 Nov 2009 at 6:59 pm Paranoid Mandroid

    Yeah, and I’m pretty sure that “soem” wasn’t a typo either, but rather an entirely apposite reference to Soem Ngam, a district in the western part of Lampang Province, in northern Thailand.
    He’s a bright one is our Jim…

  28. on 26 Nov 2009 at 7:22 pm Doc Wrong

    From Indigenous Englishman -
    “…… ‘scientists’ on the Man-made side of the argument have been deliberately falsifying data, misrepresenting their figures, and politicising the argument….”

    “…..and How typical of a Labour minister to think he knows better than a qualified expert in the field.

    This shows Labour’s total disregard for academic advice, and shows they will do anything for political gain…..”

    Wow the hypocrisy is just wonderful!
    Of course his name implies that hypocrisy is his middle name – does that mean he thinks he’s descended from Angles, Saxons or Normans? Respectively Germans and..err.. Normans

    Oh and of course according to the Guardian/Observer series on Kings and Queens the last English monarch was Richard the 3rd, the subsequent lot being Welsh Scottish or German
    Indy Engy is a Sloth’s Slimy Scrotum of the 1st order

  29. on 26 Nov 2009 at 8:07 pm millie

    Yeah, and I’m pretty sure that “soem” wasn’t a typo either

    It being a reference to Lampang Province in Thailand seems unlikely though. Perhaps Jimmy Shakespeare is in fact alluding to Lizzie’s speech sounding like a soem

  30. on 26 Nov 2009 at 11:11 pm Paranoid Mandroid

    @millie

    As much as I like urbandictionary.com, isn’t a poem sung like a song…a song?

  31. on 26 Nov 2009 at 11:26 pm Paul A

    Oh joy. Looks like I am well on the way to getting my Daily Mail worst rated comment badge of honour. Second place and rising.

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1230943/Climate-change-scandal-BBC-expert-sent-cover-emails-month-public.html

    Just pissed off that my other comment has only got 50 negative recommendations.

  32. on 27 Nov 2009 at 12:00 am one of the eds

    I don’t think Indigenous Englishman has quite grasped the concept of “democracy”, has he?

    But I do love the idea that the Queen could bring it back by kicking out the elected (no matter how feckless) government and then… what? Sounds like all she has to do is sit around and wait. Awesome. Let’s try it.

  33. on 27 Nov 2009 at 12:09 am Hootie McBoob

    Yep, I’m sure that someone who randomly capitalises words, organises a sentence the way a careless chef organises cooked spaghetti and doesn’t know that “somewhat” is one word also knows a word so obscure that it doesn’t exist in the compact OED and even in dictionaries where it is listed it’s invariably described as “rare.” He’s practically Shakespeare, really.

    Slightly OT Here But I Absolutely Love People Who Capitalise Every Word In Whatever Brain Spurt They Emit On The Interwebs. They Make Me Feel All Warm And Fluffy… But they also make me tired, cos I found it fucking painful to have to capitalise every fucking word!

  34. on 27 Nov 2009 at 1:38 am Jesus Chris

    Schroduck

    Wait… Britain’s never had proportional representation. If that’s the only democratic system, surely it’s not a return of democracy, per se.

    But it doesn’t matter. Indigenous Englishman’s idea of proportional representation is a bit different to yours and mine. He basically wants his proportion of the vote to be 100%.

    Well, no. The dumb shit has cottoned on to the fact that PR is used in the EU elections, and that the BNP had a shot with PR, gaining two seats out of 78 in the entire country. I mean, I presume that’s why he uses “Indigenous Englishman” as his handle. Because he likes the BNP’s version of history.

    He thinks that PR is the answer to the BNP foot-in-the-door they’ve seen in the European Elections, without quite going all the way to understanding that PR in the UK won’t be using the EU party list method because we have too many fucking MPs in the first place to have party lists.

    I do like his solution though, because it reminds me of my TrotsKyite past – except the dictatorship of the proletariat on the way to a true worker’s paradise has been replaced by the dictatorship of the monarch on the way to a democratic system that requires a calculator to work out who won.

    HURRAH.

  35. on 27 Nov 2009 at 3:46 am occident

    There will never be an agreement on climate change, because it is an outrageous fiction created by Margaret Thatcher…

    I wonder if it was this same Labour trait for ignoring professional and academic advice that got us into an illegal war for the first time in our history?

    Ignoring academic advice… a dangerous idea.

  36. on 27 Nov 2009 at 11:06 am Kelvin

    By the way, don’t forget to join us on Monday when we’ll have a selection of comments from the latest have your say, “Should the bankers who made everyone redundant get more money?”

  37. on 28 Nov 2009 at 7:15 pm Makhno

    “Maggie invented global warming” is actually quite a popular conspiracy theory among the BNP crowd and other so-far-right-they-really-do-think-Maggie-was-a-liberal types. They live in an alternative reality where the need to save the planet was the rationale for shutting the mines, so they claim she dreamed up global warming to give herself an excuse to pick a fight with the NUM. People’s ability to believe total bollocks in the face of evidence is scary.

  38. on 06 Dec 2009 at 5:24 pm JS

    I’d like to point out that the queen does have the power to dissolve Parliament.

  39. on 06 Dec 2009 at 8:53 pm Fred Tiddlypop

    Well, at least Pa McDoom and Pals, especially my liege lord, Mandelson this will be their last ‘Big Speaks’ written by McDoom’s speech Writers.

    At least ‘Der Neues Partie Der Arbeits’ New Labour), realised that it has been rumbled by the public. Pa Broone has realised at last that the ‘Bells of Dooms’ are tolling for him and his Pseudo-Marxist Pals.

    (Yes, pseudo-marxists. Quite a few of Liarbor’s Ministers and Ex-Ministers toyed with communism in their student days. So, who know how many of them still carry a candle for Pa Stalin and the old Soviet Union. Methinks a few shed a few tears when the Berlin wall came down.

    (Fred Tiddlypop in ye township of Port St Wenn & Gaverne, in the County of Kernaw. Being of sound mind, and, yes, I have all me marbles Hehehe)

  40. on 06 Dec 2009 at 9:26 pm Ed aka Cuger Jaggar

    (Fred Tiddlypop in ye township of Port St Wenn & Gaverne, in the County of Kernaw. Being of sound mind, and, yes, I have all me marbles Hehehe)

    According to you.

  41. on 06 Dec 2009 at 9:27 pm Kelvin

    Hi there, Fred Tiddlypop! What a wacky kind of name that is for a person who learns all of his opinions from the Daily Mail! I think you might have confused us with people who want to know what you think you think! In fact we don’t care about your political analysis one jot! Fortunately there’s a place that does! You can find it here! Methinks a wacky old marble-retaining communist-paranoid bad languager like yourself mayhap findulate a friend or sixty over yonder!!!

    I’d like to point out that the queen does have the power to dissolve Parliament.

    And I’d like a horse and a Ferrari, but that wouldn’t stop the notion of one person dissolving parliament being the only way to “restore” democracy being both terribly ironic and a bit fucking thick.