We normally don’t cover the political blogosphere for the same reason we don’t hang around fish-filled barrels holding shotguns or punch ourselves in the face until our fists bleed, but Alan has found us a gem of a comment from Guido Fawkes (Honestly, don’t even read the article itself, or if you do, don’t discuss it here).
It really is incredible – this evil man is the Devil himself.
Look at the date that Brown became the unelected Prime Minister;
27th June 2007.
The Tewkesbury floods hit a few weeks later in mid July 2007.
I was made redundant for the first time in 30 years in October….2007.
Everywhere,simply everywhere he goes,a trail of utter chaos and ruin
follows him;Factories close,industries collapse,children’s financial future’s
dissolve,wars happen,economies shredded,bereaved mothers insulted…it
goes on and on and on.Perhaps he will be available for an updated “The Omen” film?
Gordon Brown – The Omen.
While we’re discussing updated films, I’ll see if I can get Lars von Trier on the blower. We’ve found the perfect lead for a remake of The Idiots.
53 Responses to “Undeniable Correlation”
Yes! (My death will cause no tears and leave no positive mark on this world)
What a Spaniel’s cunt.
I didn’t read the article either…
Good Lord! I saw all the clues and thought that something was fishy, but it wasn’t until I learnt that this guy had been made redundant that it all suddenly clicked into place! That one tiny clue completed the jigsaw!
Seriously, what a bell-end.
The ellipsis after October is the best bit. It’s as if he expects jaws to drop when he reveals that the year this happened in was… 2007! The same year Brown took over!! What are the odds that someone would be made redundant in that year?????!?!?!?
What he doesn’t reveal is that he wasn’t made redundant but rather fired for breaking the “magnify” function on the office copier while trying to photocopy his cock. And for being a deranged donkey’s dong.
Ye Gods it’s 8-37am on Friday November 27 2009,and I’m drinking coffee, see what you’ve done now Brown!
I think there’s supposed to be something significant about the date Brown took the PM’s office: 27/6/07. I suppose if you take the 2 from the 27 put that 7 with the other 7 to make 77, then take the 2 from the 77 you get 75. Add 7 and 5 and you get 12. Divide the 12 by the 2 and what do you get? 6 and 6. Along with the original 6 that’s 666. It makes sense that someone who’s been redundant for 2 years would spot the Countdown version of the Number of the Beast.
I try to limit myself to the brain-nasty vitriol of HYS in the belief that this is as bad as it gets – just to preserve my own santiy.
When a window opens into the poltitical blogosphere it is like looking at some sort of fetid mindwarped hell.
so scary it messed up my spelling too
Kelvin, you’ve won Dusty Bin!
My sister had one of those. Fucking thing featured in every nightmare I had until I was fourteen.
What I want to know is how anyone found that comment among the 423 brainspurts? It must have taken a particularly strong constitution.
now would be a good point to note that paul staines is a herpes-ridden heffalump’s hump-hole. not as much as “gordon brown – the omen” (was that his name, or just the tl;dr version of his post?), but a commendable effort nonetheless.
laugh at the prick:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2r5d2Ccpo3I
personally, i think that if gordon brown can call down the wrath of the gods in the form of a second deluge and redundancy, we should let him be PM for as long as he wants. otherwise May 2010 will be marked by rains of blood, giant moths eating tokyo, the explosion of the sun, and someone getting toothache.
This is the work of Grassy Knollington from Viz and I claim my five pounds.
Yep, I remember the 26th of June 2007. The world was at peace, there had been no wars for countless millenia, the jails were empty, everything was free. And that sod Brown came along and ruined it all.
Still, it’s not all bad.
In 2007 …. I had many orgasms, sometimes not on my own.
Not on your own what?
I notice Fuckston McTurdbubble completely disregards the floods in Yorkshire that preceded the ones in the south, the solipsistic sparrow-shaft.
“wars happen”
Can I just say that my comment (the first on this Post) has been edited. In the brackets it did say “first post” but now it says “My death will cause no tears and leave no positive mark on this world”.
What?
WHAT?
Whilst I whole heartedly agree with the sentiment, editing my own comment on an unrelated topic is surely not the way for someone else to express this?
You cheesy-bell-sniff.
Then don’t cunt up the comments by being all “first post!” and I won’t edit your comments into something more appropriate.
I’d say something amusingly pithy* on the matter but am now too busy doing the ‘3-2-1′ gesture.
*No fucker better say ‘unlike your usual comments then’.
I too had nightmares about my brother’s Dusty Bin. Perhaps me and Kelvin need to set up a survivor’s group.
There is indeed something special about that part of the political blogosphere. It’s a world in which the desire to be seen as a Tourettes-suffering golf-club bore outweighs even your love for an icon like Melanie Phillips. Thus her fan zone offers treats like this:
Melanie has a cunt like a stamped bat
Imagine what they say about people they dislike!
Bloody hell that Guido Fawkes website is a mess.
It’s like a trip back to Geocities or something. Eew.
Hang on, he’s onto something.
Take 2007:
20 – 7 is 13
or thir – teen!
thir rhymes with spur, whih is what a cowboy has.
cowboys ate beans.
Beans rhymes with teens!
Ah, but hidden away amongst the comments is this gem “Ms Palin makes my winkle feel funny
call a doctor!!!!”
Posted by ‘I am a fucking twat’. Sometimes humour doesn’t need to be subtle, intelligent or original to make me fuck up my keyboard with coffee
Thanks to Hillhunt for the biased bbc thing.
It introduced me to the insult “Bukake faced tosspot” which I’ve never heard before.
I was going to submit some of the stuff to SYB, but frankly there is just too much material. You might as well come and have a look for yourselves. It starts off as a fairly innocuous thread about climate change deniers fabricating temperature records, but around comment 32 Yanks from a rival site arrive and the fun begins with Melissa:
Then CHARLES:
It goes on like that for another 300+ comments. Enjoy:
http://scienceblogs.com/deltoid/2009/11/new_zealand_climate_science_co.php
I’ll bet October 2007 was also the same month he started spending 8 hours of each working day pissing and moaning about Gorden Clown in Guido’s comment boxes, nudging the ‘Show Desktop’ button every time his boss walked past.
Actually, I got a nasty papercut in November 2007. “Never mind,” said I to myself, “that’s what you get for not doing any heavy lifting.”
If only I’d known then what I know now.
Oh hang on… just wanted to get some pointless ellipsis in.
Why is “planet” in quotes? Is this in fact meant as a sly dig to all those “round Earthists” who foolishly claim the “planet” is round or “spherical”, when Melissa has seen to heart of the conspiracy – the world is flat, and round Earthism is all a big hoax by the cruise companies to flog their “round-the-world holidays”.
Deltoid’s a good source both for serious climate information and hilarious denying nutjobs. But if you want more of a UK bias in your twatbasket, without any pretence of fair reporting from the news items, the Register’s a fine starting point. The average commenter there thinks that it’s all a ZaNuLieBore conspiracy to achieve an Orwellian dystopia in which they have to turn off their lights (and computers, obviously) before they can have a wank.
Even better, the comment system has just changed so that you can now an see individual commenter’s posting history.
More from Melissa:
The Oxyrinchus papyri version of Revelations gives the Number of the Beast as 616* which is worryingly close to the title of Radio Fives footie phone in show 6-0-6. So,far from being godless leftie atheists the BBC are actually Satanists paving the way for the Devil’s dominion.
Oh, and if you listen to Gordon Brown’s speeches backwards you can hear the words, “I’m Satan, I really am him, on your knees, suck my scaly cock and eat my black jizz you worms.”
Or something…
*Or so said Stephen Fry on the QI repeat on Dave last night.
Those comments were hypnotic. Purile internet insults mixed with arguments about weather data.
‘Look, you stupid arsehole, there are fundamental problems with IPCC reports, and even a fucking stupid cunt like yourself should be able to notice that rain fall in the four last quotas has not been consistent with reports from the met office… you fucking TWAT.’
‘What the fuck did you just say? YOU WANT ME TO COME ROUND YOUR HOUSE AND SHOVE THOSE QUOTAS UP YOUR FUCKING ARSE?’
Can I just say that I love the Glenn Beck show?
I’ve had to get special gerbil-nappies because I piss myself laughing after 2 minutes.
I’m sure that the American Right are gibbering the way they are because of sincerely held intellectual beliefs, and not because he is black.
If I’m right.
I go on an American Cross stitching site (well I am a woman!) and there are some mental wimmins on there. They loathe Obama, love guns and are the most scary religious people I have ever had the misfortune of “meeting”.
I don’t need to read political blogs or even dabble in looking at the Daily Mail site, all I need is my daily look in on a website dedicated to lovely, kind, genteel rabid right wing cross stitchers.
If you love batshit-crazy American right-wing Christians, you’re going to love THIS shit:
http://www.youtube.com/user/mrswhitford
‘Grandpa’s burning in hell’ is particularly choice. Praise be!
‘Shit’ twice in one sentence? Very poor effort.
What’s an American Cross?
Spesh, I particularly liked the lesson on “How to approach a homosexual“.
I was always taught that we should approach homosexuals from the side, because they don’t have peripheral vision.
But apparently I’m wrong in several respects. For one thing, all homosexuals apparently dress like women and talk like the voiceover guy from the Discovery Channel. And this one clearly sees our Christian friend approaching from the side.
I’ve started to wonder what other things I’m wrong about.
For full-on bonkers US fundamentalist fun, go here: http://www.rr-bb.com/ and choose from many topics.
@How to approach a [crossdresser]
If they think same-sex relationships are so wrong how come they worship ‘that homosexual Lord Jesus’?
@Burning Grandpa
So basically the message here is ‘if you ever want to see your Grandpa again make sure you do loads of unforgivable sinning’.
Hard to believe this shit is for real.
“Burning Grandpa” proves one thing.
Stephen Hawking wants you to be christian, indeed a christian of one particular denomination that only exists in the South of America.
@Mr Tickle – that’s one scary, misspelled, ungrammatical, god-praising clusterfuck of a site. Thanks! As one commenter said “All evil needs to prosper is for good men to do nothing.
Pacifism is good men doing nothing…”
Praise the Lord and pass the ammo.
Oh my, Bit Special, that is by far one of the wierdest things I’ve seen for ages. Kind of reminds me of Charlie the Unicorn, in an odd way. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J7VjUYGpsWM
@Bit Spesh
Oh, I don’t know,I thought only using ’shit’ twice showed remarkable restraint. Having watched I’m thinking more ‘Batshit crazy, shitting shitty, shit shit.’
Anyway, I’m off to join the Masons, put on a dress and have some good rough bum sex while licking my wife’s boots and she whips me – anything to avoid getting stuck in heaven with Mrs. Whitford and her ilk. OK, so it’s not that much of a stretch, only joining the Masons would be something I’d not be doing most weekends anyway.
I’ve never actually seen Guido Fawkes before today, though I had heard of it.
What a miserable, illiterate, idiotic wanker magnet; inconceivably worse than I’d ever imagined.
Funnily enough the religious cartoons just make me laugh, like that mad guy in Oxford St who shouts “fornicator” at me every time I walk past.
And yet Nostradamus doesn’t mention Gordon Brown at all.
2007:
Spider-Man 3 released
Basic Instinct 2 released
Gordon Brown ate my baby
Coincidence? You decide…
Oh sweet Jesus fuck, I just went into Yahoo! Politics.
I just cannot see how such a person can actually exist. I’ve got this idea of a hypothetical moron, propeller cap, slapping himself in the side of the head, emitting “hur dur dur” sounds from his constantly hanging open mouth, and yet I can’t get him to say this and stay realistic. What is going on?
I believe it’s one of them parody thing.
Don’t worry, s’not real. Mrs Whitford’s youtube channel links to her twitter stream, which links to Landover Baptist.
http://www.landoverbaptist.org/thestaff/ladies/marymaria.html
I note that there are an increasing number of women, or rather corporate women, sporting Sarah Palin hairstyles. It’s scary. These are relatively well-paid, supposedly educated women, choosing a haircut that advertises, “I am a brainless right-wing cunt only fit for fucking and being dumped unceremoniusly the next morning, or better still directly after orgasm”.
No wonder so many of their employers are losing money.
Poe’s Law strikes again.
Magic. If only I’d have known what the significance of three shit things happening in the same year meant, I’d have…
…learned how to punctuate, maybe.
Loving the “how to approach a homosexual” instructional video
Although they’re a bit 20th century in their approach – everyone knows that these days we are known as “homosexualists”. And anyway it ignores the basic premise that we are going to be the ones approaching you, rather than the other way around… I think
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