HYS questions sometimes get phrased in a rather odd way. You get the main question – Should there be an upper limit on pay? in this case – then a series of curiously-bolded subquestions to try and make you really “think” about your answer. Does any job deserve a £1m salary? Do you earn a million pounds or more? The relentlessness of the questions coupled to the utter blandness of the subject makes it a bit like being interrogated by the W.I.
No
Finnish Viewpoint, Helsinki, Finland
Recommended by 50 people
So 50 people agree that either there shouldn’t be limits on pay, or no job deserves a £1m salary, or they don’t earn a million pounds. This is why HYS is so good at capturing the national mindset.
I dont see how anyone on the planet could possible need more than 60k maximum per year.
Valkyrie woody, Burton on Trent, United Kingdom
….you obviously haven’t met my girlfriend yet!
RYAN GRIFFITHS, SOUTHAMPTON, United Kingdom
If you have to pay her that much, technically the word “prostitute” is more accurate than “girlfriend.”
If I take my life savings and open a shop, employing lots of people, paying them wages, paying employer’s national insurance. If that shop buys things, benefiting the supplier, and then sells them and provides great service and I happen to sell a million things at a profit of £1 each, why am I not entitled to the million pounds profit?
I took the risk, I employ people, I provide work to suppliers…and I’ll be paying £400,000 in tax!
Andrew Carter, London, United Kingdom
Yeah, Andrew Carter, why not? You could get off the sofa right now and open that shop. Take your hand out of the bag of cheetos and sell those million things. Stop masturbating to This Morning and provide that great customer service! David Jason and Lynda Baron are just waiting for you to take that risk, you fiscal dynamo!
40 Responses to “Unhappy Finnish”
If only Andrew Carter has spent his life savings on opening that shop instead of spending it all on Tennants Super, Superkings, Japanese pornography and lawyers fees for overturning his restraint orders.
Predictably, a HYS climate change thread unleashes a tidal wave of idiocy.
I gave up trying to work out exactly how many things about this post are so objectionable.
Is Ryan touring the country with his ‘high maintenance’ girlfriend then?
Comrade Toolovsky,
Your body is only 0.02% iron. Care to have it removed as it’s obviously making no difference?
Bagsy me to be the one that does it, using, I don’t know, some kind of fucking magnet or something.
Ekcol
I guess that’s the idea. Their first line of defence is flooding their posts with inumerable spurts of brain-wank so they prevent any sort of coherent argument. A similar principle to “blnding with science”.
The second is posting on HYS where nobody posts coherently anyway.
Or something.
Looks like Ryan thinks all the questions are compulsory:
What a plan! And, rather sweetly
Quickly passing over the Micawberish armchair economists, we come to a gem of wisdom from Malcolm Williams:
Sadly, this pithy aphorism is just too brief, in that it takes no account of APR, BPR, equity release, the nil band or discretionary trusts.
And another response to Valkyrie woody:
Yeah, that told him/her/it. The Somalian Premier League is rubbish.
I have to agree with Ryan Griffiths, 60K for an imaginary girlfriend is a bit steep.
I’ve been a bit harsh on the SYB mods in my last few posts and I should apologise. I think they did a great job of digging up a representative HYS twat to go on last Friday’s Have I Got News For You.
He really won’t. I’d like to reassure Andrew, or Brian, or whatever his name was, that Britain operates a progressive taxation system based on a tiered rate, and he in fact has a generous tax free allowance of £6,475.
In actual fact he’d pay £5,984 in taxation on the first £37,400 and a mere £384,040 on the rest, giving us a grand total of £390,024.
See, it’s not all doom and gloom. And to put the cherry on the cake, he doesn’t have that taxation problem, so it’s all good in his world. Hurrah.
Was that Alexander Armstrong, or was it Bob Fucking Crow?
Bob. Fucking. Crow.
And anyway under Brown’s “harsh” tax regime he’d end up paying ten bob to the state, ten grand to PwC and suddenly his terribly successful shop would be headquartered in Guernsey.
Fucking Bob “Fucking Bob Crow” Crow the fucking cunt, yes.
Only if he’s stupid enough to pay it into his wage packet. He would be better off taking it as capital gains and applying for entrepreneur’s tax relief (applicable on the first £M profits).
He’d only pay about 110K, tops.
But he’d have to sell the shop to claim that. And it’s such a little earner he’d be mad to do it!
Nice little article in the Guardian today, about the first artificial meat created in a lab. If you were a vegetarian, would you eat it?
I’m not sure whether PinkTank1 would:
Hopefully he’s also be up for teaching those in 3rd world countries spelling and grammar.
I’d stuff it under my mattress.
I don’t think it matters what Andrew would do with it. You see, the destination of Andrew’s million – his own bank account – reveals that Andrew would be negligent in taking it all for himself.
He clearly says that the business earned £1 profit for each thing sold – that’s a clear indicator that Andrew has a cavalier attitude toward the use of profits. You see, Andrew should pay 21% corporation tax on that million pound profit on the provisio that business profits go back into the business and generate local growth.
But no. What a greedy cunt he is. He’s going to let those suppliers go without business, and he’s going to fire his staff and close his shop for his £10k GCT relief and 40% rate above.
What a twat.
Yep, it seems that our budding entrepreneur / fascist capitalist doesn’t understand the different between salary and dividends.
Maybe he’d like to explain how he managed to raise the capital to expand a business from zero to a million units in a single year? Is there a market value for used kleenex?
£400,000 in tax? If only, yep. Let the fucking workers pay for the rubbish collection, transport infrastructure, legal system and…erm.. society that makes it possible. Bloody communists..
maybe RYAN GRIFFITHS just hasn’t yet figured out that S&M with your inflatable girlfriend is likely to lead to punctures.
comrade toolovsky should be encouraged to ingest 0.038% of his body-weight in sarin. after all, such a low concentration could never have any effect, right?
“Was that Alexander Armstrong, or was it Bob Fucking Crow?”
How can anyone find that profoundly unfunny poo gargling twat stain less offensive than Crow?
In the green room after the show, I understand Crow and Hislop were seen scoffing lobster and quaffing bubbly whilst Armstrong and Merton were nibbling at cheese and pineapple and throwing peanuts in the air and catching them in their pints. Jimmy Carr told me.
Because even on his unfunniest, stainiest, poo gargliest day, Alexander Armstrong doesn’t randomly close essential bits of London’s transport infrastructure because he doesn’t like the colour of the mug his morning tea came in.
That’s a bit unfair – Paul Merton’s much less offensive than Crow. Ok, not much less offensive, a bit less offensive.
And it’s Melanie Fucking Phillips with two fucking ells.
More of Andrew Carter’s little turd parcels-
Wow Andrew you have opened my eyes. I had no idea the hours were so demanding in the anal gimp profession.
bollocking shitwanking blockquote pissflaps.
Fixed it for you.
60k? The deluxe latex model with lifelike hair only costs £258,95 (inc VAT)- or so I’ve been told (ahem).
Did I miss the bit where Kelvin was killed and replaced by your run-of-the-mill union-bashing HYSer?
Anyway, better that than doing your best to encourage the spread of measles by putting it about that MMR gives children autism as has that priggish, pompous, pious, Cameron fellating, smug prick Hislop.
Ian Hislop played only a very minor role in the MMR nonsense of a few years back.
Bob Crow on the other hand is a very major bastard.
It is important to give union types the benefit of the doubt when they look like twats in the press because the press will always try to make them conform to their stereotype of an luddite twat. Sensible demands for things like safe working conditions are ignored for too boring and not fitting the imposed narrative while perceived “wrecking” is played up. As such I have tried to give Crow the benefit of the doubt even though everybody tells me that he is a twat. I have tried to ignore the criticism of the man and focus on the union’s actual grievances. As such, I was rather disappointed to discover from watching HIGNFY that he really is a massive twat after all.
Of course, here at basket.com, we have no union problems as all the workforce are too young to join a union and we don’t give a toss about the train strikes as First Capital Connect don’t serve our Vietnamese sweat shops anyway.
Anybody want to buy a basket? Very cheap!
Mal
Because even on his unfunniest, stainiest, poo gargliest day, Alexander Armstrong doesn’t randomly close essential bits of London’s transport infrastructure because he doesn’t like the colour of the mug his morning tea came in.
Did I miss the bit where Kelvin was killed and replaced by your run-of-the-mill union-bashing HYSer?
Ah, so you’re apparently someone who’s never had to get from Wembley to Kennington on a day when Bob Crow has decided that he wants to squeeze Boris’ balls for an extra 12%, when you’ve just taken a 5% cut across the board to stop everyone getting fired or projects going down and having a whole heap of suppliers lose contracts and fire their staff…
…this isn’t a HYS whinge, just a statement of fact. The fact being stated is that Bob Crow is a cunt, and the quicker he’s dead from his must-be-pending heart attack, the better.
It does bear a passing resemblance to “moaning about shit on the internet” though. Mind you, I don’t live anywhere near London, so who am I to talk..
It does, but there’s a fine line. I mean, no-one has portmanteaued or altered Bob Crow’s name so far – haha, Bob Crow? You mean Nob Crow, haha!
Also, I moved as far away from London as I could possibly get, so I have no more complaints about Bob Crow. He’s still a twat, though, and I’m not looking forward to the time we have to move back – because although Bob Crow is a twat, Boris is an even bigger twat, and an argument between those two often turns into a tiring game of who can behave the twattiest, with the only loser being Poor Cunt Commuter…
…fuck it, I’m never moving back to London. Not for at least £75k.
That effectively means I’m never moving back to London, by the way.
That effectively means I’m never moving back to London, by the way.
I, for one, am devastated.
If only because you won’t be able to teach me blockquotes…
Like these ones?
I would spend half of it on drink and women…. and waste the other half.
That’s okay, I can move back just for you. Every morning I’ll turn up and place my balls on some of your property while you’re sleeping.
Because that’s my job. That’s what I do for a living. I place my balls on people’s properties for disproportionate financial compensation.
In fact as I recall it Street of Shame and MD have been on the correct side of the MMR debate since relatively early on. Certainly ahead of any of the tabloids.
A very large bastard indeed. A hulking great fat bastard of a bastard. Oh wait, silly me, I’m bashing the wonderful blameless RMT which is just trying to prevent drivers being fired for opening the doors on the wrong side and then trying to get away with not reporting it. Better get myself back to HYS pronto!