Ian Hislop played only a very minor role in the MMR nonsense of a few years back.

In fact as I recall it Street of Shame and MD have been on the correct side of the MMR debate since relatively early on. Certainly ahead of any of the tabloids.

Bob Crow on the other hand is a very major bastard.

A very large bastard indeed. A hulking great fat bastard of a bastard. Oh wait, silly me, I’m bashing the wonderful blameless RMT which is just trying to prevent drivers being fired for opening the doors on the wrong side and then trying to get away with not reporting it. Better get myself back to HYS pronto!

fish slap

That effectively means I’m never moving back to London, by the way.

I, for one, am devastated.

That’s okay, I can move back just for you. Every morning I’ll turn up and place my balls on some of your property while you’re sleeping.

Because that’s my job. That’s what I do for a living. I place my balls on people’s properties for disproportionate financial compensation.

How would you spend £45 million?

I would spend half of it on drink and women…. and waste the other half.

If only because you won’t be able to teach me blockquotes…

Like these ones?

I, for one, am devastated.

Also, I moved as far away from London as I could possibly get, so I have no more complaints about Bob Crow. He’s still a twat, though, and I’m not looking forward to the time we have to move back – because although Bob Crow is a twat, Boris is an even bigger twat, and an argument between those two often turns into a tiring game of who can behave the twattiest, with the only loser being Poor Cunt Commuter…

…fuck it, I’m never moving back to London. Not for at least £75k.

Because even on his unfunniest, stainiest, poo gargliest day, Alexander Armstrong doesn’t randomly close essential bits of London’s transport infrastructure because he doesn’t like the colour of the mug his morning tea came in.

Did I miss the bit where Kelvin was killed and replaced by your run-of-the-mill union-bashing HYSer?

Ah, so you’re apparently someone who’s never had to get from Wembley to Kennington on a day when Bob Crow has decided that he wants to squeeze Boris’ balls for an extra 12%, when you’ve just taken a 5% cut across the board to stop everyone getting fired or projects going down and having a whole heap of suppliers lose contracts and fire their staff…

…this isn’t a HYS whinge, just a statement of fact. The fact being stated is that Bob Crow is a cunt, and the quicker he’s dead from his must-be-pending heart attack, the better.