Comments on: Embarrassing Items

By: Isabella

Isabella — Sun, 13 Dec 2009 20:09:42 +0000

@Throbbe*
Whilst rolling pins can certainly be used creatively, do be careful when using lard as lubrication as it can lead to very painful rashes.

I find a few drops of cod liver oil can be quite effective (and not in the least bit embarrassing to buy).

*snigger

By: Pirate Pete

Pirate Pete — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 12:43:24 +0000

Can I make a confession? I like using self-service checkouts, but then my local supermarket is a Morrissons…

I’ll get my coat – the one with the whole german salami, family-sized tub of vaseline and incontinence pants in the pocket

By: Throbbe

Throbbe — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 12:42:21 +0000

Lonesome Cowgirl

Self-service tills are quite useful when it comes to buying Tesco’s own brand dildos & lube.

I think you might find that was a Tescos Value rolling pin and a pack of Tescos Value lard, but knock yourself out.

By: anonymous

anonymous — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 11:24:56 +0000

Surely the whole point of buying KY jelly and cucumbers is to embarrass the pretty young checkout girl? Unless you have a sexual fetish that involves blushing robots, of course.

By: john Adair's Gerbil

john Adair's Gerbil — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 09:24:05 +0000

It’s the Tesco delivery people I feel sorry for. They knock on Rocket Scientist’s door and he’s still not got dressed or washed for days, this apparition with 2 foot long fingernails and tissue boxes on his feet to keep the germs away.

If I’m Howard Hughes.

By: Lonesome Cowgirl

Lonesome Cowgirl — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 08:17:30 +0000

Self-service tills are quite useful when it comes to buying Tesco’s own brand dildos & lube.

By: That fit woman on the till at the Asda Hypermarket in Birmingham

That fit woman on the till at the Asda Hypermarket in Birmingham — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 02:45:56 +0000

“I can buy those embarrassing items without anyone knowing”…”and can avoid all form of contact or ‘conversation’ with the checkout assistants.”
mike wright, birmingham

Lordy, I might be responsible for this. There was this pimply bloke who had a three-pack of budget knickers and some “Light Smoke” hold-up stockings in his basket the other day. I said, jokingly, “They’ll look good on you!” and he went red and ran out.

A pity, really, because I’m quite into that sort of thing.

By: Octopoid

Octopoid — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 02:05:30 +0000

“Contact with his fellow human beings`? Fuck that. They might be unemployed.”

Contact with my fellow human beings? Fuck that. They might be Mike.

By: fucko the clown

fucko the clown — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 01:42:54 +0000

be honest, who hasn’t felt better buying your root vegetables and ky from a self service till than the till jockey!

(no? just me?)

By: Jesus Chris

Jesus Chris — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 23:41:40 +0000

I have to ask – what embarrassing things could you possibly buy at the supermarket, so much so that you’d deliberately use the self-service checkouts to get them?

I assume this means that Mike does the “big shop” and then comes back later to do the embarrassing bits of it.

Condoms, tampons, dry skin cream, Top Gear Magazine, all these are reasonable things to buy under the right circumstances even though you might want them hidden from other people. And it’s not likely that the checkout person would really give a shit if you’re buying tampons and you’re a man. Can you even buy Anusol or Preparation H in the supermarket?

What the fuck is Mike buying?