This new South Wales place is nothing like the original South Wales …

I know – I live in New Mexico, which is a lot like the old Mexico except with Republicans.

He’s doing a fairly convincing impression of someone who gives a fuck.

And tell me, where are you seeing him doing this impression? Is it, perhaps, on the television in a bunch of programmes, like the news, where he normally wouldn’t be appearing? Now far be it from me to suggest that Simon Cowell is smart enough to spot an opportunity for a swathe of free publicity…

Simon Cowell does not give a fuck whether RATM or Joe McElderry is number one on Christmas Day

He’s doing a fairly convincing impression of someone who gives a fuck. And when I see him on the box swivel-eyed with rage that someone appears to be interfering with his plans for world domination via the medium of lowest-common-denominator prolefeed, I get this lovely warm feeling…

1) Any arguments on the internet about climate change
2) My cat pissing on the neighbour’s plants
3) Who gets to be Christmas number one in the UK
4) The burning sensation when I pee
5) Neil Craig
6) Work

But given that X Factor songs have been Christmas number 1 for the last gazillion years, it will bring a small smile to my face to know that a song with the word “fuck” in it is number 1 instead because of an internet campaign.

It’s like when Lordi won Eurovision – who really gives a fuck about EV? But it was fun and it was funny. You don’t have to buy it but it would be funny.

Go to Amazon, it’s 29p. Or don’t. YOU MUST CHOOSE ONE OF THESE OPTIONS! ;o)

You’ve expertly summed up the assorted arguments I’ve had with friends about this in recent days.

Imagine if all that money and coordinated effort were spent on a cause that actually matters.

Honestly, this is a very slick guerilla marketing setup by Sony from start to finish. And some at agency somewhere a bunch of soulless wankers in expensive jeans are chozzling themselves over how easily they’ve managed to manipulate people who think they’re too smart to be manipulated.

I’ll take “pissing off Simon Cowell” any day of the week.

Then don’t buy either. Simon Cowell does not give a fuck whether RATM or Joe McElderry is number one on Christmas Day. All he cares about is that both songs, combined, sell as many copies as possible for his employer, Sony Music Entertainment. Oh, and maintaining a fake tension about who will win which gives him a handy opportunity to go on the news and promote both songs.

PS Alex, are you in the FB group to make RATM no. 1?