I dared to hope that a series of pictures of a man being stoned for adultery in Somalia wouldn’t provoke much hilarity in a sane world. And it doesn’t. Not even in the insane world of the Daily Mail, where light relief is attempted in the form of the same Tiger Woods joke repeated 872 times.
Filter out those and all the BNP propaganda, and you’re pretty much left with the following…
(No thanks to Graham.)
Funny how it’s considered repulsive to stone a man to death for adultery yet acceptable in “more civilized” societies for people to cheat on their spouses.
Hmm… If only this was standard punishment for all adulterers.
Posole, Los Angeles, California
Yeah, that is strange, now you mention it. Yet again, it’s one rule for adulterers, another for murderous thugs burying people up to their necks in the ground and throwing stones at them.
When my ex-husband had an affair, I would have loved to throw stones at his head. Stupid human right laws.
Liz, Washington
Remember the days – simpler, happier days – when we could brutally kill our cheating partners without any sandal-wearing, mung bean-eating, busybody New Liebour thought-police bastards whining at us about our partners’ right not to be slowly bludgeoned to death with rocks? But what about us? What about our right not to be cheated on? Are you listening, Gordon Brown?
At least he didn’t get ‘community service’ like the scumbags here get.
The state of our world continues to sicken me.
Katy, Buckingham
Katy neatly sums up all of our frustrations re: the previous scenario. Not only is it forbidden to take the punishment of philandering partners into our own hands; to make matters worse, the law in the UK is too feeble to impose upon them any sentence harsher than a few hours covering up graffiti on a flyover.
We’re all fucked.
This sort of action could stop the spread of aids??
CJ, Ireland
Hello, is that Médecins Sans Frontières? Sack the condoms off, we’ve got a better idea… One the Pope might even like!
I know, it’s vile and cruel for someone to have to go through something like that. On the other hand, however, why wasn’t the woman involved stoned to death? I can understand why, to an extent, but I personally think both parties involved should have the SAME sentence, as adultery is a very wrong thing to do. Not punishable by a very…ah… painful death, but most certainly something painful. It’s also quite humiliating for the poor man who was stoned to death to have photos taken of him while it happened. In my opinion, those photos shouldn’t have been taken.
Charlotte Delooze, Ashton, Manchester.
It’s bad enough to see a man suffer a slow, agonishing death for the crime of having sexual intercourse out of wedlock. But not seeing a woman get the same treatment is just taking the piss.
A bit harsh for adultery (Cheetah Woods must be glad he is not African).
Good idea for murder, rape and paedophilia (No apologies to the PC Liberal Brigade)Lighten up a bit, think of the Stoning Scene in “Life of Brian”
Any women here, are you sure?
Arkley Barnet, Still here
Yeah, cheer up, for fuck’s sake, will you? He’s only black. And anyway, this humanity angle is clouding the real issue. Let’s boil this whole sorry thing down to one single objective truth. A truth I’m sure we can all agree on…
Excellant photography,pictures are so clear.
kc, scotland
57 Responses to “Fighting Aids With Rocks”
Second!!
I never thought of murder and GBH as “human right laws” but now I’m realising just how long the PC brigade has been active with their namby pamby activism.
OK – you are stoned to death if you are caught shagging behind your wife’s back.
What do you get for having a wank about a particularly good blow-job an ex-girlfriend gave you?
Ba-zing! Take that, all you people who want Sharia law! All you… people commenting on the Daily Mail article… who apparently don’t want Sharia, but…
…buffet Muslims. Jesus. Stay away from the pork.
“Another good reason to close our borders. We do not want the culprits coming to England and practising their barbaric so called religion here.”
- Peter, Surrey, 14/12/2009 12:56
Of course, the same article quotes several horrified Muslim bystanders, but fuck that GOOD VERSUS EVIL NEW CRUSADES KILL THE DARKIES FUCK YEAH!
“we have Somali drug dealers where I live. They set their own rules and live by them not our laws. What is done with drug dealers in Somalia? They’re put to death that’s what. No wonder they want to live here!”
- alison, southend, essex, 15/12/2009 7:17
This is my favorite, though, because unlike the standard “We can’t let those black folk in or we’ll all be given 100 lashes” argument, Alison apparently thinks the UK needs to start dealing with criminals like the Somalis do.
“He who is without sin, cast the first stone.” — Jesus Christ
- Lloyd, Indiana, USA, 14/12/2009 10:32
Then of course there’s good ol Lloyd, who managed, by simply removing one word and adding a comma, to completely fuck up the meaning of the second most famous quote of all Christianity. Bravo, Lloyd.
Your eyes poked out with pointed sticks and hot bitumen poured in the sockets.
Incidentally, tonight is the longest night of the year. Towards dawn, if it’s clear, you can watch Sirius (the brightest star in the East), line up with the stars in Orion’s Belt (the three Kings), which together trace a line that points to the exact spot on the horizon where the sun will rise. This will continue until the morning of the 25th when the Sun will rise 1 degree further to the South.
Of course, your christian mates will tell you that this is because god arranged it that way so that you’d know it was jesus’ fucking birthday.
Indeed, as indigenous drug dealers obey all our laws, of course.
No, tonight is the shortest night of the year. Let’s not have your liberal PC pussified Euro-centric bullshit, now.
NO TO THE EU. NO TO THE EU. VOTE BNP. VOTE BNP.
Only if you’re stupid enough to tell your current girlfriend about it…
Was it todays mail, us tolerant Brits have allowed a hundred and seventy thousand Somalians here to settle and have a new life, Brilliant. it’s enough to make you weep
- dennis shambley, wigan England, 14/12/2009 11:19
you know, there were a lot of potential ways to end that comment. a few suggestions:
1. I’m glad these innocent people were able to find escape from the poverty and violence of their home country.
2. I thank God that this horrible scene would almost certainly never occur in my country.
3. It makes me proud to be an Englishman to know that we’re giving these refugees a new chance at life.
Dennis, however, chose to go with the much more succinct “Brilliant, it’s enough to make you weep.”
Hang on a minute, I thought that was the actual meaning of the quote, as testament to how much of a set of cunts those Christians are, as Lloyd so righteously demonstrates.
Come on, this is like QI for me now. What’s the intended meaning then?
Or shout “GOD YES CHERYL YEEEEEEES” when her name is Ann.
Though you might get away with saying you’d watched the X Factor and she is perfectly okay to crack one off thinking about Louis Walsh.
The last time I did adultery, I got stoned first.
If only the ground taster had done us all a favour and pixellated the whole website.
I suppose it serves me right for leaving my diary out.
A good flogging?
On the assumption that you’re not joking mate, the original intention (when properly punctuated by someone who’s not a putrid pygmy puff’s punani) is that noone is entirely without sin, so don’t go throwing no stones: “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone”.
Unless of course Jesus had a particularly saintly mate on hand and was asking her or him to take a shot.
“1. I’m glad these innocent people were able to find escape from the poverty and violence of their home country.
2. I thank God that this horrible scene would almost certainly never occur in my country.
3. It makes me proud to be an Englishman to know that we’re giving these refugees a new chance at life.”
Tedious, pompous cunt anyone?
Translated:
At any rate, I’d guess that he’s at least some first-hand experience of the topic at hand.
I wonder how Charlotte means that ‘ah’ to sound. Like a tortured scream perhaps? Or more like an ‘ummm, let me think about this’ kind of an ‘ah’?
Yes please. And not too much ice this time. The last one tasted like piss.
It’s the shortest night here in the civilised part of the Antipodes as well
(New Zealand is to Australia as Wales is to England. Except that we have the advantage of a few thousand miles of shark-infested water between us and them.)
(New Zealand is to Australia as Wales is to England. Except that we have the advantage of a few thousand miles of shark-infested water between us and them.)
I don’t think that’s very fair on Wales. New Zealand is well know for its sheep-shaggers and nationalists who have no real idea what their national identity should be.
Arseing blockquote buggery.
Don’t fret, once the Tories get in dealing with your wife or husband’s lover will be easy. Just follow these three steps,
1. Invite them round to your house.
2. Persuade them to dress in a striped jumper and carry a bag marked ‘Swag’.
3. Stone them to death.
OK, Step 2 might be a little tricky but where there’s a will, eh?
Mal you sweet innocent you!
Step 1 Invite them round to your house.
Step 2 Stone them to death
Step 3 QUICKLY dress them in said stripy attire (got to watch for that pesky lividity*)
Simples**
* Yes, I watch WAY too much CSI
** Apologies for using the most annoying fucking HYS word ever.
Why didn’t you just sew prawns into his curtain hems like everyone else? Tsk! No effort or imagination is put into cheated spouse rewengee anymore.
Off-topic, but the XFactor/RATM thread is fairly rewarding.
… The rage song in my opinion is awful.
A more interesting campaign would have been to get something like stop the cavalry or Ring out Solstice bells to Number 1. And to encourage Simon Cowell to choose and commission a christmassy song for the x factor winner.”
Ian Whalen, Eastleigh
Both great anti-establishment choices, Ian. Let it never be said that you completely missed the point.
Good point, but from reading your comment it seems you’re of the opinion that it is famous because of all that morality and stuff, not because it forms the context for one of the best ever Simpsons quotes.
‘Did I get him daddy?’
I’d be more humiliated about the fact that it seems the Daily Mail readers have been wanking over the photos non-stop.
Yeah, cos RATM are such sticking-it-to-the-Man anti-corporate types aren’t they, what with being signed to minnow-like indie label Sony BMG?
What I don’t get is who are all these people who give a fuck?
I wish that I had a snazzy surname like ‘DELOOZE’
“Yeah, cos RATM are such sticking-it-to-the-Man anti-corporate types aren’t they, what with being signed to minnow-like indie label Sony BMG?
What I don’t get is who are all these people who give a fuck?”
====> The point of the RATM campaign
====> Your head
Whooosh!
Iam a muslim and these barbaric men and woman need to be bombed back to the stone ages.
It is deeply shameful to see such a terrible act being commited by people who share my faith.
There needs to be a Army set up by moderate Arab nations (similar to NATO) who travel to muslim countries and kick these extremeists out.
May god have mercy on the poor mans soul.
- alian, Croydon, 14/12/2009 10:56
Alian has a wonderful idea on how to stop this violence. Iraq, Saudi Arabia, Jordan, Syria, and all the other moderate Arab nations forget about all the Sunni-Shia shit and pool all their soldiers together (which goes smoothly). Then their governments ship all of them to Africa, where they chase off the extremists to another country.
Meanwhile, at home in the Middle East, the citizens go about their daily lives under governments with no militaries, and all the militant sectarian groups take a time out.
@Rotwatcher
Here’s one: http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2009/dec/21/charlie-brooker-rage-against-the-machine
What are you, a 14 year-old girl? Since when do the singles charts matter to grown-ups?
Yeah, I got the “point” of the RATM campaign, in all its lame, embarrassing glory. I protested against Simon Cunting Cowell by not buying the X Factor single. I didn’t feel the need to show my credentials by buying a crap record from a bunch of grunge-by-numbers merchants who were briefly famous twelve years ago. Maybe next year the X Factor haters should get behind an unsigned artist – that might at least have the effect of limiting the amount of cash going into Sony Fucking BMG’s coffers.
(If this appears twice it’s because sYb’s comments section seems to channelling CiF in its cruftiness)
Maybe it was his mum. She was conceived immaculately, and thus was, uniquely, untarnished by original sin. Invite her to the stoning and Bob’s your Uncle (or in Jesus’s case, Zechariah.)
@millie
Charlie Brooker – is that supposed to be like a trump card? If CB thinks something it’s impossible for a bien pensant sYb’er to take a contrary view? CB’s pretty inconsistent these days, and a lot less infallible an oracle than Marina Hyde.
@Rotwatcher
Not a trump card, just not quite as stupid as your average HYSer. I’m with you on this one, an unsigned artist would have been preferable to another Sony Fucking BMG signing.
I also share your admiration for Ms Hyde.
SYBer, not HYS. Been a long day.
And not stupid but bien pensant. I’ll shut up now.
Is this unique in the annals of “string ‘em up” comments? In so far as it’s an excoriation of light sentences that overstates the penalty currently meted out for an action.
Anyone who bought RAtM, and who is so fucking stupid that they willingly, moronically, like some kind of fucking nodding dog in the back window of a Volvo, actually went and bought a copy of Killing In The Name in order to sock it to the powers that be needs to fucking leave, now, and come back when you’re over 18 and your mum lets you listen to naughty words.
Okay?
By the way, these guys should have won.
Also, kī tōnu taku waka topaki i te tuna.
“Wales! Wales! fav’rite land of Wales!
While sea her wall, may naught befall
To mar the old language of Wales.”
Yes?
No, that would be “Mae fy hofrenfad yn llawn llyswennod”.
You can’t fool me; that’s just someone clearing their throat.
Pero no debemos olvidar que “Mi aerodeslizador está lleno de anguilas.” ¿Verdad?
Ahhh, RATM v X-Factor, the gift that keeps on giving.
@ Jesus Chris
Is that why it sank suddenly in the Tasman Sea?
I’m not sure who is more of festering fish flange, the idiots who bought the X factor track, the morons who bought the RATM track or the smug pricks who keep pointing out that buying any song is pretty much pointless (especially when it’s piss easy to steal music nowdays). I’m sure someone will soon point out, that it’s actually me…
BTW I get stonned all the time and I’m fine, I think.
I’ve thought it over, and I’m definately in the ‘smug pricks’ category. The worst one of the three is, of course, the people who bought the RATM song to protest. They reminded me of the kind of pub bores who grandly debunk the idea of manmade global warming because we’ve seen some snow this month.
What I don’t understand is how people think that having a Christmas number 1 makes you some kind of millionaire:
But, if Cowell’s song sold less, and, £30,000, and… errr…
Did someone just fart?
Fucking thing ate my fucking post.
Right, fuck you then. I’m not smug anymore. Right then. Fuck off.