Permanently Bewildered24 Dec 2009 04:29 pm

But We Tried To Fight It

By Kelvin

Just a quick one before Christmas – goodwill to all men and so on, I’m off to drink myself into a coma. Thanks to Colin for the spot. Would you watch an election debate between the main UK party leaders?

immigration,mps expences lack of prosecutions,welfare benefits for imigrants who put nothing in the system. afghanistan,why aid for other countries before british pensioners.no univercity places for british kids but student visas going abroad.high cost of living and taxes.no referendem on europe.

mick woollard

We didn’t start the fire…

33 Responses to “But We Tried To Fight It”

  1. on 24 Dec 2009 at 4:47 pm   Ceannair

    That one is like playing spot the correct spelling!!!

    As it’s Christmas, here;s the thoughts of our old pal Catherine Oliver:

    Added: Thursday, 24 December, 2009, 13:07 GMT 13:07 UK

    i like all the christmas songs. my all time favourite christmas songs has to be last christmas by wham , a fairytale in new york , do they know it christmas by band aid . i wish it could be christmas everyday by wizzard , also all i want for christmas is you by maraih carey

    Catherine Oliver, Crawley, United Kingdom

    Peace on earth to all!

  2. on 24 Dec 2009 at 4:48 pm   Fish

    Can you answer a question just by going into your own paranoid version of “My Favourite Things” now?

    Bonus points to anyone who has the most pervy thing “tied up with string“, natch.

  3. on 24 Dec 2009 at 4:57 pm   Steveland Cleamer

    [blockquote] afghanistan,why aid for other countries before british pensioners. [/blockquote]

    interesting that he’s gput these two into the same sentence. Currently, our ‘aid’ for afghanistan is bombing them with unmanned drones.

    does anyone know the GPS coordinates of Brighton retirement home?

  4. on 24 Dec 2009 at 4:59 pm   Steveland Cleamer

    blockquote AND spelling fail, goddammit. twattery. should be ‘put’. and a proper blockquote.

  5. on 24 Dec 2009 at 5:49 pm   random punter

    @fish

    Not terribly pervy, but quite seasonal in a sort of winter-of-discontent kind of way.

    Dewdrops on noses and tassels on nipples
    Bent coppers visiting pubs for their tipples
    Brown paper packages tied up with string
    Full of used tenners to buy my way in…

    Pitbulls and rotties which pull at their choke chains
    Ringing of doorbells – the BNP calling
    Knife-criming hoodies hang out by the swings
    Robbing our kids of their favourite things

    Girls in white tracksuits and Boots false eyelashes
    Coke up their noses and cum-dripping gashes
    Burberry chavs with their Argos-bought bling
    Looking well ‘ard with their dog on a string

    While the paedos
    Groom on Bebo
    And the gayz look sad
    The illegal immigruntz steal all the jobs
    And then I don’t feel so bad

  6. on 24 Dec 2009 at 5:50 pm   Louisa

    I kind of imagine this is what happens when Daily Mail faithfuls go insane…they just sit there mumbling their favourite phrases whilst rocking back and forth in the corner.

    gays recruiting children, peedos running for president. health and safety, pc brigade can’t even smoke near a pile of dry straw. positive discrimination, no jobs for the british, all unemployed. knife crime up 2000%.

    Plus you just gave me the best laugh of the day for making that God awful Billy Joel track amusing.

  7. on 24 Dec 2009 at 6:01 pm   Anfield Plane

    Much like Torvill and Dean in Sarajevo, this article hits perfection – not one single rational comment out of 596:

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/comment/columnists/janetdaley/6845967/Therell-be-nowhere-to-run-from-the-new-world-government.html

    Thought this one has some lovely imagery:

    Gordon Brown to democracy is like the gay burgler dears, breaks in and completely redecorates. Whether you like the results or not is completely immaterial. ,

  8. on 24 Dec 2009 at 6:50 pm   Callum

    From the christmas topic:

    “Christmas in the UK is an indulgent event to be endured rather than enjoyed. Let’s get it over and done with, ASAP, and GET BACK TO WORK!

    Avery Dennison, The Old Run, Hunslet Carr”

    Hohoho, merry christmas everybody (except immigrants and hippies). I bet he’s a barrel of laughs at christmas dinner.

  9. on 24 Dec 2009 at 7:00 pm   Mal

    From the comments to that Telegraph piece.

    people laughed at the conspiracy theorists and called them Nuts! The way forward is the way of the Freeman…

    Well he was good as Tim in The Office but is he really leadership material?

  10. on 24 Dec 2009 at 8:55 pm   Kelvin

    @Callum:

    Christmas in the UK is an indulgent event to be endured rather than enjoyed. Let’s get it over and done with, ASAP, and GET BACK TO WORK!

    Avery Dennison, The Old Run, Hunslet Carr

    This calls for a touch of scouse wisdom.

  11. on 24 Dec 2009 at 11:59 pm   Summariser

    Let’s face it. What Mick Woollard is actually saying is :

    I hate foreigners.

  12. on 25 Dec 2009 at 12:00 am   Summariser

    If you like Christmas so much, why don’t you go live there?

  13. on 25 Dec 2009 at 12:55 am   Pirate Pete

    Well a happy Christmas to you all from me and the crew of the Cormorant’s Clunge. We’ve even left some of our grog and a mincing pie out for Santa :)

  14. on 25 Dec 2009 at 4:30 am   millie

    Have just drunk myself into a coma. Unfortunately, I can still type.

  15. on 25 Dec 2009 at 6:00 am   SlantedScience

    Dear Fish,

    My cock, balls, scrotal pubes and a 9V battery are currently “tied up with string”.

    Do I win the prize? Can I stop now? It’s beginning to burn a little bit.

  16. on 25 Dec 2009 at 8:42 am   Theodore

    So how many of you guys out there also google Catherine Oliver every few days to get to her HYS profile to see if she has posted any new gems?

    I´m thoroughly guilty.

  17. on 25 Dec 2009 at 1:30 pm   Bit Special AKA Festive La Spesh

    Merry Fucking Christmas, you bag of bastards. How long now till Dr Who?

  18. on 25 Dec 2009 at 4:14 pm   Schroduck

    Avery Dennison is tied up with string. In his cupboard. By the neck. Wanking.

    Anyway, since I’m too cheap to actually buy presents, here’s something I dug out of next door’s bin and wrapped in old newspaper.

    i wonder how easy it is to control masses…..how easy it is to institutionalize a fake….how uninteligents,arids,unfertiles,
    irresponsibles,low blasfemers are the idealisers of all this…..and what Prophet Jesus(Peace of God be upon him)the Son of Mary Virgin Imaculate(Peace of God be upon her)thinks about what they say about Him..

    Mustafá Adura Orra, Sao Paulo-Brasil

  19. on 25 Dec 2009 at 4:34 pm   john Adair's Gerbil

    1. When’s my mad mother-in-law fucking off?

    2. Roll on Doctor Who.

    Cheers, ya bunch of misanthropes.

  20. on 26 Dec 2009 at 1:43 am   fucko the clown

    surely avery is a birds name. :)

  21. on 26 Dec 2009 at 1:48 am   fucko the clown

    @slantedscience some of us pay a lot of money for such an experience. P.s. If she uses cotton based string it doesn’t burn. Just don’t use cheap garden string from pikey lidl.

  22. on 26 Dec 2009 at 1:54 am   slcnm

    We didn’t start the fire…

    Guffaw. Tea in mouth no more. Thanks Kelvin.

  23. on 26 Dec 2009 at 2:12 am   jpr

    The comments on that Telegraph article are just … insane. I don’t know whether to be depressed or amused.

  24. on 26 Dec 2009 at 11:55 am   random punter

    @jpr

    Well, to be fair, those comments are no worse than any other right-wing US blog inhabited by spittle-flecked mouth-breathing conspiracy-theorising inbred retards who are building up arsenals in their fortified homes and believe that the likes of Glenn Beck is the new messiah, albeit of the church of JCLDS variety. The vein of material out there is too rich to mine on a respectable site such as this one, but I’m pleased that Chris Perez donated some of his valuable time to the Telegraph thread, to share with us this:

    Chris Perez
    on December 21, 2009
    at 08:40 PM

    I would hope you recognize that not all Texans are like the few who leave the comments you read on this and other news sites. There may be a higher number of us who believe in “God” (myself excluded), but I think you’ll find that those of us who still “cling to our guns” may one day become your saving grace.

    As totalitarianism goes “global” we’ll be among the only people on this planet who, if possible, will be likely to come to your aid. This is partly due to our shared history and partly due to our being among the few peoples on this planet not dumb enough to willfully turn in our only means of staving off complete and utter tyranny. Tyranny may not yet be rapping at your door, but while you wait (because it is no longer “if,” but “when”) you can practice “pithy, concise and elegant” uses of “irony, sarcasm and wit” in front of the CCTV “nanny” cameras that are conveniently mounted in your home. Don’t worry if they’re not installed yet… they will be.

    This has all the trappings of your average HYS dribbler, but with the added attraction of the absolute certainty that, unlike with the HYSers, despair at being drowned in a flood of immigruntz and job-stealers is not present, as these guys know that their day will come, and they will triumph, just like they did when they eradicated the indigenous population of their God-given land.

    I particularly like that Chris seeks to present himself as a sort of “voice of reason”, slightly embarassed by the railings of his fellowamerricunz, before losing control a little and micturating slightly as the excitement of the occasion overcomes him.

    And don’t believe that “I don’t believe in God” crap from Chris Perez – he’s a self confessed Tex-Mex, so he’s a Catholic obviously. And a cunt.

  25. on 26 Dec 2009 at 12:33 pm   Kelvin

    I love the notion that he and his fellow militia buddies will be leaping to our defence in this newly globalised totalitarian regime. Presumably any totalitarian regime isn’t going to let them fly out of the US or into Britain carrying their guns, so what he actually means is “if you guys find yourselves ruled by an Orwellian overseer, we’ll post angrily on the internet about how we told you so, while we lovingly touch our guns.”

  26. on 26 Dec 2009 at 1:05 pm   YeGods

    If you guys like Dr Who so much, why don’t you go live there?

  27. on 26 Dec 2009 at 1:10 pm   Kelvin

    Because “there” has very little meaning when applied to a dimensionally transcendent time-and-space vehicle which pisses all over the concept of place. Obviously.

  28. on 26 Dec 2009 at 8:36 pm   Alex

    Also we don’t have to, since as PC members of the loony left, we already don’t live in the real world.

  29. on 27 Dec 2009 at 12:53 am   jpr

    I love the notion that he and his fellow militia buddies will be leaping to our defence in this newly globalised totalitarian regime.

    I love the idea that deep down it’s obvious they want to save everyone from a worldwide totalitarian regime by imposing their own. We’ll all think like them, or else. It’s for our own good.

    I just assume that most of them own guns because they have small willies. I’d have posted that on the thread itself, but I’m assuming that the comments there are moderated to remove any incisive witty humour like that.

  30. on 27 Dec 2009 at 1:50 pm   Bit Special AKA Festive La Spesh

    I’m so bored I’m going to watch Cranford tonight.

  31. on 27 Dec 2009 at 10:05 pm   random punter

    Bit Special AKA Festive La Spesh

    I’m so bored I’m going to watch Cranford tonight.

    Mrs punter just stole the TV control from me – it’s just started. Someone dish the dirt on La Spesh – we’ve got an hour…..

  32. on 27 Dec 2009 at 10:46 pm   desertfish

    I just assume that most of them own guns because they have small willies.

    It’s also because guns are so easy to get hold of over here – they give them away inside the really big boxes of cornflakes. And WalMart even does kids’ guns – single-shot .22 rifle or .410 shotgun in basic black for boys or [I'm not making this up] pink for girls!

    I don’t own any kind of gun, tho’.

  33. on 27 Dec 2009 at 10:50 pm   jpr

    basic black for boys or [I'm not making this up] pink for girls!

    Oooh, I could have one of each. What an accessory :-)