basic black for boys or [I'm not making this up] pink for girls!

Oooh, I could have one of each. What an accessory

I just assume that most of them own guns because they have small willies.

It’s also because guns are so easy to get hold of over here – they give them away inside the really big boxes of cornflakes. And WalMart even does kids’ guns – single-shot .22 rifle or .410 shotgun in basic black for boys or [I'm not making this up] pink for girls!

I don’t own any kind of gun, tho’.

Bit Special AKA Festive La Spesh

I’m so bored I’m going to watch Cranford tonight.

Mrs punter just stole the TV control from me – it’s just started. Someone dish the dirt on La Spesh – we’ve got an hour…..

I love the notion that he and his fellow militia buddies will be leaping to our defence in this newly globalised totalitarian regime.

I love the idea that deep down it’s obvious they want to save everyone from a worldwide totalitarian regime by imposing their own. We’ll all think like them, or else. It’s for our own good.

I just assume that most of them own guns because they have small willies. I’d have posted that on the thread itself, but I’m assuming that the comments there are moderated to remove any incisive witty humour like that.

Well, to be fair, those comments are no worse than any other right-wing US blog inhabited by spittle-flecked mouth-breathing conspiracy-theorising inbred retards who are building up arsenals in their fortified homes and believe that the likes of Glenn Beck is the new messiah, albeit of the church of JCLDS variety. The vein of material out there is too rich to mine on a respectable site such as this one, but I’m pleased that Chris Perez donated some of his valuable time to the Telegraph thread, to share with us this:

Chris Perez
on December 21, 2009
at 08:40 PM

I would hope you recognize that not all Texans are like the few who leave the comments you read on this and other news sites. There may be a higher number of us who believe in “God” (myself excluded), but I think you’ll find that those of us who still “cling to our guns” may one day become your saving grace.

As totalitarianism goes “global” we’ll be among the only people on this planet who, if possible, will be likely to come to your aid. This is partly due to our shared history and partly due to our being among the few peoples on this planet not dumb enough to willfully turn in our only means of staving off complete and utter tyranny. Tyranny may not yet be rapping at your door, but while you wait (because it is no longer “if,” but “when”) you can practice “pithy, concise and elegant” uses of “irony, sarcasm and wit” in front of the CCTV “nanny” cameras that are conveniently mounted in your home. Don’t worry if they’re not installed yet… they will be.

This has all the trappings of your average HYS dribbler, but with the added attraction of the absolute certainty that, unlike with the HYSers, despair at being drowned in a flood of immigruntz and job-stealers is not present, as these guys know that their day will come, and they will triumph, just like they did when they eradicated the indigenous population of their God-given land.

I particularly like that Chris seeks to present himself as a sort of “voice of reason”, slightly embarassed by the railings of his fellowamerricunz, before losing control a little and micturating slightly as the excitement of the occasion overcomes him.

And don’t believe that “I don’t believe in God” crap from Chris Perez – he’s a self confessed Tex-Mex, so he’s a Catholic obviously. And a cunt.