Armchair Generals and Credulous Nincompoops and Grief Athletes and Plain Weird31 Dec 2009 10:26 am
By Alex

What are your memories of the tsunami?” was refreshingly free of inane self-obsessed grumbling, idiotic pet theories or attempts to hammer the Nick Griffin into every possible debate. Still, there’s always good old surreal weirdness.

Please note that there is a technology to create and/or enhance any kind of “natural” disaster…

Tibor TK, Neuss

It’s like a hand-blender, but nuclear. You just stick it in the sea or the Earth’s molten core and you’re away.

I watched that ugly incident live on the screen and it has left me with a strong belief that the world is about to come to an end. I don’t think anybody is safe with that kind catastrophy similar to that which prompted Noah to build an ARK.

wodgot, uk

It’s a scary thought, but you know what’s scarier? Just the other day, I was watching David Attenborough and I saw a fucking COBRA on the screen. What if God sends a massive cobra to destroy the world this time? Best you build a giant wooden mongoose as well, just to be sure.

It certainly cut down on the amount of piracy in the south China seas area for a while. Sad that so many innocents died along with the pirates.

Paul, Sapcote

Like they say, every cloud has a silver lining. Maybe you should give Tibor a ring and the two of you could get yourselves down to Somalia with his gadget. Sorted.

28 Responses to “Go Get the Gopher-Wood”

  1. on 31 Dec 2009 at 10:35 am Any Rand will do

    But we have all missed the most important aspect of the “Boxing Day Tsunami”:

    since five years ago the 26 December, St Stephens Day in Christian countries, fell on a Sunday by definition it could NOT be Boxing Day and that year Boxing Day was Monday, 27 December.

    Hugh McLoughlin, Bellshill

    Which makes it all OK, I guess.

  2. on 31 Dec 2009 at 11:08 am Ceannair

    Hugh is a limpid limpet’s languid labia.

  3. on 31 Dec 2009 at 11:10 am Ceannair

    Ah, a response to Hugh!!!

    Added: Saturday, 26 December, 2009, 11:28 GMT 11:28 UK

    Secondly, since five years ago the 26 December, St Stephens Day in Christian countries, fell on a Sunday by definition it could NOT be Boxing Day and that year Boxing Day was Monday, 27 December.

    Hugh McLoughlin, Bellshill

    …..Chill out dude.

    groundskeeperWilly, Edinburgh

  4. on 31 Dec 2009 at 11:52 am Jones

    Please note that there is a technology to create and/or enhance any kind of “natural” disaster…

    Tibor TK, Neuss

    Like cloning Tibor TK?

  5. on 31 Dec 2009 at 12:03 pm Theodore

    Nobody spotted the typo.

    Hugh McLoughlin, Bellshill

    It clearly should have been:

    Hugh McLoughlin, Bellend

  6. on 31 Dec 2009 at 12:06 pm That Bloke in the Corner

    since five years ago the 26 December, St Stephens Day in Christian countries, fell on a Sunday by definition it could NOT be Boxing Day and that year Boxing Day was Monday, 27 December.

    Hugh McLoughlin, Bellshill

    There is always fucking one isn’t there? Sadly Hugh, it is you.

  7. on 31 Dec 2009 at 12:11 pm Theodore

    And he has a blog:

    http://www.blogster.com/hughiemcloughlin/

    Fairly sure it’s him as he has mentioned dates and the church clendar in his inane posts.

  8. on 31 Dec 2009 at 12:11 pm Theodore

    calendar

  9. on 31 Dec 2009 at 1:15 pm Dave

    Tibor must have gotten Sim City for Christmas.

  10. on 31 Dec 2009 at 1:26 pm random punter

    Added: Sunday, 27 December, 2009, 16:23 GMT 16:23 UK
    My memory was having buckets with Tsunami Relief Fund, thrust in my face for money everywhere i went. So what has happened to the money?

    Bruce Grant, England, United Kingdom

    Recommended by 0 people

    You didn’t donate any, did you Bruce, so it’s none of your fucking business. (He’s never far from the hub, is he?)

    And perhaps we should point Tibor towards our old chum Kneel Craig – he knows a bit about technology and disasters – perhaps they could drill a large hole in the ocean floor with a plug in it, and when the tsunami hits, take out the plug, send all the water down to the earth’s core, and harness 9% of the resulting super-heated steam to provide energy for the construction of his Scottish tunnel. Result.

  11. on 31 Dec 2009 at 1:37 pm Kelvin

    Please note that there is a technology to create and/or enhance any kind of “natural” disaster…

    You may know it as the “Kadir-Buxton Technology.”

  12. on 31 Dec 2009 at 2:30 pm Mr Cat

    This thread has really bought out the lunatics. Even avoiding the right wing mentality of the average HYSer it brings home how unbelievably self centred they are – they literally can only relate to an event in terms of how it affected them.

    The main question is “Were you affected?” – I’d say that is asking for people who were actually directly affected by the event, not moved by images on TV – as harrowing as they were… but obviously it’s all about ME ME ME!

    I was told the earthquake shook our building slightly but I didn’t notice it & then BBC Radio news started coming in.

    Later I checked the map & realised why nothing serious had happened in Singapore. Earthquake’s epicentre was to the NW of Sumatra Island. If it’d been between Sumatra & Thailand/Malaysia it would’ve been a different story.

    Just saw a ‘History’ documentary where parents of deceased Ms. Kali, 15 & Isabelle, 5 told their story plus 100′s of orphaned Indian kids praying. Sad!!

    Max Mahajan, Singapore

    Crikey Max you’re right. And if the epicentre had been inside your head, around which the whole universe turns, then you would have really copped it. (I also picture him rubbing his eyes in an insincere boo hoo gesture when he add the condescending “sad” at the end).

    I found their willingness to broadcast such graphic scenes before the watershed especially during a family holiday a complete and telling contrast to what can only be described as state prescribed censorship when it came to the deaths in Iraq.

    User Fivesixzerofouronezero, Panopticon, UK

    GET THOSE DEAD PEOPLE OFF THE TELLY – THEY’RE PUTTING ME OFF MY TURKEY SANDWICH

    My memories of the tsunami was horrible.Fortunately,I didn’t live the situation directly because I was in Italy but I got the imagines,the reports and I can say that that was the worst catastrophic human being never knew.In my country,every kind of celebration was delete.Everybody wasn’t able to celebrate the new year with happiness and fire.Human being is vulnerable.God save the Queen

    Giorgio Giuliani, Jesi

    I know Giorgio means well and language is a problem… but “god save the queen”?

  13. on 31 Dec 2009 at 3:22 pm mr pun

    Giorgio Giuliani is the steampunk Singularity.

  14. on 31 Dec 2009 at 3:54 pm Any Rand will do

    Tsunami was a Terrible Tragedy which displayed Peoples Individual Generousity to those In-Need
    It also exposed Aid Agencies as Businesses with Political Agendas.

    During a discussion my cousin who regularly Volunteers enlightened: “Aid-Agencies-Always-Pay-Themselves-First.”

    Flinkus, Streatham

    Recommended by 5 people

    Flinkus, you sad little badger’s nadger, what is it with the Random Capitalisation of Words? Not to mention the “Hyphenated-Words-In-Quotation-Marks.” It’s not as if any further excuse is needed for treating your words as the suppurating pile of pure that they undoubtedly are.

  15. on 31 Dec 2009 at 4:14 pm Ed aka Ghost of Cuger-Jaggar, PhD

    @random punter

    And perhaps we should point Tibor towards our old chum Kneel Craig

    I think you’ll find his surname is “Zod”. Middle name “before”.

  16. on 31 Dec 2009 at 4:45 pm john Adair's Gerbil

    My brother-in-law and his family were there when it happened, though they ended up ok. But I don’t go on to HYS to ramble about it. No, my rambling destination of choice is SYB. Errr. No, it’s the South Gyle car park between 11pm and 2am. Nope, that’s not right either.

    I’ll get my “dog.” Soon be time for “walkies.”

  17. on 31 Dec 2009 at 4:51 pm Pirate Pete

    It’s Giorgio’s ‘happiness and fire’ comment that worries me. Is he going to be sneaking round, torching townhouses while his neighbours are out celebrating tonight?

  18. on 31 Dec 2009 at 5:01 pm That Bloke in the corner

    My memories of the tsunami was horrible.Fortunately,I didn’t live the situation directly because I was in Italy

    Giorgio Giuliani, Jesi

    I bet you remember it well Giorgio, sat in you nice villa on the Tuscan hillside. You had forgotten until the BBC reminded you to get your Grief Athlete trainers on,the next subject is Diana-remember how she touched your life in so many ways?

  19. on 31 Dec 2009 at 8:00 pm Schroduck

    Memories of the Tsunami?

    100 times the human disaster of 9/11 with a thousandth of the media coverage.

    R.I.P Vladan, Nina, Alexander.

    Colin Campbell, Stockholm, Sweden

    There is a difference,the Tsunami was a tragic act of nature,wheras 9/11 was a calculated act of murder.

    David Paget, Leeds, United Kingdom

    Yeah. Plus everyone who died in the tsunami had, like, funny coloured skin and shit.

  20. on 01 Jan 2010 at 12:17 am funny perculiar

    GMT+1

    2010… first!

    Jesus, it’s like the fucking Somme out there!

    Boom, Boom, Boom, Boom.
    Boom, Boom, Boom.

    Where is the start line on a circle?

    Happy hypothetical New Year.

  21. on 01 Jan 2010 at 1:07 am john Adair's Gerbil

    We’ll have proper English (not British) time here, thank you very much…

  22. on 01 Jan 2010 at 1:23 am Ceannair

    Happy New Year all, from Irish time here!!!!

  23. on 01 Jan 2010 at 1:32 am Mal

    Wonders who’s going to be the first sad pedantic git to point out that the decade doesn’t actually finish until the end of 2010.

    Oh fuck, it’s me isn’t it?

  24. on 01 Jan 2010 at 1:39 am Mal

    No doubt 2010 will be filled with the same snookerloopy fucktarded twatbasketry from HYS and the like as 2009 was.

    So bearing that in mind, Happy New Year and god help us!

  25. on 01 Jan 2010 at 2:18 am Schroduck

    Happy new year/decade/almost decade/whatever, all.

    @Mal:

    What does the new year hold for British politics?

    He pledged to create “fairly shared” prosperity – and contrasted that with those “who say we must plan for a decade of austerity and unfairness where the majority lose out while the privileged few protect themselves”. BBC.

    My doubt is cleard now.
    Karl Marx won finally.

    Dash Capital.

    Carl Gordon Marx, Brownlands

    Gordy declares a national emergency when the true debt figures are leaked … refuses to hold an election, declares himself to be god-emperor for all eternity, makes his cat chancellor of the exchequer, a pigeon secretary of state for defence and harriett harman minister for equality for everyone except white men with jobs ……. and then the blokes in the white coats finally take him away.

    RH, Oop North

    Income Tax abolished in-accordance with Pitt [the Younger] ‘intention’; Napolionic-Wars long-since over

    ‘Non doffing-forelock & walking-backwards’ tax 100% plus shirt-off-back…

    Plebian pension-shortfall solved with Plebian pension-tax; they STILL get ‘dole’, reinstate pensions [formally] decades post life-expectancy

    Consultancy-application

    Stephen Dawson, Manchester, United Kingdom

    Looks that way.

  26. on 01 Jan 2010 at 4:21 am Capt. Blackadder

    @ funny perculiar

    “Jesus, it’s like the fucking Somme out there!

    Boom, Boom, Boom, Boom.
    Boom, Boom, Boom.”

    Don’t tell me… “Boom”?

  27. on 01 Jan 2010 at 4:53 am Ceannair George

    on 01 Jan 2010 at 4:21 am Capt. Blackadder

    @ funny perculiar

    “Jesus, it’s like the fucking Somme out there!

    Boom, Boom, Boom, Boom.
    Boom, Boom, Boom.”

    Don’t tell me… “Boom”?

    How did you guess ???

  28. on 04 Jan 2010 at 10:29 am anon

    Happy New Year too, since this seems to be the default NY thread. As for ringing the changes, one of the first topics on a “professional” site I use was about job interview techniques for IT contractors. The fifth response ended with this highly relevant advice useful for all job seekers:

    Fox hunting too is being raised again by Labour to stir things up.

    IT’S NONE OF THEIR BLOODY BUSINESS HOW COUNTRY FOLK DECIDE TO PUT DOWN VERMIN.

    THAT SHOULD BE AN ISSUE FOR FARMERS AND LAND OWNERS ALONE. NO ONE ELSE.

    I’m anticipating a telephone interview this week. Perhaps I should try shouting that down the phone when I’m asked about my experience with C++.