I’m sorry, but I have to be the bearer of some ill tidings. They concern Doctor Who. If there are any kids in the room you might want to get them to hide behind the sofa.
For heaven’s sake…IT IS NOT REAL!!!!
Mark H, Luton, United Kingdom
That’s right, I’m afraid that Mark H has finally identified the main problem with Doctor Who: It’s not a documentary. Now I know that may come as a surprise but calm down, keep breathing and remind yourself: sometimes fiction is stranger than truth. Am I alone in suspecting that Mark H would be happier with Doctor Who if it was based on a true story, like The Da Vinci Code?
Other assorted whingers and moaners:
I do not believe this there are so many things happening around the world and the only topic of discussion the BBC can come up with is Dr Who , this beggars belief .
John Gittos, Leeds
Recommended by 70 people
So that’s 71 people who found this thread so pointless, so worthless, such a waste of their time that all they could think to do was comment in it or trawl it looking for a suitably miserable comment to recommend. Think how much improved the national mindset could be if they’d just used that time to have a wank instead.
Total Boredom – but then I haven’t watched it since Norman Hartnell was the Doctor, and the dinosaurs roamed free on the South Downs
[deanarabin], London, United Kingdom
Well why bother watching it when you can just wait for the Daily Mail to tell you whether there was something in it you can complain to OFCOM about?
The problem I have with these people is that they’re still managing to talk about Doctor Who even though they don’t like or watch it. Can’t we find someone in this thread who can be properly wide of the point? Preferably someone with sub-remedial spelling and grammar? Ah, thankyou Mare -
i think that we shood be worshipping a real life hero like Nick Griffin instade of a fictunal caractar like dr who.
he dont need yo regenerate vause hes perrfect already. go forward in time and youll see Nick will have reel power not make beleeve stuff.
True Britman
There you go. All Doctor Who needs is a wonky eye, a melted face and an affinity with the Daleks rather than Humanity, and True Britman will be delighted to barely understand the plot.
62 Responses to “Curse Of The Curmudgeon”
I think this HYS thread is a plot by Professor Yarna to confuse the masses so that he has time to finalise his plan for world domination, before Doctor ‘big nose’ notices…
Norman Hartnell?
As in Sir Norman Bishop Hartnell KCVO 1977, MVO 1953, PA Officier de l’Ordre des Palmes Academiques 1939 (born 12 June 1901 London, died 8 June 1979 Windsor) was an influential British fashion designer. Royal Warrant as Dressmaker to HM The Queen 1940, subsequently Royal Warrant as Dressmaker to HM Queen Elizabeth The Queen Mother. Royal Warrant as Dressmaker to HM Queen Elizabeth II 1957.
With hero worship like this, Nick Griffin has nothing to worry about
I find it interesting that True Britman’s spelling is fine until Nick Griffin is mentioned at which point it goes wonky.
But then I guess it must be difficult to type and wank yourself stupid at the same time…
Marvellous! I am going to change my what would Jeebus do? car sticker and get a what would Nick Griffin do? one instead.
I am going to join the HYS silent minority and follow Griffin’s teachings.
DEAF 2 ANYFING DIFFRUNT!!11111
Fuck off. Calling Poe on True Britman. For one thing, he can spell “true”.
Just, fuck off. That’s not a real person. That’s a fucking parody. No. Fucking. Way.
Look at True Britman’s HYS post history page.
A veritable goldmine.
I concur with my learned friend, “True Britman” is an attempt to satirise our BNP loving pals who adore Mr Griffin and all his furrin hating ways.
Good job tho son!
On the Dr Who thread tho I love the indignant rants about “its too PC, next time it will be a black lesbian in a wheelchair”.
Till someone pointed out that Time Lords can only regenerate a certain number of times and each time in the gender and ethnicity of the previous one.
Ah, there’s the donkey jacket!
True Britman’s at it again today!
“Q: What should parties focus on in the pre-election campaign
I would like to see equal press coverage given to Nick Griffin as he is the only politition who makes any sence to me.
The rest all speek a load of rubbish and spin but Nick speeks about things that matter, like good educatian system & immegratian control.
I dont care what the rest say cause I know its just a lot of lies, Nick always tells the truth & is totelly consistent in his views.
So the focus shoold be on immegratian & job creation for the peeple of England.
True Britman”
Steve Day (him, him and him) has been a busy little beaver, hasn’t he?
As Lionel Richie might have sung: “Yes, you’re once, twice, three times a witless fucking twat.”
@ Jesus Chris,there are a fair few jokers getting on HYS at the moment with some oh so hilarious names, try
The only Totty he is seeing is from the bushes with the binoculars.
How about the humourmeister himself
Possibly recommended by his friend Ben Dover?
Obviously True Britman didn’t get the edukashun due to all the furrins being here-wouldn’t happen if Nick was in power.
Here’s a gem from True Britman:
Quiet frankly the budget was rubish if I cood get a job its just a way of taxing me more.
Complains about high taxes even though he doesn’t pay any. Nice.
When I read:
I assumed that Samuel L Jackson was bigging up Nick Griffin. Which is wrong on a number of levels.
@dumbest,
i think [deanarabin] was referring to Norman Hartnell, Brentford shopkeeper and inventor of various bizarre gadgets, including a means of transporting the Great Pyramid from Egypt to Brentford. Not to be confused with the other Norman Hartnell.
@Ceannair – stop getting my hopes up!
If he’s a parody then he’s really dedicated to being a shit parody and deserves mockery on those grounds anyway.
@czardas, that would be the Norman Hartnell with the sweet shop whose Mrs ran off. Didn’t know he was a time lord as well- you do get all sorts in Brentford
@Rotwatcher, wrong, yes, but I would pay to see it, just to see Griffins face.
No, the one who runs the corner shop in Robert Rankin’s “Brentford Trilogy”. Not to be confused with the other Norman Hartnell.
That sort of post by people outraged that their particular obsessions aren’t the focus of each and every published article is depressingly common in vox-pop blogs. They probably write to Garden News, “How can you talk about pruning roses while Gordon Clown is flushing this once great country down the toilet?”
I wonder what John Gittos’ nickname was at school. Jonno? JG? The Johnster? I certainly can’t think of anything else in his name that kids might pick up on.
Yeah Steve! And have you seen that fucking Paki-fest Eastenders these days ‘n’ all?!
One of the first things the new Doc asked himself was “am I a girl?” – so it looks like the possibility is there; the only reason he’s stayed male so long is those brave boys on HYS who Stand Up To The Feminazis.
Steve’s right about it being bog standard though. I mean, what sci-fi show/Eastenders episode hasn’t alluded to a character face-fucking a sentient paving slab in its time?
My brain, as is its wont, was wondering about Normans who could have played the Doctor, and was quite happily imagining testing out various famous people of that name in the role.
Until suddenly, like a turd popping up in a flower bed, the name “Tebbit” floated through my mind.
My ECT is now booked for Thursday.
What I like is Steve’s righteous statement of what Dr Who is absolutely supposed to be, as though the qualities of the show are some universally-defined constant that the liberal propaganda machine the BBC has started to cock about with.
Obviously it’s supposed to be challenging and scary but not in any ways that make Steve feel uncomfortable or inadequate.
I wonder if that’s the same “Steve Day” that used to complain about Liberals on DW newsgroups years ago:
More quality from True Britman:
DEBATE: What did you think of the Queen’s speech?
SENT:18-Nov-2009 12:26
COMMENT:The queen shoodn’t have to make a speach that she didnt rite. Parliment should be canceled permantly & the Queen should be restored to true head of state for this country – England, The Scotts & Welch can have there own currupt parliments.
This country would be run much better by the monarchy, Prince Philip has the right idea about foreigners coming here & trying to run our country, he shood advice the queen on her speach.
Were proud to be English, bring back the English monarchy.
I know this isn’t the place but people here probably look at b3ta too, and I know arguing on the internet is very silly, but am I the only person in the world that thinks male and female ‘circumcision’ are quite different things? Or in actual fact am I just sexist? Please, this is bothering me more than HYS.
http://b3ta.com/questions/sexism/post603191
I prefer the episodes with William Hartnell.
How did he manage to spell foreigners correctly?
@Oaf, proof I would say of True Tit not being a genuine HYS twatbasket, think Jesus Chris wins he tenner for first spotting.
Given that the lead question was about David Tennant playing the role, does that mean that it’s the show that’s real and the actors that are fake?
@czardas
Rankin’s Norman Hartnell also invented a time machine.
Anyone else actually see that last “End of Time” episode? From the start right to the end? I think it finally managed to cure the Dr. Who obsession I’ve had for the last 20 years or so.
At one point the missus asked me “How many times have you said ‘this is fucking shit’ so far?”. It was about 15. That was half an hour in.
Maybe Steven Moffat can rescue it for the next series. If Davies hasn’t completely George Lucased it already.
@Theodore and the suit that makes you irresistible to women.
To be fair, on the Dr Who debate, I have to say the last one I thought was any good was Tom Baker-a true weirdo that didn’t really have to act the part.
@Popiella: I could put forward some theories about how the circumcision/genital mutilation debate is More Complicated Than That ((c) Ben Goldacre), such as internalized rationalization, or the fraction of b3ta posters that live in a country where FGM’s outlawed – but we’re only qualifed to talk about animal bits round here.
However, the heading for that thread is a textbook HYS “I’m not sexist but…” prompt, and therefore ripe for the picking. My SO and I recently saw a bus-stop advert that said, in foot-high letters, “CAREER WOMEN MAKE BAD MOTHERS”. We both paused and muttered “what?” – on getting much closer, it turned out to be an advert for HYS. This method of publishing indefensible statements as if they were fact, then disguising it as “provoking a discussion” (or worse still, “teaching the controversy”), really fucks me off.
So if Happy Days jumped the shark, and Star Trek grew a beard, can we say Dr Who face-fucked the pavement*?
*I’ve not seen it, so am basing this only on comments here.
@Kelvin
It beggars belief when there is so much wrong with me, the only thing everyone can take the piss out of is my name. Besides, the joke’s on you. It’s pronounced SHITE-TOES.
@Nelson
Now that’s what you call a spot on parody of a post in the HYS Dr. Who ‘debate’.Indistinguishable from the real thing apart from the subtleties imparted by context by being posted somewhere where people don’t give a shit.
@ Shackleton
Surely that makes you ideally placed to make a comment on HYS?
What Nelson said. More “Blink”, less bollocks.
I think you’ll find it was J, R, Hartnell.
Or possibly Hartley the Hare and… PIG! Now there was a HYS regular in the making..
All of you who are trying not to confuse [deanarabin] with the other Norman Hartnell are missing the point: Invasion of the Dinosaurs was a Pertwee serial.
Therefore, [deanarabin] is not being completely honest with us.
Yeah, Bill Pertwee really was the best Doctor.
If I said “Hylda Baker”, would anyone know who the hell I was talking about?
On a frivolous note, Nelson I agree with you – while RTD should be praised for bringing back the Dr, he can’t write a good story for shit. And I can’t stand his “oooh look this character is SO gay, and as it happens I’m gay, gay, gayer than you!” shite. Enough already…
And I’ll also never forgive him for turning Canal St in Manchester into the “zoo” it is today – Queer As Folk was shite as well, as it happens.
True Britman doesn’t spell like someone who can’t spell. He spells like someone taking the piss. He’s like me on the BNP site, trotting out every possible racist epithet possible that doesn’t actually use words like “nig-nogs” or “Pakis”, so I can conveniently maintain that I’m not being racist, just Indigenously British. He goes too far though, and it’s not funny. Technically that makes it pastiche, not parody, I guess.
Also, I thought deanarabin meant Norman Lovett. Why the fuck has he got “arab” in his name?
@Fish – of course I do. She knows (what you’re trying to say), you know.
TYF can only get through a RTD ep of Dr Who by fantasising about torturing him to death in the spare room (once he’s done with Alan Carr, fnarr fnarr, etc.). He’s still not got over Tom Baker not being the Doctor anymore.
Of course we’ll be watching the new series.
Yeah, but Century Falls was amazing…
@Bit Spesh
Any chance of borrowing your spare room when you young man has done? I’ve got Lynda LaPlante*, Michael McIntyre and Frankie Boyle to deal with and there’s no point in getting both our spare rooms covered in blood and body parts.
*For her HYSque twatbaskety comments about political correctness gornmaaad at the BBC made as a desperate attempt to get publicity for her latest pile of crap and for being rubbish, of course.
True, however it seems plenty fall for it.
169 people! 169 other people think that this is a well thought out response they can really get behind. Fuck me.
@ La Spesh
Yay! I’ve been going about for years quoting her to general puzzlement of the population of East Anglia*.
* Although their puzzlement may be that I stand upright, talk English, and don’t fuck my sister.
I’d like the Doctor to make his Phone Box appear suddenly in front of True Britprick when he’s out walking and to sweep him off to meet my Polish Dad in around 1942, somewhere in Germany or Poland and to explain his adulation of The Griffin (or Twatfeatures as we like to call him). Hopefully he will return …. alive. Bloody Poles coming over here to fly our Spitfires better than our Brit guys, smug bastards. Or the Phone Box Tardis thing could whisk True Britvic (his name is Vic) off to the Worst Place in All the Universes, or even Eastbourne. True Herr Britman how many medals have you awarded yourself today? (Translation for Britwank: Ear mate wot is yu finkin abaht na yu tosswad. I wil effin nock yor n-ffin ed orf.)
You’re right, but this is HYS we’re talking about. They’re not a group known for their grasp of subtleties. In fact, they probably think subtleties are the words you get at the bottom of the TV screen when something forrin’s on.
@Ed aka Ghost of Cuger-Jaggar, PhD
I actually found two copies of “Fly Fishing” by J. R. Hartley in the Harold Washington Library in Chicago. Didn’t know he was one of the Doctors as well.
True Britman HAS to be a some sort of shit cross party BNP saboteur. How in fuck’s name do you explain spelling that atrocious.
Although if this is the case then it kind of makes HYS irrelevant.