Oddly for a SYB post, this one doesn’t have an actual quote in it. There’s one topic that doesn’t need a quote because essentially the exact same comment has been posted a billion times on every news forum, not to mention repeated a billion times by every tedious cunt in the pub. You can reconstruct it from first principles pretty easily. Just imagine you have the IQ of a shampoo bottle and you see white stuff falling out of the sky.
Coldest winter in a generation, eh? Bet all the global warmalists are feeling stupid now! Because it’s like, really cold, see, and they’re all saying the world’s getting warmer! But it’s not, because it’s cold! See how clever I am, noticing that a cold winter is the opposite of a warmer planet?
Some cunt, Swirling Around In The Shitting Bumwank
Now you could argue with these people – I mean, you could argue with a dachshund if you wanted to lose an equal amount of your precious life in a pointless, one-sided debate – but don’t. Just smile the smile of a man imagining his interlocutor smugly raising his finger to denounce Science from the middle of a fridge-sized ice cube. Maybe being used as a sledge by some Tongans.
58 Responses to “One Very Important Thought”
I have lost arguments with dachshunds more than once. Razor sharp some of those lads
I have resolved to respond to the next person who says that to me very simply: “Shut up you cunt.”
“shitting bumwank”
‘some cunt’ uses a direct quote from Alex (“The sweet taste of justice” 7th Jan) here on this site. Either ‘one of us’ or a troll.
(not even going to attempt blockquote bollocks, sorry)
Are you sure he’s not taking the piss?
From the BBC:
If you want a fact don’t go to a scientist, just ask a Lord. Go on, ask me anything.
The first line of the post holds the key, Victoire.
@Shackleton: I was going to comment and say I intended to punch smug cunts like that in the face, but since I’m a lazy bastard, I’ll follow your example.
victoire:
I don’t think you get it
BBC News cover the case of seven Muslim protestors accused of abusing soldiers…
“If you like it so much…” quote spot in news coverage, as well as a direct quote of spoken out loud word-action from one the public.
I claim my £10.
Actually cold weather does disprove climate change I know because it was on the front page of a newspaper and news is FACT.
Points deducted for not managing to shoe-horn something about Diana, which surely should be second nature by now.
Apologies for the completely off-topic post in any case. I’ve been bored at work this week.
@kukomanga You have to read between the lines and stuff.
What made Diana’s car crash? Clearly the tunnel was filled with snow and black ice, probably by Prince Phillip working with the University of East Anglia climate change department. And what do you think the white Fiat Uno was made of? No doubt the snowman who drove it was built by the 5 year old son of an MI6 agent.
On the plus side, the comments on those articles make HYS seem sane:
Yeah, let’s not let the pesky fact that 2009 was one on the hottest years on record (http://data.giss.nasa.gov/gistemp/graphs/) change out idiotic opinions, eh?
Some time in the future, you may have the opportunity to serve as a juror in a so-called obscenity case?
Thanks for reminding me why I gave up drinking fifteen years ago*.
Okay, that and the severe physical and psychological trauma of addiction, but quite frankly, all the cold turkey was worth it to get out of the tottering direction of “pissartist philosophers”.
Am I missing something here? Surely this poster is on our side, i.e. not a nutter?
I didn’t coin ‘shitting bumwank’. That’s one of Nelson’s. He inserted it forcibly into one of my posts just because he felt like it, as he often does, and now it’s caught on. Surely you recognise his handiwork? Anyway, this is about the fourth time it’s been used. Nube.
Anyway, don’t blame that filth on me.
Come on guys – read the post. It’s Kelvin illustrating a generic cunting position that’s posted everywhere. Not an actual HYSer “quote” (I dare say he’s paraphrased only slightly though).
I think this demonstrates why the Great British Public are so courageous in identifying the MMGW conspiracy, propogated by adbsolutely everyone with a liberal elite educashun.
“Yeah, let’s not let the pesky fact that 2009 was one on the hottest years on record”
But it was also very rainy, so the hotness didn’t count. Didn’t you know – Global Warming means we’ll have nice hot summers and mild winters? It must mean that, because that would be nice.
That’s not snow, it’s tiny dead polar bears!
Unfortunately, the Express, as evidenced by its circulation figures, has becomes the newspaper equivalent of a bunch of HYS posters. The Mail, for all its shitting bumwank (
) at least manages to squeeze a fact or two in at the end of each story, after the inflammatory and misleading headline and standfirst. It’s only a short amount of time before the front page headline of the Express reads: “WOULD YOU LIKE FRIES WITH THAT?”
Anyone who still reads it should probably consider themselves lower than a Mail reader.
It’s a combination of about five comments that have either been sent in on the submissions address, shown up in some of the regular twats’ recent histories, and Neil Craig. I think I’d better edit the post to make it more clear though.
OK, I tried editing it but I couldn’t make it any clearer that it’s not a real quote than by saying so in the first fucking sentence so I guess it stands.
For those of you who didn’t get Kelvin’s original post just pretend that this piece of loose stool water was quoted instead of Kelvin’s composite. From our local Daily Mail a-like the Western Morning News
do the climate-dementors realise that there are other countries, let alone another hemisphere, where it is not the coldest winter on record?
fucking twats.
I think you’ll find the weather in Manchester is evidence enough for my friends, my paper and Sarah Palin. I will agree with you when my house is underwater and 2009 is shown to be one of the top 10 hottest years on record.
I would rather listen to Top Gear presenters than so-called “sceintsits” anyday. They are honest, decent folks and review cars for the general populace every week. Are you saying these fine people are biased? Do they have “vesty” intersets? If anyone could prove James May wrong they would have broken his Meccano set by now.
The cunt speaks:
“Get rid of cheap alcohol. Not by making low quality alcohol more expensive, but by getting rid of it altogether. Set higher quality standards for alcohol. Also, get rid of small sized spirit bottles, and the 500ml cans of beer and cider and only keep the 750ml spirits and 330ml beer bottles. It probably won’t keep desperate people from drinking, but at least it might make them think about it twice.
I am spEak You’re bRanes, London”
If anyone comes near my 500ml Stella I swear I’ll do time.
I must have been up too late last night. I wasted entire minutes trying to figure out what country someone called Imonlysa Yingit could have come from.
Mind you I’m currently trying to learn Portuguese..
Wha.. Prince Phillip killed the DIANSAURS?
Yes, unlike the theory of gravity, which was made by unicorns & God and is 100% FACT.
I love it, absolutely love it, when people say ‘err yeah but evolution / climate change are just THEORIES,’ and then sit back all smug as if they’ve just said something ground breaking, and you know their opinion is because it’s called a ‘theory’ they think it was must have been invented by some bored scientists on their day off who wanted an extra pay check and just said ‘yeah, I reckon we come from monkeys, that’ll do, now let’s shove this theory down some Christian’s throat.
*weeps*
My best mate Tom is 100% sold on global warming – it is really fucking annoying when he bleats on in the pub about armageddon being just round the corner.
I just slip a couple of extra shots in his drinks until he shuts the fuck up.
PS. The arse drives a 4×4.
You should point out how cold it is, I bet that’d shut him up.
Well, I just saw on the Times that Lebanon is enduring 26 degrees centigrate heat in the middle of fucking Winter.
So that proves global warming.
I’m fairly certain this cold weather proves Darwin was a Muslim.
@Jesus Chris
You’re forgetting that Lebanon is forrun and full of brown people and therefore doesn’t count.
My fave post on global warming / cooling so far is from
http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/thereporters/richardblack/2010/01/arctic_conditions_arctic_cause.html
It’s quite possible* that climateheretic is an agent of the Zionist Librul One-World Conspiracy tasked with making us thing that people who don’t believe on global warming are knuckle-dragging shit-spewers. And, hey, it’s working. Or maybe he’s just a arthritic aardvark’s anal fistula.
*In a world where the none of the normal rules of logic and reason apply that is.
I sometimes wonder if the Daily Mail has pre-generated comments:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-512815/Briton-jailed-years-Dubai-customs-cannabis-weighing-grain-sugar-shoe.html
“Good on these authorities for actually enforcing the law of the land, I have no pity for the suspects and criminals whom they have caught, some ignorant, some stupid and some simply brazen. It seems that suspect “profiling” is alive, well and working effectively in some parts of the world.
It’s a shame that our own establishment is so weak by comparison.
- Perfectly Fair, Edinburgh, Scotland”
“Surely the real question here is how does a “youth worker” from the West Midlands with a family to provide for, afford properties in two different countries and be able to afford to travel back and forth regularly. Is there a house price boom currently going on in Ethiopia? Or am I in the wrong job?
- Sean, Swadlincote, Derbyshire, 08/2/2008″
“This does not sit right, but why can’t Britain be strong like other countries.
- Kim, Brighton, 08/2/2008 10:25″
Someone please invite them to Dubai.
@ Monsk
I’m currently copying and pasting that comment into blogs on the Telegraph. I’ll let you know how it goes.
If you have a bit of time spare, try sympathy trolling this erudite blog post with comments from HYS.
Because, you know, the replies are fun. Like this one!
Did you see what he did there! Just in case you didn’t, he left a space between the first letter of each word. Just so you know it’s an acrostic.
I think that’s the verbal equivalent of nudging someone and going “Eh, eh, eh! Did you see what I did there! How clever is that!”
Verbal equivalent?
Written equivalent. See, I’m getting far too excited now.
So that’s why I saw Michael Fish in a tank….
Don’t bother, I’m still wearing it and will stop shouting in through the window.
Jesus Chris,
The last line of the quote you posted was:
I think you (and therefore we) may have found the hidden meaning behind HYS. To requote, with emphasis:
Shall we rename then “hysters” right now or do we need a vote?
Maybe I should have just asked whether it’s a coincidence that shyster has “hys” in the middle?
Would have saved all the blockquote effort. Hey ho.
This may be inappropriate in that there’s no gag, but an interesting and accessible roundup of the latest environmental science can be found in this week’s Economist at http://www.economist.com/sciencetechnology/displaystory.cfm?story_id=15211377 (1998 was the hottest global year on record so far, but there are graphs showing a remorseless upward trend before and after).
I think calling them hysters would give far too much credit to the mandrill’s muff that wrote the think in the first place.
@Ed
Most recommended pile of dog wank:
Yes, it would be nice if the Economist would explain how you reach the conclusions in your own head. Still, it’s a fuckload better than this:
Yeah, fuck it. Get the tea leaves and the crystal ball out instead. What a pelican’s pouch.
I love The Economist but think it should only print stuff I agree with (and have pictures of naked women).
Yeah, bloody “predicting” stuff. What a “bunch” of “know” it “all”s. I hate “them”.
“Now, Kettley, we’re preparing to assault this hill, but we can only do it if there’s heavy cloud cover blocking the moonlight. So I need you to predict heavy cloud cover or we’ll take serious losses.”
“But, sir, looking at prevailing conditions there’s an 80% chance of nothing heavier than cirrostratus!”
“You’ll predict that heavy cloud cover, Kettley, THAT’S AN ORDER!”
christopher booker is a piece of work. he thinks asbestos and talcum powder are the same thing, and topped it all by coming out as a creationist a few years back.
but he’s still not as stabmental as monckton, who thinks that HIV can’t infect heterosexuals, that HIV carriers should be imprisoned, and that it’s safe to eat DDT insecticides by the tablespoonful (LD50 for an adult is estimated to be about 1tbsp).
ooh, monckton appears to be a veritable kadir-buxton. he claims he can cure multiple sclerosis, influenza, food poisoning, and HIV.
i can’t corroborate the rumour that these cures are based on fisting. though i gather his perpetual motion machine will be.
This seems like a pretty simple claim for him to prove. I mean, it worked for Jasmuheen.
yup, that seems to be the response of the internet hate machine when that retarded little argument got spun.
but i’m too much of a guardian-reading, tofu-eating*, long-haired pussy to want to see an apparently mentally-ill man kill himself due to his own self-delusion.
i’d much rather mock him, and anyone moronic enough to quote him favourably.
* i don’t even fucking /like/ tofu. it reminds me of the sludge you get at the bottom of the cup when you make a cuppa tea with off milk.
[blockquote]
The Met office is a branch of the Ministry of Defence. They “predict” what they are told to predict.
[/blockquote]
Having worked with the MoD and the Met Office on a project, the idea that they might be working together is so laughable that I might laugh.
What I do predict is that I’ve bolloxed up those blockquotes.
See?