Outsiders and Permanently Bewildered12 Jan 2010 10:43 am
By Nelson
Thanks to Gus for finding this at the Telegraph. Don’t read the article, it was written by an idiot.
When trying to collapse a house of cards it’s better to pull a card from the bottom. Your enemy expects you to attack their current lie and so your efforts are wasted. Attack them from the rear, in positions they thought were secure. I speak of course about the scientific fraud of evolution.
Joe
An excellent plan. Soon their ludicrous “scientific” edifice will come crashing down, taking all this unholy computer magic with it. I’m doing my bit by campaigning to get Ohm’s law repealed.
62 Responses to “Attack Them From The Rear”
“If we can hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate.”
I know it’s a Futurama quote but it is remarkably close to his incoherence.
Hey Joe! You’re dead on mate. Bloody scientists with their ‘theories’ and ‘hypotheses’. So how about you go and show ‘em how this so-called ‘gravity’ is nothing but a clever concoction to keep us from flying out to space and discovering that it does, in fact, not exist! I can direct you to a couple of high buildings, if you want.
The second law of thermodynamics is an ass.
Oh yes! If you want a total load of wank, go to a creationist.
The people who flew the planes into the WTC on 9/11 were probably creationists as well. I rest my case
Yes, of course, that’s it – if you pull at one weak link of this whole “rationalism” nonsense, it all falls apart!
Make no mistake, Joe will pull it – just as soon as he finds it…
I read it. It’s by Gerald Warner.
Here’s the byline:-
“Gerald Warner is an author, broadcaster, columnist and polemical commentator who writes about politics, religion, history, culture and society in general.”
He is being slightly modest there. He left out ‘And massive cuntbeak.’
Is he suggesting that houses of cards don’t expect you to pull a card from the bottom?
If I was a house of cards I would definitely expect that.
In the case of the argument between pro-and anti-AGW, you need only look at those propounding the arguments. On the pro- side, 99.99999% of the scientific community; on the anti- side, a retired Australian geologist, Britain’s favourite Cockney plant-botherer, and the impeccably qualified triumvirate of Melanie Philipps, Rod Liddle, and James Delingpole.
repeal thermodynamics! it’s the tool of the devil! http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28308/
(actually, as a former physics student myself, i can honestly say that thermodynamics is clearly the invention of a sadist. fuck you carnot.)
And Neil Craig. Don’t forget Neil Craig.
ad hominem! elitist!
I’m no scientist, but I’m pretty sure at least one of these statements is false:
“They called it global warming, we have cold/freezing weather and now they changed it to climate change. I’m not a fool.
segman01 on Jan 7th, 2010 at 4:03 am “
Now if Paul Daniels could pull a card from his bottom…
I particularly like the bit in Joe’s post where he tells us exactly how to attack the scientific fraud of evolution, how to crack the otherwise convincing mountain of evidence, both of fossils and in genetic analyses, and likewise how he puts forth a watertight case for the alternative.
I liked that bit the best.
You know what – I had. Thanks.
I, too, read the article. I wish I hadn’t, but I am wondering when newspapers decided to suspend dealing with facts and start dealing in ethereal bumwaffle.
This bit?
Can anyone spot the mistake? Apart from the fact that he wasn’t smothered at birth.
In fairness, I agree with him on evolution. The more rational theory is Kadir-Buxton AnimalChangery.
I hear they teach it at Harvard.
The rear assault on godless scientists starts here:
Global Dust Spikes, Paleoclimate Indicators, and Collapse of Civilizations All Correlate to Date of Noah’s Flood
Oooh! Oooh! I know! Is it that god-like control of the weather patterns would actually solve the entire climate change issue in about ten minutes?
@ Pob
Genuine unexplainable smirk in the office moment
actual proper lol.. from that blog.. “I believe that one day all science will be done on blogs because we bloggers are natural skeptics, disbelieving the mainstream and accepting the possibility of any alternative idea.”
S/he’s a full-on truth-ninja
I’m going to start up my own science blog and find the Higgs boobon. I reckon if we all start commenting on each others posts faster and faster and faster and FASTER until we’re going, like NINETY MILES AN HOUR, eventually we’ll be able to smash all the blogs together and see a real boobon come out.
Joe is right. science is THE place to be if you want to be rolling in it by the time you’re 25.
don’t believe me? just head down to your nearest university research lab, and see all those scientists flashing their bling-bling jewellery while they drive their bentleys.
Ah, I missed that one because I was too busy laughing at the idea that we had god-like control over the weather patterns in the first place.
I was thinking of him wanking on about religion, then saying that Creationism and AGW only work if you don’t look for the science in it.
Because I know that the first place I turn to for robust scientific analysis is Genesis, chapter one, verse one.
Fucking hell. Not Creationism. Evolution. Fuck’s sake.
Anyway, thank you for my bedtime lol, Nelson. It explains why I haven’t been very successful in my search… I was looking for the Higgs bonbon.
Or I could also go for the fact that being continually told I was wrong in school was supposed to be good for my ego.
Or maybe that was just man’s ego. And I was just a boy. Just a boy.
oh fuck, you’re right. i guess the game really is up.
ok guys, time to turn the north pole heaters off. to be honest, it was only a matter of time before someone noticed them from the uneven heating patterns they were causing: http://data.giss.nasa.gov/work/gistemp/NMAPS/tmp_GHCN_GISS_1200km_Anom11_2009_2009_1951_1980/GHCN_GISS_1200km_Anom11_2009_2009_1951_1980.gif
oh well, the conspiracy was good while it lasted. and at least no-one has thought to ask why we’re still hiding the cure for cancer. don’t want the grants to dry up too fast, do we?
Jesus Christ, the Higgs Bonbon is on the 2nd shelf from the top, between the Cough Candy and the Rhubarb and Custards.
he’s mispelt religion there or i’m an coelecanth
I’ve just spent hours looking for the Higgs Bourbon.
And by the time I found it, it had gone all soft.
“In the case of the argument between pro-and anti-AGW, you need only look at those propounding the arguments”
Not really. The evidence is much a much betterer bet.
One the one hand: some powerpoint slides.
On the other: some incoherent blog rants.
DO YOU SEE??/
Well, that settles it then.
I’m voting Green at the next election.
When the Hadron collider broke, they suggested that the Higgs Bambergascoigne was created then it travelled back in time (because it should never have existed) and sabotaged the collider so that it never did actually exist.
Well, if the tiny particle is clever enough to knacker a multi-billion pound machine, why didn’t it just leave an e-mail explaining its actions and tell the scientists not to bother because it’s only going to happen again?
Hello? Is it me you’re looking for?
Ah jeez, sorry, thought someone finally wanted to talk to me. Oh well, ne’er mind…Back to my Lionel records I suppose.
If you just start bashing it from the top in any old fashion, you could be there all day.
I was looking for the Higgs Bosom, but Mr Higgs lamped me for staring at his wife’s breasty substances.
I keep mine in the liquor cabinet.
Not quite that fast. If my calculations are correct, when this baby hits eighty-eight miles per hour… you’re gonna see some serious shit.
higgs bison are nothing more than a tiny species of land cow, which is why they are hard to spot.
And I’ll bet they’re just boasting about how large their hardons are.
Coat.Got.Gone.
The Higgs Boatswain tried to kill Johnny Depp in Pirates of the Caribbean.
Gerald Warner is and always has been a toff. As an expert in medieval history he clearly understands the nuances of proving facts; after all his book looks at those well known conspiracy theories around Disneylands Club 33, and he wears a monocle.
Clearly evolution is all lies and if you can see stuff like little particles who can believe in them either. Fuck radio waves! and if you think I buy that gravity shite then you must think I’m crazy. All science is clearly the work of the devil, if it doesn’t prove God exists.
I think Paul has a good point, there should be three lines at the airport: Smith’s Jones’s and ‘Others’ (fucking foreigners!).
We are surely missing the pot of gold under our feet here – Joe is funny, but Gerald Warner is a parody of gigantic proportions. Can this man actually exist? Even in the Daily Telegraph? His wikipedia page (presumably written by himself) says that:
‘Although his legal name in the United Kingdom is “Gerald Warner of Craigenmaddie” (with the official style of The Much Honoured the Laird of Craigenmaddie), he does not appear to use this formal style in his journalistic writing, preferring “Gerald Warner”
It is like someone opened the gate of the HYS zoo and one escaped into the (semi-) real world.
I don’t think I’m sophisticated enough to attack evolution from the rear. Should I stick a cattle prod up a dinosaur’s bum, or should I lurk outside a laboratory and leap out on geneticists from behind? I want to help, but I’m not sure how. I found this…
Forced monkey organ transplants!!!! That MUST be attacking evolution from the rear, surely? They’d never expect that?
I’m a biologist and an atheist – and I am currently in one of the most god-bothering parts of the USA. Many first meetings here tend to go along the lines of ‘what do YOU do, and what church have you joined?’ and go rapidly downhill from there. Can anyone get me a job in Australia please? In the meantime I must just go sacrifice a black goat to a stature of Darwin or whaterver it is I am supposed to do, tchh…
Gerald warner fanclub: the telegraph has a whole stream of anti-science mentalists writing for them. i mentioned some of the more “creative” (read “completely unsubstantiated conspiracy-theory toss”) beliefs of christophers booker and monckton yesterday: http://ifyoulikeitsomuchwhydontyougolivethere.com/2010/01/08/one-very-important-thought/comment-page-2/#comment-149482
Booker had something in Der Stürmer today along the lines of because swine flu wasn’t as bad we were told then global warming isn’t happening or something.
I didn’t actually read the article (I’m not that masochistic)but I think my extrapolation from the headline won’t prove to be too far off.
Oh Christ, I read the article and the comments – fkn idiot that I am. It’s full of ‘hear hear’ and ‘well said sir’ and ‘you are a fearless Englishman’ and even ‘good egg’. All it needs is a ‘I say you fellows’ and ‘yaroosh!’ and it’s Greyfriars redux.
Oh fuck! I read the article: what a cretin!
I feel sick…
Thank fuck no scientists were involved in the creation of the internet or they would have made it impossible for the truth to be written on any blog and forced everyone to accept perverted ‘mainstream’ lies.
Fucking hell, what a depressing cunt. Though his fanboys below the line are even more nauseating. If you’re a hardcore masochist try skimming through his post history.
Somewhere, Tim Berners-Lee is sobbing uncontrollably.
Don’t be silly. The internet was invented by good, British scientists. They’re also the ones who go to church, vote Conservative or UKIP and wouldn’t ever dream of using their “hypotheses” and “laboratories” to tell you that according to their “facts”, you should be doing something “differently”. After all, robust scientific debate happens on the internet, and is conducted by journalists who think that the world is 6000 years old, peers who lied to sell more copies of a puzzle they made up and scientists who believe in robust, real things, like dowsing, the safety of cigarettes and their stock portfolios and directorships. Good, British scientists. Alright, not technically British, but they say what we think, so they can be honorary British. As long as they’re not brown.
Wait a minute didn’t Al Gore invent the internet and global warming?
Tell them it’s the Church of Starry Wisdom (and show them your shining trapezohedron).
@Bugrat – well, it certainly shines – I polish it a lot
From http://denialdepot.blogspot.com/2010/01/how-we-used-to-deny-1983.html…
Not a bad parody of homoeopathy:
http://denialdepot.blogspot.com/2009/12/new-theory-of-climate.html
See, even the ethnics think the British working class are disadvantaged – assuming he is really a brown clown, and not (as evidence suggests) a necroplic narwhale’s nematode nested ‘nad-sac
I think you’ll find it’s called a “narwhal”.