Something about the economy or something.
For heaven’s sake, BBC, stop peddling the ‘recession over’ line and talking about our economic problems as if they were in the past. This is all part of the Clown/Starling conspiracy to try to make us feel better before the election, whereas those of us who live in the real world know only too well that our problems are far from over. We won’t even be making a start on the road to recovery until 7th May; until then, please stop your government-driven propaganda.
Douglas Lee, London
Starling? Who the fucking cock is fucking Starling? Is it some kind of sideways reference to Josef Stalin, Soviet leader 1878-1953, but with an ‘r’ and a ‘g’ jammed in there so it’s an entirely different word? Is it the bird? I don’t know that much about birds. Are starlings like magpies, but for taxes instead of shiny stuff? Are they notorious as the absolute worst bird at overseeing a national economy? Or is it, as I suspect, that tedious moron Douglas Lee is physically incapable of either calling a politician by their real name or thinking up an even slightly witty substitute for ‘Darling’?
I’m just fed up with this. I sometimes assume Harriet’s surname means ‘son of Harper’ before realising that if that actually was her name I wouldn’t ever get to read it. Every time I summon up the masocourage to look at a right-wing blog and see if I’ve not been wrong all along, I have to waste twenty minutes of my precious life ploughing through the sixty-two latest hilarious incarnations of Comrade (Has-)Bean Jocksky Bottler McLeonidBrezhnev Tartantits One-Eyed Idiot Barry “Bagpipe” Soetero Haggisface until I finally get to some lazy variation on “McBroon” and work out it must be the Prime Minister.
Though I suppose they’re just as stumped when they read ‘Gordon Brown’.
77 Responses to “Guess Who”
Agent Starling, surely? It puts the lotion on the economy or else it gets the hose again.
In with john:
To be fair, john – I know you read SYB – it could get a lot better if you’d just fucking kill yourself. I know the human race has a happiness quota, and I know that you’re a miserable fartbubble, so slitting your fucking wrists in the bath will actually balance out the figures in the right direction.
Think about it.
The Starling Conspiracy. Like The Bourne Conspiracy. But shit.
@ Koala
If you can just rescue the economy, do you think the lambs will stop screaming, Clarice?
“Masocourage” is a brilliant word.
Rewal policing? is this some small village in Wales?,is Rewal the mythical land Johnny lives in? elucidate John and then we may take your rant seriously,on the other hand it is you so we will do the usual and ignore your fetid outpourings.
Starlings are noisy little assholes who go around in huge flocks and shit on everything. They’re also great mimics (close relative of the mynah bird) but I doubt that’s what the HYSer was thinking of.
Bet this won,t get passed the mods?!!!
Awww bless. I think it makes their batshit brain farts far more interesting to read, when you have to work out who the fuck they are talking about.
It’s the title of the fucking thread, but the average HYSer still reads “The recession is over now, thanks to the guidance of The Leader. Go forth into prosperity!”
From the ‘Have a whinge about the Davros Summit’ thread…
Ha! Pray, tell, that arcane pomposity beats ‘methinks’, methinks, what say you?
For heavens sake, when is the BBC going to stop peddling inconvenient FACTS and start going by the generic unsubstantiated prejudices through which I view the world?
@fp, ‘Pray tell’ definitetly trumps ‘methinks’ but add a ‘hey nonny’ and a marry ‘nuncle’ and you are well away.
I have been thinking of alternative witty names for politicians myself.
The current primeminister was jilted by the party when John Smith died and Tony Blair took over and according to some he is a bit of a moron. So jilted, John, moron….has to be Gordon.
He is also quite a shit public speaker and his smile could wither flowers at 100 paces. Shit and withered flowers are both brown in colour.
Gordon Brown – that’s what I’ll call the fucker. Aren’t I clever?
I always think of the Real Ale Twats from Viz when I see that sort of stuff in posts..
Even though I’m mostly a leftie liberal pacifist type, I do think it’s reasonable to start shooting any cunting fuckwit who makes a shitty fucking pun out of a politician’s name. Three bullets each, one in each fucking bollock and a final one right through the fucking smeggy bell-end.
I might need some air.
So he’s taken a politician who already has a mildly hilarious name and made up a distinctly non-hilarious name for him? Brilliant.
His critique on Ed Walls is equally biting, by the way.
Off topic, I know, but does anyone think that john Adair is starting to become a parody of himself?
Aliens must confuse the fuck out of john. Or maybe he’s just circumvented the problem by adding them to the “list of people I hate”.
Poe’s Law manifesting itself there.
The minute the Beeb posted that question it was as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror, and were suddenly silenced.
I really really really wish that was true.
But he’s real.
Also, you have to remove the trailing / from links, or it’ll do that thing it did there to your Poe link.
wow what a stream of pure undiluted sewage that thread is.
Electrospin is so funny, The Brown One, not only is he using Gordons’ real name, but he is trying equating him to a
poo. electrospin is so funny, I bet at Christmas he wears novelty ties around the office and says ‘squeeze me’ instead of ‘excuse me’ to all the ladies in the building. Utter utter……lost for words sorry.
I shouldn’t even have tried. I fail at the internet. And I still have no concept of how to do a blockquote.
What’s this?
You know, there’s a guy in our London office called Ian who seems to refer to himself as Cheese, and I can’t help but wonder if it’s him.
Pray tell, what did refusing to send me a copy of MS Query achieve?
“Even though I’m mostly a leftie liberal pacifist type, I do think it’s reasonable to start shooting any cunting fuckwit who makes a shitty fucking pun out of a politician’s name.”
yep i’m also a wet anti-war socialist liberal type but i cringe at “B.Liar” and also US blogs referring to “Repugs”, “Shrub” etc etc – just DON’T DO IT
To be fair, I swear liberals were responsible for ‘dubya’. It’s not quite the same, but close.
I get Shrub but who (prithee tell!!!) is Repugs ??
@Ceannair
Repugs/Repugnants = Repubs/Republicans.
The whole internet is just a steaming pile of shit.
Actually I’ve just realised I’m a bleedin’ hypocrite as I’ve been using the phrase “The Daily Fail” for some time now. Therefore I too must be bollock-shot. But it’s probably for the best.
I think that if you were in a country with as hate-filled and knowledge-hatin’ a group as the “conservative” base in the USA, you might call them “repugs” too. Methinks.
Repugs isn’t clever. Neither is “cunts”, but at least people don’t need it translated.
Repugs, could it also be a play on the fact that most of those types look like a Pug dog chewing a thistle? All come under the heading twat in any case.
I have to say I am convinced that each time one of these fuckos uses “B-liar”; “ZaNuLieBour” and “AlJaBeeba”, they think they are the first and it is so funny.
1. It’s not funny.
2. You’re not first, those “witticisms” ahev had more use than Steven Gerrard’s missus.*
*known as D Wing round these parts, due to the number of gangsters she’s had in her.
How the fuck did I spell “have” that badly ?? Arsetwigs.
There is more to Alex Curran than just getting screwed:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/pdp/profile/A5GDWQ3VA418
Sorry folks, a little off topic, but from the HYS ‘equality gap between rich and poor’ this obvious turdspurter whining on about folk on benefits just made me laugh.
So Nicelobon (ho ho very witty), you are too ill to work but in two years time you are going to be made redundant,not only are you bullshitting the doctors with your made up achy joints, but you have a crystal ball monitoring your employers business plan for the next two years and you know that they are going to kick your hypochondriac arse out the door. I think they will be glad to get rid of you, you whiny gaping badgers ring piece.
On the other hand, sneering at punny names is insufferably smug and reeks of arch cooler-than-thouness. “Bliar” did actually carry some rhetorical impact for a short time, though that was many years ago. Where this goes wrong is when people keep using it long after everyone’s seen it a hundred times, and when it gets really contrived and artficial. I mean, “Starling”, WTF?
Incidentally, “Dubya” came from the people around the worthless little shit. It was supposed to show his authentic Texas-ness in a cutesy, down-home way.
On the topic, Pete Tong seems to be worried about Viking raids or something.
Coffee… spat… monitor etc
He just missed out a colon.
May 10:20, payback time.
Is this when Nelson is going to send abusive texts ‘cos we have tracked the name and address through the IP?
It’s not the ‘Bliar’ and ‘ZaNuLabour’ that get me so much as the use of upper case and rampant exclamation marks – BLIAR!!! – as if sexwee stains that use them feel as if they are the first to come up with them and are shouting rude words like 5 year olds hopped up on tizer and jelly. @Silent Koala – are you avoiding the scan-debacle boss faceoff by spending all day in SYB? Chin up
Unlikely, that is more likely to be May 04:42. Nelson strikes me as the type to stick very closely to his M.O.
Yep. My powers are strongest at about 4:30 but are still powerful enough to do electromagnetic trickery at 04:42.
I went into a homeless shelter the other day. ‘I’d like a bowl of soup, please,’ I said.
‘Sorry, sir,’ said the PC Nazi on the other side of the counter, ‘but you’re quite clearly not homeless.’
‘This is a disgrace!’ I shouted. ‘I am even willing to pay for the soup if this is what is required!’
‘But sir,’ pleaded The Nulabur lacky, ‘If I were to let you have one of these bowls of soup that would mean that one unlucky homeless person would have to go without.
Needless to say, I stormed out, kicking one of the homeless children (who was probably on benefits, or drugs, or a woman or something) in the face. Not even this could quench my anger!
I was shaking with fury as I got home and fired up my internet browser to tell the world about my suffering. Thankfully, I was not the only one to be treated in such a way by these so called ‘charities’:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1246423/Children-middle-class-parents-banned-attending-school-trips.html
Here, you can see Anon is the kind of person who doesn’t like it when charities bring a smile to the faces of disadvantaged children. He comes from a strong family, that’s why he’s too scared to use his real name.
Rare bit of sense from SC. This post got 115 negative ratings.
But how many of those were for being a possible Spaniard?
Yeah, probably a forrun who doesn’t understand that the British way is to shit on the poor. Anything else would be unfair.
The Mail has dangled a juicy bit of blurry-gender-fear bait into their wolf-pit. The story concerns a transgender woman-to-man who is heavily pregnant but all beardy. The following comment got 302 negative votes.
What a disgusting comment!?! What kind of sickening freak would post something like that? Broken Britain strikes again!
dissaprove…click
But kudos to Der Stümer for spinning a story about something positive being done for disadvantage children into one about how hard done-by the middle classes are.
You think Clown/Starling’s bad? I just had the misfortune of accidentally reading a forum post about President “Obmobtax”. We’re not alone in this stupidity.
Oh god, that Daily Mail article.
George often detects sweaty, heavy hands on his balls. All of them his own.
When the Tories win the election, I’m going to be laughing my bollocks off one of two things happen…
1) Things don’t change at all.
2) Anyone reporting similar examples of “you couldn’t make it up!” is suddenly accused of trying to destroy the government.
You guys may already be aware of this, but it was a revelation to me.
Just Googled “Poe’s Law” and found myself on something called “Conservapedia” which is an American, Republican, right wing, fundamentalist version of Wikipedia.
Apparently they “do not allow liberal bias to deceive and distort here” and “no other encyclopedic resource on the internet is free of corruption by liberal untruths.”
They don’t like liberals much. In fact, they’re rewriting the Bible to remove its liberal references.
No, seriously:
http://www.conservapedia.com/Conservative_Bible_Project
You couldn’t make it up.
Fuck Me! That C.B.Project makes the Taliban look like a bunch of gay bishops.
The bits of their ‘Conservative Bible’ that are available to read are noteworthy for the fact that all the quality cock-ups that scientists jeer at have been smoothed and reworded to not fall foul of science. (Eg. the original Bible describes the moon as a light source, they have fuzzed their Conservative Bible so that it is no longer described as a source of light.)
Lying for God, how spiritual.
They are really really keen on hell. Fucking mentals.
Last one…
Two of the aims that their Bible will bring
• would flesh out and stop the infiltration of churches by liberals pretending to be Christian
• would debunk the pervasive and hurtful myth that Jesus would be a political liberal today
Gordon Clown, brilliant. I suppose we’d better thinking of witty names for when the conservatives get into power. how about camerbum
Yeah, I know for a FACT that Jesus would be reading Ayn Rand and shorting bank stocks. Because if there’s anything Jesus would be if he came back, it’s a hypocrite.
Conservapedia: a global source of proof that some knobheads need a damn good kicking.
A prize (one dartboard-sized picture of Pat Robertson) to the first person to make up something *more* batshit than what’s already there – and then demonstrate Poe’s Law by getting it onto C-Pedia for a week without the admins twigging.
Conservapedia is scary. I spent an hour or so last week trawling through it, and ended up wondering if we really are entering a new dark age.
Probably not. But it’s still depressing to know that there will indeed be people steering their kids to that sink of stupidity as a “source” of knowledge.
Well, in case you’re worried, here’s antidote number one from Stephen Colbert.
And here’s Colbert interviewing Andy Schlafly, founder of Conservapedia.
I lol’ed in my pants.
@ Jesus Chris
But don’t you see? The moment the Tories take over, it will be them who are deliberately conspiring to bring us all down (can’t be arsed to come up with stupid names for Cameron et al I’m afraid, but you’ll see ‘em soon enough), and Labour will instantly revert to being the party of the people.
@ My Foot Hurts
I suppose they’ll just leave the Old Testament as it is, and concentrate on removing all that “forgiveness” crap.
“I think what Jesus is really trying to say here is ‘fuck the socialists’…”
@ed
Try “Camoron”. I saw that one on Biased BBC, I think.
One of the neat things about the Interwebs is the way it’s all joined up – I just spent an entertaining half hour listening to some Colbert reports.
Conservapedia might sound like a nifty idea to some peeps, until they compare notes with the founders of HYS and realize that letting “the public” write in your book will just reveal that “the public” are not all witty, learned and rational. [I should know - I are one!]
Off topic – thanks to all youse for a witty, learned and rational site. [Okay, so two out of three then] It refreshes my soul after a hard day of being dull.
What about William Vague (chortle) and supporters of Cameron,Cameroons (snigger),or you could make up your own for the current shadow Secretary of State for Culture, Media and Sport,Jeremy Hunt,I just couldn’t think up anything for him, nothing rhymes.
I don’t think they let anybody amend their ‘facts’ unless they sign up first. Unlike Wikipedia (which they probably call, ‘wicked-pedia’ ha-ha).
“Sorry, Videos are not currently available in your country”
Fuckers. Dark age. FACT!!!
Of course there is always Landover Baptist..
Well they’re all – brace yourself for devastating rhyme-based wit – a bunch of Jeremys.
I’m expecting, yawn, endless variations of CON-servative and maybe Camer-WRONG.
Since this thread is sort of petering out and drifting on & off of topic, I thought I’d throw this piece of astute analysis, from CiF, of Obama’s latest speech into the mix…
The best part of Conservapedia is that once they’d re-typed all the bits of wikipedia they didn’t agree with, and included their anti liberal rhetoric, they realised they still have a great big encycolpedia to wirte.
I haven’t been on it in months, but the ‘football’ and ‘Northampton’ articles were so full of crap it made me gigle for ages.
@Ugeine:
The “football sports” and “Northampton” articles are still there today, and match your succinct description.
If Conservapedia made YouTube videos, they’d look like this but more self-important.
[Soz if I mucked up the link]
Apologies, my English and my sense of humour seems to be failing at the same time. I am worried about the lad at youthey.me.uk, I don’t see the funny in what he has posted, only illness and after 30 minutes of pondering the screen I haven’t found a way of saying this in an off-hand and amusing way. Now I am sad and I am late getting the dinner on
@Desertfish Good to see: And my favourite article is still running strong:
http://www.conservapedia.com/Atheism_and_Mass_Murder
Think of it this way…
His output is very very funny. Then you double up and the fact that he probably believes all this means that you go “wow”, and makes it less funny.
However, rest assured that if he’s so into his delusions, he’s probably already been picked up by mental health services and either refused treatment and not pushed because he wasn’t considered a danger – he says at one point that he’s on Income Support – or is currently in treatment that isn’t working.
The good thing about Sumon is that he doesn’t appear to be doing anyone any harm – unlike Vivian Lehman of madcowtourist.com, who, by her own admission has a long and serious history of harassing individuals.
@JC’s Chin
Firstly, thank you for not pointing out that my post ended up in the wrong thread – a cold feeling washed over me when I realised what had happened but after much thought I decided it would make matters worse to issue an apology, a la ‘blockquote fail’ and ‘obviously there should be a full stop at the end of that sentence’. In the end I opted to say nothing, because ‘it was the computer’s fault’ just sounds lame, even if it’s true, which it is, I swear.
Anyway. Poor Sumon. The view into his mind was too much for me, and I sincerely hope someone is looking after him. I also had a worry that reading what he had put out on the internet would make things worse for him – I know, I know, there is only a blinding headache at the end of that particular line of reasoning.
Obviously, I am still working on my tough-as-nails-if-you-think-that-is-shocking-have-a-look-at-this persona, and getting to grips with an internet that isn’t all about facebook and internet-banking and weekend break/hotel offers. I should probably take a look at that madcowtourist.com site as part of my conditioning/ desensitization programme. Thanks.