spEak You're bRanes

Credulous Nincompoops and Plain Weird25 Feb 2010 10:58 am

By Alex

Thanks to Tim. On the salaries of the stars of the BBC. One poster has managed to get his head round homosexuals not being able to reproduce, but seems to have misunderstood the term ‘clone’ and concluded that they’re all made in a big factory. Probably run by the Liberal Democrats in a field just outside San Francisco.

blastarrbxiii

And it isn’t like it’s a natural sex obsession either.
All part of the ‘drip drip’ perversity of the multi billion pound faggot industry.

I don’t think watersports get quite the audience you think, oatibix.

74 Responses to “The Wages of Sin”

on 25 Feb 2010 at 11:10 am Shackleton

It isn’t a natural sex obsession, whereas obsessively masturbating over images of women inserting M4 carbine rifles into their anuses is perfectly fine, and, frankly, to be encouraged.

But only if the gun has previously been used to murder a homosexual.

Or a black.
on 25 Feb 2010 at 11:30 am Rod Wrongnob

All part of the ‘drip drip’ perversity of the multi billion pound faggot industry.

Yeah, strapping us down and forcing their meaty offal and onion chunks down our throats.
on 25 Feb 2010 at 11:42 am Schroduck

I think blastarrbxiii got up to some drip-drip perversity himself while writing that comment. But don’t worry, fantasising about the big scary men in the “multi-billion pound faggot industry” is an entirely natural sex obsession, or so he tells himself.
on 25 Feb 2010 at 11:43 am Rotwatcher

It seems that someone at The Independent has had the taste and decency to remove wankarbxiii’s comment. Either that or I need new glasses.
on 25 Feb 2010 at 11:44 am Rod Wrongnob

Is “blastarrbxiii” some kind of pun on “Blaster Bates”? I do hope so.

Phippss comments on overmanning:

Why do they have to have four people to discuss a football match?

It’s a good point. If Ron Manager could do a whole discussion by himself, why pay for more than one person? Hmm?
on 25 Feb 2010 at 11:48 am Alan

He gets better –
http://sport.independentminds.livejournal.com/696615.html?thread=926503#t926503
on 25 Feb 2010 at 11:56 am Alex

That’s amazing. He actually considers the word ‘wannabe’ beneath him and writes it out in full.
on 25 Feb 2010 at 12:00 pm Schroduck

Incidentally, I’m not sure if commenters on the Indie’s site are real, or if they’re all elaborate bots created by the Indie to badmouth their rivals. I mean, even the Daily Mail site sees less anti-BBC froth than this, and at least the arguments there are halfway sane.

davidmichaelson

It is impossible to imagine the level of either hypocrisy or stupidity within the corridors of power at the BBC.

We have a quote being used in a news programme AFTER the so called watershed and the presenter is forced to apologise, yet in the so called comedy The Thick of It every other word is Fuck or Fucking and that is in its third series having been promoted from BBC4 to BBC2.

The absolute irony is that The Thick of It contains blatant bullying as well as all the anti pc ism’s that the BBC would never for one second allow in real life.

Poor old David Michaelson was very confused when no-one came to his badly run Torquay hotel and instead just called Trading Standards in on him. He hasn’t been the same since.
on 25 Feb 2010 at 12:04 pm Petpete

I have done a little investigation into Mr Brains’ Accounts and last year wasn’t very good.
There is no way the Faggot industry is a multi-billion pound concern. In fact, i wouldn’t be surprised if faggots ceased to exist after analysing their business projections.
blastarrbxiii seems as though he would be positively energised by a world without faggots.
on 25 Feb 2010 at 12:22 pm Silent Koala

the multi billion pound faggot industry

Does anyone know if they’re looking for staff?
on 25 Feb 2010 at 12:26 pm Massive Propagating Bee Extinction

Rotwatcher

It seems that someone at The Independent has had the taste and decency to remove wankarbxiii’s comment. Either that or I need new glasses.

No, this is what you’ll get when Rod Liddle takes over. I’ve got an op-ed on why Pakis are taking our jobs ready to send. I think they’re adjusting their market, and I’m ready to be the Indy’s Littlejohn.

I like this one though:

My Liscence Fee To The Sleeze Norton?

indy76 wrote:

The idea that my taxes are paid to a sex obbsessed emotionally retarded sicko like Norton makes me feel ill.

Ignorance, narcissism, stupidity, hypocrisy AND bad grammar! All in one fucking post. Do I win five pounds?

On a side note, I do like discussions about the licence fee, mainly because it’s fun to watch every fucker get the spelling wrong. There’s a VERB and a NOUN.
on 25 Feb 2010 at 12:31 pm Roeby

multi billion pound faggot industry

In my head I have this incredible vision of a production line of homosexuals of different guises. You’d have your ‘Young Urban Gay Professional’ standard line, the ‘Camp Old Queen’ classics range and a specialist workshop for one-off’s like our very own Pirate Pete.

As the conveyer belt trundles along, women in head-scarves and blue overalls would add the appropriate accessories, and white coated supervisors would move up and down the line rejecting those that weren’t ‘gay’ enough.

(Wow, this is good stuff, up with The David I reckon!)
on 25 Feb 2010 at 12:31 pm DJ

Well he’s not spelled either the verb or the noun correctly, and he’s misspelled sleaze and obsessed. And he’s a cunt.
on 25 Feb 2010 at 12:32 pm Cab Grunter

I would like to buy some shares in the “multi billion pound faggot industry”. It sounds quite lucrative in these uncertain economic times.

By the way, is “‘drip drip’ perversity” something to do with teabagging?
on 25 Feb 2010 at 12:46 pm Massive Propagating Bee Extinction

I don’t think we’re being fair to hansbiscuit, on reflection. I think the multi billion pound faggot industry he was refering to is this one.
on 25 Feb 2010 at 12:50 pm Adam

I wonder what the goals of the multi-billion pound faggot industry are?

I would imagine they use most of their clout lobbying for mandatory anal sex for all british males, but that’s just conjecture.
on 25 Feb 2010 at 12:59 pm Silent Koala

HOMOSEXUALS!?!?

I too thought we were discussing pork nuggets in rich gravy. Just what in the hell is going on round here?
on 25 Feb 2010 at 1:07 pm [NutterBrackets]

I’m not sure this new multi-billion pound faggot factory is proving to be a good investment, at least not to this reviewer on http://www.reviewcentre.com:

The original “BRAINS” faggots were entirely different from mr brains and bear no resemblance. It was a treat to walk or drive past the BRAINS factory on the outskirts of Bristol and savour the aroma. Tasteless and not worth the money. No good points, and my rating of 1 would have been lower if there was a way of doing it.

Perhaps it is doing better at the “drip drip perversity” stuff? Unfortunately this is proving difficult to measure due to the lack of an accepted metric.
on 25 Feb 2010 at 1:08 pm [NutterBrackets]

…Although I suppose I could use gravy.
on 25 Feb 2010 at 1:13 pm Silent Koala

I bought some “BRAINS” faggots and within hours my cubicle was literally festooned with jism.
on 25 Feb 2010 at 1:13 pm Pirate Pete

Well I originated in the land of ‘faggits and pays’ (the ones in gravy) but this production-line idea has really got me thinking – we could dominate the collectables industry with a whole host of miniature figures and associated accessories. We could have a ‘Graham Norton and Fleshlight accessory’figure, a John Barrowman doll (in greatcoat) whose member keeps flopping out of his trousers, a Dick Emery (with and without dress and handbag), a Kenneth Williams as Caesar, a Julian Clary and motorbike – the possibilities are endless!
on 25 Feb 2010 at 1:30 pm SoulBoy

Carrying on Pete’s theme…

Elton and a tube of lubri…. oh wait…
on 25 Feb 2010 at 1:32 pm That Bloke in the Corner

indy76 wrote:
….sex obbsessed emotionally retarded sicko ……

Pot’s and Kettle’s come to mind Indy76
on 25 Feb 2010 at 1:34 pm Have Your Lurk

Is it just me, or do Mr Brain’s Faggots look a tiny bit like, um, little brains?

(Cue weak jokes about a line of Mr Faggot’s Brains products, etc.)
on 25 Feb 2010 at 1:44 pm That Bloke in the Corner

do Mr Brain’s Faggots look a tiny bit like, um, little brains?

I always envisaged them as the severed testicles of Mr Brains secret faggot clone factory.
on 25 Feb 2010 at 1:47 pm dirigible

Some Random Cretin:

And it isn’t like it’s a natural sex obsession either.

Book say it am: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Biological-Exuberance-Homosexuality-Diversity-Stonewall/dp/031225377X

Alex:

One poster has managed to get his head round homosexuals not being able to reproduce

Well with each other, no, but I’ve met some really good gay and lesbian parents.

What do you mean, “point”?
on 25 Feb 2010 at 1:53 pm Throbbe

Why do they have to have four people to discuss a football match?

In fairness to Phippss, there are football punditry savings to be made without sacrificing quality. Ian Wright could be replaced with any excitable 6 year old of the producers choice, and Alan Shearer could be replaced with, well actually just the empty chair would offer equally insightful analysis.
on 25 Feb 2010 at 1:55 pm Have Your Lurk

“One poster has managed to get his head round homosexuals not being able to reproduce”

That’s one pretty swelled fucking head.
on 25 Feb 2010 at 2:06 pm DA PC BRIGADE

@SoulBoy- surely that should be Elton as a big gay Jesus?
on 25 Feb 2010 at 2:16 pm Ugeine

The absolute irony is that The Thick of It contains blatant bullying as well as all the anti pc ism’s that the BBC would never for one second allow in real life.

They have been broadcasting it for the last five years and have financed the film spin off. In my book, that counts as ‘allowing it’ in ‘real life’ Learn some common cocking sense, for Gods sake.
on 25 Feb 2010 at 2:26 pm Roeby

Alan Shearer could be replaced with, well actually just the empty chair would offer equally insightful analysis

Only if the chair was dressed in an extremely shiny, tight polycester suit with a pair of Brains faggots inside to mimic Alan’s testicals straining to be released.

@ Pirate Pete – In my factory, my gays are full sized and would come alive after quality checking (possibly at the trigger words of “Elton goes in dry..”) but I like your idea too. Although the BBC has beaten us to it with Barrowman in Doctor Who garb….as far as I am aware however, his memeber does not flop out quite so readily in their version.
on 25 Feb 2010 at 2:27 pm Roeby

or his ‘member’ even
on 25 Feb 2010 at 2:29 pm Have Your Lurk

@Roeby

They would “come alive”, eh? Fnarr, fnarr!
on 25 Feb 2010 at 3:17 pm Roeby

@ Have your Lurk

Once again, my innocent daydreams (i.e. of producing an army of well dressed, witty men or engaging in bath time fun with genital sea monsters) has been tarnished by your adolescent filth. Shame on you, sir. It’s people like you that have brought this once great nation to its knees.
on 25 Feb 2010 at 3:20 pm Souperman

“Shame on you, sir. It’s people like you that have brought this once great nation to its knees.”

Well said. Still, whilst the nation’s down there…
on 25 Feb 2010 at 3:44 pm SoulBoy

Off topic but about people going off topic. Is anyone keeping tally of all the knobs giving their resignation speeches to an expectant nation like this prat -

I was a regular reader of HYS and would visit all the HYS topics to read, comment, and recommend comments. But thanks to BBC for changing the HYS format, I would not be coming back here.

Bye Bye HYS!

I am keeping an eye on his profile http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/profile/?userid=14235415 and any others I notice to see who twitches first. You just know that despite throwing their toys out of their pram they are all still reading and inching ever closer to that Submit button as the righteous indignation builds up.

Perhaps there should be a prize for the first comeback kid, a George Foreman grill would seem appropriate. Anyone found a winner yet?
on 25 Feb 2010 at 4:00 pm Have Your Lurk

@Roeby

“…tarnished by your adolescent filth. Shame on you, sir. It’s people like you that have brought this once great nation to its knees.”

Thank you, sir/madam (delete as applicable). I do try my best.
on 25 Feb 2010 at 4:26 pm Petpete

This topic is steeped in irony, because not only is “faggot” a popular colloquialism for homosexuals, but also faggots feel really nice if you stuff them up your arse whilst cloning yourself.
on 25 Feb 2010 at 4:34 pm Have Your Lurk

That certainly explains the pounding sensation in my arse, Petpete. Thanks for sorting that out.
on 25 Feb 2010 at 4:36 pm Ceannair

Well said. Still, whilst the nation’s down there…

Genuine food/tea combo gushing monitor incident.

Well done sir/madam/noneofyourbusiness* (*delete as applicable)
on 25 Feb 2010 at 4:41 pm Roeby

faggots feel really nice if you stuff them up your arse whilst cloning yourself

Wouldn’t there be a danger that the result of such an experiment/entertainment would be a hideous human/meatball hybrid a la ‘The Fly’?
on 25 Feb 2010 at 5:01 pm Have Your Lurk

@Roeby

Damn, your post manages the amazing feat of being quite suggestive while at the same time defying any double meaning I might adolescently bring to bear on it. You’ve brought this once-proud poster to his knees. (BACK OFF!!! BACK OFF!!)
on 25 Feb 2010 at 5:03 pm That Bloke in the Corner

You’ve brought this once-proud poster to his knees.

Once again, while you are down there….
and easy on the faggots, it’s gravy or not at all.
on 25 Feb 2010 at 5:06 pm StealthBadger

What’s a Brains-Faggot?

Is that like Steven Fry?
on 25 Feb 2010 at 5:08 pm Theodore

I would like to know Elton John’s views on faggots. Gravy or not?
on 25 Feb 2010 at 5:13 pm Oaf

Perhaps there should be a prize for the first comeback kid, a George Foreman grill would seem appropriate. Anyone found a winner yet?

Or as was advertised in our local paper: For Sale – George Formby Grill.
on 25 Feb 2010 at 5:28 pm Petpete

The ‘George Formby Grill’ is actually a little-known sex position that results in groans of disappointment and “premature quickening”.
on 25 Feb 2010 at 5:32 pm Shackleton

The ‘George Formby Grill’ is actually a little-known sex position that results in groans of disappointment and “premature quickening”.

Isn’t that the Kadir-Buxton Position?
on 25 Feb 2010 at 5:38 pm Have Your Lurk

No, Kadir-Buxton doesn’t apply here because there are no fannies directly involved, you see.
on 25 Feb 2010 at 5:43 pm Shackleton

A gaping hole in his repertoire.

Oo-er.
on 25 Feb 2010 at 5:51 pm Petpete

Kadir-Buxton Arousal Techniques Part One:

Position you hand directly above the vagina, then begin to beat and pound the erogenous zone with all your might, whilst whimpering “Mummy! Why?!?!”

Orgasms guaranteed!*

*Kadir-Buxton cannot guarantee orgasms
on 25 Feb 2010 at 5:53 pm Mr Cat

Yea… thinking about blokes. and their smooth or hairy legs.

All bases covered then
on 25 Feb 2010 at 6:09 pm Scaryduck

I understand they’re recruiting. Bi now, gay later.

*bdum – tish!*
on 25 Feb 2010 at 6:21 pm Cab Grunter

Is the Gay Mafia the illegal armed wing of the Faggot Industry? You know, like the IRA and Sinn Fein?
on 25 Feb 2010 at 6:24 pm Cab Grunter

@Scaryduck

Bi one, get bum free … shurely?
on 25 Feb 2010 at 6:35 pm Ian Bumtrumpet

Wait wait wait… I’ve got something about Faggots (meaning Homsexuals) being the same word as Faggots (meaning the popular offal product)… it’s going to be a blinder!
on 25 Feb 2010 at 6:49 pm Have Your Lurk

@Ian Bumtrumpet

I’ll have you know that there’s nothing but prime, firm young meat from the haunches of hand-reared animals in Mr. Brain’s faggots, sir. Just look at the way the gravy drips off it, like sweat rolling down the buttock of an Olympic swimmer.
on 25 Feb 2010 at 7:16 pm Bugrat

Wouldn’t there be a danger that the result of such an experiment/entertainment would be a hideous human/meatball hybrid a la ‘The Fly’?

You’ve probably just given Cuger Brant an idea for the central theme of his next book..
on 25 Feb 2010 at 7:54 pm funny peculiar

The billion dollar gay food industry is not limited to faggots. If you read The Protocols of The Benders of Zion, you’ll discover vile plans to take over both the media and food industry. These disgusting perverts are determined to force their cum-soaked products into your mouth. If you ate a muffin recently, it’s highly likely it was a Spunkmeyer Muffin. Don’t ask how they make the batter.
on 25 Feb 2010 at 8:24 pm Bit Special AKA La Spesh

I wonder if the Gay Daleks like Brains Faggots? They’re my go-to guys on all things homosessuale. ‘Bad Wolf’ is actually how they refer to wolfbagging. Trufax!

(Possibly)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AWiq-0rf_bA
on 25 Feb 2010 at 10:13 pm Massive Propagating Bee Extinction

Of course, the biggest part of the multi billion pound faggot industry is mince…

…faggots are mostly mince, you know.
on 25 Feb 2010 at 10:21 pm Have Your Lurk

@funny peculiar

I can’t resist. How do they make the batter?
on 25 Feb 2010 at 10:39 pm jpr

Yea… thinking about blokes. and their smooth or hairy legs.

All bases covered then

Being one of the world’s laziest trannies, mine are both; I look like I’m wearing furry shorts at the moment.
on 26 Feb 2010 at 12:41 am Mesostim

Not on topic I know but after reading this I had to share… See the attempt to be reasonable and sedate… the slight straw grab to keep the precious “recommended feature”… the slow descent into paranoia, the seizing of World Wars to express the full feeling of treachery (people died in their millions for a recommended tab ffs) and finally full on mental bollocks Dalek ranting.

I agree with James Rigby that the ‘recommended’ feature should be kept and ways to eliminate multiple voting should be found, as it IS a good way of judging the mood of the forum. Also, it would be good if the moderators could butt-out from shaping the mood of the forum as they tend to reject views that are contrary to what they’d like to hear, or leave a post “awaiting moderation” until the topic is closed.
Our fathers and grand-fathers fought in wars so that we could have free speech, not so that the BBC get’s idea’s above it’s station as to what views can and can’t be expressed on their forums.
JUST REMEMBER THIS BBC, WE are the license payers! WE pay YOUR wages. You are OUR servants AND YOU’D DO WELL TO REMEMBER THAT!
on 26 Feb 2010 at 2:04 am jpr

Not on topic I know but after reading this I had to share… See the attempt to be reasonable and sedate… the slight straw grab to keep the precious “recommended feature”… the slow descent into paranoia, the seizing of World Wars to express the full feeling of treachery (people died in their millions for a recommended tab ffs) and finally full on mental bollocks Dalek ranting.

There’s also a magnificent bumper crop of misplaced apostrophes just before the Dalek bit. Class.
on 26 Feb 2010 at 2:34 am Mal

JUST REMEMBER THIS BBC, WE are the license payers! WE pay YOUR wages. You are OUR servants AND YOU’D DO WELL TO REMEMBER THAT!

Now BBC, polish my shoes, lay out my suit for the morning and I’ll take breakfast at nine. Oh yes and you can continue to moderate the fuck out of these twatbaskets. Got that?
on 26 Feb 2010 at 8:42 am Grov

I always thought the Gays were careful about their diet…
on 26 Feb 2010 at 9:19 am Roeby

@ Bugrat – it would be an honour.

Cuger, if you’re lurking, I would be happy to ‘ghost write’ such a story for you for a reasonable fee. I have a spare 20 minutes this lunchtime, should be able to bang something out. For a packet of Maltesers and a Diet Coke, I will also pen an additional novella recounting the catastrophic repercussions of mass-assembling gay-bots in a factory outside Tunbridge Wells.
on 26 Feb 2010 at 9:51 am Have Your Lurk

@Roeby

“Bang something out”, eh? Fnarr, fn(that’s enough taking the piss out of Roeby, do it one more time and you’re banned – Ed)
on 26 Feb 2010 at 10:59 am Not Waving But Drinking

Well Sir Cunt-A-Lot, sorry Mr blastarrbxiii, won’t be pleased to hear that according to CNBC, the Multi Billion Pound Faggot Industry UK (MBFI) has just increased it’s share of the Multi Trillion Pound Straight Industry (MTPSI) to 8% through a surprise takeover of ‘Hotter Shoes’.

Greggs (The Home of Fresh Baking) is said to be worried.

more updates as the market changes
on 26 Feb 2010 at 11:06 am George Formby Grill

“Turned Out Shite Again!”

For those that haven’t seen it.
on 26 Feb 2010 at 11:11 am john Adair's Gerbil

@jpr

I’ve got Diet Irn-Bru in my nostrils now.

On the basis that the MOD works for me, I went to the local barracks and took a tank for a drive.

I got 6 months and 9 points on my licence.

It’s one rule for trained miltary personnel and one rule for drunken gerbils.
on 26 Feb 2010 at 2:21 pm Ugly Newt

Hope I’ve not missed the faggots-and-gravy train with this one…

Richard Szenk’s succinct nugget of thinkdung from the “Won’t somebody think of my children’s porn collection?” thread diverts unexpectedly through anti-gay tinfoil hat land on its way between “couldn’t make [stuff I just made up] up” and defending racism.

So what are the government going to do? Ban lads mags with pictures of
boobs, tone down the adverts? And yet it is perfectly acceptable to
teach children about homosexual relationships.

And people call the BNP fascists? Absolute madness.
on 28 Feb 2010 at 2:01 pm Oaf

When I complained about an art exhibition on teh Streets of Liverpool geaturing full colour photographs of a neked womans crotch some of the few people supporting those pictures being displayed in public used the argument “It is the 21st century you know”.

Damn!! Missed that one!

"If you love Syria so much..
why don't you go live there?"

74 Responses to “The Wages of Sin”

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spEak You're bRanes

"If you love Syria so much.. why don't you go live there?"

74 Responses to “The Wages of Sin”

About

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"If you love Syria so much..
why don't you go live there?"