Thanks to Richard. Sikhs, knives, brown people, shiny shiny blade turban Islam AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! By which I do of course mean “should Sikhs wear Kirpan daggers in public?”
A simple no.
How quickly we forget Dunblaine.
Think on all those that are carping on about diversity and respecting of others faiths.
I prefer the old fashioned when in Rome do as the Romans.
Lee, Hereford
Yeah well Lee, we’re not in Rome, are we? Or the first century AD. We’re in Britain, and we do things our way here. None of that do as in Rome shit. In Britain, the saying goes: “When in Hereford, speak in bollocks affected platitudes in a doomed attempt to appear profound, while forgetting pretty much everything about the actual event you’re plundering for a cheap shot of poignancy, except that it happened in a school and you didn’t like it”. You’re doing fine though. Don’t change a thing.
World gone backwards
If shiks shoul wear knives then we should wear guns like our cowboy days
Dash, London
Funny you should bring that up. My dad’s been looking into the family tree, turns out my great, great grandad used to have a cattle-ranch just near Hackney. Eventually died in a shoot-out at the Kensington and Chelsea Corral, helping the Pearly Sheriff track down a jellied-eel rustler.
Why don’t we all carry knives or daggers?
martin, loiri
I wasn’t sure whether to interpret this as sarcasm or a genuine question from a bewildered enquiring mind. So instead I’m reading it as an enthusiastic suggestion for a rainy afternoon.
78 Responses to “Oh Do Let’s!”
Why don’t we all carry Sikhs?
At what point will the madness end?
If sikhs can carry daggers, will Jews be allowed Phased Plasma Rifles in the 40 Watt range?????
Will you stop kirpin on about this? It’s making me Sikh.
(Sorry. I know, cheap, puerile etc., but it’s this forum or work.)
And since I’m Irish, can I carry 10 lb of Semtex in my gym holdall?
I am of a similar green hue and asked the question once (on the Kirpan issue), “if they can carry a dagger why can’t I carry an Armalite ?”
Fair point if you ask me!
Especially its correct spelling.
@Ceannair
Jesus, actually as soon as I posted that I thought I’d really let myself in for it. God knows who in here might have lost a relative or friend in the 1980s etc. etc.
Apart from the rather obvious collateral differences between a ceremonial sword and a ceremonial block of Semtex, it is actually a fair point. Hence, I have just proved that Sikhs should not be allowed to carry around dangerous pointy weapons in public. QED.
If Thomas Hamilton carried out the Dunblane massacre with a kirpan, why did the government subsequently ban handguns? Will no-one think of the children?
What a bunch of dirks.
Fortunately, no-one seems to have worked out legislation specifically allows people wearing the national dress of Scotland to carry a Sgian Dubh.
Dun Blaine? didn’t he spend a few nights in a box suspended over the Thames? If I’m right.
Shh – I was counting on the element of surprise.
Play the racist card? I wouldn’t bring a card to a knife-fight if I were you.
And yes, Eckyboo, you can carry a Dirk as long as I can (being English, not British) – as part of my heritage – come north of the boarder and clear you and your family off the land and claim it as my own.
Speaking of ornamental weapons – did you realise that CBeebies is deliberately poisoning young minds with warlike Japanese flags? Oh, and upsetting Prisoners of War, too. Shameful.
When you think about it, allowing the Sikhs to go around with daggers gives everyone licence to do absolutely anything, as long as they’ve done it more than once in the past.
Well then, to the Falklands with us!
Wow. Thanks Hilhunt, that mad old pensioner has some excellently clippable stuff.
“The recent assassination of a Hammas terrorist arms dealer in Dubai has my full approval … How many people do you need to carry out a killing like this. I know James Bond would manage single handed”
Um. Where to begin? James Bond is a fictional character; the Hammas guy who got offed in Dubai actually existed. I think we have a media-reality-mind-meld here that could give Buxton-Kadir a run for his money.
What about ceremonially *not* wearing anything under yer kilt? Probably against health and safety laws. No doubt ZANULabour want us all to wear itchy, tight briefs with European measurements…
The turbans worry me. Have you seen how long they are?
If they were to unwind their turban, then tie one end to a lamp post about four feet off the ground, then cross the road and tie the other end to another lampost whilst pulling the turban tight, then this would cause a deadly hazard to motorcycle riders (and sidecar passengers). They could take someone’s head off!
Ban this menace now. When in Rome, don’t wear a turban. That’s what I say.
@Shackleton
I said MORE THAN ONCE!
@Have your Lurk
The British did conquer the Falklands in the first place. Back during the Seven Years War or something.
Though I doubt if the local wildlife put up much of a fight then seeing as the Exocet hadn’t made it to the South Atlantic at that point, and anyway I’m fairly sure you can’t fire one with a flipper. So perhaps it doesn’t qualify.
As a Cornishman, I am legally entitled to carry a pasty and up to 8oz of clotted cream. They may not be as swift as a dagger but are equally lethal in the end*.
*Either end that is.
We need the sikhs with daggers to protect us against the gay mafia enforcing the whims of the faggot industry. wake up people!
That old age pensioner who likes assassinations (when carried out by James Bond) and dislikes children’s programs full of genuine Imperialist Japanese propaganda is great fun (english-pensioner.blogspot.com).
Nice comment left underneath the section on assassination.
“Maturecheese said…
Assassinating Stalin in 1922 might have saved even more people than Hitler killed. The downside to this is, if something like 32 million people had been saved, what would the world population be now?”
Beneath that calm and logical exterior, Maturecheese is clearly utterly, utterly deranged. That kind of guy that buys slipper-socks and nails ducklings to the wall.
I can’t think of a single radio station run by the BBC that is aimed at a mainly white english demographic.
That is, except for radio 1, 2, 3 and 4, radio 5 live, 6music and 7.
@Richard Littlejohn’s Funny Bone
What I love about that selective assassination thread is that both the blogger and his commenters have entirely failed to grasp the fact that there is actually no official international assassins’ guild (and presumably that it would only assassinate people who would go on to kill millions).
It’s really quite breathtaking, as you say. I mean, these are adults, they’ve probably had children, they qualified for driving licences, that sort of thing.
@Donald where’s yer troosers
Conquering uninhabited islands definitely does not count!
@ Have Your Lurk
These are adults indeed. When discussing Japanese war propaganda on children’s television, English Pensioner notes “I was sitting with my grandson”.
Never has such a nice sentence been so depressing. This is just above the entry discussing tactics on how to go about killing off Hamas members and blaming it on “some Arab country”.
This gentlemen has procreated. And his procreations have procreated.
As a scouser I am legaly entitled to carry shells-uits in public.
Sorry don’t even own a coat…
@Richard Littlejohn’s Funny Bone
It’s the retroactive, hindsight-motivated assassination philosophy that has me doubled up here at my desk. I mean, time-travel apart, just where do you draw the line? If you rub out all the mega-dictators, then there’ll be a public outcry that small-time dictators should be assassinated as well. Then you move on down to failed revolutionaries and serial killers. Before you know it, anyone who’s ever killed more than one person will be assassinated at birth. And by definition, that includes the assassins themselves, who of course will sportingly commit suicide just as soon as they’ve denuded the planet of the entire human population.
..and what about Archduke Franz Ferdinand eh?..eh? Thousands if not millions of lives could have been saved in the past if some assassin had…ah..erm..
@ Lell, that’s ok, there’s a pile of bright fluroscent flamable nylon windcheaters & a couple of curly perm wigs by the door, feel free to help your self as you leave.
I’ll be fine.
From the comments on the Pensioner Blogspot (http://opinionbeyondeducation.blogspot.com/2010/02/cbeebies-still-fighting-ww2-for-japs.html):
“Jesus Chris said…
Hurray for Blogspot. I mean, fucking hurray for Blogspot.
I’m forwarding that post to Mossad, just so they know some fucknugget pensioner who went to grammar school has their full fucking approval.”
@readers of the assassination thread
It’s what he doesn’t say that’s so revealing. All of the candidates for assassination are conveniently foreign… he seems not to have considered the possibility that foreign nations might have their own assassination programmes.
I know, this is all obvious to everyone who’s popped over there and read his thread. It’s just the utter, barefaced arrogance of it, and the fact that he’s not even aware of being arrogant, and that if you pointed it out to him, well, don’t be surprised if you end up on his Christmas assassination list.
My last post on assassinations. Promise.
“I just look forward to a real Mossad assassination in Iran which could avoid yet another major conflict.”
Unfortunately this excellent wheeze will never occur to Mossad, because the pensioner can’t even spell his labels right. This one is filed under “ISREAL”.
That’s THE Mossad to you, pal. Refer to them without the correct article again at your own peril. They kill for less.
Me too – tonight I am attending an orgy and intend to quaff wine and eat dormouse until I puke.
I was given one of those “become a Scottish lord” kits by a friend who either wants me to be able to carry a sword in public or wants me in a trench when the revolution comes. One or the other.
But remember, kids, the knife will be used against you. So while it’s cool to support religious privilege in schools, you’re actually supporting BNP yoof knifecrimers.
Q.E.D.
@Lurker in a Burka
That’s got to be one big dormouse
@Fuzzball
It’s a common orgy euphemism. I’m also going to polish tables until the cows come home.
Oooh yeah.
Polish Tables sounds like an East European furniture shop…
Keep it, I don’t deserve it. I’ll face the rain like a man.
Bloody Polish tables, coming over here and holding our stuff off the ground. Can’t they see our living rooms are full up?
I am also from Hereford and should advise you that possessing both the ability to turn on a computer AND read, puts Lee in the uber-elite of Herefordian intellectual life. I imagine his nickname down the Kerry Arms is ‘prof’.
I too (three?) am from Hereford and think Lee might actually believe that Hereford is in fact Rome and everyone else is deluded, as evidenced by him ranting in high town about the end of the world.
or he’s the hobo with one massive dreadlock.
Oh, and
“When in Hereford, speak in bollocks affected platitudes in a doomed attempt to appear profound, while forgetting pretty much everything about the actual event you’re plundering for a cheap shot of poignancy, except that it happened in a school and you didn’t like it”
is actually carved into the paving of the main street in Hereford.
And as a witty repartee: Leeius est a cuntius. or some bollocks.
Sorry to thread hijack, but I just found this on the ol’ shitting bumwank, and thought it was too good to pass up:
Sure, one of them completely contradicts the other, one was a satire on an existing society and the other was a dark comedy, but society is becoming like all of them. At the same time.
Also, from the same article, a regular twat:
I like the idea that the CIA can’t type “http://www.google.com/maps” into their browser, and have to download all the photos manually. But where does the multi-billion pound faggot industry come into all this?
If you like Rome so much why don’t you go live there?
*sorry, had to be done*
You could have italicised the right parts. The sarcasm just doesn’t come through properly if it’s not hurray for Blogspot.
In my defence, I read that post all the way through and managed not to commit seppuku at the end of it – after, indeed, he’d managed to spell Hamas with two m’s all the way through, and insisted that if the Israelis (who he doesn’t believe had anything to do with it anyway) had any sense, they could have done it with one person dressed as an Arab woman. Like James Bond.
I’m sure his reference to James Bond was an attempt at humour, but because the rest of it is so fucking Walter Mitty tragic, I’m not willing to bet even 10c on that.
I’m all for targeted assassinations*.
*Apart from the Russians poisoning people with polonium-210 in London and Skynet sending Terminators back to take out various members of the Connor family.
NB: As a Starfleet officer I get to carry my phaser and toupé on away missions to ancient Rome.
Captain Darling: So you see, Blackadder, Field Marshall Haig is most anxious to eliminate all these German spies.
General Melchett: Filthy hun weasels, fighting their dirty underhand war!
Captain Darling: And fortunately, one of our spies…
General Melchett: Splendid fellows, brave heroes risking life and limb for Blighty!
Share this quote
Apart from the “share this quote”, obviously…
Cut&paste Fail.
@Cab Grunter
That clearly added just a little more to the original.
I was wondering when Hereford would make it onto SYB; it was only a matter of time. I believe that ‘Lee’ is, in fact, ‘Barry the Tramp’, who hangs around by the Cathedral holding a sock puppet conversation between his talking hands. Or he could be a member of Mott The Hoople.
PS When in Hereford, call everyone ‘me shag’, go to Soap Saturdays @ Dusk, puke in the graveyard opposite, abuse some Eastern European casual workers and, at the end of the night, head straight to Sun Valley for some chicken plucking.
@Schroduck:
I couldn’t help googling “the CIA and Google” and I came up with something that frankly took my breath away.
Not only is this site so Jesus bonkers that I’m not convinved it’s not a spoof, but it also has the best domain name ever:
…My name is Marco Antonio Ponce….
That Ponce, he loves Jesus, but he hates Jews.
@Massive Propagating Bee Extinction
Bless you and your socks, be they cotton, mimetic polyalloy, or otherwise.
@Init Doe
I went to college with a bloke whose stepdad was in Mott the Hoople. He drove a Volvo but still had long hair. Rock on.
@ Nutterbrackets and all – check the warning in capital letters at the bottom of Marcoponce’s second link – this one is a real fruitloop. And I quote:
Who’d have thunk it?
A chain of links from Ponce’s website led to this..
http://www.powervapor.com/
The USB electric cigarette. “..this custom Electric cigarette runs power directly from your USB port on your computer.”
Woot!
I haven’t even gone onto that site (yet), but:
BE WATCHFUL FOR DEMONS TRYING TO POSE AS EXTRATERRESTRIAL ALIENS
Is abso-fucking-lutely fantastic.
Run that by me again Ponce…if I come across an extraterrestrial alien, the first thing I should be wary about is that it might be a demon in disguise? Is there some sort of vetting method to check?
Clearly the operation didn’t remove my entire sense of humour, because I actually guffawed at that capitalized lunacy. Yes. Guffawed.
Marco Ponce commenting on Obama calling Kanye West a jackass:
“Don’t forget, Obama is a closet homosexual, smokes crack and worships Lucifer with his 33rd degree princehall freemason counterparts.
ALL OF THEM ARE WICKED GODLESS JACKASSES IN MY OPINION AND WILL SURELY FIND THEMSELVES IN THE LAKE OF FIRE UNLESS THEY REPENT.
Spoof? I can only hope.
Replying to some nonce-sense from “wolveshater” (nice to see that West Brom fans can also be mentalists) about reptile men and earthquake machines and so on a thread that finally nails the question: what does the Bible say about UFOs?, Ponce gives us this insignt:
So, aliens (demons) are grasshopper men. I think. We should perhaps ask Aristotle for clarification, or another of those “SCIENTISTS”.
I saw this on the BBC once, a documentary called, “Quatermass and the pit”. It’s probably been censored by now.
Many thanks.
Next time I’m in Hereford I’ll be sure to address everyone as “me shag”.
Does it work in Leominster, in case I don’t manage Hereford?
I think Leominster folk would just nod sagely and agree with you, they all seem to know each other in the biblical sense, anyway.
“UNTIL THEN SEEK JESUS BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE AND BE WATCHFUL FOR DEMONS TRYING TO POSE AS EXTRATERRESTRIAL ALIENS”
Wowwwwww. I can just imagine the scene.
Person 1: Oh no, we’re being invaded by extraterrestrial aliens! They may really be demons in disguise!
Person 2: No, it’s OK, I think they really are extraterrestrial aliens.
Person 1: Oh, well, that’s all right then.
I think even David Icke would find this Ponce guy a bit weird.
Not to mention the redundancy of “extraterrestrial” in “extraterrestrial aliens”. You know, as opposed to demons disguised as illegal aliens.
actually, in Leominster the technical term of reference for others is ‘cuz’. mostly in a literal biological sense.
You do have to respect Marco Ponce’s dedication to the works of the Lord, that obliges him to spend hour after hour on detailed viewing of videos of young ladies wearing very few clothes, in order to provide proof of his theories that Beyoncé and Lady Gaga are both in the front line of the forces of Lucifer.
…bollocks did a big post there, it done gone to shit…
Reading the comments on the Lady GaGa is a Witch! thing, then despite Ponce being a respected source for many mentalists, the occult mentalist community has risen up and accused him of being “anti-merikun” for having a go at the good’ol witches.
Excuse me if I didn’t read anymore comments that may contradict this assumption – I am now oiling the revolver and drinking my last glass of single malt.
Has Ponce Marco ascertained if Lady GaGa weighs more than a duck though?
And, as ane fule kno, the eye and pyramid on the US Great Seal shows the Founding Fathers were Masons or Illuminati or something.
The eye on the pyramid simply shows us that Stargate Command are keeping tabs on the System Lords, especially Ra. Either that or Ewan McGregor is stealing antimatter to power his next
motorbike indulgence.
For a jesus nutter that ponce is well versed in the occult
well of course. this guy thinks lady gaga is a closet homosexual riding a triangle with grasshoppers. that’s clearly utterly insane: he’s just a freemason lizard. anyone can see that.
“My worry isnt the Sihk’s carrying this as a ceremonial/ religios part of clothing….hasn’t caused any problems in the past….unlikely to cause any problems in the future.
My worry is that others will abuse and use this ‘loop hole’ in the law to justify carrying a knife, or indeed avoid any reprocussions of carrying one by claiming religious purpose.
Is this realistic? Do we have something in place to stop this being abused?
Thunderpants, Looondon ”
That thunderpants, what a racist twat nuggett.