Permanently Bewildered and Plain Weird and Racists and Unfocused Rage08 Mar 2010 01:41 pm
By Alex

Thanks to Frankie. I like this comment. It makes you realise how hard it must be for BNP supporters who end up being inexplicably quite bright. They get good A-Levels, go to University, maybe quite a good one. They do of course, study ENGLISH, and suddenly, instead of the extreme-right circle-jerk they hung around in before, they’re in a hotbed of radical liberalism being forced to read books and think about stuff. This is how I imagine these poor smug tossers’ dreams sound after a term and a half juggling paranoid racist fantasies with literary theory lectures.

Dan Oxford wrote:
Destroy your own culture through political correctness, Frnkfurt school inspired Marxist deconstructing and undermining, along with post- colonial guilt, encourage a policy of mass immigration from areas of war and tribal violence, cover up any reference to a likely increase in crime, allow the cultural vaccuum to be filled with money, violence and sex based US ‘street culture’= explosion of tribal gang violence and gang rape. I feel ‘enriched’ already…

Unfortunately Dan, I’m afraid I can only give you a C for this, as you forgot to mention Russian formalists, an influential circle of Viennese psychoanalysts or French radical lesbians.

109 Responses to “To what extent are you being indoctrinated with multiculturalism by far-left professors? Discuss with reference to at least ONE racial stereotype.”

  1. on 08 Mar 2010 at 2:13 pm RT

    Ironically (is it ironic?), criticism of the Frankfurt School generally comes from right-wing commentators in the US; the obsession with “political correctness” as well. So long as it’s not US “Street” culture, I guess it’s OK. (Incidentally, check out MC Marcuse and DJ Habermas’ classic joint “Zeitschrift to tha Sozialforschung” – it’s on the classic “Straight Outta Frankfut-am-Main”)

  2. on 08 Mar 2010 at 2:22 pm sinisterpenguin

    you feel enriched because you’ve just been gang raped by a tribe x

  3. on 08 Mar 2010 at 2:44 pm Mr Cat

    Exactly the same statement but from the other end of the Academic spectrum

    Robert G wrote:
    Both my Grandfathers fought the bosh for this? Where and how did this country go SO wrong?

  4. on 08 Mar 2010 at 2:49 pm Have Your Lurk

    Bosh apparently stands for Bidirectional-streams Over Synchronous HTTP. Oh, no, wait, this is WWII, right? Then it must be “a cylinder inside the furnace where the raw ingredients were mixed and melted” (see http://www.centrecountyhistory.org/iron/glossary.html). If both his grandfathers got the amazing idea of fighting this, then it actually explains quite a lot two generations down the line.

  5. on 08 Mar 2010 at 2:55 pm Pirate Pete

    I thought the spelling was Bosch? [pictures german washing machines lurching into battle...]

    Anyway, another day, another stream of incoherent verbal diarrhea from the tossers on HYS (who by the way, were spoofed on Radio 4′s Friday Night Comedy podcast again… _

  6. on 08 Mar 2010 at 2:56 pm Philbert

    Bosh apparently stands for Bidirectional-streams Over Synchronous HTTP. Oh, no, wait, this is WWII, right? Then it must be “a cylinder inside the furnace where the raw ingredients were mixed and melted” (see http://www.centrecountyhistory.org/iron/glossary.html). If both his grandfathers got the amazing idea of fighting this, then it actually explains quite a lot two generations down the line.

    No, no, no – his grandfathers both fought against Chris Bosh, power forward for the Toronto Raptors (thanks Wikipedia).

  7. on 08 Mar 2010 at 3:02 pm That Bloke in the Corner

    Both my Grandfathers fought the bosh for this?

    Surely this is a type-o and should read the Boosh?

  8. on 08 Mar 2010 at 3:04 pm That Bloke in the Corner

    Dan Oxford wrote:
    Destroy your own culture through political correctness,

    Feel free Dan, I like my own culture, but if you want to destroy yours, who am I to stop you?
    It would be political correctness gone mad for me to try.

  9. on 08 Mar 2010 at 3:15 pm Kelvin

    Both my Grandfathers fought the bosh for this?

    Surely this is a type-o and should read the Boosh?

    No, it should be Bosch. Nasty accident with a hedge trimmer at the old folk’s home last weekend.

  10. on 08 Mar 2010 at 3:23 pm ad ho

    He might have been cribbing from this steaming dollop. (Discovered when some twerp pasted snippets in a comment (which I can’t be arsed to find) to prove that Gordon Brown has deliberately destroyed the country under direction from the Frankfurt School).

  11. on 08 Mar 2010 at 3:34 pm Kelvin

    “Conspiracy to corrupt” pretty well describes The Vatican these days, doesn’t it?

  12. on 08 Mar 2010 at 3:43 pm My Pockets Hurt

    I thought it was “Boche”. His grandfathers fought the Germans so he could refer to them using a derogatory French word. That’s multiculturalism for you.

  13. on 08 Mar 2010 at 3:59 pm Shackleton

    I love that he’s got a bluetooth headset in his ears and smartphone in his hands while enjoying a room and medical care by the taxpayers.
    Butta Fooco

    I love that you’re so racist you’ve mistaken the subject of the piece with the friend he’s visiting, which, even if you do have trouble differentiating between all those pesky blacks, is neatly explained in the photo’s caption: “Vipoh visits his friend Kadeem in hospital after his stabbing.”

  14. on 08 Mar 2010 at 4:00 pm That Bloke in the Corner

    Gordon Brown has deliberately destroyed the country under direction from the Frankfurt School

    Why can’t Gordy get direction from a good old fashioned Ingerlish Secondary Modern, surely we can destroy our own country with direction from St Twatbaskets, Tunbridge Wells?

  15. on 08 Mar 2010 at 4:06 pm Roeby

    No, it should be Bosch.

    Let’s go one better with ‘the Borsch’. Robert’s grandparents fought for the right to eat Cream of Tomato goddamnit, not Commie root vegetable rubbish.

  16. on 08 Mar 2010 at 4:14 pm Have Your Lurk

    Maybe it was The Boss they were fighting? It’s just chronologically possible that his grandfathers were Bruce Springsteen’s first critics.

  17. on 08 Mar 2010 at 4:17 pm Mirelurk

    His grandfather fought ‘Photogenic’ Chris Bosh, three-times winner of the PWG World Tag Team Championship? Respect.

    Any more for any more, or shall we call it a day?

  18. on 08 Mar 2010 at 4:38 pm Loumo

    It reads a lot like something off “Generation Terrorists” if the Manics had been rightwing nutjobs instead of nihilist sluts. I reckon you could fit most of it to either Motorcycle Emptiness or Slash’n'Burn.

  19. on 08 Mar 2010 at 4:40 pm ad ho

    @That bloke
    I think St Twatbaskets would be considered close affiliates of the Frankfurt School if, say, they had a dinnerlady on the pill or something.

    @Kelvin
    Agreed. But if ordering rent boys like they’re pizzas was not part of the corruption charges, then what else has his holiness’ gentleman been up to?

    And er both grandfathers used the phrase “bish bash bosh” to describe the process of conception and attempted the rhythm method to avoid having any twatty grandchildren.

  20. on 08 Mar 2010 at 4:43 pm Mr Cat

    It reads a lot like something off “Generation Terrorists” if the Manics had been rightwing nutjobs instead of nihilist sluts. I reckon you could fit most of it to either Motorcycle Emptiness or Slash’n’Burn.

    Brilliant – I’m running Dan Oxford through in James Dean Bradfields voice. Although I’m thinking more Holy Bible than Generation Terrorist.

  21. on 08 Mar 2010 at 4:43 pm Mr Cat

    like P.C.P.

  22. on 08 Mar 2010 at 4:44 pm Jones

    I find it curious that he chose to economize by cutting “Frankfurt” down to “Frnkfurt”. He could have easily left out the entire post and still made his point. Still, it might not be the letter count that’s behind it, just US ‘street culture’.

  23. on 08 Mar 2010 at 4:46 pm Philbert

    OK, perhaps it was early Dutch Master and painter of the fantastical Hieronymus Bosch that his grandfathers fought.

  24. on 08 Mar 2010 at 4:48 pm Loumo

    @Mr Cat: Good point, I’d forgotten about PCP. Revol’d nearly do and all. They’d more or less learnt to scan and had more of a tendency towards full sentences by “The Holy Bible”, but PCP’s definitely it.

  25. on 08 Mar 2010 at 4:53 pm Philbert

    Actually, this is something I’ve often wondered about: do humanities students really get indoctrinated into leftist conspiracies directed at the overthrow of Western civilisation, or is it all a load of paranoid bollocks? I have to ask because I studied chemistry, you see, so all my lectures were about things like how to avoid melting your face off with hydrofluoric acid, rather than the best way to ensure that foreign commies take over.

  26. on 08 Mar 2010 at 5:05 pm Have Your Lurk

    @Philbert:

    Yes. Absolutely they do. (Although home-grown commies would be acceptable in a pinch.)

    There is always a prevailing consensus, even if it’s being right-on and equality-for-all. A few years ago it was the done thing to say you wanted to “work with people” (unless your chosen career was pathology).

    What defence does the modern man have when his wife invites him to spend more time together and to generally share and enjoy? I call it “the tyranny of having a good time”. (Not thinking of any wife in particular here, of course.)

  27. on 08 Mar 2010 at 5:06 pm Cheb Ghobbi

    My grandparents fought the Borg only to be sent back in time through some sort of temporal anomaly and have a grandson who had to put up with this?

  28. on 08 Mar 2010 at 5:37 pm Have Your Lurk

    Getting a little off topic here, but HYS currently has a humdinger of a debate.

    “Is access to the internet a fundamental human right?”

    The poll headline adds:

    Nearly four in five people around the world believe that access to the internet is a fundamental right, a poll for the BBC World Service suggests.

    Guess what Mike from Brum has to say:

    I’m guessing that for every four people who say it is, there’ll be one that says it isn’t.

    Check out the brains on Mike!

  29. on 08 Mar 2010 at 5:57 pm Shackleton

    Mike is still grinning about that. In fact, I can imagine he’s currently telling people about it in the kitchen at work, but they’re finding it difficult to concentrate on his hilarious anecdote as his rancid breath that smells like a little bit of detritus excavated from the molar of a porn star after a particularly ‘guzzling’ scene is putting them off both his story and their afternoon biccy.

  30. on 08 Mar 2010 at 5:57 pm The Mighty Bish

    @ Cheb Ghobbi – bugger. You beat me to it, except my Borg was going to involve tennis rackets and underwear, and as such didn’t need the somewhat tenuous “temporal anomaly”.
    Erm, have we done “Bush” yet?

  31. on 08 Mar 2010 at 5:58 pm Stoof

    Maybe Robert G’s grandfathers led a Lightning League to victory over the changing form of Saw Boss?

  32. on 08 Mar 2010 at 6:08 pm Ugly Newt

    do humanities students really get indoctrinated into
    leftist conspiracies directed at the overthrow of Western
    civilisation, or is it all a load of paranoid
    bollocks?

    This may be the case. I did engineering, and a friend of mine
    doing humanities was surprised to learn that “how not to be an
    oppressive wanker” wasn’t on my reading list.

  33. on 08 Mar 2010 at 6:22 pm Cab Grunter

    My grandfathers fought the bush and invented brazilians.

  34. on 08 Mar 2010 at 6:26 pm Have Your Lurk

    I studied IT and linguistics (not at the same time), and believe me, if by the end of the linguistics degree you weren’t championing the cause of the last three speakers of some obscure fucking creole descended from Basque and Soiux, you just weren’t kosher. (Which proves it was a gigantic Jewish conspiracy, of course.)

    Also, absolutely every language on the planet is utterly equal to every other language on the planet. That is the International Axiomatic Law of Linguistic Right-On-ness. So Mandarin has just as much right to veneration and so on as Fijian.

  35. on 08 Mar 2010 at 6:27 pm Have Your Lurk

    Or Klingon. Not kidding.

  36. on 08 Mar 2010 at 6:35 pm Cab Grunter

    Heghlu’meH QaQ jajvam! Ka’Plah!

  37. on 08 Mar 2010 at 6:40 pm Cab Grunter

    Heghlu’meH QaQ “bosh”?

    ‘arlogh Qoylu’pu’ “Bosch”! Ka’Plah!

  38. on 08 Mar 2010 at 6:41 pm Have Your Lurk

    Today is ALWAYS a good day to die, Cab Grunter! :-D

  39. on 08 Mar 2010 at 6:47 pm pigfrottage

    @Cheb Ghobbi

    You rule. Resistance is futile.

    @Cab Grunter

    I’m not sure that is anatomically possible.

    ‘oH ‘oH [a] QaQ jaj Daq Hegh

  40. on 08 Mar 2010 at 7:24 pm Massive Propagating Bee Extinction

    Ugly Newt

    This may be the case. I did engineering, and a friend of mine doing humanities was surprised to learn that “how not to be an oppressive wanker” wasn’t on my reading list.

    I did humanities, and I can’t believe that Stuart Hall from It’s A Knockout wasn’t on your list when you were learning how to build fucking bridges or something.

    In fact, I’m so right on now, I can spot your discrimination against humanities students from here. I think you should apologise.

    Thank you. You’re welcome.

  41. on 08 Mar 2010 at 7:32 pm Bit Special AKA La Spesh

    No-one need worry about current or ex-Humanities students. The very nature of how our particular type of intelligence and personality means we’ll never have a proper job or be much influence on society (although I did shamelessly join the FB RATM for Xmas no. 1 group, w00t). If you’re the sort of person, say, who genuinely enjoys reading and understanding the work of Derrida (like me), your ability to interact with every day life, never mind the inclination to do so, is tenuous at best.

    But enough about my good points; the answer is more or less yes, Humanities students are generally woolly liberal types – the clue’s in the subject title. But it’s bollocks that we’re all indoctrinated into loony lefty thinking (I was constantly challenged about being too ‘unrealistically’ left wing and idealist, for example). That’s because being humanitarian and egalitarian are the correct ways to be and the best chance for all societies, not a form of brainwashing.

    Wow, am even more po-faced than usual today! Now, if you’ll excuse me, this Kristeva won’t read itself…

  42. on 08 Mar 2010 at 7:47 pm Bit Special AKA La Spesh

    Please to ignore the random ‘how’ in the 2nd sentence. Grrr.

  43. on 08 Mar 2010 at 7:58 pm Alex

    If you’re the sort of person, say, who genuinely enjoys reading and understanding the work of Derrida (like me)…this Kristeva won’t read itself

    Oh for God’s sake. If we end up with people putting their fucking qualifications in their usernames again I’m getting the blah filter put back on.

  44. on 08 Mar 2010 at 8:11 pm Bit Special AKA La Spesh

    Put yer handbag down. Did I mention my exact qualifications? No. I merely said that I am an ex-Humanities student, as did others. Please criticise my post correctly, ie that it wasn’t very funny (it’s the best I could manage after a nightmare day at work).

  45. on 08 Mar 2010 at 9:38 pm Dave Website

    This is the same Dan Oxford that used to regularly curl one off into the comments section on the Oxford Mail website http://www.thisisoxfordshire.co.uk

    He is absolutely obsessed with mass immigration and can’t resist linking it to any of the city’s problems, no matter how fucking tenuous it may be. He seems to think that immigration is a conspiracy cooked up by the PC NuLiebore brigade as a social experiment. He uses that ‘enriched’ nonsense all the time – that’s text book DanOxford.

    A few months ago he had his user account deleted for being too racist. He now uses the name ‘Grundon Skip’. Come to think of it, he hasn’t been around much recently. It seems he’s moved on to infect the rest of the internet with his twatbasketry.

  46. on 08 Mar 2010 at 10:42 pm [NutterBrackets]

    @Dave Website: Have I found two more sockpuppets for the racist cunt?

    Mark Horner wrote:
    Thanks Labour for this “enrichment”!
    March 6, 2010 9:59 AM GMT on community.timesonline.co.uk
    Recommend? (124)

    dave owen wrote:
    this is diversity at it’s most typical. you can see how it enriches our drab grey culture. we should be truly grateful for all that the good ship windrush has brought.
    March 6, 2010 12:56 PM GMT on community.timesonline.co.uk
    Recommend? (106)

    Give them BNP fuckers their due: they know how to work a “recommend?” button. Shame they have ruined the internet.

  47. on 08 Mar 2010 at 10:48 pm fucko the clown

    Whats the problem? statistically 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.

  48. on 08 Mar 2010 at 11:27 pm Cab Grunter

    Lurk, I can’t believe I wrote that in actual Klingon… or that you translated it. ;)

    We all know where we left our coats…

  49. on 08 Mar 2010 at 11:31 pm Cab Grunter (BA Kronos Studies from Starfleet Academy)

    Fucko, would that be the 9 people doing the raping?

  50. on 09 Mar 2010 at 12:07 am Ugly Newt

    @Massive Propagating Bee Extinction

    Unfortunately, I never learned the “right on” way to react after being spotted discriminating, either. All I know is to flat-out deny it, grasp straws in an attempt to justify it, and then weakly claim it was all a joke.

  51. on 09 Mar 2010 at 12:27 am Nighthawk at the Diner

    Unaccustomed as I am to making a tit of myself on a public forum…

    As someone who has spent much of his time indoctrinating undergraduate students with his lefty-liberal bleeding heart opinions, spreading the filth of the Frankfurt School, enjoying reading the evil of Derrida and, what’s more, hating this country and everything it stands for, I felt obliged to comment.

    The fact is that I can now categorically state (as a scientific fact) that Marx, Saussurre, Foucault, Althusser, Gramsci and I all agree that Dan Oxford is the biggest twat since Mussolini (excluding the other 3,023 other HYSers previously mentioned here).

    What’s more Humanities graduates all hate the simple practicality, social contextlessness and employability of engineering and science graduates.

    tlho’ SoH ‘ej QaQ ram

  52. on 09 Mar 2010 at 1:21 am Bit Special AKA La Spesh

    @Nighthawk – I’ve heard the French Feminists think he’s a right cunt as well.

    (Spot on with your description of Hum Grads)

  53. on 09 Mar 2010 at 1:45 am Nighthawk at the Diner

    @Bit Special – I really wanted to say cunt, but have offended so many people by using the word over the years that I bottled it in my first post. I’m reassured now, as an indeterminate number of French Feminists can’t be wrong. BTW I’ve spoken to Lacan (via a medium admittedly) and he says “The narration, in fact, doubles the drama with a commentary without which no mise en scene would be possible. Oh and Dan Oxford is a cunt”.

    Wise words indeed.

  54. on 09 Mar 2010 at 4:36 am jpr

    I did a science degree, but since it involved both Ecology and Evolution I’m automatically assumed to be a liberal-leftie-commie atheist pervert with no morals at all.

    It certainly explains much.

  55. on 09 Mar 2010 at 6:35 am Massive Propagating Bee Extinction

    Blah blah blah humanities blah blah blah evidence of ability to conduct complex blah blah blah bummed foxes in the Union blah blah blah my degrees are worth more than your degrees blah blah blah Dan Oxford is a giant rancid cheetah cuntbubble.

    My work is done. Except the actual work, which will never be done.

  56. on 09 Mar 2010 at 7:19 am Online Stock TradingPNRV3

    http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/online-stock-trading#uj3552 online stock trading

  57. on 09 Mar 2010 at 7:25 am Yakoub

    A little learning is a dangerous thing ;
    Drink deep, or taste not the Pierian spring :
    There shallow draughts intoxicate the brain,
    And drinking largely sobers us again.

    Alexander Pope.

  58. on 09 Mar 2010 at 8:47 am Have Your Lurk

    Alexander Pope, the android named Bishop in Aliens, and Judas Priest. Hmm. Gigantic Jewish conspiracy at work here, methinks.

  59. on 09 Mar 2010 at 9:11 am Theodore

    My grandfathers fought the Borscht. I tell you, it got messy.

  60. on 09 Mar 2010 at 9:42 am Marx & Sparx

    What Robert G really means is his grandparents fought Vileroy & Bosh for his right to leave piles of steaming turds all over the Internet & his right to piss on any culture/race he doesn’t agree with.

  61. on 09 Mar 2010 at 10:07 am Roeby

    Well, I ran out of money before I could finish my degree leaving me stranded in the desert that is middle mangement for the rest of my days, so you’re all cunts in my book.

    (Though it was only a B.Ed so I could never hope to reach the giddy heights of liberal pomposity of someone reading humanities, obviously.)

    And Klingon? Please, guys….

  62. on 09 Mar 2010 at 10:08 am john Adair's Gerbil

    I went to University.

    Probably. It’s a bit of a blur, 1978/79.

    Then they told me a) I had to go there for four years and b) I wasn’t going there anymore.

  63. on 09 Mar 2010 at 10:08 am Cheb Ghobbi

    My grandfather fought Björn Ulvaeus for this?

    That’s right, my grandfather was Agnetha Fältskog.

    I’ll get my coat.

  64. on 09 Mar 2010 at 10:14 am Alex

    Put yer handbag down. Did I mention my exact qualifications?

    Of course not. You just wrote “LOOK AT ME I AM VERY CLEVER” in as many ways as you could. I was just warning you about:
    1. where this sort of thing inevitably leads
    2. the blah filter

    Whats the problem? statistically 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.

    That’s a really good joke Fucko. You should post it on Sickipedia. It’d go down a treat. They’re always looking for fresh material.

  65. on 09 Mar 2010 at 10:26 am Have Your Lurk

    Well, I ran out of money before I could finish my degree leaving me stranded in the desert that is middle mangement for the rest of my days, so you’re all cunts in my book.

    Wow, someone who can land a job in middle management can’t afford to finish their degree? That is amazing, and it’s a damning indictment of what this country has come to under the iron-fisting jackboots of NuLieBore. Whatever happened to the Britain of my youth, eh? When degrees were for thermometers, and graduation was for pipettes. Or something. (Mind you, I’ve got two degrees.)

  66. on 09 Mar 2010 at 10:32 am Roeby

    Yep, that’s the way it works. Don’t get a degree, get stuck in an office for 18 years, and one day, ONE DAY my son, you too will have three teenage underlings to push around.

    So not all bad.

  67. on 09 Mar 2010 at 10:37 am Have Your Lurk

    Hmm. I thought with the rise in knife crime and ASBOs and so on, that they’d be pushing you around. No?

  68. on 09 Mar 2010 at 10:40 am jpr

    (Mind you, I’ve got two degrees.)

    If you had three degrees you could hire them out for entertainment at weddings and bar mitzvahs.

  69. on 09 Mar 2010 at 10:44 am Kelvin

    Just a word of advice, Have Your Lurk. If you’re being ironic you should try and add some actual humour into your posts so we know. Otherwise they make you sound just like the kind of tedious whining HYS twat you’re (presumably) trying to mock.

  70. on 09 Mar 2010 at 10:45 am Nearly done

    My grandfather would have fought the Bochs for this were it not a portable x86 and x86-64 IBM PC compatible emulator and debugger mostly written in C++ and distributed as free software under GNU Lesser General Public License, and therefore not around when he was alive.

    Yeah, that orange one, with the fake fur-lined hood. Smells of ingrained, stale chip fat. Ta.

  71. on 09 Mar 2010 at 10:45 am Shackleton

    Can I still get the underlings even though I’ve got a degree? Or am I doomed to spawn pansy liberal kiddiwinks?

  72. on 09 Mar 2010 at 10:57 am Have Your Lurk

    Just a word of advice, Have Your Lurk. If you’re being ironic you should try and add some actual humour into your posts so we know. Otherwise they make you sound just like the kind of tedious whining HYS twat you’re (presumably) trying to mock.

    Exhibit fucking A:

    Wow, someone who can land a job in middle management can’t afford to finish their degree? That is amazing, and it’s a damning indictment of what this country has come to under the iron-fisting jackboots of NuLieBore. Whatever happened to the Britain of my youth, eh? When degrees were for thermometers, and graduation was for pipettes. Or something.

    Hint: the irony isn’t in the “iron”-fisting jackboots.

    Exhibit fucking B:

    Bosh apparently stands for Bidirectional-streams Over Synchronous HTTP. Oh, no, wait, this is WWII, right? Then it must be “a cylinder inside the furnace where the raw ingredients were mixed and melted” [...] If both his grandfathers got the amazing idea of fighting this, then it actually explains quite a lot two generations down the line.

    Hint: the irony isn’t in the “iron”-like metal being melted down in the furnace.

    Exhibit fucking, fucking, fucking C:

    Alexander Pope, the android named Bishop in Aliens, and Judas Priest. Hmm. Gigantic Jewish conspiracy at work here, methinks.

    Hint: the irony isn’t in the reference to an “iron”-like heavy metal group.

    Is my irony coming through here? Kelvin?

  73. on 09 Mar 2010 at 11:05 am Kelvin

    Is my irony coming through here? Kelvin?

    No.

  74. on 09 Mar 2010 at 11:12 am Have Your Lurk

    Is my irony coming through here? Kelvin?

    No.

    I see.

    It’s been real, folks. But this isn’t my blog, it’s Kelvin’s.

  75. on 09 Mar 2010 at 11:24 am Kelvin

    Actually it’s Nelson’s; he just gives me, Alex and Gainsbourg the keys when he’s too drunk to drive.

  76. on 09 Mar 2010 at 11:38 am Have Your Lurk

    Whatever.

  77. on 09 Mar 2010 at 11:46 am GiveItAGo

    Irony doesn’t necessarily equal humour. Irony tempered with a little wit may be what you’re looking for – which is why I hardly ever make a post here any more: that kind of thing is best left to Nelson and crew.

    And Bit Special, please stop posting ‘corrections’, we really don’t give a fuck that you left out a full stop.

  78. on 09 Mar 2010 at 11:48 am Cab Grunter

    “Whatever. Your Mum Works In McDonald’s for Minimum Wage.” (WMWMMW) Sigh. Again with the seriousity.

    Only one answer… Another song for us all!

    Down at an English fair one evening I was there
    When I heard a showman shouting underneath the flair:

    I’ve got a lovely bunch of coconuts!
    There they are all standing in a row –
    Big ones, small ones, some as big as your head!
    Give them a twist a flick of the wrist,
    That’s what the showman said.
    I’ve got a lovely bunch of coconuts,
    Every ball you throw will make me rich!

  79. on 09 Mar 2010 at 11:54 am Lurker in a Burka

    I’ve got PhDs in 4 scientific disciplines and I still get overly precious about being dissed anonymously on a fucking obscure internet forum. For fucks sake.

    Your mum spins waltzers.

  80. on 09 Mar 2010 at 11:58 am Alex

    Is my irony coming through here? Kelvin?

    I can see it. Now show us the humour. You might have to explain why it’s funny though, otherwise it’ll go right over our heads.

  81. on 09 Mar 2010 at 12:01 pm Kelvin

    I can see it.

    Shit, I knew I’d be able to see it if I just had one more degree.

  82. on 09 Mar 2010 at 12:05 pm john Adair's Gerbil

    Hey, we got mentioned on El Reg, so play nice.

    http://www.theregister.co.uk/2010/03/09/mail_comment/

  83. on 09 Mar 2010 at 12:06 pm Bit Special AKA La Spesh

    You just wrote “LOOK AT ME I AM VERY CLEVER” in as many ways as you could.

    Sorry, should I just be a patronising cunt and presume that I’m so fucking brainy that no-one else will have heard of the deliberately-chosen well-known names I mentioned? Cos I don’t think I am and I don’t think they won’t have. If you genuinely believe that mentioning bloody Derrida is some sign of thinking I’m superior, like I’m of the chosen few who know of him, then that says a helluva lot about YOUR unflattering opinion of the intellectual level and breadth of knowledge of other people on here. I think you’ll find I was slagging myself off for being unemployable because my brain only digs impractical shit and nitpicking twattery (apart from the type where you believe you should pompously dictate what I can say for my own good) and being ironic as I did it. Am clearly suffering from HaveYourLurk-itis in this endeavour.

    Shall we get back to slagging off twatbaskets or are you too busy being one yourself?

  84. on 09 Mar 2010 at 12:10 pm Kelvin

    If you genuinely believe that mentioning bloody Derrida is some sign of thinking I’m superior

    Spesh, it genuinely doesn’t bother me which member of Boyzone is your favourite.

  85. on 09 Mar 2010 at 12:38 pm OOOh him

    I’m pretty sure this is Dan, Oxford of The Oxford Mail (www.thisisoxfordshire.co.uk) infamy. Batshit. Totally paranoid batshit.

  86. on 09 Mar 2010 at 12:48 pm Alex

    I’m sorry Spesh. Let’s bury the hatchet and make some idle chit-chat. What’s the cleverest book you’ve ever read? Was it in the original French?

  87. on 09 Mar 2010 at 1:00 pm john Adair's Gerbil

    I read Ceasar’s Commentaries in the original Latin.

    Did I find a salad recipie? Did I feck.

  88. on 09 Mar 2010 at 1:38 pm Theodore

    I read Mein Kampf, but it was a struggle.

  89. on 09 Mar 2010 at 4:00 pm Ed aka Lurkshire Hunt

    I call shark-jumping on both Alex and Kelvin on this matter. Get a grip.

  90. on 09 Mar 2010 at 4:05 pm Kelvin

    We jumped the shark years ago. In metaphor terms we’re somewhere between Richie Cunningham going to university and Shirley leaving Laverne and Shirley.

  91. on 09 Mar 2010 at 4:17 pm Cab Grunter

    Dammit. Happy Days. Should’ve gone with Happy Days as the song. Dang. Everybody knows Happy Days. Now everyone’s convinced I’m obsessed with giant nuts.

  92. on 09 Mar 2010 at 4:18 pm Cab Grunter

    Nuts of milky goodness I would add. But giant nuts nonetheless.

  93. on 09 Mar 2010 at 4:45 pm Ed aka Lurkshire Hunt

    Milky nuts are on me!

  94. on 09 Mar 2010 at 5:35 pm Jim

    I’ve got two degrees, and I speak more than one language too? Does this make me a cunt Kelvin?

    Jesus wept, I remember when this page wasn’t full of sanctimonious unfunny cunts

  95. on 09 Mar 2010 at 6:15 pm pigfrottage

    I’m not very funny. Can I stay?

  96. on 09 Mar 2010 at 6:32 pm Ed aka Lurkshire Hunt

    If all the not very funny were excluded, who would be left?

  97. on 09 Mar 2010 at 6:42 pm Kelvin

    I’ve got two degrees, and I speak more than one language too? Does this make me a cunt Kelvin?

    Oh, oh, I know this one! Is it “well that depends on whether you slipped it in there as the punchline of yet another supposedly-ironic but suspiciously straight-faced comment by someone who only started claiming irony-as-defence after he got torn to pieces for claiming the victim shares responsibility for the crime committed against them, and who flounced off in a huff as soon as that was pointed out to him”? I hope it is, because I measure my personal worth based on what people say about me and people who share minor traits with me on the internet.

    Jesus wept, I remember when this page wasn’t full of sanctimonious unfunny cunts

    When was that? Must have been before I started posting here.

  98. on 09 Mar 2010 at 7:37 pm Massive Propagating Bee Extinction

    I’m tired all time because I’m busy at work so I post late and often I just post for the sake of having said something, but I’m going to see a Richard Dawkins lecture tonight and this weekend will be the third weekend in a row I’ve been to see a live sporting event.

    I was going to say, “Can I stick around”, but I just realised I’m filling my life with the mindless tedium and distractions that make up the core tenets of Marx’s views on the relation of the state to the individual, and now I don’t want to go to the cricket.

    Do I win five pounds?

  99. on 09 Mar 2010 at 8:18 pm Oxdown Gazette

    Will that be one of Dawkins’ “religion is bad, mmkay?” lectures, or one where he’s talking about something he’s actually qualified to talk about, ie science and shit?

  100. on 09 Mar 2010 at 8:25 pm Kelvin

    How is he not qualified to talk about religion? I know priests who think they’re qualified to give marital counselling.

  101. on 09 Mar 2010 at 8:44 pm Oxdown Gazette

    I just find his anti-religion rants boring and unnecessary. And he just can’t let it go! He seems to like talking about religion more than he does than science. I find Ben Goldacre a far more convincing defender of science and rationality.

  102. on 09 Mar 2010 at 8:51 pm Theodore

    If all the not very funny were excluded, who would be left?

    Les Dennis.

  103. on 09 Mar 2010 at 8:51 pm Theodore

    blockquote buggery

  104. on 09 Mar 2010 at 11:52 pm Bit Special AKA La Spesh

    I’m sorry Spesh. Let’s bury the hatchet and make some idle chit-chat. What’s the cleverest book you’ve ever read? Was it in the original French?

    I forgive you Alex. When you finally get a girlfriend you’ll no longer feel the need to get your kicks from this type of embarrassing nonsense.

    PS I can speak Dutch too – could you fashion some sort of primary school-level insult out of that too? Boyzone indeed! I’m just surprised you didn’t mention PMT. D-.

  105. on 10 Mar 2010 at 12:39 am Kelvin

    I’m just surprised you didn’t mention PMT

    I think its presence in this conversation has been implied, surely?

  106. on 10 Mar 2010 at 9:29 am Massive Propagating Bee Extinction

    Oxdown Gazette

    I just find his anti-religion rants boring and unnecessary. And he just can’t let it go! He seems to like talking about religion more than he does than science. I find Ben Goldacre a far more convincing defender of science and rationality.

    It was a science lecture, but it was also a physics and chemistry lecture. Look, 1/3 of the population here identifies as having no religion, and that number grows year on year. If I want to indulge myself by hearing a guy who’s written a fuckload of books say that it’s funny that most criminals are religious, look at the Mafia or the Catholic church, then it’s my indulgence.

    Regardless of anything else, you seem to forget that in all your dislike of his cogent attacks on religions, he’s not at all wrong, and they’re all based on the science he knows about. Dawkins’ entire angle is “Religion is bullshit, and now I’m going to prove it.”

    Anyway, now I’ve met him and shit. So fuck off.

  107. on 10 Mar 2010 at 9:31 am Massive Propagating Bee Extinction

    I meant, it was an evolutionary biology lecture, but you got me all fired up in the same way as I’d fire up a Christian if I said Jesus is a cunt.

    Which he is.

    Also, Mohammed is a paedo and Frank Lampard is a Frank Lampard.

    I think I’ve covered all my hatred bases.

  108. on 10 Mar 2010 at 9:57 am Sheepless

    I’d like to fire up some Christians. I think I’ll start with Pat Robertson and some paraffin.

  109. on 10 Mar 2010 at 10:13 am Massive Propagating Bee Extinction

    You could also try Ted Haggard, some gay porn and some meth.

    I heard he likes young boys and meth.