Hypocrites and The Regular Twats and Unfocused Rage11 Mar 2010 09:24 am

Sometimes, It’s Never, Hang On, I Mean Always, Wait, Um, Fuck It, Just Hit The Cunt

By Nelson

The HYS forum has changed recently. They’ve got rid of the recommendations and paging and I think maybe raised the character limit, resulting in extremely long pages of unreadable bollocks. It’s a massive improvement and hopefully means nobody will ever try to read any of it ever again.

They also got rid of the RSS feeds of user posts. Now I have to scan through, looking for good shit, instead of simply subscribing to the feeds of the most amusingly self-important bellends. It’s not massively rewarding.

I’m going through old ones I saved but never got round to posting. Sometimes, it’s never too late.

If a victim is being physically attacked, the victim can use self defence to protect himself. That is the law of the land, and it should be no different in the classroom.

To those who are shocked with this statement, believing that children should not be taught that violence is the answer to violence. Well remember this: bullying is easy when the victim can’t retaliate; and sometimes, it’s never too early to learn about the real world.
Lloyd Belle, Nottingham, United Kingdom

Good call, Lloyd. Sometimes, the only way to stop bullying is to batter the fuck out of someone much smaller than you.

50 Responses to “Sometimes, It’s Never, Hang On, I Mean Always, Wait, Um, Fuck It, Just Hit The Cunt”

  1. on 11 Mar 2010 at 9:34 am   Cab Grunter

    I love this Law Of The Land. It’s how I grow carrots.

  2. on 11 Mar 2010 at 9:46 am   random punter

    I had a date with Lloyd’s sister Liberty once. She knew how to defend herself all right. Mind you, the crack was good.

  3. on 11 Mar 2010 at 10:01 am   Jones

    I wonder what Lloyd made of A Clockwork Orange…

  4. on 11 Mar 2010 at 10:09 am   Marx & Sparx

    Lloyd does us all a huge favour by having the surname Belle, it means I only have to add two more letters to make a word that would accurately describe him. I’ll have two constonants please Carol, preferably an N & a D.

  5. on 11 Mar 2010 at 10:24 am   SoulBoy

    It’s the law of the land – my brother – oh
    Whether you like it or you’ll understand – ah hey hey
    It’s the law of the land – hey hey hey hey
    ‘Cause made by almighty men

  6. on 11 Mar 2010 at 10:59 am   Massive Propagating Bee Extinction

    Literally a…

    …oh, wait, it was done already.

    Um. Do you think Lloyd’s a copper?

  7. on 11 Mar 2010 at 11:06 am   Goldstein

    If anything, having the entire shitting bumwank of HYS on one page makes this all the easier. Go to the debate on, say, the international role of the EU. Stick your favourite rage words into your browser’s search, let’s take Islam for example, and bam!

    The EU with it’s “damp rag” apparatchiks should continue with the role in which it has had most success, namely appeasing islamist fascism and assisting in the birth of Eurabia.

  8. on 11 Mar 2010 at 11:08 am   Cab Grunter

    “Eurabia”! Clever clever clever! Ah, these wordsmiths never fail to impress…

  9. on 11 Mar 2010 at 11:10 am   Bogbrush

    No, Lloyd’s just a cunt with revenge fantasies

  10. on 11 Mar 2010 at 11:26 am   Nelson

    @Goldstein: I like. Perhaps I can muster enthusiasm again.

    I might even write a scraper that looks for keywords automagically.

    Then Neil Craig will turn up, disbelieving that such wonders can exist, and accuse me of being a magician who works for the Intergalactic BBC Muslim High Council Of Gay Wizards.

  11. on 11 Mar 2010 at 11:30 am   Jones

    being a magician who works for the Intergalactic BBC Muslim High Council Of Gay Wizards.

    That sounds like the best job ever! Can I be one?

  12. on 11 Mar 2010 at 11:47 am   Bogbrush

    But isn’t he going to accuse you of stalking him and invading his privacy?

  13. on 11 Mar 2010 at 11:54 am   Twat-o-Tron

    The BBC has turned off the turd tap? Something must be done! I may knock up an HYS-parser as a stop gap.

  14. on 11 Mar 2010 at 12:10 pm   [NutterBrackets]

    To be fair to Lloyd, he is simply advocating the compulsory teaching of kung-fu at primary school up to 1st Dan. This idea came to him in a vision he had after wanking himself into a frenzy and passing out whilst watching The Karate Kid. That’s how I had mine anyway.

  15. on 11 Mar 2010 at 12:21 pm   ad ho

    Original or remake?

  16. on 11 Mar 2010 at 1:33 pm   Marx & Sparx

    Whacks on… Whacks off….

  17. on 11 Mar 2010 at 1:34 pm   Marx & Sparx

    …Coat on.

  18. on 11 Mar 2010 at 1:38 pm   TrumpsCombOver

    ‘“Eurabia”! Clever clever clever! Ah, these wordsmiths never fail to impress…’

    Eurabia sounds far too close to Labia in my opinion

  19. on 11 Mar 2010 at 1:58 pm   That Bloke in the Corner

    Whacks on… Whacks off….

    @Marx & Sparx, thanks chap, a coffee/screen interface moment.

  20. on 11 Mar 2010 at 2:19 pm   SoulBoy

    Anyone in the mood for a little “why don’t you go live there?” with a swift “Enoch was right” at the end from a local mosque story I have been following – http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/comment/faith/article7055790.ece

    Richard Carter takes umbrage with a fellow correspondant -

    Jayil London

    You are still here? The last time we “corresponded”I had again commented on the fact that you always express views that indicate your discontent with the way things are in the UK. Why don’t you do yourself and us a huge favour – and leave? I am sure you will find a muslim country far more appropriate to your bigoted and narrow vision. You sure do seem to hate everything about the Britain that fought for freedom; doubtless since you are longing for the dark ages of Sharia to descend. On that, buddy, I can assure you Powell will be proven right. Blood will flow like rivers before we give in to that.

    Adieu

  21. on 11 Mar 2010 at 2:39 pm   HYS took my baby away

    I’ve sent in my proposals for the mosque in Camberley and suggest they scrap the minarets (too forrin) and have a large ‘M’ sign above it instead, preferably in red. Will that do?

  22. on 11 Mar 2010 at 3:02 pm   HYS took my baby away

    A large yellow ‘M’ would be even better.

  23. on 11 Mar 2010 at 3:19 pm   Cheb Ghobbi

    David Woolmer wrote:
    I was an Officer Cadet at Sandhurst and I was a Christian then and still am-as most of my fellow cadets were,and are still.

    A very large proportion of the cadets at the Royal Military Academy will go to Afghanistan. Would anyone with any decent feelings consider it right that a number will be killed by Muslims and when on the parade ground they will see the minarets almost every day for two years and be constantly reminded of similar people they will kill and be killed by?
    March 10, 2010 8:03 PM GMT on community.timesonline.co.uk Recommend? (26)

    Charming.

  24. on 11 Mar 2010 at 3:21 pm   Cheb Ghobbi

    Presumably the minarets are not a functional requirement as I imagine call to prayer won’t be broadcast to the surrounding area. No way would the planning department allow the construction of towers tall enough to observe / photograph the goings on within the Royal Military Academy….

    Or am I being naive
    March 10, 2010 4:53 PM GMT on community.timesonline.co.uk Recommend? (17)

    No, you’re being a twat.

  25. on 11 Mar 2010 at 3:21 pm   Farmer Tan

    @TrumpsCombOver
    No Eurabia is nearer to Broken Britain just east of England (not the UK) took her indoors there for a holiday once. Lovely people and so clean.

  26. on 11 Mar 2010 at 3:34 pm   RT

    A very large proportion of the cadets at the Royal Military Academy will go to Afghanistan. Would anyone with any decent feelings consider it right that a number will be killed by Muslims and when on the parade ground they will see the minarets almost every day for two years and be constantly reminded of similar people they will kill and be killed by?

    blah blah churches blah blah World Wars I and II blah blah didn’t seem to bloody well bother them then did it? blah blah

  27. on 11 Mar 2010 at 3:36 pm   broken bracken

    If a victim is being physically attacked, the victim can use self defence to protect himself. That is the law of the land

    And in court, if the accused faces charges made against him and pleads not guilty to maintain his innocence, then the judge shall wear a wig of barleycorns and smack him on the head with a gavel made of conkers.

  28. on 11 Mar 2010 at 4:30 pm   Cab Grunter

    Oh dear – The Guardian‘s gone and asked Is Question Time’s all-women audience a good idea?

    skinhead69:
    Another exampe of token feminism, whereby someone writes an article, sticks the f-word in, and suddenly its the subject of discourse. Without meaning to blow my own trumpet, but I know a f***load more about feminism than most of the women i know. What makes you think a man can’t say something positive on a womens behalf. Do you think as an asian, I won’t tolerate the opinions of whites and see them as completely alien to me? utter nonsense.

    Cos all dem bitches is well fick, innit.

  29. on 11 Mar 2010 at 5:02 pm   Roeby

    I’m particularily impressed by the username skinhead69 for a ‘asian man’ who knows a ‘fuck load about feminism’.

  30. on 11 Mar 2010 at 5:04 pm   Roeby

    ‘cos to me, it sounds much more appropriate for a white supremacist sex-pest.

    Go figure.

  31. on 11 Mar 2010 at 5:29 pm   Shackleton

    Without meaning to blow my own trumpet

    So that’s why they call him skinhead69…

  32. on 11 Mar 2010 at 6:01 pm   Ed aka Lurkshire Hunt

    I thought it was a reference to his IQ.

  33. on 11 Mar 2010 at 6:05 pm   Oxdown Gazette

    Maybe he feels that way cos no woman will “blow his own trumpet” f’narr f’narr

  34. on 11 Mar 2010 at 6:09 pm   Shackleton

    Maybe he’s like Johnny 23 from Con Air, but his name refers to his preferred victims and the number of them. Maybe he’s an Asian inverse-queer-basher who goes round beating and raping skinheads? Giving them a lesson in feminism while he’s at it.

  35. on 11 Mar 2010 at 6:46 pm   Roeby

    @ Shackleton

    Oooo! Would that be available on PS3 or DS?

  36. on 11 Mar 2010 at 7:13 pm   Ugeine

    I’m a little bit worried that a HYS comment makes sense. Have a look:

    Err, let me get this straight………….it’s possible to ban people who illegally download, but not possible to close or monitor sites peddling paedophilia.

    Astounding.

    Is it quite sensible, or am I just turning into one of them? It’s my second worst nightmare, behind the one where I have tits for feet.

  37. on 11 Mar 2010 at 7:14 pm   Ugeine

    Of course, paedos wouldn’t get such an easy time if the nulaboiur pc stazi would stop colluding with the gay mafia to steal votes off of hard working whites and give them to mus… Ah, turns out I was right the second time.

  38. on 11 Mar 2010 at 7:17 pm   Massive Propagating Bee Extinction

    skinhead69:

    What makes you think a man can’t say something positive on a womens behalf.

    Mostly, everything he’s ever said on the Guardian.

  39. on 11 Mar 2010 at 7:20 pm   Massive Propagating Bee Extinction

    Also, I’d like to point out to the Wooly Humanities Army that he’s having a dig at the humanities on the Graun.

    Allow me to be the first to say “Debord”.

  40. on 11 Mar 2010 at 7:31 pm   Any Rand will do

    From “OTOman” in that Guardian discussion:

    Errr excuse me but whilst we men still pay more tax (because we work longer hours and do the most dirty and dangerous jobs etc) we spend far more of our taxes on women than men. Institutional and personal chivalry is not always a ‘sop’ either because it extends to VERY important and serious issues as all too many fathers have found to their costs in the family courts. Even long before the rise of modern feminism a woman in the lowest class of travel (steerage) was given PRIVILEGED access to the lifeboats above men travelling first class on the Titanic. In the media and especially on Television most programming is aimed at women for women. We have just had International women’s day and mothers day and boy do we know about it – the BBC has launched am multi channel blitzkrieg of programs all about women including one SERIES called ‘Women’ – since we don’t have an International Men’s day and just a Fathers day do you think we will have so many supportive programmes and articles coming out – don’t hold your breath!!!

    It was 1912, ffs, can’t you let it go? And as for the SERIES called ‘Women’, what about ‘BOYS from the Black Stuff’, ‘The Likely LADS’, ‘Whatever Happened to the Likely LADS’ and ‘The MEN from the Ministry’? Chew on that, otoMAN.

  41. on 11 Mar 2010 at 8:34 pm   Pirate Pete

    Just to mention, I’ve been one of those BBC gay wizards for about the last six months. It’s a great job, free cake and fellatio for all :)

  42. on 11 Mar 2010 at 9:19 pm   Nazi

    Why wait to be attacked before you kick shit out of the little bastards? Just hammer who ever looks at you the wrong way – my teachers did, didn’t do us any harm! Too soft now.

  43. on 11 Mar 2010 at 10:17 pm   Braines

    I dunno people expressing their concerns about self defence and equality laws and how they dont work fairly.

    Terrible, these righties should be rounded up and all burnt in the style of thier inquisitorial masters

  44. on 11 Mar 2010 at 11:37 pm   Kelvin

    Just to mention, I’ve been one of those BBC gay wizards for about the last six months. It’s a great job, free cake and fellatio for all

    Well, as HYS is always telling us, only muslims, women and gays ever get jobs at the bebb, so which recruitment path did you go for, Pete? Was it the bisto facepack and mumbling things about Allah, high heels and tuck-up panties, or the casual letting-slip of your iPhone which just happens to have a pride float as the wallpaper?

    Wait, you’re the captain of the Cormorant’s Clunge, I shouldn’t even have to ask that question.

  45. on 12 Mar 2010 at 12:43 am   Pirate Pete

    Yes, the high heels did for me I’m afraid…

  46. on 12 Mar 2010 at 12:52 am   one of the eds

    @ Braines
    I know, what’s the world coming to? Teachers defending themselves against violence? Whatever next?

    It’s PC gone mad I tells yer

  47. on 12 Mar 2010 at 3:07 am   Cab Grunter

    There wasn’t an appropriate box to tick on the equal opportunities part of the BBC application, so I wrote, “I’m FAAAAACKING ENGERLISH YOU CAAAANT” and drew a little picture of Danny Dyer with my crayons. Didn’t even get a bleedin’ interview. C’uh dear. Bloody Islamibumfuns…

  48. on 12 Mar 2010 at 9:31 am   Massive Propagating Bee Extinction

    Braines

    I dunno people expressing their concerns about self defence and equality laws and how they dont work fairly.

    Terrible, these righties should be rounded up and all burnt in the style of thier inquisitorial masters

    Yeah, and doing it in a manner that displays an intimate knowledge of a subject and its nuances, and then arguing sensibly and cogently without once referring to idiotic tropes, anecdotes only vaguely related to reality or hyperbole.

    You’d think they were fucking stupid, naive and complete racists the way we go on.

  49. on 13 Mar 2010 at 4:05 pm   Pidge

    If the RSS feed is down for individual users, there’s an easy way to replace it. Just set up a Google Alert at alerts.google.com.

    You can even have it run into Google Reader, just like an RSS feed.

    I’d suggest doing the alert like this:

    site:bbc.co.uk

  50. on 15 Mar 2010 at 10:52 am   Oaf

    That sounds like the best job ever! Can I be one?

    you already are one.