I’m digging into my percy stash here peeps. The last few bits from from the defunct RSS feeds.
Remember when the beeb asked the gnomes “Should sportsmen be role models off the pitch?”. BigHitter decided it was time to wheel out the word “moot”. He had obviously been deeply impressed by someone who used it once and had been practising at home, in front of the mirror, ever since. “The point is moot!” he’d say, waggling his eyebrows. Sometimes he’d hold a finger in the air and pause for effect before letting rip with the full force of his weighty moot. “The point, Sir” (significant waggle) “is moot!”. And then he’d fling his coat over his arm and stalk out of the room, feeling like a Massive Professor of Opinions ‘N’ Shit.
So, practice over, here he is, giving it a go in public. Be kind, this is his first time.
They dont glean any respect from me, so the point is moot.
But, they should be insiprational to youngsters, after all , they are all adults who never grew up but alas they have been developed inside a pandering , narcissist bubble all of their adult life , subsequently know very little of the real world
Ridiculous wages for what amounts to very little achievement
[BigHitter]
Shit at sport, eh?
Anyway, my advice is that you take “moot” along to a few open mic nights before you try another proper gig with it. Hone your skills in front of a friendly crowd. Also, and sorry if I’m doing you a disservice here, but you strike me as the sort of cunt who might start riffing on shit like “ergo”, “methinks” and “QED”. This is the equivalent of launching into a twenty minute acappella of “Hallelujah” and then, just as everyone is about to glass themselves in the tits, asking them to “join in if you know the words”. Trust me, you can’t pull this off. You’re WORSE at this than you were at sport.
67 Responses to “Big Shitter”
This wedding is moot!
Can we also add “alas” to the cringeworthy dictionary of gnome-speak?
BigHitter’s problem with words is a subsequence of poor education methinks.
Mm. The usage of ‘moot’ also draws attention away from the peculiar choice to use ‘glean’ early on.
Not to mention the single-minded dismissiveness of the entire construction (it’s not really a thought, is it?). This idea of “if argument X means nothing to me personally, then it is automatically rubbish”. A sort of polarized brain-Nimbyism.
Also…
Perhaps try to nail basic grammar like matching the number of nouns to the number of people who possess them before trying out fancy words. Unless, of course, all these people share one life; in which case my point is moot.
Only if you add “and alack”. I’d vote for “perchance” as well.
That’s when he’s not hosting his own production of QI using cardboard cutouts of Alan Davies and Rob Brydon as contestants.
*I* never watch football, ergo, the point is moot. QED.
Meanwhile, on a rubbish tip in South London, two men are discussing a moot point.
“Don’t point that moot at me, Moriarty.”
methinks BigHitter spends most of his life furiously typing his annoyance at the world on many a forum, ergo, he is a vagina. He thinks, therefore he types, therefore a cunt-QED perchance? and with a hey nonny no I am back to my corner.
Percy stash. Hehe.
BigHitter thinks Trident is moot, too. He probably heard it when he turned to the Big Oxford Dictionary – you know, the one that’s got “fuck” and “shit” in it – after he got bored reading Janes defence reference books in the village library looking for examples of technology he could write down on a small pad ready to whip out down the pub whenever he overheard anyone start discussing anything vaguely war related, including talking about Risk.
I imagine he’s got a Risk Campaign Diary, decorated with gold stars with words like “Burma Campaign Star” and “Russian War Star 1988-1990″ written on them in biro.
Yes, this is my imagination. But it’s considerably better than what will turn out to be the crusty-socked reality of BigHitter’s life.
And I bet he could tell you which sci-fi show I’ve just referenced.
Beshrew me! You’re in good fooling this morning.
Can I flag up the “Should teachers be banned from the BNP?” thread on HYS. Remember that the Government has concluded that they should not be banned from being members.
Comprehension fail. Complete ferret’s fadge. QE-ergo-D.
Is this a form of communal zorbing? Or Cuger’s next inspiration?
And BigHitter is an expert is he?, in his back bedroom (sorry study), with pictures of Pamela Anderson on the wall, with his mum still buying his clothes and making sure he has a vest on when he does venture out to the work therapy centre on a Wednesday.
Don’t say ‘beshrew me’, SoulBoy – only stupid actors say ‘beshrew me’.
…And don’t say ‘tush’, either. It’s only a short step from ‘tush’
to ‘hey nonny nonny’; and then, I’m afraid, I’ll shall have to call
the police.
Yes, but the white dog won’t turn around and accuse the black dog of trying to steal its food that belongs to it, because the white dog was here first and so is an indigenous dog with far more right to everything than the black dog. Also, it’s not likely that in the past, the white dog belonged to extreme right wing groups, marched down the street carrying a banner with a swastika on it, called for the expulsion of all black dogs from areas that white dogs go, conveniently turned up in areas where black dogs and white dogs experienced tensions, denied the brown dog holocaust even took place, praised Adoglf Schitzuler, or had close relations with other white dogs who’d previously served prison time for violent, race-based offences and based an entire party’s membership criteria on not letting anyone except white dogs in.
See, the analogy here falls apart when you realise it’s fucking stupid and the person who created it is a stupid cunt.
“New Labour is simply undemocratic and authoritarian.”
I put it to you, that it is YOU who is the fasicsts for being facsististic towards the fasicists. Typical LIEBORE fascist-communist-talibanism destroying this great country…
I’ve always been puzzled as to where you would get cardboard cutouts from.
If I wanted to re-create QI, I would get images of their faces off the Internet, blow them up and print them out on A4, cut out the mouths, and sellotape them to inflatable sex dolls.
Of course, unlike BigHitter, I wouldn’t actually do that. Not since the Question Of Sport fiasco anyway.
(guffaws and chortles at Massive Propagating Bee Extinction’s comment then starts pretending to work again)
Malapropism is one thing – some people have trouble getting words out – but then he has combined it with a 30 year old grudge and a poisonously negative world view, not to mention awful fucking inexcusable grammar no less than 3 lines down. Whaddaprick.
I’ve got an actual-size cardboard cut-out of Kriss Akabusi, with a flap to put my cock through… so it looks like Kriss Akabusi has a white man’s cock.
It’s murder developing all these adults who never grew up. My figure’s ruined and I can never glean a seat on the Tube.
Mayhap you believe I’m using the word ‘glean’ wrongly, but I don’t agree with you so the point is moot.
@ Massive Propagating Bee Extinction
*applauds*
That produced a genuine Laugh Out Loud!
Whereas this is what made ME l-o-l. Methinks.
That BNP teacher thread is quite funny, but this one has me stumped:
I find multicuturalist views highly distateful. Does that mean i have the right to demand those that promote it get fired?
After all it is nothing but a cynical program to do what Britich governments have always done, control the people by divide and rule.
Uts excellent in its outcome. It divdes people by ethnicity and recalls that age old problem we had consigned to history, namely religious dfferences.
The BNP may be a trouble making outfit full of nasty indivduals, but they don’t run the country (into the ground). I know which problem has the higher priority.
Howdidweenduplikethis
OK. So you don’t like multiculturalism. You think that it actually causes religious and racial frictions. Fair enough so far, but then “the BNP may be a trouble making outfit full of nasty indivduals, but they don’t run the country (into the ground)” WOAH! That’s some kind of magical 180° turn in the same sentence, if I’m reading your incredibly subtle hints correctly?
Sometimes I just want to hide and not talk to anyone.
Oh, cockquotes.
Yeah! Fuck you Carlos Tevez, and your upbringing in that narcissist bubble Fuerte Apache, far away from the real world. Try growing up in Tunbridge Wells! Taugh me a thing or two about life, I tell you.
And fuck you, Winston Palacios. When have you ever had to deal with pain and suffering? In your local Equador, fair enough, when members of a local gang tortured and killed your brother after demanding a ransom from you (which you paid), but that pales to the pain I feel when my comments on HYS get rejected by the BBC Nazis!
And fuck you, Emmanuel Adebeyour, and your pampered little childhood in Togo on a cosy $1.25 a day, you know nothing of real financial hard ships, like the time I couldn’t afford to buy a new car because the nuliebor tax me to death.
Having re read his comment again I can’t explain how much I’d love to kick this guy repeatedly in the face.
Never mind that, is this cockarse actually under the impression that multiculturalism involves *dividing* people based on ethnic/religious groups?
If you ask people in shops that have life-size cardboard cutouts of celebs as advertising materials, they’re usually happy to give them to you once the campaign is over.
I had a friend at university who got one of Stuart “Psycho” Pearce that way, kept it in his bedroom, then wondered why his conversion rate between “come back to mine for coffee” to “let me put That in There” went through the floor. Tchuh. Women, eh?
Yeah there’s your food/drink/screen interface move this week!
Ahh, bless him! Hitler as an art teacher.
neo-HYS is getting scarily unrecognisable
@Ugly Newt – what’s really worrying is his spelling “Britich”… How ‘British’ are you, Howdidweenduplikethis? Eh? EH? Or should I say, ‘How did vee end up like zis’?
Well, if Hitler had stick to art, then, yeah, I’d have no problems with him teaching my kids*. It’s the whole genocide baggage that sort of biases me against him.
* Bar him being over a hundred years old, of course.
It’s about time we had a Dogtanian style cartoon about the holocaust. Now if only they can think of a dog version of Churchill…
I have discovered this guy:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/profile/?userid=13960045
He’s not prolific, but he’s a massive oaf.
You’ve obviously never actually seen any of his art. Or, if you have, you obviously haven’t seen any good art. Apart from the undiscovered masterpieces on Bayswater Road, of course.
By the way, what’s a percy stash?
@ Gore Don Baron
Total prick?
Clearly not a stoner then! Percy is short for personal, as in “it’s only a couple of ounces officer, purely for personal use”.
Unless he was making an obscure reference to the British sex comedy about the world’s first penis transplant starring Hywel Bennett as the eponymous hero.
Or perhaps an oblique reference to Blackadder plundering the secret stash of money that Percy has hidden, beyond the wit of any thief, in an old sock under the squeaky floorboard behind the kitchen dresser?
I wonder will be pulled from Baldrick’s mouldy potato?
@ Gore Don Baron
But he does know his way around bricklaying and that’s not easy. Lay a brick wrong and you know what you’ve got? A pile. A pile of bricks. And running economy is exactly that simple, as is reforming the English (not British) education system.
Whereas this was the moment today where my coffee and laptop screen met in such imperfect harmony.
There seems to be a marked lack of pedantry on this particular thread, so may I just point out that I believe the word “subsequently” should have been “consequently”?
Unless of course he actually does mean that they know little of the real word post-mortem. Or should that be post-mootem? Yuk yuk.
I have been neglecting this site recently and giving some good loving from one based in the US instead. Similarly themed to SYB except it tends to focus on prominent, though no less mentally unhinged, bloggers and commentators that have managed to carve out a nice niche industry for themselves in the States thanks to 9/11. Well worth a look – http://www.loonwatch.com
Nelson maybe you can include as a link? Help us to maintain that special relationship with the Yanks.
MFH, see post three and do try and keep up.
Sorry, Octogrammarian – and you put it more pithily than I, too…
What can I say? It was late, I was tired, I’d had a couple of beers*, and I came to the thread late.
* Maybe more than a couple. My Head Hurts as well now.
Trawling back from ShelfLife’s link, I discovered that the St Petersburg Times in Tampa Bay also do HYS.
http://tinyurl.com/yjxuvek
Didn’t someone round here’s parents fight Harrybosch’s parents in the war for the right to allow gay mentalist steroid-abusing marine reservists to beat up priests?
Mind you, the priest has a beard, and is Greek (oo-er missus), so probably deserved it.
Just found this on http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/haveyoursay/2010/03/should_the_age_of_criminality.html
4. At 10:02am on 13 Mar 2010, Ian of Uxbridge wrote:
Lower it!! Children should know right from wrong by the age of 5. It’s liberal fools like this in positions of social power that have eroded our societal values by removing the consequences of crime. Teachers can’nt disciplin pupuls while the parente abdicate responsibility and expect the schools to teach it. I can see the headlines now ‘Bulger style killer gets community order then goes on to kill again?’
We try to place ourselves above animals but fail to learn the lessons of history. For crime there needs to be an unpleasent consequence. If a child runs out in to the road should you be scarily angry with them or just soothing naughty naughty? Which one will they learn from fast and which one gets them run over next time?
Prevention is the better cure. teach kids from an early age about right and wrong and back it up with real deterrants.
I liked the part about placing ourselves above animals. Seems a little rich coming from a man who, judging by his typing skills, has yet to move up to the Digits section of the evolutionary department store.
Free fisting to anyone who spots a typo in this post.
Just to carry on the racist/dog theme a little; on last night’s PM on Radio 4, a listener wrote in to say that attempts to licence dogs was basically what the nazis did. Ergo sum, as they say.
“They came first for the dangerous dogs…”
Ian of Uxbridge has no time to check his spelling while our crumbling world hangs in the balance, between luminous civilisation and the darkest recesses of chthonic barbarism: he must tell the world before it’s too late.
His spelling errors are the result of anxious, frantic typing TAKATAKATAKATAKA in a dark room with the blinds obscuring all but the thinest and most miserable of sunrays.
I guess that’s fair enough, as long as they get to be tried by a jury of their peers if they break the law.
The jurors would have to be allowed teddy-bear & orange juice breaks at frequent intervals though, and nap time in the afternoon..
I must have been a very mature 5 year old. At that age i would not have tortured a butterfly to death, never mind a toddler. Still, I was one of the lucky ones I guess.
If I ever come into contact with Venables or Thomson, I will rip their testicles off and shove them up their arses.
‘kinell, Facebook’s gone mental. Someone has taken the unusual step of setting up a profile (called Olivia Rooney) with a pic of James Bulger and a caption reading ‘HAD IT COMING’. Tasteless, horrible and not in the slightest bit funny.
But the outbreak of choreographed communal outrage has to be seen to be believed. Scores of groups have been set up, and hundreds of people have posted thousands of near-identical comments to the effect that ‘Olivia’ should be removed from Facebook, tortured and put to death. Presumably in that order.
It’s a twatbasket goldmine, exactly the result the sick fuck wanted. Personal favourites (sorry, too tired to source them properly) include the guy who said she ought to be injected with acid, the guy who said she ought to be skinned alive and dipped in salt, and the guy who said he’d phoned the police. The sad thing is, I think he really had.
No, you won’t. I can say that with certainty. First, you’d never know who they were. Secondly, you’re an internet hardman with a collection of crinkly tissues under his matress. And finally, although you won’t ever do that, you will use that fantasy situation to mastubate furiously over, well into the wee small hours – to match your wee small brain and your wee small willy – in order that you can add to your collection of crinkly tissues.
No, it’s not in the slightest bit funny.
It’s fucking awesome.
Especially this shit.
Awesome troll is awesome.
Awesome indeed. People are joining that site at the rate of about 10 a minute at the moment.
I love the old “two words” invocation – always brings to mind Sid Waddell.
Wankito ergo sum. I wank, therefore I am. QED methinks, dear reader!!
Generally I like to masturbate softly into an eggcup. Or furiously into a marmite jar.
I once convinced my kids that `moot’ was the rudest swearword in the English language, and promised a thorough beating to any child who uttered it.
Then we went for a day trip to Aldeburgh and they spotted signs for the `Moot Hall.’ I still don’t think my reputation has recovered.
Pomposity outbreak at CiF – although nobody is actually saying “methinks”. In response to a piece suggesting that Cameron has no empathy with ordinary people ‘cos he went to Eton we get Stevehill, who says without a trace of irony
What he doesn’t know is that the moment he has finished his half pint of Scrumpy Jack (with ice) and headed out into the night the place actually becomes a real community pub, united in vigorous debate over what makes “Steve” such an utter twatpacket.
Let me know if you need an actual size cardboard cutout of Kris Akabusi’s cock.
pant, pant, pant, wag, wag, wag, lick!
Hey! Welcome back Gobbler!
Funny that Hitler’s Penis hasn’t put in an appearance for ages… I worry about him sometimes, poor little thing.
Does he mean ‘moot’ in the sense of ‘purely academic’, or ‘arguable’?
There’s plenty more witless pedantry where that came from.
Nelson, the clock on this machine is wrong. As in, the posted time is an hour later than the real time.
Does it matter? Somehow, I doubt it.