Delusions of Grandeur and Permanently Bewildered and Shit Sherlocks and Slow Readers16 Mar 2010 09:48 am

Wardonia

By Nelson

“Should Catholic priests remain celibate?”

Celibacy isn’t a Christian idea, it comes from St Paul who, last time I checked wasn’t Jesus.
Wardonia

You could interpret this one in a couple of ways at least. It could be that she’s making a subtle allusion to the idea that, rather than being handed down to us by a benevolent beard in the sky, organised religions have actually been carefully domesticated, nurtured and husbanded by humans. She could be trying to gently suggest that any god shit you feel you absolutely have to indulge in should probably be personal. Or it could be that Wardonia is dangerously thick, permanently wrong, inexplicably smug and generally a shoo-in for the title of “World’s Most Ill-equipped Pedant – 2010″.

I went and read a few more of her comments, to see if I could tell. You’ve probably got a fair idea how that went.

“England’s children’s commissioner says the age of criminal responsibility should be raised from 10 to 12. Do you agree?”

From the age of nine to ten the human brain destroys a lot of brain connections it thinks it no longer needs and no further development of morals or conscience is possible.
Scientists have described this cull as ‘savage’.
Does this idiot think she knows better than scientists in this field? Or, as I suspect, this is the first move towards moving the age of criminal liability to age 25.
Wardonia

Do you think anyone has ever said “You’re not as stupid as you look” to Wardonia? Personally, I doubt it. But I guess there’s a chance she rides around on a tinsel-covered tricycle and has a cock and balls on her chin.

72 Responses to “Wardonia”

  1. on 16 Mar 2010 at 10:05 am   random punter

    I think she’s nine and a half years old.

  2. on 16 Mar 2010 at 10:08 am   Cab Grunter

    And a dog’s cock in her ear.

  3. on 16 Mar 2010 at 10:21 am   A dog's cock

    She told me she was 16.

  4. on 16 Mar 2010 at 10:25 am   Grov

    How does one go about checking to make sure St Paul isn’t actually Jesus? And how often do you have to check?

  5. on 16 Mar 2010 at 10:31 am   john Adair's Gerbil

    My extensive studies of the Bible and Christianity[1] tell me that the requirement for celibacy was introduced by the Church to stop wifes of priests claiming the local church as their inheritance when the priest died. By introducing the concept of celibacy, the Church could maintain control over their substantial assets.

    Also on the upside, priests couldn’t marry 7 year old boys anyway, a patterns that continues to this day.

    [1] The Borgias, on BBC.

  6. on 16 Mar 2010 at 10:43 am   Schroduck

    ‘Under the counter’ magazines should be just that. Walk into any newsagents and you can see what children shouldn’t.
    In smaller newsagents where behind the counter is covered with cigarettes the kids are flicking through such magazines, it isn’t right.
    What people choose to see is their affair, not everyone’s that goes into a shop.

    So if I’m understanding Wardonia here, people should be allowed to choose what they see, unless what they want to see is porn, which should be put with the cigarettes where, err, everyone can see it.

  7. on 16 Mar 2010 at 10:46 am   Cab Grunter

    Hang on, “Celibacy isn’t a Christian idea”? Are we to assume that only something that Christ actually did / endorsed / advertised can be considered a Christian idea? In that case the Vatican isn’t very Christian either because God did not personally sign-off on the blueprints.

    I think we may have a bible literalist on our hands – you know, a “fossils were put there to test our faith” type. “St Paul wasn’t Jebus, therefore he was a cunt. And so am I.”

    Also, I’m fairly sure I visited Wardonia on a chocobo a few years back…

  8. on 16 Mar 2010 at 10:53 am   waynesbrim

    Grov,

    Man was created in God’s image, so, by good design, we all inherit the IsJesus method. Here’s its prototype:

    bool Being::IsJesus(timespec t)

    It returns true if the being is Jesus at time t.

  9. on 16 Mar 2010 at 11:00 am   Jones

    Celibacy isn’t a Christian idea, it comes from St Paul who, last time I checked wasn’t Jesus.
    Wardonia

    Should probably be read as:

    Celibacy isn’t a Christian idea, after all, no-one will fuck me, and some of them aren’t christian.
    Wardonia

    If I’m right…

  10. on 16 Mar 2010 at 11:03 am   Alex

    Surely a Shit Sherlock here.

  11. on 16 Mar 2010 at 11:07 am   Marx & Sparx

    Jesus was here.

  12. on 16 Mar 2010 at 11:28 am   pigfrottage

    I am not feeling too funny today as I am still mourning/celebrating the escaped Koala.

    I was expecting something along the lines of “some of the priests aren’t particularly celibate anyway because they abuse small boys”.

    St Paul said also that a man should have a wife as it is better to marry than to burn with passion. I don’t think you should blame Paul for the weird celibacy rule for catholic priests.

    I went to the vatican, and was disgusted by how opulent it all is.

    Bad sandwich idea – anything and corned beef.

  13. on 16 Mar 2010 at 12:15 pm   john Adair's Gerbil

    Bad sandwich idea – two priests and an 8 year old.

  14. on 16 Mar 2010 at 12:24 pm   Marx @ Sparx

    @ John Adair’s: Collect thy cassock on exiting the vestry my son.

  15. on 16 Mar 2010 at 12:31 pm   Cab Grunter

    @john Adair’s

    Bursar! Another choir boy please – this one’s burst.

  16. on 16 Mar 2010 at 12:50 pm   Rod Wrongnob

    I don’t think there is anything in the Koran about airport scanners, and I’ve looked.

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! It’s a bloke. An old bloke.

    You were right about him having a cock and balls on his chin though.

  17. on 16 Mar 2010 at 1:14 pm   Cab Grunter

    Rod,
    Please issue a *DAILY MAIL* warning if you must link to it!!

  18. on 16 Mar 2010 at 1:18 pm   St. Paul

    Fuck! I’ll get me robe.

  19. on 16 Mar 2010 at 2:11 pm   christonabike

    @Rod- good find! We all knew he was a breathtakingly stupid cunt, but he shamelessly puts a face to the turdspurt on the mail website.
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/debatesearch/debateUserSearch.html?user=3249116

    He’s only been active since Jan 30th of this year though so we can expect him to mature like a fine wine that’s been shat in.

  20. on 16 Mar 2010 at 2:17 pm   beet133

    Corned beef is lovely.

  21. on 16 Mar 2010 at 3:08 pm   Cab Grunter

    From Are UKIP right to vow to ban the burqa?

    Posted by: wardonia on 14/02/2010 at 07:55am

    Yes, it isn’t an Islamic tradition just because few, a very few, people wear it.
    More Muslims bellow into mobile phones in public than wear burquas and that isn’t an Islamic tradition either.

    Things that aren’t Muslim traditions:
    Phone bellowing
    Bellowing in public
    Bellowing at cats
    Generic bellowing
    Bellowing on the Daily Mail website
    Driving
    Buddhism
    Pepperami
    Fisting
    Waitrose Organic Chopped Italian Tomatoes, 400g
    Starfleet
    Glee
    Bridget Jones 2: The Edge of Reason
    Mini Kievs
    Toyota
    Chris de Burgh

  22. on 16 Mar 2010 at 3:10 pm   Cab Grunter

    Chris de Burgh, bellowing

  23. on 16 Mar 2010 at 3:20 pm   Pierre De La Resistance

    News Are the British living in the most draconian society in the free world?Posted by: wardonia on 14/02/2010 at 07:57 am
    Yes.

    An extraordinarily well thought out and argued piece of discourse there.

  24. on 16 Mar 2010 at 3:21 pm   Pierre De La Resistance

    Formatting failure. Sorry everyone.

  25. on 16 Mar 2010 at 3:27 pm   Mr Cat

    Check this out. The Ghost of John Galt (a regular t*at of the highest order)is thriving on the removal of word limits.

    My god he’s written an epic. Don’t bother reading it – I never did – it’s really bound to be full of stupidness. I’m just putting it here to gawp at how long it is.

    888. At 09:36am on 16 Mar 2010, The Ghosts of John Galt wrote:
    872. At 10:46pm on 15 Mar 2010, I Love the Pope wrote:
    The GoJG responds!
    Interesting argument presented in defence of the indefensible! Lets see if we can shed the light of pure reasoned argument and logic onto this ‘explanation’!

    //Catholics are also rational thinking human beings. Catholics do not reject the faculty of the intellect as you suggest. Benedictine monasteries in Europe used to be the primary centres of learning, and Monks were almost the only people who were literate. The Benedictine monks used to educate everyone else in the sciences and the arts. The Catholic monks also translated all of the works of science, mathematics, and art from Arabic and Ancient Greek into Latin and other European languages, so that they could be read and used by Europeans. Even now many of the world’s best universities are run by Catholic Clergy, for example the Pontifical Gregorian University in Rome, and Loyola University in Chicago. And many Jesuit Priests are amongst the world’s leading astronomers, who run the Vatican observatory.//
    I would not deny the fact that ALL human beings are ‘rational thinking beings’ by nature. As I stated this is the essence of humanity. But in accepting the ‘Doctrine of Sacrifice’ one is accepting the impotence of ones own rational volition and thus accepting the premise that Religious Dogma is a superior judge of ‘reality’ than your own ability to rationally judge the meaning of your existence in a ‘real sense’. ‘Intellectual’ endeavours may involve an individuals ‘rational mind’ but those ‘primary centres of learning’ by their very nature have an a priori premise based on an interpretation of ‘reality’ and everything derived directly from the Mystics spiritualist ‘Doctrine of Sacrifice’ (or Religious Dogma)– And therefore, any ‘knowledge’ gained from such understanding is a fraud! It is a fake illusion of true knowledge. By its very irrational premises and assumptions about the existence of God such learning is not genuine. Catholics like any preacher or follower of religious or other forms of indoctrination are dealing in illusions – accepting the ‘unreality’ dictated by the omnipresent knowledge of an illusionary God (or interpretation of a Stranger) – it denies the self – denies reality – denies your own rational mind to judge itself – offering as a substitute for your own rational judgements the ‘thoughts and pronouncements’ of mystics!

    //Catholic Clergy, even now, are amongst the most highly educated and intelligent people in the world. The Catholic Dominican Friar, Thomas Crean, wrote an excellent book called “A Catholic Replies to Professor Dawkins.” In it he responds point by point to Richard Dawkins book “The God Delusion”, and demonstrates how professor Dawkins is wrong.//
    How is it even possible to argue against reality? A person cannot demonstrate a argument or proof is wrong by appeals to unreality –illusions –mystic dogma or any other irrelevant mystic spiritual relativism, when reality is based on simple absolutes! No mystic religious preacher of complex illusions can offer a rational argument to deny a simple absolute reality. It will always make appeals to the complexities of mysticism – not science or reasoned logic – they accept the existence of God as a substitute for rational volition and always must refer back to the words of God! So the only reasonable way to maintain any logical consistency in such arguments must be within the framework of belief in God. It is belief and faith masquerading as Knowledge. It is ‘unreality’ masquerading as the real. It is absolutes masquerading as relativism; it is simplicity masquerading as complex – With the singular aim of creating confusion in the rational minds of the unaware! To induce ‘blankout’ and, blindly to accept as substitute ‘belief and faith’, without the necessity to engage in ‘rational volition’. It’s an easy substitute and perversion to accept for those who seek automatic knowledge, instinctive action, intuitive certainty. For those running from themselves, from their personal struggle to face reality, to come to terms with doubts and daily struggles, to fake and evade, in desperate attempts to escape from their responsibility for a volitional consciousness!
    Of course the ‘clergy’ and various other peddlers of different brands of the ‘Doctrine of Sacrifice’ are ‘clever’ little deceivers of the minds of humanity – they must be in order to accomplish and maintain such a devious method of destroying the power of every individual human being to determine their own destiny!
    //Many of the most brilliant minds in history have been Catholics. The best examples include St. Thomas Aquinas and St. John of the Cross. The works of St John of the Cross, including ‘Ascent of Mount Carmel’ and ‘Dark Night of the Soul’ are regarded by academics to be amongst the most intelligent books ever written in the Spanish language. The greatest Catholic minds include the 33 Doctors of the Church, whose biographies are outlined in a book by that title by Christopher Rengers. The mystical Doctors of the Church include St John of the Cross, St Catherine of Siena, and St Theresa of Avila. Their books explain how you can come to experience God directly. ‘The Interior Castle’ by St Theresa of Avila is a good starting point. She explains how you can come to see and experience God mystically.//
    What can we say – brilliant minds of the Elites employed in the destruction of the rational minds of humanity to serve the purpose of that Elite! None will deliver salvation or greater understanding of the rational self – merely divert humanity from its true purpose and self determined destiny! With the rational mind uncorrupted by such devious deceptions as Religious Dogma – Humanity could ‘create’ its own truly beautiful world! But Mystics will merely petrify the world in its religious dogma, the irrational beliefs and faiths that stifle human progress, destroys’ our ability to create and allows others to assume responsibility for yourself! And Rational Human beings have no actual ‘need’ to experience God – which at its essence is destructive to the souls and minds of humanity! Anything which appeals to ‘Mysticism’ is just ‘wishful delusions’ – Unless something is grounded in reality – in the real – it is illusion! Just ‘make believe’ fairytales –
    //I have seen God using the method outlined in ‘The Interior Castle’. So I actually know God exists. It is not just a belief or a fairy tale. Try it, and you will see God too. :) ///

    You cannot see God – The reality of such a conception cannot possibly exist! In an unreal world of illusion your may believe you see God – but you cannot know you see God. And your statement is just further proof of the delusional irrational, illogical, emotive, behaviour of followers of the Doctrine of Sacrifice!

    And I would not suggest you read some book or other, I would suggest you check your premises, check your beliefs and faith, check your arguments and see if you can discover the truth using your own rational volition to determine reality! ;-)

    Two plus two is always four – unless you accept the ‘doctrine of sacrifice’ – then two plus two becomes whatever some mystic preacher tells you God pronounces as something to believe, in faith.

  26. on 16 Mar 2010 at 3:31 pm   Mr Cat

    erm or is that someone else blurbing away and the ghost of Galt is replying to them?

    Either way it’s epic.

    Sorry.

  27. on 16 Mar 2010 at 4:02 pm   ligne

    shorter GoJG — much much shorter GoJG, in fact:

    “religion is about crushing individual thought. i know this because ayn rand said so, therefore it is de facto true, methinks.”

  28. on 16 Mar 2010 at 4:04 pm   Jones

    Blimey! A Cuger Brant* in the making?

    *I can’t remember how he names himself after all the variations used here so I’m guessing.

  29. on 16 Mar 2010 at 4:37 pm   braymeswin

    There are a lot of ‘words’ in ‘inverted commas’ up there. That usually means that the author’s ‘opinions’ are ‘made of shit’.

  30. on 16 Mar 2010 at 4:59 pm   braymeswin

    Out of curiosity, I ran the text through a quick-n-dirty filter to yank out the text in inverted commas. This is what came out.

    ‘explanation’
    ‘rational thinking beings’
    ‘Doctrine of Sacrifice’
    ‘reality’
    ‘real sense’
    ‘Intellectual’
    ‘rational mind’
    ‘primary centres of learning’
    ‘reality’
    ‘Doctrine of Sacrifice’
    ‘knowledge’
    ‘unreality’
    ‘thoughts and pronouncements’
    ‘unreality’
    ‘blankout’
    ‘belief and faith’
    ‘rational volition’
    ‘clergy’
    ‘Doctrine of Sacrifice’
    ‘clever’
    ‘Ascent of Mount Carmel’
    ‘Dark Night of the Soul’
    ‘The Interior Castle’
    ‘create’
    ‘need’
    ‘Mysticism’
    ‘wishful delusions’
    ‘make believe’
    ‘The Interior Castle’
    ‘doctrine of sacrifice’

  31. on 16 Mar 2010 at 5:11 pm   Oaf

    Waitrose Organic Chopped Italian Tomatoes, 400g

    Surely they come in 417g tins.

  32. on 16 Mar 2010 at 5:22 pm   Ugeine

    Does Richard Littlejohn count as Jesus?

    There’s a delicious irony in a Labour transport minister getting caught in the kind of chaos which afflicts millions of ordinary motorists every day of the week.

    Maybe politicians are so cosseted in the back of their taxpayer-funded limousines they fail to notice the battlefield which passes for Britain’s road network.

    I’d imagine it’s easy to notice how bad Britain’s road network is lately from your vantage point in Southern Florida.

  33. on 16 Mar 2010 at 6:03 pm   Shackleton

    @braymeswin – I ran the text through the quick and dirty filter of my mind; here’s what came out:

    ‘Bollocks’

  34. on 16 Mar 2010 at 6:14 pm   Philbert

    Maybe politicians are so cosseted in the back of their taxpayer-funded limousines they fail to notice the battlefield which passes for Britain’s road network.

    Do limousines not travel by road any more then? Perhaps Richard Littlejohn’s limo floats through the sky on a cushion of pure bell-ended racism.

  35. on 16 Mar 2010 at 6:40 pm   AndyS

    Oaf

    Waitrose Organic Chopped Italian Tomatoes, 400g

    Surely they come in 417g tins.

    oohh hark at phill jupitus over there.

  36. on 16 Mar 2010 at 7:21 pm   Massive Propagating Bee Extinction

    I’m not reading that, Mr Cat. It’s just too awful, and although I’d say it was too early in the day for that shit, the fucking Rapture could have passed, I could be left on Earth will Pat Robertson and Rush Limbaugh, and it would never be late enough and I could never have so much time that I’d want to read that.

    Having said that, to check if a Saint Paul is a Jesus, you turn them over and blow softly in the groin area, like you’re checking a pigeon.

  37. on 16 Mar 2010 at 8:20 pm   [NutterBrackets]

    Is Wardonia in The Borg?

    I don’t even fucking like Star Trek. I bet if I could be bothered to zoom in on that reflection in his glasses I would see something disturbing, Melanie Phillips doing a Dirty Den or something.

  38. on 16 Mar 2010 at 10:53 pm   Pedobear

    She told me she was 16.

    The catholic church “loves The loLi ANd doEsNT afraid ov aNyTHing”

  39. on 16 Mar 2010 at 10:53 pm   Rich

    Textbook. Person is an idiot. Point that out. Suggest they look stupid as well as being an idiot. Provide short conceptual offering of sillylookingness. Job done. Less is more.

  40. on 17 Mar 2010 at 12:21 am   funny peculiar

    From the age of nine to ten the human brain destroys a lot of brain connections it thinks it no longer needs and no further development of morals or conscience is possible.
    Wardonia

    Ahhhh! THAT’ll explain why all my best work on the moral imperatives of existentialism got such bad marks from Mrs Sixsmith in Primary School. The silly old biddy was way past her intellectual prime and just stonewalling progress.

  41. on 17 Mar 2010 at 1:40 am   Cab "strummin' me plums" Grunter

    Oaf:

    Waitrose Organic Chopped Italian Tomatoes, 400g

    Surely they come in 417g tins.

    No, I checked on Ocado first. 400g. You cannot comprehend the depths my sadness will reach.

    Andy S:

    oohh hark at phill jupitus over there.

    Phill Jupitus isn’t testing chopped tomatoes; he’s reviewing various tinned whole toms in juice. (Sadness depth increased by 47 fathoms, Captain.) #tomsontoast

  42. on 17 Mar 2010 at 1:42 am   Cab "strummin' me plums" Grunter

    Reviewing what I have just posted: what a cunt I am. Sleep time.

  43. on 17 Mar 2010 at 7:18 am   one of the eds

    Five pounds to anyone who can work one out. I can’t tell if Lori is a twat or not. It’s from a column in the Times about Army Generals and politics and something…

    lori smith wrote:
    The Chief of the staff must be who the chooses
    which would be somebody except,a full, member of the, national security council,…
    4 that statement is totally, ridiculous.
    Remember that the tides can turn at any point& it is up to the people who rules the,
    not crazy 77 year olds and car groupies,
    not 3 crazy gun toting security guards,
    not two timing theives back and forth,
    but real honest intelligent people rule the
    one on the train who stands for justice,
    not vienna, not nina, not chuck,

    but the honest collective society as one should elect the chief of the staff for me
    to feel at peace but that is just my opinion

    http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/comment/columnists/guest_contributors/article7064623.ece

    Seriously. WTF?

    My favorite comment was this one though:

    charlie tan wrote:
    Since Roman times Rulers have sought to control Generals for very good reasons.

    Ooh Charlie, you are so wise. Tell me more about the olden days.

  44. on 17 Mar 2010 at 9:48 am   Pirate Pete

    In the interests of recycling the council limits collectable rubbish, so each week I join the queue of dozens of motorists waiting at the local dump. No public transport, so the children have to be driven to school. Spies watching you exercise your dogs so I drive 20 miles each day to take my dogs to a private field. Bicycle? Why not commit suicide which is the same result. We need cheaper fuel. What is the point of having so many wars in the middle east if we can’t have their oil?

    One from ‘Davidethics’ in the ‘Can you cope with record petrol prices’ thread on HYS… some reasonable arguments there, mixed in with some complete insanity, like shoving a handful of fruit loops into a bowl of muesli. A 20 mile round trip to avoid curtain twitchers? Poor David

  45. on 17 Mar 2010 at 10:26 am   Massive Propagating Bee Extinction

    Davidethics seems to live in some kind of bizarre world where you can’t leave your dogshit in a public park or you’ll get fined, where you’re encouraged to recycle shit by putting all the recyclable shit in a separate bin, where you can’t cycle because all the drivers are lunatics so you drive instead, and where you complain about having no public transport when you live in the middle of fucking nowhere and spend your time doing fuck all about there being no public transport for the kids and driving instead.

    In short, Davidethics lives in the real world, and I present to you a great example of how batshit insanity – and extreme bitterness about your place in the world and fear of The Powers That Be – takes ordinary things that ordinary people experience every single day and rolls them into a steaming pile of “What the fuck” and “Pass the fucking valium”.

  46. on 17 Mar 2010 at 11:15 am   Oaf

    What is the point of having so many wars in the middle east if we can’t have their oil?

    Best question ever. Perhaps he should ask it on Question Time.

  47. on 17 Mar 2010 at 11:15 am   Mr Cat

    Spies watching you exercise your dogs so I drive 20 miles each day to take my dogs to a private field.

    Shurely a poop-a-scoop would work out cheaper in the long run. And it wouldn’t mean a nasty surprise for other people later either.

    Or does he mean that MIF have an active interest in his dogwalking patterns

  48. on 17 Mar 2010 at 11:45 am   Shackleton

    @Oaf – it is, isn’t it? If you heard it in isolation you’d presume irony, but reading his prior missive, you realise he’s deadly fucking serious. I wonder if he’s dropped any other epic doozies like that, e.g. “What is the point in multiculturalism if we can’t have their women?”

  49. on 17 Mar 2010 at 11:59 am   dirigible

    How does one go about checking to make sure St Paul isn’t actually Jesus? And how often do you have to check?

    Prayer.

    But God can change the answer at any time (being 1. omnipotent and 2. really fond of jerking people’s chains) so you’ll need to check back regularly. Say once a week, with a group of similarly curious individuals.

  50. on 17 Mar 2010 at 12:19 pm   Rod Wrongnob

    “lori smith” is Derek Dick, i.e., Fish from out of Marillion.

    Davidethics is just something that smells of fish.

  51. on 17 Mar 2010 at 1:08 pm   marnarama

    @Oaf I’m going to be in the Question Time audience tomorrow wishing I had the balls to ask that question.

  52. on 17 Mar 2010 at 1:57 pm   Goldstein

    Shurely a poop-a-scoop would work out cheaper in the long run.

    Don’t you get it? If you buy a poop-a-scoop, the terrorists win.

  53. on 17 Mar 2010 at 2:06 pm   Doe, Adair, a female deer

    There’s a delicious irony in a Labour transport minister getting caught in the kind of chaos which afflicts millions of ordinary motorists every day of the week.

    No I come to think of it, you never see Richard Littlejohn and Alanis Morissette together do you?

  54. on 17 Mar 2010 at 3:03 pm   Loumo

    Out of interest, what made you think Wardonia was a woman? I admit it’s a bit of a girly name, bit like Cynthia and Maria, but surely HYS is equal opportunity for all mentals?

  55. on 17 Mar 2010 at 3:12 pm   SoulBoy

    @marmarama

    I’m going to be in the Question Time audience tomorrow wishing I had the balls to ask that question.

    A waste when the single most important issue facing democracy today is the removal of the RECOMMEND button!!!!! Now if you were to ask a question about that…

  56. on 17 Mar 2010 at 3:15 pm   Ed aka Lurkshire Bubble-Hunt

    There’s a delicious irony in a Labour transport minister getting caught in the kind of chaos which afflicts millions of ordinary motorists every day of the week.

    No I come to think of it, you never see Richard Littlejohn and Alanis Morissette together do you?

    It’s like a gay-ee-ayyyy, on his wedding day…

  57. on 17 Mar 2010 at 3:23 pm   DC

    Who needs the age of criminal liability to be raised, I thought the highest court in the land was Admiralty Law?

    Which is why I’m still a Pirate.

  58. on 17 Mar 2010 at 3:46 pm   Schroduck

    Spies watching you exercise your dogs so I drive 20 miles each day to take my dogs to a private field.

    It makes a lot more sense if you assume “exercising your dogs” is a Babelfish-mangled way of saying “dogging”.

  59. on 17 Mar 2010 at 4:15 pm   Loumo

    Maybe he’s just inviting some young friends to look at his puppies.

  60. on 17 Mar 2010 at 4:49 pm   Shackleton

    If he loves exercising his dogs in his private field so much, why doesn’t he go live there?

    It’s warm enough outside for what I’ve got on, thanks.

  61. on 17 Mar 2010 at 5:12 pm   Cab Grunter

    Maybe he takes the dogs there and sticks his cock in one of them’s ear.

  62. on 17 Mar 2010 at 5:13 pm   Steve

    What is the point of having so many wars in the middle east if we can’t have their oil?

    Bad news squire. The yanks got there first (for once) got first dips and picked the oil.
    It aint all bad though, just check the price of Tesco’s falafel – super bargain.

  63. on 17 Mar 2010 at 5:14 pm   Steve

    No I come to think of it, you never see Richard Littlejohn and Alanis Morissette together do you?

    Or Littlejohn and a Cunt!

  64. on 17 Mar 2010 at 5:17 pm   Steve

    Time for some proper Science.

    2 planks: Check
    5 Rusty Nails: Check
    Jaggy Bonnet: Check
    Angry Crowd: Check

    Waiting for Richard…..

  65. on 17 Mar 2010 at 5:18 pm   Steve

    If the last 3 posts appear somewhat surreal, I’ve been struggling to get my quotes working.

    Please file me under Permanently bewildered.

  66. on 17 Mar 2010 at 5:26 pm   Oaf

    I want a tinsel covered tricycle.

  67. on 17 Mar 2010 at 5:45 pm   SoulBoy

    Now I come to think of it, you never see Richard Littlejohn and Alanis Morissette together do you?

    Or Littlejohn and a Cunt!

    On the contrary, he was seen many times with Paul Dacre before he left for sunnier climes

  68. on 17 Mar 2010 at 6:07 pm   Schroduck

    @Steve

    <blockquote>Blah blah blah.</blockquote>

    Blah blah blah

    That’s the magic trick.

  69. on 17 Mar 2010 at 7:18 pm   Massive Propagating Bee Extinction

    IT’S NOT MAGIC. IT’S SCIENCE.

  70. on 17 Mar 2010 at 9:37 pm   SoulBoy

    Is an SYBer ghosting for the Page 3 Stunnas in The Sun’s “News In Briefs”?

    A few years ago The Sun decided to shine a light on the vestless ladies by letting them bring their thoughts on the news of the day in a couple of punchy sentences but it was pretty dry fayre – a two sentence summary of The Sun Says five pages later. Recently though things have started to change…

    I can only imagine that one day someone was bored and decided to perk up the feature. The last few months have seen the likes of Rosie, 19, of Middlesex referencing Greek mythology and Sam, 24, from Manchester quoting John Stuart Mill, usually with a little “aren’t I cute” addition at the end to lighten the mood. Examples can be found here – http://www.newsinbriefs.net/ (Work safe)

    However today we were treated to the delightful Danni, 23, from Coventry using that favourite HYS tactic of quoting Orwell to emphasise a point about Gordon Clown’s ZaNuLieBore Junta -

    DANNI found herself of one mind with George Orwell after hearing half the Cabinet is bank rolled by union Unite. She said: “He wrote that much of left-wing thought is a kind of playing with fire by people who don’t know fire is hot – exactly what I was thinking.”

    A good attempt from whichever undercover BBC/Guardian activist managed to sneak onto The Sun’s staff but I am outing you right now!

  71. on 18 Mar 2010 at 7:31 pm   Massive Propagating Bee Extinction

    Yeah, but there’s no tits.

  72. on 20 Mar 2010 at 1:37 am   Bugrat

    Incidentally, wasn’t it the Daily Star that had ‘Stunnas’?

    ..it’s the dirty raincoat with the stains down the front..