I’ve Got A Pound That Says Fuck Off
By GainsbourgAbout something called mephedrone or some such. Never heard of it myself, of course. I don’t move in such circles.
I was under the impression that Ministers where supposed to govern the country and not rely on advisers. It is quite simple a Minister stands up and says its banned until such time the awaited report is produced when a further decision will be taken. Those that want to embroil children into the shady world of drugs and supply plant food to them can then have the option of going to court and ask for a Judical Review of the Minister’s decision. I’ve got a pound that says they wont go to court. I’ve got another pound that says there isn’t a minister in this government that’s brave enough to take the decision.
Phil Davies
Fuck it, why not just ban everything in the world until someone can present a watertight case for it not being illegal? Just to be on the safe side.
The case against shouting at squirrels:
- Noise pollution
- Squirrel distress
- Sore throat
The case for shouting at squirrels:
- Erm
Based on the evidence put before the court, shouting at squirrels shall remain an offence. Now we’ll hear the Crown versus Lightly Tickling The Inside Of One’s Own Forearm.
43 Responses to “I’ve Got A Pound That Says Fuck Off”
He’s got two pounds? Flash cunt
I’ve got a pound but it only says “decus et tutamen”.
But I digress.
Phil Davies is obviously a massive cock. Mephedrone is not actually plant food – it is sold as plant food to get around laws prohibiting the sale of untested compounds for human consumption. You should at least be aware of the facts before you make a comment, otherwise you make yourself look like a total cunt – like Phil did. If I had a pound for every ill-informed piece of twat-mongery that Phil has posted, I could bet on the outcome of every minsterial decision for years.
Phil Davies has two pounds of pick & mix, it’s all that’s left of the 10lbs he bought the day his local Woolies closed for good.
Of course It was actually 4.5 kg, but that’s metric & Phil doesn’t go there.
He’s eaten all the good ones, the soft centres & he’s now left with just the toffees which have gone hard & are playing havoc with his dentures.
Sadly the restraining order prevents him from giving out any more to the local kids.
I’m sure shouting at squirrels has a therapeutic value. It may even help prevent suicides.
[hey, if everyone else can put forward their untested gobshite, why can't I?]
Not among squirrels, it doesn’t.
I’ve got a pound that says nothing because it is an inanimate object. I’ve got another pound that is gurning its tits off because it has been taking mephedrone.
The third pound I am saving for my holidays.
I’m in Ireland, can I have some of that action with a €1.12 ???
p.s. I love squirrels so leave ‘em alone!!!!
Fucking grey squirrels coming over here, taking our beloved reds’ habitats, stealing the food from the bird table I have set up purely for the benefit of good British NON-MIGRATORY birds. Too right I shout at the little bastards and there is no way this PC Gone Mad government is going to stop me.
Pah. A good shouting at is exactly what these namby pamby, lefty loony squirrels need. That’s if you want them to live, mind…
I’ve got a pound that says if I embroil a child into the sady world of feeding mephedrone to squirrels, Phil Davies will still be a massive twat.
shady, even.
taunton-hobbit says:
Things to learn:
* Don’t introduce field mushrooms or foreign objects to your body. They will kill you.
* Humans are experimental and, if not properly supervised, will kill themselves.
But not before it’s stripped them of their birthright, taken all the jobs, soaked up all the council houses and made Christmas illegal.
Does that include lemonade?
This intrepid internaut was certainly worried enough to ask the users of Yahoo that very question (sort of): http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090519103744AAHEe6z
The good people of Shipley, must be so proud of their MP.
In fact, skimming that Wikipedia article and reminding myself of the non-stop parade of unutterable cuntishness that has constituted his career, it probably is him in the OP. Bet he claims those two pounds on expenses as well.
“The good people of Shipley, must be so proud of their MP.”
His dad’s a massive cunt as well
Sod the squirrels. They’re immigrunts. Each and everyone of of them has a mansion in Belgravia, a private jet, a luxury yacht, a Rolls-Royce and free nuts until the end of time. All at the taxpayers’ expense!!!11!.
But have they got a floaty cloud in a jar?
@random punter
No, but it does often cause infertility in lesbians who squirt it into their fallopian tubes at university.
@ Andy K-B
Thanks Andy – that’s what was concerning me. I knew I could rely on you to get to the heart of the enquiry.
I guess all of our resident lesbian contributors will be breathing a sigh of relief at that. When they come up for breath, of course!
God that Philip Davis MP is a bellend. I can just picture him blacked up in his ASDA uniform, doing jazz hands and asking “What? Why is this offensive?”.
Philip Davis MP, what a tremendous fucktard
I think we need to cut Phil some slack. He’s treasurer of the All-Party Parliamentary Flag Group. That’s gotta be a high-pressure job, he must be under a lot of stress.
I see that Keith Vaz is a member too. Do you think they have like a fresher’s fair for new MPs and they go round signing up for anythign where there’s somebody nice on the stand or you get a free pen (or flag)?
I also note that Phil publicly stated that he didn’t want to be a shadow minister or anything so he could continue to speak for his constituents. Bet that was a load of Big Dave’s mind.
Phil Davies MP has been a legendary bellcheese round these parts for a good while now. I’m glad his fame is spreading at last, and that other people can begin to enjoy the many and varied delights of his unrelenting pompous twattery.
I love tickling the inside of my own forearms. Thought it was just me.
Looking at his wiki, Phil only seems to have ‘won’ a seat as the fresh prince of Belize bought it for the little shit stain of a man.
Did you know that although bellowing at squirrels is not a Muslim tradition, shouting at them is?
I had two pounds…
On Kauto fucking Star, fucking nag looked like it was trying to jump on ketamine, they should ban that stuff now.
“Those that want to embroil children into the shady world of drugs… have the option of going to court…”
Of course! How silly of us not to think of it before. Because if embroilers-of- children are known for anything, it’s their strict adherence to the letter of the law. Especially those in other countries who sell it online.(the Chinese are sticklers)
I think it’s worth criminalising hundreds of thousands of young people – children if you will – in order to make a futile point, and prop up the drinks industry.
And before you start saying ‘one child dies a day because of alcohol and no one puts their kids on TV – bear in mind they’re working class, not photogenic, and probably smoke.
So the next time you find yourself thinking ‘Phil ‘Two Pounds’ Davies is an opportunistic barrel of yesterdays cum, a one man rimcheese mountain’ just remember, banning works – especially if you’re a drug dealer.
(yours, off to China with a suitcase)
I find Phil Davies’s logic quite attractive, actually, when compared to Simon Hill’s:
(oh, that looks terrible. Sorry, was all distracted about how many of life’s leesons I’m likely to survive following the Simon Hill Lifeplan.)
“Prohibition is an awful flop.
We like it.
It can’t stop what it’s meant to stop.
We like it.
It’s left a trail of graft and slime,
It don’t prohibit worth a dime,
It’s filled our land with vice and crime.
Nevertheless, we’re for it.”
That was Franklin Pierce Adams writing in 1931!
I’ve got three pound, and that gets me a blowjob from Phil’s smackhead daughter.
I’ve got a pound that says “The art of letters will come to an end before A.D. 2000. I shall survive as a curiosity.”
It’s a bit of a downer to be honest.
@Kelvin
If you like 2000AD so much, why don’t you go live there?
What’s wrong with 2000AD ? Good comic that.
Ah, there’s my Batcape.
Damn, I changed Phil’s nationality to “English (not British)” on Wikipedia, but it’s already been reverted. I thought it would be subtle enough to sit there for a while
Phil paints a simplified picture of parliamentary process here. To pass a bill, it is not enough for a minister to propose it while standing up. He or she must also say “starting from… NOW!”, while making the assertive but camp hand gesture used by Ozzie rules football referees. Otherwise, the house must go through the tedium of a debate, a vote or whatever.
He’s not wrong. I’ve been trying to tell the world how moreish they are for years. Anyone got this guy’s email address?
Surely Phil, you have 453.59 grams that says they wont go to court and another 453.59 grams that says there isn’t a minister in this government that’s brave enough to take the decision?
If you’re going to be a PC maytr Phil, why limit yourself?