Thanks to Steve for further destroying my faith in humanity.
Should the police scrap stop and search? The Equality Commission, bless them, has said that black and Asian men are being unfairly targeted, and that it doesn’t work to prevent crime anyway. What do the great British public think?
this ‘commission’ is talking out of its behind. because all Asians and black people have to do is call the race card police refuse to deal with them
Kaiskune
As a stinking forrin’ myself, I was wondering exactly what the race card was and how, exactly, it should be called upon. After failed experimentation with my half of the Power Sword and the cat, and after I inadvertently raised Mumm-Ra the Ever-Living with my ouija board, I decided to look into it using facts and shit. And some posts from HYS, because apparently they’re the same thing.
It’s for the common good, because these race cards sound handy – they appear to have the power to get the police to leave you alone, but apparently aren’t magic at all. Mysterious. Fortunately, No Victim No Crime is here to clear things up a bit:
I carry a card with this on it everywhere i go just in case..
STOP AND SEARCH CARD
I pledge to waste your time if you decide to waste mine
Let your legal representatives know your wishes and keep this card with you at all times
In the event of a stop and search being intrusive, unlawful or malicious I pledge to issue a formal complaint to the relevant Police Professional Standards Department.
As these complaints are investigated by fellow police officers redress is unlikely to be forthcoming. I therefore pledge to pursue the issue through the IPCC and if the situation permits to issue civil proceedings against the chief constable or commissioner of the relevant police force, seeking an admission of liability and damages.
Regardless of the outcome, you will have your time wasted for wasting mine.
No Victim No Crime
Ah, so it’s literally a card – like Monopoly, right? Get out of jail free? Community chest? Have I won £100 in a beauty contest? Please say it’s so! I want to be pretty and rich.
Unfortunately, the Monopoly idea was wishful thinking on my part, and I can’t actually buy fags with this green £20 note. On the bright side, I don’t smoke.
The equality watchdog creates more social tension than any amount of stop and searches could ever do. The police stop and search those that they deem fit to stop and search. Some races simply like to complain, blacks and asians are some of them. When are they going to stop playing the race card.
Wiggles Bottomley
Ohhhhhhh… we play the race card. Top Trumps, right? Black beats police. Funny that – I always thought it was the other way around.
And trust the blacks and the asians to take a perverse delight in complaining. You’re not supposed to fucking enjoy it. It’s the white man’s burden and you’re supposed to do it through clenched teeth, while ramming a toby jug full of angry (British) bees up your poop-flue.
I don’t think there should be arbitrary stop & search powers at all.
The racism card is just a red herring. The whole concept of just being able to randomly stop & search someone without a good cause just looks like a police state.
Paul
Ah, shit. Now it’s a fish.
You know, Paul, I somehow don’t think that they’re randomly stopping people – not even the card-carrying racists, or whoever the fuck carries the race card (fishmongers presumably?). I think, right – and just go with me for a second here – I’m guessing, right, that the stops aren’t random at all. The stops are, in fact, targeting those people most likely to enjoy a nice game of Top Trumps – the coloureds.
I say coloureds. I mean criminals. Right, Luke?
Statistically, young, black or Asian males are more likely to commit crime, stopping and searching them due to the statistical probability that they are more likely to be in possession of illegal items is not racism, it’s common sense.
Luke
Right.
69 Responses to “The Ace of Spades”
Common sense is brilliant like that. It handily validates all of your prejudices and negates any “evidence” brought to bear by someone who disagrees. Frankly I’m surprised we haven’t just sacked off the justice system and banged up anyone who looks a bit shifty. It’s common sense that if they look shifty, they must have a reason to look shifty.
Really?
If SYB ever cashes in and starts selling t-shirts,
should be one of the first.
Ah, Luke, that will be why our prisons are full of white people…
Statistically, black / asian youths may commit more crime per head of ethnic population, but white youths commit more per head of national population, simply because there are more of them.
It makes better sense to randomly stop indigenous English(not British) people as there’s more of them.
If I’m right.
I’m confused.
Luke implies that anyone needing a darker foundation than ‘Beige Glow’ is ‘statistically’ more like to commit crime, (a ‘statistic’ I presume is based on prison demographics; a sound basis for opinion as the judicial system is obviously completely unbiased ), but Kaiskune says that the police refuse to deal with them.
So….. how do the ‘young, black or Asian males’ actually get into prison? Is this also some form of judical magic?
Luke and Kaiskune’s arguments are otherwise so astute and convincing, I cannot concede that they are actually talking out of their poo-shoots.
You’re right, one statistical anomaly (tragic as it may be) proves that the reverse must be true. Let’s not discuss Cynthia Jarrett, that would be inconvenient.
Actually, the stop and search card does exist…
http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2009/feb/09/liberty-central-stop-and-search-police
So generalising about a group based on some sensational events is A-Ok in some instances?
Only if the sensational event happens to a white person, apparently.
“Luke” is Rod Liddle in disguise.
This race card isn’t much use apparently as although it is “always” being played, it hasn’t stopped black people being six times more likely to be stopped and searched than whites people.
PS – I think you’ll find that the crowd that killed Blakelock was an agreeably multi-cultural mixture.
Yes, I knew it did. It was much funnier and much more original when it wasn’t copied verbatim from somewhere else.
It was also much funnier when you knew the idea wasn’t just a funny joke about the idiocy of stop and search and instead became a reason for No Victim No Crime to sit there and repeatedly refresh the page just in case someone told him that “his” “joke” was hilarious.
Fortunately, it gave me the perfect opportunity to wank on about there being an actual race card.
Looks like Rod Liddle (or Liddle Rod as we hilariously call him round here)has been reduced to pseudonymous posting on HYS under the name ‘Luke’.
A sort of, inconvenient truth, Kelvin? I bet you’re pro-AGW as well…
Those Stop and Search cards are from Mark Thomas, when he talked about them they sounded cool and made you 1 wif your bro, now I have shredded mine as that dude is a twat
No idea how this helps if you are stopped by the filth but here’s the race card for the 2.00 at Fontwell should you need to play it. A monkey e/w on Manele Bay since you asked.
So you’re saying it’s not Ok to generalise if the sensational events happened to a black person? Isn’t that what Dizzy did?
Maybe he’s not as funny as he was, but somehow I don’t think that the intention from MT was to have people carry the card around with them – I think that was probably the genius idea of one of the Graun’s flatulent, vacant sub-editors. Because it’s in italics. In the normal scheme of things, that denotes either in-phrase emphasis or an alternative voice.
I’m loath to have this turn into a discussion on the merits – or lack thereof – of MT. Please note that the real hilarity to be found surrounding that card is the internet hardmen in the comments suggesting that they either have given this card to the police, or who think that this card would do any good except get a roll of the eyes and a big fucking sigh from the copper concerned.
Yes, I’m sorry I resorted to a stereotype that non-white youths are disproportionately stopped and searched and have often been on the receiving end of violence dished out by the police.
However, not as sorry as I am that you can’t separate reality and taking the piss.
Okay, for your convenience, replace “black” with “white NZ school teacher”. Now you can be all edgy, current and international.
No, it’s not. Perhaps you should take a look at what he wrote again. And/or stop taking logic lessons from Daily Mail leader writers.
I’m not in the mood to do data mining but the only figures I can find separated by race are the Unlawful Killing Verdicts which show that since 1990 the number of suspicious deaths in police custody leading to inquest or prosecution are 2:1 more likely to happen to black people. But that doesn’t account for acquitals or open verdicts and I can’t be bothered to correlate those.
But on the other hand, PC Blakelock.
Yeah, well, let’s not get into the other issues in the Blakelock case – handily listed on Wikipedia – about the police tampering with evidence in order to convict the young black men.
Let’s just say that stereotypes are useful and some of my best friends are police officers. So I can’t be racist.
So if I drop a link to an article about Delbo King will that restore the balance of SYB?
Anyway, you’re all wrong.
It’s actually some sort of sheep.
Personally, I’ve yet to see any convincing evidence for the existence of black/asian people, young or otherwise. They’re just another threat invented by the media in their effort to undermine the police and government.
You aren’t. If black and asian youths commit proportionally more crime, then you’re more likely to turn up a criminal by randomly stopping black and asian youths.
But that’s if you think stopping and searching prevents crime, which apparently it doesn’t. And if you’d rather have a police force with an institutionalised policy of racial discrimination than the odd bit of petty crime.
I know jockeys are normally short and ugly, but to call A Coleman a monkey is going to far.
Nah. I always bet on black…
I realise there’s important issues under discussion on here, but can I just ask the one question to strike me from the article above:
What kind of a user name is Wiggles Bottomley?
I mean, seriously. It’s got nothing about forrins, NuLieBore, or the EU in it. Is it what (s)he wants to do to Virginia/Peter of that ilk or what? I’m scared now.
Just to say Dizzy rules too.
I always liked Mark Thomas and his comedy product. His latest article says we should invade Jersey.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2010/feb/08/britain-should-invade-jersey
What the fuck is all this serious about? If you want to actually discuss stuff instead of mindlessly bleating catchphrases then piss off to a proper blog you po-faced twats.
Magnificent title by the way.
I shall not have discussions breaking out in here.
Unless I decide I want one. And then I shall viciously censor it to try and suppress the views of
Neil Craigmassively clever and well-adjusted people who outwit me.But Muuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-uuuuuuuuuum!
I just realised that, for all Neil’s paranoid bleating about his posts supposedly being edited and censored, he kept coming back for more until exactly the moment that I finally *did* edit one of his posts, and then he fucked off, never to be seen again.
Crazy huh? Makes you, um, think. About something. Probably.
Turns out it’s pointless engaging with complete mentalists. It’s much more effective to edit all their comments to say “Hi, my name is Neil Craig and I fuck children”. He’s so fucking mental he probably thinks he wrote it himself.
It was when he found himself admitting that he bums foxes that his world fell apart, I think.
Hi, my name is Neil Craig and I fuck children.
I often walk past Neil’s shop. He really should get that window fixed, the draft must be hellish.
I found one:
The old classic “I am not racist……but”
You couldn’t make it up.
You stupid fuckers. Isn’t it obvious that the race card is a phone line?
i can confirm that Dave The Degu is correct and “The race card” is a helpline…they even have a them song
If theres police injustice
In your sink estate
Who ya’ gonna call
RACE CARD!
If the cops be trippin
With their Stop n Search
Who ya’ gonna call
RACE CARD!
sorry i’ll go back into the woodwork
With all this talk of cards, I am surprised the twatbaskets haven’t played the ID card card.
Sorry but that doesn’t quite work. Try changing the last line of each verse as follows:
…… Who ya’ gonna call? CALL RACE CARD!
I also took the liberty in adding the question mark which was so sadly lacking in your version.
And try increasing the tempo by a couple of beats per minute and reducing the piano track level by 4dB.
You should be onto a winner then.
My first pedant…I feel accepted!
I hate to add some interesting facts (no I don’t, I’m aiming to impress people I’ve never met with my knowledge. Of course, this is on the interfloobes, so I could be making it all up…)
In Scotland, the higher risk group for offending is Catholic males (twice the prison population than their percentage of the national population.)
I don’t know if ScotsPlod have some sort of religion detector, or they just pick on the furrins because it’s easier.
It’s because the Scottish courts have cottoned onto the ruse of putting a curtain round the witness box with a wooden mesh panel on one side. The Catholics get confused and confess everything.
The religion detector consists of asking the suspect what their name is. If the answer is “Sean O’Flaherty” (or similar) then you can bang them up. Not quite as easy as telling when someone has a suspiciously dark skin tone, but not much harder either.
Surely “race card” is just a trendy PC term for the “Ace of Spades”. If I’m right.
If the race card bleats it could be a goat.
Methinks.
@john Adair’s Gerbil:
And that’s just the priests!
@Schroduck:
But I thought you were no longer allowed to mention black sheep, even in the nursery rhyme? You couldn’t make it up!
I reckon the race card is actually some kind of period instrument – a bit like a crumhorn. Played by those blokes… you know the ones… excessively neat beards, expensive houses in the posh part of town, books of poetry in Old French and nervous wives.
Makes his own wine. Has a bee in a jar the fridge (he’s slowing its metabolism down so he can photograph it). Leather armchair. Real balsamic vinegar. Doesn’t own a telly. Hates jazz. Wheat intolerant. Lactose intolerant. Very intolerant. Windy. Prick.
I’d love a crumhorn and a nervous wife though.
@Sheepless
I thought black sheep had been given a reprieve ever since Muslims replaced black people on the Daily Mail’s hit-list of people to be hate, and hence the new scare story was that the Three Little Pigs had to become the Three Little Animals of Indeterminate Species.
Not to worry though. It won’t be long before they decide that the next big different-people-scare is vegans, and instead of Humpty Dumpty we instead get Tofuty Dofuty corrupting our children with his leftist, yolkless ways.
You’re all wrong. It’s a rock song:
Girl, I wanna take you to a race card,
I wanna take you to a race card,
I wanna take you to a race card, race card, race card
Oh, that’s good. That’s REAL GOOD.
[quote]Common sense is brilliant like that. It handily validates all of your prejudices and negates any “evidence” brought to bear by someone who disagrees. Frankly I’m surprised we haven’t just sacked off the justice system and banged up anyone who looks a bit shifty. It’s common sense that if they look shifty, they must have a reason to look shifty.[/quote]
cmon we know that ever nigga is packin a piece.
@Nelson
“I reckon the race card is actually some kind of period instrument”
I was generally terrified as to where that was going. I thought you were going to introduce a menstruation bugle or something.
@Theodore
There was a wonderful Top Tip in the Viz a few years ago which went:-
It does make sense though. When’s the last time you heard of one of those bearded academic muso types getting done for possession? Never. It’s because they play the race card/crumhorn. Not even the coppers can withstand it.
Man, I want a crumhorn.
All this talk of Catholics/religion, music & crime has made me think perhaps “Breakin the law” would serve as an alternative title to this thread.
Yeah, it’s the denim cut off with the Saxon patch.
I have a friend who plays the crumhorn.
Does owning a crumhorn make the wife nervous, or was she nervous before ownership of said instrument?
I’m just wondering, as if it is a spouse nerve jiggler, surely the Daily Mail would be looking for a ban on the ownership of such instruments (especially by immigrants and Muslims) before it brings down moral society as we know it.
@ Oaf, is his wife nervous?
@Marx & Sparx – I’m disappointed someone with a Saxon patch isn’t advocating “Strong Arm of the Law”.
What about I fought the law (with my race card) but the law won (by beating seven shades of shit out of me)?
Speaking of fighting the law, have you guys seen “the Freeman movement”? Now there’s some truly world-class crazy.
Good call! You buyin’?
I think the ID card is generally accepted to be a good thing, so long as it happens to forrins, brown people, immigrunts, people with a slight accent and other not to be trusteds. Of course, any suggestion it should also happen to upstanding white, British not English people will be met with severe protests. On the internet. Some people will use bad language on blogs like it matters what they say or how they say it.
Funnily enough, my missus (not a white British not English person, but of the highest and fine upstandings of the upstandings) is forced to have one, whereas me (definitely not of the upstanding variety, and definitely some kind of retrograde scumbag) can get away with never having to have one.
It’s great, and hilarious when the discussion of who’s to be trusted comes up in conversation.
He’s simply just so cool!