spEak You're bRanes

Delusions of Grandeur and Retired Colonels28 Apr 2010 09:30 am

By Nelson

Should the rules for Scrabble be changed?

357. At 5:33pm on 07 Apr 2010, Raymond Hopkins wrote:
Swear word with a Z? As it happens, I know five of them, although one should really only be counted as a gross insult. Ah, the benefits of a broad education!

Cuntzip?

108 Responses to “Broadenized Horizons”

on 28 Apr 2010 at 9:59 am RIPOFF BRITIAN

I’m sure Raymond Hopkins, Cunt, wants us all to start racking our wee branes to find 5 swearwords containing the letter “z” as he sits there smiling smugly and taking a sip from a rancid cup which he always keeps on his desk and never ever washes.

The 5 words I’m thnking right now is Cunt. Cunt, cunt, cunt and cunt. Raymond Hopkins that is. Cunt.
on 28 Apr 2010 at 10:09 am funny peculiar

Is it ‘Zmug Tozzer?’
on 28 Apr 2010 at 10:15 am Richard Littlejohn's Funny Bone

One of them is ‘N-Dubz’
on 28 Apr 2010 at 10:24 am christonabike

Or the benefits of being sworn at by your hateful Polish wife that you bought off the internet? Or the misclassification of words like ‘Zionist’ as insults because you are an ignorant, misguided cunt?

If nothing else he’s inspired a debate.
on 28 Apr 2010 at 10:24 am That Bloke in the Corner

Raymond Hopkinz
on 28 Apr 2010 at 10:26 am That Bloke in the Corner

Ah, the benefits of a broad education!

What he means here, is that, he went to one of the top notch public schools and can now take a hot buttered muffin from behind with out blubbing whilst singing the school song.
on 28 Apr 2010 at 10:30 am Richard Littlejohn's Funny Bone

@christonabike

Ah, you beat me to the Polish reference. But mine is slightly different, so I’m going to burden the thread with it anyway.

What Raymond Hopkins was clumsily trying to say was:

Ah, the benefits of abroad education

As he was schooled in Poland, where it’s actually law that every word features a Z, K, and J, and has as few vowels as possible.
on 28 Apr 2010 at 10:34 am SoulBoy

I was going to suggest fuzzy wuzzies and muzzies but then remembered these are actually terms of endearment and the PC Brigade should get a life and stop being so senstive
on 28 Apr 2010 at 10:37 am ZaNuLabrador

and has as few vowels as possible.

Maybe he’s Welsh?
on 28 Apr 2010 at 10:41 am Andy

Syphillitic jizzstain?
on 28 Apr 2010 at 10:44 am millie

Zippy from ‘Rainbow?
on 28 Apr 2010 at 10:45 am Ugly Newt

As it happens, I know five of them

What he means is that he knows five wazzocks.

although one should really only be counted as a gross insult

…and that’s just him referring to himself as “one”, because he thinks that’s a sign of refinement.
on 28 Apr 2010 at 11:05 am 773 (metric)

Niggaz
Bitchez
Hoze
AK47z
Bumz
Lena Zavaroni

I count 6 (six!)
on 28 Apr 2010 at 11:12 am All New Have Your Lurk (Now With Humour!)

1. Zero tolerance
2. Zoid (It means “anticonformist”, according to my dictionary)
3. Zombie
4. Zoroastrian
5. Zoophile (practicer of a form of extreme bestiality)
on 28 Apr 2010 at 11:17 am brown town

I’m not sure “Zoroastrian” is an insult unless you are a militant athiest or hate fire.
on 28 Apr 2010 at 11:23 am All New Have Your Lurk (Now With Humour!)

All right then:

4. Zaftig (said of a woman, very curvy). Or, in other words, fat slag.
on 28 Apr 2010 at 11:41 am That Bloke in the Corner

Or, in other words, fat slag.

Surely this should be fat zlag?
on 28 Apr 2010 at 11:48 am -273

Zebra-rapist
on 28 Apr 2010 at 12:03 pm funny peculiar

Zeinab Badawi

(It means mouldy mongoose minge in the Sudanese variant of Arabic.)
on 28 Apr 2010 at 12:04 pm Dizzy

You guys are shit. I Googled it and got… well, actually, I got fuck all, but in the spirit of the internet and all that is interactive shit, I’m going to pretend I found zhithead.
on 28 Apr 2010 at 12:06 pm All New Have Your Lurk (Now With Humour!)

Mm, Dizzy’s got two Z’s in it…
on 28 Apr 2010 at 12:10 pm RT

Who better to ask about z-related swearwords than Buffy?

(http://www.rathergood.com/buffy)
on 28 Apr 2010 at 12:20 pm Dizzy

All New Have Your Lurk (Now With Humour!)

Mm, Dizzy’s got two Z’s in it…

You’re right, but it’s only a bad word in the context of a smug, fat Tory cunt with no sense of humour.
on 28 Apr 2010 at 12:38 pm ad ho

Zebedee : Rhythmic squeak of mattress springs.
Wazzuuuup! : Vineger cries of a premature ejaculator.
Ritzy: Public school alumnus, still fond of a cheesy biscuit.
Zoo: Runny poo.
Ratzinger: Rodent’s tail worn as arse-jewelry.
on 28 Apr 2010 at 12:38 pm Ugeine

zanuliebore?
on 28 Apr 2010 at 12:39 pm brown town

@ dizzy
I’m pretty sure it’s not what you meant, but it sounds like you are waving a blue flag with a picture of a tree on it. If you are waving said flag, in my opinion you are a silly billy.
on 28 Apr 2010 at 12:45 pm Dizzy

@brown town

No, there is actually a fat Tory cunt blogger called Dizzy. I’m rather skinny.

Also, not a Tory. I think we established that I’ve always voted Liberal Democrat, even before it was fashionable.

I’m working on the sense of humour though. Every morning I wake up and tell the missus the same knock knock joke, because habituation is the simplest form of learning.
on 28 Apr 2010 at 12:54 pm Lurker in a Burkha

Have a bit of this Raymond Hopkins, you smug cunt:

Zippyfucker – one who fucks Zippy (aka Bungle)
Zooerasty – boffing animals, normally up the shitter
Zygotewaste – a waste of a good zygote
Zombiewank – a slow wank so good it makes you emit a low pitched groan
Zebracock – self-explanatory

Ah, the benefits of a completely wasted education!
on 28 Apr 2010 at 12:57 pm Loumo

I reckon he’s been at the Snoop Dogg records. Fo’ shizzle.
on 28 Apr 2010 at 1:02 pm Kris

Dizzy

Every morning I wake up and tell the missus the same knock knock joke, because habituation is the simplest form of learning.

…are you trying to say you smack her around?
on 28 Apr 2010 at 1:27 pm All New Have Your Lurk (Now With Humour!)

No, he’s trying to say he knocks her up.
on 28 Apr 2010 at 1:30 pm SoulBoy

A very thin line between the two for Kaidr-Buxton practitioners
on 28 Apr 2010 at 1:33 pm All New Have Your Lurk (Now With Humour!)

Smack my bitch up?
on 28 Apr 2010 at 1:33 pm Andy

@Lurker in a Burkha:

And here I was thinking a zombie wank included a detachable penis.

Ah, well, back to the drawing board…
on 28 Apr 2010 at 1:35 pm All New Have Your Lurk (Now With Humour!)

@Andy

That’s a leperwank.
on 28 Apr 2010 at 1:47 pm Kris

SoulBoy

A very thin line between the two for Kaidr-Buxton practitioners

It’s pretty much a given that AKB wakes his wife up every morning with a smack about the head, then fiddles around with her voo-voo for a while. But I like to imagine that he does it with the carefree air of a man making a cup of tea or something.
I also like to think that his wife patiently puts up with him, and sometimes pats him on the head affectionately, like you would a soppy dog.
on 28 Apr 2010 at 1:55 pm All New Have Your Lurk (Now With Humour!)

Since Andy’s handclap is now called the Kadir-Buxton (formerly Buxton), I deduce that his wife is actually the brains behind the team. Let’s have a big hand for Ms. Kadir!

…oh God, I swear I didn’t realise what that meant until I typed it.
on 28 Apr 2010 at 2:04 pm My Pockets Hurt

“Zounds”. I bet he’s counting that, the cunt.
on 28 Apr 2010 at 2:05 pm 773 (metric)

Joke about swords, double bigamy, 3 Ms Kadirs.
on 28 Apr 2010 at 2:10 pm All New Have Your Lurk (Now With Humour!)

Zit! All along it was staring me in the face.
on 28 Apr 2010 at 2:16 pm Andy

@All New Have Your Lurk (Now With Humour!)

Now, see, I thought that had something to do with spotted dick.

*sigh* I’ll never get the hang of this…
on 28 Apr 2010 at 2:17 pm Loumo

Zebra. As in the joke, popular with schoolchildren in the 1970s, whose punchline is “take off, zebra, baby!”
on 28 Apr 2010 at 2:19 pm Dizzy

Kris

…are you trying to say you smack her around?

“Knock knock”
“Who’s there?”
“An interrupting cow.”
“An interruptin-”
“MOO!”

Six years of that and she probably wishes I’d just punch her in the fanny.
on 28 Apr 2010 at 2:24 pm Lurker in a Burkha

@Andy

Detachable penis you say?

*has flashback to Beavis and Butthead*
on 28 Apr 2010 at 2:33 pm All New Have Your Lurk (Now With Humour!)

All penises are actually detachable. What really comes in handy* is a reattachable penis.

*i.e. comes in handy, not in mouthy
on 28 Apr 2010 at 2:35 pm Ugly Newt

According to my guide to popular slang (South Park), “snizz” counts. As in “Raymond Hopkins is a snivelling snake’s snizz”.
on 28 Apr 2010 at 2:40 pm SoulBoy

Off topic, but there is a stunningly in-depth piece on dangerous dogs in this local paper -

http://www.salisburyjournal.co.uk/news/8116189./

I suspect I won’t have been the first from here to have come across this one, I spotted a “just goes to show, you can never be too careful” in the comments
on 28 Apr 2010 at 4:14 pm Phil Arious

I remember ‘chozzler’ being used as a potent insult on this site before, that must be one of the five surely?
on 28 Apr 2010 at 4:18 pm Richard Littlejohn's Funny Bone

@ Soulboy

The level of cynicism in those comments is fantastic. Puts us lot to shame.

My current favourite being:

After hearing this shocking news we obviously need to invade Iran

Everyone should check that article.
on 28 Apr 2010 at 4:21 pm Richard Littlejohn's Funny Bone

There’s also an update! 130,000 people apparantly checked the ‘story’

http://www.salisburyjournal.co.uk/news/8116189./
on 28 Apr 2010 at 4:34 pm That Bloke in the Corner

csmithuk, Salisbury says…
1:26pm Mon 26 Apr 10
The male dog walker was probably an illegal immigrant. Once again we can see the consequences of Labour’s lax attitude toward immigration. How many more dogs’ noses must be injured before we tighten our border controls?

WTF, is there anything the twatbasketry cannot blame imigrunts and Zanuliabore for?
on 28 Apr 2010 at 4:38 pm Mr Flabulous

@That Bloke etc

“Twatbazketry”. Fixed that for you.
on 28 Apr 2010 at 4:39 pm Lurker in a Burkha

That Bloke in the Corner, I’d hazard a guess that that’s a joke post? The decent spelling and grammar give it away for me (and the joke about dogs’ noses)
on 28 Apr 2010 at 4:46 pm That Bloke in the Corner

@Lurker in a Burkha, so that passes as humour in Salisbury?
on 28 Apr 2010 at 4:47 pm That Bloke in the Corner

@Mr Flabulous, thanks for that, knew there was something missing.
on 28 Apr 2010 at 6:02 pm Nelson

Everyone should check that article.

Ar, my favourites were the Iran one quoted above and the one that was just next to it:

Obama was born in Kenya.
on 28 Apr 2010 at 6:51 pm Mal

‘Shi-tzu’s shit chute’ is technically three words but that’s just pedantry.

I suppose that since political correctness went mad we’re no longer allow to use the good old English word ‘spazz’ because it might be offensive to Muslims or somebody. So much for free speech!
on 28 Apr 2010 at 7:01 pm Mal

Fido_the_dog, london says…
6:58am Tue 27 Apr 10
Woof woof woof! Bark bark woof! pant bark whine, woof woof! Woof woof (sniffs balls) woof woof!

Ahhh, I’m sure many of us will be pleased to see that Gobbler is in fact alive and well and living under an alias.
on 28 Apr 2010 at 7:10 pm All New Have Your Lurk (Now With Humour!)

Everyone should check that article.

Stunning stuff. Who’d have thought that there were so many right-thinkin’ people out there?

This is brave and edgy reporting. It’s a pity that the Pulitzer Prize is limited to the USA.

Dog Nose Trauma Support Group, Bartley says…

If you or your dog has been affected by this problem then don’t suffer in silence. You are not alone. Contact the DNTG for meetings in your local area.

I was thinking of moving to Ringwood, but not after this. No siree Bob. It’s quite obvious how much the area has degenerated after reading this. There’s no way I’m putting my family OR pets at risk in a hell-hole like this. What is this country coming to? Bring back National Service I say. Wasn’t like this in my day.

I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.

Woof woof woof! Bark bark woof! pant bark whine, woof woof! Woof woof (sniffs balls) woof woof!

none of these comments are funny any more. stop it please.

Okay, okay. After all…

Oh, the humanity.

People of Salisbury, I salute you.
on 28 Apr 2010 at 7:11 pm All New Have Your Lurk (Now With Humour!)

@Mal

Shit. Got there before me with Fido the dog.
on 28 Apr 2010 at 8:35 pm Duellin' Mangoes

Old Bigotz. Ze lot of you.
on 28 Apr 2010 at 10:10 pm Hootie McBoob

Nelson,
I am seriously starting to worry about your mental health. How much longer can you go on looking at this terrible bollocks on HYS etc, it is the equivalent of brain diarrhoea!

I once found the mental, ignorant cunts who verbally vomit their ridiculous opinions on the web funny. But now I just feel bloody sad!
I do hope you have a drug problem or alcohol addiction to cheer you up in your dark times.

I find Tesco value vodka before work helps me face the day! *cries*
on 29 Apr 2010 at 1:13 am Gobber, The Oral Sex Alsatian

*whine*
on 29 Apr 2010 at 1:17 am Gobbler, The Oral Sex Alsatian

*wags tail apologetically* “Sorry about the typo – oops, not supposed to let them know I’m a talking dog…”
on 29 Apr 2010 at 5:31 am Dizzy

That story was cocking awesome.

The story about the story was so postmodern my balls started to ache.

I eagerly await the story about the story about the story. We’ll have to create a new cultural era to accommodate it, though.
on 29 Apr 2010 at 9:10 am All New Have Your Lurk (Now With Humour!)

Holy shit, I think I’ve found one. “byeway, Amesbury” comments on the story-about-the-story:

After 13 years of NuLiebor even our dogs are under attack.Its a good job that the socialist Journal did not hear about the bloke in Fordingbridge who bites his own dog!

The dodgy punctuation excludes the possibility of a joke post by someone with a functioning brain, plus the taken-for-granted “After 13 years of NuLiebor…” (which obviously is a bad thing*) seals it for me. Yes, folks, byeway is your actual HYS nutter, caught on camera in the wild!

*I fucking hate New Labour, as I do all political parties, but not in the way that HYS commentators do.
on 29 Apr 2010 at 9:55 am BimmsWane

Every response is a gem. I’m going to do my part by pasting this one across:

Dear Lord! we need an urgent inquiry. personally, I blame it on the boogie
on 29 Apr 2010 at 10:19 am All New Have Your Lurk (Now With Humour!)

…personally, I blame it on the beagle.

Fixed.
on 29 Apr 2010 at 10:26 am SoulBoy

…personally, I blame it on the beagle.

The passive smoking debate was last week
on 29 Apr 2010 at 11:11 am Richard Littlejohn's Funny Bone

I’m waiting for when Nelson and co. take SYB comments, and post them for us to comment on. Or I wonder if there’s a website that treats SYB like we treat HYS.

Whatever the ball-aching situation, I think it’s quantum. Hopefully the internet will melt if this does happen.
on 29 Apr 2010 at 11:14 am Richard Littlejohn's Funny Bone

* Nelson and co. to to SYB comments

And I don’t just mean in a thread, I gather that we do this already. I mean using them as the starting point for our sticky rage output
on 29 Apr 2010 at 11:15 am Richard Littlejohn's Funny Bone

*to take

Ah, for-fucking-get it
on 29 Apr 2010 at 11:52 am Kris

@Richard Littlejohn’s Funny Bone

It’s entirely possible that you will be the first target of this new SYB of SYB. We’re going to ruthlessly mock your inability to type a basic sentence without fucking it up several times.

I had to spell check this post about 4 times before I felt comfortable submitting it, don’t want to be hoisted by my own petard, as it were, methinks, if I’m right.
on 29 Apr 2010 at 12:08 pm Pedant's Petard

“to ruthlessly mock your inability”

Nice try, but that’s a split infinitive.

It’s cloudy but warm & humid, not sure if I’ll need my coat or not. Best get it anyway.
on 29 Apr 2010 at 12:26 pm All New Have Your Lurk (Now With Humour!)

I’m waiting for when Nelson and co. take SYB comments, and post them for us to comment on. Or I wonder if there’s a website that treats SYB like we treat HYS.

How do you know Nelson & co. aren’t doing this already?
on 29 Apr 2010 at 12:45 pm All New Have Your Lurk (Now With Humour!)

I’m waiting for when Nelson and co. take SYB comments, and post them for us to comment on. Or I wonder if there’s a website that treats SYB like we treat HYS.

Pedant’s Petard – wait for me, I just have to get my coat as well…
on 29 Apr 2010 at 12:50 pm BimmsWane

take SYB comments, and post them for us to comment on

I agree. It would be well overdue. You’re all a bunch of twats guilty of the same twattery exhibited by the HYS twats, as am I. Please, Nelson & co, either start abusing your readers or re-enable the blah filter. Ruin the fun for everyone. It’s exactly what the twats deserve.
on 29 Apr 2010 at 1:02 pm Ugeine

How do you know Nelson & co. aren’t doing this already?

It’s not nelson’s style. If he disarees with something you post on SYB, he’ll send your pregnant girlfriend abusive texts.
on 29 Apr 2010 at 1:03 pm SoulBoy

I can’t see the new HYS “Should politicians be talking about immigration?” ending well.

I do somewhat pity this chap though -

4. At 12:11pm on 29 Apr 2010, joshua goldblum wrote:
Should politicians be talking about immigration?
No No No They shoould be stopping it thats why I will be voting for the BNP.

I can’t quite put my finger on why but I suspect he might have trouble proving his English (not British) roots to the satisfaction of some within the BNP.
on 29 Apr 2010 at 1:27 pm Richard Littlejohn's Funny Bone

@Pedant’s Petard

It is warm and humid isn’t it? But there’s a threat of rain. Treacherous clouds.

I’ve given worked out how SYB-Squared would work. I’m only ever going to read the Salisbury Journal from now on.
on 29 Apr 2010 at 1:38 pm Rotwatcher

hoisted by my own petard

I think you mean hoist with my own petard, surely?

Didn’t bring one – it’s just a light drizzle.
on 29 Apr 2010 at 2:01 pm dashizzle

Guess who’s back! From http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/comment/columnists/hugo_rifkind/article7108880.ece

Rhys Jaggar wrote:
It’s the Beckham syndrome for winning SPOTY, at least it was until I told the BBC to award it Sir SR or else. Now its just an inside job gambling scam.

Then its the ‘phone a friend’ syndrome. I knew someone who wrote a book and one of our work colleagues wrote a ‘you’re my hero’ bit on Amazon. It was a good book, but that made me puke. Prostitution is here to stay for men in the place of work!!
on 29 Apr 2010 at 2:12 pm All New Have Your Lurk (Now With Humour!)

@dashizzle

Fuck me, that’s amazing. I’d never encountered Mr. Jaggar’s work before this. That is a new level of transcendence heretofore unseen, yea.
on 29 Apr 2010 at 2:15 pm Dizzy

BimmsWane

I agree. It would be well overdue. You’re all a bunch of twats guilty of the same twattery exhibited by the HYS twats, as am I. Please, Nelson & co, either start abusing your readers or re-enable the blah filter. Ruin the fun for everyone. It’s exactly what the twats deserve.

Oh, please. I’m depressed enough already without the sudden realisation that I’m part of the problem. Your reverse psychology won’t work on me, because I’m basically a fucking idiot.
on 29 Apr 2010 at 2:18 pm SoulBoy

@ANHYL

Rhys is a Regular Twat – http://ifyoulikeitsomuchwhydontyougolivethere.com/?s=jaggar&submit=Search
on 29 Apr 2010 at 2:24 pm Neil...is.....is that you???

Oh ho ho. Your friend and mine:

http://www.kathryncramer.com/photos/glasgow_2005/img_0005.html

And selected reviews:

The owner sits behind the counter like a spider. I’m not convinced it isn’t his bedroom. Beware of being caught in his beard and forced into a life of eternal standing-orders.

…really good. He’ll try and get you to have a ‘pull list’ and destroy yr eyes with his jumpers, but either ignore or say no, rattle through the drawers and head.

…that’s where I had my standing order for The Invisibles, bad experiences with the guy mean that I’ve only been back in once since then. But I can still see him…… from the window……. in my sleep.
on 29 Apr 2010 at 2:35 pm Theodore

My dog suffers from arrhinia and am often questioned upon the olofactory repercussions of this ailment.
on 29 Apr 2010 at 2:39 pm Dizzy

That’s proper Neil, that is. That’s our Neil, with the social skills, personal hygiene and obsessive knowledge of complete and utter shit that are the real hallmarks of someone with Asperger’s Syndrome. Or as they used to be known, school spaccas.

However, I did a brief Google and found that Catriona M. has offered forward a review of Neil’s place that’s strikingly similar to one Catherine Oliver would do:

Comic books are not my thing. I just do not get them but on a trip to town with a very good friend he insisted that we stop into Future Shock on Woodlands road. I waited as he chatted with the owner about the latest something or other. He brought a bundle of Spiderman comics for a couple of pounds and then we left. I feel I am not really able to review this shop on my own knowledge but if we go on what my friend, who is very much in the know, this is a genuine comic shop gem. He proudly informed me that Future Shock has the widest selection of Science Fiction comics this side of Birmingham. 24,000 to be roughly precise. Wow!
on 29 Apr 2010 at 2:43 pm Neil...is.....is that you???

To be roughly precise, very good friends don’t let very good friends get involved in conversations with Neil.
on 29 Apr 2010 at 2:56 pm All New Have Your Lurk (Now With Humour!)

I don’t know Neil personally, but he reminds me of Michael Crawford in Some Mothers Do ‘Ave ‘Em. I was only ten when I saw it, old enough to have a rough idea of how the world worked, and it honestly used to upset me that this Michael Crawford guy couldn’t even tie his shoelaces without causing mass destruction and embarrassment. Yet he had a wife and a baby daughter, which require a certain amount of consolidated world knowledge to achieve.

This Neil seems something similar; it is no small matter to open a shop, keep it stocked and keep it sort of going and manage the staff and all that. Yet he’s a regular twat, apparently. Asperger’s Syndrome just about describes it…
on 29 Apr 2010 at 4:41 pm Ugly Newt

Can we stop stalking Aspergers sufferers and get back to pointing and
laughing at the self-elected spokesmen for all that’s boring and
normal?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/haveyoursay/2010/04/gordon_browns_remarks_your_rea.html

Keith5485:

None of the main parties are prepared to reverse our mass
immigration problems and won’t allow us to discuss it either.

Obviously the moderators haven’t found your post yet – they must still
be working through Keiths1-5484.

Kevin Raddy:

To hold virtually any views contrary to the PC liberal elite
invites such a label now, though the terms themselves have
become meaningless through overuse, being as they are often
applied to anyone with a difficult or unwelcome question.

You mean, like applying the term “PC liberal elite” to anyone who would
like you to stop blaming foreigners for everything that’s rubbish?
You’ll be telling me that I can’t call a bigot a bigot next, you PC
loony.
on 29 Apr 2010 at 4:55 pm All New Have Your Lurk (Now With Humour!)

Paul B, from the same “debate”:

This should not have happened. (a) He should have been told that his microphone was still active, (b) he should not have said it.

I can imagine how that would work out. As long as Brown’s mike is still on, there should be a guy following him, saying over and over again:

“Prime Minister, your mike’s still on. Prime Minister, your mike’s still on. Prime Minister, your mike’s still on.”
on 29 Apr 2010 at 5:02 pm All New Have Your Lurk (Now With Humour!)

Jamie:

IF YOU THINK IN THE UK YOU HAVE A FREE PRESS

Think again

At first I thought, Wait. I’m in the UK. If I think while I’m here, then I get a free press? Cool. I wonder if it works on the Scottish islands as well?
on 29 Apr 2010 at 5:03 pm All New Have Your Lurk (Now With Humour!)

Let’s try that again…

Jamie:

IF YOU THINK IN THE UK YOU HAVE A FREE PRESS

Think again

At first I thought, Wait. I’m in the UK. If I think while I’m here, then I get a free press? Cool. I wonder if it works on the Scottish islands as well?
on 29 Apr 2010 at 5:22 pm All New Have Your Lurk (Now With Humour!)

Okay, last one before I get my coat. (Blame Ugly Newt, he’s the one who wanted us back on topic.)

r3loaded says:

I don’t understand the massive media coverage, Gordon Brown spoke honestly and truthfully, calling a spade a spade.

This is pretty typical of the unwashed masses – they complain when politicians lie, and complain when they tell the truth. They complain when taxes are increased, and simultaneously complain when spending is cut, not realising that you can’t have both high spending and low taxes.

No wonder that even the totalitarian government in George Orwell’s 1984 had to invent “doublespeak”.

Lovely post, this. Bigotry in the first paragraph, superciliousness in the second, and some sort of literary time-travel grandfather paradox in the last. Beautiful.
on 29 Apr 2010 at 5:41 pm back to zzz

Do we think Raymond was having a zank?
on 29 Apr 2010 at 7:31 pm Richard Littlejohn's Funny Bone

@ All New Have Your Lurk (Now With Humour!)

Trouser press or printing press?

I’ve also just discovered the term ‘benign dictatorship’ on the HYS wankery about bigot Brown. What a lovely term.
on 29 Apr 2010 at 8:23 pm Bugrat

Prostitution is here to stay for men in the place of work!!

That has a certain rumpty-tumpty meter to it, like a line from a song.
on 29 Apr 2010 at 8:31 pm Kris

@Pedant’s Petard & Rotwatcher

I suppose I was asking for it. You’re still tits though.

I’m not convinced it isn’t his bedroom.

Well that’s just straight up hilarious.
on 29 Apr 2010 at 8:34 pm Kris

Aaah the debate is starting. I’m practically cumming in my pants already. Now to go and try not to kill myself.
on 30 Apr 2010 at 9:39 am Sean Ellis

Holy Zarquon, what is he on about?
on 30 Apr 2010 at 5:26 pm Ed aka Lurkshire Bubble-Hunt

The story about the story was so postmodern my balls started to ache.

I eagerly await the story about the story about the story. We’ll have to create a new cultural era to accommodate it, though.

Emailmodern.
on 01 May 2010 at 3:16 am Geezer

Get em out and throw em out and KEEP Em out! You lot on here are probably all faggots anyway so what would you know????
on 01 May 2010 at 11:43 am Doc Wrong

re Geezer- WOW it’s the human twat-o-tron.
Tell you what sweetheart, I bet you got a hard-on writing that
on 01 May 2010 at 1:26 pm Geezer's probation officer

Geezer will not be returning to this thread having violated the terms of his probation under item 2 of the agreement:

2) Geezer agrees to not be a cunt.
on 04 May 2010 at 1:40 am Geezer

My porbation officer my arseholes! You bunch of sad sacks are all bummin each other on the dole anyway so hahaha!!!!! You can,t even accept the truth when its expolding in your own country so why should I work?
on 04 May 2010 at 2:36 am Dizzy

Fuck, why go to HYS when HYS will come here?
on 04 May 2010 at 6:05 pm Ed aka Lurkshire Bubble-Hunt

Thanks for visiting, Geezer. It’s wit like that that “keeps it real” in here. Fo shizzle.

"If you love Iran so much..
why don't you go live there?"

108 Responses to “Broadenized Horizons”

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spEak You're bRanes

"If you love Iran so much.. why don't you go live there?"

108 Responses to “Broadenized Horizons”

About

Search

Contributors

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"If you love Iran so much..
why don't you go live there?"